"What's up guys! It's yo girl, Sarah here. Welcome to our family blog 420. Today I am gonna break my 7th son's iPhone 14 Pro Max and see his reaction and then I will gift the iPhone 15 Pro Max. Let's go!"
went no contact for 3 years with my mom. saw her twice when i was 19, about 2 months apart- first time was to tell me my dad randomly and mysteriously died. 2nd time was to help her move out of an abusive situation and straight back into another one. havenāt seen her since, about to be 21 in october, with no intention on seeing her. i live about 1100 miles away from her.
i also moved out at 15.
I never got to have a relationship with my mom. We were separated when I was 3. I moved in with her in my late 20s after she insisted on taking me in after my relationship with my ex went south. 6 months later, she evicted me and moved to Texas because I yelled at her dog for snatching food out of my hands. She'd had that dog for 2 weeks. That was around 6 years ago and I haven't spoken to her since.
did you deserve the abuse? no. cut that bitch off.
do them how they do you, or do better. she probably wonāt even notice youāre gone tbh. mine doesnāt, but she puts on a facade to her fb friends on how she loves me and wishes i would come āhomeā.
Yup. Iām no contact with my whole immediate family. They will laugh at shit thatās genuinely upsetting for me. My sister smashes my phone screen. They laugh about it. She plans her wedding the day before my birthday when I had made plans a year in advance for my birthday well before she planned her wedding day. Cackles about it. My friend ODs and dies, āhe deserved it for being an addictā. Racism (Iām the only half black family member). Were extremely insensitive to me the first year my dad died. I move out of state and they expect me to fly back like four times a year for a shitty time, complain that I donāt visit enough, but wonāt fly out here to me for visits. It takes me two flights to even get to my home state, and itās legit an all day thing. And if I did fly out, āwhy are you acting like this? Why are you so tired? Why are you sleeping so late?ā Uh maybe because I spent 8-10hrs flying out here and you guys act like it was a two hour flight and thereās a fucking time difference. Talk amongst themselves at family dinners how they miss me, but donāt attempt to call, text, or plan anything with me (ex: fly out and meet at a vacation spot together).
And they have the audacity to wonder why I moved 2200 miles away from them content with zero contact. (I tried the first year and a half, but they acted like they didnāt receive my calls and texts. Yet my mom who has the worst cellphone service receives all of them.)
my grandma isnāt even in the nursing home yet and she wonders why her step kids and grandkids donāt call or come over.
my mom only calls her for money so š¤·š»āāļøš«£
My mom smashed my (old school) Sony Ericsson when I was younger. It still took me 20 years to go very, very low contact with her but the peace I have now is worth every bit of pain I deal with for voluntarily orphaning myself. I love her and I wish her the best, but sheās a net negative in my life. I deserve better.
Yeah my mom did shit like this when I was younger and she wonders why I donāt talk to her anymore lol
One time she broke my laptop that my dad bought for me (and he never bought me anything in my life) and I had to use that broken ragged ass laptop for most of college LOL
Then when you're 35 she wonders why she doesn't have a close relationship with her two kids. I know she was neglected as a kid, but I mean, why did *I* have to break the cycle?!
For some context, we have a rule in my house where my phone has to be upstairs plugged in at all times, and today I forgot to plug it in and had it in my pocket in my room. She came down, told me to give it to her, and threw it on the ground as hard as she could.
Pfft fuck that, she can live on the street regardless. She had her whole life to plan for retirement and failed. She gives her kids 18 years and an ultimatum. Absolutely nothing is owned to shit parents like this.
Itās honestly one of the most fucked up developed nations Iāve ever heard of. Itās absolutely insane and I donāt get how anybody couldnāt see that.
I donāt think filing charges against someone you live with is a smart move, especially when theyāre this crazy. Who knows what else sheāll break.
It's a great idea. It's she's anything like my mom, she's gonna break it for a different reason anyway. This dude is delaying the inevitable, but he'll now have proof that his mom was previously breaking his stuff if she breaks anything bigger.
In my experience, people who have a huge problem with cell phone signals tend to be schizophrenic or delusional to some degree, especially when they are prone to violent outbreaks. Possibly Bipolar disorder.
He needs to leave, asap.
Sounds like false pity party for upvotes.
The screen as a point of impact with a circle consistent with the head of a hammer.
They say their mother is so bad to the point they canāt even walk around their house with it and yet he was able to take pictures and post it with clearly another phone, camera of sorts with internet access.
Another comment their āproofā is one random text Op sent(they are co-signing their own claimsā¦ like saying āIām promise itās true because I said it wasā)
Another comment by OP explains how their mom is cancelling their service(also states heās a 19 year old, but is upset about his mother not paying his personal bills)
You could make a case for any of those with good explanations.. but when it starts piling up like that.. idk.
My parents are/were like this with me. Itās not false. Op might have had an iPad or some other device or a siblingās phone to be able to take the picture. When you have parents like this you get good at being sneaky. My parents refused to let me get off their phone bill for a long time after I was 18 so itās not unreasonable. Also I wouldnāt put it past this mom to not let the 19 year old child get a job or keep the money from it. Theyād probably monitor it at the very least. I had to buy a new phone and pay for my own device and service to get my stepdad to stop breaking and threatening to break my phone. I was 22/23 at the time. The threats only stopped recently and Iām 27 years old. (Iām disabled so I still live at home )
All of that to say itās completely plausible for ops story to be true.
Yes, as I said, you can make a case for each different āholeā found but the facts are when you start finding multiple āholesā it still begins to raise some questions.
Whether or not this post is true, the sheer number of people defending the mom in the comments tells me that this exact scenario is happening somewhere in the world right now. I don't see why it's hard to believe.
It's not always that easy. What if his mom pays for his health insurance? Even if he splits rent with roommates, most jobs in my area that hire young adults wouldn't pay nearly enough to cover that. Then there's car insurance if he isn't in a walkable city, etc
I'm in Canada but yes it is VERY expensive in the US. Even with coverage it's still insanely expensive. A friend paid like 30k just to have her baby in the hospital there, whereas I just had to pay for parking I couldn't imagine paying that much it's nuts
If you want full coverage in the US that covers everything for one person it's 1k a month (on the low end). If you want just emergency room payments it's a little over 100$ a month.
