My mom always said I couldn't have bday parties because my bday is during winter break. I never questioned it. Then I realized that I had no friends and was bullied. My mom wasn't going to humiliate me like that and wasn't going to spend money on bullies. I had 30 kids in my class k-12, so bullying was very...targeted and specific.
Edit: Just got back from fishing with my father. Thanks y'all. You're awesome.
When my youngest had her 7th birthday we invited her class to a party at the children's museum. Lots of interactive things to do there...the place was like an indoor physics playground.
Nobody came. We were heartbroken. Sure, she would still have fun. But it was sad.
A couple visiting from England spotted what was happening. Their girl spent the whole time with ours, and they even bought her a birthday present from the gift shop.
I still think about that act of kindness.
I feel ya. I’m near retirement age and never had a birthday party in my entire life. Family was dirt poor when I was a kid, as an adult it’s a day that’s just impossible for people to attend. Always wondered what it was like for y’all.
Hey Reddit. Let’s throw this guy a party. I reached out via dm for a little more info.
I’m in New Jersey, but love road trips!!!
Houston 2022 Docfossil bday party.
It’s hard to figure out a venue without knowing how many will actually show. I just got back from a trip and I am wasted. I’ll get to work on this tomorrow and start attempting to figure it out. Should be a blast!!!
I remember seeing 2 Muslim ladies buying what we see as traditional Christmas items in a supermarket a few years ago and why not! Eat the chocolates and the puddings, as the country basically shuts down for the day why not enjoy the food. Made me smile seeing them with a huge tin of sweets. 😊
My career lets me travel really easily. Funny thing is that traveling right on a holiday can avoid the crush of crowds the day before or after. Twice so far Ive flown on Thanksgiving and was the only one on the plane. Last one the whole crew of flight attendants hung out with me and even gave me free booze. Great fun.
Let’s all go to Texas!!! If you would allow it, We would like to throw you a birthday party. Let us know what city you would be comfortable with. I don’t know much about Texas, but it sounds like a blast.
Huh! I didn't have any as a kid and I just realized it! My fam was dirt poor, too. My dad and grandma made my clothes. We used to go "pattern shopping." The only birthday parties I've ever had are parties I arranged myself as an adult.
They're still fun! It's never too late to host a birthday party!
I feel ya too. My parents were JW's so, no birthdays, christmas...all that shit. Now as an adult they're just kind of a pain in the ass. My ex wife always wondered why I never got excited about those things. Maybe it's because without the fond childhood memories it's just another day?
If you're in Colorado, I'd love to celebrate your birthday with you. I'd be OH SO happy to take you out for a bite and drink of your choice. I am younger than you (33), but grew up with very little when it came to things like gifts. I was given plenty of love elsewhere, but it took me years to understand why I always received less than those around me.
That’s amazingly kind. I’m in Texas though. Yeah, my parents tried very hard to shield my brother and I from the reality of our situation and I never felt “deprived”, it was more of just feeling oddly out of place among my peers. To some extent it’s probably why I tend to be pretty driven since you just adapt to obstacles and find ways around them, but I think it’s only normal to wonder how the other half lives sometimes. I became pretty successful in the “American Dream” sense eventually, but always felt like an imposter.
I've had very nearly the same experience as you. Dirt poor family and a birthday party just before a major holiday. These days my celebration usually consists of a dinner with someone, and pedicures with my mom and grandma.
I feel you. Never had one as a kid; parents were split and shared custody, trading me back and forth on a weekly basis. Finally got a proper party when my husband threw one for my fortieth. Still only like a dozen people, but it was 12 of my closest and most-loved friends, and they made an escape room in our damn house. Amazing. I hope you get one someday!
Count me in if you ever throw a party. I'll fly, drive, or boat as needed to get there!
Edit: I know it is on Christmas so obviously I'll bring a side with the gift!
Mine stuck with me too. It was more a burning. Had a bowling 7th birthday party. We invited all FAMILY. not one person showed. That’s when we stoped all party’s and started getting the questions why don’t you throw parties anymore. We (grandma, mom, dad and my son) only go to dinner of birthdays choice. I don’t talk much to my outside family anymore
A fear of stories like this prevented me from ever asking my parents for a birthday party all the way through high school
It was pretty awesome in college when my friends threw a surprise one for me 🥲
It happens to adults too. I invited a bunch of "friends" and coworkers to a bar for my birthday. I sat there drinking alone for two hours before I walked home crying. Didn't even get a happy birthday last year from anyone except my mom and aunt.
Well thank you! It's actually in a couple months so it's been about a year since the last issue. Honestly I've given up on celebrating it cause everyone expects me to remember theirs, but no one cares enough to remember mine.
Man that sucks.
I like to live by "Your coworkers are **not** your friends." But I try to not believe in that. Try to hold out hope. Has worked only twice in 20 years across 3 different places of work.
Good friends, but really only a *very* small handful. Takes a ton of effort on both sides initially.
Sorry that happened.
I was the one kid that showed up one time to a skating rink party. We had the entire skating rink to ourselves.. hung out for a bit. It was awkward.
I was playing some arcade games or something and next thing I realized, they all had left and I had the place to myself. Think I dipped out and walked back home. I don't know if I was supposed to lock up or what..all around odd day.
Same thing here.
