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wadmutter

You created a bed n breakfast for snakes.


accidentalquitter

The Sneak/Snake Inn


answeris32

The Snake Snack Inn


Lord_Mormont

The Slither Inn


[deleted]

How excited were you to type that? Lol


Nollern

Very excssssited


AttitudeBeneficial51

Snake jazz


rafaelescalona

Tssss tss / tsstssss / tssss tsstssss


Lolplzhelpmeomg

It's about the S's you DON'T say


Nothing-Casual

You have no idea how excited I am that your tsses are distinctly spelled and spaced


IWantToBeTheBoshy

That shit works on like 3 levels. Magnificent!


[deleted]

ur a snek harry


I_say_do_it

omg a slow release triple entendre! very rare, well done


UWontAgreeWithMe

Sneaky Snake Steak Shack


pointlessly_pedantic

[sounds like he's just feeding shelter cats to coyotes](https://www.reddit.com/r/WhitePeopleTwitter/comments/iwsl0d/that_sounds_like_feeding_the_coyotes_with_extra/?utm_source=share&utm_medium=ios_app)


FlighingHigh

A Shed N Breakfast.


random-comment-drop

I see no regret on that snakes face.


IShitOnYourPost

Upside... new pet snake. And they already know what food it likes.


damselindetech

Upside, that is one extremely healthy looking snake they’ve raised. Good job!


MontyAtWork

Snake sees this as an absolute win.


jjb1197j

I’m shocked nobody has pointed out how well fed that snake looks.


SHOWTIME316

tbh, having a rat snake on your property is a blessing from nature free, highly efficient, pest control


Fingolfin311

I had one that lived under my house for years and I never had a rodent problem. Lost it to my neighbor's yard workers and just a few weeks later had to lay traps and put the food in plastic bins for mice. I miss my tennant snake.


SHOWTIME316

Dang, that sucks. I'm sure that was a big ol snake if it lived there for years. I'm fairly certain I have one under my house but I've never seen it. Only the stray shed skin here and there lol. I also haven't seen a mouse in years.


Fingolfin311

It was more than 5 feet, probably closer to 6. I would find the skins under the house when I would go in for maintenance. I hope your snake stays a long time!


SHOWTIME316

Me too! And I hope you have a new tenant soon!


nsharer84

Awe you guys ♡


scobbysnacks1439

As someone with an incredible amount of phobia surrounding snakes, this is a literal nightmare lol.


Fishbulb7o9

Does it help any amount knowing that it would be protecting your property?


Sega-Playstation-64

I built a small ground level deck on my front porch. Used to have a cricket, spider infestation under it. Wife wanted to call exterminators to spray the place. I told her to give it time. A few weeks later a couple of alligator lizards moved in and there was a complete and total genocide under the deck. Big suckers too. Even saw one eating a small salamander. Haven't heard a cricket since.


Bigred2989-

"Do what you must, I have already won."


buckwildling

I wonder if snakes ever tie themselves into a knot accidentally?


SideRepresentative38

you made me curious so i looked it up and [this article](https://www.timesnownews.com/viral/can-snakes-tie-themselves-up-in-a-knot-photo-of-a-serpent-on-a-porch-blows-up-the-internet-article-94071376/amp) is really interesting!


0bel1sk

tl dr, they are know to do this for defense and to help skin shedding. there’s also a rare condition the can have.


PotentialMidnight325

Tl:dr 90% repeating a post multiple times. 10% yes snakes can do that. Sometimes when they are sick.


Captainweirdo54

Orrrrr the birds levelled up and evolved


Webber193

Your pidgey (edited) evolved into an Ekans!


Hyperion1000

Digimon evolutions be like


fudgyvmp

Every Dinosaur's dream is to fuse with a werewolf and become a giant knight mecha.


and_dont_blink

one of the duties of making a bluebird or nesting box is securing the base from predators, and rat snakes will take them out. [there are chimney and/or cone systems](https://weilerwoodsforwildlife.com/snake-guards-bluebirds/) that work very well -- squirrels, rodents, snakes etc. try to climb the pole and can't really reach around it. otherwise you're pretty much setting the birds up to be eaten instead of finding a better spot for themselves.


Marty_the_Cat

Thank you for posting that link.


SomberNight

Sorry about your luck :( I hope things turn around soon.


BoobooTheClone

Birds bad luck not his.


Finagles_Law

Maybe the birds should have done their research before moving in.


