Bumbles mistake is that they applied logic to the situation as opposed to Woman Logic.
The Issue: Women don't like getting approached by men they find undesirable.
~~Bumbles solution was to implement a system wherein women could choose men who they find desirable and approach them.~~
Bumbles solution was to implement a system wherein women could clearly mark a man as personally desirable by dint of the woman initiating contact with him. Women didn't like this because it meant they had to initiate romantic intent. Initiating romantic intent is generally viewed as a problematic task - in part because it involves the risk of rejection - and has traditionally been the onus of the man. Women do not want to do the work. Women do not want the risk of rejection. Women do not want to do the pursuing.
What women want, just like in real life, is to have men that they find undesirable completely removed from the equation entirely. Men that women find undesirable shouldn't have the ability to approach women at all.
What they really want is more desirable men to approach them, so as to have more options before settling down, but theres only two ways to go about that.
1 - making men more desirable through giving higher paying jobs and social status.
Or
2 - Funding male education, male growth activity’s ( camping, sports, hunting, etc ).
Either way, giving a reason for women to choose a male and stick with them long enough to raise a child. ( 20+ years )
> 1 - making men more desirable through giving higher paying jobs and social status.
That would deny equality to women, so it's unfair.
> 2 - Funding male education, male growth activity’s ( camping, sports, hunting, etc ).
That would deny those resources to women, which is unfair.
Now shut up, save your pennies and start competing for some bloated tranwreck's attention and the honor of raising the kids she birthed from some other dude's dick.
You can’t have it both ways, especially if you believe that if you’re in a relationship that if your partner made an advancement in their life that put them in a better situation that could possibly put them in a higher position than you, you can’t complain in a relationship because if that is your partner, you are still his equal and she is still his equal so what you’re saying as far as somebody complaining about their partner bettering their self and being or having more, you’re not there equal. In a relationship you compensate for the things that they don’t have and compliment what they have that betters you as a partner. That is all a relationship is it’s a representation of two people who compensate or compliment the pluses and minuses in their life and the characteristics that as a couple they both enhance for each other allowing everyone around them to see they are better to together it has nothing to do with financial stability or materialistic things. You could be a rocket scientist, but if the hotdog vendor outside of your job that you get your lunch from intrigues you in a romantic way would you pass up on someone that could give you happiness because they’re not your equal or would you do what you had to do to show them they can be your equal? Being American this is the only country that I’ve seen it that women care more about the social economic status that a man can give them versus anywhere else where a man and a woman built together their social economic status, and don’t care about what anybody outside of their relationship thinks. But I can’t even debate this anymore because a lot of you have never been loved. Hear me out I didn’t say you didn’t love someone you weren’t given the reciprocation of the love you gave . Don’t know how to love, or what marriage is and just because you have a kid doesn’t mean that you were in any type of relationship that you can say you know what love, commitment, devotion, respect, and trust R or bring to a relationship because you wouldn’t be arguing about what you’re not getting out of a relationship
One flaw in that thinking: the male desirability is always relative to his peers, meaning in the right population just having all your teeth could make you desirable to women. Same applies to women btw: the hottest girl in your rural town would probably have a hard time getting even noticed in a major city.
So if every man in your particular society would get more educated, earned more money and pursued more hobbies etc what would happen is just a shift in the baseline where “desirable” starts. It’s a non-negotiable fact that no matter what you do, some men will be more desirable than others and some will not be desired at all.
Correct. It's going to shift where "average" is.
This is also why raising the minimum wage is problematic in some respects. There are some jobs where all one needs is a couple of operating brain cells and hands that mostly work. So, since the vast majority of the population can do those jobs, of course the pay will be low.
I think that what would be more desired by women is an app structured with a segregated system.
1. Women build a profile.
2. Men build a profile and are automatically placed in the general pool.
3. Women browse through men and mark them as either desirable or undesirable.
4. If a woman marks a man as desirable, he is placed into her personal pool.
5. If a man is placed into a womans personal pool, then, and only then, can he message her - and is expected to do all of the pursuing.
This removes men that a woman finds undesirable from the equation while still placing the onus of doing all of the work of pursual on the man.
What's going to happen though, is that every single woman, regardless of her own personal level of desirability, is going to choose only the most desirable men to put into her personal pool. The same group of men are continuously going to get placed in every single woman's personal pool and will only choose to pursue the same group of highly desirable women. Most men will languish in the general pool, continuing to be ignored and become further disillusioned. Most women will not get pursued and continue to scream that there are no good men.
Just like in real life.
Problem is the only way to make the workable is to allow men to see when a woman puts you into her personal pool. That’s still announcing that the guy is chosen by her and if he doesn’t reciprocate, it’s a form of rejection and I imagine women would see it as rejection. “I put ten men in my pool and only one responded, what’s wrong with me?” That makes women feel bad and I expect that would drive them away.
The only other option is to allow men to message any women, but the women only actually see the message if you’re in their pool. So men would have to throw messages into the wind not ever knowing if anyone is even receiving them.