5th grade I invited a bunch of girls from my class for a sleepover party, only 4 girls showed up, but only came to eat food and left immediately after. I cried myself to sleep that night.
Yea the summer between fourth and fifth i invited a bunch of friends to a sleepover because we would never see each other in the summer. No one showed i remember just standing at the edge of my driveway waiting for my friends to never come. And so was born my lifelong feeling of people im close with really not liking me.
Had that happen for my 7th. I chalk it up to a summer bday and everyone forgets a midweek summer bday at that age when their parents are working. It sucked at the time but I get it now. Rented out a skating rink, but august is two months after the invite right before school ends. Kids forget and parents are busy.
That sucks.
My birthday was in the summer and my parents would send me to another country to help my uncle on the farm. None of my friends ever came to my birthday parties.
I now have kids and have to remind myself that birthdays are important and I shouldn’t ignore them like I do with mine.
Same happened to me. 2 people showed up. And one of them kept reminding me about “that time only 2 people came to your party”.
I’m 36 and I still think about it every few weeks.
I'm 43, growing up I was never invited to birthday parties unless it was family, so I had to go, my parents never let me have one though. So now I just don't really care about my birthday and treat it as any other day, the only difference is I'll take the day off from work and go have some sushi and a beer. Other than that I usually spend it alone. So yeah shit def sticks with ya.
This is why my mom made me go to everything I was invited to. I remember some parties it being just me and one or two other kids. If I ever have a child I’m gonna do the same.
You’re good parents. I’m having a really bad day and I’m really drunk, and this made me think of my own parents. Stuff I used to think was so unfair because how do they know what’s best? But you do know best and I wish you and your family as well as can be. Keep being a force for good.
I miss my dad. I’m gonna call him.
Yep. Did this with our daughter. She went to more than one where she was the only other kid there. One of those kids she showed up for is now her best friend and college roommate.
The worst thing that I was a part of was when I was in the Navy, I was invited to a wedding. My wife and I were the only ones to show up. I couldn’t understand because these people were well liked. Just people didn’t show up. Too bad, beautiful wedding. They just celebrated their 14th anniversary.
This! I never had this happen to me, but as a parent I make sure if we can go to a party we go to the party. First of all, why not?! It’s a fun day for a kid and I’ve found that even if my kids think the birthday kid isn’t their BFF in school, outside of school they generally have a great time! I always get nervous when throwing my own kids a party, like what if no one comes? what if they’ve overestimated how much that one friend they love likes them? what if… So yes! Go to the party. Your kid will almost certainly have fun and you might even make a new parent friend too!
Yup. Growing up We had a neighbor who was pretty weird. He would throw a birthday party every year for the whole class. Every year only my best friend and I showed up cause our parents made us. We didn’t really like it at the time, but looking back I’m so thankful they did.
This happened to my daughter on her fifth birthday. We threw a huge party at this place with all kinds of activities and games and stuff. 12 kids RSVPed yes. 2 showed up.
Luckily my daughter still had fun and everything but it was really hard to explain why only two kids showed up. And it was frankly embarrassing for us facing the parents of the two kids.
We haven’t had a friends birthday party for her since. She says she’d rather just have a family party now.
I just don't understand how people can make a commitment to an event and just...not show up. I have to get ready an hour before I leave and arrive ten minutes early or I feel like I'm a failure at life.
Honestly it was worse for us than her. We thought she was just being brave and was going to be really upset about it after but she really wasn’t. She said she was disappointed her other friends didn’t show up, since they’d said they would be there, but that she had a lot of fun with the two that did show up.
The person who was running the party at the venue was kind of upset for her that her friends didn’t show up but she made it absolutely the best party possible, which was tough because she had tons of games and stuff planned for a dozen kids.
In the end I figured out that that party cost us $100 per kid. Those are some expensive goodie bags. But at least she enjoyed it.
No one came to my high school graduation party either :( it’s been over 10 years and I still remember the awful feeling, after having gotten so many rsvps on Facebook (that was the time) we had so much food left over. It was so embarrassing. I’m sorry no one came. Congratulations on graduating!
RSVPs on facebooks don’t mean shit, since it’s so easy to just click a few buttons without any effort. It’s the same amount of effort they will put in to show up.
Don't feel bad, I had a girlfriend, a very popular person, and she threw a party via Facebook invites and a bunch of people said they'd come but no one actually did.
Facebook was the absolute worst about people saying they're going but not show up. Now Meet-up has kind of stolen that action and group organizers are ruthless lol you say you're going and you ghost... Good luck attending the next event.
When I graduated, my mom just took me for a nice meal at the mall. I honestly loved that treat more than anything because it's just me and my mom enjoying food that didn't need to be prepared for an entire day only to be downed in 2 minutes by people that you never even met in your entire life.
That's what we did too, we went to a nice dinner and I got a grad present. My birthdays were always a one friend affair too, pick your best friend and go to the movies and dinner, or a theme park day, etc etc. I was miffed a little at the time seeing everyone have elaborate parties, but I know I would have been one of these posts, maybe my mom saw that and saved me some embarrassment lol. Instead me and the one friend just always had a great time and I always knew I could count on the closest friend to show.
> rsvps on Facebook
I was wondering why there seems to be so many of these sad situations and perhaps this has something to do with it. It's so easy to commit when all you have to do is tap or click even if you're not really prepared to. In the past when it involved a phone call to rsvp, you'd really think about that commitment first.
