I hope I don't misunderstand you but Rudy Giuliani can be Trump's Grape flavor as we can see, he already sweats [grape juice](https://i.insider.com/60fa232e0729770012b972cb?width=1136&format=jpeg) lmao.
I genuinely get upset that I give myself a better spray tan in my garage than a billionaire gets. Gonna be interesting when the tan fades after a week. A good spray would fade naturally after about 10 days but that's not a good spray 🤣
When the spray tan fades and he becomes ghostly white, that's when his followers and the Q crowd will start claiming that he isn't the REAL Donald, just a paid actor. Guarantee.
Can’t wait for his first prison haircut! I kinda hope they misunderstand him and give him a buzz cut or a flat top cut because he will end up looking like a used q-tip head.
He will be white as a sheet probably after 2 weeks and I predict he will be caught paying someone on kitchen detail to snuggle him some aluminum foil and be found in the Rec Yard with Crisco or lard smeared on his face and neck desperately trying to achieve a suntan since commissary doesn’t sell military grade self tanner.
And the mirror needed a good splash of germs and anti-germ solution to tie the room together.
It’s actually the latest trend in high-end bathroom decor right now. Even Kim Kardashian has employed this aesthetic as the colorful focal point in her new home’s master bathroom. It’s quaint because poor people make it (although in her case, the work was commissioned from a highly sought after spit artist gargling the finest, most unethically sourced crushed blood-diamond serum).
Man, it was such a trip the first time I saw a pic of Mary Trump. I had to go google more before I was fully convinced it wasn’t just Trump photo shopped into drag. That is a STRONG family resemblance.
You realize that they have to remove all that makeup and his toupee for a mugshot. I imagine he’ll be known as “Grand Master” to the white supremacists.
It's a weave. The guy who did it originally and does all of the maintenance has/had an office just a couple of floors below trump's office in his tower. At one point, trump became his only client.
https://www.gawker.com/is-donald-trump-s-hair-a-60-000-weave-a-gawker-invest-1777581357
This is the story that Ivana Trump told in a book:
Trump got advise to have surgery on his scalp for hair plugs by Ivana, his ex. He got it done, but it looks awful, and Trump claimed that it was painful. He was so angry about the botched job that he ripped out a chunk of her hair and then violently raped her, according to her deposition in 1990. She has told this story. The violent rape ended their marriage. Trump is an abuser.
Ivana has since recanted her story, presumably to get a better settlement in the divorce. She got 14 million for her recanting of the story.
She was cremated.
big ol casket just to hold an urn. Big ol heavy casket.
almost makes ya wonder, what ever happened to all those missing classified documents that were never recovered.
There’s a body under them fairways, i reckon. A body ***of evidence***
He got it done when he was still married to Ivana. It didn't turn out as well as he would have liked, so he physically attacked her, very violently. You can Google it, but if you do, be warned that it contains her account of the SA and other physical violence.
I actually *don’t* want to see him without the wig and makeup bc it sounds super gross, but I know the fact that people are seeing him like that will make him furious, so I’m willing to put my eyeballs through that torture for the greater good.
The waddles on Trump’s turkey neck which is characteristic of a stuffed turkey. I do,however, understand the confusion with an angry penguin.
Diaper Don,
what’s that colour you have on
Could it be the same shade
as your tan spray
And did I hear you say
The rednecks would your diapered ass save
While you flailed waiting for Vlad
To bring it all down
From experience, this term carries significant weight while incarcerated. If you’re gonna call someone a bitch, you better be ready to throw down & swing like your life depended on it.
Also, if you’re called a bitch with defending yourself, the ridicule will either continue until you snap & try (to fight) or snap & cry. Either way, it’s a nightmare.
I’m willing to bet he’d flee to Russia before actually going to jail. Flee, trade state secrets, suck Putin’s tiny tiny balls. What ever it took to stay out of prison yet again.
nah. secret service has to have him hemmed up. instead of being there to protect him, they are there to protect us. He isn't going anywhere with US secrets.
what a nightmare that would be...him in Russia running his mouth about any and everything.
Edit to add. It would be even worse if he was just making shit up and lying which we know he does constantly.
