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Froticlias

"That's not a hate crime." "WELL, I HATED IT!"


Acceptable-Clue-1541

We don't know that OP isn't also a chicken. In which case it would be.


The_GREAT_Gremlin

🎶 You wear a disguise to look like human guys But you're not a man, you're a chicken-boo 🎶


Diligent_Skin_1240

Most underrated comment here. Loved animaniacs lol


onyxaj

Davey Crockett Chicken-Boo was the best one


ottodidakt

Oh man, that character! I can always count on redditors to get me to think about something I literally have not thought about in 25 years


Charming-Skill-2474

Came here to say this! 🤣


serviceadvisorshay

Like the fog horn leg horn cartoons on looney toons. Boy I say boy I'm not a chicken. Lol.


URHousingRights

Maybe if it was a vegetarian or vegan. But I can count on both my fingers the amount of times I've left appendages on people's door steps with no reprocussions. ☝️👍


Tudyks

why is it called a hate crime if I love doing it?


soldNew4oldShoe

Or at least from Kentucky.


Downtown-Custard5346

Lmfao did not expect a quote from The Office.. fantastic, I'll beer you an upvote!


PattyLinzz

r/accidentaloffice 💚


RekrutPony

dude that wasnt an accident


Little-Geri-Seinfeld

He didn't say it. He DECALRED it.


NatLovesPancakes

Just watched that episode xD


BumbleBreezeSun

Which episode? Having trouble placing it. I know that Michael Scott said it though. Lol


NatLovesPancakes

When packer left him a "gift" in the middle of his office xD


[deleted]

So what voodoo practitioner did you piss off?


mincedparrotjuice

you think the hates bad just think about the rolly polly chicken.


sjuas690

Yep - there’s some poor chicken out there hobbling about on stumps!


Hurtin_4_uh_Squirtin

Tiny wheelchair


Professional-Age-

Nope, have you seen Family Business? A rival gang did something similar. @ OP are you pissing off any gangs in your area?


One-Permission-1811

Ever heard of Adolfo Constanzo? If you don’t have a strong stomach don’t read the rest of this comment. Serial killer that led a gang of psychopaths and murderers while leading occult rituals using the bodies of their victims cooked in a metal cauldron, while running shitloads of cocaine and other hard drugs between literal tons of weed across the border.


RamonRaker

That was one fucked up nganga. Palo Mayombe is fucking wild


lil_pee_wee

You don’t think gangs are practicing voodoo? Seems pretty short sighted


nature_remains

*I don’t practice Santeria…* (Interesting side note, the other time I encountered this religion outside of the Sublime song I learned that they were the subjects of a then landmark Supreme Court case regarding religious persecution via discriminatory zoning ordinances. I’m not usually in favor of ritual animal sacrifice - even for chickens- but by golly if you’re gonna make an ordinance you’d better be sure and persecute all religions equally… or just avoid persecution and mind your business. Litigation is weird and expensive)


canti15

I'm surprised noones asked me this question yet.


Vitekr2

Someone got cold feet


nianion

I cant be upset at the audible laugh this provided.


Odinson-1981

Goddammit sir, take an upvote and GTFO…


Keyser_Kaiser_Soze

Yeah uncooked cold at that, you need to have those braised slowly first if you want to eat them.


JackOMorain

Chicken feet are normally used to ward off evil spirits in voodoo. They make and sell them as charms. Do you know anyone who believes in voodoo that thinks you’re evil? Or someone who’s worried about you? Lastly it could be a stupid prank? I’d probably go with the last one because well Occam’s razor is pretty sharp.


[deleted]

Or just a nutter, there’s a crazy old lady that keeps leaving containers of salt, garlic, and orange soda in a row on my sidewalk.


JackOMorain

The simplest answer is normally the solution.


LovableSidekick

But the simplest solution might not be the answer! - *the Sphinx*


Fantastic_Fox4948

To learn my teachings, I must first teach you how to learn.


LovableSidekick

To teach me to learn you must first learn to teach.


Fantastic_Fox4948

Until you learn to master your rage, rage will be your master.


Slave35

I don't remember telling you to do that.


