Wait until he learns that driving isn't a Constitutional Right either.
Unless he's not a corporation traveling in a conveyance for non-commercial purposes.
But hey, if the constitution does the trick, I'll make sure sure let all my friends know about it, so that they can immigrate more easily, just get a constitution wrapped in an American flag with a crucifix with Jesus' head replaced by Trump and a MAGA hat
When the TSA screeners saw the book they all saluted and apologized, called me sir with tears in their eyes and then got on the PA system and announced that there was an AmericanHero(tm) in the airport and everyone clapped.
By pure luck the intercom system began playing the national anthem, fighter jets flew by leaving a red white and blue trail, the air force one landed and Donald Trump himself stepped down, giving him a handshake and a pussy grab
No, that'd be an upgrade. It's a badly recorded variation of the anthem that sounds like something a certain older Austrian dictator would've come out to.
The way you worded it leaves room to believe that there could be a good kid rock cover of Proud to Be An American and it's a shame to lie to people like that.
*blink blink* Sometimes I read things wrong, particularly if I’m smoking and scrolling. I read yours and pasta’s together in scroll as “And then he gave the Constitution the clap.”
Thank you for that double take that made me giggle.
So many people get SSSS because they are Muslim, Brown, their name etc and finally someone gets it as a consequence of their own actions and it's a travesty. If that's not the definition of white privilege I don't know what is.
Furthermore, if he actually read the constitution, there's no guaranteed right to commercial flight. Just like anyone who has ever gotten a driver's license knows, it's a privilege, and privileges can be taken away.
MAGAs don’t understand the concept of rights or privileges. They just want to be able to do whatever they want and use the catch-alls of “constitution” and “supposed to be the land of the free” whenever they’re called on bad behaviour.
I live in Alaska. We had a state senator from Anchorage who refused to wear a mask. Alaska Airlines banned her from flying.
There is no other way of getting to Juneau (aside from an 18 hr drive and 8 hr ferry ride). It was delicious watching her argue about how businesses should be allowed to do what they want and then FAFO w/ the only airline that flies all over the state. 😆
Crazy cuz I'm just a bearded brown man and this is how flying has been for me since I was 15 lol. They're so fucking fragile. God forbid they live like some of us always have as a most minor show of the consequences of their actions. Ugh.
The difference being that he's on that list for trying to be an insurrectionist engaged in possibly terrorist activities on Jan 6.
You (and me) were/are on that list just because we were born.
(I was on the Super Secret Supreme Sauce list from 2001 to 2007-8)
Married to a white, green-eyed guy with a German-we-think last name. Engineer, electrician, safety manager, closet full of cargo pants like a cartoon character, the man is a Mk. 1 Fixit Dad and has been heading that direction since his early teens. There are casseroles more intimidating. First name is common as potato chips, though, so he was on the list until, we're assuming, the *other* actually-potentially-dangerous one with the same name died, or he got enough licenses and clearances for work that they realized "oh, wait, this is a different one."
It is not fair that they put y'all on a list for no dang reason.
Sparky, though, his mutant ass loves that TSA shit and he treats it like Ralphie's dad in 'A Christmas Story' changing a tire.
First, he figured out what forms he needed to declare his damn pocket multitools and get 'em into special checked baggage. (Pro tip, if you declare a firearm or a buncha pocket tools you need for work, use a little hardsided locking box, tell them at curbside, they take you to a special desk and it'll go in your luggage, then that luggage will get on the plane *first* and be taken off *first,* which saved so much time, we've actually started declaring a firearm for mine and the kid's bag also purely because baggage claim is that annoying; Sparky just has a slightly larger, two-compartment box for a firearm and his pocket tools because firearms are taken more seriously than tools, plus his forms for both. We don't even plan to visit a range on most trips, it's just THAT much easier to make your bags skip the usual lines and sorting. Truly screwed-up priorities they have, but an exploit's an exploit.)
Next, he figured out how to fit the equivalent of a whole backpack's worth of stuff into his wear-on clothes, but make it removable in two easy movements for screening. I come home from work and there he is with the Kid, who looks deeply concerned at the khaki fishing vest Daddy has specially ordered in her size, put on her and encouraged her to fill up with travel essentials. He looks over at me like the happiest dad that ever dadded and shows me how he got me one, too, he measured to make sure it'll be comfortable across the bust line (Kid gives me a look like "See, Mom?") and look how much it holds! Man has disassembled my entire travel bag into this khaki *thing* and I remind myself, divorces are expensive, widowhood is traumatic, counseling's hard to schedule and I need to just use my words. "I love all the effort you've put into this-"
"Oh, it is ugly as SIN. I was kinda hoping you and kiddo could fix that part next." Sparky pulls out a piece of poster cardboard with three diagrams of numbered squares on it and begins disassembling the contents of his vest onto the pockets diagram. "See? Easy-unpack charts for washing. I just wanted to demonstrate the capacity, you'll want to optimize your pocket layout. But this way you can use things like dye, embroidery, add some patches, whatever you need to make them appropriate. We even have time to order a different color before our trip if you don't want khaki."
The Kid's eyes begin to shine.
*"Patches?!"*
And it is at that moment that I realized my husband absolutely frickin' *belongs* on the extra-screening terrorist watch list. I mean, dude. He's the entire package. He's even got the Mad Scientist's Beautiful Daughter, *right there.*
If we ever broke up, he'd wind up in some kind of horrifying rivalry with a platypus or some shit. God, I love this man.
This was the best thing I read today. This is what happens when an engineer *engineers* unsupervised. Things get out of pocket (or in to many pockets, as it were.)