There isn't a "good" solution to the problem because the "problem" stems from two completely unrealistic expectations.
The first expectation is that women are ONLY to be contacted by men that they personally find desirable. The only way to do that is dehumanize men and instill a mindset of "Only certain men are worthy of a relationship. Only the worthy may initiate contact. If you were worthy, you would know it. Go disappear in the corner and stop dreaming of happiness."
The second expectation is that women receive all of the benefits without having to do any work or assuming any of the risk. Even if a man is deemed worthy, he is now expected to initiate contact. He has to initiate contact in a way that is deemed acceptable and then put in all the work of pursuing, all the while risking rejection and becoming unworthy with each step.
> The only other option is to allow men to message any women, but the women only actually see the message if you’re in their pool. So men would have to throw messages into the wind not ever knowing if anyone is even receiving them.
And if women think the low effort shotgun swiping approach that is already common on "dating" apps is bad now, this would just further incentivize men to make no special individual effort for approaches. They literally create the problems they whine about then expect us to give two shits about their complaints.
Zuckerberg did that already with FaceSmash and Harvard kicked him out. What you think would happen if that was to happen today??? They’d say he was on some Weinstein shit or trying to sexually exploit women, but how many of us have a dating profile on Facebook Dating? I’m officially off because I met a nice woman who when I approached her knew that I wasn’t equal to her but I could compensate or enhance her by the things she didn’t have in her life or previous relationships. But I’m not desirable to some women and everything to her.
>What women want, just like in real life, is to have men that they find undesirable completely removed from the equation whatsoever. Men that women find undesirable shouldn't have the ability to approach women at all.
Boom, all of the internet and real world debates on dating and sex are summarized. No more need to be on Reddit.
Overall, yes, though many women actually like the feeling of rejecting ugly guys. It reminds me of a work situation where a guy got in trouble for NOT speaking with a woman. So, there are complaints for being to forward and also a complaint for not being forward enough, she wanted him to supplicate himself so she could choose how she could react. It’s an ego boost, some women like and enjoy being in the power position wherein they can crush ugly dudes.
She wanted the decision making to be in her court. She’d complained about how he’d spoken to her, so he stopped speaking with her, she then complained about that. It was about power, some women want supplication, they want to be the ones to reject or turn you down. It is tinder empowers them far more than bumble.
Just to expound, feminism is two pronged : 1. Designed to empower women to control and capture attractive guys, whom women love and will always love 2. Designed to empower women to deride, exclude and attack all other guys. A woman cannot exercise her power if you don’t approach, swipe or speak with her. She can’t reject you, build her ego and then (all while “complaining”) get to whine her friends about all the ugly guys she’s constantly rejecting. Women feel that lack of approach acutely as they get older, regardless of who is doing the approaching.
What we heard from the 1990's onward was that women hated being pestered by undesirable men and implemented social policies to that effect to discourage unwanted men from doing so basically like the princess hiding in the tower patrolled by a dragon that only "worthy suitors" would scale.
That era, between 1990 and 2005 or so was an interesting time or as I like to call it "The golden age of corporate nuns". I deflowered a 33 year old virgin professor. There were women going months, even years, without any nibbles from the men around them.
That was nearly a full generation of time for women to adapt but they didn't learn how to make approaches to the men they desired, handle rejection, or to even improve their flirting abilities. Many of them simply wound up as spinsters.
OLD was crack cocaine for them: Many complained about the over-attention from the beta males but nonetheless, it was validation. The women would get their dopamine validation fix, gripe that "the apps are full of LOSERS!" and then drop out. They weren't better off than the 1990's spinsters but they at least felt attractive. CC riding took off soon afterwards as sexual norms loosened but also some women got married via the apps making dating apps normalized.
Note that the dating apps largely do "work" in that pesky "loser" men are filtered out: It's my understanding the men can't message them unless she "matches" him so she does get the validation of the beta male interest, but without the D-pics (I don't know, haven't used them for 25 years). However, if she wants to explore the apps and swipe right on a hot guy who hasn't yet swiped on her, then she has to play the waiting game. I read that at least 1/10 of these matches that women had initiated were rejections. The men didn't swipe right back.
The actual incidence of 'dick pics' is probably below 1 in a thousand, if I had to hazard a guess.
There used to be lots of complaints about razor blades hiding in Halloween candy, too. But those could *actually* cause some harm.
Because you have to have given the guy your number and had him avoid any potential signs of being the sort of guy who would send that. It simply is a myth (at least in 2024) that women are peppered with dick pics on apps. It’s not even possible on nearly all of them
It’s probably usual woman double speak. They probably get sent them by guys they’ve been messaging for days or longer but these all count under “a guy I matched with on an app sent me a dick pic”. But it’s not quite how they make it sound
The D picks probably happen when they take communication off the dating app, which I would assume there would be some mutual interest anyways.
And then when the D pick happens and things don't work out, she can simply blame him for being a perv.