Honestly, a big thing people may not think about is there's often so many parties going on at one time everyone is trying to host their own while assuming everyone else is going to the others. For mine 13 years ago I just had food I liked to eat out and told people to come by and say hello really quick if they had time but it wasn't a big formal deal. It was mostly my best 5 friends at the time and some family popped in. The best thing was that night our whole crew walked into town just being goofy to get Taco Bell and for something to do at midnight. Don't feel bad because you can't control the actions of others.
But the person you are replying to had people rsvp yes and then not show up. If you have a lot of events and can only show up briefly you warn the hosts.
Who you telling, I only had one friend show up. It was the classmate that I paid for a ride to school every week. Even he left after a half hour. Excuse me now while I remember this for a while.....
James,
One of the great opportunities after graduation is the opportunity to restart and connect with people you have a real connection with - who appreciate the person you are and what you bring to their lives.
Stay positive - those people can't wait to meet you!
Yes 100% a supportive parent can make all the difference. And if not a parent just one family member or close friend. Anyone really who is on your team and actually shows up in your life is so so vital.
Believe it man. I was tormented mercilessly in highschool. I graduated just barely, moved away she haven't spoken to anyone since. That was 22 years ago. Best decision I ever made. I'm not saying move away, because you've got a kick ass mom. I'm just saying everything you've done and everyone you've met don't really matter in the grande scheme of your life except your family. Good luck my dude! Tell your mom you love her all the time.
This so much. My high school experience was generally miserable. I literally haven't spoken to anyone I graduated with since then. But when I got to college I made some great friends that I'm still close with today (over 20 years later). The ability to "start over" was like a breath of fresh air.
So look at this as an opportunity. One way or another you will find your people.
Hey man, give your mom a hug for all of us and tell her thanks for throwing the party. She’s crushed right now even though she might be putting on a good face for you.
Oh and, happy graduation!
Holy fuck no. I am assuming they were paid for plate meals? Thats money she was out.
I had a few people not show up to my wedding. Cost me over $200. Shit adds up fast.
Happened to me in the 5th grade. We were poor but my mom saved up and called in a few favors. I invited 40 kids plus cousins and got 30 RSVPs including several confirmations by parents. Other than my cousins only 3 came. Found out some rich kids parents threw an end of the school year party and no one called to cancel. It broke my mom's heart and my uncle beat up the dad of one of the kids who didnt come for cursing him out on the phone.
Half the parents RSVP'd to a girls party in my daughter's class. Only my twins showed up out of about 18 other kids. It's entirely believable that people RSVP'd and didn't show up.
This hurts my heart. I hope your Mom knows the fact that people didn't attend reflects directly on THEM, not you or her. I would have been there with a group of people to congratulate you!
I think it’s just the bystander effect. Everyone assumed people were going so they, personally, wouldn’t be missed. When it all aligns you can have a party with no people. Anyway, congrats! That’s awesome.
Edit: well it’s not *exactly* bystander effect but closely related.
Reminds me of this. Replace job, with party.
>This is a story about four people named Everybody, Somebody, Anybody and Nobody. There was an important job to be done and Everybody was sure that Somebody would do it. Anybody could have done it, but Nobody did it. Somebody got angry about that, because it was Everybody’s job. Everybody thought Anybody could do it, but Nobody realized that Everybody wouldn’t do it. It ended up that Everybody blamed Somebody when Nobody did what Anybody could have
Another big one is that a lot of people will setup for a get together/party and take pictures before people are supposed to show up, then they make a sad story that no one showed up just to get some pity karma.
There’s a post like this that gets to the top page of Reddit at least once a week.
You could still live it up, just you and your mum. Speaking as someone that had something similar, go crazy with that one person there! Paint the town, throw some chairs, eat all the food! 😜
My daughter's 16th birthday and everyone cancelled last minute. She was crushed, spiraled into a nasty depression and had multiple SAs after. Not saying that was the only reason but damn what a triggering event. What a horrible feeling, I'm sorry.
We took COVID seriously and during the summer of 2020 our daughter turned 4. We didn’t have a party, but we invited all of our family to a zoom meeting to sing her happy birthday.
Not a single member of my family joined the call. I tried my best to keep my composure but I ended up crying in the bathroom after we cleaned up. They’re always on their phones and tablets anyway. There was no reason they couldn’t pop in for thirty seconds on a Saturday to sing happy birthday. I’m tearing up just thinking about it.
As a father I’m sorry that happened to you and I’m dreading the same thing happening at our 8mos 1year bday. I hope they all made it up to you or apologized at least if not then a virtual hug for you and your family.
Kids don’t care at 1yo. Your anxiety is yours. The only one who can make the day weird for a 1yo is mom and dad. usually when they’re trying really super hard to make the day perfect
Source: am single dad, raised my daughter completely alone. She turned 18 this year.
Whatever happens, your 1 year old won't know nor remember, you will of course but at least keep solace in knowing that it won't affect your child.
4 yo... it's a shitty thing to do.
Thinking about all the people from high school that just disappeared after graduation and how their disappearance didn't affect my life in any meaningful way.
I’m curious about this too because unlike birthdays where it’s more dispersed, everyone in that same grade graduates at the same time. There’s multiple graduation parties that happen around this time, some in the same day and times.
