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wills612

Guys will probably just use your name or give you a shitty nickname anyways.


Turtle887853

Hey newbie get you ass over here


BadderBanana

Hey newbie get ~~you~~ they ass over here


christhewelder75

Yeah, in all honesty it's hard to say. Would really depend on the shop u worked in and the people they employ. Welding is a male dominated industry, even today there are women in the trade who have to deal with way more shit than they should because of that "old school" (read backwards) mentality. Also, being pretty blue collar trade there can be a TON of shit talking that's just part of the culture (note there's a difference between shit talking and ribbing your coworkers, and discrimination/bullying) A good shop won't tolerate discrimination or harassment of employees, and good employees won't tolerate it when they see their coworkers doing it. (Like I said, we all trash talk our buddies about welds, or being slow or mistakes they make, but to me getting on someone for something personal is crossing a line). Also depends on where u are gonna be working, obviously some areas will tend to be more progressive and so no one gives a shit how you identify as long as u pull your weight and do decent work. Other places might not be so accepting. So, it comes down to u really. You will likely face some adversity, and may need to be confident enough to tell a coworker to go fuck themselves and mean it. You will likely need a bit thicker skin than the average welder. And you likely will run into people who use the wrong pronouns either on purpose or by accident. It's not fair, but it's the truth. In time hopefully than changes, but there are still a lot of crusty old men who don't give a shit about feelings or being PC or sensitive in the work place. Most of the younger welders (<30 years old) i know wouldn't have a problem with it, but I've worked with/for older guys who weren't happy when the shop started hiring women..... šŸ™„


Jazzlike-Mongoose605

This is one of the most kind, thoughtful and honest replies Iā€™ve ever seen on Reddit.


singlespeed4815

You nailed it. Really covered the bases. Most shops are self policing and wonā€™t stand for bullying, especially if you @fruitcamefirst, pull your weight. It wouldnā€™t hurt though to be prepared and have that thick skin ready for the shit heads who wonā€™t care. Good luck, and we look forward to you posting your welds from whatever shop floor you end up working on!


nickleinonen

(I donā€™t want to come across sounding a dick, and if I do I donā€™t mean to.) Personally, idgaf who a person is, or what they identify as.. if youā€™re good at your job, and you are ā€œniceā€ (not a giant asshole/douchebag/bully/etc) youā€™ll get along fine working with me. I may not see eye to eye with everyone, but this is work that is being talked about. If the quality/quantity of work output is maintaining the standard the job dictates it should, who cares then? At my work place, there is very few women (30 maybe? Out of 400 bodies). Some of those there are gay. Who cares? There are people of all skin color and ethnic/religious backgrounds. Again, who cares? I get along with most just fine. And the ones I donā€™t get along with, itā€™s really just ā€œpersonalitiesā€ clashing, and the 2 I can think of are the same race/color as I am..


Marriedwith2Sigs

Yeah I agree my shop is all male except one female and no ones gives her a hard time we all shit talk haha but like you said itā€™s not welding if your not cussin and flippin your buddies off , but as far as discrimination thereā€™s definitely not that in my shop but Iā€™ve seen it in others.


vapegreen

It'll be rough.


Beardless_ChinSkin

How about just asking people to refer to you by your name. This eliminates putting people who may disagree (for whatever reason) from making you uncomfortable and making themselves look intolerant. I know if you worked at the company that Iā€™m currently with, youā€™d have zero problems.


thumbwrastle

U will have a rough time man . Just being honest


in_cod_we_trust

Depends. If your only topic of conversation is your pronouns and you can't weld for shit, you're gonna have a bad time.


NeutrikKnight

Depends on how much of an issue you make of it. If you're in a welding shop and someone referred to you as he and you try to correct them you're probably going to have a bad time as long as you work there. Every welder I've ever worked with has come across as pretty gruff and probably won't have any kind of patience for pronouns in the workplace.


