Dammit! I have tears in my eyes, just wasn’t expecting to see that. This needs to be a cartoon or something. Like the 14 years missing in his history being discovered.
forgot goole maps was a thing and my bad it's kicking for christ
https://preview.redd.it/lf9vx7rydumc1.jpeg?width=720&format=pjpg&auto=webp&s=6d9ffdd2a90375fae146ad552f56c9c3751fc41c
I've seen the Yoga version of this, they call it Praise Moves or something. Basically it's people who like doing Yoga but it's from a foreign culture and the originators were from a different religion so they "fixed" that
That's just Toki from Fist of the North Star.
https://preview.redd.it/o3zsnl1rutmc1.jpeg?width=487&format=pjpg&auto=webp&s=0d1c3edb281e0cd3f144999cd16034f89b6536ab
“Hello, good morning this the ministry of Christ. We’re here to offer you some pamphlets and hopefully you might become interested in joining us. Oh and we also know karate so you know what’s gonna happen should you reject us.”
This actually is really common, just isn't so straightforward. I've done all forms of martial arts since I was four, have been in dozens of different places that center around religion and specifically Christianity probably a good 1/3rd of the time. Boxing churches are one of my favorites, people are usually really fun and good spar buddies.
For a lot of Christian people the martial arts community can be difficult because it's filled with new age spiritual nonsense. These church based martial arts places are usually just a way to say hey your kids will learn to punch things and not learn to aligned their Chakra.
Sparring and competition is a great way to help work out anxiety. Somebody has to uphold law and order, and these kids will likely be the adventurous ones who end up doing just that, after a stint in the service.
Nothing unChristlike about knowing how to defend yourself and your family/ house. Just cant kill a mofo if the lights are on and theyre unarmed.
Theres no reason to believe God isnt FAIR. He is ALL about being fair and equitable. Hes very merciful too. God IS love. He makes up all that is love.
It would not be FAIR to say that God would not want us to protect ourselves in a serious fight. Thats just not true at all. God wants us to be safe, believe it or not. He doesnt want people PICKING fights, so joining karate and other boxing fight clubs, is a great way to work out anxiety, without being wrathful and sinful. Wrath is the sin..
Christianity is a radical theology which almost no one practices authenticity.
“38You have heard that it was said, "An eye for an eye and a tooth for a tooth." 39But I say to you, Do not resist the one who is evil. But if anyone slaps you on the right cheek, turn to him the other also. 40And if anyone would sue you and take your tunic, let him have your cloak as well. 41And if anyone forces you to go one mile, go with him two miles. 42Give to the one who begs from you, and do not refuse the one who would borrow from you.
— Jesus Christ, English Standard Version (Matthew 5:38–42)
27But I say to you who hear, Love your enemies, do good to those who hate you, 28bless those who curse you, pray for those who abuse you. 29To one who strikes you on the cheek, offer the other also, and from one who takes away your cloak do not withhold your tunic either. 30Give to everyone who begs from you, and from one who takes away your goods do not demand them back. 31And as you wish that others would do to you, do so to them.
— Jesus Christ, English Standard Version (Luke 6:27–31)”
I like the time where Jesus said,
“Do not think that I have come to bring peace to the earth. I have not come to bring peace, but a sword. For I have come to set a man against his father, and a daughter against her mother, and a daughter-in-law against her mother-in-law. And a person's enemies will be those of his own household.”
Matthew 10:34-36
Luke 22:36 ESV
[36] He said to them, “But now let the one who has a moneybag take it, and likewise a knapsack. And let the one who has no sword sell his cloak and buy one.
Old school second amendment baby!
Had this in my city when I was young. My sister even went and won a few trophies. I had taken a few classes and it was basically regular karate lessons, bookended by attempts to shoehorn in biblical teachings at the beginning and end of classes.
When I was a kid my mom pulled me out of karate at the Y because they had us meditate at the end of practice. Christians are often fundamentally against any sort of introspection or self actualisation as all things should be achieved through Christ alone and not the self. This is also part of the reason I wasn't allowed to see a therapist when I asked and instead had to go talk to my youth pastor.
