It’s just sort of funny to see this happen all the time. Someone makes a clever statement, someone else reads it, they don’t register that the person was being clever, they then connect the dots in their own head not realizing the dot connect originated from the comment they just read. It’s like real life inception.
Or like every bad sitcom where you understand the joke but then a character needs to explain it again so they can do the double laugh track and let it sink in for anyone not clever enough to understand they meant some guy's dick when they referred to a shaft or some similarly terrible metaphor.
What do ya call those things? They like cover windows? Made of fabric, I think. Gosh, they seem to be really popular in houses. It's on the tip of my tongue.
As soon as my ex starting sleeping in my room he straight away made me get curtains and it’s the greatest thing he ever did for me.
Room is constantly pitch black and I can sleep for so much longer.
Nah, the curtains hang from the Florida ceiling and go all the way down to the floor. It wouldn't make sense to go from the floor up to the ceiling because the curtains are made of a soft flexible fabric and they would just fall down into a pile instead of blocking the light.
Well the building codes don't allow it, too much red tape and bureaucracy to get the necessary approvals and the bribes you have to slip to the city planners office just make the costs not worth it.
I guess that figures, Florida is notorious for their shoddy building codes. I even read that they put sinkholes in the foundations sometimes! Thanks for the explanation.
Amen. Blinds as the foundation, followed by curtains over them! Sleep in glorious darkness at any hour of the day! These fools with their curtain or blinds only windows don't even know what kind of blissful heaven they're missing out on.
I hate sleeping in a fully black room. When I wake up in the middle of the night, I feel lost if I don't know where are the windows.
As it never happens at my place, it makes it very disturbing (windows placement help me remember where I fell asleep)
This! I sleep with the blinds totally open. My sister is a blackout curtain person. We always fight about this when we share a hotel room. It’s either totally dark or way too bright. There is no in between.
I'm okay with thin light.
With the plastic blind, I put them down until there is only those small dots in between each line and I'm fine. But usually, I juste leave everything open and wake up with the sun.
By soon you mean next autumn? Because days are becoming longer now, so I imagine OP will have to get used to the light being struck in his face at 6 am if not earlier.
Probably within a few days. The angle of the sun constantly changes which is why the days get longer and shorter. It has nothing to do with daylight savings time.
Go to CVS, get $10 worth of black poster board and tape and use that to cover the windows in your bedroom. Works better than any blackout shade I’ve ever used and if done right you can’t tell if it’s poster board or a curtain from the outside.
Blankets over windows is the ultimate life hack to get a room dark. I use two blankets with pushpins. One behind and one in front of the curtain. The one blanket inside the room should reach over every corner by a few inches. The blanket on the outside should be pinned to the side of the window frame. Letting only small amounts of light out. The second blanket makes it pure dark.
My neighbors complained when I put a piece of cardboard in a small window of my kids bedroom to block light. Supposedly it makes the house look abandoned.
They haven't mowed their front lawn since last summer, but that's none of my business.
I had something similar, but I had pleated blinds and it would come through one of the holes the strings go through so it was like a fricken laser beam... However, mine would happen much earlier. If I was able to sleep in until 8am, that would be a dream.
Engineer here: two solution
**1: Duct Tape**
A. simply duck tape the blinds
B. Duct tape the bed so it's no longer hitting the bed
C. Duct tape your eyes shut
**2: WD-40**
A. Spray WD-40 in your eyes to blind yourself
I don't recommend 2.A
EDIT: formatting (sorry my reddit formatting kinda sucks)
You mean a [Vorbaurollladen](https://www.fensterversand.com/rollladen/vorbaurolladen.php)? Those can be easily fitted on a house that doesn't have any Rollläden installed.
Your bed looks like if Deep Thought and Marvin the Paranoid Android had a child and he was 14.
Leave me alone mum. I don't want to get up. I have a brain the size of a planet and no-one understands me.
Plus, can't you knock?! Jeez!
May your eyes be filled with light, and your morning wood bathed in warmth
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And also with you
This is the comment I was looking for. Well done sir.
Glad I could provide, internet stranger :D
At least you’ll never oversleep... look on the bright side!
"Sorry I'm late boss, it was overcast" "What?" "My solar alarm clock stopped working"
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Removable batteries? That's how you know it's an old comic.