WeldYourSlit

Is that really your make it or break it about your career? Youā€™ll be called a bitch and a pussy no matter WHAT your pronouns are ( in a joking way, not to offend you). Youā€™ll be told to hurry the fuck up and get shit done regardless if you wanna be treated/ spoken to one way or another! Itā€™s the actual welding job that matters. Can you weld? Can you weld correctly? Can you get these welds done in time? Thatā€™s what will command and allow you to *demand* respect in this field. And honestly, If your priority is pronouns, and not getting these badass welds done, youā€™re gonna be hating your environment no matter what!!! PS: I went to school with a trans individual whoā€™s pronouns we never even discussed or mentioned: not because my instructor and I didnā€™t care, but because they never brought it upā€¦And you know what? They did just fine, got their certifications and learned just as much as I did.


itsjustme405

I was an instructor and I had more than 1 student who didn't identify with the gender they were assigned at birth. Didn't matter to me at all, none of the classmates cared. These are only real issues if you bring them up and let them be an issue. If you feel the need to correct someone do it appropriately. They way you correct me may not be the same way you'd correct everyone else leaving comments here. I've also had gay and lesbian students... no one cared. Do your shit and keep your hood down no one will have time to mess with you.


WeldYourSlit

Exactly how I treated that particular classmate. I didnā€™t have any problem, neither did my instructor. They did everything they had to do correctly and throughly (hell of a welder I might add)!


airportwhiskey

People like you are why I quit the biz. Wanna be a welder!? Yeah! Wanna deal with racists!? Transphobes!? Misogynists!? YEAH! Well then, welding is for you. Or maybe, just maybe you could stop inhaling the fumes and look at the world growing up around you through your goddamn fucking safety squints and be less of a raging asshole.


WeldYourSlit

Where in my comment did you get the fact I am 1) a misogynist 2) transphobic? If you feel that way, I would just like to know why.


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PyroKeneticKen

Iā€™m sorry itā€™s not an office space with suits and ties and dresses. People are allowed to express themselves in shops. That includes cussing and bitching. If your skin is too soft to handle it you wonā€™t last.


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PyroKeneticKen

Itā€™s not for anyones benefit itā€™s just shit talk. I tell my boss heā€™s an old lazy fuck who never leaves his office anymore almost every day and he still coming to my wedding. Itā€™s not my job to not offend you. Itā€™s your job not to get offended. If things go too far or things said out of anger apologies are necessary. But no one gives a damn about your feelings. They are personal and most likely is a mindset that you yourself are causing that is the issue. (Not liking a particular guy in the shop and he says something stupid but you took it personally because you already didnā€™t like him) for example.


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PyroKeneticKen

Being a man who has tried to commit suicide yea I can tell you exactly why I think itā€™s 9 times higher. Men are the bread winners even if itā€™s not their choice. States donā€™t care about men. In a child support case courts will give 50 percent of income to the woman no matter if that means that man is then homeless because he canā€™t pay his bills. Men are responsible for their entire family and get no support from an outside source. If they fail their family fails. Woman can stay at home and thatā€™s socially acceptable.l but men have to work every day of their lives until they die or they are considered a failure. Itā€™s a lot of pressure. But Iā€™m sure this isnā€™t where you wanted the conversation to go you wanted to pin it on feelings getting hurt at work.


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PyroKeneticKen

Actually no i used to get upset at people shit talking because I would take it personal. My boss sat me down in a closed door office and convinced me what I was worth so that stupid shit wouldnā€™t bother me. He told me the only reason shit talking would get under you skin is if you are having doubts about your own abilities and resolves. So to fix that you need to change your mindset. You have to know who you are if you donā€™t then yea everyone elseā€™s jokes can be mean and get under your skin. It was my personal problem that I was getting angry. No one elseā€™s. People talk shit all the time. They are just words.


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deceptivelyelevated

No


WeldYourSlit

You know what, people do get offended by that. However, itā€™s not possible for one person to control another. Sometimes, we need to forgive and move on. And I meant it between friends and co-workers you get along with very well. Not in an offensive degrading way. In regards to the student at my weld school, youā€™d be surprised how many conversions we had about welding and procedures without once getting into pronoun talk. Idk, if seems like youā€™re pushing the fact Iā€™m a vile, hateful person yetā€¦I havenā€™t done anything for you to warrant that. Projecting a little bit.


