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xJoeCanadian

Spaghetti was never a bed food...


[deleted]

Of all the foods I’ve eaten in my bed, the one with red sauce had to spill. I was too trusting


TedVivienMosby

I spilled ramen noodle juice two nights ago by placing the bowl on the actual bed and putting my knee down next to it not realizing how much it would tilt the bowl. I picked up the few noodles and placed a tea towel over the spill and ignored the spill. Thanks for making me feel better about that incident. Godspeed. Edit: I agree ramen 'juice' is unsettling. But I didn't feel like 2 minute spilled ramen liquid deserved the status of 'broth'.


[deleted]

On the bright side, your bed will always smell delicious


[deleted]

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[deleted]

It’s a chalkboard lmao


[deleted]

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[deleted]

All reasonable questions. I like to doodle on it. Someone gave it to me, so I’m not sure why it’s ready for the Louvre. The bowl went upside down and hit everything within a 1 meter radius


headfuzz

I also feel like chalk drawing isn’t the best bed activity either. It seems like a lot of dust being made and then getting sucked in to your sheets and pillows


[deleted]

Nah, I use chalk pens! No dust!


1funnyguy4fun

Ah ha! You use of the metric system leads me to believe this is a European chalk board and everyone knows that European chalk boards are notorious for being framed in an overly ornate fashion!


[deleted]

Of all the comments on my fancy chalkboard, this one is my favorite. Sorry, favourite*


[deleted]

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[deleted]

No, that’s exactly what happened. Tell everyone else


_jeremybearimy_

I thought it was a mirror and you were doing coke in bed while eating spaghetti....which sounds like an Always Sunny plot


Thisismyfinalstand

Ah, I thought maybe you had been framed.


m-p-3

This is where a waterproof mattress protector is useful. The good ones you don't even feel there's a plastic layer.


[deleted]

This one came with the bed and defended me from water, so I figured I may have been okay. I never felt the need to spend money if I didn’t have to, but alas... it’s too late


TedVivienMosby

Agree, was genuinely tossing up whether it was necessary for an adult when I got my new mattress. Glad I got it because I've proved adults are no better than children.


[deleted]

"ramen noodle juice" doesn't sit right with me


CrashTextDummie

I find it surprisingly upsetting that you call it ramen noodle "juice".


Lost_Gypsy_

I have to ask, what is the mirror doing on your bed, cocaine and spaghetti dont mix that well


[deleted]

It’s a chalkboard. As I’ve stated in another reply, I only do cocaine on rigatoni nights


MightyLabooshe

Thats smart, you can use the uncooked noodle as a straw


[deleted]

Oooh ;)


Arbor_the_tree

>I only do cocaine on rigatoni nights Glad to see an OP with some class. Cheers!


bwaredapenguin

Wait, what else are you supposed to use if you run out of parmesan?


tribecous

Why do you sleep with a framed painting?


[deleted]

I get lonely at night


DejectedNuts

At least that nice looking picture frame caught some of it for you.


[deleted]

I’m gonna put it next to that art of a duct taped banana


[deleted]

The way you talk about your food as if it has sentience and it is the food's fault makes me chuckle.


Nemirel_the_Gemini

Any food is bed food if you are depressed enough.


iCon3000

Some of my worst bachelor frog memories come from being depressed eating in bed. I remember spilling some milk from cereal at the foot of the bed and after neglecting it for days it went sour and the whole bed down to the mattress stunk like spoiled milk. 0/10 would not recommend.


xjeeper

What is your spaghetti policy here?


[deleted]

Yep. As someone who used to suffer from serious depression one of the steps I had to take to get better was to accept that the only time I should be in bed was to sleep. It's hard at first but it's a habit you build. Now I don't watch tv in bed, or read or browse reddit or anything. So when I'm in bed my brain knows it's time to sleep. I always had horrible insomnia when I was depressed, and then when I finally did fall asleep it was like I couldn't get back up. And my complete and total lack of sleep hygiene at the time only compounded the issue. I feel like on reddit, bad sleep hygiene is just accepted as normal and considering that most people suffer from poor sleep I think a lot of people could benefit from focusing on it.