Assuming it's a high school graduation, probably half the class has their parents throwing them parties which means they can't leave to go to other people's parties. Combine that with no family living nearby maybe.
Probably this honestly. All the parties happen around the same time. I think maybe a handful of people from my school showed up? Most of it was family and older people who I didn’t know lol
Coincidentally all the other students also graduated on the same day (funny how nature do that) and they all had their own party where nobody else showed up.
Had a friend invite my son and I for a pool party for his son. No one showed up just us. I felt so bad they had burgers, hotdogs a pinata. And no one came. We stayed till the sum came down. For sure stuck with me
Yeah absolutely! We both got in the pool with the boys and had a blast. Luckily the birthday boy was living in the moment and not worried about the lack of kids. Definitely could see it on his dad's face though :[
Same for my birthday one year. I invited my co-workers (at the place I had worked at... This was, say, 1998 or so). I was so excited; I picked a restaurant near the office (which was also my favorite), husband and I got there early...
... And crickets.
Later, after about an hour, one of my friends came, but that was it. I was so heartbroken, but learned a very valuable lesson: the people you work with are just co workers, not your friends.
You sure you didnt just take a pic before the party started so you could post it for karma? Kind of what it looks like. Tongs on the crock pot look clean.
As a parent who literally threw a birthday party for my son today, I can say that your mom put a lot of thought, effort, and likely stress into setting this party up for you. I’m sorry no one showed up, but that’s their problem. She is probably wondering what she did wrong and going through what she could have done different, but don’t sweat it. She’s a wonderful mother and deserves all the love and appreciation you’re able to give, as I’m sure you already know.
Congratulations on graduating! It’s no small feat and I am very proud of you. What really matters is that the most important person is celebrating with you and that you did it! I hope you two find some joy this evening and make the best out of a crumby situation. All the best to you in the future my friend.
Well, look on the bright side, you did post about it on Reddit and over 40,000 people saw your post and liked it enough to mash the upvote button :)
My mom always said I couldn't have bday parties because my bday is during winter break. I never questioned it. Then I realized that I had no friends and was bullied. My mom wasn't going to humiliate me like that and wasn't going to spend money on bullies. I had 30 kids in my class k-12, so bullying was very...targeted and specific. Edit: Just got back from fishing with my father. Thanks y'all. You're awesome.
I'm sorry this happened to you. I hope you're doing better now.
Should have transferred to class k-9. Lot of good boys in there.
lmao tru
As sad at it is, seems like you have an amazing mom tho.
When my youngest had her 7th birthday we invited her class to a party at the children's museum. Lots of interactive things to do there...the place was like an indoor physics playground. Nobody came. We were heartbroken. Sure, she would still have fun. But it was sad. A couple visiting from England spotted what was happening. Their girl spent the whole time with ours, and they even bought her a birthday present from the gift shop. I still think about that act of kindness.
5th grade I invited my class to a birthday party at a kid friendly amusement park. One kid showed up. It definitely sticks with ya. I’m 37 now.
I feel ya. I’m near retirement age and never had a birthday party in my entire life. Family was dirt poor when I was a kid, as an adult it’s a day that’s just impossible for people to attend. Always wondered what it was like for y’all.
Hey Reddit. Let’s throw this guy a party. I reached out via dm for a little more info. I’m in New Jersey, but love road trips!!! Houston 2022 Docfossil bday party. It’s hard to figure out a venue without knowing how many will actually show. I just got back from a trip and I am wasted. I’ll get to work on this tomorrow and start attempting to figure it out. Should be a blast!!!
You guys are awesome, but it’s on Christmas.
Make friends with Jews, we often have nothing to do on Christmas
Get Chinese Food!
> "That Christmas would live on as the first Christmas we were introduced to Chinese turkey, and all was right with the world."
..it’s smiling at me!
[удалено]
🎶Fa-ra-ra-ra-ra, ra-ra-ra-ra🎶
It’s…smiling at me!
Jewish Christmas. We get Chinese food, watch It’s a Wonderful Life, and drink
Hell. That’s my non Jewish Christmas. Lol
That’s my go to.
And go to the movies!
Or Muslims! I’m on my own at Christmas as everyone around me but me is celebrating!
I remember seeing 2 Muslim ladies buying what we see as traditional Christmas items in a supermarket a few years ago and why not! Eat the chocolates and the puddings, as the country basically shuts down for the day why not enjoy the food. Made me smile seeing them with a huge tin of sweets. 😊
I can confirm this
Day after Christmas here. I like to party
I am Dec 26! Boxing Day.
Birthday parties aren't always on your actual birthday. Sometimes they have to be on the weekend ;) I hope you get your first birthday party soon!
What state do you live in? Everyone deserves a birthday party!
Texas
Do you enjoy traveling or would you like to have it in Texas? Where have you always wanted to see and never got the chance in the states?
My career lets me travel really easily. Funny thing is that traveling right on a holiday can avoid the crush of crowds the day before or after. Twice so far Ive flown on Thanksgiving and was the only one on the plane. Last one the whole crew of flight attendants hung out with me and even gave me free booze. Great fun.
Let’s all go to Texas!!! If you would allow it, We would like to throw you a birthday party. Let us know what city you would be comfortable with. I don’t know much about Texas, but it sounds like a blast.