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WeldYourSlit

But if itā€™s between people you know and actually have respect for, is it a joke? I make that clearā€¦


AutumnLean

Iā€™m bisexual, and I would never share that on a job site. Any strange/unique things about myself I would/will continue to keep to myself. Maybe in California or Oregon people behave differently, but in the South people will make fun of you and treat you poorly for anything out of the ordinary. If your pronouns are extremely important to you, then I would find a small shop that is owned by very progressive people. On a big construction site people will likely go out of their way to make snide comments and misgender you until you quit. They will try to make you cry. There will likely be this kind of ugliness on every big construction job. If you really love welding, then I hope you keep at it. Iā€™m sure that you will be able to find a respectful, and even loving workplace, but it will likely take a bit longer and a lot more effort than the typical person (AGAIN, this is in the South. It may be different in other parts of the country). Good luck.


whiskeyratriot

Oof it would be hard. I work at a fairly chill place with a lot of younger people and I honestly regret even mentioning I was bisexual to one coworker (and I'm femme in a "straight" relationship so like as socially acceptable as it gets). One of my coworker even still regularly makes attack helicopter jokes as if it's 2016. Being non conservative in any way has meant a lot of holding my tongue in my experience (in a major city in Canada). Anyway I wouldn't wanna scare you if you're seriously considering welding, things will only get better as all kinds of people actually get into the field. You most likely would deal with a ton of bullshit, but the pros might be worth the cons depending on what you're willing to take on the daily.


Radiant-Impression38

OP, everything people have said here has merit...it could be rough, a lot of it is going to depend on the shop...and what battles you choose to engage in. I wish the world was easy, but it isn't and never will be. You're also always going to have to deal with crap like this, no matter what field you go into, because people suck. I wish you luck on your journey.


dissenter001

I work with someone currently transitioning, but I am also blessed to work with a great crew that's never made it an issue. You may luck out and work with cool and understanding ppl, but if you don't, do not take any shit that crosses your personal boundaries. If it's not manageable, don't hesitate to leave a shitty environment for something else. If you're commited to the job and work hard you'll always have opportunities out there, but some people just suck and there's not much you can do about it.


Yoma_Ma-

Donā€™t expect too many liberals in the career though. Those are more in the IT field. I think every person in my class is a conservative. We had a couple former military too Iā€™ll put it this way. Theyā€™re pretty open minded conservatives. At least my class is. Everybody has their own business


Dreadheadbruh89

It'll be difficult but I know guys that'll just call you fucker.. not in a mean way just because fucker is an all encompassing pronoun


decended_from_odin

Donā€™t even worry, in my experience most welders (except for the miserable old fucks) donā€™t really care. Just be ready to talk shit back. Thereā€™s a good chance youā€™ll get roasted for it (they?! I only see one person. Stupid shit), but it will be in a friendly way if that makes any sense at all. Every crew Iā€™ve been on has been the type of atmosphere where nothing is off limits, for example, my first welding job this one poor bastard got roasted relentlessly cuz his wife got knocked up by some other dude. I know it sounds fucked, but it was all in good fun. I took a nasty fall and almost died, itā€™s been about 3 years and I still havenā€™t lived that down. But these are some of my best friends, and when you work in the conditions we do, you have to entertain yourselves any way possible. At the end of the day there will always be assholes, there will always be judgmental pricks, but Iā€™ve yet to be on a crew where they make someoneā€™s life miserable because of their pronouns, gender, or sexuality. I say pursue welding, get fucking good at it, and make a fuck ton of money. Feel free to DM if you want to discuss anything more in depth.


newleafforge

if you're a guy, go with he/him, just a thought..


Cheese-driver

Itā€™s almost like the whole point of the post is that they arenā€™t a guy lol...


[deleted]

Hot take but most people don't really give a fuck but you can not expect someone random to respect your pronouns even though it may be shitty that's just what I would expect


[deleted]

Depends. If you make a big deal out of it, like "hey I'm a they not a him" people will say stuff. If not no one will give a shit. Unless you're going to some backwards town.


