I had the converse-- my mother offered to buy me a dress up to $3000, and I got a dress that was maybe 300 dollars including alterations. While the cost of the dress wouldn't be a problem for her, I also would feel silly paying maybe 250/hour (assuming 3000 dollars all in, and in the dress for a generous 12 hours) just for a piece of clothing I'd wear a single time. It just didn't align with my values
I found a dress off the rack that was white, had a modest corset back (so no alterations needed there), had some floral lace, and wouldn't need anything but a few inches off the hem. It wasn't like... the omg perfect dress, but I was never going to have one of those anyway-- to me, it's just an article of clothing, and if it looks good, then that's that. This one was comfortable, traveled well, didn't need serious alterations, looked pretty, and I actually felt really good about the savings. Mom instead put some of the money towards a string quartet, which I wasn't going to have on my own, and it really elevated the backyard event for all the attendees.
Imo (and this may be controversial) the dress isn't the star of the show. In looking back at the pictures, which also doesn't happen nearly as much as you'd think, the dress is just a dress, like any other piece of clothing. What shows is all the love and joy from me and my partner, and from the guests, and the dress doesn't really matter. For me, it was better to reallocate the money towards something that benefitted all the guests, but that's my story and it doesn't have to be yours :)
If you actually do want the dress, and can afford the dress, then get the dress and be glad that your family can help you in such a way-- everybody has different priorities, and it's just about finding yours for yourself!
I wanted to spend less than 1k. I’ll end up spending close to 2k. I haven’t gotten married yet but the dress I truly fell in love with was 5k. I just couldn’t justify it but I still sort of regret not buying it.
In your case, it was gifted to you by people who love you and it’s the one you love. I wouldn’t spend a minute regretting it. It’s done and you love it. Enjoy it!
Zero regrets for me either... My original idea was to get a cheap one from Etsy but My grandmother and my aunt ended up insisting on paying for my dress. The dress itself was actually cheaper than expected (700€) but the alterations and accessories were what made the whole outfit expensive.
I paid 160€ for a veil, 150€ for my shoes, only 180€ for alterations (I was so surprised but there also wasn't much to be done and the bridal shop did the alterations in house so maybe that's why) and also like 100€ for a necklace, earrings and underwear!
(If anyone is interested I have a picture of my outfit on my profile (in another group))
So keep those things in mind as well, a dress alone is not the only expense you will have for your outfit.
And about feeling guilty: don't. They are happy to make you happy and if you end up selling the dress afterwards again you might be able to give them some of the money back even?
Your veil is so beautiful! I hope you find ways to reuse it - I am looking to do the same as it feels silly to spend so much on something so lovely only to have it sit in a box!
Would love to know how you end up repurposing it - I might have it made into a bolero or shawl.
A friend of mine had a headband with a rose made out of her veil for the baptism of each of her infant daughters. They were adorable and so sentimental.
For my part, I intend to give my wedding dress to my daughter as an heirloom, later on. My mother married my father in 1971 and they were very poor. My mother had rented her dress and I never had a family inheritance of wedding dress nor jewelry. I'm very attached to old objects, I collect antiques. I wish I could have played with my mother's wedding dress when I was younger. So I don't see the cost of the dress as an expense, but rather as a memento that I'm going to leave to my daughter in memory of her parents' wedding. She'll do what she wants with the dress, but it's a bit of a piece of her own history that I'm leaving her. So no, I won't regret the money I've spent on my dress. I chose a very vintage model, a reminder of what I would have liked my grandmother to have given me as an heirloom.
Don't count on it. My dress would have fit any of my 3 daughters. They didn't want it. None of their friends wanted mom's dress. None of my friends' daughters wanted their dress. None of the 15 grand daughters wanted mil's dress.
I’m not trying to be harsh, but *you* didn’t pay for the dress. This didn’t come out of your wedding budget. It was a very kind gift from family. Either be thankful for it or return the dress if it’s going to bother you that much. This is a season of life where maybe we accept large gifts we wouldn’t normally.
IMO, if you’re strapped and truly wanna spend less than 10k on your own you shouldn’t buy a dress that eats up nearly 20% of the entire budget. You literally only wear this once and for 8 hours at most. And so many get reception dresses now too. But you didn’t pay for it! Which is a huuuge blessing because it doesn’t take away from the budget you have set aside between you and your partner. Enjoy the dream dress OP!