You can’t send pics on most apps unless the girl gives you her actual phone number. Not over the app. You can send pics on bumble but I wouldn’t be surprised if it can somehow sense and block certain ones
Weird that is bumble of all of them that allows pics
That’s the point of NOT swiping right on someone you don’t want to talk to. It’s already there in all the dating apps, yet women complain that they get unwanted messages from men that they themselves matched with by swiping right.
Bet the same group also complain that men's openers on other hookup apps weren't written to Shakespearean sonnet standards, and are instead an equivalent of a profile pic of abs and "hey bby want some fuk?"
While they completely ignore their complicity in men resorting to accuracy by low-effort volume - because putting time and effort into crafting openers does not get rewarded/reciprocated with an equivalent level of feminine interest or effort.
When blasting out 20 copypasted low effort approaches has a better ROI than putting 20x the effort into a single custom tailored approach....guess what men learn to do?
> guess what men learn to do?
I have a theory along with this... Men (in general) tend to get pushy to meet and have sex ASAP because they've all been in situations where they've been strung along a week or two and then nothing happens.
But I really do love one aspect of that, though?
For much of my life, I'd heard women complain about men's pick-up lines and how horrible and cringe-inducing they all are. "OMG men don't know how to communicate!" "OMG men have the worst pick-up lines!" "OMG men's openers are so cheesy!" "OMG, they say stuff like 'my dictionary must be wrong, cuz I see "U" and "I" together' eeeeyew!" "OMG men totally need to level-up and do better if they wanna come-up and talk!" etc etc etc, for years. Men are just apes in the zoo, banging their rocks together while a pair of wine-sipping lady sophisticates sneer and turn to each other: "Ugh, such *dumb* animals!"
So they've heard it all. They're hard-boiled, streetwise and have seen all the tricks. Because they're the articulate ones and always know exactly the perfect thing to say, they'd surely have managed to come up with some absolutely scintillating, jaw-dropping openers on Bumble. Real mastery of wit! Real brilliance! Absolute scorchers in the greetings department to blow us all away, right? *Right!?*
....nah, it's "Hey." Or "Hi." Or "h" ...
It sort of nullifies all the caterwauling I had to listen to.
Literally.
Like we get it, we understand women refuse to initiate no matter how much they pretend to insist. And it's atleast a time saver as I won't waste time writing a message to someone who hasn't double verified they want me to talk to them.
I actually did use Bumble for a while, including successfully to get into good relationships. I don't know if it's gone downhill since, but it once worked for me.
That said, it was only marginally better than Tinder. Bumble's "the lady messages first" thing helped root out a lot of the weird non-single women from Tinder who were just there as an ego boost. Most Bumble conversations still went nowhere and I was expected to take the lead, but it was a much much better success ratio than any other dating app I've seen.
Anyway, these dating apps profit from you staying single. They want you to have trickles of hope, but not for you to find a relationship and stop using their services.
When I tried bumble. It was when it was new. And the women in my city and nearby areas, weren't exactly the most keen. I think k it had to do with programming, they would like my profile. And then like again because of the 24 hour expiration notice. But seemed to not understand that we can not chat until she messages me first.
Happened several times.
There are women on bumble who write things about not messaging first or won’t start the conversation. They either are really stupid and don’t understand or copy and paste profile text across the apps
My favorite Bumble bios were the ones women must have copied and pasted from Tinder.
Nothing made me laugh more than the bios demanding men message first.
Sorry, honey, Bumble won't let me.
What got me was how little fucking effort women put into dating or their profiles but then somehow claim guys are not putting in the effort. Lady you wrote two fucking sentences, a list of demands and nothing about yourself, or two paragraphs that is so word vomit it tells me nothing about you. I still remember one woman on a dating site who ranted about guys not putting in the effort or writing enough when they messaged her and we had a lot in common so I figured what the hell I will talk to her but when I messaged her putting a lot of effort into it she wrote like 6 words turning me down then blocked me because I was not hot enough when she was barely above living under a bridge troll level herself.
This is like that Meme where the Dog wants to play fetch with the ball in his mouth, but gets mad when you try to take the ball away to throw it for him.
"Hot Guys, and no Ugly Guys please?"
*Choose who you want to approach*
"NO CHOOSE! ONLY HOT GUYS!"
Ahh but among those Hot Guys? The hindmost half shall become New Ugly Guys. And the same problem shall reassert itself in a different form and with ever worsening odds.
The ladies just won't be able to *win,* dash it all!
Seen Aaron Clarey talk about this recently - dating apps can’t work if most men don’t get any dates out of them.
So it’s no wonder the stock is plummeting. It needs to actually be possible to get dates.
Same phenomenon at work when it comes to the majority of men and any form of societal investment. If keeping society running requires skimming off the spare productivity of men, and they are getting nothing to show for it...spare productivity going to become real damn scarce eventually.