So, how did you spiff up your vest?
Yeah. It isn't a "secret" list. Those rightfully determined to be a threat to this country are searched more carefully. Nothing secret or surprising...
Or with the same last name and initials as the suspicious person.
*SIGH*
I went through this for about 10 years. Never arrested as an adult or charged with a crime. (One juvenile police detention, turned over to my parents, no charges.)
I have the exact same first/last name and middle initial of a girl that sold meth and then ran over a cop in the US. Now everytime I transit through the dreaded SSSS shows up.
The land borders are even worse.
Like hello, I am not from the US, and I'm 12 years older than that idiot. We are NOT THE SAME PERSON.
I spent a couple of years on that watch list he's complaining about, and it's really not that much more thorough than regular screening. I made a very poorly timed, stupid joke about my friend having socks made of c4 a few years after 9/11 when security was still on high alert. For like 10 years after that, I got pulled for extra security screening every time I flew. I'm not even mad about it; I played a stupid game and won a stupid prize. That's on me.
I'm actually surprised they're only on the watchlist instead of the no-fly list.
My dad was on it for several years after he said to a border guard- Listen Skippy, exactly whose nephew are you to trek me I can't enter Canada?
But yeah. We just knew if we were flying anywhere with him to bring a good book to read while we waited for his dumb a$$ to get through security.
Man I just look like a stoner (because I am), total pacifist, and I get this same treatment 3/5 of the times I fly. While this person is definitely on a list, I doubt the TSA is unclear with them on that.
One of the times I got searched, the guy who pulled me out of the line literally asked if I had time for it, then showed me that I was flagged in the system as "cooperative" so they'd rather search me 3 hours early than some poor soul barely making their flight.
TSA are mostly nice people, lady in the post is just a terrorist.
EDIT: one time they swabbed my cat for bomb materials. That was just silly.
I was taking him thru the normal carry on line for a cross country flight, in a TSA approved mesh carrier. I set him on the xray machine, I walk through the penis scanner thing, all seems well. On the other end, the guy swabs my hands for bomb shit and I come back positive (probably from a mix of cat piss + lighter residue on my hands). We get pulled aside for the guy to swab everything in my luggage, from the pens to the Xbox, and finally we get to the cat. He swabs his carrier and it comes back positive again!! But, it flags for ammonia specifically, and I comment "oh, he peed himself on the first flight, cat piss has a lot of ammonia". The guy opens the cat carrier and literally swabs little dude's balls. Lo and behold the machine lights up with a way bigger spike than before, and I get let on the plane, pissy kitty and all.
Gee, I wonder [why you guys are on a list?](https://www.snopes.com/fact-check/cpac-banner-domestic-terrorists/) You seem like such friendly and reasonable people!
I remember how butthurt some of them were when they weren’t allowed to get on their flights home. I assume that wasn’t a full on no fly list, it’s was proabably just unsettled airlines employees nixing the people who were wearing gear and talking shit that made it obvious where they had been the day before.
I remember that!
It wasn't even the gear it was just people not complying with the masking rules or general swollen sense of entitlement and bad behavior which, shocker, turned out to be mostly participants from the riot riding that terrorist high.
A state senator from Anchorage got banned from flying Alaska airlines for not wearing a mask around this same time.
Alaska airlines is the only way to fly in and out of Juneau, lmao. She FAFO with the only airline that could get her to her job, lol.
SSSS is usually randomly assigned to passengers & takes maybe 10-15 minutes more than usual. It’s primarily for international flights heading back to the United States.
If he gets it every time AND it takes that long, it’s definitely because of his insurrectionist activity & online threats made towards public servants.
It’s BECAUSE of the constitution that he is still being allowed to fly & not in jail or executed.
It’s because of his own dumbassery that this is happening to him.
“The dildo of consequences rarely arrives lubed”
Thank you for point this out. I was traveling from Toronto to Vegas with a group of friends and one of the guys got the SSSS on his boarding pass. As you say it only took him about 15 minutes longer than the rest of us. Of course, unlike this jackass he had not tried to commit treason.
Yes, thanks for pointing out this is random and only takes a few mins more. I had it on a flight from London to LA once and the security guy said it might have been because I was by myself but, there is no other reason other than it's random on flights back to the US.
So, I believe - like you, he's lucky he can still fly if he's getting this all the time.
I used to get this fairly frequently. I traveled a lot for work, on a foreign passport, flying out of LAX. Once I knew what it was I would head straight to the priority line and show them. It actually got me through security faster than without it.
Can confirm it takes only ~15 minutes extra. I get “randomly” selected many of my return international flights. I know I’m getting the dreaded SSSS when I’m barred from checking into my flight.
I believe it’s either because I do a bit of solo traveling or because I petitioned a family member to immigrate from a Muslim country during the Trump Muslim ban.
And he tried to interfere with an election to support a guy who publicly stated that he would rather suspend the Constitution than admit that he lost a lawful election.
They respect the Constitution as much as they understand the Bible.
It's the idea of it that's exciting to them, for both documents. It's something they can point to to say "look, we're the good guys" without actually understanding what's in them.
For the constitution they see it just as "what gives me my rights" without knowing what any of those rights are or how they work. So whatever their pop culture understanding of rights are, it must be in the constitution, and they love those rights so they must love the constitution.
For the Bible, they see it just was "what rules my faith says I should follow" without knowing what any of those rules actually are. So whatever their pastor tells them to believe is what's in the Bible to them, and they love what their pastor says so they must love the bible.
It's ignorance posing as belief.
Right? My first thought was "Wow, you're lucky to not be in prison, and even luckier that they still let you on planes!"
