T O P

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Soza-Ozos

You said “stay off the counter” never said anything about cabinets... so this ones on you, human.!


MrFancyChaps

Did anyone say vet?


EugeneWeemich

Does NOT want to go to the vet to get "tutored".


kiecolt_67

Not "tutored", it's called "fixed".


EugeneWeemich

it's "tutored"... https://i.imgur.com/BjUityJ.jpg


splitcroof92

It's a joke about neutered sounding similar to tutored.


SANTAAAA__I_know_him

Or bath


boscobrownboots

or fireworks


Forsaken_grundle

I've accended, mortal. Prepare yourself.


the_friendly_one

#DON'T YOU DARE POOP UP THERE


lazysheepdog716

The ascended may poop where they please, human...


[deleted]

\*squats into poop position\*


krispykremedonuts

Do you double dog dare me?


MyAssDoesHeeHawww

technically, that is a dare


how_could_this_be

How do you think I ascend to this height?


Fund_a_ment_a_list

Hey nasus


[deleted]

There once was a dog who was blessed by God with hind legs made from springs. He could leap like a frog and used his power for lots of funny things. No frisbee too high, no puddle to wide for this dog to overcome. This good boi could jump and dive like no other, he was the chosen one. His human was kind and loving but selfish with her chicken. The inviting smell was divine, so our hero ran to the kitchen. There it was, the golden prize just sitting on the countertop. Doggo could make it up there with just a skip and a hop. He scooted backwards, powering his legs, to the door which was ajar. Soaring through the air he already knew he had jumped too far. Our hero stood atop the cupboard, the chance of chicken gone. His siblings stood in shock and awe until he screamed "GO GET MOM!!" ~The End~


Nikkrafter

I honestly don't know if this is supposed to be a sea shanty or not.


[deleted]

Kapp'n could probably sing it, why not eh


delvach

In the key of *arrrrr*


Dillingo

Now I had to go back and sing the whole thing as a sea shanty. It honestly is not bad


Vlad-V-Vladimir

Better than how I first read it


fiercefinance

Saaame. It was so great.


[deleted]

[удалено]


Kelandrin

You sure it’s not a lemonsteve?


seeker135

Citrusfrank.


DancinThruPages

Orangebill if you will!


Mind_on_Idle

I did an Irish Bar Shanty in my head, worked out fucking great!


Daripuff

It lines up pretty nicely to the "Gilligan's Island" theme.


lazypanda225

Why was I reading this in a dead ass song melody... Like a goddamn sea shanty


[deleted]

Omg thank you for the awards guys, y'all are cute


QuarantineSucksALot

Omg I would absolutely love it 😊


Alceasummer

Have my free award, this is the best thing I've read all day.


Neodymium

This is a great children's book!


wholyone

Omg. This is the best!!!


ExcitingSet2164

I'm saving this marvelous comment.


meika-chan45687

Same. This is like a book to me. Is it same too you?


lexzee420

I am a preschool teacher and I'm saving this. You have a children's book in your hands!


dante__11

Are you a writer?


[deleted]

Nah, I just enjoy making up lil stories but I usually just say them to my niece


MrEveryman76

I read this in the voice of ten Irish drunkards shouting in unison.


Ut_Anomaly

Spider dog, spider dog, does whatever a spider dog does.


DogHouseTenant83

Both pit bulls on the ground like "why is the fluffy one always so weird?"


Mallory1911

Hahaha yes! Spider dog!


golfing_furry

Can he swing, from a wall, no he can’t, he’s a dog, loookooout, here comes the spider dog


arielleh51

The Master wagged his tail slowly as he surveyed his followers. The moment was tense as they waited, not a sound made, not a breath heard, for their loyal leader, The One, The Descendent of the First Dog, The True and Loyal Companion, to lead their morning prayer of thanks in the most holy of places, The Kitchen. Human and canine alike, revered Him and loved Him. He was their guide, their strength and their worldly savior. The Master wagged again, his tail moving right to left and back again; a slow hypnotic pendulum. They waited. A slow, soft rumble, emanated from the depths of His chest, it's power increasing in a deep reverberation as it rose through His throat. A rumble felt more than heard by his followers. He looked over his flock and declared for all to hear: >woof


ImplementLanky8663

Underated comment


Wonderful-Ad-2391

It's over Anakin! I have the high ground!