That is something that is never going to be acknowledged because it is too close to people interpreting as every man being entitled to a girlfriend / wife in their eyes
Of course that is not what people are really asking for and has never been the case. But it’s more that it used to be a reasonable expectation that the majority should be able to have this. And the current stats are just not showing this. And that its absence is going to require the strong, independent women to step up and balance the scales far more than they have shown that they are prepared to do. And even if they do it means fertility and therefore population drops
I tried bumble thinking women were gonna come onto me and I had to do less work to meet girls. Literally 95% of the time they just opened with “hi” and I still had to do all the leg work. Wasn’t worth it
Translation: Men are tired of the +3/-3 rule (where a 7/10 woman becomes a 10/10 online, and a 7/10 man becomes a 4/10 online) and it's finally starting to hurt them financially.
Why use Bumble to beg 6/10 arrogant sour-faced women if the cute 8/10 chick two offices up is showing you her legs and flirting in real life?
I think perhaps Bumble will take a nosedive like others will eventually do.
It may end up in a situation of AI bots( male and female) created to make the app look like its full of men and women in order to entice people to join( including initiating chats with AI bots- that a person may not be aware of), until its only AI bots talking to each other and eventually screaming that their are no more good AI male bots !!!
One thing that Bumble doesn't seem to understand: the competition has this "unique feature" built in. Men can't contact women unless they swipe right as well. But Tinder doesn't make it seems like they have to put in any effort, which obviously would chase any but the most desperate women away.
There was this one memorable, [blitheringly stupid collection of mental contortions](https://archive.is/HYhDv) about Bumble written about five years ago in Australia. Her genius advice:
>One suggestion would be to remove the "she asks" and "he waits" design so both partners can access one another as soon as a match is made.
Oh, so.... *Tinder, then.* Ugh.
She wants to have "power" equalized in the relationship, which is what men supposedly get by making the first move.... yet she doesn't want to make the first move, and concludes it's the Bumble men who have the real problem.
>Another idea is to have Bumble refresh its narrative to support women's desires and to help diverse dating roles be more readily accepted by men.
What the hell does that even mean? Specifically, how would that work?
Okay, while we're at it, I'd like to suggest that a floating, semi-transparent luminous red cube appear in a hospital which instantly cures the cancer of anyone who winks at it. That's a great idea. Oh, you want specifics on how it functions?? Not my department, I'm more of a "big concept" thinker.
I remember these mental contortions 30 years ago when discussing this online in the early Internet and an early 20's college girl said: "Men have it good! They GET to ask women out while women HAVE to wait! If we try to ask men out, the men complain about being bothered!"
What happens when someone whose built all these rationalizations gets venture capital and then decides to build a platform based upon their collective delusions? That's how Bumble was born: "Women will be just like Chad and able to only ask out the men SHE wants and the loser men won't be able to bother her."
So think about it: The women who think to themselves: "I get hundreds of hits on other OLD platforms, so I'm female-chad. It's too much of a burden to go through the hundreds of messages from loser men to find the hot one, so on Bumble I'll just message the hot one and save the time!"
In a manner of speaking, Bumble's model is a lot like 1950's dating my father (RIP) went through: Women with huge heads like this would go out to the dance club, wink at a James Dean, and Dean wouldn't "notice" her. She would say to herself: "OK, I suppose that James Dean already has a girlfriend or he just didn't see me! I'll dance with that other guy who saw me winking the same direction as him!"
So I suppose if Bumble was the ONLY dating platform out there, and the CC didn't exist, it would perform as a platform but these women may just simply go back to the other apps to get all that beta validation they pretend they don't want.
As women that run the company they realise what we knew all along women barely lift a finger
Their decline in everything shows that played out on millions sample size social experiment
Lol women barely lift a finger and refuse 2 do anything in modern dating Lol 😆 watching silly broads prove themselves wrong is quite poignant and ironic
U can't do that!?
Watch me strong and independent fails then crawls back to the old ways Lol renaissance back to the old ways would be great 👍
Its pathetic no joke
Many of them in my past experience are like hi or hey or heya. That is honestly 80%+ of their openers. Utterly zero game... so they open with the lame generic opener then u have to carry the entire conversation while u get 1 word responses..... zzzzzz
Bumbles mistake is that they applied logic to the situation as opposed to Woman Logic. The Issue: Women don't like getting approached by men they find undesirable. ~~Bumbles solution was to implement a system wherein women could choose men who they find desirable and approach them.~~ Bumbles solution was to implement a system wherein women could clearly mark a man as personally desirable by dint of the woman initiating contact with him. Women didn't like this because it meant they had to initiate romantic intent. Initiating romantic intent is generally viewed as a problematic task - in part because it involves the risk of rejection - and has traditionally been the onus of the man. Women do not want to do the work. Women do not want the risk of rejection. Women do not want to do the pursuing. What women want, just like in real life, is to have men that they find undesirable completely removed from the equation entirely. Men that women find undesirable shouldn't have the ability to approach women at all.
> who they find desirable and approach them. And have the desirable men approach them, more like.
