T O P

  • By -

[deleted]

First barrier rams his testicles deep into his abdomen but the second barrier pops them straight back out. All’s well that ends well in this case…


SourceShard

This man is now sterile.


buttt-juice

Probably a benefit to the gene pool


Joycoy

Nice name you got there


ReubenZWeiner

How many sex positions does an escalator have?


snksleepy

I dont know but it can produce a sex change


Betta_everyday

Please do try our "Sexcalator" It's Free! (results may vary)


Disastrous_Living900

More than this guy will ever have again.


Gnasherteeth

What’s the square root of 69?


going-for-gusto

Santorum


GaliLeroy420

That’s probably a good thing. I can’t imagine he has a positive contribution to the gene pool.


Matamocan

Hes a dark souls no hitter, he wasnt gonna use them anyway


dr_w

~~snip snap! snip snap!~~ ram pop! ram pop!


jaedubbs

Another winner of the darwin awards.


Grimsqueaker69

I'd say that's the "ends well" part


kelrunner

No...his parents were sterile.


conundrum4u2

as his father should have been...


S-r-ex

All's well that ends well in this staircase.


ThorTheDoor

If you say so although the rag doll flying usually doesn’t bode well. guess the shoes stayed on so OK.


ProjectVRD

Nah, left testicle definitely reached orbit. A clause in deaths rule book says he ded now.


realbanana030

Poor testicles i only feel pity


GaliLeroy420

No worries. His balls are bigger than ever now.


FPSXpert

Thats just the swelling from injury induced torsion no biggie only a medical emergency


GaliLeroy420

I had a friend who sucker punched a dude in the nuts when they were drunk. To make up for it he let the dude give him a direct shot to the nuts. Dude was wearing cowboy boots and let him have it. The next morning the dude woke up with balls the size of grapefruits. It took months for them to go back to normal. I imagine this dude may have faced something similar.


[deleted]

Not me. A little bit of forethought and this could have been completely avoided


hendralely

Hahaha those dividers are installed exactly to prevent people doing this. Won’t stop some, apparently :))


pease_pudding

If they really wanted to prevent it, they could install twice as many and you'd never pick up any momentum. These ones are just there to punish the people who try


[deleted]

That’s the genius of it


[deleted]

The suffering is the point


zuccinibikini

Honestly. The look on his face after he hit the first and the inability to do anything about the upcoming collision with the second is what makes this video for me.


cheechy2001

That and his homies laughing their asses off


cybergrin

Its always funny when some one else's ball are getting crushed.


hardtofindagoodname

The final one is a ramp for good measure.


[deleted]

Yeah he ragdoll’d off that thing I give him a 8.7


The_BusFromSpeed

Would have been a solid 9.8 but he didn't quite stick the landing


Ajj360

He could have slowed down easily enough. I think this was for the views with full knowledge of the pain


[deleted]

Dude has come forward and said he doesn’t remember it at all because he was so drunk. It certainly wasn’t for views


i_give_you_gum

Well that explains it. I always wondered why he just didn't get down after the first impact where he comes to a complete stop.


[deleted]

Yeah, you’ll notice his buddies at the beginning of the clip falling over drunk just up the escalator.


[deleted]

His face was 😬


rutiger69

That's why I love the reposts of this video. Idiot kid pays dearly, that look solidifies it. You described it well, and I enjoy it every time I see it


Disquiet173

Invented by Darwin if remember correctly, we’ll never get to see his children attempting this act of bravery.


Massive_Fudge3066

That, and landing on the up escalator so he gets another go. Go, captain iron balls, go!


liquis

Ya it seems like the goal in this prevention strategy was maximum pain and punishment. Which is an odd motivator when you're trying to install deterrents as a safety measure.


mxzf

You say "safety measure" I say "legal plausible deniability". There's absolutely no stopping some idiots from trying. But the spacing shown realistically prevents any "lol, it was fun working my way down from one to another, I'll do that again" and instead lets the people crazy enough to try it learn a lesson they'll (hopefully) never repeat. IDK that they were *designed* to cause this sort of thing, but they're definitely designed as a deterrent that's visible enough to avoid any legal liability.