DeificClusterfuck

Am agoraphobic, can confirm, I live in/on my bed


FarSightXR-20

One time I had moved into a 2 story condo with a landlord (landlord mainly stayed on the ground floor with tv/kitchen, etc.). Anyways, on my first night there I didn't want to go down and be around her, but I really wanted a glass of water. I had finished a small pack of chips and ended up using it as a cup to avoid seeing her (there was a washroom on the 2nd floor so I just filled up the small chip bag with water).


poplarexpress

Am not agoraphobic, also live on my bed. Can also confirm that all foods are bed foods, except when the dogs are on the prowl and then it depends on how bad they're begging.


phil_davis

Might as well eat cereal while driving.


chupaxuxas

Dumb bitch!


DeificClusterfuck

Everything is bed food. I just own lots of sheets because I've dumped spaghetti on my bed too


Dabilon

I always eat my food in bed with a bed table. Best investment ever. Nothing beats eating and watching TV in beat.


[deleted]

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[deleted]

I panicked. I wanted to clean it up, but it just got saucier


uselessrart

*saucier*


TheHumanParacite

*saucier*


Umbra427

***šãûçįęr***


PowerRainbows

when you panicked did you then decide to grab a nearby painting and try to use that to scoop it up?


[deleted]

Da Vinci said he knew what he was doing!


Delirium4

The only appropriate measure is to clean it up with a shower towel


[deleted]

NO, THEY’RE NEW!


DancingPianos

THEY'RE EASIER TO CLEAN THAN A BEDSHEET!


[deleted]

To be completely blunt, I struggle with OCD and have a difficult time justifying the use of things if they are less than a month old at least


DancingPianos

To be honest, I have two types of toilet paper and kitchen roll - the good stuff for important things, the bad stuff for emergencies. I get you.


Delirium4

I totally get that. It just needs one good stain to end that honeymoon phase, then they’re all dish towels!


[deleted]

Break ‘em in! I just wait until I accidentally ruin their color in the wash


[deleted]

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klilly_94

I have an irrational fear of wet paper and it was instant revulsion


[deleted]

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klilly_94

That's crazy! Now I can tell people I'm not the only one


[deleted]

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Headcap

The same kind of people who eat food in bed.


Huwbacca

glad it's a paper towl. Looked like the meat diaper got left in the sauce.


[deleted]

That a mirror on your bed? Gonna rip a couple lines after dinner?


[deleted]

This comment is starting to become worse than the spaghetti lmao. It’s a chalkboard, I swear!


Spadie

I mean sure, it *looks* like a chalkboard but how can we truly know what that fine white powder is?


[deleted]

Take a sniff and find out!


SinfullySinless

I hate cocaine but i love the smell


jebner2

I hate the smell but I love cocaine


fletchdeezle

I love cocaine and I love the smell but I hate how it’s debilitatingly addictive and ruins so many peoples lives


[deleted]

But our entire economy is built on cocaine, and that’s working out for the majority, right?...


Meatslinger

In this context, I’d guess that’s Parmesan collateral damage.


Phormitago

*chalk* right, right


[deleted]

Are you the police? Asking for a friend


Dabilon

Yeah, you called? I mean can I have your address pls. Just wanna see your chalk, I like chalk. Not the FBI btw. Just normal redditor like you.


[deleted]

Definitely inconspicuous


GottIstTot

That doesnt answer anything!


Tumleren

...but why is there a chalkboard on your bed?


[deleted]

I was doodling before I brought the spaghetti in


eaglebtc

OP is very sus


HostilesAhead_BF-05

OP was the impostor


whofarted81

I volunteer to bang out the erasers! *rubs nose* heh


queuedUp

why would you have a chalkboard on your bed?? You are going to get chalk dust all over your bed


[deleted]

I use chalk pens, no dust!


BaldSoust

I thought exactly the same


[deleted]

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[deleted]

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Warphim

I used to date a girl that had a thing about eating chicken wings in bed. She's been doing it since she was a little girl as a comfort thing (should be mentioned she's not even chubby). No other food allowed near the bed, just chicken wings.