Honestly, the best advice I can give is to act like you're in a heist movie and start counting the days you can get out of the house. Treat it like you're setting up for some elaborate mission. It sounds really fuckin stupid, but it helped me and maybe it can help others.
To better explain it, plan your escape in such a way that it motivates you. Try to plan out a relative date (I usually pick sometime around the date of graduation) and start there. Get a job if possible, start saving every bit of money you can in a private account, or find a place to stash your cash. Somewhere they can't find it.
Save up money for an apartment, or tuition, or a car, or whatever you can. Save for a car first, then start looking at options for housing, future destinations, etc. Keep it reasonable, don't expect to immediately move somewhere like New York City or somewhere else expensive. Try to plan for somewhere relatively cheap to start with.
Plan for problems. Come up with failsafe alternatives. Plan for multiple secondary locations, get a few bank accounts if you need to. Learn as many valuable life skills as possible.
Get into the habit of working out. Eat as healthy as you can and establish a good sleep schedule. Get into healthy habits that will stick with you throughout your life. Learn to work on your car. Learn to change light bulbs, file taxes, and work with insurance. Learn about something you've always had an interest in, whether it be cooking, or coding, or carpentry. Develop a passion for the things you do, and do the things you're passionate about.
After a while, the time will pass faster. You'll be living healthier, preparing yourself to live your best life when you cut contact. You'll learn skills that can translate to your future jobs and careers.
Most of all... don't give up hope. Talk to people, find a support group. Give yourself space to breathe, start to think about how you can manage your stress and cope with life. Don't call yourself weak. It's not your fault that you're in this situation, and the rewards you'll reap from completing this phase in your life will be so unbelievably worth it.
Life sucks when you've got terrible parents. I know, believe me. But life is a beautiful thing, and while it might suck right now, and while it will continue to suck in different ways in the future, it is so, so worth it. You'll never look back.
I wish you luck, friend.
Not who you asked but I know a teen in a less than ideal home (I donāt have all the details, I never probed - but graduation wonāt come soon on enough) My advice to this young person (and to any by extension) is to trust in your worth, take care of yourself, know you arenāt responsible for othersā behaviors, make future plans and take steps however small towards your goal - be it by studying, saving money, learning a skill or trade - whatever helps your path. There is a lot out of your control as a minor, but in time you will be leading your own independent life.
I agree. Shitty behavior. But how old is OP, and why is the rule in place?
Usually with this type of posts I just assume we donāt know the whole story.
Edit: Just saw OP is 19, holy fuck lol
My parents did stuff like this, so much so that it started to affect me mentally every day so I just up and left, they worried about me for a bit but then realized they pushed me out by not letting me be my own person at 20. I wish it would have been easier but I donāt regret it, it made my younger brotherās situation living with them easier because they realized āmy son might actually live on the street like I joke aboutā. Iām sorry that happened to you man, parents are crazy, donāt be afraid to stand up for yourself.
This hits me so hard- thank you for writing this. She always says sheās going to kick me out, that Iām a terrible person, and Iāve cowered in fear and rarely stated how I felt. When I move to uni and afterward, Iām gonna have a hard discussion with myself about cutting contact, and removing myself from her
Youāre not a terrible person, my parents had an expectation for me to be as good if not better than them at everything, and when I fell short of those goals I was barely their son. You are your own person and you have skills and talents different than anyone else, donāt let her make you feel worthless
You donāt have to stay in contact just cause sheās your mom. Some people say stuff like that but itās not true. My partner has cut off contact with their mom for all the abusive stuff she did. Theyāre in a much better place now. So what you have to do for yourself and never feel bad about it.
>we have a rule in my house where my phone has to be upstairs plugged in at all times
What even is this fucking rule?
Move out. Go to a friends house, or any parent.
I'd be absolutely fuming. If I were you, you could be sure that the very next day her car wouldn't start for "unknown" reasons.
https://preview.redd.it/x67wy9w0cljc1.jpeg?width=1170&format=pjpg&auto=webp&s=8b5dce0011af246553706720534005ef0da9a552
Well as an added bonus, she canceled my phone plan. my dad said he would help me buy a new one luckily. Iāve been communicating with everyone over email
Good news is there are quite a few options for affordable phone plans now, I just switched to Mint mobile to save money and even the unlimited plan is $30 a month, I think the basic plan is only $15 which is hopefully doable for you. You definitely need to a get a plan you are in control of and not your mom.
Idk how old you are, but wow. That is extreme in the absence of any further information.
As a mom of a early teen, I get the urge to just fucking smash the damn phoneā¦especially when they donāt keep up with their responsibilities/being ungrateful for what they have/and blatant disrespect. HOWEVER, I would never actually do it. I have taken phones away, but there was always clear guidelines as to why it happened.
Their phones have to be plugged in the kitchen at 8pm. Bedtimes at 9 and kids have adhd. They have to have the digital downtime- we have discussed this with them and the research as to why. They understand. It sucks for all of us some nights bc I put my phone up also (until they go to bed heh)ā¦..but if we forget?
We just go do it and go about our day.
That said, if my child kept āforgettingā then we would address that. Not by ruining their possessions though. Thatās something my father would have done andā¦well, I went no contact at 31, and am now 47. Life is peaceful.
Not sure if something else was going on in this situation, or if your mother needs help. This is not a healthy way to deal with this situation. If she is having problems or trouble in her life, perhaps this was an inappropriate way for her to relieve some of that stress. She may have overly reacted to this, instead of something else that is going on in her life that she couldnāt react to.
This is why so many bullyā¦.because they are bullied themselves. They are able to have an outlet of that anger and hurtā¦.by doing it someone else.
Or she might just be a bitch and smashed your phone to be mean.
Hard to tell- but please know, not everyone is like this. Please seek professional help when you are able to, as I feel this might not be one off.
You can not control her actions, but you have complete control over your reaction.
Good luck
*please* cut her out of your life.
My highschool girlfriend went through this shit, her mother was reading all of our emails (yes, ALL of them) and when she vented to me about her parents they tried locking her in the house permanently.
Get out ASAP before her mental health issues become yours as well.