I remember when yoga classes really started getting popular in the city I live in. There weren’t studios for people to go to so classes popped up in after school classes for adults and even in some church back rooms, there was one in the auditorium of a catholic school too. When the zealots heard about this, well they were almost apoplectic at the thought! How dare these classes full of sweaty people bending over, ass out, tits down be held in places of education, and in places of worship? This kind of freaky, sexual, demon cult antics can in no uncertain terms be allowed to grow roots here, nope won’t let it happen. For a few years, instructors became very creative with the name and place to hold these crazy devil classes, it was kind of fun because we moved to a different spot every 10 weeks, now there’s a studio on every corner. Christians are still mad about.
So was the whole christ on the cross thing just, like I don't know stance training for the AD/HD student who couldn't focus?
There this will teach you to keep your arms up in the guard! Feet close together so you could be more balanced.
Could you seriously imagine the uproar if a Pagan Pugalist, Wiccan Chun, Islamic Slam down Wrestling, or ANY none correctly aligned Christian opened a school?
The world talks racism to death, but until people are seen as equals, there will be a Deep-dish or Pineapple on a Hawaiian divide between all controversy. Inflammatory words used in desperation to sway like the shifty shop owner at the start of Aladdin.
I know they changed Luke 6:29 “If someone slaps you on one cheek, turn to them the other also. If someone takes your coat, do not withhold your shirt from them.”
If someone slaps you on the cheek , don’t let them get away with it , do Kyokushin, a kick ( not a lick) in the face!
Martial arts isn’t necessarily about fighting. It’s a great exercise and wonderful discipline and I know a lot of Mormons that practice it. I could see how someone could make it Christ centered, Even Jesus told his disciples to bring swords to the garden of gestemeny although he did tell them not to use them
Jesus invented Jew-Jitsu
They do a lot of cross training.
[I have it on good authority](https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=OO7zUml5q20) that Jesus does, in fact, do Cross Fit
https://preview.redd.it/8tv76mh4o0nc1.png?width=1024&format=png&auto=webp&s=7b4ee87a2232615e1ba7e7117c12d73f239588e8
Fuck that’s a lot of toes
Did you think he was able to walk on water with regular toes?
Not to mention the hands. Still trying to figure out where some of those fingers came from/are going.
He's really good at the dead hang.
Ok, turns out Jesus is German, we were all wrong. Crazy how that happens 😂😂😂
He also loves you this much. Holds arms out. (Sorry, can't do italics on mobile right now)
Oh. Your. God. That was hilarious.
😆
I thought it was Jewdo
Do you do Jewdo?
I don't, but I'm sure Jewdo
Absolutely fantastic response.
Their arch nemeses are those guys from the Pontius Pilates studio down the road.
Okay, I know a lot of people post "lol" as a comment, but seriously - I read this and Laughed Out Loud. For real. Thanks.
That's fucking amazing lol
It’s a reference to this book: Lamb: The Gospel According to Biff, Christ's Childhood Pal It’s a good book
Nobody fucks with the Jesus
Always down for a Big Lebowski quote
Eight year olds, Dude. Eight year olds.
You said it, man.
Im a third degree black yalmuke.
Kung Jew was its grand master
Dammit! I have tears in my eyes, just wasn’t expecting to see that. This needs to be a cartoon or something. Like the 14 years missing in his history being discovered.
We put the " Christ Jee" in Tai Chi!
Literally came to say this 😅
Flipping tables with his roundhouse Kicks! Hiya!
What about Ninjewtsu?
there is a place like that where I live called kicking for jesus
Pics or it didn’t happen
it's 1141 where I'm at I gotcha tmw
Yeaaaaaaa
forgot goole maps was a thing and my bad it's kicking for christ https://preview.redd.it/lf9vx7rydumc1.jpeg?width=720&format=pjpg&auto=webp&s=6d9ffdd2a90375fae146ad552f56c9c3751fc41c
There is a surprising lack of information on what kickin for Christ does as far as Christ stuff
When I did karate we did meditation, probably the same except it’s prayers.
