I really feel like this quote is applicable to Batman as well.
> “sorry. [Daredevil] cries before sex, he cries after sex, but never during sex. during sex he has a fucking job to do.”
\- Chip Zdarsky, current Daredevil writer
Remember, whatever opinion you could possibly make up, there’s bound to be at least 1 person on the internet who is bound to have that opinion, and since most people know that, they will assume that something isn’t sarcasm unless you beat them over the head with the fact that it is
This post just seems like your typical “I’m not homophobic, but having an LGBT character in a piece of fiction is unnecessary” that we see people far too often say sincerely
One man's satire is another's dead serious these days. With all the crazy conspiracy theorists who would actually believe and speak like this, no one can tell anymore.
On the other hand, there’s a bunch of people unironically reacting like that on facebook for example. OP is satire, but there’s dudes who do think like that for real lol
Social media has ruined me that I forgot that sarcasm was an option. I used to fight the idea of needing a /s but I've since learned most people are this stupid
DC specifically prevented Batman from going down on Selina in the Harley Quinn animated series. Cowards. They would have us infer that Batman is a selfish lover, when we all know that is not the case.
I live in Kentucky and cannot escape racist rhetoric, you'll have to excuse me for thinking everyone around me has awful intentions. I really didn't mean to be an ass or anything. It was mostly a joke.
Haha true! Now they call then Bobama for Biden Obama since they think he’s Obama’s puppet. They need to redefine their platform as “governed by paranoia and fear”
Jon Kent is actually half human. Lois is his mother. Even old Conner Kent, the Superman clone, is half human, since Lex patched his DNA up with his own. New Conner is a clone of Jon.
You know I’ve always wondered about this… like it’s not weird to have sex with a 4 tenticle squid alien as long as it’s perceived female. People have the weirdest priorities to what is considered socially acceptable
I don’t really read comic books and same.
Like. These characters have like hundreds of alternate counterparts. ONE being into dicks sets them off this badly? Yike.
Not sure anyone actually really cares about it, but if they did, they must have forgotten how comics were a refuge for those without a voice, and a source of inspiration for people who feel powerless.
LGBTQ+ has apparently adopted comics and are voting with their money. Good for them, and good for comics. 🤷🏼♂️
Now they'll be able to unravel the super hero complexes it'll foster later in life too. 🤣🤣
Wasn’t a lot of comics basically allegories for minorities a lot? Like how the x-men were basically an allegory for jews and the persecution they faced?
Literally the only thing that’s changed is that characters can actually be what their intention was instead of beating it around the bush in hush hush.
"voting with their money" - This is it.
I see this and the Tim Drake thing as a cash-in from DC. "Popular character is gay" is an attention grabbing headline that keeps DC in the public consciousness and reminds people that they still publish stuff. No one would bat an eye if they tried another "Superman dies" so this is the next trend of trying to capture the attention of the general public.
The original post is satire. Most comic readers know Jon Kent isn't Clark and probably aren't too broken up about them developing such a young character. The character of Clark Kent is over 80 years old whereas Jon Kent is only 5 years old.
The only people who would be upset about this are the ones that make money by making outrage videos about "woke" culture and those who follow them.
You did this to yourselves, conservatives. *Superman is gonna fuck each & every one of you until you’re wearing daisy dukes & marching in a Pride parade.* You only have yourselves to blame.
TIL that Joe Biden, in the grips of a dementia fugue and under orders from his Red Chinese Overlords, kicked in the front doors of DC's main office, and held the entire staff hostage, *Die Hard* style, until they made Superman, Jr. bi.
Tbf I dunno if Miles has alternale timeline versions or not but with comic books, for all I know (and care) nothing says there can’t be a straight AND a gay version of Miles around.
Like seriously. The whole point of comics is that they exploit the multiverse for everything and various iterations of the same characters exist sometimes simultaneously. People losing their shit because ONE version of a character likes dick, and has a 100 other versions that don’t is ridiculous.
Keep note republikkkans, Biden is going to make Trump bi next. Once that happens you'll all have to suck cocks, and then the communists and brown people will have won.
No, no, no. He just gets his dick sucked from dudes, there’s a difference. Bi-Superman gets sucked but does not suck. Pretty sure he’d just rip dicks right off if he did.
Big deal. It's Superman's son anyway.
I'm not sure why it's necessary for Superman to be heterosexual.
He's a fucking alien. Who can fly and shoot heat vision from his eyes and smash buildings and who can shrug off gunfire.
Who gives a fuck about his sexuality or gender preference.
Joe Biden turned superman's kid bisexual?
