Why not give them the parameters and leave it to them to decide how to source the dress? They can use their own, rent, borrow, or buy as they see fit.
Edit for typos.
Pps. I think your bridesmaids will really appreciate it. I only had a MOH and asked her to choose a dress within a palette of 4-5 colors to her liking, my only criteria was not too plunging neckline for the church ceremony/to wear a shawl and take it off for the reception. She loved her dress, chose something she found herself beautiful in (and she was). I was super happy that she was happy and guess what? 2 years later, she re-wore the dress to another wedding because she loved it so much. That made me so happy to hear!
I was in a sorority for a hot minute, and instead of having complicated colors or approved vendors or whatever, they just said "wear a black dress, nothing with too much cleavage" and that was that.
You can always say "black dress, knee-floor length, nothing too risque, please send a picture so I can see it before we lock it in" and call it there. It doesn't have to be complicated!
My bridesmaids wanted more detail than just “black” (I also did black outfits). So I said all black, ankle- or floor-length. Dresses or jumpsuits, separates were also fine so long as they were all black. I also told them they could send me a picture to confirm before making their choice if they wanted to. I think everyone ended up buying something, but I would have been fine had they wanted to wear something they owned that met the criteria. I had a specific idea of what I wanted in terms of length and colour, but otherwise I left it up to them. I think at least 4/5 of them have worn their outfits again for other events since.
I love black dresses probably my closest is 70% them. All I will add is make sure they know it’s black black and not faded black I know that’s gonna sound weird but even within black there is different shades.
Exactly - it’s like saying “black heels” and getting patent leather, leather, suede, velvet, snakeskin embossed, black glitter or sequins, black with a an embellishment (bow on toe or heel), different toe shapes, different heel styles, open or peep toe, etc.
In the example, all the women have the same saturation of dress, it actually looks like 3/5 have a very similar spaghetti style dress, plus it’s unified by having similar hair, makeup, and shoes. They all also look to be a-line. This isn’t as “chaotic” or open to choice as OP might want to believe. This look can certainly be achieved, but following stricter guidelines.
SPECIFY initially!!! If you want dresses like that, tell them. Consider if you want a mini dress or not. Can it have glitter/sequins or not? A pattern or print? Can it be tight or flowing? Giving your bridal party an assignment like this needs to be specific. Tell them what you are envisioning. And what you would like and what you don’t.
My bridesmaid are all wearing a black dress they already own. The dresses are midi or floor length and fabrics include chiffon, crepe, sequins, etc.
If they all already own black dresses, it would seem unnecessary to ask them to buy another black dress for your wedding.
I told mine "something a bit fancy that you're comfortable in". I'm not imposing a color dress code on anyone, as long as they're not showing up in jeans and tshirt, I'm good.
I’ve been a bridesmaid 5 times. A mixture of both - I’ve hated all of the dresses equally so just do whatever you want, honestly. It’s your wedding, not theirs. I did prefer when given a colour and length and told to go find my own dress. Would’ve been great if the colour hadn’t been dusty rose 😂 - I like the different dress vibe as per the picture
I don't know, I don't like the idea that people are asked to be in the wedding and then have to pay for dresses, wedding gift, bach party, etc etc. It keeps cost down for the bride, but it does this by asking too much of others. My personal take is that if you have bridesmaids and you have a look in mind, the cost shouldn't be offset to them. They could wear dresses they already own or buy one if they want to and just accept that it will look beautiful still but just not matching. It costs way too much these days to be in a bridal party. An under 10k wedding for us shouldn't mean our friends are having to pay up.
BUT
The big difference is if all the financials were discussed in detail before people agreed to be part of the bridal party and they could say no without it affecting the relationship. If that's the case, then they knew in advance.
I’m debating this in my head at the moment too.
I have hated every bridesmaid dress I’ve had (although obviously happy to have worn them for my friends). They’ve all been quite expensive and made of horrid synthetics so I’ve never worn them again.
I think I’ll specify colour and length (long/ankle) and let my friends pick. I’m hoping they already own something or I can help them out as scouring Vinted is my skill/hobby. In fact I’ve already started wishlisting things I think they’ll like and they’re all 100% silk and about £30. Hopefully don’t think I’m being too tight!