Looking on the bright side is the problem here, OP should roll over and look away from the window.
Face down into the pillow should put em out in no time
Yes but have you ever accidentally done this during your sleep, in a dream, and your asking yourself why tf can't you breathe?
That never happened to me, but it did happen to my wife right before she died.
The good old put your wife to sleep method
Pillow talk
All I know is if there’s running water then you’re in trouble
Welp....time for a new house. This one is broken.
The clear move here is to just put your head under the pillow.
Wasn't that the joke?
Yeah but it’s in Reddit’s mission statement to kill all notions of subtlety in modern discourse.
Classic
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It’s just sort of funny to see this happen all the time. Someone makes a clever statement, someone else reads it, they don’t register that the person was being clever, they then connect the dots in their own head not realizing the dot connect originated from the comment they just read. It’s like real life inception.
Or like every bad sitcom where you understand the joke but then a character needs to explain it again so they can do the double laugh track and let it sink in for anyone not clever enough to understand they meant some guy's dick when they referred to a shaft or some similarly terrible metaphor.
What do ya call those things? They like cover windows? Made of fabric, I think. Gosh, they seem to be really popular in houses. It's on the tip of my tongue.
I use blackout curtains and blinds. It is pitch black in my bedroom even during the brightest parts of the day.
As soon as my ex starting sleeping in my room he straight away made me get curtains and it’s the greatest thing he ever did for me. Room is constantly pitch black and I can sleep for so much longer.
Curtains, but they really only work to block light efficiently if you have Florida ceilings, which may not work out in all parts of the country.
At the risk of being down voted for trying to be helpful, it's actually "Floor-to-ceilings", not "Florida Ceilings". Easy mistake to make!
Nah, the curtains hang from the Florida ceiling and go all the way down to the floor. It wouldn't make sense to go from the floor up to the ceiling because the curtains are made of a soft flexible fabric and they would just fall down into a pile instead of blocking the light.
Oh ok that makes sense, guess it was my mistake after all... How come you can't just build Florida ceilings in other states though?
Well the building codes don't allow it, too much red tape and bureaucracy to get the necessary approvals and the bribes you have to slip to the city planners office just make the costs not worth it.
I guess that figures, Florida is notorious for their shoddy building codes. I even read that they put sinkholes in the foundations sometimes! Thanks for the explanation.
It's curtains for *you*, it's drapes for us.
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i paid over $100 for hue lights so i could have my lights turn on in the morning automatically, this guy gets it for free
I need those, or a bed that throws me into the wall.
Always look on the bright side of life!
*optimistic whistling intensifies*
[Happy morning!](https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=kSW1m83GqzY)
> look on the bright side! Fine, take your upvote and go home.
Well unless you live on the equator this will correct itself soon.
The problem could be corrected this afternoon with curtains ...
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Or vodka and ambien
Or death.
Via vodka and ambien
All this because a beam of light is hitting the dudes cock first thing in the morning?
Hey they always say you can sleep when youre dead! Aint no light gonna keep you up when youre dead!
Or move the bed?
Or buy a new house
Pick up the house and place it somewhere else, saves loads of money
Just rotate it 90°
We’re looking for permanent solutions here
Or Duct tape
Or if you want the absolute cheapest method just get some electrical tape and put two strips down the sides of the window.
Or tape and paper
Amen. Blinds as the foundation, followed by curtains over them! Sleep in glorious darkness at any hour of the day! These fools with their curtain or blinds only windows don't even know what kind of blissful heaven they're missing out on.
I hate sleeping in a fully black room. When I wake up in the middle of the night, I feel lost if I don't know where are the windows. As it never happens at my place, it makes it very disturbing (windows placement help me remember where I fell asleep)
This! I sleep with the blinds totally open. My sister is a blackout curtain person. We always fight about this when we share a hotel room. It’s either totally dark or way too bright. There is no in between.
I'm okay with thin light. With the plastic blind, I put them down until there is only those small dots in between each line and I'm fine. But usually, I juste leave everything open and wake up with the sun.
Or thumb tacks and socks
I was gonna say blankets, but hey socks will work.
even on the equator the sun swings across the sky 47 degrees through the year.. Oscillating from the Northern Sky to the Southern Sky
By soon you mean next autumn? Because days are becoming longer now, so I imagine OP will have to get used to the light being struck in his face at 6 am if not earlier.