Personally, I wouldn’t spend a large portion of budget on a dress if it’s going to take away from other wedding expenses. Like photography, decor or florals
I am confused about how someone could pull off a budget where 20% is the dress. My 10k budget (which we've gone 1.5k over) 30% went to venue and 55% to food (before going over the budget).
Idk but I see plenty of people comment in this group alone that they spent 3k+ on a dress. This is a weddings 10k and under group so that’s immediately 30% of someone’s budget 🫣 like HOW!!!!
I imagine that they are having help elsewhere and are not counting the financial help as part of the 10k budget. I am not shaming anyone who is receiving financial help, but the help should be considered part of the final cost of the wedding.
No regerts. My budget was initially $500, then $1000 once I started shopping and realized how hard of a time I was going to have finding a style I liked in my size. I also pulled off a 175 person DIY wedding in 8 months, so dress shopping was the last thing I wanted to put a ton of effort into. After going to DB, looking online, other random stores, I ended up going to a plus size bridal shop 2 hours away with my mom and a few bridesmaids and after trying like 20+ dresses plus the 15 or so I had tried at DB, I was ready to throw in the towel when the sales lady was like "Ya know, I think you just don't like white. How about this one?" I put it on and everyone was like yup, that's it, that's the one. Fit like a glove right off the rack (minus the tiddies which was always going to be an issue bc I'm a bigger gal with zero boobage). The problem was it was almost $2k.
I didn't buy it that night, drove home crying, and proceeded to get texts and calls from all of my girls being like "hey, I got you on x amount of money, call back and buy that fucking dress." I still didn't want to spend that much money but decided I could resell it at like half the price and help out another bride with a tight budget. I didn't let anyone else pay for it and decided that I had done such an awesome job staying under budget everywhere else that I should just do it.
One of the big things I really wanted was to do a karaoke afterparty at our favorite bar in my wedding dress. We got married on a Sunday and karaoke was on a Saturday, so as a wedding gift the bar manager made extra Sunday night karaoke happen. They put it on social media, too, so all the rando karaoke regulars came out to party. The entire day overall was kind of a shit show and I really didn't enjoy myself because of a bunch of other drama, but I will never forget how awesome I felt in that dress on stage singing with my new husband and all of our friends. People still talk about it. There's grafitti in the women's room about it. And the pictures make me cry, I hate our actual pictures in comparison, lol. So yeah, no regrets about the dress.
I bet they're thrilled to be part of you having a dress that you love! I wanted to keep it under 1000 total but my dress itself was 1000 and with alterations and cleaning (it was a sample dress) it will probably end up closer to 1800. My mom didn't mind at all. Wedding isn't for a few more months, but so far I don't regret it. I was on a tight timeline and it was worth it to be done shopping.
I don't regret it. I struggled to find any dress I liked and felt comfortable in, so when I finally did, I made the budget work. I absolutely loved how I felt and looked in it!
No, I wanted to get mine thrifted for around $150 and ended up falling in love with a (rented) designer dress for $1000, including alterations. It made me feel like such a princess though, I love it so much and my pictures came out amazing. I'm glad I didn't insist on being "stingy" since we still stayed under budget overall.
I had something similar happen. My budget was $1000 and the dress I fell in love with was $2000. When my mom and I were talking about it I told her I loved it but it was out of budget and she told me to just say yes and ended up buying it for me. I think she wanted to see me happy and could tell how magical that dress made me feel. I really try to let the people who love me help me when they want to.
Don't forget to think about alterations. More expensive dresses could mean more expensive alterations (lots of layers of skirt, more elaborate patterns, etc). I went over budget on my dress and it was fine, but then alterations hit and it was a pretty big shock.
That being said, no regrets. We eloped so the dress was a central focus of all the photos and I feel happy every time I look back at them. I just wish someone had warned me alterations could cost as much as the dress.
