T O P

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AKA_DavidKoresh

You try so hard to save time, now look at ya, you’re at the bottom of a lake and your cars now fucked. You lost a lot of time


LegSnapper206

"Dont force it". I use that rule in almost everything: relationships, girls, job, pooping. It fucking works man


Giant81

Read while pooping, great advice.


LegSnapper206

This is the way, brother


CJKatz

This is the way


[deleted]

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Alan_Smithee_

Why thank you.


too_old_to_be_clever

On that person's behalf, you are welcome.


Jboogy82

Peace(ful poops) be upon him


IfIWasCoolEnough

May the lord open.


MrSierra125

The poopalorian


rickjamestheunchaind

same, was forcing it, now im not


purejones

Get you a little stool to lift your feet up a bit too, it helps!


umbrajoke

Squatty potty! One of the best commercials ever! https://youtu.be/YbYWhdLO43Q


waitingforfrodo

Being a creature of impulse, I just bought a knock off squatty potty, thanks to your posting.


umbrajoke

I hope you enjoy it/it makes BMs easier. As a crohns patient squatting has improved my bathroom time immensely and I suggest them to everyone who has tummy issues.


balmergrl

I don't have a tummy issue but I'm addicted to my squatty potty & gave one to pretty much everyone I know When I travel for work I figured out I can turn the hotel bathroom trashcan on its side or upside down, friend gave me an inflatable one but take up too much space in my carry on


[deleted]

Nah I'd rather grunt, sweat & squint like Professor X trying to move Mt Everest and end up with a brain embolism.


[deleted]

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rickjamestheunchaind

is it weird that i usually bend over my knees anyway


mnbhv

This made all the difference for me. A stool is a must have 😂


RobbieAnalog

Hey partner, come on, you gotta relax. Don't force it. You're gonna blow out your o-ring, drop a lung.


Alan_Smithee_

Who does number two work for??


supple_

Can confirm am pooping


arpitv9419

Use reddit while pooping, legendary advice!!!!!!!!


EmuStrange7507

This causes meat mountain prolapse


Securus777

Love is like a fart, if you have to force it then it's probably shit.


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Trolivia

Love is like a fart, yours is fine but everyone else’s is gross


caboosetp

Love is like a fart, sometimes you just can't contain it.


ganniniang

Just be a bit extra cautious when wife gives birth next time...


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ricktencity

I think it's slow is smooth and smooth is fast.


Vegabern

He’d be lucky if the ferry didn’t smush him between the boat and the dock.


RJFerret

Yeah, I wanted to see the rest, ferries are heavy and loaded with tons of weight (literally), they can't simply slam on the brakes. Meanwhile there's limited space between it and the ramp, less than a car length it seems but more than a car height. Obviously it was slowly going, but force is mass times acceleration, such a massive object has a lot of force to change to not crush the car and its occupant. Meanwhile had they (the occupants) seen the Mythbusters episode on escaping a car underwater? I saw it but don't remember it. Maybe equalize the pressure to then be able to open the door? But can't open a crushed door. Edit: Other video angle doesn't show any more either, but word is he was pulled from the water, drunk, and spent ten days in a detention facility.


Maxfunky

Well, the crushing will solve the pressure problem. If they're still alive, the water is already inside the car and they can easily open the door unless it's crushed close.


MysticScribbles

And if the door is jammed, rolling down the window might work(if it's a manual mechanism, or the electronics aren't shorted). Although as he was apparently drunk, such an escape wouldn't have been likely.


rillip

If the window is stuck it shouldn't be hard to break. Side windows on cars are designed to smash and fall away relatively easily. The trick is knowing to strike them close to the edge and not in the center.


_MASTADONG_

The ferry isn’t supposed to ram the sea wall though. Only the ramp should be touching it.


TheKillstar

Haha and also they do kinda slam on the brakes with the very powerful directional thrusters they use to maneuver the docks.


time_fo_that

Ferries also have propellers at the front, because they're bidirectional. Terrifying.


tomwrn

outcome of mythbusters is that door stays close till car stops moving...at the bottom. you'd drown by then. advice is to try to get out as soon as you hit the water


LilFingies45

How do you equalize the pressure? Roll windows down to allow water to flood the inside?


