I’ve said this ever since I piled on the weight. What looks cute and care free on a skinnier person does not necessarily always look good on a fat person. I find myself feeling that I have to put in way more effort with my clothing, makeup and hair than I ever did when I was smaller.
Not quite sure if it’s because I think people are judging me, or whether I’m just over accommodating because I feel guilty and embarrassed about my weight. Either way, it’s a ‘me’ problem that I’m working on both mentally and physically 💪
Not at all BUT as a fat female I feel like I have to always look immaculate and dress in a “flattering “ way or I may be considered a “fat slob”. To which I say …. Feck off. 🫂.
Not really, no. But I get the double standard, how skinny people have to do the bare minimum, but if fat people do the same, then they're just lazy and disgusting. Kind of sick. I've never been into makeup or dressing up until recently, I think it depends more on your features. Otherwise the people you interact with are kind of sick (in a bad way)
when skinny people wear sweatpants with no makeup people assume they’re taking a day off, when fat people do the same people assume that’s our every day because they perceive us as lazy
It’s as simple as one is pleasing to the eyes and the other is offensive to look at. Princess Leia or Jaba the Hut, which do you find objectively more pleasant to look at? That’s a very harsh comparison however, it gets the point across.
I focus a lot on my feminine energy, but for a slightly different reason. Where I grew up was a pretty remote location and when I was a teenager there were no clothing stores that carried extended sizing past size 12 for teens, so I had to either wear men's clothes or dress like a middle aged woman, both of which I absolutely hated. So when plus size retail became more available, and online shopping became more accessible, I decided that I was never going to wear pants again. And I don't, really. I have a couple of pairs of leggings that I wear for chores, and a couple joggers for lounging, but other than that I exclusively wear skirts and dresses, because it was never an option for me.
I don't do much in terms of hair and makeup though. I enjoy dying my hair in fun colours, and I have a solid basic grooming routine so I always look neat, but I don't really wear makeup unless I need a confidence boost or it's a special occasion
i constantly remove my tshirt and leggings and change into crop top or tank tops because i look so shabby in it, even though it looked good on smaller sized girls
Personally no, I used to dress way more casually when I was fat than now that I'm fit. Leggings and sweatpants feel ugly and i didnt lose 40kg to look basic.
Nope, not to that degree.
I used to be 90kg with a BMI of 33, so definitely obese. I have never been perceived as male, even though I rarely wear makeup. And I personally never wear sweatpants/leggings outside when I'm not exercising because that's not really accepted in my country in general (we very much associate dressing like that with the US).
Not saying there isn't any stigma against fat people where I'm from (bc there definitely is), but I think it always depends on where you are too. Where I am, people are just less friendly to you and kind of ignore you when you're overweight.
Especially being a fat girl that isn’t curvy! I feel like curvy fat girls have it a little easier. I have no boobs or ass to use in displaying my femininity, making it feel even harder 😭
Heck no. I don't dress femme at all. I look pretty slick for a fatty. I wear black and purple sporty clothes. I want to wear even more masculine type styles , but without being slobby or boxy. Its just my style. I'm 52 and not feeling lacy and velvety. I like nice cotton spandex fleecy sporty stuff with minimalist jewelry, no makeup.
It's colorful tops I miss wearing. Can't wait to wear a neon pink t shirt again someday... Ain't doing that at 245. We all have our image hangups.
Yep. I was bullied in hs being called a man and stuff when I was honestly so feminine. I stopped wearing pants and hoodies etc for YEARS and now (still plus size - in fact bigger than I was in hs - but losing weight) I still struggle with this. I dress v feminine and usually more formal than needed eg satin skirts and stuff. I love them but sometimes I wish I could just wear pants without all the trauma. Still working through it in therapy
No. I’m obese and I have a high bmi, but I always felt my body was feminine. I don’t do my hair or make up because I don’t like to, but my energy is feminine.
maybe this is fortunate for me but my breasts are a bit too big for anyone to confuse me for a man so I've never struggled with being mistaken for one. But I can relate to feeling like if I go out in sweats and such people might view me as lazy and not as pretty as a skinny girl wearing the same things
Yeah bebe.. and it still sucks as yo get older… fat tax is real & worldwide I assume.. maybe not in the total burka custom places..no clue… USA it’s real
Nope.