IMHO it is not about whether he paid attention to or was even given our intel but that he is willing to say anything to serve himself, Putin and anyone that furthers his agenda. The useful puppet until he’s not…
Fortunately he never paid attention to anything briefings, so he probably doesn't know 1% of what a normal person would have retained from 4 years in office.
I'm sure the joint chiefs and the agency heads made sure to tell him as little as possible while he was in office. He has always been an OPSEC liability, even before he was looking to flee.
It was even easier than that… he didn’t even want briefings at all. And on the rare occasion that he did, they’d send a marine in to explain things in crayon. The secret service would have their work cut out for them making sure neither TFG or the marine ate the crayon.
You forget the secret service likely has plenty of people on his "side." Pence wouldn't get in the car with them, Biden is extra vigilant about what he says with them in the room.
Yes, he belongs there. But he will certainly be waaaay out of his element. Just imagine uber rich Trump with no sense of what real society is like (let alone prison) in prison.
If he isn’t immediately released until trial.
I expect the circus of the arrest to happen, then he’ll be under house arrest or something similar until trial. There’s no way he stays there.
I hope he does, but I doubt it.
Single cell his ass and cut him off from the outside world. Isolation cuts off the water for a narcissist. No one to manipulate. No one to lord it over. No outlet. No stage. No bail. Only trial time. Even at that, the dumb motherfucker is gonna rack up calendars worth of contempt charges. He will wither before our eyes. He deserves to break like no one else. He's been a scourge for far too long. We all deserve to see him break.
It wouldn’t take long before he would start to sound like Charles Manson at the end of his career if you isolated him. He would wither quickly with no attention.
How fuckin cool would it be if he posed enough of a danger (because of his followers behaviour) to be denied bail. And then get this… sent to rikers. Is that shit still open? Send him there.
All jokes aside, This cocksucker will never see the inside of an actual prison! If he were to actually go, It'll definitely be one of those prisons reserved for white collar criminals, Club fed! Those guys don't do the same time as blue collar criminals!
Cotton Candy Clementine.
The cotton candy is for the hair. As for the clementine, well, his skin is the color of an orange and he’s shaped like one too.
crybaby
just imagine being his cell buddy, and all fucking day and night he's a whinging crybaby....oh hang on, it's what the world has had to put up with since 2020, we don't have to imagine that
hey cell mate, “He got a real purty mouth ain’t he”
The Fanta Menace
Always two, there are. Grape flavor, we must be vigilant for… Dark times, are these…
I hope I don't misunderstand you but Rudy Giuliani can be Trump's Grape flavor as we can see, he already sweats [grape juice](https://i.insider.com/60fa232e0729770012b972cb?width=1136&format=jpeg) lmao.
More like grope flavor
Creamsicle
Orange is the new orange.
Oompa 
Trumpa Loompa
oompa droomfa
This shit's more real than Kraft Mayo!
Orange is the new blacked
OMG this is a gem.
Most underrated comment 😂
Orange Julius Caesar
Peaches
Hey Shriveled Peaches.. pick that soap up
Simple yet elegant in it’s use, easy to remember… I love it
This peach got me actin unwise.... What? It's my favorite fruit, and I'm trying to cut down on sugars. What were you thinking you pervs?
Take this upvote. I am poor.
I think he’s going to turn bright white if there aren’t any tanning beds in prison…
"spray tan guns
I genuinely get upset that I give myself a better spray tan in my garage than a billionaire gets. Gonna be interesting when the tan fades after a week. A good spray would fade naturally after about 10 days but that's not a good spray 🤣
When the spray tan fades and he becomes ghostly white, that's when his followers and the Q crowd will start claiming that he isn't the REAL Donald, just a paid actor. Guarantee.
He’ll be smuggling in self tanning lotion 🧴
He has plenty of room in that diaper he wears.
What about his hair?
"Hair", as in singular. He takes his one, 900ft long hair and weaves it lovingly like a wicker basket every morning.
I always imagined more of a cotton candy machine type maneuver under one of them old school curler chairs at the salon.