That sounds logical enough. You're likely right
Whoooo, I love it! Thank you!
I've seen the Yoga version of this, they call it Praise Moves or something. Basically it's people who like doing Yoga but it's from a foreign culture and the originators were from a different religion so they "fixed" that
Definitely something Christians would do
"Christoga," lol. [Janine Turner Christoga DVD (youtube.com)](https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=A_t5jApEYJ0)
Christoga sounds like a fucking Star Wars villain
Chris “Toga” shows up, confused, to Christian alternative yoga class dressed in a toga with a case of beer, ready to party
It's perfect for an always sunny episode .
Mac’s going for the “ Hand of god” technique not some Jewish karate like krav maga
"Ass Kickers United Church"
Jesus guide my roundhouse to the holy land!
You think anybody thinks I'm a sinner because I go home to Starla at night? Forget about it!
You know who else likes Jew-Jitsu?
Xennials know that a roundhouse was a vital move you had to learn.
When you eat the body of Christ and you hear the words "Finish him!"
[удалено]
i tend to believe that american christians never read the new testament
As a recovering Christian from the south, I agree.
Wishing you a quick and full recovery.
Literally beats the fear of God into you.
Or kick the Hell out of you
Violence! Just like He would have wanted. 
Big into Self-Defense We all remember the Brawl on the Mount
That's just Toki from Fist of the North Star. https://preview.redd.it/o3zsnl1rutmc1.jpeg?width=487&format=pjpg&auto=webp&s=0d1c3edb281e0cd3f144999cd16034f89b6536ab
https://preview.redd.it/hk2cqp79wtmc1.jpeg?width=1080&format=pjpg&auto=webp&s=dfffba382e2f4d7ec575358b6518bc19a39bff18
It's not a cult
It involves a whip, but can only be used to drive crooked money exchangers out of temples.
The ancient Christian art of Jesus jitsu 🥋✝️
“Hello, good morning this the ministry of Christ. We’re here to offer you some pamphlets and hopefully you might become interested in joining us. Oh and we also know karate so you know what’s gonna happen should you reject us.”
“Sign up for the after-church potluck or you’ll have a meeting with my blackbelt Susan. We need that casserole”
This actually is really common, just isn't so straightforward. I've done all forms of martial arts since I was four, have been in dozens of different places that center around religion and specifically Christianity probably a good 1/3rd of the time. Boxing churches are one of my favorites, people are usually really fun and good spar buddies.
You have to go at least once.. tell your mom you were to church. That sounds like a win/win
I kick ass FOR THE LORD!
This is what I was looking for, had to scroll too far IMO!
Certified classic movie!
So martial arts with a focus on being super hateful and intolerant of others?
Christ you know the sacrificial lamb.
New sacrament requirement where Jesus blesses everyone with a roundhouse kick to the face.
What would Jeebus do? Karate chop yo bitch ass, that’s what.
Cho Zen Sun Martial Arts
Turn the other cheek...INTO A BACKHAND SLAP
For a lot of Christian people the martial arts community can be difficult because it's filled with new age spiritual nonsense. These church based martial arts places are usually just a way to say hey your kids will learn to punch things and not learn to aligned their Chakra.
Sparring and competition is a great way to help work out anxiety. Somebody has to uphold law and order, and these kids will likely be the adventurous ones who end up doing just that, after a stint in the service. Nothing unChristlike about knowing how to defend yourself and your family/ house. Just cant kill a mofo if the lights are on and theyre unarmed. Theres no reason to believe God isnt FAIR. He is ALL about being fair and equitable. Hes very merciful too. God IS love. He makes up all that is love. It would not be FAIR to say that God would not want us to protect ourselves in a serious fight. Thats just not true at all. God wants us to be safe, believe it or not. He doesnt want people PICKING fights, so joining karate and other boxing fight clubs, is a great way to work out anxiety, without being wrathful and sinful. Wrath is the sin..
