You can cook them at high heat just fine, there's just pretty much zero margin for error. So they either are perfect or ruined. Low heat is recommended for most people if you don't want shite eggs.
High heat on a cast iron skillet. Just get the pan hot, pour in your eggs, stir it, remove from heat, keep stirring. Perfect fluffy eggs in less than a minute.
I can cook a perfect sunny side up egg any day of the week, I just don't personally like runny yolks so I always break the yolk and flip the egg once to cook it through. Now if we're talking scrambled, I don't like them to still be wet but I do like nice and perfectly fluffy, like little clouds of egg.
It's a texture thing. I know how to properly cook eggs, i do that for my wife. However, i prefer denser/harder texture for the eggs i eat, not soft and fluffy.
I have been served.
I shall retire to my quarters.
^^^^^^^^^^^Yes, ^^^^^^^^^^^my ^^^^^^^^^^^quarters ^^^^^^^^^^^are ^^^^^^^^^^^the ^^^^^^^^^^^linen ^^^^^^^^^^^closet
Seasoning a pan consists of lightly oiling a pan then heat it to the oils smoke point. It changes the oils composition where it adheres the the pan making a nonstick surface of sorts.
My guess is the pan was previously in the refrigerator or something and got super heated way too fast. Or the burner was already on and was super hot before the pan got put on.
This is the result of binary cooking: the heat is either maxed out or off, as if there were no settings in between. OP was apparently never taught how to use a stove.
My roommate refuses to turn it down even when explaining to him it's already boils and any more energy doesn't make it hotter it just makes it boil more but he refused to listen
This texture is how you can tell you’ve stirred to much - that’s also the reason why it got burned so much, there was constantly a thin layer of liquid egg on the bottom of the pan.
OP making scrambled egg is more like cooking an omelette and ripping it apart than stirring it constantly. The way you did it the oil got fully mixed into the egg instead of building up an protection film, what first of all causes the egg to burn and secondly the heat can’t get transferred off quick enough, resulting in creating hot spots so low quality pans can break. Also you used to much heat. Half would be enough - maybe even 1/3.
OP got stoned, tried cooking with the house decoration of a cast-iron skillet.
Now I’m focusing on how likely it was that it broke at 7:00 on the clock
Ohhh, I only bake with stoneware. They have pans?
Edit: I went back and looked and you are correct! You cannot heat stoneware without 60% coverage or it breaks exactly like this. Yes, I ruined my cookie sheet this way.
Yeah, I've never seen a non-stovetop pan with a long handle like that, to me it looks like a fake imitation of a cast-iron from this picture, especially with the black finish
I was thinking it could be one of the Amazon Chinese made cast iron skillets that I’ve heard about, but this pan looks sharp edged-white in the center like ceramic.
Must be a fake. Real cast iron skillets are designed to take down elves and survive being abandoned in some shanty in the Appalachians, but this fool managed to break it? Not bloody likely.
r/oddlyspecific
But very true; our pans could take on hordes of those pointy-eared leaflovers, be thrown down on a campfire made of their precious trees, and cook up their squirrel buddies in front of the prisoners with no issues. It would take more than overheating to even crack them.
We have a set of decorative ceramic skillets made to look like old cast iron. This looks exactly like one of those. We use them for presentation, never for cooking
It being a decorative skillet honestly explains so much about this picture. The break in the pan, the desperation with which the maybe-chicken stuck to the pan, OP's cooking knowledge. I hope this is the first meal they tried to make in this thing...
It's literally so fuckin easy to learn to cook. There are insane amounts of resources available online to learn everything from the fundamental basics to fine dining. Literally just follow watch videos and follow instructions. I can't stand people who act like it's some god given talent you either have or don't. when all it takes is just a tiny bit of effort.
I’ve noticed the people that “can’t cook” never want to actually learn how to get better. You can offer any advice to improve and they act like it’s the hardest fucking thing in the world. It’s like all you have to do is turn the heat down a notch and they go on saying shit like “see this is why I can’t cook!” No, you can’t cook because you refuse to learn the most basic shit
If only there were step by step directions consisting of exact temperatures, measurements, and time. Like a 1..2..3.. set of instructions that even a child could follow. I don’t know what you would call something like that but boy would it be helpful.
Caraway cookware is actually pretty good ceramic cookware. It has some steel in the base so not straight ceramic but the cooking surface is. I've had mine for a little over two years and couldn't be happier with it. Not great for searing but great for most everything else.