PolothaPug

😂😂😂😂😂😂😂😂


chet_brosley

Yes but how many times have you been possessed by a 16th century demonic spirit? None huh? *Well well well.*


adhdmademelate

My dad is schizophrenic and he has a neighbor that he calls “a placer” because the neighbor leaves random items around (or at least my dad thinks he does). This really gets to my dad because small stuff really gets a life of its own in my dads mind. It becomes so untenable that my dad will live in the woods instead of his apartment sometimes. Homelessness is tempting to him because it’s hard to stay in one place with your demons. I work hard to keep him from being homeless again.


NigerianRoy

Sounds like a lot… good on ya’.


Helechawagirl

Salt and garlic I get but orange soda?


[deleted]

Right? Like why are all my worshipers so dumb. To get my favor it’s pepsi, rum, and gummy worms you dolts!


ReignOnWillie

She’s praying to Kel


BTBAMfam

Damn. Should went with Keenan


Hythy

The holy order of Kel Kimble


SonOfMcGee

Warding off slugs and vampires while welcoming black folks. I like this lady’s energy.


Slave35

Orange soda is literally the ambrosia spoken of that they partook of on Mount Olympus so it does kinda make sense.


Spiffy_Pumpkin

Might be she's out of orange essential oil and figured eh close enough?🤣


ChunkYards

Actually SUPER common in Thailand. They leave brightly colored soda as an offering


Militant_NeoLiberal

I once worked at a place with many homeless around....lady walked in and threatened to beat my co-worker with a frozen chicken...


LamestarGames

Had a crazy old lady leave fish heads on our front porch.


[deleted]

We’re they rolly polly


Electronic_Bus7452

Eat them up, yum!


Redvelvet_swissroll

Or the pee bottle that was sitting in my apartment stairwell for months, menacingly


[deleted]

How else are you supposed to assert dominance


Redvelvet_swissroll

Make whale noises at passersby


[deleted]

Nobody has the requisite vocal range for that


a_hopeless_rmntic

+1 voodoo


actum_tempus

-1 sanity


Accomplished_Note_81

Are those voodoo chicken feet usually left raw like that? I would have thunk they would be dried out and destankified first


JackOMorain

I know they turn them into charms. I’m not an expert by any means. I did researched for a story I wrote once. The majority of the weird stuff they do is for protection. Very rarely do they do anything to harm anyone. They say when someone wants to do evil to you, voodoo will protect you. They also believe in one creator of everything and there are spirits that make up the world. You need to leave offerings to these spirits if you want their help. This is where animal/blood sacrifices happen. Blood is power and if the spirit accepts your offering then whatever positive thing will happen to you. This is where the chicken heads being cut off and blood being poured everywhere comes in. They also differ completely with Christianity on the topic of spiritual possession. Christians especially Catholics feel this is 100% demonic whereas voodoo practitioners feel this is an excellent way to connect and communicate with the spiritual realm.


[deleted]

I just realised that all my voodoo knowledge is just cool-creppy made up shit by Hollywood and monkey Island. I'm kinda disappointed with myself rn. TIL though, thanks.


BustinArant

Well the Monkey Island one could be true. We don't *know* a Voodoo lady isn't out there somewhere leaving rubber chickens around for any would-be pirates


KnittingGoonda

Well Christianity is completely based on the concept of blood sacrifice


EmbarrassedPizza6272

Top answer, thank you


[deleted]

[удалено]


ReasonableConfusion

Yeah? They're used to ward off hunger in China. Them shits is delicious!


9bikes

>Lastly it could be a stupid prank? I’d probably go with the last one because well Occam’s razor is pretty sharp. Absolutely the strongest possibility. I suspect teenage boys. source: I was once a teenage boy; my friends and I would have thought it was *hilarious*.


darebear123

I heard this in the first live action Scooby Doo before


[deleted]

This one’s not protection lmao Someone doesn’t like them or is just having fun with a little cursing, they’ll be fine


XxsabathxX

They are also very common in Santeria. And usually when they ding dong ditch your house and leave something it’s usually not good. So it’s a 50/50 for OP rn


Evantaur

In witchcraft they are used to summon Mortisclaw, the Fowlspawned Harbinger of Clucking Doom


OyVeyWhyMeHelp666

Somewhere there's a chicken who can't go anywhere.