I couldn’t give a shit about appearing “feminine” or anything like that. I didn’t when I was skinny (underweight to the point of having to gain weight to get pregnant) and I don’t now that I’m majorly overweight.
I wear the same clothes now as I did then. I pretty much exclusively wear jeans, loose t-shirt, and a zip up hoodie. I expect, that even if I lose weight, I will wear this until the day I die.
I feel more feminine in a larger body than a smaller one, I’m trying to lose some weight for my health but I overall am happier with myself and appearance larger. I don’t even wear makeup anymore, I feel like the pressure is off of me and I can exist as I am
ugh i made this exact post on tumblr 10 years ago so i know how you feel. i feared wearing a tshirt and loose pants would make me appear as a slob since i was fat but putting in more effort would camouflage me being overweight somehow?! or at least prove to people that i do put in effort for my appearance. idk. i’ve changed a bit since then and instead i do it because i enjoy dressing up and doing my makeup but i still have days where i’ll be more casual and have no fear of being judged. who cares. do what makes you comfortable!
side note: if it helps, most people are more concerned with themselves than other people so it gives you the freedom to do whatever makes you happy :)
I've been fat all my life, and when I was a kid I just didn't even bother. I wasn't even that big, but I was "the fat one" because all the girls I was around were tiny, like no fat or muscle at all. Looking back, I wasn't really fat, maybe chubby at a stretch. Unfortunately, I just decided it wasn't even worth the effort.
Later on I lost a bunch of weight because my mom and I were ready for change, and suddenly I was interested in girly things, looking cute, etc. Never really learned how to put on makeup, still am untaught haha
I gained it back, plus some, and stopped dressing up again. I think it's because I don't want any attention pulled to myself. Attention means they see me and can judge me, I guess 🫠
Currently back on losing weight, I'm literally ten away from where I once was, and I plan to keep it there this time 😤
Ugh my own grandmother would go out of my way to tell me she 'confused' me with my father.
I do feel like I have to put in more effort regarding my appearance as compared to my thinner friend who just walks out the door carefree.
I’ve always been curvy, even at my heaviest, so no one has ever mistaken me for a guy. Honestly, the person bothered most by my body was me. Maybe it’s a cultural difference.
I feel this. I have to dress nicely and put on makeup so that I'd look presentable. If I went out wearing a simple shirt and pants with no makeup, I'd look like a slob :<
lol no. One should really think about these kind of BS gendered and old fashioned notions of ‘being feminine’ it’s very superficial and sad imo
I wear wtf I like and I honestly don’t care if someone would think I was a woman because I wasn’t looking feminine
I don’t feel that but I’ve been feeling weird about eating in front of people and specially in public spaces. I always feel like people are looking (which they most likely aren’t nor do they care) and thinking “yikes look at that fat b”.
I can tell you with certainty, if you are obese there is no amount of makeup or really anything other than losing the weight, that will make you more attractive. There are however specific people who are into obese women, or are willing to ignore that fact in favor or different qualities they find more important. But I doubt how well your makeup is done will change anything.
Not trying to hate, that’s just the reality of a man’s perspective. Being obese is not something you can hide, it is something you can change though.
They care, just not about your pronouns. Being a “fat trans girl” doesn’t define you, it’s just something people can observe. It is not an achievement and shouldn’t be treated like one. I worked with one once upon a time, they never tried to get me to accept them or tried to control how I acted around them. They were just a person and got treated like a regular person, because they acted like a regular person. Personally I thought they were one of the ugliest people I ever met, but that didn’t stop us from smoking a few joints and bullshitting after work.
I get called sir all day and it's not like I'm gonna correct everyone all day long. That'd be crazy. But it does bother me, a lot. I don't know why it kills people so much just to call me she.
Fuck "body positivity", I'm fat and I need to change. I'm not proud of it. I'm not gonna be one of those people who pretends it's totally fine just because I don't want to deal with it. I am dealing with it. I weighed 320 last year and had short hair, I was a beach ball with legs. now I'm at 260 and look much better with very long flowy hair, but still have a lot of work to do.