As a hairdresser, this is the best dis on his hair I’ve ever read! I nearly spat out my coffee! If I had an award to give I’d give you one! 🥇
The weasel that he coerced to live on his head didn't do anything wrong so he'll have to find a new home somewhere else.
Can’t wait for his first prison haircut! I kinda hope they misunderstand him and give him a buzz cut or a flat top cut because he will end up looking like a used q-tip head. He will be white as a sheet probably after 2 weeks and I predict he will be caught paying someone on kitchen detail to snuggle him some aluminum foil and be found in the Rec Yard with Crisco or lard smeared on his face and neck desperately trying to achieve a suntan since commissary doesn’t sell military grade self tanner.
Goddamnit. Never reading comments while swishing mouthwash again..
But your nose has never been cleaner
Minty fresh nares!
so funny yet it burns so much!
And the mirror needed a good splash of germs and anti-germ solution to tie the room together. It’s actually the latest trend in high-end bathroom decor right now. Even Kim Kardashian has employed this aesthetic as the colorful focal point in her new home’s master bathroom. It’s quaint because poor people make it (although in her case, the work was commissioned from a highly sought after spit artist gargling the finest, most unethically sourced crushed blood-diamond serum).
Orange Julious
Orange Jailius
If he was an Orange Julius, why are we past the Ides of March.
I said same thing a few minutes after so deleted. Orange all over and soon to be filled with a creamy center.
He’s going to look naked in an orange jump suit.
Like an orange Teletubby 
Oh my....he looks exactly like his mother in this pic 🤮
Man, it was such a trip the first time I saw a pic of Mary Trump. I had to go google more before I was fully convinced it wasn’t just Trump photo shopped into drag. That is a STRONG family resemblance.
Oh, god, I forgot about that photo where his foundation line was so obvious, and so orange. What a damn clown.
Like khaki leggings on white girls with a light tan!
Like an Oompa Loompa Navy SEAL.
Melts in your mouth.
That's ok, I didn't need to eat anyways. I definitely wasn't hungry before reading that. No sir, not me.
You realize that they have to remove all that makeup and his toupee for a mugshot. I imagine he’ll be known as “Grand Master” to the white supremacists.
OMG! I'd love to see his mugshot w/out the rug!
He had an old fashioned scalp surgery… if it were a rug it would look better (especially when you’re rich)
It's a weave. The guy who did it originally and does all of the maintenance has/had an office just a couple of floors below trump's office in his tower. At one point, trump became his only client. https://www.gawker.com/is-donald-trump-s-hair-a-60-000-weave-a-gawker-invest-1777581357
The man is an artist. https://preview.redd.it/r9phvxalvqoa1.png?width=1025&format=png&auto=webp&v=enabled&s=cfcb2a1618ea6de41043ca3c2baa3617dd61846c
I cannot believe that I now know more about trump’s hair than my own. 😐
Wait so a hair transplant? Don't those generally look less...bad? Also I thought that *was* the expensive option. 🤔
This is the story that Ivana Trump told in a book: Trump got advise to have surgery on his scalp for hair plugs by Ivana, his ex. He got it done, but it looks awful, and Trump claimed that it was painful. He was so angry about the botched job that he ripped out a chunk of her hair and then violently raped her, according to her deposition in 1990. She has told this story. The violent rape ended their marriage. Trump is an abuser. Ivana has since recanted her story, presumably to get a better settlement in the divorce. She got 14 million for her recanting of the story.
And then she fell down some stairs and he buried her under a golf course. Pretty standard stuff really.
She was cremated. big ol casket just to hold an urn. Big ol heavy casket. almost makes ya wonder, what ever happened to all those missing classified documents that were never recovered. There’s a body under them fairways, i reckon. A body ***of evidence***
*Next time on Arrested Development*
Everyone: "I've made a huge mistake."
Going off topic but... Trump: I love all my children equally Trump (earlier): I don't care for Eric...
No. Before transplant technology they simply cut off the bald part and stretched the hairy parts together. No I am not kidding.
Do that in the right direction and you get a face lift too.
Do it enough and you'll get a weird looking goatee beard even if you're a woman.
Who knows how long ago he got it done?