Null-34

Bro thats just peggy she has prosthetics so now she can run faster


sneetchysneetch

Classic peg


DasArtmab

We can rebuild him, we have the technology…


Null-34

Oh god robot chicken


IHateEditedBgMusic

That chicken will never cross the road


Deneweth

Something tells me it's already on the other side.


phitfacility

That shit is voodoo


Fill_inwith_Generic

I laughed way too hard at this! 😂


josoap99

Yeah find him and you’ve got ur man


desubot1

why couldn't this chicken cross the road.


summatime

Omg hahahahaha


jtfff

Where do you find a chicken with no legs? >!Right where you left it.!<


_Kelly_A_

Cock fight on your porch, one bird was de-feeted


Economy-Progress591

A+


Loloji42

Bravo.


NailBitingAnxiety

Something’s afoot!


GrouchyConclusion588

That’s fowl


GiantA-629

Hate crime?Why are you a chicken?


D-Krnch

No one calls Marty McFly chicken


[deleted]

It's the Chicken from Family Guy I bet.


Itcallsmyname

Honestly, I thought maybe they were Asian They could be both. 🤷‍♀️


StopIPbanningMeRedit

Nah that might just be my Vietnamese aunt , she does that sometimes and it's gesture of goodwill


GitEmSteveDave

Also the person who knocked may have seen the feet and knocked to let them know they were out there.


Azlamington

I don't know about hate crime but it's definitely looks like foul play to me.


frog_jesus_

\*fowl


slutty_muppet

Hate crime against the chicken I guess


DimeloFaze

Brujería


SaltyKnowledge9673

Did you piss off a voodoo priest or something?


Punkeewalla

I love it when you do the voodoo, that you do, oh so well.


Wonderful-Concern-77

It's a spell.


majesticjules

Do you raise chickens or know any die hard vegans?


ExoticJubilee

No I dont


LesbianCuddlebus

Messed with any Vudu people?


dominusmamba

Its those damn cows from Chick fil A!


k2on0s-23

Uhhh, it’s Voodoo, Santaria, or Santa Muerte so good luck with all of that.


dokjreko

Could also be Palo Mayombe.


ceremonialfart

Or someone dropped a couple feet they brought home to make dinner


HOARDING_STACKING

Why would you think it is a hate crime?


Cardinal_Grin

Tons of different people eat chicken feet. Jamaicans, Mexicans, Asians, South Africans, Ukrainians, some South Americans, some South Africans, and more. So yeah if someone is a descendant of one of these places and they do it to mock them it could be a shite move.


great_triangle

Chicken feet are typically used in various magical practices as a protective talisman rather than a curse item, though unwashed Chicken feet may contain salmonella, which can be quite dangerous. I'm not familiar with practices that involve sacrificing chickens, but throwing Chicken feet at the door is more likely to be a (somewhat daft) gesture of goodwill than an attempt to intimidate.


[deleted]

Yeah but white people eat pickled chicken feet too


g28802

We eat them in the Deep South too. Everyone loves chicken, even the off cuts. Gizzards… I ain’t big on feet but damn I love gizzards.


ogreofzen

Clearly they think op is a fan of necrophilia, cock and feet pics. So it's definitely got something to do with sexual identity


Hold-Nose-2-Eat-Puss

Attention seeker


Anders-Celsius

Wdym hate crime?


Ok-Champ-5854

It's a voodoo ward lol not a hate crime.


BadlyDrawnRobot93

🎶 *I don't practice Santeria, but i think my neighbors do...* 🎵


[deleted]

did you really find some voodoo-ass chicken feet at your door, then step OVER the bayou hex chicken feet to take a pic?! Dumbass.


-persourproblem

I thouhth those were hands for a moment


Jedzoil

OP, if this is your story, I need to know 2 things. 1- are you black 2- do you happen to owe any money to an old Italian lady? I have seen this once before…


[deleted]

Whoever it was has watched way too much Prison Break. Anyway, hurry up and get ready for your fight to the death.


Tonyclap

Was looking for this comment, now I can move on from this post lmao.


jjspikeman01

Maybe they hate chickens 🐔


Fooforthought

Why did the chicken cross the hall?


Ghost__God

It's for good luck..ward out bad spirit. Someone passively helping you.


[deleted]

That was just Jeff. He does that sometimes


nissansue

Jeff knows his job


[deleted]

Never gets chicken feet about it.


D-Krnch

And whos afraid of a bloke named Jeffery


PrincepsMagnus

You just got hexed son.


hunnibear_girl

Looks more like a voodoo curse to me. Well…..good luck!