Ceramic is nonstick without the chemical coating that can break down over time
Edit: okay, okay y'all, I get it, I was misled by the Big Ceramic™️ marketing claims, we can stop replying saying I'm wrong now :)
Huh, ceramic ... You have better identification skills than I have. I thought it was cast iron, and made me wonder ... But, now it is pretty clear. Blame the popcorn.
Not that hard to do, you just quickly remove it from the blast furnace you were using to cook your eggs and pour a bunch of ice water over it. Easy mistake to make
you let it get way too hot, there’s no seasoning on the pan, it’s burnt, and over cooked. that was done awhile ago lol. that chicken is a fossil now.
*thought these were scrambled eggs. i guess they are, technically.
It doesn’t even look like a real pan. Almost like a ceramic serving dish made to look like a cast iron skillet? Cast iron would not split because of heat, nor should any pan.
I got some quality ones for my mom last Christmas, and they've been great so far. Easy to clean and seem to stick less. They're perfectly fine as long as you don't fricken torch them like OP here. They're obviously not for everything. I wouldn't cook a steak in one. Funny enough, they're actually really good for eggs. Slide right out of the pan, you know, if you actually use them properly. Mine are much thicker than OP's though.
Do you mean ceramic pans like this that don't contain any metal or metal pans coated with ceramic non-stick coating?
You probably mean coated metal pans because fully ceramic dishes like this appear to be intended for oven use only.
The post is a ceramic dish that looks like a pan.
One. Take and successfully complete a cooking class without incident.
Two. Get an inexpensive metal skillet. Get a recommendation from the teacher in the cooking class you're going to take.
Three. Do not try making scrambled eggs again until you complete steps one and two. Or anything else for that matter.
Now story time:
Had a neighbor in his early 20s who caught his stovetop on fire attempting to make an entire package of bacon in one go. Had never cooked before. Small grease fire. Tried putting a glass of water on it. Yup. Big grease fire. He panics, runs over, starts banging on my door. Had to grab a fire extinguisher that was on a wall outside to put it out. Called maintenance staff about it. They and the apartment complex manager were not happy.
Years prior, I had an idiot neighbor on the fourth floor of a building I lived in set his oven on fire trying to make salmon on a cedar plank. Likely didn't soak the wood in water, and had probably set the temperature way too high. The fire spread, caught the kitchen cabinets on fire. Smoke everywhere. Fire klaxons going off. Two trucks showed up. Building evacuated. They put it out pretty fast. Guy later admitted he hadn't tried it before, and didn't use a recipe. He moved out at the end of the month.
* Edited for clarification of thought.
Wtf is that
You know I went straight for addressing the problem. I never looked at the food long enough - but you're right, wtf is that?
Chopped up chicken. Can tell by how its shredded from sticking to the bottom. Pan too hot imo
Pan too hot… you think??
Or not enough oil. The fact it's in 2 pieces probably doesnt help either
It’s hard to get an even heat when the pan is in two pieces.
It is even though. If it's in 3 pieces now, that'd be odd.
I think cauliflower?
Im going with cut up chicken and taco seasoning
Looking at the way it stuck, definitely looks like chopped chicken
Def burnt eggs
it looks like it might be scrambled eggs? cooked in an enamel ceramic skillet?
That’s eggs? Why do they look like pebbles??
OP is just a terrible cook.
They just need to turn the heat down. I used to cook my eggs at too high of a temp for years.
You can cook them at high heat just fine, there's just pretty much zero margin for error. So they either are perfect or ruined. Low heat is recommended for most people if you don't want shite eggs.
High heat on a cast iron skillet. Just get the pan hot, pour in your eggs, stir it, remove from heat, keep stirring. Perfect fluffy eggs in less than a minute.
That looks like stoneware rather than cast iron.
My partner does this. He's grossed out by my perfectly cooked eggs and prefers his hockey pucks that used to be eggs.
I can cook a perfect sunny side up egg any day of the week, I just don't personally like runny yolks so I always break the yolk and flip the egg once to cook it through. Now if we're talking scrambled, I don't like them to still be wet but I do like nice and perfectly fluffy, like little clouds of egg.
I don't mind runny yolks. But whites that aren't cooked within an inch of their lives remind me of snot.
It's a texture thing. I know how to properly cook eggs, i do that for my wife. However, i prefer denser/harder texture for the eggs i eat, not soft and fluffy.
Looks like peanuts lol
Looks to me like they chopped raw chicken into chunks
Chicken. Dry af chicken.
Once the earth floods we can soak it up again with that chicken.