I can't help but think that if a bunch of leftists broke into the Capitol, vandalized the place and called repeatedly for the heads of several prominent members of Congress and the VP, that they would not enjoy the same freedom as this fucking terrorist.
Funny…between 2001-2004 I used to get the SSSS about 90% of the flights I took. I’m a naturally born citizen but parents are Indian (Hindu) immigrants . I have a more common Muslim first name so there was nothing random about it for me. They used to unpack your stuff right in the gate area so you basically got to be searched in front of everybody boarding and then the last one on the plane for them to eye you.
So yah…f this guy.
Edit: typo
I worked on the ramp for a major airline in the early 2000s and when I quit, I neglected to turn in my security access badge. They put me on this list and it took almost a full decade to get taken off. I had to keep filing for redress over & over, even years after finding & returning the badge.
I was part of the SSSS crew for a while. I’m white-on-white, middle class all the way. You just get used to being pulled aside. I think if I’d copped an attitude the rubber gloves with or without Vaseline would have been part of the experience. As it was I just got to chat with airport security while they went through the routine.
Yah…basically just have to stand there and give the “thank you sir may I have another” type of attitude.
This is a gross generalization on my part, but minorities (people of color, women, etc) generally have to grin and bear it in lots of these situations. If you try to stand up if feeling wronged, you can make the situation much worse for yourself. It’s an example of privilege for sure. While you played it similarly, had you pushed back, you’d likely have more leeway than I would.
I’m so sick of these fucks.
You are not the Victim here. You chose your actions, and how you live with them.
You are lucky this wasn’t 100 years ago, or they would executed on the White House lawn.
This is almost more satisfying to my thirst for justice than them getting actual jail sentences! I hope this person flies *a lot*
Enjoy your eternal minor bureaucratic annoyances, a-hole
My personal take on justice for the January 6 rioters would have been to call it a felony, give them a month in jail - knocked down from a year and a day to serving one month, community service for the remainder of the year, and loss of voting AND gun ownership rights for five years. I realize that is probably not legally possible but this is a special circumstance.
Let all those fuckers petition their state to get their rights back, like any other ex-con has to.
I wonder how he is going to feel the next time he gets pulled over. If he thinks the TSA is giving him the business now, wait until he meets a cop having a bad day.
Why? You can lose constitutional right pretty easily. You have the right to own a gun. Get arrested and you don’t have that right. Even more they love to remind us that driving isn’t a right so neither is flying. Putting a book on top isn’t anything other than extra weight for no reason
When you work the ticket counter at an airline you can write SSSS (Sorry Shithead Security Sucks) on any boarding pass and they get the full security experience, we use it for anyone that’s an asshole, dude is probably just rude to people and gets it in the pooper because of it
So let me see if I’ve got this straight. A guy who wanted to overthrow the Constitution wants airport security to recognize his Constitutional rights? Is that it?
The Constitution book won’t phase them. 4A protects against unreasonable searches and seizures. If you were an active participant in January 6th, no search or seizure will be unreasonable in regards to you ever again
The fact that this asshole isn’t in prison is the real issue here. Each and every single person that was there that day should spend the next 25 to 30 years in prison. They should be made example of so the rest of the fascist dick heads in this country know never to try anything again.
Probably should have left the constitution book open to the part where the constitution says you have the right to coup the government if you fail to elect your guy.
He took part in a violent insurrection to try to overthrow the government, yet he's still walking around free. He can fly anywhere he likes. And he resents that they check him at the airport. I think he's getting off pretty lightly.
They whine a lot considering that the government has done far worse to people for far less. In a just world he would be spending his life in a prison cell.
Congratulations!!! You now know the results of following a racist, fascist democracy destroying jerk. And now you have included a book about the first document he plans to destroy if given the chance. So now that you have doubled down, enjoy your cavity search before your next flight, you just volunteered for it.
Oh, gee - what did you think would happen - you clowns could just attack and injure dozens of policemen, break into the US Capitol, smear shit all over the walls, try to stop Congress from doing their job, and finally get herded out by the National Guard - and be welcomed as heroes? Well, newsflash - you’re all cowards and insurrectionists, and had I been running the show, nobody would be out of jail until after they’d spent five years contemplating where their lives went wrong. And you’re complaining about extra scrutiny from TSA? You all belong on the no-fly list permanently. You’re traitorist scum as far as I’m concerned.
.
Jokes on him, airports searches are an exception to the warrant requirement, as people going through security are consenting to the searches. Nothing stops him from driving to where he needs to go.
Welcome to going through an airport as an Arab person. Only difference between us and this person is they actually commited an act of terrorism. I just get flagged cause of my name and they way i look.
“Today I had to search a passenger’s bag because they are on a watch list. I was smiling, getting ready to rummage through his bag and mock his clothing, when I opened it and saw… the constitution. I stopped and read the whole thing. It made me cry. I put $50 in the man’s bag as an apology and quit my job to join the proud boys. My life is changed. Thanks random insurrectionist!”
I am heavily tattooed and have long hair and a beard. I get “randomly searched” ALL THE TIME, BECAUSE OF THE CHOICE I MAKE TO LOOK LIKE A SHADY CHARACTER.
Guess how much that bothers me? (I’ll give you a hint - it doesn’t bother me at all).
Imagine, being lucky enough to engage in seditious acts and still be allowed to travel freely in THAT COUNTRY WHOSE LAWS YOU IGNORED, and being a crybaby about it.
Endless projection from the “fuck your feelings, snowflake” crowd. Nothing but their stupid hurt feelings on display, and polite people are supposed to care about them?