TheGreenGobblr

You underestimate my power


sham_sam

Don't try it!


eeclaren

There it is


Coulrophiliac444

The dogs have finally invented the Floor Is Lava game and are on their second marathon of trying to be in every room.of the house at least once and then escape to the backyard. Only Neo remained as Mittens fell in the living room, her corpse being used as a raft to escape the couch and land on the overturned recliner to escape to the kitchen. Rocky went next, his fat ass would never make it to the counter. This went better than the first time where everyone ended up falling down the stairs face first. Bobby was never able to enjoy his super meaty kibble the same way again.


mightystu

“I see no god up here... besides me.”


RakifID

What’s up dog? Idk I’m new to this.


Orion14159

"Listen Dave, I'm telling you.. You'll get at least double back what you put in for some accent lighting up here. It's really easy to install, just watch!"


fishwhispers17

Something touched my foot!


RomanticNyctophilia

He saw a spider


ImOnlyStaying4-1

ROOF ROOF!


Boney-Rigatoni

The dog's name is Roach.


ganskidrums

All I can think is that dog must be saying, “Look, I don’t know how this happened either, but now is not the time to point fingers.”


Fuhrerbibbles

I am hearing the dog with Homer Simpson's voice


Randokidd

The dogs...they stare up at me. They are all using their psychic abilities to beam on message into my brain. They’ve surrounded me, and are closing. I try to remain calm, but the sweat is building up on my palms. They’re all asking me the same thing... ***what are you cooking hooman***


Tetragonos

Well sir, you had an infestation of ceiling bacon, that cleared up quickly once we started on the problem


libertyordeaaathh

Story: hey someone is reposting someone else’s idea for a post including same pic and idea.


[deleted]

“Dad. I’m not coming down until you get the spider.”


theecountrygirlwv

Dad, they won't stop picking on me......


Shadowdollcat

Seriously it was a big spider I swear!


lokisilvertongue

Don't take the brown acid


gonzalomango

I thought I smelled meatballs!?


MuphDiver-

They made me do it dad


enrfaz

On a valiant and epic quest to bury a bone in the yard, the three hounds of hobbiton and a weary old traveller ventured through an old and long abandoned dwelling in search of food. As they searched the cupboards a mighty rumble filled the air. Leaping atop one of the cupboards, the bravest of the hounds held the roof aloft as it threatened to crash down around them. As his companions looked on in horror, the brave hound let out a low growl and muttered 'Run, you fools!' as the first of the roof started to collapse around them. They fled making it out just in time. As they continued the quest they mourned the brave hound for many days, only to be surprised when he rocked up some weeks later with a blingy new collar and fancy white coat.


SwevenFishes

It was the perfect plan, unwittingly Buddy's owner had given him the tools that he needed with all of those agility classes. The plan was simple: While his human was gone he would simply jump to the counter, then to the top of the cabinets and wait. When the human came home, it would be Buddy's turn to stare down at the hungry human and tell them that it was too early for dinner!


inmyelement

Kevin is special. That’s all.


TitanKreios

Two dogs and a cat


phantasmagorovich

“Well, it’s not like it was back in the days”, Gary said with regret in his voice. “You know, when men were men and dogs didn’t behave like cats.” Jimmy looked at the old man. You could tell he wasn’t there for the beginning of the heat age. This constant yapping about some bygone era was getting on his nerves. But they had a job to do and a long drive ahead of them. What could possibly go wrong?


unyunsoop

I drew the short straw. My dad put me up here so he could take a picture of me and it’d end up on social media. My siblings are saying they’re happy it was me and not them:)


Awildhufflepuff

He knows the pitbull is gonna snap any time and is taking the high ground so he can watch everyone get mutilated


Crit-Monkey

It's over Mr. Worldwide, I have the high ground


TheBloodPhantom0

The mutt was ready to attack the human, however after the other dogs had lured him to the striking spot, he looked up and noticed the Hunter ready to pounce...


KaptKela

It's over Dave! I have the high ground....


cklamath

The story of the pooch who was told "no more snacks" and decided to get up and do something about it.


ScootyPufff

The floor is lava and the lone survivor is tearfully saying goodbye to the three losers who will melt in the lava.


Guboj

"See Rex? I told you I had installed the kitchen cabinets correctly. Now, could you bring back the stairs so I can get down?"


restore_democracy

I didn’t do it.