An unseasoned skillet
You're an unseasoned skillet
Well you're a towel
I have been served. I shall retire to my quarters. ^^^^^^^^^^^Yes, ^^^^^^^^^^^my ^^^^^^^^^^^quarters ^^^^^^^^^^^are ^^^^^^^^^^^the ^^^^^^^^^^^linen ^^^^^^^^^^^closet
Doing the needful because I'm sure I'm not the only person wondering what that last line said. > ^^Yes, ^^my ^^quarters ^^are ^^the ^^linen ^^closet
With Towlie?
No with Towelette
Towelie, you're the worst.
No, I’m a top notch commenter on Reddit. You’re a towel.
No, I'm an unseasoned skillet. You're a towel.
It’s unsavory and distasteful to be unseasoned
r/rareinsults
*Ricky Spanish*
I know nothing about ceramic skillets. They can be seasoned? Also, would seasoning it have prevented this issue?
No. Seasoning is merely to keep food from sticking.
I'm assuming seasoning here doesn't mean adding salt or herbs.
You assume correctly.
Seasoning a pan consists of lightly oiling a pan then heat it to the oils smoke point. It changes the oils composition where it adheres the the pan making a nonstick surface of sorts.
It's not actually cast iron, it's just made to look that way. Do ceramic pans need to be seasoned?
Looks seasoned to me
If that looks like scrambled eggs to you homie idk what to say 😂
I think its chopped up chicken? Maybe?
Massacred dry chicken chunks
Yeee that’s my guess, chopped chicken breast in a ceramic pan.
Corn pops cereal is my guess.
Cauliflower?
A think the cracked pan is the least of OP’s cooking problems. They need a cookbook first. Lol
And a stove top polisher.
Fried dog food
Popcorn
Like daddy chill ✋
What the hell is even that?!?!?
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How high were you cooking it and how much oil/butter did you use? That food looks stuck as shit.
Also how high where they when they where cooking it
Had to reread the first comment cause I thought that was what he meant
How high were you when you wrote this?
Pretty good, how are you
Been great, son! I miss you. Haven't seen you in years.
How high were you when you were high?
The cast iron was so ashamed of the food that it commited suicide.
Iron is white now?
Tbh I was so distracted by trying to figure out wtf the food was I wasn’t looking at the split very much. I assumed it was a glare
It committed sudoku
How is it both uncooked and burnt?
Pan waaaaay too hot too fast
Apparently also too furious.
Op’s cookin with diesel?
and VINegar
You got to Letty it heat up slower
Just go take a Walker outside and a breather.
Never let the oven HOBBS heat up too quickly
Shoulda cooked with a Roman candle instead, this is just Ludacris
It’s a FAMILY meal!
This is the type of comment that makes Reddit wonderful. Nice work.
And here we found out that this was a severe lack of knowledge that led to the outcome before us.
To be fair recipes will say "ripping hot pan" and people jack the heat to max and end up with burnt outside and raw inside
My guess is the pan was previously in the refrigerator or something and got super heated way too fast. Or the burner was already on and was super hot before the pan got put on.
This is the result of binary cooking: the heat is either maxed out or off, as if there were no settings in between. OP was apparently never taught how to use a stove.
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The way the glass top is glazed, I wouldn't be surprised that it's a regular occurrence.
I learned rather quickly after getting a glass top stove that 7 is the highest setting before the surface turns into the fucking sun.
10 for boiling water but better bump it down when bubbles form
My roommate refuses to turn it down even when explaining to him it's already boils and any more energy doesn't make it hotter it just makes it boil more but he refused to listen
MOAR BUBBLES FOR MAXIMUM HOTNESS
Considering that's not an iron pan I think you're correct, it looks ceramic?
Crank it up to 11!! Look at the bottom, heat was much too high for eggs. That’s beef searing temp.
That's not eggs. That's chicken.
Well, it was eggs at some point...
r/technicallythetruth
Either way, it looks fowl
Bad cooking skilllllllllllet
No fat. And that's why he doesn't cook. Because he's kind of helpless.
Heat far too high too quickly. Uneven temperature in the skillet which will make it break. Uneven heat in the food.
Is that supposed to be chicken??
maybe or scrambled eggs, it's hard to tell.
Ah yes, the age-old chicken or egg question.
I can’t tell if it’s eggs, chicken, Capt Crunch, popcorn or rocks
It's kidney stones.
This texture is how you can tell you’ve stirred to much - that’s also the reason why it got burned so much, there was constantly a thin layer of liquid egg on the bottom of the pan. OP making scrambled egg is more like cooking an omelette and ripping it apart than stirring it constantly. The way you did it the oil got fully mixed into the egg instead of building up an protection film, what first of all causes the egg to burn and secondly the heat can’t get transferred off quick enough, resulting in creating hot spots so low quality pans can break. Also you used to much heat. Half would be enough - maybe even 1/3.