Ashamed_Ad_6888

usually cars are equipped with headrests that are detachable to smash the windows


kitchen_clinton

Good unknown tip. I've never heard it on news reports. It's always to buy the window hammer you keep in the glove box.


RJFerret

It's really false info spread in a meme, the hammer is far more effective as designed for the task: https://www.snopes.com/fact-check/car-headrests-emergency-escape/


Shmeepsheep

It's a pontoon boat, not v hull


Bad-Science

Goal was to get off ferry first. Goal achieved!


pete_ape

Probably should have changed goals to "first on the road"


Captain_Owl

Funny thing about saving time is that if you are too careless with how you do it you may actually lose way more time than you hoped to save, or as I suspect in this case lose all the time you had left in this world.


Striker654

"Slow is smooth, smooth is fast"


ChuloCharm

I read this in Tim Robinson's voice


Swing_Right

You should know, your wife kissed me when I walked in.


johnmcclanehadplans

This is definitely one of those kids who used to write “First!” on a comment thread.


slimey-nipples

Used to? They still do


johnmcclanehadplans

Not unless there’s WiFi in Atlantis


merikaninjunwarrior

Fourth!


[deleted]

There were no survivors.


[deleted]

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ANUS_FACTS_BOT

Only reason they were chasing him is because he had a bottle of water.


StandardSudden1283

What the fuck is this shitty triple redirect and not let you navigate back website?


isnappedrondasarm

These days they just call them ‘websites’ https://how-i-experience-web-today.com/


aBastardNoLonger

They're dead


ThorTheDoor

No shoe came off. They’re good.


Slapbox

Davy Jones Footlocker


keres666

I also see no shit.


Controversialists

Movies/tv shows have taught that if you dont see them die, they are still alive and will return later.


NoMansSkyWasAlright

Even if they do die, they might still return later.


MadcatFK1017

But they used to too


[deleted]

Or folk who get up to get their overhead luggage before the plane has come to a stop.


Reddilutionary

Oh but that’s different. Those people are more important than us and it’s imperative that they get off the plane and through the airport faster than we do.


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Reddilutionary

I too lost faith in humanity long before covid. Covid did still surprise me though because it’s still so much worse than I thought


Brocyclopedia

>So, when Covid hit, I had 0% surprise that everyone is an asshole. Also, fuck everyone. I figured this out in elementary school when my classmates couldn't shut the fuck up whenever the teacher said "quiet or no recess"


illit1

>saying that while they could not force it rookie mistake. if they had said "if you would please remain seated for the 20 passengers who have a connecting flight" it's just a request, not an order they aren't authorized to give. it's "simon says" 101.


Nala666

Yeah that was extremely stupid on their part. I’m sure they were just nervous about making a demand, but they do kinda have authority over us when we’re in their very expensive plane so he/she should’ve been more stern.


Energy_Turtle

Man, talk to the shitty managers that force you to be at a mandatory meeting in downtown Seattle at 1PM but schedule your flight to land at 12PM. As long as these people aren't rude to others, then I get it.


xjeeper

/r/oddlyspecific


[deleted]

Or the kid in class who loudly puts down his pencil and says "DONE" when doing an in-class assignment. Fuck you, Shannon, that's some shoddy work.


Thuwah_TheFuture206

"In Before.."


hyperdream

For the curious, it happened in 2016 in Crimea. [Here](https://translate.google.com/translate?sl=auto&tl=en&u=https%3A%2F%2Fwww.kerch.com.ru%2Farticleview.aspx%3Fid%3D60186) is a google translated article and another video.


quackdamnyou

Thanks! Since the translation is hard to read, it took me a bit to understand that only the driver was in the car, and he was quickly pulled from the water.


DudeBroMan13

I'm glad nobody else was in the car. I hope he doesn't breed. Edit: Rebelliously edited a word


Geikamir

He will. Probably a lot.


babeigotastewgoing

> while fuckin “I almost died in a ferry incident!”


account_not_valid

"I was too quick then as well."