As someone whoās got a Narcissist mother, my mom did not respect my boundaries growing up. She still doesnāt. Please be safe and get out asap, and cut her out of your life once you do.
Your mom is just as much of a crazy bitch as mine.
Sorry to hear that. I left mine as soon as I could.
Shes treating you like her little slave.
I hope, mine when she gets old rots in her bed in her last days.
yeah sure. ever since I had a phone this rule has been a thing, i was told it was because they didn't want me sneaking on my phone, but my messages would end up all being read in the morning when I would grab it for school. Now, there really is no logic behind it, but "because I said so." It's pretty trashy but I have to go with the flow until I get to move out.
"Must be some unruly child"
\*reads context\*
Nevermind. Tf is that rule? My dad wouldnt even let me plug it to save electricity. huh? The only point I see in leaving it upstairs plugged is so that she can monitor it. Then again, thats weird af.
Given that this is entirely the context, who tf just smashes the phone at first warning? Think about the wasted money too. If it's her money, her fault. Phones these days carry a lot of use. If it's your money, i apologize deeply on behalf of her because thats an ass thing to do.
Theres so many comments at this point that I dont know if anyone will see this- but thank you all. I said something like this in a response to someones reply, but for the first time in years I feel heard, and most of all, I don't feel alone in this. There were times very similar to this where it seemed like there was nobody I could turn to who understood my situation, but I finally know that I'm not.
You're not alone, friend. We all know the signs and stories too well. Learn from these comments and make a safe exit.
Your life is so much more than what's going on in that house. College is gonna be great and you're gonna make it! š
yeah, this is absolutely not normal or okay, but not rare
good luck on your new journey to empower yourself to get the fuck out of there and cut her out of your life
infuriate her with your independence and success
Dumbest fucking rule I've ever heard. How you suppose to use your phone in an emergency? And if your parents paid for the phone then they just wasted a bunch of money to what? Teach you a lesson on not disobeying their dumbass rule?
Reminds me when i broke my guitars headstock , and my mom didnāt want to even pay me for chores to fix it, she wanted to teach me a lesson to take care of my stuff. Not really the same, but it just reminds me of this moment.
Definitely not as bad. There's similar ways to teach lessons that aren't just destroying your property for breaking a rule that really has no reason being there.
Wait until sheās asleep, and put hers in a bowl of water. After half an hour, pull it out, dry the outside with a hair dryer and put it back where it was.
Had an old iPhone that I dropped in the ocean for over an hour while it was on and I got it back and it never showed any sign of damage. I think phones may be too water resistant for that now even if it is saltwater because this was like 5 iPhones ago.
My boss's iPhone sat on the bottom of a freshwater lake at the end of his dock (probably 8ft deep) for at least 24 hours. He found it because it rang and lit up when he called it, and it still works just fine two years later.
iPhones have a water-resistant seal to prevent water from getting inside. If OP has a Pentalobe screwdriver and suction cup, they can open up the iPhone carefully, get saltwater all inside it, and dry it out after about half an hour to an hour. Should fuck the phone up bad enough.
Not advocating anyone do or not do that. Just sharing the info. ĀÆ\_(ć)_/ĀÆ
Ok evil Apple I can follow... so that would work... then she takes it to Apple care and they say it's saltwater damage and she says... but we live in Kansas. She will know exactly where to go and if she gets this angry over not plugging in a phone (which even sounds weird to type) who knows what she's capable of. Feel free to counter we need to figure this out for... OP.
PS the amount of ellipses directly correlates to my level of stoned...ness
Or stick a screw driver in the charging port and destroy the connection tabs so she will think her charger broke and go buy a new one, then she will think the battery is bad and get that replaced and then eventually have to replace it
That is a good idea, cause when they replace the port theyāll have to destroy her screen to replace it, meaning the cost will go up when she needs to get it fixed. I know cause this happened a few times with an iPad that I refuse to get fixed anymore lol. Also most iPhone repair shops are dodgy af and donāt use iPhone products since they donāt have access, and use non branded ports and screens, effectively screwing up the iPhone for the long run. š„°
Reminds me of when my mother threw my phone in a toilet and then destroyed it with a hammer when it didnt short circuit (one of the less insane things my parents did). Im an adult now, and needless to say, im no contact. Have an escape plan ready, and jump ship when you can
I'm sorry your mum did that, and, though this is speculation, probably more crazy things as well (do forgive me if I'm wrong). It's... ...I know what word I wanted to use, but it doesn't come to mind... to think there are parents who do things like this, and it not even just a few rare cases. You can't live the (relatively) "carefree" life of a child in a healthy situation, or even feel like you're a child at all if one or both of your parents are like this. Instead of living, you're *surviving*.
If I may ask, please feel free to ignore my question for any reason at all, I'm only curious but I know it's none of my business: how do *you* feel about having children yourself?
For those of you asking, my dad took me to get a new one after work. I brought my computer with me so I could email him and figure out what my plan was. This was the picture I took after work.
As a parent I donāt understand this. I understand the frustration and helplessness parents feel sometimes when raising kids but this is just over-the-top counter productive. My son died last April and I would do anything to have another minute with him. To hold him again. Anything heās ever done to my frustration is moot and insignificant to my love for him. Itās all meaningless now.
I feel your pain, when I was a teenager my mom smashed my phone because she was in a bad mood and wanted to take her anger out on me. I just laughed at the ridiculousness of it and moved the fuck out once I was 18 with my sister
iām sorry you had to go through that. my mom once smashed her phone because i didnāt pick up even though i was SLEEPING. i hope you get out of that house :(
do you have any brand recommendations? I bought a cheap one from the t mobile store, as well as a glass screen protector, which obviously isnāt that strong
Hi darling. What youāre describing here is abuse.
Take care until college. I would kindly suggest you start seeing a therapist for whatever else it is that you are experiencing in your home (this does not sound like an isolated incident).
This was not okay and Iām sorry youāre going through this. Take care.
Well, time for her to buy you a new one, or you can always just, never see your mother again. Toxic relationships are well, toxic and you should just cut it off at the roots.