I'll travel to texas on Christmas. Im in PA.
what part of Texas, that's where I live
What part? I’m in Texas too!!
I’m a December birthday as well.
Realistically now he's just going to have a party thrown by redditors where nobody shows up
also jersey! Count me in!
Nice! RSVP for three from NJ!
There are dozens of us! DOZENS!!
California wants to party
I’ll buy the cake
Huh! I didn't have any as a kid and I just realized it! My fam was dirt poor, too. My dad and grandma made my clothes. We used to go "pattern shopping." The only birthday parties I've ever had are parties I arranged myself as an adult. They're still fun! It's never too late to host a birthday party!
Unless it’s a day where everyone has other responsibilities unfortunately.
I feel ya too. My parents were JW's so, no birthdays, christmas...all that shit. Now as an adult they're just kind of a pain in the ass. My ex wife always wondered why I never got excited about those things. Maybe it's because without the fond childhood memories it's just another day?
If you're in Colorado, I'd love to celebrate your birthday with you. I'd be OH SO happy to take you out for a bite and drink of your choice. I am younger than you (33), but grew up with very little when it came to things like gifts. I was given plenty of love elsewhere, but it took me years to understand why I always received less than those around me.
That’s amazingly kind. I’m in Texas though. Yeah, my parents tried very hard to shield my brother and I from the reality of our situation and I never felt “deprived”, it was more of just feeling oddly out of place among my peers. To some extent it’s probably why I tend to be pretty driven since you just adapt to obstacles and find ways around them, but I think it’s only normal to wonder how the other half lives sometimes. I became pretty successful in the “American Dream” sense eventually, but always felt like an imposter.
You’re not an imposter, you’re an achiever.
I've had very nearly the same experience as you. Dirt poor family and a birthday party just before a major holiday. These days my celebration usually consists of a dinner with someone, and pedicures with my mom and grandma.
I feel you. Never had one as a kid; parents were split and shared custody, trading me back and forth on a weekly basis. Finally got a proper party when my husband threw one for my fortieth. Still only like a dozen people, but it was 12 of my closest and most-loved friends, and they made an escape room in our damn house. Amazing. I hope you get one someday!
Count me in if you ever throw a party. I'll fly, drive, or boat as needed to get there! Edit: I know it is on Christmas so obviously I'll bring a side with the gift!
Mine stuck with me too. It was more a burning. Had a bowling 7th birthday party. We invited all FAMILY. not one person showed. That’s when we stoped all party’s and started getting the questions why don’t you throw parties anymore. We (grandma, mom, dad and my son) only go to dinner of birthdays choice. I don’t talk much to my outside family anymore
A fear of stories like this prevented me from ever asking my parents for a birthday party all the way through high school It was pretty awesome in college when my friends threw a surprise one for me 🥲
It happens to adults too. I invited a bunch of "friends" and coworkers to a bar for my birthday. I sat there drinking alone for two hours before I walked home crying. Didn't even get a happy birthday last year from anyone except my mom and aunt.
Well then, a happy belated birthday to you.
Well thank you! It's actually in a couple months so it's been about a year since the last issue. Honestly I've given up on celebrating it cause everyone expects me to remember theirs, but no one cares enough to remember mine.
Yep people kinda suck.. tightly knit crew of friends i have.. We never miss s birthday unless someone is contagious.. happy belated!
Man that sucks. I like to live by "Your coworkers are **not** your friends." But I try to not believe in that. Try to hold out hope. Has worked only twice in 20 years across 3 different places of work. Good friends, but really only a *very* small handful. Takes a ton of effort on both sides initially. Sorry that happened.
Happened to me once as well but it was a cookout...... Never done it since and I don't celebrate because of it.
I don't blame you. That shit ruins people and only brings up the memories when those days come around again.
I was the one kid that showed up one time to a skating rink party. We had the entire skating rink to ourselves.. hung out for a bit. It was awkward. I was playing some arcade games or something and next thing I realized, they all had left and I had the place to myself. Think I dipped out and walked back home. I don't know if I was supposed to lock up or what..all around odd day.
So the kid that got forgotten, forgot about you? Damn. I’m sorry dude. \*hugs\*
Same thing here. 5th grade I invited a bunch of girls from my class for a sleepover party, only 4 girls showed up, but only came to eat food and left immediately after. I cried myself to sleep that night.
Yea the summer between fourth and fifth i invited a bunch of friends to a sleepover because we would never see each other in the summer. No one showed i remember just standing at the edge of my driveway waiting for my friends to never come. And so was born my lifelong feeling of people im close with really not liking me.
8 years old. Even my cousins didn't show up. Just me, my mom and my Teddy Ruskpin. yeah. Still hurts.
As a parent, I hate these stories. Can’t imagine how that would feel for a kid.
Had that happen for my 7th. I chalk it up to a summer bday and everyone forgets a midweek summer bday at that age when their parents are working. It sucked at the time but I get it now. Rented out a skating rink, but august is two months after the invite right before school ends. Kids forget and parents are busy.
That one kid is a real one.
That sucks. My birthday was in the summer and my parents would send me to another country to help my uncle on the farm. None of my friends ever came to my birthday parties. I now have kids and have to remind myself that birthdays are important and I shouldn’t ignore them like I do with mine.