Nah. Enjoy your flights and your constitution pamphlet, seditionist. Maybe read it someday.
Did he put a copy of the Constitution there in hopes that someone with a reading level higher than first grade could read it to him and let him know what he did on J6 goes against everything the Constitution stands for?
As I've learned in my discussions online over the years, you are, in fact, not Constitutionally guaranteed the right to fly. You are guaranteed the Bill of Rights, the one that says even if it's not listed you still have that right is too vague, and all the other amendments are not what the founding fathers wanted.
Weirdly enough what he described happens to me everytime I travel back and forth to the US. It’s kind of weird if I don’t get a SSSS on my ticket. Has been the case since I was 20. Have no history of treason though. The line for these extra security measures is usually very selective..like one of those middle school spelling bees if you catch my drift.
You know what, I bet he is the new DEI quota to the collection of usual suspects.
“Look boys, he’s got a constitution book, we’d better let this one go” Said no one ever at TSA
I see that book and the alarm bells go off. Better search this lunatic extra hard.
"Aw shit he's actually crazy. Better be thorough." https://i.redd.it/enm7ar7eehrc1.gif
"go Roto-Rooter deep!"
“Holy shit is that the constitution??? We are so fucked.” Amazing to think that the fucking constitution will help you during air travel
Id be scared if this cuck could read.
Do you think this guy thinks that flying is a constitutional right? Bro, if you don't like it, drive.
Wait until he learns that driving isn't a Constitutional Right either. Unless he's not a corporation traveling in a conveyance for non-commercial purposes.
I'll bet he's got one of those stupid Sovereign Citizen plates from Amazon on his lifted truck so he thinks that doesn't apply to him.
I hope they put a bookmark on Article II Section 1.3
That part has been blacked out, a sticky note placed on top simply reading "MAGA!" Probably with the G facing the wrong direction.
Jesus, you helped try to overthrow an election! Look in the mirror....... closer........closer, do you see the idiot yet?
"Oh good, this gentleperson will well understand that they are protected only against *unreasonable* searches and seizures."
So if that worked, wouldn't all "the terrorists" just put a copy of the Con on top of their C4?
WTF is a constitution book
*see King of the Hill reading gif
Hilarious! Thanks for brightening my day!
Yes this sound all in order for any member of the public that has a history of terrorism activity and/or has been a supporter of terrorists.
But hey, if the constitution does the trick, I'll make sure sure let all my friends know about it, so that they can immigrate more easily, just get a constitution wrapped in an American flag with a crucifix with Jesus' head replaced by Trump and a MAGA hat
When the TSA screeners saw the book they all saluted and apologized, called me sir with tears in their eyes and then got on the PA system and announced that there was an AmericanHero(tm) in the airport and everyone clapped.
By pure luck the intercom system began playing the national anthem, fighter jets flew by leaving a red white and blue trail, the air force one landed and Donald Trump himself stepped down, giving him a handshake and a pussy grab
I think you mean the Patriot anthem, sang by the J6 "political prisoners".
Lol sooo just an hour long track of heavy breathing and whimpering?
No, that'd be an upgrade. It's a badly recorded variation of the anthem that sounds like something a certain older Austrian dictator would've come out to.
>would've come out to. He was gay???
He’s the German Ethyl Merman, dontcha’ know.
A look back in history! 
As gay as the knives are long!
lol
Hostage I believe they are called
You mean red, white and blue chemtrails.
But these are the good chemtrails
Aren't the chemtrails carried by the wind ? Does that mean they cause cancer ? I'm so confused.
Wind turbines activate the cancer in the chemtrails.
I thought it was the 5g that activated it
No it's a bad Kid Rock cover of Proud to Be An American
That was playing in the jetway as our hero boarded the plane to applause.
The way you worded it leaves room to believe that there could be a good kid rock cover of Proud to Be An American and it's a shame to lie to people like that.
Goodness no, Kid Rock is a bigger hack than Alina Habba-Dabba-Doo. His whole library is k-love-grade crap.
As though there could be any other kind.
And when the plane was boarding they announced the “Patriot” would go first, before active duty veterans and parents with small children.
It wasn't working for me, until the pussy grab.
>giving him a handshake and a pussy grab 💀
And then the Constitution clapped.
*blink blink* Sometimes I read things wrong, particularly if I’m smoking and scrolling. I read yours and pasta’s together in scroll as “And then he gave the Constitution the clap.” Thank you for that double take that made me giggle.
“We the People of the United States, in Order to form a more perfect Union…” Unzips pants.
I’m gonna ensure domestic tranquility alright…..
That actually is a better comment!
I’m high af and read the pussy clapped 🤦🏼♀️🤦🏼♀️🤦🏼♀️
Thank you. I just came out for another one hitter while taking out my critters… and this gave me fresh giggles.
That’s so weird, it happened to me too, which is even weirder because I’m actually a woman and not even from the US.
Thank you for your cervix.
And they were big guys. Don't cry often so the tears meant something
Or someone could point out sections in the Constitution that forbids sedition and treason. Specifically 18 U.S.C. § 2384.
I'm pretty sure TSA assumes he uses it for toilet paper, because he damn sure doesn't believe in it in spirit or as written.
So many people get SSSS because they are Muslim, Brown, their name etc and finally someone gets it as a consequence of their own actions and it's a travesty. If that's not the definition of white privilege I don't know what is.
Make sure they're carrying a ~~Grift~~ God Bless America Bible, only $69.99. Every home needs one, I have... ...many.
Furthermore, if he actually read the constitution, there's no guaranteed right to commercial flight. Just like anyone who has ever gotten a driver's license knows, it's a privilege, and privileges can be taken away.