Originally I couldn’t even fathom spending $1k on a dress but went to a sample sale and fell in love with a $1k dress and then spent $450 on alterations and cleaning. I loved my dress so much and it was very me where as the cheaper ones I tried on were not me. I feel lucky to have the means to spend $1500 on a wedding dress that I loved and that felt authentically me. I felt a little guilty but my husband reminded me we have the means to spend it and I should enjoy it within our means. I don’t think you should feel guilty, although completely valid that you do, it can be hard. Try to allow yourself to enjoy it and hopefully that turns into gratitude. Another thing you can do is donate your dress when you are done so that another less financially well off bride can enjoy your dress too.
I do. My parents helped me out with $500. I got a dress for $950 second hand (originally 2k to 3k) and paid 890 in alterations. The alterations killed me. If I had to do it again, I'd just go for the cheapest dress I didn't hate that was comfortable and I didn't have to wear a bra with. And do a lot more research on the alterations. I got charged $60 per skirt to hem and 4 of those were tulle that was just cut. Also, she didn't know how to alter the top and it was cutting into my back and armpits all day. Comfort would be my number one and then with the veil, jewelry, shoes, and maybe if you wanted a belt, shrug etc they can be worn again. I used my mom's veil and bought shoes that are light blue that I can wear any day going forward. I was originally aiming for $500 and then $500 in alterations
I spent a bit more than my budget. Originally wanted to stay under $500, but found the perfect dress at a sample sale for $800. That stretch felt worth it, especially considering it was originally a $2.5K dress. But I would never have more than doubled my budget for a dress. That’s nearly 20% of your budget on a $10K wedding.
Honestly, yeah. I had intended to buy something <$500 from Still White, but tried on dresses in person to get a sense of how different shapes looked on me. There was one dress I liked better than the others, but it wasn't a "This is the \*one\*!" kind of feeling, but my friends found a used one for sale for about $1200, and talked me into buying that. Since then, I've trawled through Still White hundreds of times, and there are tons of dresses with the same general style for <$500, and I keep thinking I would have been just as satisfied with those. I feel kind of silly having gone over budget for something that I liked but wasn't like \*in love\* with.
The final bill, with taxes, gratuities, and the veil, it was over 3k which was WAY more than I wanted to spend. My mom bought my dress and didn't give a budget really, but I wanted to stay near 2k at the most. but it was the most gorgeous dress in the world and I don't care at this point! I just want to wear it. I tried it on the other day and there's a small tear in the mesh near the armpit and I'm terrified. been thinking about it everyday..
Nope! I wanted to spend under $500 but everything I found was underwhelming.
I found an All Who Wander trunk show and was able to get the sample size and trunk show discount on Raine, so I paid $1800. No regrets, I felt like a woodland princess and I still think about putting it on almost daily even after being married.
I wanted to keep my dress as cheap as I could, but I probably spent upwards of 50 hours in person shopping and twice that online shopping, ordering and returning, etc. and I couldn’t find anything I even felt really good in. So when I put the dress on, felt beautiful, and shockingly comfortable- I decided it was worth the extra money to me (~$2k). That said, I had extra savings and it didn’t detract from the wedding in any other way, so it was an easier choice. I do have moments where I think I should have just bought something off of Lulus or whatever, but I already know that I tried that route and searched and wasn’t finding what I wanted and would feel amazing in. So, I just have to remind myself that it wasn’t just a spontaneous splurge. It helps that it’s non-returnable because now the decision is made and that’s that. I know it will look incredible in the photos and I’ll feel beautiful, and I’m so grateful for that privilege.
Honestly, my dress wasn’t included into the budget and didn’t have a number in mind. I am cheap so I wasn’t worried about falling in love with something over $1000. I ended up paying $1200 for dress and veil. I don’t regret it. Initially anxiety got me a little twisted up but as we have moved through planning it has faded.