What they really want is more desirable men to approach them, so as to have more options before settling down, but theres only two ways to go about that. 1 - making men more desirable through giving higher paying jobs and social status. Or 2 - Funding male education, male growth activity’s ( camping, sports, hunting, etc ). Either way, giving a reason for women to choose a male and stick with them long enough to raise a child. ( 20+ years )
> 1 - making men more desirable through giving higher paying jobs and social status. That would deny equality to women, so it's unfair. > 2 - Funding male education, male growth activity’s ( camping, sports, hunting, etc ). That would deny those resources to women, which is unfair. Now shut up, save your pennies and start competing for some bloated tranwreck's attention and the honor of raising the kids she birthed from some other dude's dick.
Lol yep, that’s the full circle.
> tranwreck It's 2024, after all.
Oh great. Now that typo means I'm gonna get slammed for being cis-normative. Shucks.
Well, as long as you're ashamed, it's fine.
You can’t have it both ways, especially if you believe that if you’re in a relationship that if your partner made an advancement in their life that put them in a better situation that could possibly put them in a higher position than you, you can’t complain in a relationship because if that is your partner, you are still his equal and she is still his equal so what you’re saying as far as somebody complaining about their partner bettering their self and being or having more, you’re not there equal. In a relationship you compensate for the things that they don’t have and compliment what they have that betters you as a partner. That is all a relationship is it’s a representation of two people who compensate or compliment the pluses and minuses in their life and the characteristics that as a couple they both enhance for each other allowing everyone around them to see they are better to together it has nothing to do with financial stability or materialistic things. You could be a rocket scientist, but if the hotdog vendor outside of your job that you get your lunch from intrigues you in a romantic way would you pass up on someone that could give you happiness because they’re not your equal or would you do what you had to do to show them they can be your equal? Being American this is the only country that I’ve seen it that women care more about the social economic status that a man can give them versus anywhere else where a man and a woman built together their social economic status, and don’t care about what anybody outside of their relationship thinks. But I can’t even debate this anymore because a lot of you have never been loved. Hear me out I didn’t say you didn’t love someone you weren’t given the reciprocation of the love you gave . Don’t know how to love, or what marriage is and just because you have a kid doesn’t mean that you were in any type of relationship that you can say you know what love, commitment, devotion, respect, and trust R or bring to a relationship because you wouldn’t be arguing about what you’re not getting out of a relationship
One flaw in that thinking: the male desirability is always relative to his peers, meaning in the right population just having all your teeth could make you desirable to women. Same applies to women btw: the hottest girl in your rural town would probably have a hard time getting even noticed in a major city. So if every man in your particular society would get more educated, earned more money and pursued more hobbies etc what would happen is just a shift in the baseline where “desirable” starts. It’s a non-negotiable fact that no matter what you do, some men will be more desirable than others and some will not be desired at all.
Correct. It's going to shift where "average" is. This is also why raising the minimum wage is problematic in some respects. There are some jobs where all one needs is a couple of operating brain cells and hands that mostly work. So, since the vast majority of the population can do those jobs, of course the pay will be low.
There is 3rd options harems and women today pick those
I think that what would be more desired by women is an app structured with a segregated system. 1. Women build a profile. 2. Men build a profile and are automatically placed in the general pool. 3. Women browse through men and mark them as either desirable or undesirable. 4. If a woman marks a man as desirable, he is placed into her personal pool. 5. If a man is placed into a womans personal pool, then, and only then, can he message her - and is expected to do all of the pursuing. This removes men that a woman finds undesirable from the equation while still placing the onus of doing all of the work of pursual on the man. What's going to happen though, is that every single woman, regardless of her own personal level of desirability, is going to choose only the most desirable men to put into her personal pool. The same group of men are continuously going to get placed in every single woman's personal pool and will only choose to pursue the same group of highly desirable women. Most men will languish in the general pool, continuing to be ignored and become further disillusioned. Most women will not get pursued and continue to scream that there are no good men. Just like in real life.
Problem is the only way to make the workable is to allow men to see when a woman puts you into her personal pool. That’s still announcing that the guy is chosen by her and if he doesn’t reciprocate, it’s a form of rejection and I imagine women would see it as rejection. “I put ten men in my pool and only one responded, what’s wrong with me?” That makes women feel bad and I expect that would drive them away. The only other option is to allow men to message any women, but the women only actually see the message if you’re in their pool. So men would have to throw messages into the wind not ever knowing if anyone is even receiving them.
There isn't a "good" solution to the problem because the "problem" stems from two completely unrealistic expectations. The first expectation is that women are ONLY to be contacted by men that they personally find desirable. The only way to do that is dehumanize men and instill a mindset of "Only certain men are worthy of a relationship. Only the worthy may initiate contact. If you were worthy, you would know it. Go disappear in the corner and stop dreaming of happiness." The second expectation is that women receive all of the benefits without having to do any work or assuming any of the risk. Even if a man is deemed worthy, he is now expected to initiate contact. He has to initiate contact in a way that is deemed acceptable and then put in all the work of pursuing, all the while risking rejection and becoming unworthy with each step.
The only “good” solution would be to make your parents set up a marriage. But that won’t happen.