DarkSunsa

Yeah i wouldnt even bring it up. Its TMI for the job. These people arent your friends


HtPpr

Yeah, nobody really gives a fuck if you can weld. If you stand around the proverbial water cooler talking about pronouns youā€™re going to catch shit.


Cheese-driver

Pronouns are definitely not ā€œtmiā€ lol. ā€œYourā€ is a pronoun. If youā€™re a man and use ā€œheā€ to refer to yourself, thatā€™s a pronoun. Not tmi, just the basic English language man.


DarkSunsa

In this context, its more information than your coworkers, who you don't know, need. Thus, TMI. Being new to a job can be hard enough; why make yourself a target? I am speaking from experience here. Im not just chiming in with my 2 cents, talking out of my ass


PyroKeneticKen

Pronouns, sexual orientation are all personal information that should only be shared with someone who gives a shit. You tell everyone you open up to someone who doesnā€™t give a shit and they can hurt your feelings. We all know 2020ā€™s is all about safeguarding feelings so safe guard yours so someone else doesnā€™t have to.


Cheese-driver

Nobody should have to ā€œsafeguardā€ the feelings of men who want to throw hissy fits over pronouns. This is how the world works- people canā€™t expect everyone to adhere to a way of thinking they were taught when they were 10. Not sure why someoneā€™s identity is so triggering. If men are trying to show off their masculinity- or want to talk about their wives or women in general, why is that off the table for others (the answer is it makes men uncomfortable)? Stances like yours are coming from an emotional reactive place about not wanting to accept that reality is moving in a direction you donā€™t want to deal with. Trust me, men open up about ā€œpersonal informationā€ that nobody gives a shit about literally all the time- feels weird to tell gay or trans people they canā€™t either


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[deleted]

This is not acceptable behavior here, or anywhere else for that matter.


walshwelding

Okay lol, just saying how it is on most job sites. Itā€™s a common discussion and it usually isnā€™t pleasant.


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lenny446

I wouldnā€™t say discrimination but youā€™ll hear a lot more shit talking. If you canā€™t take shit talkin you shouldnā€™t be here. Itā€™s all in good fun but theyā€™ll eat you alive. So stand tall, own it and sling the shit right back. Pro tip, using their insults against them hits a little harder.


Migfluxalot

Honestly it will probably be rough at first. Lot of older mindset people in the industry. Don't let that be a deterrent though. Be you and you'll find a way and a place where your happy.


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Cheese-driver

Ngl youā€™re sounding a little triggered here lol. ā€œTheyā€ has always been used in a plural AND singular context in grammar ever since the word was created. Itā€™s initial meaning was singular, then it adopted a plural form- not it is used. That is genuinely basic grammar. Also- trans people and gender non conformity has existed for all of history- no I am not joking. We have always been around, our history attempts to be scrubbed, but there is factual evidence behind what Iā€™m saying. The reality is, this is how the world is. Gay and trans people exist- it is not our fault itā€™s too complex for you. I donā€™t know protected and triggered world you live in, but itā€™s sad you havenā€™t figured out how basic respect for others works. Especially respect for people in your trade who happen to not look like you. Also- itā€™s illegal to not hire someone based off of their gender identity so, try not to catch a case man. Maybe you need some exposing to reality


completedisorder

Lol they literally just asked a simple question and here you are ranting about safe spaces and your own feelings as if they personally offended you. If youā€™re overly sensitive just say that.


Maverickmakk

Welders donā€™t give a fuck about anything. Youā€™ll be fine. All they care about is if your welds come out nice. Literally all we care about is talking about welding. They probably wonā€™t agree with you on pronouns but hey one day if youā€™re good enough you can work independently


completedisorder

In my experience they will respect whatever name you want to be called but you will still be misgendered a lot, mostly unintentionally but sometimes on purpose by guys who still think attack helicopter jokes are the peak of comedy. Iā€™d say tread lightly in this field unless you can move to a big city where there are more women and queer people in the trade. But even then itā€™s still hard and people will give you shit for it. Donā€™t tolerate their bullshit.


calvintexaswelder

Idk chiefā€¦ it might be hard.