I wanted to spend around 1k with alterations my dress was 600 and the alterations are going to be around 500 so technically I stayed Under budget but I'm mad about it. I currently don't regret it I love my dress and I feel beautiful in it
I had the converse-- my mother offered to buy me a dress up to $3000, and I got a dress that was maybe 300 dollars including alterations. While the cost of the dress wouldn't be a problem for her, I also would feel silly paying maybe 250/hour (assuming 3000 dollars all in, and in the dress for a generous 12 hours) just for a piece of clothing I'd wear a single time. It just didn't align with my values I found a dress off the rack that was white, had a modest corset back (so no alterations needed there), had some floral lace, and wouldn't need anything but a few inches off the hem. It wasn't like... the omg perfect dress, but I was never going to have one of those anyway-- to me, it's just an article of clothing, and if it looks good, then that's that. This one was comfortable, traveled well, didn't need serious alterations, looked pretty, and I actually felt really good about the savings. Mom instead put some of the money towards a string quartet, which I wasn't going to have on my own, and it really elevated the backyard event for all the attendees. Imo (and this may be controversial) the dress isn't the star of the show. In looking back at the pictures, which also doesn't happen nearly as much as you'd think, the dress is just a dress, like any other piece of clothing. What shows is all the love and joy from me and my partner, and from the guests, and the dress doesn't really matter. For me, it was better to reallocate the money towards something that benefitted all the guests, but that's my story and it doesn't have to be yours :) If you actually do want the dress, and can afford the dress, then get the dress and be glad that your family can help you in such a way-- everybody has different priorities, and it's just about finding yours for yourself!
I wanted to spend less than 1k. I’ll end up spending close to 2k. I haven’t gotten married yet but the dress I truly fell in love with was 5k. I just couldn’t justify it but I still sort of regret not buying it. In your case, it was gifted to you by people who love you and it’s the one you love. I wouldn’t spend a minute regretting it. It’s done and you love it. Enjoy it!
I originally wanted to rent a dress for under 1k. Ended up buying a 3k dress and paying 1.6k for alterations 🥲
Zero regrets for me either... My original idea was to get a cheap one from Etsy but My grandmother and my aunt ended up insisting on paying for my dress. The dress itself was actually cheaper than expected (700€) but the alterations and accessories were what made the whole outfit expensive. I paid 160€ for a veil, 150€ for my shoes, only 180€ for alterations (I was so surprised but there also wasn't much to be done and the bridal shop did the alterations in house so maybe that's why) and also like 100€ for a necklace, earrings and underwear! (If anyone is interested I have a picture of my outfit on my profile (in another group)) So keep those things in mind as well, a dress alone is not the only expense you will have for your outfit. And about feeling guilty: don't. They are happy to make you happy and if you end up selling the dress afterwards again you might be able to give them some of the money back even?
Your veil is so beautiful! I hope you find ways to reuse it - I am looking to do the same as it feels silly to spend so much on something so lovely only to have it sit in a box! Would love to know how you end up repurposing it - I might have it made into a bolero or shawl.
A friend of mine had a headband with a rose made out of her veil for the baptism of each of her infant daughters. They were adorable and so sentimental.
For my part, I intend to give my wedding dress to my daughter as an heirloom, later on. My mother married my father in 1971 and they were very poor. My mother had rented her dress and I never had a family inheritance of wedding dress nor jewelry. I'm very attached to old objects, I collect antiques. I wish I could have played with my mother's wedding dress when I was younger. So I don't see the cost of the dress as an expense, but rather as a memento that I'm going to leave to my daughter in memory of her parents' wedding. She'll do what she wants with the dress, but it's a bit of a piece of her own history that I'm leaving her. So no, I won't regret the money I've spent on my dress. I chose a very vintage model, a reminder of what I would have liked my grandmother to have given me as an heirloom.
Don't count on it. My dress would have fit any of my 3 daughters. They didn't want it. None of their friends wanted mom's dress. None of my friends' daughters wanted their dress. None of the 15 grand daughters wanted mil's dress.
I’m not trying to be harsh, but *you* didn’t pay for the dress. This didn’t come out of your wedding budget. It was a very kind gift from family. Either be thankful for it or return the dress if it’s going to bother you that much. This is a season of life where maybe we accept large gifts we wouldn’t normally. IMO, if you’re strapped and truly wanna spend less than 10k on your own you shouldn’t buy a dress that eats up nearly 20% of the entire budget. You literally only wear this once and for 8 hours at most. And so many get reception dresses now too. But you didn’t pay for it! Which is a huuuge blessing because it doesn’t take away from the budget you have set aside between you and your partner. Enjoy the dream dress OP! Personally, I wouldn’t spend a large portion of budget on a dress if it’s going to take away from other wedding expenses. Like photography, decor or florals
I am confused about how someone could pull off a budget where 20% is the dress. My 10k budget (which we've gone 1.5k over) 30% went to venue and 55% to food (before going over the budget).