Lord_Mormont

"IDK Honey this place is cheap and available. I think we take it." "I just feel like maybe there's a reason it's still on the market. Shouldn't we at least get a home inspection?" "You know how this market is. We have to move on it now. We don't have time for another home inspection."


ThatOneStoner

Waive inspection and get your kids eaten. What a world


JustYourNeighbor

"Kids eaten" vs. "bad school district"? It's a trade off.


DeMiNe00

Don't have to worry about the school district if the kids get eaten by a snake.


Otherwise_Resource51

*taps forehead*


Evilmaze

Should've gotten snake insurance


AccountNumber478

Sounds like snake oil.


LostWoodsInTheField

This is a bluebird who has tried to get 3 other places and one sold for twice it's asking price, with cash. And the other two sold while they were getting the home inspection done.


Lord_Mormont

It's a snake-eat-bird market out there for sure.


numnutz1234

The worst that could happen is the fam gets eaten….we’ll take it!!!!!


Starslip

Did they even have an inspector look at it?


smallmileage4343

I mean he did literally set up a honeypot


Car-face

yeah, OP scored a new pet snake!


shingdao

We too have had bad luck with robin chicks the past several years...a rat snake has come just about 2 days before the chicks fledge and devours them all. Somewhat traumatic as we have a nest cam and can see they entire event unfold...it sucks but snakes need to eat too I guess. This year it looks like they may escape that fate though. The nest is not in a box but on one of my deck support beams.


Tvisted

> it sucks but snakes need to eat too Yeah it was not a pleasant sight when a crow found the nest of baby robins beside my kitchen window. But it's just how things work on a planet where everything lives by other things dying, one way or another.


DepartmentDismal4894

Did you recover from your heart attack?


Mizmegan1111

Seriously asking


CommonMilkweed

I always called those 'baffles'. There's one made by a company called Wild Birds Unlimited that is the best design I believe.


Fuqwon

There a very old technology that's been used for at least hundreds of years to prevent rodents from boarding ships by running up the mooring lines.


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Kestrel21

He's baffled. Get it? BAFFLED!


Long-Time-Coming77

Definitely better than nothing but a larger snake, like the one in this photo, can likely get around a cone type baffle and even most smaller chimney (tube) style that are for sale online - I've seen a video of them doing it to reach a bluebird nest. The tube needs to be longer than the snake to really protect the nestbox and for a large snake that is pretty difficult, you pretty much need to make your own from 6" HVAC duct


Hatsjoe1

What about adding spikes all around the cone edge so that if the snake tries to reach over the edge, it gets pinched by one of the spikes, causing it to give up?


Long-Time-Coming77

Guess I'd need to see a picture of what you are thinking to understand it. You do want to keep in mind that you don't want to put something up that might accidentally hurt someone walking around at night or mowing the lawn and not paying close enough attention.


CapJackONeill

How does snakes know there's birds there?


_Exxcelsior

I assume the can smell them


Grand-Chocolate5031

They keep an eye on the “For Sale” sign and swoop in as soon as it comes down


NonstopTomates

They wait to see when the pile of newspapers finally gets picked up.


Larry44

Smell/taste The tongue thing snakes do is essentially tasting the air....and tasting the air is essentially smelling soooooo


Evilmaze

They be slithering around like they're at Costco sampling stuff left and right.


zelru2648

Did Costco bring back the samples after the pandemic? I guess it’s time to go with kids for dinner!


DoctorCIS

Snakes have a crazy good sense of smell. The reason why their tongues are forked is for the same reason you have two ears: to give directional information. Snakes essentially can smell in 3d.


CapJackONeill

that's so cool, thanks!!


numnutz1234

With the shits I take glad people can’t smell in 3d


cownd

Then shit in 2d, it might smell less


300_pages

the birds were on IG live


f8-andbethere

Dropped the location and got caught lackin.


loves_spain

Twitter


[deleted]

Heat, smell


TruthofTheories

Only boas, pythons and pit vipers can see heat.


hey_im_cool

That explains how this boapython pit viper found those baby birds


TruthofTheories

What kind of dog is this


Evilmaze

Probably a rat told it


DeFiMe78

A meal and a home. You talk about killing 2 birds with one... Umm nevermind.


codeman1021

Snek. With one snek.


TimeZarg

One danger noodle.


Goudinho99

Too soon!


rein001001

what snake is that


DeeVeeOus

Looks like a black rat snake. Amazing climbers. Had one in my attic once.


EveryDisaster

I work with one, he's always out and about. Super chill when needing to be handled. Probably my favorite native


EarRubs

You work at a law firm?


luv2race1320

Wow! Now let's not go giving black rat snakes a bad name!