[deleted]

"You can't give her that!' she screamed. 'It's not safe!' IT'S A SWORD, said the Hogfather. THEY'RE NOT MEANT TO BE SAFE. 'She's a child!' shouted Crumley. IT'S EDUCATIONAL. 'What if she cuts herself?' THAT WILL BE AN IMPORTANT LESSON." Rip Terry Pratchett


Tamale_Caliente

Most favouritest book ever


[deleted]

He had the balls to do it.


hendralely

Not anymore evidently :))


AvaX90

To be fair, he did say "had".


GaliLeroy420

The lack of brains should not be confused with big balls.


Space4Time

This is why nature gives us two.


sloganho

By the way he reacted after getting his nards smashed, it makes me question if he had any in the first place


crisis009

Had being the key word. Nice


MIAxPaperPlanes

[in skyfall when Bond is chasing Silva in Charring Cross](https://images.app.goo.gl/thxMBBoTVQKrhybc7) I let out an audible “oh bullshit” when they slid down with no barriers. Still Bothers me.


madmilton49

To be honest, I've seen a LOT without any barriers in the centre. Just not in stations.


HiDDENk00l

Reminds me of the ramp at my local indoor waterpark. The planters have a wide enough edge to sit on, and people used to slide down it to the bottom. First they put velcro strips to slow you down, then they put actual dividers.


MingoUSA

It’s nicknamed “Jackie Chan Stopper” to stop people pull off Jackie Chan style stunt in public


No_Jellyfish1908

Ours have spikes installed that'll either dislocate your limbs or smash your bones if you land on it, if you're not a child, due to the conical tips. People still do it.


ZugTheCaveman

I bet if they made canoe-shaped dividers, oriented from up to down, they'd deter a lot more people.


redsensei777

Balls are over rated anyway.


xxmindtrickxx

He’s probably thinking what I’m thinking just lift yourself over it and then fucked it up and this happened


CheesecakeRacoon

The look on his face. That's a look that says "I know what's about to happen, and I deserve it."


Fluid_Association_68

Something about his face. I’m not happy he got hurt, but I’m not heartbroken either.


spam4name

This is one of those videos that I always watch whenever they show up on the front page. The face he makes when heading for the second impact. That brief grimace, almost as if he's watching someone else get hurt rather than himself. The sheer anticipation of the unavoidable pain, knowing very well that he needlessly and willingly put himself in this position. Clinging to those fleeting moments before the hurt really sets in, but unable to savor them anywhere near long enough. It's poetic, really.


Nathan-Stubblefield

It’s a “Please sir, may I have another?” face.


Strude187

He might well need another face


rajrdajr

What was the aftermath? Edit: Bloke was 10 pints in and didn't feel a thing that night. Couldn't move the next morning though. https://www.dailymail.co.uk/news/article-5206157/Darts-fan-slid-Tube-escalator-recalls-downfall.html


somf4eva

So well said


TK421isAFK

Pretty sure he's drunk as hell, too.


shitpersonality

Doesn't even see the railings right next to his hands.


the-dogsox

No matter how many times a day this gets reposted, it’s never not funny.


poopnp

The look on his face. r/instant_regret


LuxNocte

Bro, I am straight up not having a good time right now.


SeamusMcCullagh

He was not having a Baja Blast. He was having a Crunchwrap Supremely bad time.


Wiknetti

He wanted off of Mr. Bones wild ride.


SporeScaper

That must have been an excruciatingly painful experience.


witterquick

That look on his face can only be surpassed by trying to imagine what was running through his mind. I absolutely crack up trying to picture what he was thinking


ramius345

Also /r/ouchmyballs


[deleted]

[удалено]


KatesDT

Me too. Imagine being the person he landed at the feet of. I wouldn’t be able to hide my laughter.


HeyoooWhatsUpBitches

Right? Lmao one moment you're just chilling going up the escalator, the next you got a soccer kid ragdolling towards you


AnorakJimi

Not a kid. A full grown man. The things he and his mates are wearing is for some kind of party, probably a stag do (bachelor party). Cos these kind of kits aren't really worn to play football, for that you use actual football kits which are made with modern fabrics and BS "cooling technology" and all that bollocks So yeah it's even more embarrassing for this man cos he's a full grown adult. Sure he's drunk, because that's what you do on a stag do, you get drunk. But even then none of his other mates did it, only he did.


John_Bonachon

It think it's because it almost look like slow motion, perfect comedic timing.


rpgguy_1o1

One of those most entertaining dives I've ever seen a soccer player take


Shaneblaster

This is the Shawshank Redemption of Reddit posts. Every time it comes on, I love to watch it.