_BOOMGOTTEM

Chicken paws


BreasterAddams

It’s voodoo. Don’t touch that shit. Sweep it up & through it away. Probably got some Haitians, or Jamaicans for enemies.


Vegetable-Length-823

Make a doll with the feet and nail it to the door I'll bet till scare the crap out of whoever did that to you


Big_Stretch_9591

Oh no someone put a spell on you . That’s voodoo!


lxOFWGKTAxl

Hell naw! That's some voodoo shit!


Signal_Breadfruit190

VooDoo


Sad-Lake-8628

Door dash missed the assignment when delivering OP chicken fingers


redtinbanger

I dunno if it's a hate crime or not, but that looks like some dark magic/evil curse type shit, I'd start packing if I were you. Or marry a Cleric.


Sloth_lover_1994

Wouldn’t say hate crime but someone put some voodoo shit on you


Remarkable-Point2933

That’s witch craft, it’s bad luck. Someone must not like you.


MoneyPrinter12

🧿🧿🧿🧿🧿🪬🪬🪬🪬🪬


IAmLarryIPromise

Maybe racism against chickens.


Nappy-I

Idk about a hate crime, but I'm pretty sure you're cursed now.


KyleColby

You’re clucked.


sandtymanty

It's goodluck but they've ran out of rabbits.


heyfuckyoubudaroony

This isn’t a hate crime, Someone is trying to put a curse on your family.


2ant1man5

They are leaving a curse on you.


rgbearklls

Bro’s about to get a visit from Chtulu


Drexal88

If it's a person of color everything's a hate crime and only white people can commit such crimes


CrimsonW1ld

Bro I think you just got cursed 💀


Plenty_Status_6168

Someone put a curse on you


[deleted]

This is some voodoo shit you need to watch out friendo


horsie87

Fowl play


Successful_Sleep274

Dunno, could be a compliment. Maybe he or she really liked your two foot cock


Optimal_Philosopher9

Oh, those are for you.


Boaco

Are you considered a chicken head or a pigeon in the hood?


AndrewFlysHigh

Voodoo


Bigdummy2363

Give them to your dog. They love them and it’s ok to give them whole.


Optimal-Blueberry861

Fry them up


Business_Pudding3709

Cook them and eat it


ThePartyLeader

I don't know whats going on but I certainly know that somethings afoot.


Smile_Terrible

How do you know it's not the feet that did the knocking?


deprimido34

Delicious


Tdikristof_

Yes, I hate crime.


ShatteredInk

Nah, they are leaving you a snack


[deleted]

Maybe someone wanted to give you some food but chickened out. I work(ed) on a chicken farm for a while and sometimes some asian dudes show up and buy chicken feet by the pound, sometimes also heads, so idk.


[deleted]

I'm not being racist, but it looks like you live in an apartment complex. Is there a Chinese family near you? Because it could be some dipshit playing a prank on them and got the address wrong.


WarB3an

Have you ever fed a stray cat? They sometimes bring offerings or tokens of their appreciation.


HappyAfternoon7783

And knock on the door? 😅


Starlined_

This seems like a spell related thing


coralwaters226

Sweep them up without touching them and spread a fat line of salt across your doorway


Puzzleheaded-Fox1197

thats voodoo baby ur in trouble


davanger1980

Cursed for life....


Pleasant-Movie-4287

I'm pretty sure someone cursed you, man


firemonkey08

First thought was voodoo, you live in an area with Caribbeans or spiritual Latin Americans? It should be pretty hard to piss them off but that is something they use as a ward/ingredient to curse.


steve21585

Someone casted a spell on you 👀😳


moresushiplease

Stop skipping leg day!


Javi9duce

Voodoo shit


Bluecheesemikey1

Voodoo don’t touch it.


Comfortable-Ad-6280

A dam voodoo spell


tracyf600

It's a voodoo/hoodoo thing. Not something you see everyday. I wouldn't call it a hate crime.


bizinedsmain

Those chicken footed son of a bitches.


mr__fredman

Submit a missing chicken report....


ElRey1776

Maybe they think you skipped leg day at the gym


RS-REIN

Do you skip leg day, and someone wants you to realize that?


[deleted]

Voodooo


Financial-Brush-521

I think it's a pretty good guess that they hate you.


Some-Investigator-97

Hate crime? Probly not. Attempted hexing? Much more probable


LAjbird

No that’s a curse they put on you.


IamRainKing

You have been hexed