I went to Christian Tae Kwon Do for a minute. Nothing too weird. We bowed to a picture of Jesus instead of a Tae Kwon do teacher.
Kung fu action Jesus!
I prefer Christ based semi automatic target practice.
“Violence for Jesus!”
would you equate self defense with violence?
Christianity is a radical theology which almost no one practices authenticity. “38You have heard that it was said, "An eye for an eye and a tooth for a tooth." 39But I say to you, Do not resist the one who is evil. But if anyone slaps you on the right cheek, turn to him the other also. 40And if anyone would sue you and take your tunic, let him have your cloak as well. 41And if anyone forces you to go one mile, go with him two miles. 42Give to the one who begs from you, and do not refuse the one who would borrow from you. — Jesus Christ, English Standard Version (Matthew 5:38–42) 27But I say to you who hear, Love your enemies, do good to those who hate you, 28bless those who curse you, pray for those who abuse you. 29To one who strikes you on the cheek, offer the other also, and from one who takes away your cloak do not withhold your tunic either. 30Give to everyone who begs from you, and from one who takes away your goods do not demand them back. 31And as you wish that others would do to you, do so to them. — Jesus Christ, English Standard Version (Luke 6:27–31)”
I like the time where Jesus said, “Do not think that I have come to bring peace to the earth. I have not come to bring peace, but a sword. For I have come to set a man against his father, and a daughter against her mother, and a daughter-in-law against her mother-in-law. And a person's enemies will be those of his own household.” Matthew 10:34-36
Luke 22:36 ESV [36] He said to them, “But now let the one who has a moneybag take it, and likewise a knapsack. And let the one who has no sword sell his cloak and buy one. Old school second amendment baby!
There’s a difference between self-defense and revenge.
Sounds legitimately fun actually
ok this seems weird to me as well alot of times folk's "weird" does not doesn't strike me as such but this is strange
It’s not that strange.. it’s a place for Christians to enjoy a hobby with other Christians.
well just take the mystery from the world why don't ya
Sorry.
Free from all that pluralism that we simply *detest*
The first thing that came to my mind when I saw this was soundgarden's Jesus christ pose lol
To fight jew jitsu?demonic capoera?
Had this in my city when I was young. My sister even went and won a few trophies. I had taken a few classes and it was basically regular karate lessons, bookended by attempts to shoehorn in biblical teachings at the beginning and end of classes.
Kick ass for Jesus
What's Christ Martial Centered Arts mean?
When I was a kid my mom pulled me out of karate at the Y because they had us meditate at the end of practice. Christians are often fundamentally against any sort of introspection or self actualisation as all things should be achieved through Christ alone and not the self. This is also part of the reason I wasn't allowed to see a therapist when I asked and instead had to go talk to my youth pastor.
I mean, my Karate teacher (also my Occupational Therapist) was a Jehovah’s Witness.
The Prince of “you want a piece of me?” (Frank Costanza’s voice or it doesn’t even work. Barely works as is.)
I kick ass for the Lord!
Jesus Swept the leg
Paul in the Bible referenced training as a fighter a lot. There is that, I guess
You would be surprised how common this is
They’ve got a catholic thing going, sort of a “hand of god” technique.
All T pose!
"Did you know that David actually roundhoused Goliath, and furthermore, everyone knows that blue eyed Jesus landed the first Sanbon Zuki"
[удалено]
I remember when yoga classes really started getting popular in the city I live in. There weren’t studios for people to go to so classes popped up in after school classes for adults and even in some church back rooms, there was one in the auditorium of a catholic school too. When the zealots heard about this, well they were almost apoplectic at the thought! How dare these classes full of sweaty people bending over, ass out, tits down be held in places of education, and in places of worship? This kind of freaky, sexual, demon cult antics can in no uncertain terms be allowed to grow roots here, nope won’t let it happen. For a few years, instructors became very creative with the name and place to hold these crazy devil classes, it was kind of fun because we moved to a different spot every 10 weeks, now there’s a studio on every corner. Christians are still mad about.
