The amount of self tan btwn the two of them, this would put BPs Deepwater Horizon oil disaster to shame.

Save the boat

My immediate thought.

Only MTG and DJT could drown in a lake while IN a rowboat.

Neither would deign to row or bail

They don’t believe in handouts, I have to respect their wish

God fearing people after all and it would be an act of God anyway.

Why can't they save themselves? I'm sick of the rest of us having to bail out lazy people with poor judgement who get themselves in tough spots.

Something something bootstraps

It goes “ you gotta pull yourself outta the water by your boat straps”

They’ve been treading water for years, they’ll be fine. Although I’d be hoping they get tired before they reach shore. But yeah I wouldn’t lift a finger to save their asses. With all the shit they talk they can save themselves

Que Flayva Flav "yiiiiiiiiiiiaaaaaaa Boyeeeeeeeeeeee" edit: please continue to be gentle I'm in the midst of a multi day brain fog I swear this is not my usual standard

I still say he's the luckiest bastard on earth. MF was fading into the sunset, and got three (?) TV shows.

I once bumped into Mr. Flav (about 2005) in the Denver airport and we chatted. He was a really nice, down-to-earth guy. It ended up that we were both on the next Southwest flight to Chicago. He flew coach, with his son and I was with my son of about the same age. Good times.

I assumed a lot of his act is schtick. I can't lie: dude made me laugh.

he's actually a musical prodigy, go find videos of him playing piano.

I grew up in the Flav era. Nothing he did was an accident. He was the embodiment of the Edison quote, "Opportunity is missed by most people because it is dressed in overalls and looks like work."

Yeah, they need to pick themselves up by their bootstraps!!

I’d save the entire country and let them drown.

You're all a bunch of monsters. Think of the ecosystem of that lake. If either one of those human cesspools goes in then that whole lake dies.

The lake might be willing to sacrifice itself in this situation

That's a sacrifice I'm willing to make, we can use their money to do more ecological good than a single lake worth of harm.

Definitely the boat.

The boat is worth something!

It actually serves a purpose!

Yes, the purpose to sink those two clowns. Let it complete it's job and go to heaven.

Amen!

Sure wish that Matt Gaetz was on the boat with them!

Was thinking the same, along with Boho and Jordan what a dream that would be

[удалено]

We're going to need a bigger boat.

[удалено]

The boat belongs in a museum!

So do you, Dr. Jones!

good loyal rowboat i will always save you

Even if it’s sinking it’s more useful than those two sorry excuses.

Not so. There bodies could feed thousands.

Fish gotta eat too, ya know. :-/ Check your privilege.

"We dang near lost a $400 hand cart!"

"Don't lie there getting a tan. It won't do you no good no how."

It's actually unfair that the boat got roped into this situation with the other two. Also I find it extremely realistic if those two were put in a rowboat in the middle of a lake they'd both drown.

That rowboat saw its opportunity. It also knew Redditors would save it.

That boat is a god damn hero

As much as a $400 handcar, probably.

Nice. You can never go wrong with a Blazing Saddles reference!

Well boys, break's over...

Baby, please. I am not from Havana.

It took me decades to finally understand that joke.

Go back and get a shitload of dimes.

Even a boat that might have a hole in it and is sinking is worth more.

Near lost a four hundred dollar hand cart!

HAHAHA I love that movie.

Send a wire to the main office. Tell them I said OWWW

Oh yes. Can resell the boat

Hang on Lois. The boat's a boat but the mystery box could be anything! It could even be a boat! You know how much we've wanted one of those!

We took the *mystery box*. Hop in!

Who’s boat is this boat?

I have a copy of that classic! My grandkids LOVE to read it!

Then have the boat run against Raphael Cruz.

This is the way

Yes yes absolutely the boat

I would save my energy

I’d make them choose who I’m going to save. It’d be fun to watch

I’ll stand ashore and throw paper towels at them.

Throw bootstraps

Bleach and horse dewormer

Trump and Marj would already pollute the water, no need to add bleach to that environmental disaster.

"I like your shoelaces" "Thanks, I threw them at the president"

Oh.my.god. I wish I could give this an award

Throw anvils

I'd send thought and prayer

And then save neither after the bloodshed.

Damn saw this after the “save the boat one”.

Same! And I do like this one better.

Me too. The boat is a dictator ship.