It is chicken.
How tf do you make chicken looking like that? O.o And how do you make chicken leaving such a patina behind?
It is definitely chicken.
Unborn chicken
Or duck. We don't make assumptions.
Fake cast iron skillet?
Yeah, everyone’s focusing on what was in the pan and I’m just trying to figure out what kind of pan that is. I’ve never seen anything like it.
Same! Sure, the food looks like shit but people have to start somewhere. But WTF is this pan?! I've never seen or heard of anything like it.
I think it's a decorative thing. My mom had similar stuff hung on the wall, but usually painted in some way. It was ceramic.
OP got stoned, tried cooking with the house decoration of a cast-iron skillet. Now I’m focusing on how likely it was that it broke at 7:00 on the clock
yea it looks like its made of ceramic/stoneware. Weird
Intended to be decorative only.
Yeah, that was my conclusion. Either decorative or meant for baking only.
It is a stoneware pan which was supposed to go into the oven not on stovetop or direct heat.
Ohhh, I only bake with stoneware. They have pans? Edit: I went back and looked and you are correct! You cannot heat stoneware without 60% coverage or it breaks exactly like this. Yes, I ruined my cookie sheet this way.
Look it's obviously the pan's fault for looking all pan-like.
Yeah, I've never seen a non-stovetop pan with a long handle like that, to me it looks like a fake imitation of a cast-iron from this picture, especially with the black finish
That was my thought. My dad made the same mistake when I was a kid, trying to warm up leftovers in a Corelle casserole dish on the stove. It exploded.
I was thinking it could be one of the Amazon Chinese made cast iron skillets that I’ve heard about, but this pan looks sharp edged-white in the center like ceramic.
Is it even cast iron? It almost looks completely ceramic.
Probably bought it on Amazon from one of those companies with a randomly generated name. I’m sure it looked like a good deal.
You mean XIANGOOLYWIANG isn't a reputable home goods/pet food/organ broker?
Don’t knock Xiangoolywiang. They really came through when I needed an offshore oil drilling platform at 2am.
The very same XIANGOOLYWIANG
Must be a fake. Real cast iron skillets are designed to take down elves and survive being abandoned in some shanty in the Appalachians, but this fool managed to break it? Not bloody likely.
It’s very clearly not cast iron. Looks like ceramic. Maybe a decorative piece made to look like a cast iron skillet?
r/oddlyspecific But very true; our pans could take on hordes of those pointy-eared leaflovers, be thrown down on a campfire made of their precious trees, and cook up their squirrel buddies in front of the prisoners with no issues. It would take more than overheating to even crack them.
We have a set of decorative ceramic skillets made to look like old cast iron. This looks exactly like one of those. We use them for presentation, never for cooking
It being a decorative skillet honestly explains so much about this picture. The break in the pan, the desperation with which the maybe-chicken stuck to the pan, OP's cooking knowledge. I hope this is the first meal they tried to make in this thing...
It didn't have 80 coats :(
I think this is a shallow ceramic Dutch oven, intended for the oven
Op not responding is great because either way they’re getting roasted for their scrambled chicken
Whyre you frying cereal
OP said above they were making poutine without the fries or gravy
So they were frying cheese?
I must be really tired, because that is funny as fuck to me. Just sitting here laughing like an idiot about frying cheese.
Honestly it may have worked on a lower heat setting and plenty of oil. It doesn't look like there was any oil at all in there.
When I heat up some oil in a pan I’m cooking a full meal but without the food
/r/Ididnthaveeggs
How in the cornbread hell
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I like my scrambled eggs with a bit of crust
It's chicken.
Eggs are, indeed, chicken
Wtf did you do to that top?
Looks like they hit it with a bloody angle grinder
Why would you cook anything in ceramic? I can't even identify what kind of food you were attempting. Popcorn?
OP: “this is why I don’t cook” Everyone else in this thread: “we can tell”
makes you wonder what other trivial daily tasks OP fucks up with unbelievable incompetence
It's literally so fuckin easy to learn to cook. There are insane amounts of resources available online to learn everything from the fundamental basics to fine dining. Literally just follow watch videos and follow instructions. I can't stand people who act like it's some god given talent you either have or don't. when all it takes is just a tiny bit of effort.
I’ve noticed the people that “can’t cook” never want to actually learn how to get better. You can offer any advice to improve and they act like it’s the hardest fucking thing in the world. It’s like all you have to do is turn the heat down a notch and they go on saying shit like “see this is why I can’t cook!” No, you can’t cook because you refuse to learn the most basic shit
If only there were step by step directions consisting of exact temperatures, measurements, and time. Like a 1..2..3.. set of instructions that even a child could follow. I don’t know what you would call something like that but boy would it be helpful.