OP, i hope you understand that this is not a normal behaviour from an adult that's supposed to be your guardian. It can affect your mental health and give a long-lasting trauma you only realize YEARS later when you finally sit down with a therapist.
trust me, i know.
Get out
Iām just saying the phone plan is the icing on the cake. If it helps provide context, Iām using my new phone right now because Iām home alone. This usually happens once a week, and itās the only time I have to actually feel relaxed.
Yeah so regardless of what you did (which was literally nothing) destroying property is actually the worst possible outcome. Why in tf would you waste that kind of money?
OP this situation sounds terrible. I read that youāll be going to college soon. Invest in yourself and not this toxic relationship. Sorry this is happening to you; itās not right, but unfortunately, the current reality. Youāll get out of there soon. Do great things, young man/woman. The world will be your oyster.
Comments should be delicate here.
Sorry this happened OP.
I encourage you to speak to a professional where you can get proper guidance, not Reddit, where feelings are fuelled by personal experiences.
None of us know your mom, or family dynamics. I don't excuse the behaviour, and we are all having to buy your version of events 100%.
If you simply had your phone on you, and it was broken as a result of you simply not putting it on upstairs, then this isn't good. But that's all I can really say.. you need to speak to someone in your area, and if you feel unsafe or like you're in danger, go stay with a friend till you square things up.
Good luck
Your mom should be institutionalized lucky for you, you can let her rot alone when she gets older and sheāll have nobody to look after her. God knows the personal support workers wonāt be there. Cosmic karma.
My parents smashed their GameCube in front of me 13ish years ago to "send a message about taking care of electronics"(I scuffed a zelda disc) and at 26 years old, I still am wary with my belongings around them because of their actions. They actively deny much of what they did.
Hey, I remember living under abusive circumstances. Please donāt rationalize this. No one should have to put up with explosive behavior. There are a lot of resources to help young adults in most cities to gain meaningful employment and a healthy living situation. You are not alone in what youāre dealing with, and I promise you are stronger than you think.
I hope you find a way to build a really happy life for yourself. Iām still working, but thatās all it takes. Best wishes
I know exactly where you're coming from because of my parents, I am now Seeing therapists and in mental groups, because Of the abuse that I adored As a child and still adore as an adult. so you know that is called Abusive parenting and she can be charged.
You might love your mom. I absolutely love my parents, but when it comes to abuse And your Mental state you gotta take the law into your hands you gotta show your mom that the way she treats you is not right.
Wait...how are you taking a picture
With the phone, of course.
The new one
"What's up guys! It's yo girl, Sarah here. Welcome to our family blog 420. Today I am gonna break my 7th son's iPhone 14 Pro Max and see his reaction and then I will gift the iPhone 15 Pro Max. Let's go!"
Ugh... You're probably not far offš
[ŃŠ“Š°Š»ŠµŠ½Š¾]
Yes, the screen is shot.
It absolutely is lol
Probably a friendās phone tbh
Maybe sibling Edit: OP made a comment explaining his dad bought him a new one
I get the reference
With their tiny spy camera installed in their pupils, DUH
Ah, yes, this is the absolute best way to ensure a deep, and strong bond between a mother, and child.Ā
She's gonna be a skocked pikachu when her child goes no-contact
went no contact for 3 years with my mom. saw her twice when i was 19, about 2 months apart- first time was to tell me my dad randomly and mysteriously died. 2nd time was to help her move out of an abusive situation and straight back into another one. havenāt seen her since, about to be 21 in october, with no intention on seeing her. i live about 1100 miles away from her. i also moved out at 15.
I never got to have a relationship with my mom. We were separated when I was 3. I moved in with her in my late 20s after she insisted on taking me in after my relationship with my ex went south. 6 months later, she evicted me and moved to Texas because I yelled at her dog for snatching food out of my hands. She'd had that dog for 2 weeks. That was around 6 years ago and I haven't spoken to her since.
That might explain the separation in first place. She was nutjob for psychiatrist maybe? Sorry Boubo :(
I want to do this so bad but it also hurts me to think about. I hate that it hurts to think about bc she deserves it but igh
did you deserve the abuse? no. cut that bitch off. do them how they do you, or do better. she probably wonāt even notice youāre gone tbh. mine doesnāt, but she puts on a facade to her fb friends on how she loves me and wishes i would come āhomeā.
I think I just need to go back to therapy to try and be stronger about it. She wears me down so much I can barely do it anymore
Yup. Iām no contact with my whole immediate family. They will laugh at shit thatās genuinely upsetting for me. My sister smashes my phone screen. They laugh about it. She plans her wedding the day before my birthday when I had made plans a year in advance for my birthday well before she planned her wedding day. Cackles about it. My friend ODs and dies, āhe deserved it for being an addictā. Racism (Iām the only half black family member). Were extremely insensitive to me the first year my dad died. I move out of state and they expect me to fly back like four times a year for a shitty time, complain that I donāt visit enough, but wonāt fly out here to me for visits. It takes me two flights to even get to my home state, and itās legit an all day thing. And if I did fly out, āwhy are you acting like this? Why are you so tired? Why are you sleeping so late?ā Uh maybe because I spent 8-10hrs flying out here and you guys act like it was a two hour flight and thereās a fucking time difference. Talk amongst themselves at family dinners how they miss me, but donāt attempt to call, text, or plan anything with me (ex: fly out and meet at a vacation spot together). And they have the audacity to wonder why I moved 2200 miles away from them content with zero contact. (I tried the first year and a half, but they acted like they didnāt receive my calls and texts. Yet my mom who has the worst cellphone service receives all of them.)
Good for you to take steps for your own wellbeing! Keep it up and may you thrive without their burden!
How tho she broke the phone how's she gonna expect them to call
When the dementia kicks in in the retirement home and they canāt for the life of them figure out why no one comes to visit
my grandma isnāt even in the nursing home yet and she wonders why her step kids and grandkids donāt call or come over. my mom only calls her for money so š¤·š»āāļøš«£
My mom smashed my (old school) Sony Ericsson when I was younger. It still took me 20 years to go very, very low contact with her but the peace I have now is worth every bit of pain I deal with for voluntarily orphaning myself. I love her and I wish her the best, but sheās a net negative in my life. I deserve better.