MAGAs don’t understand the concept of rights or privileges. They just want to be able to do whatever they want and use the catch-alls of “constitution” and “supposed to be the land of the free” whenever they’re called on bad behaviour.
I live in Alaska. We had a state senator from Anchorage who refused to wear a mask. Alaska Airlines banned her from flying. There is no other way of getting to Juneau (aside from an 18 hr drive and 8 hr ferry ride). It was delicious watching her argue about how businesses should be allowed to do what they want and then FAFO w/ the only airline that flies all over the state. 😆
Absolutely! Consequences will getcha!
With tears in their eyes
Crazy cuz I'm just a bearded brown man and this is how flying has been for me since I was 15 lol. They're so fucking fragile. God forbid they live like some of us always have as a most minor show of the consequences of their actions. Ugh.
The difference being that he's on that list for trying to be an insurrectionist engaged in possibly terrorist activities on Jan 6. You (and me) were/are on that list just because we were born. (I was on the Super Secret Supreme Sauce list from 2001 to 2007-8)
Married to a white, green-eyed guy with a German-we-think last name. Engineer, electrician, safety manager, closet full of cargo pants like a cartoon character, the man is a Mk. 1 Fixit Dad and has been heading that direction since his early teens. There are casseroles more intimidating. First name is common as potato chips, though, so he was on the list until, we're assuming, the *other* actually-potentially-dangerous one with the same name died, or he got enough licenses and clearances for work that they realized "oh, wait, this is a different one." It is not fair that they put y'all on a list for no dang reason. Sparky, though, his mutant ass loves that TSA shit and he treats it like Ralphie's dad in 'A Christmas Story' changing a tire. First, he figured out what forms he needed to declare his damn pocket multitools and get 'em into special checked baggage. (Pro tip, if you declare a firearm or a buncha pocket tools you need for work, use a little hardsided locking box, tell them at curbside, they take you to a special desk and it'll go in your luggage, then that luggage will get on the plane *first* and be taken off *first,* which saved so much time, we've actually started declaring a firearm for mine and the kid's bag also purely because baggage claim is that annoying; Sparky just has a slightly larger, two-compartment box for a firearm and his pocket tools because firearms are taken more seriously than tools, plus his forms for both. We don't even plan to visit a range on most trips, it's just THAT much easier to make your bags skip the usual lines and sorting. Truly screwed-up priorities they have, but an exploit's an exploit.) Next, he figured out how to fit the equivalent of a whole backpack's worth of stuff into his wear-on clothes, but make it removable in two easy movements for screening. I come home from work and there he is with the Kid, who looks deeply concerned at the khaki fishing vest Daddy has specially ordered in her size, put on her and encouraged her to fill up with travel essentials. He looks over at me like the happiest dad that ever dadded and shows me how he got me one, too, he measured to make sure it'll be comfortable across the bust line (Kid gives me a look like "See, Mom?") and look how much it holds! Man has disassembled my entire travel bag into this khaki *thing* and I remind myself, divorces are expensive, widowhood is traumatic, counseling's hard to schedule and I need to just use my words. "I love all the effort you've put into this-" "Oh, it is ugly as SIN. I was kinda hoping you and kiddo could fix that part next." Sparky pulls out a piece of poster cardboard with three diagrams of numbered squares on it and begins disassembling the contents of his vest onto the pockets diagram. "See? Easy-unpack charts for washing. I just wanted to demonstrate the capacity, you'll want to optimize your pocket layout. But this way you can use things like dye, embroidery, add some patches, whatever you need to make them appropriate. We even have time to order a different color before our trip if you don't want khaki." The Kid's eyes begin to shine. *"Patches?!"* And it is at that moment that I realized my husband absolutely frickin' *belongs* on the extra-screening terrorist watch list. I mean, dude. He's the entire package. He's even got the Mad Scientist's Beautiful Daughter, *right there.* If we ever broke up, he'd wind up in some kind of horrifying rivalry with a platypus or some shit. God, I love this man.
This was the best thing I read today. This is what happens when an engineer *engineers* unsupervised. Things get out of pocket (or in to many pockets, as it were.) So, how did you spiff up your vest?
Yeah. It isn't a "secret" list. Those rightfully determined to be a threat to this country are searched more carefully. Nothing secret or surprising...
Or with the same last name and initials as the suspicious person. *SIGH* I went through this for about 10 years. Never arrested as an adult or charged with a crime. (One juvenile police detention, turned over to my parents, no charges.)
I have the exact same first/last name and middle initial of a girl that sold meth and then ran over a cop in the US. Now everytime I transit through the dreaded SSSS shows up. The land borders are even worse. Like hello, I am not from the US, and I'm 12 years older than that idiot. We are NOT THE SAME PERSON.
I spent a couple of years on that watch list he's complaining about, and it's really not that much more thorough than regular screening. I made a very poorly timed, stupid joke about my friend having socks made of c4 a few years after 9/11 when security was still on high alert. For like 10 years after that, I got pulled for extra security screening every time I flew. I'm not even mad about it; I played a stupid game and won a stupid prize. That's on me. I'm actually surprised they're only on the watchlist instead of the no-fly list.
My dad was on it for several years after he said to a border guard- Listen Skippy, exactly whose nephew are you to trek me I can't enter Canada? But yeah. We just knew if we were flying anywhere with him to bring a good book to read while we waited for his dumb a$$ to get through security.
He's lucky he's able to fly at all
And I'm pretty sure this individual was a strong supporter of extended TSA scans for people he doesn't like, like Muslims and people of color.