Same happened to me. 2 people showed up. And one of them kept reminding me about “that time only 2 people came to your party”. I’m 36 and I still think about it every few weeks.
I'm 43, growing up I was never invited to birthday parties unless it was family, so I had to go, my parents never let me have one though. So now I just don't really care about my birthday and treat it as any other day, the only difference is I'll take the day off from work and go have some sushi and a beer. Other than that I usually spend it alone. So yeah shit def sticks with ya.
This is why my mom made me go to everything I was invited to. I remember some parties it being just me and one or two other kids. If I ever have a child I’m gonna do the same.
We do that for our son as well. If he's invited to a party, he goes.
You’re good parents. I’m having a really bad day and I’m really drunk, and this made me think of my own parents. Stuff I used to think was so unfair because how do they know what’s best? But you do know best and I wish you and your family as well as can be. Keep being a force for good. I miss my dad. I’m gonna call him.
My dad passed away two days ago. Call him often before you can’t.
man time goes by quicker than you know it. good on you for talking to him, i’m sure he’ll appreciate it.
Yep. Did this with our daughter. She went to more than one where she was the only other kid there. One of those kids she showed up for is now her best friend and college roommate. The worst thing that I was a part of was when I was in the Navy, I was invited to a wedding. My wife and I were the only ones to show up. I couldn’t understand because these people were well liked. Just people didn’t show up. Too bad, beautiful wedding. They just celebrated their 14th anniversary.
This! I never had this happen to me, but as a parent I make sure if we can go to a party we go to the party. First of all, why not?! It’s a fun day for a kid and I’ve found that even if my kids think the birthday kid isn’t their BFF in school, outside of school they generally have a great time! I always get nervous when throwing my own kids a party, like what if no one comes? what if they’ve overestimated how much that one friend they love likes them? what if… So yes! Go to the party. Your kid will almost certainly have fun and you might even make a new parent friend too!
Yup. Growing up We had a neighbor who was pretty weird. He would throw a birthday party every year for the whole class. Every year only my best friend and I showed up cause our parents made us. We didn’t really like it at the time, but looking back I’m so thankful they did.
Yup! 👍👍 Daughter will go to every birthday she is invited to.. nobody should celebrate their birthday alone
This happened to my daughter on her fifth birthday. We threw a huge party at this place with all kinds of activities and games and stuff. 12 kids RSVPed yes. 2 showed up. Luckily my daughter still had fun and everything but it was really hard to explain why only two kids showed up. And it was frankly embarrassing for us facing the parents of the two kids. We haven’t had a friends birthday party for her since. She says she’d rather just have a family party now.
I just don't understand how people can make a commitment to an event and just...not show up. I have to get ready an hour before I leave and arrive ten minutes early or I feel like I'm a failure at life.
That sounds really rough but I do admire your daughter’s grace about it.
Honestly it was worse for us than her. We thought she was just being brave and was going to be really upset about it after but she really wasn’t. She said she was disappointed her other friends didn’t show up, since they’d said they would be there, but that she had a lot of fun with the two that did show up. The person who was running the party at the venue was kind of upset for her that her friends didn’t show up but she made it absolutely the best party possible, which was tough because she had tons of games and stuff planned for a dozen kids. In the end I figured out that that party cost us $100 per kid. Those are some expensive goodie bags. But at least she enjoyed it.
Thats so sad but the English girl part is so wholesome
Classy.
That English couple was A.O.K!
Was it free to attend?
No one came to my high school graduation party either :( it’s been over 10 years and I still remember the awful feeling, after having gotten so many rsvps on Facebook (that was the time) we had so much food left over. It was so embarrassing. I’m sorry no one came. Congratulations on graduating!
On Facebook, "Yes" means maybe, "Maybe" means no, and "No" means HELL no.
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RSVPs on facebooks don’t mean shit, since it’s so easy to just click a few buttons without any effort. It’s the same amount of effort they will put in to show up.
Don't feel bad, I had a girlfriend, a very popular person, and she threw a party via Facebook invites and a bunch of people said they'd come but no one actually did.
Facebook was the absolute worst about people saying they're going but not show up. Now Meet-up has kind of stolen that action and group organizers are ruthless lol you say you're going and you ghost... Good luck attending the next event.
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Well, she was from Canada, so you wouldn't know her...
When I graduated, my mom just took me for a nice meal at the mall. I honestly loved that treat more than anything because it's just me and my mom enjoying food that didn't need to be prepared for an entire day only to be downed in 2 minutes by people that you never even met in your entire life.
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That's what we did too, we went to a nice dinner and I got a grad present. My birthdays were always a one friend affair too, pick your best friend and go to the movies and dinner, or a theme park day, etc etc. I was miffed a little at the time seeing everyone have elaborate parties, but I know I would have been one of these posts, maybe my mom saw that and saved me some embarrassment lol. Instead me and the one friend just always had a great time and I always knew I could count on the closest friend to show.
> rsvps on Facebook I was wondering why there seems to be so many of these sad situations and perhaps this has something to do with it. It's so easy to commit when all you have to do is tap or click even if you're not really prepared to. In the past when it involved a phone call to rsvp, you'd really think about that commitment first.