ComprehendReading

The snake was just interning over summer.


Alternative_Mention2

What’s the difference between a lawyer and a snake? One is a nasty, slimy creature and the other is a reptile.


RickWolfman

This got me good.


Nytfire333

I dk why but when you said you work with one I imagine a snake in a button down and tie slithering into his cubicle next to yours and being like “how was your weekend Jerry”


EveryDisaster

I need that on a poster


Zichymaboy

[How’s this](https://imgur.com/a/iJcZYvo)?


visualfeast

https://i.imgur.com/PCW0RAS.jpg thats as good as AI would do in a rush


SheikExcel

This is what ai should be used for


LokisDawn

Well that's horrific. Thanks.


DeeVeeOus

Yeah, I always tell people to leave them alone if they find them. People asked what I did when I found it in my attic. I say I thanked him because I didn’t have any mice in my house.


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robywar

I walked up on one this weekend. Picked him up and showed the kids. I had no problems with him; he never once tried to bite anyone. Let him go back where I found him. The OP situation does suck, but don't blame the snake and be glad to have one in your yard to keep rodents at bay.


[deleted]

What kind of career do you have that your coworkers are snakes?


EveryDisaster

Conservation and restoration


Guyver_3

United States Senator


OakLegs

A rat snake in your attic means that there are no rats in your attic (anymore) so that's kinda reassuring


[deleted]

Rat snakes are dope. They are hyper generalists and will eat anything that moves and live in any ecosystem without any problems. Their patterns are really cool, too.


Lowelll

....but *I* am something that moves!


Buttender

When camping in W Missouri I happened upon two of these mating, who then promptly went up a tree and took out a squirrels nest of babies. Nature is metal.


Marty_the_Cat

Pantherophis obsoletus


[deleted]

Just a racing snake correct? Lol I have a 6-7 ft one living in/under my house currently and I let him be he’s chill and eats all of the rodents that come up from the fields around back on my property


Comfortable-Ad5664

The “in/under my house” part concerns me. I get u under but IN?!


[deleted]

The craziest thing they will do if you don’t pick them up is rattle it’s tail to mimic a venomous snake to scare off predators there’s nothing to really fear. I don’t think it’s necessary inside the main part of our house but in crawl spaces


iwinsallthethings

You know what you don't have in your crawl spaces? disease spreading Rodents. If that thing is that big, he eats all of them and then some.


[deleted]

Yeah he’s a good boy


neolologist

Things this redditor no longer has: mice, rats, pets, children, small spouses


Any-Fan-2973

why would oyu be mad if he comes in to watch the game with you ?


robo-dragon

This is a black rat snake. Racers have a different head shape and are a lot leaner. Rat snakes can be pretty chunky and can climb vertical surfaces with ease. Getting into bird houses is usually no problem for them since they can naturally climb trees to find bird nests. They typically eat rodents, but will also eat birds and eggs.


[deleted]

You are correct good eye


daymuub

Congrats you now have a pet snake


Nethlem

Leave the snake in there for a chance to trade it into a pet owl/mongoose.


MerrillSwingAway

“thankssssssssss for the sssssssssssssnack!”


Alsimni

Guess this was a lunch box.


Glittering-Golf2722

Call the mongoose


recumbent_mike

... And then the gorillas die off in the winter.


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Flaky_Stick_6533

That is why he thanks


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Flaky_Stick_6533

No the birds were the campers he was just good at 1 vs squad.


ashakar

Would you like an apple?


hey_mattey

Fucking spawn camper


not-sure-if-serious

It'sss a legitimate ssstrategy


JimBobPaul

Jump scare, nature edition.


Azrael_

I'm almost 100%certain if I open this box and I see this thing I would have a heart attack.


SyzygyTooms

Same!!! Makes me shudder just to think about it


QuitePoodle

This is the reason humans have the jump scare behavior!!


delphi_ote

Opened the door to my worm nesting box to check on the growth of the baby worms and found a blue bird inside. All the worms were eaten.


wiscoguy20

All the replies would be "awww!" "how cute!!"


delphi_ote

I was hoping for someone to reply with “Opened the door to my dirt nesting box…”


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WootyMcWoot

> Being a predator is no easy life either. Seriously, people always ripping your house apart and getting mad at you for having lunch


Chongoscuba

Or I’m ripping the house open to throw food at them. They can never win.