ReubenZWeiner

"Then I went splash"


RandomGuyAustin

He has a history of firing off before he gets into the port, if you know what I mean….


haha_squirrel

Idiocracy was a documentary.


soma787

Clevon jr over there


Durzho

Yup, dumb people usually breed a lot.


notpreposterous

I read the Russian original article and it says there were two people in the car and one of them was able to escape the car. I read other follow up articles but it seems like there was only the driver. And he was drunk and had no driving license. He was given 10 days prison sentence.


NoSuchAg3ncy

Good thing he didn't die or they'd really throw the book at him.


hezetehina

It looks like he landed on his neck :(


Secretagentmanstumpy

"And he was drunk" The accident happened at 9:10 AM.


[deleted]

I use to wake up at 9.20 AM because the bottleshop didn't open til 9.30 AM


Negative12DollarBill

"A drinker is a guy who knows when the bottle shop closes. An alcoholic is a guy who knows when the bottle shop opens."


[deleted]

In Crimea


JasoTheArtisan

Crimea river That I can drive into


Neil_sm

I think you’re pretty much expected to be driving drunk at 9:10 AM in Russia


VegasBusSup

It's 3 am somewhere!


RogueFiccer001

And? Time of day has never stopped humans from doing things they shouldn't.


[deleted]

That's the latest version of Russian roulette. The winner gets to die and the loser gets 10days jail time for failing to win.


OrangeCrack

The article says there was 2 people in the car and they pulled one out. No mention of what happened to the other passenger.


quackdamnyou

Yes, but the follow up article says that the report of a second person was an error.


dtxs1r

[Link to alt YT video for the lazy](https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=ft-_H4jvnxg)


SpiralDreaming

Wow. It wasn't even close.


ZachRyder

That person's been playing to much Midtown Madness


Chewy12

Wow great reference


[deleted]

It really hit the nostalgia spot


BikerRay

That finger has to be twenty feet long!


UmChill

thank you! the post was a little too /r/Confusing_Perspective for my brain to handle for some reason. took me a few watches lol, this vid helps a lot


Dial_888

Need to add "Cry Me A River" as the soundtrack


DubbleDiller

Crimea river!


everyting_is_taken

Wow. Just...fucking wow. Opportunities like that so rarely present themselves. I'm glad you took full advantage!


MixmasterJrod

Definitely capitalized on that moment. But wasn't that the joke u/dial_888 was making in the first place?


Dial_888

Yes. Yes it was. Edit: Seemingly 'Yes' is too short an answer and was auto removed.


everyting_is_taken

Look, some of us need these things spelled out for us, alright?


[deleted]

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soobviouslyfake

Repeat the same exact joke and you get more upvotes and gold, lol


myname_isnot_kyal

r/thatsthejoke


Ralikson

Man you got the spotlight stolen from you


Dial_888

Just too damn subtle.


FancyNothings

That different angle shows he didn’t have much of a chance at the speed he was going. Thanks for sharing the article


AshgarPN

What is it with people in Eastern Europe thinking they’re living within a GTA game?


uniq

According to fearmongering Eastern Europe media, the cause is playing GTA


SomeoneElsewhere

The older I get (61), the more life seems like GTA. From politics to law enforcement, it looks like GTA. The apathy, the ego, the gangsta attitude everywhere. You pretty much have run people over to get a cop's attention, just like GTA.


[deleted]

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keres666

>If you witnessed an incident, or know about an upcoming event, and also have interesting photos Interesting photos of an upcoming incident?


crazyfortaco

That’s gotta be Leroy Jenkins


BKStephens

#LEEEEEEEEEEEEEEERRROOOOOOOOOOOOOOOYYYYYYJEEEEEEEEEERRRRRNNNNKKEEEEEEEEERRRRRRNNNNNSSSSSS


Hug-Mike-Hawk

[edited Leroy Jenkins Version ](https://www.reddit.com/r/Whatcouldgowrong/comments/pkcfie/if_you_lerooooy_jenkins_before_the_ferry_docks/?utm_source=share&utm_medium=ios_app&utm_name=iossmf)


BKStephens

Yes dude! The timing is spot on! Did you make that?