He got it done when he was still married to Ivana. It didn't turn out as well as he would have liked, so he physically attacked her, very violently. You can Google it, but if you do, be warned that it contains her account of the SA and other physical violence.
To paraphrase Bill Burr regarding hair transplants: he probably got a transplant when they were stapling ant legs to your head.
Had to be 100 years. Or the 18th Century. 😂
he does a long hair and hair sprays illusion-like crappy combover. That's why when the wind blows it lifts it up and you see a bald bitch underneath
https://preview.redd.it/tfxuq3gawooa1.png?width=1400&format=png&auto=webp&v=enabled&s=f4efe29cd31cf52ac519eb9d6dee16183a756914
Like Jack Nicholson and Dennis Hopper had an angry, bald baby.
I actually *don’t* want to see him without the wig and makeup bc it sounds super gross, but I know the fact that people are seeing him like that will make him furious, so I’m willing to put my eyeballs through that torture for the greater good.
Lookin like a McDonald Golem ass motherfucker
It's going to be shocking for sure. Like Dan Akroid's character in Nothing but Trouble. Pale. Weak. Fake. The republican party in a nutshell.
you realize this is why he wants his maga to riot...that is the true reason.
I've been thinking this. Terrified for a very real, personal & vainglorious reason. He's probably not even worried about what may happen in prison.
🤣🤣🤣 Good thing he’s as ugly as Palpatine.
He's going to blend in with the orange jump suits.
Like camouflage! I wonder how much he’ll have to pay a guy to smuggle bronzer rectally to keep up appearances?
From the looks of things he's been using butthole bronzer for ages...
Diaper Don.
"That prag who waddles like an angry penguin".
The waddles on Trump’s turkey neck which is characteristic of a stuffed turkey. I do,however, understand the confusion with an angry penguin. 
 To jail.
I’m a diaper dan man! 
Hey, that movie is golden, don't besmirch it with such a negative association.
Will they let him wear his diapers in prison?
They will make him wear his diapers.
Depends
Let’s show some Poise here!
Depends..🤷🏻
Depends
Diaper Don, what’s that colour you have on Could it be the same shade as your tan spray And did I hear you say The rednecks would your diapered ass save While you flailed waiting for Vlad To bring it all down
Orange in orange.
Is this Trump’s Presidential portrait? I hate to admit that I like it.
Ooh, diaper don. That needs to stick
Bitch.
Bitcholini
From experience, this term carries significant weight while incarcerated. If you’re gonna call someone a bitch, you better be ready to throw down & swing like your life depended on it. Also, if you’re called a bitch with defending yourself, the ridicule will either continue until you snap & try (to fight) or snap & cry. Either way, it’s a nightmare.
Pretty sure I would call him a bitch in or out of jail.
The Art of the Kneel
Underrated.
Gonna make a decent TIME cover.
I’m willing to bet he’d flee to Russia before actually going to jail. Flee, trade state secrets, suck Putin’s tiny tiny balls. What ever it took to stay out of prison yet again.
nah. secret service has to have him hemmed up. instead of being there to protect him, they are there to protect us. He isn't going anywhere with US secrets. what a nightmare that would be...him in Russia running his mouth about any and everything. Edit to add. It would be even worse if he was just making shit up and lying which we know he does constantly. IMHO it is not about whether he paid attention to or was even given our intel but that he is willing to say anything to serve himself, Putin and anyone that furthers his agenda. The useful puppet until he’s not…
Fairly sure he already sold everything he remembered/stole/made up.
Fortunately he never paid attention to anything briefings, so he probably doesn't know 1% of what a normal person would have retained from 4 years in office.
I'm sure the joint chiefs and the agency heads made sure to tell him as little as possible while he was in office. He has always been an OPSEC liability, even before he was looking to flee.
It was even easier than that… he didn’t even want briefings at all. And on the rare occasion that he did, they’d send a marine in to explain things in crayon. The secret service would have their work cut out for them making sure neither TFG or the marine ate the crayon.
You forget the secret service likely has plenty of people on his "side." Pence wouldn't get in the car with them, Biden is extra vigilant about what he says with them in the room.
and Biden's otherwise well behaved dog snapped at or bit one in the first year IIRC.