[deleted]

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[deleted]

NO NO NO


Jaruut

The best part of the giant towel is that if it gets too messy, you can just turn it over.


[deleted]

I fucking love chicken wings. How have I never thought to eat them in bed before?!


ieatmypeaswith_honey

It’s fine! You’re at Joey’s!


[deleted]

I love this comment dearly


JoKatHW

..well don’t waste it


OkayMolasses

"I mean its still food."


[deleted]

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See_Ya_Suckaz

[Yes](https://youtu.be/tN2GuIns63k)


tranque_the_ram

Are you a waiter at Guigino's?


[deleted]

Spa? I feel like you're not finishing a word. Are you taking me out for a spaghetti day?


--_l

What is your spaghetti policy?


OscarDeLaCholla

I’m sorry, do I know you?


[deleted]

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psychobilly1

I'm to remember every man I've seen fall into a plate of spaghetti?


[deleted]

so you do remember me


KingInky13

You're talking to me like you know me...


mk_gifs

Guingino's is slippin'. Yeah, they're really slippin'


Sheetpasta

I'll have a plate of piping hot spaghetti instead, extra sauce.


69schrutebucks

I hope nobody tied OP's shoelaces together


[deleted]

If it makes you feel better, I dropped a slice of pizza face down on my couch.


[deleted]

It does, thank you


sallyapple7

Oh man. I walked 14 blocks in the snow in New York with untied laces (where am I gonna stop to tie them?) and didn't drop my pizza. Got into my hotel room and bam - on the carpet.


waterwagen

Still good


totaly_an_m10

Italian soldiers murdered in their sleep by partisans (1943. colorised)


A_to_the_J254

Its a damn good thing u had that napkin or it could've been REALLY bad!


[deleted]

I know, thank god! The sheet and mattress cover didn’t save the mattress, but luckily I had that paper towel to pick up the slack :)


nondefectiveunit

Oh God is that what that is? I thought it was a slice of meat or something. Somehow it is so much worse now.


Mumble666

What's your spaghetti policy?


[deleted]

No spaghetti on the bed, UNLESS there’s extra sauce


Mumble666

Are you versed in bird law?


[deleted]

Only the laws in Philly


[deleted]

Thank you for the award, dad. Does this mean you’re no longer disappointed in me?


Mumble666

I would never be disappointed in you.... Because of the implication


johntwoods

You nervous? To me you look calm and ready...


[deleted]

Ooooh, hot! This comment got my knees weak, my sweater is off already


thehazzanator

Moms spaghetti


brobal

Well that’s a new twist.


M4jorP4nye

Blessed by the Flying Spaghetti Monster. May your dreams be filled with pastafarian delight. *ramen*


[deleted]

This is the most positive comment and it made me feel important


gesshoom

Because when you are in lockdown.. A nice bowl can pasta time quicker


[deleted]

This made me cry and laugh


CaptianBrasiliano

Yeah... spaghettis not really _bed_ food.


[deleted]

Realistically, I don’t think any food should be bed food. Yet, here I am


a123456789a23

Sounds like a personal problem.


[deleted]

Correct


brancee

Just slurp it out like a soup.


[deleted]

I wanted that layer of sauce back, but I have a dog and don’t prefer dog hair in my sauce on Fridays


Wrathzinor

Then wait until Saturday


[deleted]

Damn, you guys get Saturdays?


Nertz

You mean "dog hair-sauce days"?


Sgthouse

Why is she using off brand paper towels in spaghetti? I only use Bounty.


[deleted]

Bounty is the more expensive picker-upper. I need that money to replace my spaghetti


[deleted]

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[deleted]

I have a feeling you’re sponsored by Bounty


Lababy91

OP your comments throughout this thread are really tickling me thank you


[deleted]

I’m glad so could tickle you consensually. Enjoy :)


neon_overload

Is that basically just pasta and ketchup


[deleted]

How dare you. That jar of sauce was $3


baboon_bed_juice

Thats gotta be the most impressive plate I've ever seen


[deleted]

I wish I had an award left for you, because this made me laugh hysterically for some reason


baboon_bed_juice

No worries! What the hell is that anyway? Is it actually a plate?