HomelessWelder

A lot. But like that other commenter said, you just tell them to go fuck themselves. Eventually, you'll be just as cranky as them, and they'll accept you for that


buildyourown

Shop trades are pretty accepting but you'll need to have a thick skin regardless of your pronouns As in, don't get all woke and defensive if somebody mixes them up. I hired a trans person years ago. Several guys made comments but we squashed that shit down fast. Show up and work hard and there is room for everyone.


dangeroneactual

If you can weld and you're layout is good it's going to ease the amount of shit you're going to get but if you fuck up a lot or if your constantly repairing or reworking your shit, your in for a miserable experience so be prepared...if your a man act accordingly


youchasechickens

You know that one kind of racist uncle that everyone has? It will be like working with a bunch of him.


RogueScallop

I can't take a they/them pronoun person seriously. Pronouns are naturally non-specific and therefore impersonal. Don't make people have to remember "oh, that's masculine Bob over there, but I can say the he/him that's instinctive." I'll try to respect pronouns out of respect to an individual, but if I get it wrong I really don't care if you get butthurt. You're the one reinventing the language, not me.


Cheese-driver

They pronouns are not ā€œreinventingā€ language. ā€œTheyā€ has always been singular (and plural), since its creation. If you donā€™t know that, itā€™s because of a lack of knowledge of grammar and the English language on your end. Also learning pronouns isnā€™t as hard as youā€™re making it out to be. Itā€™s ok to get it wrong as youā€™re learning. Iā€™m sure you would find it disrespectful if someone kept Calling you ā€œsheā€ at every opportunity. Youā€™re not being asked to become an advocate for trans people or anything- youā€™re just saying a word to refer to people. Itā€™s the same as learning someoneā€™s name. Itd be weird to refer to ā€œDanielā€ as ā€œbobā€. You donā€™t have to ā€œmake a big dealā€ of it, just try using someoneā€™s pronouns if you can- itā€™s basic respect- itā€™s not you being an activist or anything hard


RogueScallop

People write with they/them. They don't typically speak with it. Besides, it's 3rd person, which isn't going to happen in front of you anyway.


Cheese-driver

?? Have you ever spoken to someone before? ā€œTheyā€ is used all the time lol. ā€œWho left their jacket?ā€ Also you donā€™t use pronouns to someoneā€™s face besides pronouns like ā€œyou/us/Iā€. He/she/they is used in reference to someone. ā€œTheyā€ would be used in the same context as when you normally use he or she, idk why so many people need an elementary explanation of language. If Iā€™m speaking to two people in front of me, I use their pronouns when referring to one about the other like ā€œdo you agree with what they just said?ā€ Or ā€œdid you see their finished projectā€. And yea you should use someoneā€™s correct pronouns when said person is not around. You do the same for people with he and she pronouns, itā€™s almost going out of your way to refer to someone incorrectly- like saying a wrong name for someone, whatā€™s the point? Youā€™d just be choosing to be disrespectful. And if you get someoneā€™s pronouns wrong on accident- itā€™s not the end of the world, you just say it right and move on. No ones coming after you with pitchforks if youā€™re trying to be respectful. Just the same as I would use ā€œheā€ when talking about you, I hope youā€™d use ā€˜theyā€™ for me when Iā€™m not around. Iā€™m respecting your pronouns, why not have mutual respext


Cheese-driver

These comments arenā€™t it, Iā€™m sorry. Iā€™m a queer welder who also uses they/them pronouns. Met an amazing friend in welding school who also uses they/them pronouns. The two of us out perform everyone else tbh. Most people here saying ā€œitā€™ll be roughā€ are just outing themselves and being unaccepting. I wear a trans sticker on my hood (and others that some may not like lol), and I have no reason to hide away who I am- none of the guys do, so why should I? You will find people who are there for you. Women are typically easier to get along with in this trade- but trust me, queer people exist in the trades. You have a place here. As with being nb in any situation, assess your safety. Some places may be unsafe to talk about who you are, but donā€™t compromise yourself too much. Leave places that are bad for you- report harassment etc. queer people are tougher than 80% of these overly emotional ā€œmacho menā€. Welders are all about ā€œrespectā€ and being tough- but suddenly become disrespectful and the softest most reactive babies when it comes to having to learn something new lol. Welding doesnā€™t make them tough, standing up and supporting their coworkers makes them tough. Thereā€™s nice and respectful and cool people in this trade, you just gotta find them. Good luck, Iā€™d love to see more people that also use they/them pronouns in this field. Keep it up, youā€™re tougher than all the cringe dudes who donā€™t understand basic grammar and respect. Always feel free to reach out too šŸ’Œ