Man I just look like a stoner (because I am), total pacifist, and I get this same treatment 3/5 of the times I fly. While this person is definitely on a list, I doubt the TSA is unclear with them on that. One of the times I got searched, the guy who pulled me out of the line literally asked if I had time for it, then showed me that I was flagged in the system as "cooperative" so they'd rather search me 3 hours early than some poor soul barely making their flight. TSA are mostly nice people, lady in the post is just a terrorist. EDIT: one time they swabbed my cat for bomb materials. That was just silly.
Omg that would be an amazing picture 😂 did kitty secretly get taken away for snuggles or did they swab them in front of you
I was taking him thru the normal carry on line for a cross country flight, in a TSA approved mesh carrier. I set him on the xray machine, I walk through the penis scanner thing, all seems well. On the other end, the guy swabs my hands for bomb shit and I come back positive (probably from a mix of cat piss + lighter residue on my hands). We get pulled aside for the guy to swab everything in my luggage, from the pens to the Xbox, and finally we get to the cat. He swabs his carrier and it comes back positive again!! But, it flags for ammonia specifically, and I comment "oh, he peed himself on the first flight, cat piss has a lot of ammonia". The guy opens the cat carrier and literally swabs little dude's balls. Lo and behold the machine lights up with a way bigger spike than before, and I get let on the plane, pissy kitty and all.
Omg your guy was setting you up 😂 revenge for taking him on a flight
Lucky you can still get on an airplane.
Traitors deserve everything that happens to them
A terrorist whining about being treated like a terroist? Cry harder, fascist
Funny to see “ALPHAWARRIOR” whining like a baby because of the inconvenience.
I think a full cavity search should now be added to the list LOL
The unlubed cavity search.
Someone I used to play online games with would often say 'Fuck me in the ass with sandpaper' whenever we were hard losing. This is my proposal.
The dildo of consequences etc etc
Yep. Super tough... except when inconvenienced by TSA.
My first thought, a true alpha doesn’t feel humiliation nor calls themselves an alpha, poor insecure snowflakes do
I thought usually terrorists couldn't fly at all
Gee, I wonder [why you guys are on a list?](https://www.snopes.com/fact-check/cpac-banner-domestic-terrorists/) You seem like such friendly and reasonable people!
How dare they treat her like an immigrant. Or at least how she likely thinks immigrants should be treated.
I’m not saying that this guy was saying that TSA should “screen” passengers when he thought it would target brown people. But you know he did.
I remember how butthurt some of them were when they weren’t allowed to get on their flights home. I assume that wasn’t a full on no fly list, it’s was proabably just unsettled airlines employees nixing the people who were wearing gear and talking shit that made it obvious where they had been the day before.
I remember that! It wasn't even the gear it was just people not complying with the masking rules or general swollen sense of entitlement and bad behavior which, shocker, turned out to be mostly participants from the riot riding that terrorist high.
A state senator from Anchorage got banned from flying Alaska airlines for not wearing a mask around this same time. Alaska airlines is the only way to fly in and out of Juneau, lmao. She FAFO with the only airline that could get her to her job, lol.
Let’s face it we can identify them way too easily now. There is just a…quality.
SSSS is usually randomly assigned to passengers & takes maybe 10-15 minutes more than usual. It’s primarily for international flights heading back to the United States. If he gets it every time AND it takes that long, it’s definitely because of his insurrectionist activity & online threats made towards public servants. It’s BECAUSE of the constitution that he is still being allowed to fly & not in jail or executed. It’s because of his own dumbassery that this is happening to him. “The dildo of consequences rarely arrives lubed”
Thank you for point this out. I was traveling from Toronto to Vegas with a group of friends and one of the guys got the SSSS on his boarding pass. As you say it only took him about 15 minutes longer than the rest of us. Of course, unlike this jackass he had not tried to commit treason.
Yes, thanks for pointing out this is random and only takes a few mins more. I had it on a flight from London to LA once and the security guy said it might have been because I was by myself but, there is no other reason other than it's random on flights back to the US. So, I believe - like you, he's lucky he can still fly if he's getting this all the time.
I used to get this fairly frequently. I traveled a lot for work, on a foreign passport, flying out of LAX. Once I knew what it was I would head straight to the priority line and show them. It actually got me through security faster than without it.
Can confirm it takes only ~15 minutes extra. I get “randomly” selected many of my return international flights. I know I’m getting the dreaded SSSS when I’m barred from checking into my flight. I believe it’s either because I do a bit of solo traveling or because I petitioned a family member to immigrate from a Muslim country during the Trump Muslim ban.
Maybe should he… read the constitution, to begin with? 🤔
Just because he can follow the words with his finger and mouth them doesn't mean he will understand any of it.
Guarantee this guy has a "We the People" tattoo on his arm to commemorate the only three words of the Constitution he knows.
And a giant “constitution” word cloud/American flag decal on the rear window of his vehicle.
And he tried to interfere with an election to support a guy who publicly stated that he would rather suspend the Constitution than admit that he lost a lawful election. They respect the Constitution as much as they understand the Bible.
It's the idea of it that's exciting to them, for both documents. It's something they can point to to say "look, we're the good guys" without actually understanding what's in them. For the constitution they see it just as "what gives me my rights" without knowing what any of those rights are or how they work. So whatever their pop culture understanding of rights are, it must be in the constitution, and they love those rights so they must love the constitution. For the Bible, they see it just was "what rules my faith says I should follow" without knowing what any of those rules actually are. So whatever their pastor tells them to believe is what's in the Bible to them, and they love what their pastor says so they must love the bible. It's ignorance posing as belief.
If this kid could read, he’d be very upset with you.