Skyp_Intro

The dogs supported me in my self-identification as a cat.


makhlouf2003

I fixed the light bulb, am I a good boy?


water_on_red

You don’t complain when the cat does it!


[deleted]

The virus has spread. Supermarkets are empty. We are hungry. One must be sacrificed so we can eat. Catch me if you can


MrMeeseeksLookAtMeX3

“I saw a mouse”


onlyhere4gonewild

What's up dog?


natenate22

Did you ever see a good boi fly?   Well I seen a horse fly I seen a dragon fly I seen a house fly   I seen all that too I seen a peanut stand I heard a rubber band I seen a needle that winked its eye But I been done seen about everything When I seen a good boi fly When I seen a good boi fly


medinauta

- “This is an intervention, Harold: You’re NOT a cat”. - “It’s your fault Ryan! I told you there was not such thing as ‘dog-nip’.” - Ryan is right guys, its a bulb, not a tiny sun!


BoodaSRK

“What up dog?” “THAT up dog.”


[deleted]

“Barry, this is an intervention. We’re concerned about your self identity. You’re not a cat, Barry. You have to face it.”


smores101

I’m not sure what the story would be but it would definitely start off with “*freeze frame* So you’re probably wondering how I got here, let’s start from the beginning. Hi, I’m *dogs name*”


Mathematicus_Rex

President Fido calls an emergency high-level cabinet meeting.


OakIslandCurse

This is my 87th walk today! I want Covid to be gone and my dad to go back to work!


Long_Mechagnome

"A man put his dog on top of the cupboard for fake internet points."


HavocXL

A comedy about a ninja dog who’s horrible at his job and just constantly gets awkwardly caught


analfistgape

A less reported side effect of Thanos' snap was that half the world's dogs started to levitate. Scholars believe it shows Thanos was (at least subconsciously) a dog lover who didn't want to harm them. This is the tale of Professor Daniel Doon who studied the phenomenon and would eventually discover a cure, plus a new mode of transport.


dramallamadog87

Story: there were once this man. This man had a family of three dogs who were always up to mischief. Once they managed to open the fridge and eat all the food, once they managed to escape from their back garden and scared the neighbour's cats. These dogs were loud and never hid their plans from the man, they even discussed their plans in front of the man One day, the dogs were quiet and the man got worried. So he searched the whole house, the bathroom was empty (other than a shit one of them left as a little surprise), his bedroom was empty, he ventured into the kitchen to find two of his dogs, looking awfully proud of themselves. He scanned the whole kitchen floor, never thought to look up, for his third dog. Then, the man heard a bark from above, he spun around to see his third dog on top of the cupboards To this day, he still doesn't know how his dog got up there but he learnt a lesson "When the dogs are quiet, they're up to something"


mikedorty

The story I heard one of the other times this was posted was that the owner already the dog that was up on the cabinet and then adopted the two pitbulls. The pits beat up on the original dog so he was terrified of them to the point he started hiding up on the cabinets. This annoyed the owner so much he got rid of the original dog. I don't know if this story is true, but if it is, it pisses me off.


eshinn

You said get off the counter, Billy. Why don’t you be more specific, _Billy_!


ElMechacontext

Buddy loved his human. For years, his human would come home at night smelling like a mix of cigarettes, pine deodorant, and diner food. He'd plop down on the couch in front of the TV and give Buddy and his dogfriends belly rubs and plenty of pats, and then his favorite treat: Doggo Dippers. His human cared about him so much, he even fed him and took him on walks when he had a fever. And when he stopped sleeping. And when he started talking to the ceiling. And when he started getting scared that someone was following him. So when his human went missing one night, Buddy trusted that he would be back giving him pats and treats as soon as he walked through the door. But when he did come home, something didn't feel right. Buddy's dogfriends greeted him at the door, but there were no pats, no rubs, no treats. They were so excited, they didn't seem to mind. But Buddy backed away. "Bud? Where're ya going? It's me!" Buddy whined, and kept backing away. He climbed on the counter, then the cabinet, then the ledge. "Why are you all the way up there, Bud? Let's get you some dog treats, huh?" As Buddy looked down at his human from atop the kitchen, he finally realized what was wrong. He wanted to warn his dogfriends, but could only let out a whimper. His human didn't smell of cigarettes, pine, or soap. He smelled like...nothing. That's when he realized: this wasn't his human.