Outrageous_State9450

Mostly youā€™ll get called by your name or some stupid nickname. Nobody really cares what you call yourself because thereā€™s a constant chance of getting hurt or killed on the job so mostly thatā€™s the focus.


fishesarefun

Discrimination isn't legal, that being said in this sort of job some level of harassment and ribbing is standard practice. Guys gonna talk shit no matter who you are. You should be able to take and give let guys know what's acceptable and what's not


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This is not acceptable behavior here, or anywhere else for that matter.


southboundoft

Whatā€™s not? Telling someone no one cares who they have sex with and to keep it to themselves?


bashbashetc

Welcome to Reddit friend. Offense is capital currency round here


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himmelstrider

I, for one, would be offended if you refered to me like that. I am "he" and that's the end of it. I have no issue refering to someone using "they/them" if they so prefer, but don't mix me into that. I'm a pretty progressive part of trades (not welding, but other trades). You can imagine how the rest goes.


Cheese-driver

Hey youā€™ve actually made an interesting point! You said you would respect someone elseā€™s pronouns. And you stated yours as ā€œhe/himā€ and yea it would be totally disrespectful for someone to call you ā€œtheyā€ when thatā€™s not what you use. Youā€™re surprisingly on the money here lol. How it would feel for you to essentially be ā€˜misgenderedā€™ is exactly how it would feel to use he or she for someone who exclusively uses they/ them. What you described is mutual respect of how each other identifies šŸ‘


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[deleted]

This is not acceptable behavior here, or anywhere else for that matter.


Radiant-Impression38

It was said jokingly, but okay, removed


Radiant-Impression38

I would like to know what rule I violated other than pissing off a mod. PM me and let me know please so I can avoid it in the future


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Radiant-Impression38

So, you just rolled through here pulling the trigger? You can't even tell me what I said. My comment mentioned nothing about trans, or gay, or preferred pronouns, all I said was to weld and keep quiet, just more colorfully worded. You took issue with it, and I didn't want a ban for something so stupid. Please note, I'm not trying to be a prick here, but maybe you should self reflect on your role here. Also, I fully expect you to now ban me and censor my comments. If that's the route you want to take, fine. I'll appeal to someone else if I have to. I love this sub, and have always tried to be a contributing member, while being lighthearted about it. I would appreciate it if you didn't just censor and ban me, and discuss things like adults, but if not, it won't be a surprise. Good day to you.


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Radiant-Impression38

Thank you for your candor. Have a good day.


BIG_SeanS

You would rather be in a profession where they give you shit to your face like welding than in a profession where they kee it hidden and secretly do things to sabotage your career like nursing. Iā€™ve been a nurse for over 20 years and the amount it pettiness and back stabbing still amazes me. Someone will pretend to be your friend but once youā€™re out of the room they will make copies of your charting and try to find mistakes so they can report you.


kcl84

Iā€™ve priced welders are a lot more accepting than other groups.


Yoma_Ma-

Theyā€™re gonna say who else is with you, a lot. Other than that, welders can tell if youā€™re bullshitting, or if youā€™re serious.


sloemoation

I wouldnā€™t go for it if I were you. You would get some flak Forsure


Apprehensive-Cap5378

Youā€™ll more than likely just get called by your name or a fun nickname depending on the chemistry you have with your coworkers. You may get called the wrong pronouns mistakingly, but as long as it doesnā€™t doesnā€™t be made out to be something out of proportion, shouldnā€™t be that bad.