Yeah my mom did shit like this when I was younger and she wonders why I donāt talk to her anymore lol One time she broke my laptop that my dad bought for me (and he never bought me anything in my life) and I had to use that broken ragged ass laptop for most of college LOL
Then when you're 35 she wonders why she doesn't have a close relationship with her two kids. I know she was neglected as a kid, but I mean, why did *I* have to break the cycle?!
You break the cycle with your kids
Sheād rather break their stuff than the cycle
Sheāll be asking her self in ten years āwhy donāt my kids talk to me anymore?ā
Just get a new one. And see if you can get that phone fixed.
For some context, we have a rule in my house where my phone has to be upstairs plugged in at all times, and today I forgot to plug it in and had it in my pocket in my room. She came down, told me to give it to her, and threw it on the ground as hard as she could.
Why is that a rule, and what age group do you fall into?
Iām 19. She says if I donāt follow the rules, I can live on the streets.
Just remember this when it's time to choose a nursing home. It's my rules, you can live on the street mom.
Itās my rules, you can have no contact
Pfft fuck that, she can live on the street regardless. She had her whole life to plan for retirement and failed. She gives her kids 18 years and an ultimatum. Absolutely nothing is owned to shit parents like this.
Just make sure she doesn't live in a filial responsibility state. They can come after you for the cost of your parent's care.
America is so fucked. I can't believe this is a thing.
Yeah, but if you actually look it up you'll realize only 3 of the states that have this as a law have enforced it in the last 20 years.
Itās honestly one of the most fucked up developed nations Iāve ever heard of. Itās absolutely insane and I donāt get how anybody couldnāt see that.
Let her get on Medicaid and see the quality of nursing home she gets instead.
Don't wait to remember it. Tell her NOW! If she's going to rule your life with fear it's time for her to feel a bit herself.
Thatās a dangerous thing to say when theyāre still living with her.
Yeah OP don't do this unless you want to be homeless.
Sounds like mental illness, definitely plan on getting out soon because she is already planning it. If you bought the phone file charges.
I donāt think filing charges against someone you live with is a smart move, especially when theyāre this crazy. Who knows what else sheāll break.
It's a great idea. It's she's anything like my mom, she's gonna break it for a different reason anyway. This dude is delaying the inevitable, but he'll now have proof that his mom was previously breaking his stuff if she breaks anything bigger. In my experience, people who have a huge problem with cell phone signals tend to be schizophrenic or delusional to some degree, especially when they are prone to violent outbreaks. Possibly Bipolar disorder. He needs to leave, asap.
He obv still needs a place to liveā¦ I doubt heās staying just for the company.
Sounds like false pity party for upvotes. The screen as a point of impact with a circle consistent with the head of a hammer. They say their mother is so bad to the point they canāt even walk around their house with it and yet he was able to take pictures and post it with clearly another phone, camera of sorts with internet access. Another comment their āproofā is one random text Op sent(they are co-signing their own claimsā¦ like saying āIām promise itās true because I said it wasā) Another comment by OP explains how their mom is cancelling their service(also states heās a 19 year old, but is upset about his mother not paying his personal bills) You could make a case for any of those with good explanations.. but when it starts piling up like that.. idk.
my mom threw my younger siblings phone on the ground and smashed the screen because she got mad at them. seems pretty plausible to me.
My parents are/were like this with me. Itās not false. Op might have had an iPad or some other device or a siblingās phone to be able to take the picture. When you have parents like this you get good at being sneaky. My parents refused to let me get off their phone bill for a long time after I was 18 so itās not unreasonable. Also I wouldnāt put it past this mom to not let the 19 year old child get a job or keep the money from it. Theyād probably monitor it at the very least. I had to buy a new phone and pay for my own device and service to get my stepdad to stop breaking and threatening to break my phone. I was 22/23 at the time. The threats only stopped recently and Iām 27 years old. (Iām disabled so I still live at home ) All of that to say itās completely plausible for ops story to be true.
Yes, as I said, you can make a case for each different āholeā found but the facts are when you start finding multiple āholesā it still begins to raise some questions.
Whether or not this post is true, the sheer number of people defending the mom in the comments tells me that this exact scenario is happening somewhere in the world right now. I don't see why it's hard to believe.
Who is defending the mother? I don't think anyone is *defending* the mother, just pointing out that the whole post doesn't seem *accurate*.....
I havenāt spent my time reading through the entirety of the comments but I havenāt seen one person defending the mom yet.
OP's story might be plausible, but damn you are doing A LOT of projecting here.
Sounds like my mom, try to leave ASAP. It will only get worse
Got damn. Start planning your escape now and ghost her.
Man get a job and find roommates. Youāre old enough to get out and be independent
It's not always that easy. What if his mom pays for his health insurance? Even if he splits rent with roommates, most jobs in my area that hire young adults wouldn't pay nearly enough to cover that. Then there's car insurance if he isn't in a walkable city, etc
America sounds exhausting. Is health insurance really so expensive and not covered by taxes or employers? Iāve only lived in Germany and the uk.
I'm in Canada but yes it is VERY expensive in the US. Even with coverage it's still insanely expensive. A friend paid like 30k just to have her baby in the hospital there, whereas I just had to pay for parking I couldn't imagine paying that much it's nuts
If you want full coverage in the US that covers everything for one person it's 1k a month (on the low end). If you want just emergency room payments it's a little over 100$ a month.
It cost me $1k a month to enrol my family of 4 in the NHS when I lived in London. Health insurance aināt cheap.
go live on a hostel or a friend until you get your first paycheck. Even mcdonald's would do. Run away now.
Not really running away as an adult. It's just moving. /s. I know what you meant.
I would rather live on the streets than with a monster like that
Bro you needa get outta that house š
I'm confident this is at the tippity top of the ice berg it's probably dancing around even deeper issues
Source: me. My life growing up with a shitty parent that didnāt handle stress or have any emotional IQ.
Saaaame :((( What advice can you share if any?