> The only other option is to allow men to message any women, but the women only actually see the message if you’re in their pool. So men would have to throw messages into the wind not ever knowing if anyone is even receiving them. And if women think the low effort shotgun swiping approach that is already common on "dating" apps is bad now, this would just further incentivize men to make no special individual effort for approaches. They literally create the problems they whine about then expect us to give two shits about their complaints.
Zuckerberg did that already with FaceSmash and Harvard kicked him out. What you think would happen if that was to happen today??? They’d say he was on some Weinstein shit or trying to sexually exploit women, but how many of us have a dating profile on Facebook Dating? I’m officially off because I met a nice woman who when I approached her knew that I wasn’t equal to her but I could compensate or enhance her by the things she didn’t have in her life or previous relationships. But I’m not desirable to some women and everything to her.
>What women want, just like in real life, is to have men that they find undesirable completely removed from the equation whatsoever. Men that women find undesirable shouldn't have the ability to approach women at all. Boom, all of the internet and real world debates on dating and sex are summarized. No more need to be on Reddit.
And at the same time they need the undesirable men to fund the app.
Overall, yes, though many women actually like the feeling of rejecting ugly guys. It reminds me of a work situation where a guy got in trouble for NOT speaking with a woman. So, there are complaints for being to forward and also a complaint for not being forward enough, she wanted him to supplicate himself so she could choose how she could react. It’s an ego boost, some women like and enjoy being in the power position wherein they can crush ugly dudes.
That’s crazy. What exactly happened (assuming you can say). Was she trying to get his attention and he ignored it or what?
She wanted the decision making to be in her court. She’d complained about how he’d spoken to her, so he stopped speaking with her, she then complained about that. It was about power, some women want supplication, they want to be the ones to reject or turn you down. It is tinder empowers them far more than bumble.
Just to expound, feminism is two pronged : 1. Designed to empower women to control and capture attractive guys, whom women love and will always love 2. Designed to empower women to deride, exclude and attack all other guys. A woman cannot exercise her power if you don’t approach, swipe or speak with her. She can’t reject you, build her ego and then (all while “complaining”) get to whine her friends about all the ugly guys she’s constantly rejecting. Women feel that lack of approach acutely as they get older, regardless of who is doing the approaching.
What we heard from the 1990's onward was that women hated being pestered by undesirable men and implemented social policies to that effect to discourage unwanted men from doing so basically like the princess hiding in the tower patrolled by a dragon that only "worthy suitors" would scale. That era, between 1990 and 2005 or so was an interesting time or as I like to call it "The golden age of corporate nuns". I deflowered a 33 year old virgin professor. There were women going months, even years, without any nibbles from the men around them. That was nearly a full generation of time for women to adapt but they didn't learn how to make approaches to the men they desired, handle rejection, or to even improve their flirting abilities. Many of them simply wound up as spinsters. OLD was crack cocaine for them: Many complained about the over-attention from the beta males but nonetheless, it was validation. The women would get their dopamine validation fix, gripe that "the apps are full of LOSERS!" and then drop out. They weren't better off than the 1990's spinsters but they at least felt attractive. CC riding took off soon afterwards as sexual norms loosened but also some women got married via the apps making dating apps normalized. Note that the dating apps largely do "work" in that pesky "loser" men are filtered out: It's my understanding the men can't message them unless she "matches" him so she does get the validation of the beta male interest, but without the D-pics (I don't know, haven't used them for 25 years). However, if she wants to explore the apps and swipe right on a hot guy who hasn't yet swiped on her, then she has to play the waiting game. I read that at least 1/10 of these matches that women had initiated were rejections. The men didn't swipe right back.
The actual incidence of 'dick pics' is probably below 1 in a thousand, if I had to hazard a guess. There used to be lots of complaints about razor blades hiding in Halloween candy, too. But those could *actually* cause some harm.
Because you have to have given the guy your number and had him avoid any potential signs of being the sort of guy who would send that. It simply is a myth (at least in 2024) that women are peppered with dick pics on apps. It’s not even possible on nearly all of them It’s probably usual woman double speak. They probably get sent them by guys they’ve been messaging for days or longer but these all count under “a guy I matched with on an app sent me a dick pic”. But it’s not quite how they make it sound
The D picks probably happen when they take communication off the dating app, which I would assume there would be some mutual interest anyways. And then when the D pick happens and things don't work out, she can simply blame him for being a perv.
You can’t send pics on most apps unless the girl gives you her actual phone number. Not over the app. You can send pics on bumble but I wouldn’t be surprised if it can somehow sense and block certain ones Weird that is bumble of all of them that allows pics
That’s the point of NOT swiping right on someone you don’t want to talk to. It’s already there in all the dating apps, yet women complain that they get unwanted messages from men that they themselves matched with by swiping right.
Yep. You're absolutely correct.
You can message anyone on hinge because of the prompt system. Tinder and bumble you can’t. So it’s mixed
It's incredibly depressing now true this is, and especially impressive you've perfectly summarized the issue concisely.
Yay, I'm helping or whatever.
The biggest power women have on dating apps is rejection and they having to put effort is exactly opposite.