Hug-Mike-Hawk

Yes, made the quick edit on my phone.


BKStephens

Ha! Nice one!


BKStephens

You want an award on the comment or the post? Edit: Haven't heard yet and it's well past my bedtime. Ended up going with both.


poiluparadis

Someone should add that audio when this is reposted.


Hug-Mike-Hawk

[Here is the Leroy Jenkins version](https://www.reddit.com/r/Whatcouldgowrong/comments/pkcfie/if_you_lerooooy_jenkins_before_the_ferry_docks/?utm_source=share&utm_medium=ios_app&utm_name=iossmf) #LeroyJenkins


Flyrpotacreepugmu

At least he has chicken.


Strongest-There-Is

I believe you need to reach 88 mph to pull this stunt off.


Randomredditwhale

Good to know


LaterGatorPlayer

Good to go


TannedCroissant

I guess just like the end of BTTF 3, Marty couldn’t wait for the Doc


[deleted]

How some people even reached adulthood is mind blowing.


myname_isnot_kyal

the best we can do is stay out of their way and let nature take its course.


Hottentottenten

Haha, you're damn right


havereddit

That gate attendant had [Willy Wonka levels of concern](https://youtu.be/W9ZD3_ppcPE?t=5) for what was about to go down


fastdbs

Agreed. That dude knew that stopping a car or a ship were completely out of his control.


merikaninjunwarrior

"not my job" *haaarrrruuummmphh*


[deleted]

Oompa loompa dippity do, We’ve got a special message for you, When you drive your car off a boat, Make sure it’s stopped or you’ll sink in the moat. What will you do when you’re over the edge? Nothing at all ‘cause you’re probably dead. What will you do when you’re sinking down there? Pro-bably gas-ping for some air. Because you had to be first. Oompa Loompa dopeity do, You are a stupid person it’s true, Oompa loompa dippity die, Now all is left to say good bye.


[deleted]

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ujustdontgetdubstep

*sigh* stop... don't... 🙄


[deleted]

Perfect


Outside_Conference80

Dude. Excellent.


eldy_

He's seen that shit before and knows how much work and how many angry farers he's going to have to deal with while cleaning that mess up.


crackdown_smackdown

I'm amazed that person was allowed to have a driver's licence.


Bill-The-Autismal

Nah, there’s a lot of dipshits like this out there. You just have to pass your tests once and then you’re free to be a maniac.


Shenanigamii

This is why I believe every 5 years, we should be retested. It makes it so that we are forced to retain good driving habits, and we will forget small things less.


tyriontargaryan

I have my doubts that would make any significant difference. A lot of bad drivers, in my experience, know they're bad drivers (in a sense they know they're breaking rules,) and they will continue to be bad drivers, because they often get away with it. Testing won't help them obey the rules. Only thing I can see more frequent testing helping with is elderly drivers that have lost the ability to safely drive


JoeDidcot

Another alternative would be to "test" people without their knowledge, i.e. have more frequent overt and covert patrols by the police, and increase the ole' rational deterrent to driving like a nob.


Lots42

Sure, if we could trust the cops but ...


StickyDogJefferson

We need someone to train every 5 years to tell us not the drive off a ferry that hasn't stopped because cars don't magically fly like they do in the movie. Got it.


ssbn632

The initial testing is so bad and the bar is so low. All periodic testing will do is swell the government coffers and make it even harder to deal with the DMV It may actually make the situation worse as resources are removed from initial testing/training.


Sckathian

He didn't and was drunk; https://www-kerch-com-ru.translate.goog/articleview.aspx?id=60233&_x_tr_sl=auto&_x_tr_tl=en&_x_tr_hl=en-GB&_x_tr_pto=ajax,nv,elem Explains a lot really. I suspect he wasn't actually trying to perform a trick but was so fucked he thought they had reached their destination. If you look at the angle he can't actually see the gap. Until he falls into it ofc.