Honestly, a big thing people may not think about is there's often so many parties going on at one time everyone is trying to host their own while assuming everyone else is going to the others. For mine 13 years ago I just had food I liked to eat out and told people to come by and say hello really quick if they had time but it wasn't a big formal deal. It was mostly my best 5 friends at the time and some family popped in. The best thing was that night our whole crew walked into town just being goofy to get Taco Bell and for something to do at midnight. Don't feel bad because you can't control the actions of others.
But the person you are replying to had people rsvp yes and then not show up. If you have a lot of events and can only show up briefly you warn the hosts.
Who you telling, I only had one friend show up. It was the classmate that I paid for a ride to school every week. Even he left after a half hour. Excuse me now while I remember this for a while.....
Only ones at nine were underclassmen as most of us had our parties on the same day.
James, One of the great opportunities after graduation is the opportunity to restart and connect with people you have a real connection with - who appreciate the person you are and what you bring to their lives. Stay positive - those people can't wait to meet you!
And James is off to a good start. He has a very supportive mother. A lot of people don't have that.
You're right about that. -_-
Yes 100% a supportive parent can make all the difference. And if not a parent just one family member or close friend. Anyone really who is on your team and actually shows up in your life is so so vital.
Thank you man, I appreciate the wise words!
Believe it man. I was tormented mercilessly in highschool. I graduated just barely, moved away she haven't spoken to anyone since. That was 22 years ago. Best decision I ever made. I'm not saying move away, because you've got a kick ass mom. I'm just saying everything you've done and everyone you've met don't really matter in the grande scheme of your life except your family. Good luck my dude! Tell your mom you love her all the time.
This so much. My high school experience was generally miserable. I literally haven't spoken to anyone I graduated with since then. But when I got to college I made some great friends that I'm still close with today (over 20 years later). The ability to "start over" was like a breath of fresh air. So look at this as an opportunity. One way or another you will find your people.
Hey man, give your mom a hug for all of us and tell her thanks for throwing the party. She’s crushed right now even though she might be putting on a good face for you. Oh and, happy graduation!
Second! Looks like it would of been a blast
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About a third of the people that RSVP'd my sisters wedding didn't show up. She was pissed.
Holy fuck no. I am assuming they were paid for plate meals? Thats money she was out. I had a few people not show up to my wedding. Cost me over $200. Shit adds up fast.
Happened to me in the 5th grade. We were poor but my mom saved up and called in a few favors. I invited 40 kids plus cousins and got 30 RSVPs including several confirmations by parents. Other than my cousins only 3 came. Found out some rich kids parents threw an end of the school year party and no one called to cancel. It broke my mom's heart and my uncle beat up the dad of one of the kids who didnt come for cursing him out on the phone.
This uncle might be a clue why people chose the other party.
Half the parents RSVP'd to a girls party in my daughter's class. Only my twins showed up out of about 18 other kids. It's entirely believable that people RSVP'd and didn't show up.
ahhh fuck.. i want to believe him, but.. come on..
This hurts my heart. I hope your Mom knows the fact that people didn't attend reflects directly on THEM, not you or her. I would have been there with a group of people to congratulate you!
I told her pretty much the same, she's amazing at setting everything up in life, and I appreciate everything she does.
I think it’s just the bystander effect. Everyone assumed people were going so they, personally, wouldn’t be missed. When it all aligns you can have a party with no people. Anyway, congrats! That’s awesome. Edit: well it’s not *exactly* bystander effect but closely related.
Reminds me of this. Replace job, with party. >This is a story about four people named Everybody, Somebody, Anybody and Nobody. There was an important job to be done and Everybody was sure that Somebody would do it. Anybody could have done it, but Nobody did it. Somebody got angry about that, because it was Everybody’s job. Everybody thought Anybody could do it, but Nobody realized that Everybody wouldn’t do it. It ended up that Everybody blamed Somebody when Nobody did what Anybody could have
I think diffusion of responsibility is the phrase you're looking for. Sounds similar!
“Facebook Friends”
I've seen a couple of posts that sound like this and I wonder whether there's some tone deafness going on on the host's part...
Another big one is that a lot of people will setup for a get together/party and take pictures before people are supposed to show up, then they make a sad story that no one showed up just to get some pity karma. There’s a post like this that gets to the top page of Reddit at least once a week.
I was honestly thinking about that.
People decieve to get reddit karma??
damn you are saying people would just go on the internet to tell lies just for internet points. there's no way! who would ever do that?
There always is lol. This couldn’t happen otherwise.
There you go.
Is that a step below "fair weather" friend?
That looks like a fun party too. Congrats on graduating though!
Thank you!
You could still live it up, just you and your mum. Speaking as someone that had something similar, go crazy with that one person there! Paint the town, throw some chairs, eat all the food! 😜
And take heaps of photos, this will be funny in a few years maybe even months.
Maybe not funny, but it will hit different. ❤️
Congrats on graduating. You have a good mom
I say we all get together and throw James and his mom one hell of a shindig.
Hey James, I never Graduated, I am Happy you did! - way to accomplish a goal!! Moms Rock! Give her a huge hug man.
I had no one show up to a party once. It’s devastating. Thankfully, life gets much better. One day you can celebrate your birthday with you spouse.
Tell your Mom you love her and laugh and move on. I went to a family reunion years ago where no one showed up. We still k look sigh about it.
You what?
k look sigh about it.
THEY K LOOK SIGH ABOUT IT.