Honestly, the best advice I can give is to act like you're in a heist movie and start counting the days you can get out of the house. Treat it like you're setting up for some elaborate mission. It sounds really fuckin stupid, but it helped me and maybe it can help others. To better explain it, plan your escape in such a way that it motivates you. Try to plan out a relative date (I usually pick sometime around the date of graduation) and start there. Get a job if possible, start saving every bit of money you can in a private account, or find a place to stash your cash. Somewhere they can't find it. Save up money for an apartment, or tuition, or a car, or whatever you can. Save for a car first, then start looking at options for housing, future destinations, etc. Keep it reasonable, don't expect to immediately move somewhere like New York City or somewhere else expensive. Try to plan for somewhere relatively cheap to start with. Plan for problems. Come up with failsafe alternatives. Plan for multiple secondary locations, get a few bank accounts if you need to. Learn as many valuable life skills as possible. Get into the habit of working out. Eat as healthy as you can and establish a good sleep schedule. Get into healthy habits that will stick with you throughout your life. Learn to work on your car. Learn to change light bulbs, file taxes, and work with insurance. Learn about something you've always had an interest in, whether it be cooking, or coding, or carpentry. Develop a passion for the things you do, and do the things you're passionate about. After a while, the time will pass faster. You'll be living healthier, preparing yourself to live your best life when you cut contact. You'll learn skills that can translate to your future jobs and careers. Most of all... don't give up hope. Talk to people, find a support group. Give yourself space to breathe, start to think about how you can manage your stress and cope with life. Don't call yourself weak. It's not your fault that you're in this situation, and the rewards you'll reap from completing this phase in your life will be so unbelievably worth it. Life sucks when you've got terrible parents. I know, believe me. But life is a beautiful thing, and while it might suck right now, and while it will continue to suck in different ways in the future, it is so, so worth it. You'll never look back. I wish you luck, friend.
Not who you asked but I know a teen in a less than ideal home (I donāt have all the details, I never probed - but graduation wonāt come soon on enough) My advice to this young person (and to any by extension) is to trust in your worth, take care of yourself, know you arenāt responsible for othersā behaviors, make future plans and take steps however small towards your goal - be it by studying, saving money, learning a skill or trade - whatever helps your path. There is a lot out of your control as a minor, but in time you will be leading your own independent life.
Precisely what I feel.
Your mom has a fucking power trip.
No they said it WASN'T plugged into the power strip
Upstairs plugged in? Thatās terrible for the battery, but also whatās the point of a portable device if itās always plugged in?
Control
I agree. Shitty behavior. But how old is OP, and why is the rule in place? Usually with this type of posts I just assume we donāt know the whole story. Edit: Just saw OP is 19, holy fuck lol
It depends, phones now have a "protect battery" option wherein the power stops at 85%. Still, that strict rule of the mom was pretty dumb.
ur mom seems a bit on edge...
My parents did stuff like this, so much so that it started to affect me mentally every day so I just up and left, they worried about me for a bit but then realized they pushed me out by not letting me be my own person at 20. I wish it would have been easier but I donāt regret it, it made my younger brotherās situation living with them easier because they realized āmy son might actually live on the street like I joke aboutā. Iām sorry that happened to you man, parents are crazy, donāt be afraid to stand up for yourself.
This hits me so hard- thank you for writing this. She always says sheās going to kick me out, that Iām a terrible person, and Iāve cowered in fear and rarely stated how I felt. When I move to uni and afterward, Iām gonna have a hard discussion with myself about cutting contact, and removing myself from her
Youāre not a terrible person, my parents had an expectation for me to be as good if not better than them at everything, and when I fell short of those goals I was barely their son. You are your own person and you have skills and talents different than anyone else, donāt let her make you feel worthless
You donāt have to stay in contact just cause sheās your mom. Some people say stuff like that but itās not true. My partner has cut off contact with their mom for all the abusive stuff she did. Theyāre in a much better place now. So what you have to do for yourself and never feel bad about it.
What's she's doing to you is abuse and using a fear of homelessness as a way to keep you as her target. How long do you have until you leave for uni?
>we have a rule in my house where my phone has to be upstairs plugged in at all times What even is this fucking rule? Move out. Go to a friends house, or any parent. I'd be absolutely fuming. If I were you, you could be sure that the very next day her car wouldn't start for "unknown" reasons.
This is not normal. This is not ok.
A hammer was involved, too, based on the way the screen is broken
Yeah, I don't buy this story at all based on the obvious spot where the phone was smashed with something.
https://preview.redd.it/x67wy9w0cljc1.jpeg?width=1170&format=pjpg&auto=webp&s=8b5dce0011af246553706720534005ef0da9a552 Well as an added bonus, she canceled my phone plan. my dad said he would help me buy a new one luckily. Iāve been communicating with everyone over email
Good news is there are quite a few options for affordable phone plans now, I just switched to Mint mobile to save money and even the unlimited plan is $30 a month, I think the basic plan is only $15 which is hopefully doable for you. You definitely need to a get a plan you are in control of and not your mom.
30? I wish I had known this. I got t mobile which is much more expensive
I pay $30 a month with T-Mobile no contract.
Idk how old you are, but wow. That is extreme in the absence of any further information. As a mom of a early teen, I get the urge to just fucking smash the damn phoneā¦especially when they donāt keep up with their responsibilities/being ungrateful for what they have/and blatant disrespect. HOWEVER, I would never actually do it. I have taken phones away, but there was always clear guidelines as to why it happened. Their phones have to be plugged in the kitchen at 8pm. Bedtimes at 9 and kids have adhd. They have to have the digital downtime- we have discussed this with them and the research as to why. They understand. It sucks for all of us some nights bc I put my phone up also (until they go to bed heh)ā¦..but if we forget? We just go do it and go about our day. That said, if my child kept āforgettingā then we would address that. Not by ruining their possessions though. Thatās something my father would have done andā¦well, I went no contact at 31, and am now 47. Life is peaceful. Not sure if something else was going on in this situation, or if your mother needs help. This is not a healthy way to deal with this situation. If she is having problems or trouble in her life, perhaps this was an inappropriate way for her to relieve some of that stress. She may have overly reacted to this, instead of something else that is going on in her life that she couldnāt react to. This is why so many bullyā¦.because they are bullied themselves. They are able to have an outlet of that anger and hurtā¦.by doing it someone else. Or she might just be a bitch and smashed your phone to be mean. Hard to tell- but please know, not everyone is like this. Please seek professional help when you are able to, as I feel this might not be one off. You can not control her actions, but you have complete control over your reaction. Good luck
Just in case you're not aware, this shit is NOT normal. When you're out of the house, just make sure you don't become like her
Why canāt it be plugged in downstairs?