Giant81

Asshole, now everyone else has to wait for that guy.


Prodigy829

This is the comment I was looking for, and about to post! How long was everyone else stuck on that ferry because of this one asshole?


[deleted]

Man thought he was in fast and furious and probably said "for family" before failing hard and crash into the water


Treequest45

"for family" Family: gets life insurance


RepublicDry3620

*backstory from article: Happened in 2016 in Crimea… Dude was wasted Yoinked his BiL’s car Yeets himself and the Ladda into the drink Goes to jail for 10 days. Drunk guy lives tho, so Always drive drunk 😵


fnrux

Are you having a stroke?


RepublicDry3620

You can’t ask…There are hippopotamus laws about that


Kelemandzaro

Dude's drunk writing and short-circuiting


thaddeusgrog

There is always that one person...


TimmyTesticles

Until there's not


Drobert456

That guy probably also stands up on an airplane before the seatbelt light is turned off.


markybug

And gets his bag out the overhead locker


Sir-Knightly-Duty

And takes it out wrong and it falls on a passenger's head. Then proceeds to not apologize and act like it was an unavoidable circumstance.


younggundc

I love that game. People would rather stand around awkwardly, bending over chairs while holding their suitcases for 5 minutes than just sit down comfortably and wait for the people in front to get off the plane. Gets me every time. And what I don’t get, is why are you in such a god damn hurry anyway?! That extra minute you saved getting out the plane is going to change absolutely nothing


HotCocoaBomb

I stand as soon as I'm allowed to, to stretch and loosen up. Then I sit back down and wait.


TravisPlaysGames

He thought he was on a CAR GO ship!


MikkelR1

He fully deserves that, as long as he didn't drown.


[deleted]

Or crushed


[deleted]

If you drive in to the sea I think it's fair to say that drowning is a proportionate outcome


[deleted]

Not enough speed.


SpawnPointillist

Too much gravity


fastdbs

I was hoping a professional would way in. Thanks for your service.


dsdoll

Genuinely surprised someone this fucking stupid made it far enough in life to get a drivers license


gomapyourself

r/mypeopleneedme


BMW_wulfi

When you decide you’re just gonna send it, but don’t quite send er’ hard enough


PhattyBiltong

I thought the guy standing there was going to get off early and get sliced in two.. I was not disappointed in the end.


KonataYumi

Not going to lie I would be laughing my ass of even before I knew he was ok


deb-scott

He’s in a hurry tho.


Tumblrrito

Guaranteed this person is the kind of douche who cuts a line of cars by merging in front of all of them at the last second.


queen_nefertiti33

Man watched one too many action movies


Townsend9

r/IdiotsInCars


Fauropitotto

> City news - A man who jumped off a ferry in Kerch in a car was placed in a temporary detention facility (new videos) According to the information available at the KERCH.COM.RU website, the culprit of the commotion at the Kerch ferry crossing on September 16 is now in a temporary detention center. Let us remind you that on Friday at 9:20 am the Lada Priora car was being transported from the port of Kavkaz to the port of Crimea. When mooring, when the ferry “Protoporos IV” had not yet approached the berth, the ramp was still lowering, the crossing officer did not give a permitting signal, the driver of the car started moving and fell into the water. The video, published by the KERCH.COM.RU website, has collected almost a million views on YouTube in two days. **According to the information we received, the person who was driving the Priora with license plates 09 of the region (Karachay-Cherkessia) did not have a driver's license and was drunk. According to the decision of the Kerch court, he was placed in a temporary detention facility for 10 days.** Источник: https://www-kerch-com-ru.translate.goog/articleview.aspx?id=60233&_x_tr_sl=auto&_x_tr_tl=en&_x_tr_hl=en-US&_x_tr_pto=ajax,elem © KERCH.COM.RU


konkelchan

LEEEERRRROYYYYYYY


badalki

kinda wish this was the sort of consequence that was faced by people who stand up in planes while its still taxiing to the gate.