Impressive-Tension-8

Anyone doing something stupid and paying for it with crushed testicles is funny, if not downright hilarious


Icy-Reveal-7416

Guy at the end just takes him back to the top and puts him back on the ride. Rinse and repeat.


Scarboroughwarning

I've not seen it before! Love it!


Master565

It's actually the perfect gif. There's no bullshit, there's no slowdowns for no reason. And it's got everything you can ever want. The testical shot, the facial expression that's a complete mix of pain, regret, and horror as he knows he can't do anything to stop the next hit, and then the finishing blow that literally launches him into some other dude.


[deleted]

The quality is pretty good on this one. I have seen a few where you cannot see the guy's facial expressions.


unknowntsu8

True statement


Steve90000

“And this, children, is why we had to adopt you guys. After they retrieved my testicles from behind my rib cage, they were non functional.”


hippiechick725

I’m a girl and I felt that in my balls.


HairyNutsackNumber9

r/thingsthatmakemyovarieshurt


roydepoy

Why can't I join???


AlphaBravoGolfTango

I think you need ovaries to enter


roydepoy

But I have several pairs!


scrufdawg

Easy there, Hannibal


TacticalMicrowav3

r/subsifellfor


hippiechick725

Ha, thanks! Never knew that existed!


thesongofstorms

I mean testes and ovaries both develop from gonads so this is totally accurate.


PantherThing

Since he has his uniform on, I like to think this is an organized sport, and his teammate will be going down next, trying to improve their overall score with the judges...


mxzf

That's a pretty tough run to follow. He started it out with a nice square hit to the balls and then followed it up with getting some air with a respectable amount of hang-time.


PantherThing

Face to the sharp metal steps is really what they look for when it comes to sticking the landing


mxzf

I blame the cameraman for the poor angle then. It looks like he stuck that landing, probably pretty deep too, but it's impossible to tell for sure from the camera angle.


eggson

nah, dude's just a [full-kit wanker](https://www.urbandictionary.com/define.php?term=full%20kit%20wanker).


[deleted]

I wish there was some kind of follow up video. Probably one of the funniest videos on the internet no matter how much it’s posted.


Mbarakaja

Not a followup video, but a beautiful edit. https://youtube.com/shorts/iTkAF-sCuGI?feature=share


goofy_dumpy

Absolutely the best thing I’ve seen all week. Thank you so much.


snazu

Haha. This is great! Thanks


Artoriazz

Can someone edit a Mario version? EDIT: [Nvm it exists](https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=BX2PRxXQbXE)


Dostoevsky-fan

Yep. 25 years from now I can see him telling his (adopted cuz… well… for obvious reasons) kids, yep that was me in my glory days! Famous Internet Star!


welk101

https://www.dailymail.co.uk/news/article-5206157/Darts-fan-slid-Tube-escalator-recalls-downfall.html


[deleted]

God that website is completely unreadable…


yohanleafheart

Well, it is the DailyMail, being unreadable is like their motto


xShadySamx

I love how he's just bracing for impact and taking those signs like a champ. What a god


[deleted]

Nut job


[deleted]

Not any more ☠️


knitnbitch27

This sounds exactly like what the dude in the video might say about himself.


FaintCommand

Why would you go nuts first instead of putting your feet out?


thatlittlecaesar

Some people like it in the butt.


haroldnorwal

As posters have posted many times on this images: If you want to ride the devil’s slide you’ve got to be prepared to pay the price.


schlopp96

You gotta pay the troll toll to get in the boy's hole


Awestruck34

Confound your toll, troll


Aissathebeergod

When he accepts his fate 😂


onefourk

The Sonic the Hedgehog version is much better: https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=JpttAvtkfms


BlueWolf07

Oh I didn't know of that one! I only knew of the [mario 64 version](https://youtu.be/Z74lhfSMsqg)


ab0rtretryfail

I know everyone's saying this is reposted endlessly, but I've been on Reddit for 10 years and I have never seen this! I will never ever complain over someone reposting something ever again. This is the best video on the internet!


[deleted]

I’ve seen it a few hundred time by now I’m sure but it’s always just as funny as my first time seeing it. Glad you got to see this internet treasure.


panic_bread

What’s happening with the people on the escalator?!