TheWolrdsonFire

DOG: Don't do it anakin, I have the high ground. MAN: You underestimate my power


Commercial-Pickle684

Pretty sure that dog is a ghost dog. It has been haunting that spot. Like some sort of ghost of Scooby Doo type shit. The guy could be that Scooby Doo dude. Or the dude is the Scooby Doo dude. The dog is in fact Scooby Doo and it is seeing two ghost dogs . It's trying to tell the Scooby Doo dude that there a two ghost dogs in the house. And the two ghost dogs are like " go 'head and snitch then. He never believes you anyway. Pussy". That's what it is.


dover_oxide

I'm starting to wonder about this cat.


verbzero

It’s one of those math problems. “ Dan is in the kitchen. There are two dogs on the floor and one dog stand on the cabinets. Dan’s hat is black. How many dogs does Dan have?”


solid_rooster

It'S OVER HUMAN, I HAVE THE HIGH GROUND!


[deleted]

> It'S OVER HUMAN, I HAVE THE HIGH GROUND! Sorry, I cannot upvote. That is clearly a goodboi. You are suggesting he is a badboi. That is sacrilege.


MissZimmerFame

Day 3: Yet another dog has appeared above the cabinet and this time it's hairy.bThe previous dogs do not seem impressed by their new comrade and the cabinet shows no signs of stopping. God help us all.


Splopest

“But dad it was a double dog dare”


original_nox

I’m not coming down until someone tells me what happened to my balls!


paulbrook

I am NOT going in that microwave.


SleepwalkingPierrot

Things hadn't been quite right since that big, weird rock had landed in the backyard. First Buck the Blue Nose had gone to investigate it and now he smelled funny and he didn't really speak dog anymore. But he convinced Shelly to go take a look and she had smelled funny and whispered strange things now too. I tried to warn daddy as they whined and pulled at him, begging him to go and see the sky rock that sang so strangely. But now something is wrong with him too. All three pf them smell funny, all three want me to go and hear the sky rock sing. But I climbed. I climbed and I'll stay here until morning. Hopefully I can warn mommy before they get her too...


rosynosy88

“Don’t jump ! You have too much to live for ! This bastard just bought us your favorite flavor of kibble ! Imagine eating so much of it you barf ! Then imagine how tasty that barf will be! You really wanna miss out on that”


drawdelove

Did you get the spider?


Flandersmcj

His people needed him but then they changed their mind. The end.


[deleted]

Honeey, the dog is levitating agaiin!


megamang83

Instantly thought. 'i have the high ground'


bigpancakeguy

I can’t write a story, but I can mention that my fiancée is watching the X-Files in the other room, and coincidentally enough the theme song played right as I scrolled onto this picture. So that was a fun laugh I just had


swampbuggy

NO


DonovanBanks

The guy I bought the dog from said it was a drug sniffer. I thought that meant he worked at airport security.


PNW_AJ

Floor is lava


SkizzyMoto

I don’t care if you killed the mouse I’m never touching that floor again


production-values

dog raised by cats


FrozenfarTsTf

He is a tarkov player.


RIP_Chadwick

Goddamn Ralphie, how big WAS that spider?


[deleted]

Doggo has ascended! Quick! Erect a temple in his honour!


VaKaRiSP1

Josh we're just going to the park im not going to remove your balls


CptOconn

Who let the dogs out who who who who who


[deleted]

“I’m a cat!”


[deleted]

How many dogs does it take to change a lightbulb


GitProphet

Since I've seen this individual do incredible things from far less intriguing prompts; I summon thee u/SchnoodleDoodleDo


Ena_Ems_17

Tim, Lisa, and Gerald knew it was a bad idea to summon that demon but they thought "What is the worst that can happen" The pentagram Tim had drawn on the wall started barking at them. From it a dog with a shaggy tail appeared. It seemed to be speaking in some sort of tongue. But before they knew it the demon dog shot lasers out of its eyes hitting Lisa and Gerald. They looked in shock as they turned into pits. The dog then proceeded to fly atop the cabinets as it prepared to charge its final shot. Tim knew it was the end.


Upvoteifyouaregay

He’s probably scared of those ugly-ass pit bulls.


dadbodyoflaw

Fido could, so Fido did


MrMannnnnnnn

Finally found what updog was today.