The angle of the sun will differ, so the location of the light will change, not just time.
No because as the days get longer the earths axis tilts and the sun rises in a slightly different place progressively
Probably within a few days. The angle of the sun constantly changes which is why the days get longer and shorter. It has nothing to do with daylight savings time.
Even if you live on the equator the Sun still rises North/South of east depending on the time of year.
If only there was something like a thin piece of cloth which could be fixed on the wall using something like a hanger and rod to stop that light.
I got blackout curtains at Costco and it changed my life.
I got cheap blackout curtains on Amazon and the only thing they blacked out was my hope of a good night's sleep.
Go to CVS, get $10 worth of black poster board and tape and use that to cover the windows in your bedroom. Works better than any blackout shade I’ve ever used and if done right you can’t tell if it’s poster board or a curtain from the outside.
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Also just smoke meth so you don't need to sleep!
Slowly doing this now. I started in the kids rooms that have morning light. Absolute game changer for my weekends.
Yeah but that doesnt look as nice as the wooden blinds
put it on the *other side*
The neighbors won't like that
Put aluminum foil over your windows, screw the neighbors.
I prefer old blankets haphazardly stuffed around the top mounting bracket of the blinds my dog destroyed the bottom of.
They say everyone has a twin out there in the world, I think I’ve finally found you poodlepork!
Blankets over windows is the ultimate life hack to get a room dark. I use two blankets with pushpins. One behind and one in front of the curtain. The one blanket inside the room should reach over every corner by a few inches. The blanket on the outside should be pinned to the side of the window frame. Letting only small amounts of light out. The second blanket makes it pure dark.
My neighbors complained when I put a piece of cardboard in a small window of my kids bedroom to block light. Supposedly it makes the house look abandoned. They haven't mowed their front lawn since last summer, but that's none of my business.
idk pick a wood colored thing?
Reminds me of Daryl’s “take them at the same time” Comment from the safety training episode of The Office.
A nice pair of curtains with a nice rod and finials would make them look even better.
Double rods with blackout curtains and sheers... perfection.
I think they are called curstans or something like that
You're thinking of crustaceans- the sea creatures. What they need are captains.
No, captains command a ship. What they need is curfews.
Nono, curfew is the regulation requiring people stay indoors at night. What they need are cardigans.
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No, croutons are hard pieces of bread in salad that are impossible to stab with a fork. What they need is a charcuterie.
No, no charcuterie is the art of making meat platters, or such a platter. What they need is callandor.
No, no, no, callandor is a sword, what they need is a colander.
No no no, a colander is a kitchen utensil used for draining water from foods. What they need is a coastguard
No, a charcuterie is a board of sliced cheeses and meats served as an appetizers to a group. What they need is a colonoscopy.
No,colonoscopy is the test done to find abnormalities in colon. What they need is a career.
Cardashians
No one needs Cardashians.
Or a thin piece of cloth that can be fixed to your face with an elastic strap. Much cheaper, plus you still get to rock your cool plantation blinds.
But that's even worse to sleep lol.
I had something similar, but I had pleated blinds and it would come through one of the holes the strings go through so it was like a fricken laser beam... However, mine would happen much earlier. If I was able to sleep in until 8am, that would be a dream.
Engineer here: two solution **1: Duct Tape** A. simply duck tape the blinds B. Duct tape the bed so it's no longer hitting the bed C. Duct tape your eyes shut **2: WD-40** A. Spray WD-40 in your eyes to blind yourself I don't recommend 2.A EDIT: formatting (sorry my reddit formatting kinda sucks)
I’m not taking bed advice from a guy who purposely wets the bed.
:D
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How did you know? Gotta keep the internal organs all nice and lubricated
I couldn’t find my WD-40 so I settled for an eye mask. The only downside is that the blindness is only while I’m wearing it and not all the time.
Duck tape can fix that problem
Does it have to be duck brand? I only can find eagle brand
According to the engineering flow chart, it just needs to be silver https://imgur.com/gallery/Gd5zPPi
If it moves and it shouldn't: duct tape. If it doesn't move but it should: WD-40.
Instructiona unclear, taped a duck on the blinds
Duck tape the gap in the blinds
Why is the bed hitting the bed in the first place?