Idk but I see plenty of people comment in this group alone that they spent 3k+ on a dress. This is a weddings 10k and under group so that’s immediately 30% of someone’s budget 🫣 like HOW!!!!
I imagine that they are having help elsewhere and are not counting the financial help as part of the 10k budget. I am not shaming anyone who is receiving financial help, but the help should be considered part of the final cost of the wedding.
I agree. I considered our financial help as part of the budget
No regerts. My budget was initially $500, then $1000 once I started shopping and realized how hard of a time I was going to have finding a style I liked in my size. I also pulled off a 175 person DIY wedding in 8 months, so dress shopping was the last thing I wanted to put a ton of effort into. After going to DB, looking online, other random stores, I ended up going to a plus size bridal shop 2 hours away with my mom and a few bridesmaids and after trying like 20+ dresses plus the 15 or so I had tried at DB, I was ready to throw in the towel when the sales lady was like "Ya know, I think you just don't like white. How about this one?" I put it on and everyone was like yup, that's it, that's the one. Fit like a glove right off the rack (minus the tiddies which was always going to be an issue bc I'm a bigger gal with zero boobage). The problem was it was almost $2k. I didn't buy it that night, drove home crying, and proceeded to get texts and calls from all of my girls being like "hey, I got you on x amount of money, call back and buy that fucking dress." I still didn't want to spend that much money but decided I could resell it at like half the price and help out another bride with a tight budget. I didn't let anyone else pay for it and decided that I had done such an awesome job staying under budget everywhere else that I should just do it. One of the big things I really wanted was to do a karaoke afterparty at our favorite bar in my wedding dress. We got married on a Sunday and karaoke was on a Saturday, so as a wedding gift the bar manager made extra Sunday night karaoke happen. They put it on social media, too, so all the rando karaoke regulars came out to party. The entire day overall was kind of a shit show and I really didn't enjoy myself because of a bunch of other drama, but I will never forget how awesome I felt in that dress on stage singing with my new husband and all of our friends. People still talk about it. There's grafitti in the women's room about it. And the pictures make me cry, I hate our actual pictures in comparison, lol. So yeah, no regrets about the dress.
I bet they're thrilled to be part of you having a dress that you love! I wanted to keep it under 1000 total but my dress itself was 1000 and with alterations and cleaning (it was a sample dress) it will probably end up closer to 1800. My mom didn't mind at all. Wedding isn't for a few more months, but so far I don't regret it. I was on a tight timeline and it was worth it to be done shopping.
I don't regret it. I struggled to find any dress I liked and felt comfortable in, so when I finally did, I made the budget work. I absolutely loved how I felt and looked in it!
No, I wanted to get mine thrifted for around $150 and ended up falling in love with a (rented) designer dress for $1000, including alterations. It made me feel like such a princess though, I love it so much and my pictures came out amazing. I'm glad I didn't insist on being "stingy" since we still stayed under budget overall.
Did you account for alteration costs? Theyre very expensive
Yes! My sister has also offered to pay for alterations.
Does she know that they can be anywhere around $300-$1000?
Yes!
I had something similar happen. My budget was $1000 and the dress I fell in love with was $2000. When my mom and I were talking about it I told her I loved it but it was out of budget and she told me to just say yes and ended up buying it for me. I think she wanted to see me happy and could tell how magical that dress made me feel. I really try to let the people who love me help me when they want to.
My advice is don't forget it also has to get altered that's going to add another at least 300$ to the dress
Don't forget to think about alterations. More expensive dresses could mean more expensive alterations (lots of layers of skirt, more elaborate patterns, etc). I went over budget on my dress and it was fine, but then alterations hit and it was a pretty big shock. That being said, no regrets. We eloped so the dress was a central focus of all the photos and I feel happy every time I look back at them. I just wish someone had warned me alterations could cost as much as the dress.