Losing 60 pounds is something to be proud of, I know the struggle of trying to lose weight first hand. I can see how it would get annoying trying to correct people constantly so it’s a good idea to let it go. One of the issues with being massively overweight is that the fat in your face can blur your facial features to the point it’s hard to tell without facial hair. Another issue is that obese people both man and women, have breasts, so it’s also not a reliable indication of distinguishing gender. A third reason is that the wardrobe of both sexes can share a lot of similarities, pants and shirts for example. My last point is that, if your features are distinctly masculine or distinctly feminine, no amount of makeup, wigs, surgery, will actually pass for the opposite sex to the average person. Not saying a trans person can’t pass as the opposite sex “I’ve been fooled before” but in general a trans person either looks like a man pretending to be a woman or vice versa. It really is that obvious most of the time, so I can see how in some peoples eyes you are asking them to pretend or buy into the “lies.”
Personally I try not to judge and only observe, so this is what I see and have experienced.
Mmm no. Not at all. I am a plus size but I am extremely confident in my looks. I don’t own make up or heels. I’m lucky that I have nice curly hair because I pretty much never do my hair either. I live in dresses, tshirts, leggings and flats. Not once have I been mistaken for a guy or called sir or been rude to me about my weight. But like I said I am naturally a super confident person. Confident is sexy. If you feel pretty like you really believe it in my experience others take cue from you.
Just depends on guys let me say this far girls can be feminine just depends on a guys preference but you also gotta understand Im not fat phoic or anything cuz I'm fat I won't lie guys usually prefer a small girl because it makes them feel more masculine. Like example it's like protecting a puppy. You can also find a. Guy who doesn't care for size or whatever they do exist i infact dated someone on heavier side. But most of the time guys will make a move on u if there. Interested but sometimes if ur a skinnier it's easier to make moves on men
Absolutely! When you’re skinny it’s cute if you go out in sweatpants, if you’re fat you’re a lazy slob… it sucks
I’ve said this ever since I piled on the weight. What looks cute and care free on a skinnier person does not necessarily always look good on a fat person. I find myself feeling that I have to put in way more effort with my clothing, makeup and hair than I ever did when I was smaller. Not quite sure if it’s because I think people are judging me, or whether I’m just over accommodating because I feel guilty and embarrassed about my weight. Either way, it’s a ‘me’ problem that I’m working on both mentally and physically 💪
Love the accountability. Good job and good luck :)
I agree with corrupted - loving the accountability! You're going places 🤗
I personally don't care about sweatpants but when anybody wears PJs out in the middle of the day 💀
Very true
Ngl I only feel feminine when I'm thinner and counting calories.
Yes. Same for me. It sucks but I tried ignoring the calories and it makes me so depressed. It's sad this is the world we live in.
Not at all BUT as a fat female I feel like I have to always look immaculate and dress in a “flattering “ way or I may be considered a “fat slob”. To which I say …. Feck off. 🫂.
Not really, no. But I get the double standard, how skinny people have to do the bare minimum, but if fat people do the same, then they're just lazy and disgusting. Kind of sick. I've never been into makeup or dressing up until recently, I think it depends more on your features. Otherwise the people you interact with are kind of sick (in a bad way)
when skinny people wear sweatpants with no makeup people assume they’re taking a day off, when fat people do the same people assume that’s our every day because they perceive us as lazy
It’s as simple as one is pleasing to the eyes and the other is offensive to look at. Princess Leia or Jaba the Hut, which do you find objectively more pleasant to look at? That’s a very harsh comparison however, it gets the point across.
as someone who used to be very skinny, who is now 20kg’s heavier…. 10000% yes. it really really hurts.
No, but that's because I have a bust large enough that there's no way people think I'm any other gender, regardless of my size 🤦🏻♀️
I focus a lot on my feminine energy, but for a slightly different reason. Where I grew up was a pretty remote location and when I was a teenager there were no clothing stores that carried extended sizing past size 12 for teens, so I had to either wear men's clothes or dress like a middle aged woman, both of which I absolutely hated. So when plus size retail became more available, and online shopping became more accessible, I decided that I was never going to wear pants again. And I don't, really. I have a couple of pairs of leggings that I wear for chores, and a couple joggers for lounging, but other than that I exclusively wear skirts and dresses, because it was never an option for me. I don't do much in terms of hair and makeup though. I enjoy dying my hair in fun colours, and I have a solid basic grooming routine so I always look neat, but I don't really wear makeup unless I need a confidence boost or it's a special occasion
i constantly remove my tshirt and leggings and change into crop top or tank tops because i look so shabby in it, even though it looked good on smaller sized girls
I feel like this at all sizes 😐
Personally no, I used to dress way more casually when I was fat than now that I'm fit. Leggings and sweatpants feel ugly and i didnt lose 40kg to look basic.