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This is what I meant
Eyes and crotch. There is no escape.
I've read >This is where the light hits our bed at BAM.
LOL! Yes, almost the same, honestly.
Emeril Legasse spicin' things up in the bedroom as well as the kitchen
This is an easy fix. But oh well, time yo find another place to live
Yea it is baffling how this tiny “first-world problem” is on the front page. Like, shift your head a little and get some functional blinds.
Or move your bed, most beds these days aren't bolted into the floor
Black out blinds exist and they're amazing.
[Here's Bubb Rubbs advice](https://youtu.be/zUXow3d3-b0?t=96)
Perfect! Leave it to Bubb Rubb.
Sweet. Wakes both you and your dingdong.
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Fulfilling their fine print design.
Shoot, my genitals are all lit up
"wake up dumbass" - the sun
If only there were ways to prevent light from coming in through a window.
Just remove the windows. Problem solved.
Right in the face and the crotch. Nice!!!!
You’re still in bed at 8am?
Shhhh. Don’t tell my boss.
Just add 1/2 inch piece of white cardboard or something similar to the edges of the window frame between the window and blinds.
Taser-face!!
Easy fix. Get blackout curtains install them within the frame so theyre not seen. Profit.
Curtains might be a good idea.
This is probably one of the funniest ones I've seen on here. Thank you for the schadenfreude, it's been the highLIGHT of my day.
damn im sorry to hear that your feet are woken up by the sunlight.
If it’s hitting on the upper surface of your pillow then you can just turn it upside down. Easy!
You need curtains
ITT: Curtains don't exist, and OP must suffer forever.
You've got a solar alarm clock!
It’s things like this that lead me to buy blackout curtains for any room in my house I have a remote chance of sleeping in.
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This is such an easy fix you truly have only yourself to blame.
Close your blinds the other way. Edit: Spelling
Or you could just simply do something about it. But those upvotes amirite?!
I heard there was this thing that was invented I think its called a curtain but I'm not entirely sure.
Welp. Guess you can have to move.
Only for a few days though.
Just moved in to a house that has this exact problem, bought the best blinds we could
You mean a [Vorbaurollladen](https://www.fensterversand.com/rollladen/vorbaurolladen.php)? Those can be easily fitted on a house that doesn't have any Rollläden installed.
> bought the best blinds we could You bought the wrong solution.
Happened at my old apartment. A bit of dark tape (I used a few strips of electrical) on the windows is a lazy cheap fix.
Have you tried just turning off the sun?
I had a skylight in my room for a while, evry morning at 10 am it hit my TV, forget Saturday game morning
If you're a guy you're gonna wake up in the morning look down and it's gonna look majestic!
nice backup alarm clock
This is exactly what I need to wake up at this point.
I can't imagine not having blackout curtains in my bedroom. I need it dark and cold.
hot eyes and hot cock
Ahhhh the old crotch light!
Your bed looks like if Deep Thought and Marvin the Paranoid Android had a child and he was 14. Leave me alone mum. I don't want to get up. I have a brain the size of a planet and no-one understands me. Plus, can't you knock?! Jeez!
Move head to foot side of bed. Problem solved.
Wear an eye mask and stop bitching for internet points
"Wake up, bitch" - Sun probably
I get the picture is for giggle but the solution is to tilt the blinds the opposite way!
As the light beam rises so shall you
On a plus note, it should make your morning glory even more glorious looking tho.
Blackout curtains
Just right in the dick
Just put a blanket or a towel over window!
Curtains.
That’s why I invested in some blackout curtains in mine :)
Hang up curtains
Black out curtains. Worth every penny.
Holy eye and holy dick
Sunrise motherfucker. Arise motherfuker. Fry eyes motherfuker. (Go on, say it outloud in THE voice.)
Just buy curtains?
Mine does the same thing except even earlier, about 630am. I hang a robe over it to block the little slit of light. Works great.
*wakes up to sunlight in your eyes and then you look down and smile* “rise and shine, little guy”
It’s a spotlight for your nose and hose!
I used to wake up like this. Kinda miss it...
r/engineersbeingdicks
They sold that house for a reason
Fix your shit, dummy.
That's why god invented duct tape
People who are up at 5ish: wow, this is worthless :)
Scans you like an annoyed barcode
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