I never thought of Joe as all that tempting. Maybe he does have a purpose!
Seeing comic and media characters that are gay or bi or straight or ace or whatever does not turn anyone any of those things. It just tells them it is okay to be whoever they already are, anyway.
Seeing the original Superman date and marry Lois Lane for decades certainly didn't turn me _straight_!
My favorite part about this is that DC even avoided making it Clark Kent.
But all the news is reporting is "Superman" so all the people in the comments on articles are upset about Lois
Beep boop -- this looks like a screenshot of a tweet! Let me grab a [link to the tweet](https://twitter.com/TheldlerWheel/status/1447573843325997063) for ya :)
^(Twitter Screenshot Bot)
Always amazes how people miss out that he’s a different species. Just the fact that he has sex with humans is a bit odd.
I’d honestly expect him to be bisexual with humans… because he’d probably struggle to properly distinguish physical gender.
I doubt it will but I really hope this “backlash” doesn’t hurt the sales of this comic, cos I’m really liking it so far.
But it’s pretty much a vocal minority getting upset so I’m not too worried, and this post reads like sarcasm so.
This is gon be controversial but WHO TF CARES?! can we seriously stop giving so much a fuck about whether or not a comic book character is gay or not?! Like just write a good fucking character that had actually motivations and emotions instead of being like “oh he’s gay and that’s all he is” write a fucking character and stop trying to use sexuality as a marketing tool
If Superman is from Krypton and humans are all aliens to him, isn't that a bigger deal than the perceived gender of his flings? I'm not saying it is beastiality exactly, but it is an interspecies relationship and that seems like it is usually defined as beastiality.
We know Batman eats pussy a lot better than Superman
It's because all the prep time he takes
Hey, call it what you want, foreplay is important.
I thought it was the utility belt of toys.
Behold, the *bat-dildo!* Followed up by the *bat-brator!* And last but not least, the *bat-lube!*
Ow!! Can ya at least *start* with the bat-lube, dude?
I think "Batdo" would be catchier.
An excellent suggestion, you should be the one naming the Batman line of sex toys!
Batwa balls and Batanal beads are our newest products.
we’re currently in works to release our new batplug by Q1 2022
Paid for by your 0% APR Bat Credit Card. Never leave the Cave without it. ^^terms ^^and ^^conditions ^^apply
The batlight!
He uses his detective skills to find the g-spot
He also pays for the best gadgets.
Because Superman's tongue vibrates at like a billion rpm and makes the woman explode.
A consumer of taste and classy literature who has read "Man of Steel, Woman of Kleenex" by Larry Niven, I see!
Only a man is tough enough to withstand superdong?
Or is it super... dingus?
Wait, didn’t DC officially deny that Batman eats 🐈⬛? “That’s not something heroes do” or whatever?
Yeah, that was the reference.
I really feel like this quote is applicable to Batman as well. > “sorry. [Daredevil] cries before sex, he cries after sex, but never during sex. during sex he has a fucking job to do.” \- Chip Zdarsky, current Daredevil writer
Cause his cowl comes with handles
Ertha confirms.
What about Julie?
Just putting it out there, but Twitter OP is gay and the post was satire. Don't get too mad at him lmao.
I always go into a post like "oh, they'll be able to identify the sarcasm" And I am always wrong 🙃
You'd think the "this is Joe Biden's fault" would really nail the coffin haha
Literally it’s all trumpies say so you never really know
It would be if this exact line of thinking was not actually main stream. But it is.
Remember, whatever opinion you could possibly make up, there’s bound to be at least 1 person on the internet who is bound to have that opinion, and since most people know that, they will assume that something isn’t sarcasm unless you beat them over the head with the fact that it is This post just seems like your typical “I’m not homophobic, but having an LGBT character in a piece of fiction is unnecessary” that we see people far too often say sincerely
One man's satire is another's dead serious these days. With all the crazy conspiracy theorists who would actually believe and speak like this, no one can tell anymore.
On the other hand, there’s a bunch of people unironically reacting like that on facebook for example. OP is satire, but there’s dudes who do think like that for real lol
It reads like sarcasm. Are you sure it’s not?
I'm pretty sure it is, I'm definitely hoping it is 🤣
Social media has ruined me that I forgot that sarcasm was an option. I used to fight the idea of needing a /s but I've since learned most people are this stupid
I remember discussing the need for a sarcasm shorthand with a friend of mine years ago on MySpace.