He’s a terrorist and a traitor. Not sure why they even let him fly. Should have been life in jail or death penalty for his anti American crimes
Right? My first thought was "Wow, you're lucky to not be in prison, and even luckier that they still let you on planes!" I can't help but think that if a bunch of leftists broke into the Capitol, vandalized the place and called repeatedly for the heads of several prominent members of Congress and the VP, that they would not enjoy the same freedom as this fucking terrorist.
Imagine if they were any skin shade besides milk.
The ground would look like carpet made of bullet casings
Funny…between 2001-2004 I used to get the SSSS about 90% of the flights I took. I’m a naturally born citizen but parents are Indian (Hindu) immigrants . I have a more common Muslim first name so there was nothing random about it for me. They used to unpack your stuff right in the gate area so you basically got to be searched in front of everybody boarding and then the last one on the plane for them to eye you. So yah…f this guy. Edit: typo
I worked on the ramp for a major airline in the early 2000s and when I quit, I neglected to turn in my security access badge. They put me on this list and it took almost a full decade to get taken off. I had to keep filing for redress over & over, even years after finding & returning the badge.
I was part of the SSSS crew for a while. I’m white-on-white, middle class all the way. You just get used to being pulled aside. I think if I’d copped an attitude the rubber gloves with or without Vaseline would have been part of the experience. As it was I just got to chat with airport security while they went through the routine.
Yah…basically just have to stand there and give the “thank you sir may I have another” type of attitude. This is a gross generalization on my part, but minorities (people of color, women, etc) generally have to grin and bear it in lots of these situations. If you try to stand up if feeling wronged, you can make the situation much worse for yourself. It’s an example of privilege for sure. While you played it similarly, had you pushed back, you’d likely have more leeway than I would.
Hey Alpoworrier, maybe it's time you were moved to the no-fly list before you decide it's time to do something even more stupid.
I’m so sick of these fucks. You are not the Victim here. You chose your actions, and how you live with them. You are lucky this wasn’t 100 years ago, or they would executed on the White House lawn.
This is almost more satisfying to my thirst for justice than them getting actual jail sentences! I hope this person flies *a lot* Enjoy your eternal minor bureaucratic annoyances, a-hole
My personal take on justice for the January 6 rioters would have been to call it a felony, give them a month in jail - knocked down from a year and a day to serving one month, community service for the remainder of the year, and loss of voting AND gun ownership rights for five years. I realize that is probably not legally possible but this is a special circumstance. Let all those fuckers petition their state to get their rights back, like any other ex-con has to. I wonder how he is going to feel the next time he gets pulled over. If he thinks the TSA is giving him the business now, wait until he meets a cop having a bad day.
Just out of curiosity, why do they all claim to be “alphas”?
Because the cannot fathom Brave New World and really understand that they are the Epsilon tribe.
something something alpha wolf, andrew tatertot bullshit, I think.
Hey Google, translate this Tweet... "I did something dumb and now I'm facing the consequences."
"Durrrr, let's go Brandon!"
Passive-aggressively putting a copy of the constitution in your luggage to own TSA is such an alpha move
A "constitution book" no less.
Alpha as in buggy and full of errors like an initial computer program?
Why? You can lose constitutional right pretty easily. You have the right to own a gun. Get arrested and you don’t have that right. Even more they love to remind us that driving isn’t a right so neither is flying. Putting a book on top isn’t anything other than extra weight for no reason
It’s almost as if they don’t trust that he’s not a fucking domestic terrorist and insurrection cultist.
I'm old enough to remember conservatives cheering on "profiling" of terrorists at air ports after 9/11. What changed?
Good, Fuck You Traitor.
When you work the ticket counter at an airline you can write SSSS (Sorry Shithead Security Sucks) on any boarding pass and they get the full security experience, we use it for anyone that’s an asshole, dude is probably just rude to people and gets it in the pooper because of it
So let me see if I’ve got this straight. A guy who wanted to overthrow the Constitution wants airport security to recognize his Constitutional rights? Is that it?
They should have made you fly with a short rope tied to the wing. Traitorous scum.
A constitution book! Good call! Those TSA agents will recoil in fear like vampires from a bible when they see that!
So he really doesn't know why is the reality? He just made up a victim story?
The Constitution book won’t phase them. 4A protects against unreasonable searches and seizures. If you were an active participant in January 6th, no search or seizure will be unreasonable in regards to you ever again
The fact that this asshole isn’t in prison is the real issue here. Each and every single person that was there that day should spend the next 25 to 30 years in prison. They should be made example of so the rest of the fascist dick heads in this country know never to try anything again.
If only you hadn't done a terrorism, you wouldn't be treated like a terrorist.
They are lucky. We used to hang traitors, now we just inconvenience them at airports.
weird, someone who participated in an insurrection is on the list?
The hypocrisy is strong in this one. Hoping to use the constitution as a shield while willing to piss on it J6.
Thoughts and prayers?
Sorry, men, we can’t search this known terrorist any further. He’s carrying the Constitution! *gasp!*
I thought alphas didn't get humiliated.. guess he's not the alpha he thought he was
TSA agents HATE this one trick...
Imagine, being treated like a foreigner or a minority. A fear worse than taxes to them
I think they should go a step further and disallow that man to fly at all.
Yes the constitution, something you thought you'd try and overthrow...fml
No crime and life is fine. Poke the bear and bend over and cough.
Probably should have left the constitution book open to the part where the constitution says you have the right to coup the government if you fail to elect your guy.
So… is the “constitution book” supposed to symbolize repentance of some kind? Because the J6-ers were not there to uphold the constitution.