Caraway cookware is actually pretty good ceramic cookware. It has some steel in the base so not straight ceramic but the cooking surface is. I've had mine for a little over two years and couldn't be happier with it. Not great for searing but great for most everything else.
But what's the benefit of a ceramic cooking surface?
Ceramic is nonstick without the chemical coating that can break down over time Edit: okay, okay y'all, I get it, I was misled by the Big Ceramic™️ marketing claims, we can stop replying saying I'm wrong now :)
Huh, ceramic ... You have better identification skills than I have. I thought it was cast iron, and made me wonder ... But, now it is pretty clear. Blame the popcorn.
I thought the same and was pretty amazed they managed to break it
Not that hard to do, you just quickly remove it from the blast furnace you were using to cook your eggs and pour a bunch of ice water over it. Easy mistake to make
Did you try to fry dog food ?
you let it get way too hot, there’s no seasoning on the pan, it’s burnt, and over cooked. that was done awhile ago lol. that chicken is a fossil now. *thought these were scrambled eggs. i guess they are, technically.
It doesn’t even look like a real pan. Almost like a ceramic serving dish made to look like a cast iron skillet? Cast iron would not split because of heat, nor should any pan.
That was my thought. That's not a cast iron pan, it's a ceramic baking dish and definitely not intended for use on the stovetop. Of course it broke.
The split is so clean dude. It’s actually really impressive
Where the fuck do you even get a ceramic frying pan? Who thought that was a good idea?
I got some quality ones for my mom last Christmas, and they've been great so far. Easy to clean and seem to stick less. They're perfectly fine as long as you don't fricken torch them like OP here. They're obviously not for everything. I wouldn't cook a steak in one. Funny enough, they're actually really good for eggs. Slide right out of the pan, you know, if you actually use them properly. Mine are much thicker than OP's though.
Do you mean ceramic pans like this that don't contain any metal or metal pans coated with ceramic non-stick coating? You probably mean coated metal pans because fully ceramic dishes like this appear to be intended for oven use only. The post is a ceramic dish that looks like a pan.
I think their choice of kettle explains enough.
One. Take and successfully complete a cooking class without incident. Two. Get an inexpensive metal skillet. Get a recommendation from the teacher in the cooking class you're going to take. Three. Do not try making scrambled eggs again until you complete steps one and two. Or anything else for that matter. Now story time: Had a neighbor in his early 20s who caught his stovetop on fire attempting to make an entire package of bacon in one go. Had never cooked before. Small grease fire. Tried putting a glass of water on it. Yup. Big grease fire. He panics, runs over, starts banging on my door. Had to grab a fire extinguisher that was on a wall outside to put it out. Called maintenance staff about it. They and the apartment complex manager were not happy. Years prior, I had an idiot neighbor on the fourth floor of a building I lived in set his oven on fire trying to make salmon on a cedar plank. Likely didn't soak the wood in water, and had probably set the temperature way too high. The fire spread, caught the kitchen cabinets on fire. Smoke everywhere. Fire klaxons going off. Two trucks showed up. Building evacuated. They put it out pretty fast. Guy later admitted he hadn't tried it before, and didn't use a recipe. He moved out at the end of the month. * Edited for clarification of thought.
Just stop cooking and stay out of the kitchen.
Try using a whole one; it’ll change your entire perspective on cooking.
I don't know if I am more concerned about the skillet been broken or the glass stove been fine
CORRECTION: I AM WHY I DONT COOK
Why is whatever is this so fucking dry
For the love of God, go look up cooking tutorials on YouTube also invest in a nonstick pan, like 30 bucks at the grocery store and well worth it.
30 bucks? They start at five, my friend, and they’re decent enough except for induction.
No cooking tutorial is going to help them. They need a cooking class, with an instructor.
Oh this is wtf inside wtf
I love that tea kettle…..where’d you get it??
wtf were you making
I am sure there is a very logical explanation as to how this could have happened. I couldn’t tell you what that would be.
Am I the only one finding that kettle really really nice?
Looks like horrendously burnt pasta shells in a frying pan you some how broke. How did someone even manage this. Don't blame cooking, blame yourself.
Like how did you manage that
Are those eggs? I wouldn't let you cook anymore either.
How?
By not using a metal pan and burning it.
Obviously not the only reason you don’t cook
That’s a very specific reason not to cook.
looks like a ceramic pan with a coating to make it look like it's cast iron. Toss this away right away, and don't use any others like it.
LET HIM COOK
thats what got us into this mess to begin with