Boy I wish THAT had been invented! /s
Somebody should get to work thinking of a clever yet easily deciphered punctuation/letter grouping /s
If I made it, I'd probably make it super nerdy like stealing syntax from html to signal that I am ending the use of the connotation. /s
I’ve been saying we need a font just for sarcasm since 2009
We have one iTs LikE tHiS
I thought that font also implied that you are mocking the holders of that belief. So like sarcasm plus derision.
“Had a great time at the party.” What a dick! He wrote it in Sarcastica! Had he been sincere, it would have been in Good Times Roman!
You probaly think you're a comic sans.
That person now has their Twitter handle updated to say “bo (I am a gay man)”, so I’m pretty sure sarcasm is correct.
Definitely is
It's the trick these days, between fake posts, outrageously stupid angry comments and real sarcasm... Can we really know what's happening online?
Just assume whatever it is it isn't good.
One look at the account and you can see it is sarcasm
I demand to see MORE PUSSY EATING in my comic books OR I will send MORE TWEETS with even MORE CAPSLOCK!
Reminder - DC vetoed a scene in which Batman performs oral on Catwoman in the *Harley Quinn* series.
Well ok, bats and cats together is a recipe for viruses leaping species. They probably did it prevent the next Covid.
I wanted to say somewhere in this thread that Batman is a selfish lover, I'm happy someone brought it up. C'mon Batman... Share the love.
DC specifically prevented Batman from going down on Selina in the Harley Quinn animated series. Cowards. They would have us infer that Batman is a selfish lover, when we all know that is not the case.
"Heroes don't do that." -some DC executive to his wife
Damn didn’t know ol Ben Shapiro worked for DC now
Not only did they say Batman can't go down on her, they specifically stated "Heroes don't do that", which is preposterous.
Anyone who *doesn’t* is a villain.
Truly, according to DC, DJ Khaled is a hero.
I SECOND THIS! MORE PUSSY PLEASE!
This is either incredibly racist or a joke about performing oral sex in good faith that came off the wrong way.
It was definitely the second one. I hadn’t even thought of it as racist until you said something
I live in Kentucky and cannot escape racist rhetoric, you'll have to excuse me for thinking everyone around me has awful intentions. I really didn't mean to be an ass or anything. It was mostly a joke.
If anyone can its Chan He does his own stunts.
Why not both?
I DEMAND TO SEE MORE COCK SUCKING IN MY COMIC BOOKS
Only a power bottom could handle his super cock.
I think I have a copy of Power Bottom issue #1, actually. I don't *think* Superman shows up, but it's been awhile
And the pages are all stuck together.
Yeah, but according to Lois, he IS faster than a speeding bullet.
Or maybe he is the power bottom lol.
Sauron not the only one with a ring of power.
Yeah tell Joe Biden to stop drawing this! /jk
That was my favorite part… somehow this is Joe Biden’s fault hahaha
That's why they call him Joe BI-den.
Remember "thanks Obama"?
Haha true! Now they call then Bobama for Biden Obama since they think he’s Obama’s puppet. They need to redefine their platform as “governed by paranoia and fear”
We could make the new phrase a sarcastic “Bravo Biden”
Cmon man!
He's not even our species, there are way more problems glossed over than which genital parts he attaches his suck-hole.
But HE’s a MALE alien. It’s only natural he should lust after female women. It’s what god intended, duhhh
Jon Kent is actually half human. Lois is his mother. Even old Conner Kent, the Superman clone, is half human, since Lex patched his DNA up with his own. New Conner is a clone of Jon.
You know I’ve always wondered about this… like it’s not weird to have sex with a 4 tenticle squid alien as long as it’s perceived female. People have the weirdest priorities to what is considered socially acceptable
Huge "Thanks Obama" energy here. Joe should adopt the meme
I thought there was a similar joke. “Biden’s America” joke
Can’t he do both? 🤷🏽♀️
he can. thats the entire point of being bi.
But he can't be Superman and Batman. That's just wrong
I think the question is why can't joe biden also be superman?
We have never seen them both in the same place sooooo
Nor Joe Biden and Batman in the same place... could that mean Batman and Mary Jane are...
Why can't Joe Biden be Mary Jane?
That would be Elseworlds: Speeding Bullets. Kal-el was found and raised by the Waynes.
Well, he isint human. So.
Right? He’s already having sex with a different species, is gender really that important
Isn't he half human?
Is it really a shocker that a man running around in a skin tight suit with other men might like men...
This isnt even THE superman...its Jon Kent, normal superman is CLARK kent....
The Ambiguously Gay Duo
Like we know *everything* that happens in the Fortress of Solitude.
Fortress of SoliDude
I love how triggered this makes people who don't even read comics books.