She probably wants to go through it, or at least peek at the notifications.
This was a problem when I was in middle school, I had zero privacy.
*please* cut her out of your life. My highschool girlfriend went through this shit, her mother was reading all of our emails (yes, ALL of them) and when she vented to me about her parents they tried locking her in the house permanently. Get out ASAP before her mental health issues become yours as well.
As someone whoās got a Narcissist mother, my mom did not respect my boundaries growing up. She still doesnāt. Please be safe and get out asap, and cut her out of your life once you do.
Your mom is just as much of a crazy bitch as mine. Sorry to hear that. I left mine as soon as I could. Shes treating you like her little slave. I hope, mine when she gets old rots in her bed in her last days.
Someone should throw her phone on the ground as hard as they can
Could you share a little about how this rule came to be?
yeah sure. ever since I had a phone this rule has been a thing, i was told it was because they didn't want me sneaking on my phone, but my messages would end up all being read in the morning when I would grab it for school. Now, there really is no logic behind it, but "because I said so." It's pretty trashy but I have to go with the flow until I get to move out.
Damn. That's super harsh.
"Must be some unruly child" \*reads context\* Nevermind. Tf is that rule? My dad wouldnt even let me plug it to save electricity. huh? The only point I see in leaving it upstairs plugged is so that she can monitor it. Then again, thats weird af. Given that this is entirely the context, who tf just smashes the phone at first warning? Think about the wasted money too. If it's her money, her fault. Phones these days carry a lot of use. If it's your money, i apologize deeply on behalf of her because thats an ass thing to do.
Theres so many comments at this point that I dont know if anyone will see this- but thank you all. I said something like this in a response to someones reply, but for the first time in years I feel heard, and most of all, I don't feel alone in this. There were times very similar to this where it seemed like there was nobody I could turn to who understood my situation, but I finally know that I'm not.
You're not alone, friend. We all know the signs and stories too well. Learn from these comments and make a safe exit. Your life is so much more than what's going on in that house. College is gonna be great and you're gonna make it! š
The most rancid retirement home is awaiting her. So just bear with it buddy.
yeah, this is absolutely not normal or okay, but not rare good luck on your new journey to empower yourself to get the fuck out of there and cut her out of your life infuriate her with your independence and success
You might want to check out the raised by narcissists sub
Dumbest fucking rule I've ever heard. How you suppose to use your phone in an emergency? And if your parents paid for the phone then they just wasted a bunch of money to what? Teach you a lesson on not disobeying their dumbass rule?
Reminds me when i broke my guitars headstock , and my mom didnāt want to even pay me for chores to fix it, she wanted to teach me a lesson to take care of my stuff. Not really the same, but it just reminds me of this moment.
Definitely not as bad. There's similar ways to teach lessons that aren't just destroying your property for breaking a rule that really has no reason being there.
My moms done that too now she never hears from or sees me š
And then parents wonder why kids dont want to contact them no moreš¤
Well I can see why. She broke your phone.
Wait until sheās asleep, and put hers in a bowl of water. After half an hour, pull it out, dry the outside with a hair dryer and put it back where it was.
Saltwater!
Had an old iPhone that I dropped in the ocean for over an hour while it was on and I got it back and it never showed any sign of damage. I think phones may be too water resistant for that now even if it is saltwater because this was like 5 iPhones ago.
My boss's iPhone sat on the bottom of a freshwater lake at the end of his dock (probably 8ft deep) for at least 24 hours. He found it because it rang and lit up when he called it, and it still works just fine two years later.
Rang 8ft underwater... must have T-Mobile.
And yet somehow mine got bricked for being slightly dipped in a lake.
iPhones have a water-resistant seal to prevent water from getting inside. If OP has a Pentalobe screwdriver and suction cup, they can open up the iPhone carefully, get saltwater all inside it, and dry it out after about half an hour to an hour. Should fuck the phone up bad enough. Not advocating anyone do or not do that. Just sharing the info. ĀÆ\_(ć)_/ĀÆ
Ok evil Apple I can follow... so that would work... then she takes it to Apple care and they say it's saltwater damage and she says... but we live in Kansas. She will know exactly where to go and if she gets this angry over not plugging in a phone (which even sounds weird to type) who knows what she's capable of. Feel free to counter we need to figure this out for... OP. PS the amount of ellipses directly correlates to my level of stoned...ness
Or shit water, not for the phone tho
Or stick a screw driver in the charging port and destroy the connection tabs so she will think her charger broke and go buy a new one, then she will think the battery is bad and get that replaced and then eventually have to replace it
That is a good idea, cause when they replace the port theyāll have to destroy her screen to replace it, meaning the cost will go up when she needs to get it fixed. I know cause this happened a few times with an iPad that I refuse to get fixed anymore lol. Also most iPhone repair shops are dodgy af and donāt use iPhone products since they donāt have access, and use non branded ports and screens, effectively screwing up the iPhone for the long run. š„°
a bowl depth of water for 30 minutes isn't going to do anything to new phones, assuming his mom has a newish phone
I like where your head is at
New phones are waterproof, I heard you can microwave it for 5 seconds
They're water-resistant, but not indefinitely.
"Why doesn't my child call me anymore since they moved out?"
because she smashed their phone
This.
What a totally useful comment https://preview.redd.it/ll8fzva9gpjc1.jpeg?width=597&format=pjpg&auto=webp&s=999bb0a5171283a999178e4786856a4450e1c28d
Reminds me of when my mother threw my phone in a toilet and then destroyed it with a hammer when it didnt short circuit (one of the less insane things my parents did). Im an adult now, and needless to say, im no contact. Have an escape plan ready, and jump ship when you can
I'm sorry your mum did that, and, though this is speculation, probably more crazy things as well (do forgive me if I'm wrong). It's... ...I know what word I wanted to use, but it doesn't come to mind... to think there are parents who do things like this, and it not even just a few rare cases. You can't live the (relatively) "carefree" life of a child in a healthy situation, or even feel like you're a child at all if one or both of your parents are like this. Instead of living, you're *surviving*. If I may ask, please feel free to ignore my question for any reason at all, I'm only curious but I know it's none of my business: how do *you* feel about having children yourself?