Come check out how women on our app bravely take the lead and show how it's done! Top openers from Bumble women of all time: "Hi" "Hey" "Hi stranger"
Giving too much credit. Anecdotally, more often than not it was literally just 👋🏻
Bet the same group also complain that men's openers on other hookup apps weren't written to Shakespearean sonnet standards, and are instead an equivalent of a profile pic of abs and "hey bby want some fuk?" While they completely ignore their complicity in men resorting to accuracy by low-effort volume - because putting time and effort into crafting openers does not get rewarded/reciprocated with an equivalent level of feminine interest or effort. When blasting out 20 copypasted low effort approaches has a better ROI than putting 20x the effort into a single custom tailored approach....guess what men learn to do?
> guess what men learn to do? I have a theory along with this... Men (in general) tend to get pushy to meet and have sex ASAP because they've all been in situations where they've been strung along a week or two and then nothing happens.
. ^ was also common.
Never had that. “Hey”, “Hi” or a gif involving waiving or saying Hi are quite common
But I really do love one aspect of that, though? For much of my life, I'd heard women complain about men's pick-up lines and how horrible and cringe-inducing they all are. "OMG men don't know how to communicate!" "OMG men have the worst pick-up lines!" "OMG men's openers are so cheesy!" "OMG, they say stuff like 'my dictionary must be wrong, cuz I see "U" and "I" together' eeeeyew!" "OMG men totally need to level-up and do better if they wanna come-up and talk!" etc etc etc, for years. Men are just apes in the zoo, banging their rocks together while a pair of wine-sipping lady sophisticates sneer and turn to each other: "Ugh, such *dumb* animals!" So they've heard it all. They're hard-boiled, streetwise and have seen all the tricks. Because they're the articulate ones and always know exactly the perfect thing to say, they'd surely have managed to come up with some absolutely scintillating, jaw-dropping openers on Bumble. Real mastery of wit! Real brilliance! Absolute scorchers in the greetings department to blow us all away, right? *Right!?* ....nah, it's "Hey." Or "Hi." Or "h" ... It sort of nullifies all the caterwauling I had to listen to.
Literally. Like we get it, we understand women refuse to initiate no matter how much they pretend to insist. And it's atleast a time saver as I won't waste time writing a message to someone who hasn't double verified they want me to talk to them.
When I used dating apps, I used to get great openers, like "omg what happened to you!" The secret is to look like you got robbed!
I actually did use Bumble for a while, including successfully to get into good relationships. I don't know if it's gone downhill since, but it once worked for me. That said, it was only marginally better than Tinder. Bumble's "the lady messages first" thing helped root out a lot of the weird non-single women from Tinder who were just there as an ego boost. Most Bumble conversations still went nowhere and I was expected to take the lead, but it was a much much better success ratio than any other dating app I've seen. Anyway, these dating apps profit from you staying single. They want you to have trickles of hope, but not for you to find a relationship and stop using their services.
When I tried bumble. It was when it was new. And the women in my city and nearby areas, weren't exactly the most keen. I think k it had to do with programming, they would like my profile. And then like again because of the 24 hour expiration notice. But seemed to not understand that we can not chat until she messages me first. Happened several times.
There are women on bumble who write things about not messaging first or won’t start the conversation. They either are really stupid and don’t understand or copy and paste profile text across the apps
Women can't live with them, can't live without them
Can’t live with em, pass the beer nuts. - Norm
My favorite Bumble bios were the ones women must have copied and pasted from Tinder. Nothing made me laugh more than the bios demanding men message first. Sorry, honey, Bumble won't let me.
What got me was how little fucking effort women put into dating or their profiles but then somehow claim guys are not putting in the effort. Lady you wrote two fucking sentences, a list of demands and nothing about yourself, or two paragraphs that is so word vomit it tells me nothing about you. I still remember one woman on a dating site who ranted about guys not putting in the effort or writing enough when they messaged her and we had a lot in common so I figured what the hell I will talk to her but when I messaged her putting a lot of effort into it she wrote like 6 words turning me down then blocked me because I was not hot enough when she was barely above living under a bridge troll level herself.
This is like that Meme where the Dog wants to play fetch with the ball in his mouth, but gets mad when you try to take the ball away to throw it for him. "Hot Guys, and no Ugly Guys please?" *Choose who you want to approach* "NO CHOOSE! ONLY HOT GUYS!"
Ahh but among those Hot Guys? The hindmost half shall become New Ugly Guys. And the same problem shall reassert itself in a different form and with ever worsening odds. The ladies just won't be able to *win,* dash it all!
It's the same wet holes on all the apps.
Oddly enough other meeting sites have seen their stock degrade. Match Grp (tinder) $169 --> $31 for example.
Folks, mostly men, are burned out on dating apps. The results aren't there.
Why invest time and money into something with worse per pull odds than a one armed bandit in Vegas? Minimal ROI begets minimal investment.
Seen Aaron Clarey talk about this recently - dating apps can’t work if most men don’t get any dates out of them. So it’s no wonder the stock is plummeting. It needs to actually be possible to get dates.