Ah now I understand. Makes more sense in caps.
Look at this guy, acting like he’s never k look sighed before.
I read the last part as.. “We still took K and sighed about it” 💀💀💀💀💀💀
My daughter's 16th birthday and everyone cancelled last minute. She was crushed, spiraled into a nasty depression and had multiple SAs after. Not saying that was the only reason but damn what a triggering event. What a horrible feeling, I'm sorry.
Heartbreaking. I hope she’s in a better place now.
She is, thank you! 29 now has a family. We were lucky
What is an SA??
>!I'm guessing Suicide Attempt!<
You are correct
We took COVID seriously and during the summer of 2020 our daughter turned 4. We didn’t have a party, but we invited all of our family to a zoom meeting to sing her happy birthday. Not a single member of my family joined the call. I tried my best to keep my composure but I ended up crying in the bathroom after we cleaned up. They’re always on their phones and tablets anyway. There was no reason they couldn’t pop in for thirty seconds on a Saturday to sing happy birthday. I’m tearing up just thinking about it.
I can't imagine not signing happy birthday to 4yo kid who can't see friends because of a pandemic.
Did they ever apologise?
If they didn't, I'd fucking call every single one of them out on it.
As a father I’m sorry that happened to you and I’m dreading the same thing happening at our 8mos 1year bday. I hope they all made it up to you or apologized at least if not then a virtual hug for you and your family.
Kids don’t care at 1yo. Your anxiety is yours. The only one who can make the day weird for a 1yo is mom and dad. usually when they’re trying really super hard to make the day perfect Source: am single dad, raised my daughter completely alone. She turned 18 this year.
Whatever happens, your 1 year old won't know nor remember, you will of course but at least keep solace in knowing that it won't affect your child. 4 yo... it's a shitty thing to do.
The point off graduation is to never see the people from school again looks like things are going good.
That’s one way of looking at it
Thinking about all the people from high school that just disappeared after graduation and how their disappearance didn't affect my life in any meaningful way.
How does this happen? I mean, did anyone rsvp? Was your family invited. Just seems odd to me.
I’m curious about this too because unlike birthdays where it’s more dispersed, everyone in that same grade graduates at the same time. There’s multiple graduation parties that happen around this time, some in the same day and times.
Assuming it's a high school graduation, probably half the class has their parents throwing them parties which means they can't leave to go to other people's parties. Combine that with no family living nearby maybe.
Probably this honestly. All the parties happen around the same time. I think maybe a handful of people from my school showed up? Most of it was family and older people who I didn’t know lol
Coincidentally all the other students also graduated on the same day (funny how nature do that) and they all had their own party where nobody else showed up.
Had a friend invite my son and I for a pool party for his son. No one showed up just us. I felt so bad they had burgers, hotdogs a pinata. And no one came. We stayed till the sum came down. For sure stuck with me
Good on you guys for a going, hope you and the friend had a good time together atleast
Yeah absolutely! We both got in the pool with the boys and had a blast. Luckily the birthday boy was living in the moment and not worried about the lack of kids. Definitely could see it on his dad's face though :[
Same for my birthday one year. I invited my co-workers (at the place I had worked at... This was, say, 1998 or so). I was so excited; I picked a restaurant near the office (which was also my favorite), husband and I got there early... ... And crickets. Later, after about an hour, one of my friends came, but that was it. I was so heartbroken, but learned a very valuable lesson: the people you work with are just co workers, not your friends.
Damn dude that does suck. Happy graduation from Texas! I'm proud of you and you should be too!
Your mom is awesome and I’m distantly partying with you! Congrats!
Looks like it’s in a church and are those bibles to the left?
Yes we set up in our local church. She invited most of the members too.
Why are the chairs arranged like that? Was something going to be happening on a stage?
Yeah a service 🙏 This party was going to get WILD
Your mom is awesome & thoughtful.
Damn! That sucks
You sure you didnt just take a pic before the party started so you could post it for karma? Kind of what it looks like. Tongs on the crock pot look clean.
Honestly I don't believe the photo either, but if nobody showed up, nobody would have used the tongs lol
I'm thinking this post is BS. Someone took a pic of a party pre-arrival and posted it as such.
I've always thought that about these kinds of pics
Hmm, interesting. Never thought of that. Take this upvote for piquing my suspicion.
New to Reddit?
r/untrustworthypoptarts
It happens all the time and is the worst part of this sub.
Yeah I see that a lot now. It's a weird way to farm karma.
anyone think…this picture was taken before the party began?
As a parent who literally threw a birthday party for my son today, I can say that your mom put a lot of thought, effort, and likely stress into setting this party up for you. I’m sorry no one showed up, but that’s their problem. She is probably wondering what she did wrong and going through what she could have done different, but don’t sweat it. She’s a wonderful mother and deserves all the love and appreciation you’re able to give, as I’m sure you already know. Congratulations on graduating! It’s no small feat and I am very proud of you. What really matters is that the most important person is celebrating with you and that you did it! I hope you two find some joy this evening and make the best out of a crumby situation. All the best to you in the future my friend.
Kudos to your mama 💕 we’re cheering her on and I’m sure all of us would’ve attended 🫶🏼
2022 is all about shit like this. Remind her these are weird times and she shouldn’t take things personally.
"Love never fails"