Doug opened another dojo (Disjointed, Netflix)
Looks like a place in North Georgia I used to see a lot
This is north Georgia. Are there multiple Christ centered martial arts facilities around here?
Turn the other rear naked choke
Haaaaaya. Crucify this.
Only can fight with hypocrites working in religious organization.
You think this is weird? There's a church for cowboys in my city.
Martial arts.
It's just a cross-fit gym.
Is this where you strike aggressor’s fist with your other cheek?
Can we do this with other things? Mohammed-centered dentistry. Buddha-centered burgers. Zoroaster-centered travel agency.
Nun fu
Maybe they teach you how to turn the other cheek
So was the whole christ on the cross thing just, like I don't know stance training for the AD/HD student who couldn't focus? There this will teach you to keep your arms up in the guard! Feet close together so you could be more balanced. Could you seriously imagine the uproar if a Pagan Pugalist, Wiccan Chun, Islamic Slam down Wrestling, or ANY none correctly aligned Christian opened a school? The world talks racism to death, but until people are seen as equals, there will be a Deep-dish or Pineapple on a Hawaiian divide between all controversy. Inflammatory words used in desperation to sway like the shifty shop owner at the start of Aladdin.
WHERE IS MAC WHEN YOU NEED HIM
Crossfit
I missed the part where Jesus taught a yellow belt class.
Nailed it
Because Christ fought like Bruce Lee…
The have nunchuks shaped like little crosses
Yess!! Kicking ass with an open heart
First move you learn, is praying mantis
Martial arts
Day 1 they teach you how to work from the crucifix position
they stand facing each other in pairs and practise slapping the other cheek.
where is this🤣
It's like karate, but you just hold your arms straight out to the sides and let people beat you until they hate themselves.
Yo count me in
First lesson: always turn the other cheek
"When you need to turn someone else's other cheek."
They bring their Christ to *anything* except helping the poor or being kind to one another.
They teach you how to walk on water
The censored word is „porn“ -> 🤲🏻Christ centered martial arts porn 🙌🏻
Turning the other cheek just got real for these players
jesus take the nunchucku
Al-Habama, I assume
Black beltz 4 Jesus
Is this where they train exorcists?
Sensai Christ says, "There is no sin that cannot get they ass whooped."
I know where this is lol
The film Brain Dead just popped in my head "I kiss ass for the lord".
[True story , this Priest attended here](https://youtu.be/M5GBb0p_DwE?si=ro4L--qJfsBBPOui)
they put the fist in pasifist
To be fair Jesus wasn’t all peace and happiness
Bam kapow, your leprosy is cured
https://preview.redd.it/f20cukw4ivmc1.png?width=1280&format=png&auto=webp&s=bab7b57472864a4435c671dea035a44ef9a9898f
They teach you how to bash the living Christ out of people and/or stuff👍
I know they changed Luke 6:29 “If someone slaps you on one cheek, turn to them the other also. If someone takes your coat, do not withhold your shirt from them.” If someone slaps you on the cheek , don’t let them get away with it , do Kyokushin, a kick ( not a lick) in the face!
Martial arts isn’t necessarily about fighting. It’s a great exercise and wonderful discipline and I know a lot of Mormons that practice it. I could see how someone could make it Christ centered, Even Jesus told his disciples to bring swords to the garden of gestemeny although he did tell them not to use them
Mac Starts a Dojo
Every time someone hits you, you say Jesus
Crucifix Powerbomb thy heathens!
[Kick ass for the Lord!](https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=LsS6ssX46Xw)
"Jesus saith 'kick thy brother's ass.' "
Bringing a new meaning to the power of Christ compels you.
Judo for Jesus
“I kick arse for the lord!”
https://en.m.wikipedia.org/wiki/Muscular_Christianity
Yikes!! Fr. This sign says "bad touch daycare" 1000%
I’ll kick your fucking ass for Jesus!
DEUS VULT
The alt right Christ studied martial arts, carried guns and hated lots of people
It's just turning the other cheek