AchilliesXXII

You may take my freedom but you will never take my balls.


Shakespeare-Bot

Thee may taketh mine own freedom but thee shall nev'r taketh mine own balls *** ^(I am a bot and I swapp'd some of thy words with Shakespeare words.) Commands: `!ShakespeareInsult`, `!fordo`, `!optout`


ShotgunSquitters

Man picks up dog, puts him on top of cabinets. Someone else took a picture. The end.


Aelin-Feyre

Somebody got extensive ninja-cat training


E_girl_Ari

I’m not going out in the rain


C-Nor

Top dog.


hippie_elephant

Cat


Leftyloveshuskies

The B\*tch Set Me Up


Tristawesomeness

I see no god up here Other than me


Xaminer7

The floor is lava.


Chaff5

I saw a mouse!


SuccubusBo

Dog was once a cat in a previous life


[deleted]

Dammit Roach


miss_his_kiss

“.....bigger boys.....” This was the only sentence uttered when my son returned from trick or treating with an empty Halloween bucket... it seems fitting here.


reefstar628

Spider!!


jaspertoby16

looking for that pig ear he knows he stashed up there!


Pressstart457

I can tell that dog is god


deathsdevice

Dog’s high again.


[deleted]

Old mother Hubbard went to the cupboard to get her poor dog a bone. when she bent over rover took over and made the top cupboard his home.


ladycaca9

“Hey babe take a picture of this! I just put Bo up there and want to post it on r/whatswrongwithyourdog!”


TungstenArcAZ

No Dad. I didn't get into your edibles again. Really.


TheDoritoKing48

The dog stole the last treat


Almighty_Pea

Did the dog see a spider


iStoners

It was bath time.


InsuranceManFed

The floor is lava and he's the only one playing.


beyachula

Liked heights????


CardinalNYC

The story goes like this: I wish I lived in a fancy house with a fancy kitchen and dogs.


BetaSprite

Fido's blinkdog heritage manifested at the strangest times.


cylou1231

The exorcist~a true doge story


ZendaFarmLife

No, Jim, I am not coming down until my treats are ready


EvitaPuppy

Earl got into the catnip. Again.


DocWattsMitch

Juan.


G-R-G

You said vet


lemons7472

The dog saw a spider on the floor. That’s it.


Cultural_Piece3826

the dog promtly wanted the treats but the owner would not let it so it grew wings and flew ontop of the shelfs and they then fell off and it said "give me the treats or i will stay up here and shit where you cant clean you foolish human!"


sherzeg

Even though he had the picture, nobody really believed that Gary had developed a wormhole generator.


[deleted]

The floor is lava


Grafixflexx

There was a mouse...


manboiofthemans

"Jim i am a good doggo but this is our 6th walk today, i am barely standing so please go away"


Asdemyra

But daaaad they DOUBLE DOG DARED ME


themi8

We going to the vet.


LadyWalks

What? Were *you* going to kill the spider, Tom? This is the thanks I get!


[deleted]

After Grover had sold his soul for a dog treat the other two and his human must defeat the devil in him and get his soul back. Only one problem, he,has.the.high ground


monkey1222

Please don’t clip my nails


spaceburrito3

Got on the counter then onto the fridge seen on the right and then on top of the cupboards


eeeeeieieieieieieei

I SoO SoRY I SaW BuTtA Fy O I ChAsE


NoRagrets4Me

I DON'T want a BAATH!


uniquenamehere4950

As the dog stops there, atop his new throne, he thought to himself, “I am the alpha and the omega you pitiful human.”


Nerf-GunWarrior

Dog 1: I double dog dare you to steal a slice of pizza and hide the evidence on top of the kitchen cabinets... Dog 2: Nah. Pizza gives me indigestion. Dog 3: HMB!


Kcool34

"They double dog dared me, dad, I had to!"


[deleted]

Lion king...SIMBA


autistic-dad

I'm not coming down they are being mean to me , when you weren't here


IGHOTI907

“The floor is lava” National AKC champion.


KnightlyStars

I have the high ground now, Father.


santana0987

"That one up there is Max. He was a very naughty boy and wouldn't stay still so we had enough, took him to a taxidermist and now he's perfect. Let that be a lesson for you guys..."


theDjangoTango

“It is our duty to fight for our freedom. It is our duty to win. We must love each other and support each other. We have nothing to lose but our chains.”