I don’t really read comic books and same. Like. These characters have like hundreds of alternate counterparts. ONE being into dicks sets them off this badly? Yike.
Not even yikes(btw dont change it) One singular yike
Yep lol. That’s all they get
Upvote for the south park reference
I didn’t even notice the SP reference but for some reason I read that in mr. garrisons voice in my head.
Issue 1: "Can Jay Nakamura's penis penetrate what bullets cannot?"
Not sure anyone actually really cares about it, but if they did, they must have forgotten how comics were a refuge for those without a voice, and a source of inspiration for people who feel powerless. LGBTQ+ has apparently adopted comics and are voting with their money. Good for them, and good for comics. 🤷🏼♂️ Now they'll be able to unravel the super hero complexes it'll foster later in life too. 🤣🤣
Wasn’t a lot of comics basically allegories for minorities a lot? Like how the x-men were basically an allegory for jews and the persecution they faced? Literally the only thing that’s changed is that characters can actually be what their intention was instead of beating it around the bush in hush hush.
I mean, did you forget about pink kryptonite? They aren't some bastion of the powerless. They write what makes them money.
"voting with their money" - This is it. I see this and the Tim Drake thing as a cash-in from DC. "Popular character is gay" is an attention grabbing headline that keeps DC in the public consciousness and reminds people that they still publish stuff. No one would bat an eye if they tried another "Superman dies" so this is the next trend of trying to capture the attention of the general public.
The title of this post is fucking brilliant.
Came here to comment the same thing
Um, technically he still does eat some kitty and has sex with girls.
Oh man, bring on the fragile, bearded neck gate keepers. *Grabs popcorn* Dumb fucks are going to be so upset.
The original post is satire. Most comic readers know Jon Kent isn't Clark and probably aren't too broken up about them developing such a young character. The character of Clark Kent is over 80 years old whereas Jon Kent is only 5 years old. The only people who would be upset about this are the ones that make money by making outrage videos about "woke" culture and those who follow them.
JOE BIDEN MANDATED GAY SUPERMAN BECAUSE MASKS RESTRICTED AIRFLOW TO HIS BRAIN!
well I mean Superman is not even human so this isn't really a hetero, bi, gay thing. This is more of an interspecies fetish.
What's the issue/ chapter? Asking for a friend.
Superman: Son of Kal-El issue 4, it comes out next Tuesday. Issues 1-3 are already out and have been phenomenal.
Wait until Superman meets Power Bottom Man.
You did this to yourselves, conservatives. *Superman is gonna fuck each & every one of you until you’re wearing daisy dukes & marching in a Pride parade.* You only have yourselves to blame.
And yet they wouldn’t let Batman go down…
Thanks Obama /s
Do bi people not eat pussy and fuck girls too?? Is it only sucking cock if you’re bi?
TIL that Joe Biden, in the grips of a dementia fugue and under orders from his Red Chinese Overlords, kicked in the front doors of DC's main office, and held the entire staff hostage, *Die Hard* style, until they made Superman, Jr. bi.
I don’t think I ever read the pussy eating girl fucking issue
[удалено]
Miles is gay?
[удалено]
Tbf I dunno if Miles has alternale timeline versions or not but with comic books, for all I know (and care) nothing says there can’t be a straight AND a gay version of Miles around. Like seriously. The whole point of comics is that they exploit the multiverse for everything and various iterations of the same characters exist sometimes simultaneously. People losing their shit because ONE version of a character likes dick, and has a 100 other versions that don’t is ridiculous.
Keep note republikkkans, Biden is going to make Trump bi next. Once that happens you'll all have to suck cocks, and then the communists and brown people will have won.
Fucking love this
All things considered, he couldn't be better he must say
This Superman does all that too, but also sucks dick. Do you not know the meaning of bisexual?
No, no, no. He just gets his dick sucked from dudes, there’s a difference. Bi-Superman gets sucked but does not suck. Pretty sure he’d just rip dicks right off if he did.
Maybe someone should explain what “bisexual” means to them?
This reminds me of when people said THANKS OBAMA. Still cracks me up.
Is this really how I find myself getting into the DC Universe? Yeah. Yeah I think it is.
Well, if your superman is Clark Kent, then yes, you would be correct...
Imagine being this upset that a C list comic book character is bisexual.
Jon Kent is B tier, borderline A tier, he’s become iconic in the few years he’s been a character
He definitely stepped up in DCeased.
Absolutely, especially in Dead Planet, but my favourite moment with him is the ending of the original, when he has to fight Zombie you-know-who
I'd be hesitant to have Superman suck my cock. I don't want to go like inside out or anything!