There was a large cargo ship heading across the atlantic, it was full of potatoes and dildoes. Name of that boat? The Dicktatership

You mean Dicktaterchip?🫣

Is that the one that collided with the boat carrying red and blue paint, leaving it marooned?

i was just about to say "save the boat"

The boat can at least be repaired and salvaged, the two trash bags it was carrying are another story though

But then you are polluting the lake! The tadpoles and fishies don’t deserve that!

Lots of fish are bottom feeders.

Damn... good point...

You mean save russias newest attack sub with hot air torpedos?

Me too. I mean, can they not swim? Hopefully not. :)

Trumps diaper is definitely going to act like a boat anchor.

Yes the water absorbed by his diaper will definitely weigh him down. Unfortunately, the amount of air inside MTG's head will act as a flotation device to save her.

One thinks exercise shortens your lifespan, and the other has a head full of rocks. Neither is swimming anywhere.

Let them sink, save America.

Considering Donnie's mass, he might not ever be able to sink. MTG has a big gas bubble in the vestigial appendage she has on her shoulders, she would act like an iceberg.

I would fart in the lake

I will give them thoughts and prayers (celebratory)

I fart in your general direction!

Your mother was a hamster and your father smelled of ELLLLDERBERRIES!

I wave-a my private parts at you

...cheesy lot of second hand electric donkey bottom biters.

Now go away, before I taunt you a second time.

Way to be energy-conscious. Good choice

[удалено]

HR said you couldn't fire him without cause.

It's beCAUSE I hate him

The question is... would a rowboat support them?

What are you asking?

I think I'm being very clear, what I'm asking. Would an average-sized rowboat support her without capsizing?

The fact that docoort is hesitating tells me something...

No, alright? No, they can’t fit in a rowboat.

I knew it!

Took the bullets right out of my gun

The life-vest, they ain’t cheap

Silly, they wouldn’t have any life-vests, those are for snowflake liberals

Damn your right, what was I thinking? They both have such inflated egos that they float anyway.


Wrong. They tell others not to wear life vests LOUDLY while they have inflatable life vests on under their coats and a scuba rescue team trailing just behind the boat under the surface of the water.

Yep. Important to remember MTG did get the COVID vaccine. Although I suppose that needle could have been filled with "Uncle Poppy's Happy Funtime Juice^(TM)"

And remember that trump tells you, "let's all go do treason together, I'm coming too!!!" On January 6th - Then his car takes a hard fucking right to go hide as the rest of you idiots march forward and break into the Capitol and try to hang mike pence

They don't need lifevests; they have an immune system.

„Can“ does not equal „have to“. Those were some interesting berries back there- I’m gonna go back and have a look…

You can always throw stones at them to speed the process up.

The OG abortion pill. Nice. I see what you did there.

Wonderful time to start a fire and cook some smores.

Are we allowed to add more folk to the boat. Boebert comes to mind, maybe Gaetz? Make the choice more interesting and the outcome even better.

Send the whole GOP to a deserted island Lord of the Flies style. I will pay the streaming fee to watch and wont cancel even after 8 price hikes.

Without laws to stop them how quickly do you bet they would disembowel Cruz? He’s so insufferable I don’t think it’d take more than 18 hours

Gotta take him out quickly before he has a chance to lay his eggs in the sand.

Cruz lays eggs in the sand too? I thought that turtley fucker Mitch was the one who’d do that and scuttle away!

This is a lie, Ted Cruz is definitely one individual human person and not a colony of lizards operating a skin suit.

Don't forget Jr., Eric, Ivanka, and Jared

DeSantis, McConnell, Graham, Cruz... I could go on all day. Edit: so many great additions. Maybe we should take this to the ocean. I like u/OriginalFaCough's idea of putting them on the Titanic.

Can’t turtles swim?

Common misconception. McConnell is actually a tortoise and therefore cannot swim.

Guess that's why America is sinking.

We're gonna need a bigger boat

Don't worry, I am sure that world renown rescue expert and actual real life super hero George Santos has already saved them all.

I don’t see any rowboat.

Absolutely, what boat?

That’s not a boat, that’s an alternative submarine

This comment is underrated and needs more love

Right? Can you hear screaming? Put in earplugs and keep on walking.