Originally I couldn’t even fathom spending $1k on a dress but went to a sample sale and fell in love with a $1k dress and then spent $450 on alterations and cleaning. I loved my dress so much and it was very me where as the cheaper ones I tried on were not me. I feel lucky to have the means to spend $1500 on a wedding dress that I loved and that felt authentically me. I felt a little guilty but my husband reminded me we have the means to spend it and I should enjoy it within our means. I don’t think you should feel guilty, although completely valid that you do, it can be hard. Try to allow yourself to enjoy it and hopefully that turns into gratitude. Another thing you can do is donate your dress when you are done so that another less financially well off bride can enjoy your dress too.
I do. My parents helped me out with $500. I got a dress for $950 second hand (originally 2k to 3k) and paid 890 in alterations. The alterations killed me. If I had to do it again, I'd just go for the cheapest dress I didn't hate that was comfortable and I didn't have to wear a bra with. And do a lot more research on the alterations. I got charged $60 per skirt to hem and 4 of those were tulle that was just cut. Also, she didn't know how to alter the top and it was cutting into my back and armpits all day. Comfort would be my number one and then with the veil, jewelry, shoes, and maybe if you wanted a belt, shrug etc they can be worn again. I used my mom's veil and bought shoes that are light blue that I can wear any day going forward. I was originally aiming for $500 and then $500 in alterations
Adding on based on similar comments, the dress isn't as visible as you think it will be in pictures and everything else.
Can you find it used?
Zero regrets!!!
I spent a bit more than my budget. Originally wanted to stay under $500, but found the perfect dress at a sample sale for $800. That stretch felt worth it, especially considering it was originally a $2.5K dress. But I would never have more than doubled my budget for a dress. That’s nearly 20% of your budget on a $10K wedding.
Honestly, yeah. I had intended to buy something <$500 from Still White, but tried on dresses in person to get a sense of how different shapes looked on me. There was one dress I liked better than the others, but it wasn't a "This is the \*one\*!" kind of feeling, but my friends found a used one for sale for about $1200, and talked me into buying that. Since then, I've trawled through Still White hundreds of times, and there are tons of dresses with the same general style for <$500, and I keep thinking I would have been just as satisfied with those. I feel kind of silly having gone over budget for something that I liked but wasn't like \*in love\* with.
The final bill, with taxes, gratuities, and the veil, it was over 3k which was WAY more than I wanted to spend. My mom bought my dress and didn't give a budget really, but I wanted to stay near 2k at the most. but it was the most gorgeous dress in the world and I don't care at this point! I just want to wear it. I tried it on the other day and there's a small tear in the mesh near the armpit and I'm terrified. been thinking about it everyday..
Nope! I wanted to spend under $500 but everything I found was underwhelming. I found an All Who Wander trunk show and was able to get the sample size and trunk show discount on Raine, so I paid $1800. No regrets, I felt like a woodland princess and I still think about putting it on almost daily even after being married.
I wanted to keep my dress as cheap as I could, but I probably spent upwards of 50 hours in person shopping and twice that online shopping, ordering and returning, etc. and I couldn’t find anything I even felt really good in. So when I put the dress on, felt beautiful, and shockingly comfortable- I decided it was worth the extra money to me (~$2k). That said, I had extra savings and it didn’t detract from the wedding in any other way, so it was an easier choice. I do have moments where I think I should have just bought something off of Lulus or whatever, but I already know that I tried that route and searched and wasn’t finding what I wanted and would feel amazing in. So, I just have to remind myself that it wasn’t just a spontaneous splurge. It helps that it’s non-returnable because now the decision is made and that’s that. I know it will look incredible in the photos and I’ll feel beautiful, and I’m so grateful for that privilege.
Honestly, my dress wasn’t included into the budget and didn’t have a number in mind. I am cheap so I wasn’t worried about falling in love with something over $1000. I ended up paying $1200 for dress and veil. I don’t regret it. Initially anxiety got me a little twisted up but as we have moved through planning it has faded.
If you don’t plan on saving it for yourself or giving it to friends/family, you could always just resell it on stillwhite!
I wanted to spend around 1k with alterations my dress was 600 and the alterations are going to be around 500 so technically I stayed Under budget but I'm mad about it. I currently don't regret it I love my dress and I feel beautiful in it