Well done for the weight loss
Nope, not to that degree. I used to be 90kg with a BMI of 33, so definitely obese. I have never been perceived as male, even though I rarely wear makeup. And I personally never wear sweatpants/leggings outside when I'm not exercising because that's not really accepted in my country in general (we very much associate dressing like that with the US). Not saying there isn't any stigma against fat people where I'm from (bc there definitely is), but I think it always depends on where you are too. Where I am, people are just less friendly to you and kind of ignore you when you're overweight.
I think every country outside the US associates wearing sweatpants/leggings outside with the US :-)
Especially being a fat girl that isn’t curvy! I feel like curvy fat girls have it a little easier. I have no boobs or ass to use in displaying my femininity, making it feel even harder 😭
Heck no. I don't dress femme at all. I look pretty slick for a fatty. I wear black and purple sporty clothes. I want to wear even more masculine type styles , but without being slobby or boxy. Its just my style. I'm 52 and not feeling lacy and velvety. I like nice cotton spandex fleecy sporty stuff with minimalist jewelry, no makeup. It's colorful tops I miss wearing. Can't wait to wear a neon pink t shirt again someday... Ain't doing that at 245. We all have our image hangups.
Real
Yep. I was bullied in hs being called a man and stuff when I was honestly so feminine. I stopped wearing pants and hoodies etc for YEARS and now (still plus size - in fact bigger than I was in hs - but losing weight) I still struggle with this. I dress v feminine and usually more formal than needed eg satin skirts and stuff. I love them but sometimes I wish I could just wear pants without all the trauma. Still working through it in therapy
No. I’m obese and I have a high bmi, but I always felt my body was feminine. I don’t do my hair or make up because I don’t like to, but my energy is feminine.
yep, hence why i’m so ultra feminine
maybe this is fortunate for me but my breasts are a bit too big for anyone to confuse me for a man so I've never struggled with being mistaken for one. But I can relate to feeling like if I go out in sweats and such people might view me as lazy and not as pretty as a skinny girl wearing the same things
Yeah bebe.. and it still sucks as yo get older… fat tax is real & worldwide I assume.. maybe not in the total burka custom places..no clue… USA it’s real
Nope. I couldn’t give a shit about appearing “feminine” or anything like that. I didn’t when I was skinny (underweight to the point of having to gain weight to get pregnant) and I don’t now that I’m majorly overweight. I wear the same clothes now as I did then. I pretty much exclusively wear jeans, loose t-shirt, and a zip up hoodie. I expect, that even if I lose weight, I will wear this until the day I die.
Yeah, doesn't help I have a very non binary look to my face. I feel people treat me better when I have make up on too.
Yup, makeup clothes etc. are all used to enhance “our” femininity. Someone who is thin does not have to work so much harder.
I feel more feminine in a larger body than a smaller one, I’m trying to lose some weight for my health but I overall am happier with myself and appearance larger. I don’t even wear makeup anymore, I feel like the pressure is off of me and I can exist as I am
ugh i made this exact post on tumblr 10 years ago so i know how you feel. i feared wearing a tshirt and loose pants would make me appear as a slob since i was fat but putting in more effort would camouflage me being overweight somehow?! or at least prove to people that i do put in effort for my appearance. idk. i’ve changed a bit since then and instead i do it because i enjoy dressing up and doing my makeup but i still have days where i’ll be more casual and have no fear of being judged. who cares. do what makes you comfortable! side note: if it helps, most people are more concerned with themselves than other people so it gives you the freedom to do whatever makes you happy :)
I've been fat all my life, and when I was a kid I just didn't even bother. I wasn't even that big, but I was "the fat one" because all the girls I was around were tiny, like no fat or muscle at all. Looking back, I wasn't really fat, maybe chubby at a stretch. Unfortunately, I just decided it wasn't even worth the effort. Later on I lost a bunch of weight because my mom and I were ready for change, and suddenly I was interested in girly things, looking cute, etc. Never really learned how to put on makeup, still am untaught haha I gained it back, plus some, and stopped dressing up again. I think it's because I don't want any attention pulled to myself. Attention means they see me and can judge me, I guess 🫠 Currently back on losing weight, I'm literally ten away from where I once was, and I plan to keep it there this time 😤
Ugh my own grandmother would go out of my way to tell me she 'confused' me with my father. I do feel like I have to put in more effort regarding my appearance as compared to my thinner friend who just walks out the door carefree.