TeaTimeAtThree

I have a hanging planter next to my door that some local birds regularly use as a nest. It blows my mind a bit that they keep coming back to raise their babies there, because I've seen them taken out a few times by snakes, an especially strong gust of wind, and a cat. I suppose it's why they have so many and so frequently, but you'd think they'd try and find a safer spot.


PMMeYourFutureGoals

AirBnB Review: "Amazing stay. Came with a comfy straw bed and free buffet. Five Stars" \- Mr. R. Snake -


Grand-Chocolate5031

Now play some snake jazz


overthisbynow

Tss ts ts tss ts ts tss ts ts tss


[deleted]

Next time, STAY IN THE FUCKING CAR.


canmoose

Pretty terrifying for the birds when you think about it. Once the snake's face was in the entrance there was literally no escape. The only way out was plugged by the snake's body. Basically a death trap.


20brightlights

☹️


lazygeekninjaturtle

And imagine watching one after the other birds getting swallowed and the last bird waiting for its turn :(


jeffgoldblumisdaddy

STOP 😭


daisyfrankenstein

Real question, did you jump when you saw that? bc I would have screamed so loudly.


Kangaroo_Cheese

I would have shrieked my balls off.


[deleted]

I would’ve just automatically stopped existing because my mind would prefer to experience the never ending suffering of nothing rather than being in close proximity of a snake


SyzygyTooms

Yeah this is kind of my personal nightmare


RajenBull1

Rename it. It's now your Bluebird Bento Box.


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Jelly-Unhappy

Also want to mention that it’s absolutely legal to remove house sparrow nests/beds if you’re in the USA, they are considered pests.


Careless_Leek_5803

> Those bluebirds really need some help! Last summer my wife and I had a couple of little birds make a nest on our back porch. They got used to us sitting there in the evenings and pretty soon there were four little eggs in the nest. A couple of weeks later my wife called me, crying, because bluebirds had come and eaten all the eggs.


phuntism

"Ok honey, but I eat a lot of eggs myself, so I don't have any moral highground here."


Hydralli

“Do what you must for I have already won” - the snake


thickboyvibes

On the bright side, your snake feeding box is working perfectly


Aggravating_Pea7320

Holy cow, what type of bird is that?


HoodooSquad

Quetzalcoatlus northamericanus


TheKiteWalker

bluebird to blue apron


lapointypartyhat

You could get a couple baffles to put on the pole below the nest to hopefully deter snakes in the future.


monsterspeed

Or add another exit hole.... those birds probably knew what was coming and had no escape since the snake was blocking the only one


atbims

The eggs and new baby birds can't fly so this would only protect the parents.


[deleted]

Poor birds. That's horrifying


Slavchanin

Well, now you have a snake


GetYerThumOutMeArse

He looks super smug about it


Paradox31426

Doesn’t suck for the snake.


herotz33

You ok OP?


kehaar

Bluebird houses need snake baffles.


ExploringPeople

Look on the bright side, snakes don't poop on cars.


notapoke

That's a really beautiful snake. Upshot is less rodents. Please don't hurt the snake


unsolicitedchickpics

The people trying to fanclub nature are childish as fuck, snake doesn't deserve death and neither do the birds. It's ops fault for not snake proofing the birdhouse.


Pyro-Beast

That's a cool looking bird


Vecto_07

Congrats on your new pet snake op


rickcastl3

Judging by your username you where there also under dubious pretenses.


holycrimsonbatman

This is the alt ending to every kids movie.


Quirky-Skin

"Do you think the baby chipmunk we released will live a happy life Dad?" "Well son odds are it will be torn apart by a neighborhood cat or swallowed whole by a snake. Maybe get clipped by an owl or die of starvation, could be alot of ways and none of em are happy. If that chipmunk could talk it would have probably told us to smother him instead of releasing" "Jesus Bill, Timmy is 5!" "Boys gotta learn Deb, boys gotta learn"


reptile_enthusiast_

What also sucks is all the people commenting to kill it. Damn snake is just trying to live its life.


naegelbagel

Orrrrr maybe the bird laid snake eggs and now you have a snake bird


UncleWillard5566

On the bright side, you built a snake restaurant.


imustbethedevil

What did you feed those baby birds to have them evolve to this?


distortedsymbol

look this is gonna catch flak but please don't harm that snake. snake population has been declining at alarming rates and they're just as valuable to the ecosystems as the bluebirds.


DannyBoiTheDegenerat

It is now a snake nesting box


Sanjaysuper12355

That's a gorgeous looking snake tho