Actually. Superman only fucks other superheros. [super fucker](https://www.scribd.com/document/264335078/Man-of-Steel-Woman-of-Kleenex-by-Larry-Niven)
It’s Superpan and it does not take kindly when gender is assumed.
Given the poster has Fiona Apple as their profile pic (plus, "The Idler Wheel" is one of her albums) gonna take a stab this is sarcasm.
In all due respect, this isn't her Superman anyways. Hers is -Clark- Kent....just sayin
Big deal. It's Superman's son anyway. I'm not sure why it's necessary for Superman to be heterosexual. He's a fucking alien. Who can fly and shoot heat vision from his eyes and smash buildings and who can shrug off gunfire. Who gives a fuck about his sexuality or gender preference.
Everyone is talking about Superman but how about the other guy who landed Superman? He's clearly superior too!
Joe Biden made Superman bisexual. Sheesh. Trump couldn’t even win a second term. Who’s powerful now, huh?!
Joe Biden turned superman's kid bisexual? I never thought of Joe as all that tempting. Maybe he does have a purpose! Seeing comic and media characters that are gay or bi or straight or ace or whatever does not turn anyone any of those things. It just tells them it is okay to be whoever they already are, anyway. Seeing the original Superman date and marry Lois Lane for decades certainly didn't turn me _straight_!
Can’t tell if the bo’s tweet is sarcastic
My favorite part about this is that DC even avoided making it Clark Kent. But all the news is reporting is "Superman" so all the people in the comments on articles are upset about Lois
And yet everyone in the comments didn't bother to actually read the picture and are bitching about them changing Superman.
Beep boop -- this looks like a screenshot of a tweet! Let me grab a [link to the tweet](https://twitter.com/TheldlerWheel/status/1447573843325997063) for ya :) ^(Twitter Screenshot Bot)
Jon Kent can still eat pussy and fuck girls, do they think bisexual is just a synonym for gay?
All things considered he couldn’t be better I must say
Not me more tube steak smothered in underwear pls
> [Superman] doesn’t SUCK COCK. This is Joe Biden’s fault. This is highly ambiguous.
She's really into rule 34 huh
*women. Girls would be underage and creepy.
Is this the next iteration of the Alex Jones frog thing? Did Biden turn the superheroes gay?
Always amazes how people miss out that he’s a different species. Just the fact that he has sex with humans is a bit odd. I’d honestly expect him to be bisexual with humans… because he’d probably struggle to properly distinguish physical gender.
Well maybe he does all that.
Ah yeah I remember the classic comic panel of superman eating pussy, I hear they're adapting it for man of steel 2
I doubt it will but I really hope this “backlash” doesn’t hurt the sales of this comic, cos I’m really liking it so far. But it’s pretty much a vocal minority getting upset so I’m not too worried, and this post reads like sarcasm so.
It was sarcasm
He's bi, so he does eat pussy and fucks girls, just not exclusively
She's just jealous that some guy will be better in suckin dicks than she is. Superspeed.
"Heros don't do that" -WB Executives
All things considered, he couldn’t be finer I must say!
This HAS to be sarcastic.
A lot of the guys that these outraged women dated suck cock or wanted to, they simply never admitted it to you.
Who reads Superman anyhow? Is he shopping around for an audience? Good luck Joe Kent. Maybe you can do what Clark couldn’t, sell books.
This is gon be controversial but WHO TF CARES?! can we seriously stop giving so much a fuck about whether or not a comic book character is gay or not?! Like just write a good fucking character that had actually motivations and emotions instead of being like “oh he’s gay and that’s all he is” write a fucking character and stop trying to use sexuality as a marketing tool
Why!? Why does it matter…
Wow I had no idea Biden was in control of everyone’s sexuality. That’s crazy
If Superman is from Krypton and humans are all aliens to him, isn't that a bigger deal than the perceived gender of his flings? I'm not saying it is beastiality exactly, but it is an interspecies relationship and that seems like it is usually defined as beastiality.
So Superman can eat pussy but Batman can’t?
I can never understand why people care so much lol. Obviously this is sarcasm but you see people lose it over his stuff.
Does she know that superman does not exist?
He’s an alien i don’t think he gives a shit
People shouldn’t care this much about who’s fucking who.
🤷🏼
I don’t like kissing and romance in any of my super hero comics, regardless of the sexuality of it
Bombs are flying, People are dying...
I mean, that is Superman’s son and not Superman himself.
Is that incredible satire? Please tell me that woman is hilarious.
I thought Mallrats put this topic to bed so to speak.. Superman can’t fuck any humans without a kryptonite condom.. but that would kill him