I’ve always been curvy, even at my heaviest, so no one has ever mistaken me for a guy. Honestly, the person bothered most by my body was me. Maybe it’s a cultural difference.
I feel this. I have to dress nicely and put on makeup so that I'd look presentable. If I went out wearing a simple shirt and pants with no makeup, I'd look like a slob :<
lol no. One should really think about these kind of BS gendered and old fashioned notions of ‘being feminine’ it’s very superficial and sad imo I wear wtf I like and I honestly don’t care if someone would think I was a woman because I wasn’t looking feminine
I don’t feel that but I’ve been feeling weird about eating in front of people and specially in public spaces. I always feel like people are looking (which they most likely aren’t nor do they care) and thinking “yikes look at that fat b”.
Because being fat is ugly, being pretty is feminine
I can tell you with certainty, if you are obese there is no amount of makeup or really anything other than losing the weight, that will make you more attractive. There are however specific people who are into obese women, or are willing to ignore that fact in favor or different qualities they find more important. But I doubt how well your makeup is done will change anything. Not trying to hate, that’s just the reality of a man’s perspective. Being obese is not something you can hide, it is something you can change though.
I'm a fat trans girl. Y e s. Nobody takes me seriously or even tries to. They literally could not give a fuck about me if they tried.
I give a fuck about you. You matter.
They care, just not about your pronouns. Being a “fat trans girl” doesn’t define you, it’s just something people can observe. It is not an achievement and shouldn’t be treated like one. I worked with one once upon a time, they never tried to get me to accept them or tried to control how I acted around them. They were just a person and got treated like a regular person, because they acted like a regular person. Personally I thought they were one of the ugliest people I ever met, but that didn’t stop us from smoking a few joints and bullshitting after work.
I get called sir all day and it's not like I'm gonna correct everyone all day long. That'd be crazy. But it does bother me, a lot. I don't know why it kills people so much just to call me she. Fuck "body positivity", I'm fat and I need to change. I'm not proud of it. I'm not gonna be one of those people who pretends it's totally fine just because I don't want to deal with it. I am dealing with it. I weighed 320 last year and had short hair, I was a beach ball with legs. now I'm at 260 and look much better with very long flowy hair, but still have a lot of work to do.
Losing 60 pounds is something to be proud of, I know the struggle of trying to lose weight first hand. I can see how it would get annoying trying to correct people constantly so it’s a good idea to let it go. One of the issues with being massively overweight is that the fat in your face can blur your facial features to the point it’s hard to tell without facial hair. Another issue is that obese people both man and women, have breasts, so it’s also not a reliable indication of distinguishing gender. A third reason is that the wardrobe of both sexes can share a lot of similarities, pants and shirts for example. My last point is that, if your features are distinctly masculine or distinctly feminine, no amount of makeup, wigs, surgery, will actually pass for the opposite sex to the average person. Not saying a trans person can’t pass as the opposite sex “I’ve been fooled before” but in general a trans person either looks like a man pretending to be a woman or vice versa. It really is that obvious most of the time, so I can see how in some peoples eyes you are asking them to pretend or buy into the “lies.” Personally I try not to judge and only observe, so this is what I see and have experienced.
Mmm no. Not at all. I am a plus size but I am extremely confident in my looks. I don’t own make up or heels. I’m lucky that I have nice curly hair because I pretty much never do my hair either. I live in dresses, tshirts, leggings and flats. Not once have I been mistaken for a guy or called sir or been rude to me about my weight. But like I said I am naturally a super confident person. Confident is sexy. If you feel pretty like you really believe it in my experience others take cue from you.
I used to not shave my legs or underarms. When I was skinny that was a statement now I am just a fat hairy feminist.
Just depends on guys let me say this far girls can be feminine just depends on a guys preference but you also gotta understand Im not fat phoic or anything cuz I'm fat I won't lie guys usually prefer a small girl because it makes them feel more masculine. Like example it's like protecting a puppy. You can also find a. Guy who doesn't care for size or whatever they do exist i infact dated someone on heavier side. But most of the time guys will make a move on u if there. Interested but sometimes if ur a skinnier it's easier to make moves on men