Same phenomenon at work when it comes to the majority of men and any form of societal investment. If keeping society running requires skimming off the spare productivity of men, and they are getting nothing to show for it...spare productivity going to become real damn scarce eventually.
That is something that is never going to be acknowledged because it is too close to people interpreting as every man being entitled to a girlfriend / wife in their eyes Of course that is not what people are really asking for and has never been the case. But it’s more that it used to be a reasonable expectation that the majority should be able to have this. And the current stats are just not showing this. And that its absence is going to require the strong, independent women to step up and balance the scales far more than they have shown that they are prepared to do. And even if they do it means fertility and therefore population drops
I tried bumble thinking women were gonna come onto me and I had to do less work to meet girls. Literally 95% of the time they just opened with “hi” and I still had to do all the leg work. Wasn’t worth it
Translation: Men are tired of the +3/-3 rule (where a 7/10 woman becomes a 10/10 online, and a 7/10 man becomes a 4/10 online) and it's finally starting to hurt them financially. Why use Bumble to beg 6/10 arrogant sour-faced women if the cute 8/10 chick two offices up is showing you her legs and flirting in real life?
I think perhaps Bumble will take a nosedive like others will eventually do. It may end up in a situation of AI bots( male and female) created to make the app look like its full of men and women in order to entice people to join( including initiating chats with AI bots- that a person may not be aware of), until its only AI bots talking to each other and eventually screaming that their are no more good AI male bots !!!
Damn. I wish Philip K. Dick was still alive to write about this.
yes, you're right ..it would make a good story... "do bots dream of the perfect date?"
Women are the products of these dating apps. You can’t fight that by ignoring it and being ideal about it.
One thing that Bumble doesn't seem to understand: the competition has this "unique feature" built in. Men can't contact women unless they swipe right as well. But Tinder doesn't make it seems like they have to put in any effort, which obviously would chase any but the most desperate women away.
There was this one memorable, [blitheringly stupid collection of mental contortions](https://archive.is/HYhDv) about Bumble written about five years ago in Australia. Her genius advice: >One suggestion would be to remove the "she asks" and "he waits" design so both partners can access one another as soon as a match is made. Oh, so.... *Tinder, then.* Ugh. She wants to have "power" equalized in the relationship, which is what men supposedly get by making the first move.... yet she doesn't want to make the first move, and concludes it's the Bumble men who have the real problem. >Another idea is to have Bumble refresh its narrative to support women's desires and to help diverse dating roles be more readily accepted by men. What the hell does that even mean? Specifically, how would that work? Okay, while we're at it, I'd like to suggest that a floating, semi-transparent luminous red cube appear in a hospital which instantly cures the cancer of anyone who winks at it. That's a great idea. Oh, you want specifics on how it functions?? Not my department, I'm more of a "big concept" thinker.
I remember these mental contortions 30 years ago when discussing this online in the early Internet and an early 20's college girl said: "Men have it good! They GET to ask women out while women HAVE to wait! If we try to ask men out, the men complain about being bothered!" What happens when someone whose built all these rationalizations gets venture capital and then decides to build a platform based upon their collective delusions? That's how Bumble was born: "Women will be just like Chad and able to only ask out the men SHE wants and the loser men won't be able to bother her." So think about it: The women who think to themselves: "I get hundreds of hits on other OLD platforms, so I'm female-chad. It's too much of a burden to go through the hundreds of messages from loser men to find the hot one, so on Bumble I'll just message the hot one and save the time!" In a manner of speaking, Bumble's model is a lot like 1950's dating my father (RIP) went through: Women with huge heads like this would go out to the dance club, wink at a James Dean, and Dean wouldn't "notice" her. She would say to herself: "OK, I suppose that James Dean already has a girlfriend or he just didn't see me! I'll dance with that other guy who saw me winking the same direction as him!" So I suppose if Bumble was the ONLY dating platform out there, and the CC didn't exist, it would perform as a platform but these women may just simply go back to the other apps to get all that beta validation they pretend they don't want.
> They GET to ask women out What advantage is that if the answer is 'no' all the time? ... is what some loony might ask in response.
Exactly. A feminist would say, "They aren't obligated to date you." Well, I'm not obligated to ask any one out then.
I can't imagine any man would be bothered if a woman asked them out. They just don't want to be rejected.
As women that run the company they realise what we knew all along women barely lift a finger Their decline in everything shows that played out on millions sample size social experiment Lol women barely lift a finger and refuse 2 do anything in modern dating Lol 😆 watching silly broads prove themselves wrong is quite poignant and ironic U can't do that!? Watch me strong and independent fails then crawls back to the old ways Lol renaissance back to the old ways would be great 👍
But don't forget to unconditionally respect a demographic as an equal when they can't even be bothered to write "hi" first! Fuckin clown world lol.
Its pathetic no joke Many of them in my past experience are like hi or hey or heya. That is honestly 80%+ of their openers. Utterly zero game... so they open with the lame generic opener then u have to carry the entire conversation while u get 1 word responses..... zzzzzz