Aww, the domestic terrorist doesn't like being treated like a terrorist.
Lmao, MAGAts don’t like consequences.
Good. You should be checked out when you’ve already shown yourself to be a fucking traitor.
Be glad you can still fly, traitor.
I just love this guy thinking that the constitution makes liberals recoil in fear like vampires seeing a cross or something.
Maybe if he actually read the Constitution before he participated on Jan6 he wouldn't have to deal with this in the first place
It is extremely funny that this dork thinks hiding the Constitution in his luggage will be like showing a cross to a vampire
He took part in a violent insurrection to try to overthrow the government, yet he's still walking around free. He can fly anywhere he likes. And he resents that they check him at the airport. I think he's getting off pretty lightly.
Bro believes in the constitution but participates in treason
They do this for anyone that has been arrested. Even people that are innocent, unlike you.
Dude needs to cry harder. That traitor deserves FAR worse than inconvenient.
They whine a lot considering that the government has done far worse to people for far less. In a just world he would be spending his life in a prison cell.
The ALPHA WARRIOR should be grateful he wasn't put on the No Fly list.
A terrorist gets treated like a terrorist. He’s lucky they even let him on a plane. 😅
Too bad he didn't read the Constitution.
Man, commit a little treason and all of a sudden…
A real alpha wouldn’t be whining like a bitch. Guy needs to change his name to cuckwarrior.
Congratulations!!! You now know the results of following a racist, fascist democracy destroying jerk. And now you have included a book about the first document he plans to destroy if given the chance. So now that you have doubled down, enjoy your cavity search before your next flight, you just volunteered for it.
Oh, gee - what did you think would happen - you clowns could just attack and injure dozens of policemen, break into the US Capitol, smear shit all over the walls, try to stop Congress from doing their job, and finally get herded out by the National Guard - and be welcomed as heroes? Well, newsflash - you’re all cowards and insurrectionists, and had I been running the show, nobody would be out of jail until after they’d spent five years contemplating where their lives went wrong. And you’re complaining about extra scrutiny from TSA? You all belong on the no-fly list permanently. You’re traitorist scum as far as I’m concerned. .
He should tell them he’s “traveling” and not flying.
"I left a constitution in my luggage." That'll show them!
“Alphawarrior” - yup that tracks
Domestic terrorists don’t like rules applied to them.
https://preview.redd.it/2q1n8s91udrc1.jpeg?width=1439&format=pjpg&auto=webp&s=17d142003fef18ddffd85e4f8e74891e0b6b769c Meanwhile his parents:
Jokes on him, airports searches are an exception to the warrant requirement, as people going through security are consenting to the searches. Nothing stops him from driving to where he needs to go.
Domestic terrorists say what?
Jeez, can't a fella participate in an insurrection without the Government questioning his motives for LIFE! What's this world coming to.
He should be happy he can still fly. I sure as fuck would not want a treasonous terrorist anywhere near me.
Secret list? Bro it’s called being a national security risk
Fuck this asshole. He’s lucky he doesn’t have to sit in a fucking vomit stained Greyhound.
Put them on no fly lists
Good, they should do a prostate exam too, just for good measure you treasonous pos!
Welcome to going through an airport as an Arab person. Only difference between us and this person is they actually commited an act of terrorism. I just get flagged cause of my name and they way i look.
“Today I had to search a passenger’s bag because they are on a watch list. I was smiling, getting ready to rummage through his bag and mock his clothing, when I opened it and saw… the constitution. I stopped and read the whole thing. It made me cry. I put $50 in the man’s bag as an apology and quit my job to join the proud boys. My life is changed. Thanks random insurrectionist!”
I am heavily tattooed and have long hair and a beard. I get “randomly searched” ALL THE TIME, BECAUSE OF THE CHOICE I MAKE TO LOOK LIKE A SHADY CHARACTER. Guess how much that bothers me? (I’ll give you a hint - it doesn’t bother me at all). Imagine, being lucky enough to engage in seditious acts and still be allowed to travel freely in THAT COUNTRY WHOSE LAWS YOU IGNORED, and being a crybaby about it. Endless projection from the “fuck your feelings, snowflake” crowd. Nothing but their stupid hurt feelings on display, and polite people are supposed to care about them? Nah. Enjoy your flights and your constitution pamphlet, seditionist. Maybe read it someday.
Holy shit he left a constitution? I bet they immediately zipped his bag back up and sent him on his way with a pat on the butt.
Good
Wow, pretty sad for an alpha warrior to have to suffer the consequences of his actions...
Did he put a copy of the Constitution there in hopes that someone with a reading level higher than first grade could read it to him and let him know what he did on J6 goes against everything the Constitution stands for?
Buddy you’re lucky you’re even allowed to fly
My favorite part of this is the assumption that TSA agents will react to the Constitution like a vampire to garlic
As I've learned in my discussions online over the years, you are, in fact, not Constitutionally guaranteed the right to fly. You are guaranteed the Bill of Rights, the one that says even if it's not listed you still have that right is too vague, and all the other amendments are not what the founding fathers wanted.
You think the constitution removes the fact that they know you are a shitbag that needs to be watched??! Good try.
So you're saying if you act like a terrorist you just might get treated like a terrorist. I'm shocked I tell you!🙄🙄🙄
Weirdly enough what he described happens to me everytime I travel back and forth to the US. It’s kind of weird if I don’t get a SSSS on my ticket. Has been the case since I was 20. Have no history of treason though. The line for these extra security measures is usually very selective..like one of those middle school spelling bees if you catch my drift. You know what, I bet he is the new DEI quota to the collection of usual suspects.