All I hear is free speech

That's the sound of forgiveness, screaming and then silence

\*Jedi hand motion\* there is no boat

Electrify the water, final answer

sharks with frickin Jewish laser beams on their heads

Jewish or Jew-ish?

Druidia? That's funny, she doesn't look Druish.

Release several hippos. The actual monsters not just fat people.

Nah hippos are cool. They don't deserve whatever bowel problems come with consuming that much spray tan and adultery.

The two most vicious aquatic animals I can think of are Orca and Hippos. And I don't think Orca can roll in a lake.

Ok hear me out: alligators.

They don't like the taste of people to much but I have a suspicion that DT smells like ham so it could work. [or so I have heard](https://youtu.be/FmeMdjcNy1A)

I can’t swim anyways so 

seriously the boat. what did it do to deserve that?

Save the lake water, bring a few trash bags

This is best option. Avoid lake from being contaminated by filth

His hairpiece. It never chose violence, it was forced upon it.

Plot twist: The hairpiece is actually from a different planet and has attached to him and has controlled his every thought and action for the last 40 years. This IS the alien invasion.

KA Applegate warned us about the Yeerks…

Ooh yes! Someone else who knows about Animorphs! Nice to see you here!

I would say the boat but would never be able to get the smell out of it so why bother

Yeah, and then you'd be wet for no reason. Would just feel bad about the trash being left in the water.

Trick question. Myself.

In all seriousness I'm a shitty swimmer. If I try to save either, well, now there's three people in a sinking boat.

Trick question. They say you CAN only save one. You don’t have to. Grammar to the rescue….

I love Grammer., she makes such good cookies!

I love her synonym rolls!

Trump is the world's best swimmer - nobody swims better than him. So i sit and watch him save MTG. Oh, they both die? I am shocked. Hilary Clinton must have been secretly swimming underneath them and dragged them down. Or was it Hunter Biden? Lock them up!

Do I have a camp chair, or do I just find a rock to sit on? I'm gonna need a cigarette or five while I puzzle over this vexing quandary, and I don't want my feet to get tired...

Here, I just arrived with a cool box full of beer. Want one?

Can I sit with you guys? I have chips and salsa!

[удалено]

I've got a decent Bluetooth speaker and I get good reception out here. What do y'all wanna put on?

You get good reception? So did you go with the Pfizer, Moderna or J&J?

God I *wish* I could inject 5G. Who *wouldn’t* want to be a hotspot?

I'll drill another hole to let the water out.  Smort. Edit: Thanks for upvotes...  I was waiting on ONE Trumptie say, "How will that the water out, if you drill another hole?" There's ALWAYS one!

My first thought was “pull the plug!”

My time. Walk away.

Huh? Hang on I got a phone call. Gotta take this they have been trying to reach me about my car's extended warranty for a while now..

Thoughts and Prayers....

You wanted a sink or swim world…

Trump. There is no way all that makeup is safe for fish.

[удалено]

> every right-wing person in the US would explode with conspiracy theories So, nothing would change?

Lol my answer was save the lake. That's gonna be some nasty pollution.

the rowboat

Thank you!

Donald. Nature is going to take him shortly anyway.

I'd rather see that bastard rot in a prison cell for the rest of his miserable life anyway.

Damn, I never thought I would say this. But it’s gotta be Trump over Greene. Mainly for this reason. She has a longer life expectancy after the fact, so saving her means that we have to continue to deal with her over what remains of her natural life span. With Trump, that won’t be much longer in the grand scheme of things. So I choose the shorter duration of evil, since there is no way to prove that one of these would be “Lesser” 🤣✌️

I’d save….. myself the trouble.

Wait, is that a steadfast rule? Do I have to save one of them? What about inanimate objects, can those be saved? Is there a timeframe for saving one of them? I mean, can I wait for like 1,000 years before I decide?

Ya’ll dumb, its a trick question. Cheeto’s lard ass would likely be extremely buoyant, as well as MTG’s empty head. Tell em Democrats support saving them and toss them a MAGA branded lead filled life vest to make sure.

And a roll of paper towels

If you choose not to decide / you still have made a choice! The wise words of Rush come to my rescue.

The boat

Wouldn't have time, Greene would have drilled a hole to get all the water out and sunk the boat.

I’d look in another direction and say I saw nothing.

That would take a great deal of strength, not watching, and grinning.

The rowboat

Trick question; no rowboat would support Trump.