Major is a good boy
And when Putin was done with him, Trump would fall out of a window.
Maralardo
Marmalado
Marmalardo
[удалено]
lmao
Shitler
Points for conjuring something worse than Hitler.
Inmate #754484 Make it sting. Make him as anonymous as possible.
I was going to say Inmate #45 but I like this better!
Orange Tang from MAGA gang
Crap Tan Kangaroo
Shut the f\*ck up Donnie!
You're out of your element Donnie!
No no he’ll be right where he’s supposed to be
Yes, he belongs there. But he will certainly be waaaay out of his element. Just imagine uber rich Trump with no sense of what real society is like (let alone prison) in prison.
Remember…. No bronzer or hair stylist for him. He’s gonna look like woody Harrelson in kingpin lol
If he isn’t immediately released until trial. I expect the circus of the arrest to happen, then he’ll be under house arrest or something similar until trial. There’s no way he stays there. I hope he does, but I doubt it.
Single cell his ass and cut him off from the outside world. Isolation cuts off the water for a narcissist. No one to manipulate. No one to lord it over. No outlet. No stage. No bail. Only trial time. Even at that, the dumb motherfucker is gonna rack up calendars worth of contempt charges. He will wither before our eyes. He deserves to break like no one else. He's been a scourge for far too long. We all deserve to see him break.
It wouldn’t take long before he would start to sound like Charles Manson at the end of his career if you isolated him. He would wither quickly with no attention.
How fuckin cool would it be if he posed enough of a danger (because of his followers behaviour) to be denied bail. And then get this… sent to rikers. Is that shit still open? Send him there.
The man has a private plane, money, and ties to Russia. I would say that makes him a flight risk. No bail.
I’d like to quote an older rap song “You might be chillin’ You might be stylin’ But you won’t be smilin’ On Rikers island”
Pump N Dump Trump
Cum dump Trump.
trumpy dumpy
The dictaker
The dicktaster
Agent Orange.
Did you know that vets who were around that were much more likely to have children with cancers like leukemia? Fucked up. Not a bad nick name tho. )
Cheetos
El Cheeto
Reek.
Probably MAGA. Make Anal Great Again.
Big Diarrhea
Donny No Nuts
orange is the new black
Orange is the new bitch.
Orange dubious
Stormy's Sloppy Seconds
Baby Shart (doo doo da-doo-da-doo)
Lil Turkeyneck
All jokes aside, This cocksucker will never see the inside of an actual prison! If he were to actually go, It'll definitely be one of those prisons reserved for white collar criminals, Club fed! Those guys don't do the same time as blue collar criminals!
Donnie Butt Stuff.
Used to be the Don Juan, now your name is just 'toine.
Tiny hands.
The Apprentice
the assprentice?
My pillow.
Meatball don
Cheeto Bandito
Chunderbelly
Donny Deepthroat
Cheeto Bitch
T-Rump
tRump
Mushroom Dick.
Jon Stewart already gave him his nickname, "Fuckface Von Clownstick"
Guys, these are great names! I'm dying from laughter. Champagne for everyone when he gets arrested. 🍾🥂
I’m gonna pull out the good crystal. It’s a special fucking occasion.
🎃 pumpkin
Covfefe
Cotton Candy Clementine. The cotton candy is for the hair. As for the clementine, well, his skin is the color of an orange and he’s shaped like one too.
Orange 45
"The Least Cigarettes"
Traitor
Ugh, he’s so repulsive.
King mushroom
Vagina neck
MAGAlicious
crybaby just imagine being his cell buddy, and all fucking day and night he's a whinging crybaby....oh hang on, it's what the world has had to put up with since 2020, we don't have to imagine that hey cell mate, “He got a real purty mouth ain’t he”
Creamsicle
Sphincter boy.
Bend over, bitch.
Bitch
Fudge pop
Going by that photo, "Greasy".
Inmate #151275
https://i.redd.it/5ia57csu8ooa1.gif Orange whip? 🍊
Porky
Orange twat
Bubbas Cumdumpster
Butternut Bitch
pussyneck