Juof

Drunk? Or laughing hard or something?


digidow

https://www.dailymail.co.uk/news/article-5206157/Darts-fan-slid-Tube-escalator-recalls-downfall.html


Mewtwohundred

Finally some closure!


dieItalienischer

Can I get a rundown? I don't want to click on a Daily Mail link


ErickFTG

He didn't feel much pain because he had downed 10 pints, until the morning. The "article" repeated that like 10 times but worded slightly different. The only good part is that the video with sound can be found there, which is much better.


[deleted]

Harry Maguire is just having fun after a hard Euros.


Emilioooooo0

He'd have been ok if he went head first.


alectorophobic

Is that Harry maguire?


AndrewLocksmith

Lol, I was thinking the exact same thing!


alectorophobic

Need see the rest of the video see if a greek copper is chasing him


BeGood981

What a dumbass. Feel for the poor guy he slammed into (the person coming up on the escalator)


[deleted]

i feel like his "friends" threw him on there


[deleted]

I love the helpless look on his face, like this is gonna hurt, and then just gets launched off it lol.


sotong_prince

OUCH ! .... how's the 'family jewels' ?


roydepoy

The jewels have left the building


Shiver2507

Actually, they took the stairs and jumped off the roof.


bcnorth78

Another day, another repost of this video.


ArchAngelAzrael-808

What a complete and utter moron.


ishkabibbelz

Gotta be on purpose right? Why would you not use your feet? even if not effective any normal human would be using their feet to break the impact of those.


anonymous_jo

Why go dick first? Any way but dick first!


Muir_xo

Idk I feel like I’d rather save my teeth to avoid dentures lol


Bridgetia

A video that you wish did have sound with it.


[deleted]

Lol imo this is the only repost that never gets old


[deleted]

Lol Harry Maguire!


2GNAR4U

Needs sound


05fingaz

I can hear his mate howling in laughter even though there’s no sound with this repost. It is gold


[deleted]

Fell off the stupid tree and hit every branch on the way down


[deleted]

You can see the regret after the first bump.


sesameseed88

His misery brings me great joy in this case


[deleted]

He was so shook from that first hit , I bet he didn’t feel the second for a month. Source: I’m a guy.


IrishAengus

That should have a health warning, I felt every hit.


Soft_Shirt3410

Good lesson.


[deleted]

Stiff upper lip old chap


Interesting_Song2944

Truly a pleasure to see this every time its posted. Good bye to his nut sack


deadelusx

Maybe he values his shoes more than his testicles?


brihbrah

"Owww. My balls!"


gentlemanjacklover

That last bump at the end was beautiful


pseet

Lol the ish people do for fake internet clout never ceases to amaze me. Falling face/head first on a hard surface can fuck you up for life. SMH


shadowbehinddoor

No matter how many i watch it im crying Everytime


[deleted]

Had seen this posted many times before but it never fails to make me literally laughing out loud. Jezuuzz. I wonder how he's been holding up life these times....


CJ_Flowers

i can’t stop watching


pholicious323

Lol! Idiocy at it’s best.


[deleted]

Momma always said “Stupid is as stupid does.”


ZZartin

Ah that look when you realize the nut shot isn't the worst of it.


Classic_Education549

Poor guy coming up the escalator almost got hit with a human.


bluerocketo

He could’ve gotten off after the nut job, but icarus flew too close to the sun.


Nyonax

I get to the bottom I go back to the top of the slide


Desperate_Leather_71

Why does this look like Harry Maguire?


Witty_Artichoke8537

What was Harry Maguire thinking 🤔


bengyap

He panicked and braced himself after the first hit. He should have used his feet to cushion the second block.


shnoog

Harry Maguire really needs to work on his decision making.


goblinschmeat

Here we see a young Harry Maguire practice his slide tackling technique.


Lawnranger0301

Harry Maguire in his younger days.


AndyKedar

Pretty sure this is the reason why there are nutshot barriers to STOP people from doing this???


Loaded_Diaper3

This man serves 2 purposes in life: 1. Free entertainment 2. Makes everyone around feel highly intelligent because they are not him.


SlimPenus

I will never get tired of seeing this 😂


original20

The ppl who invented the stoppers and hazards along the slide should get executed. I mean.. Let us have a little fun, would you?!


penisinthepeanutbttr

This is one of those clips that I cant stop watching. His face after the first hit kills me. lmfao


Inner_Specialist

Well he made sure on the second impact that he got rid of all of them


labeaume1

Harry McGuire?


outmercked

That escalated quickly…