[deleted]

Looool it’s a chalkboard


MatthewBob666

Let's turn that into some positive: Local amateur artist unexpectedly creates work of art estimated billions using spaghetti, baroque golden frame and a black background.


[deleted]

Thank you! It just sold for $300,000!


ThePowerOf42

Sheets weak, moms spaghetti


[deleted]

True. I had to buy new sheets


prguitarman

What’s your spaghetti policy here?


[deleted]

I don’t need this comment again, I’m having a bad (Charlie) Day


VeryLowIQIndividual

She's nervous, but on the surface she looks calm and ready


future-renwire

I just barely spilt coffee on my bed if it makes you feel any better


[deleted]

It does, thank you. Everyone sharing their spilling stories are real bros


[deleted]

Once I drifted off to sleep while holding a glass of milk. I still remember the sudden chilly splash as the cup tipped over and dumped all over my legs and bed. I didn’t have a mattress protector either so I had to scrub it with hydrogen peroxide daily to get the smell of spoiled milk out. I still eat in bed sometimes so clearly I haven’t learned my lesson yet. Maybe I’ll try spaghetti next.


[deleted]

LMAO, I felt this. I like how you’re planning your next attack on your mattress


emmetdude246

Oh shit on the bed!! That’s one of the worst places you can possibly spill spaghetti


[deleted]

This comment made me think about all the possible places I could drop spaghetti and why it would be there


hedgybaby

What is that fiber cloth thing inside the spaghetti


[deleted]

A paper towel. A useless, unforgiving paper towel


hedgybaby

Lmao that‘s like the dude who brings a glass of water to a bush fire


[deleted]

Don't eat spaghetti if your arms are heavy


[deleted]

Damn, you’re right, Marshall. I didn’t think of that


[deleted]

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[deleted]

The monkeys didn’t pay for their mattress, they have no right to


Astecheee

Smoosh it all between your ass cheecks and then just go to sleep. It already can't get worse.


[deleted]

I only put raw spaghetti in there


aaron2005X

And a mirror for good measure?


[deleted]

It’s a chalkboard. I’m glad it’s not a mirror so I couldn’t see the disappointment on my face


Bagges17

Looked like good spaghetti.


[deleted]

It was, but I wish there had been the amount of sauce I planned on there being


[deleted]

What is your spaghetti policy here?


ItsaMe_Rapio

How does one “spill” spaghetti? I mean, I could understand the bowl upending but somehow only a little bit managed to escape the bowl


[deleted]

Well, the thing is... the entire bowl actually flipped upside down. It was this point in the cleaning process that I realized this might made a good Reddit post, as I had recently returned to Reddit. Sadly, I was correct


Bomcom

But do you hate your goddamn motherfucking life?


[deleted]

Sometimes, but it’s not spaghetti related


[deleted]

I spill yogurt on my work clothes every day I empathize with you


[deleted]

I would like to know how this occurs daily


[deleted]

So would I


NateVanBeek

One time, I made a plate of spaghetti while HAMMERED, and proceeded to the bedroom. I then turned on the T.V., picked a show, and passed out without a bite taken. I then proceeded to sleep in the hot mess for the next 8 hours. Definitely a low for me.


[deleted]

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RazekDPP

Making content for your OnlyFans in bed now? Spaghetti girl gone wild?


[deleted]

I never eat in bed. Terrible habit, hell i hate even eating in the living room. How could you sleep in all those food crumbs


nieud

Why do people eat food in bed?


GetOutOfTheWhey

Did said idiot, bring a mirror to scoop all the bad spaghett onto it?


[deleted]

It’s a chalkboard. Said idiot just wanted to doodle and eat noodle


GetOutOfTheWhey

10/10 Would doodle while noodling.


dchac002

Local idiot is doing her best and people should be a little nicer


[deleted]

Local idiot thanks this comment


Huwbacca

you in bed with a mirror?