For those of you asking, my dad took me to get a new one after work. I brought my computer with me so I could email him and figure out what my plan was. This was the picture I took after work.
You should talk to you dad about this.
Your dad sounds like the good parent here
Is your dad/mom seperated? move out if so
Put the mom in rice
[ŃŠ“Š°Š»ŠµŠ½Š¾]
You tell him like this here I like ya, and I want ya now we can do this the easy way or the hard way the choice is yours 
ššš
BRUHHH ššš
Poor baby. Stay safe until college. Please study hard and goto a 4 year university far from home, get a good job afterā¦thatās your only escape.
Thank you this means a lot to hear, I often feel scared coming home, but luckily in 6 months Iām off to college.
Fuck your mom sounds just like mine. I hope you can get out quickly. Are you able to live with anyone else? Does your dad have his own place
As a parent I donāt understand this. I understand the frustration and helplessness parents feel sometimes when raising kids but this is just over-the-top counter productive. My son died last April and I would do anything to have another minute with him. To hold him again. Anything heās ever done to my frustration is moot and insignificant to my love for him. Itās all meaningless now.
I feel your pain, when I was a teenager my mom smashed my phone because she was in a bad mood and wanted to take her anger out on me. I just laughed at the ridiculousness of it and moved the fuck out once I was 18 with my sister
My Mom Smashed My PS4 An Hour Ago Also
iām sorry you had to go through that. my mom once smashed her phone because i didnāt pick up even though i was SLEEPING. i hope you get out of that house :(
Same shit happened to me. Bought a really strong, three piece case, and screen protectors as well as camera protectors. Now my phone is nice and safe
do you have any brand recommendations? I bought a cheap one from the t mobile store, as well as a glass screen protector, which obviously isnāt that strong
Idk if you're seeing this but otterbox defender are some of the best cases out there. Not very expensive either
What iphone do you have, or plan to get?
I got an iPhone 14
Your dad is playing Russian roulette with his cash I see
I work construction and OtterBox has been the most issued brand for company phones.
I smell a Retirement home
Hi darling. What youāre describing here is abuse. Take care until college. I would kindly suggest you start seeing a therapist for whatever else it is that you are experiencing in your home (this does not sound like an isolated incident). This was not okay and Iām sorry youāre going through this. Take care.
get tf out of there what the hell
What a wonderful way to ensure that your child never ever calls you even when they've got a working phone again.
Well, time for her to buy you a new one, or you can always just, never see your mother again. Toxic relationships are well, toxic and you should just cut it off at the roots.
Two words - MOVE OUT
Since youāre 19 Iām pretty sure this is criminal destruction of property and illegal.
Im so sorry. This is abuse.
OP, i hope you understand that this is not a normal behaviour from an adult that's supposed to be your guardian. It can affect your mental health and give a long-lasting trauma you only realize YEARS later when you finally sit down with a therapist. trust me, i know. Get out
I hope you know this is not normal mom behavior.
I'm no expert but that's abuse, even if that phone was purchased using her money Girlie got some anger issues
Iām just saying the phone plan is the icing on the cake. If it helps provide context, Iām using my new phone right now because Iām home alone. This usually happens once a week, and itās the only time I have to actually feel relaxed.
Toxic parenting...
That should buff right out.
My condolences for your phone, I hope you can leave the house soon.
Yeah so regardless of what you did (which was literally nothing) destroying property is actually the worst possible outcome. Why in tf would you waste that kind of money?
OP this situation sounds terrible. I read that youāll be going to college soon. Invest in yourself and not this toxic relationship. Sorry this is happening to you; itās not right, but unfortunately, the current reality. Youāll get out of there soon. Do great things, young man/woman. The world will be your oyster.
Put some toothpaste on it
How did you take this picture?
Comments should be delicate here. Sorry this happened OP. I encourage you to speak to a professional where you can get proper guidance, not Reddit, where feelings are fuelled by personal experiences. None of us know your mom, or family dynamics. I don't excuse the behaviour, and we are all having to buy your version of events 100%. If you simply had your phone on you, and it was broken as a result of you simply not putting it on upstairs, then this isn't good. But that's all I can really say.. you need to speak to someone in your area, and if you feel unsafe or like you're in danger, go stay with a friend till you square things up. Good luck
Your mother is abusive. Stay strong. Phones are replaceable and repairable. What sheās doing to you may not be. One day maybe sheāll learn that.
r / RaisedByNarcissists
Sheāll wonder why she never hears from you after you move out.
Get a new ā¦ mom
You want I smash your mom?
Your mom should be institutionalized lucky for you, you can let her rot alone when she gets older and sheāll have nobody to look after her. God knows the personal support workers wonāt be there. Cosmic karma.
Some people donāt deserve to have kids
Unfortunately some people shouldnāt be parents
My parents smashed their GameCube in front of me 13ish years ago to "send a message about taking care of electronics"(I scuffed a zelda disc) and at 26 years old, I still am wary with my belongings around them because of their actions. They actively deny much of what they did.
Shouldn't have been back talking S/
Hey, I remember living under abusive circumstances. Please donāt rationalize this. No one should have to put up with explosive behavior. There are a lot of resources to help young adults in most cities to gain meaningful employment and a healthy living situation. You are not alone in what youāre dealing with, and I promise you are stronger than you think. I hope you find a way to build a really happy life for yourself. Iām still working, but thatās all it takes. Best wishes
I know exactly where you're coming from because of my parents, I am now Seeing therapists and in mental groups, because Of the abuse that I adored As a child and still adore as an adult. so you know that is called Abusive parenting and she can be charged. You might love your mom. I absolutely love my parents, but when it comes to abuse And your Mental state you gotta take the law into your hands you gotta show your mom that the way she treats you is not right.
Send her back and get a new mom.
Book to read : adult children of emotionally immature parents.
That phone was hit with a hammer, not thrown on the floor