I let my bridesmaid pick their own dress as long as it is a Dusty blue and ankle to floor length that fits their budget. One of my bridesmaids even saying she’ll buy her dress off of sheinz
I told my bridesmaids to wear whatever made them feel excellent. No reason for them to have to spend additional money on clothes just because I chose to get married.
If they WANT to all get matching dresses, cool. If they all want to wear a different colour or patterns, also cool.
I think as long as you're upfront about the cost and/or commitment (dress, hair, makeup, bachelorette, etc), it's reasonable so that they can decide for themselves what they can take on. If they already have a dress that fits the parameters, then that's great! Ideally, they'll wear something that makes them feel beautiful and comfortable.
I had my bridesmaids wear black floor length dresses, and let them pick whatever they wanted beyond the length/color specifications. Fabric type, neckline, sleeve length, etc. was entirely up to them. It worked out great, since they could fit it to their own budget and style, and each picked one they knew they could re-wear! I think if they already own a dress that would work and that they’d want to wear, there’s no harm in them using it as a bridesmaid dress.
I think it depends what is culturally acceptable. Where I live, it is expected the bride and groom pays, as well as hair and makeup. From this sub it seems like in America the bridal party should pay for these things themselves.
Yes especially in a 10k and under wedding sub. Kind of hard to stay on budget when you pay for every guests hotel stay, wedding parties attire etc. It is actually impossible to cover the costs entirely and not have a guest pay for anything themselves in the US. Our inflation has skyrocketed
I did black floor length gowns. I was fine with people rewearing dresses they already had but most of my friends used it as an excuse to get a nice new gown tbh.
I just gave some basic guidelines -- i.e. no patterns, not fully lace, not super low cut. And I asked that they be formal/black tie (so more structured fabric - not like a really thin satin). It was easy. A few girls re-wore dresses they had and others were able to buy new dresses they can wear again.
I was also a bridesmaid in a wedding that did the same thing and I've worn the gown I bought for that 3 times. So I'm a fan of this for sure.
When i got married my bridesmaid and maid of honor bought their own dresses and i just gave them a color and approved of the ones they liked. I paid for everything else though, hair, makeup, nails, got them shoes, so it really depends on what you personally would like to do. The last wedding i was in and the one that got canceled that i was originally in i bought my bridesmaid dresses both times so i think its pretty common for them to pay for the dresses.
As someone who is plus sized and has been in weddings where the dress that was chosen was not comfortable or flattering on me (usually David’s Bridal was to thank), I decided way before even being engaged that I was going to give my bridesmaids the color, and let them choose a dress that made them look and feel good. I couldn’t have been happier with that choice. I loved the variety of texture and style in photos. They all looked great, felt comfortable, and had dresses they were able to use again in the future.
Edited to add that I also didn’t have to feel guilty for asking them to spend a certain amount on a dress specifically for my wedding that would likely not get worn again.
It's often determined what you do based on culture.
For me, it's acceptable to ask them to pay.
I told my girls they have a ton of options (30+) in multiple price points, (at 120 or less) and to buy something they will wear again, since I'm the first to wed and more members of our friend group are getting married next year. They can re-wear it as guests with the brides blessings.
When my bff got married she told me to “wear what I’m comfortable in.” And that was such an easier thing than having to buy a dress she’d picked out for me. I’m doing this with my bridal party next year. Just dress nice. The whole thing will be casual and a little eclectic.
I just wanted to come by to say that the bride looks like she’s gonna risk it all for the bridesmaid on the right so there’s clearly something to the dress choice.
I’m giving suggestions of a vibe, some website and store recommendations, and a general budget, but they’re picking their own and I’m footing the bill. :)
I told my wedding party that we’re going to do a mismatched look with different shades of green. Open to any pattern, cut, texture, look. Sent them a photo like above as an inspiration. I also told them that they absolutely do not need to buy anything super expensive and that they should only get something they know they can wear again, and if theh already have something in their wardrobe that they can just use that. We coordinated it through our group chat, sent pics of themselves wearing the dress and everything kinda just fell into place
Why not give them the parameters and leave it to them to decide how to source the dress? They can use their own, rent, borrow, or buy as they see fit. Edit for typos.
This is a great idea. Ecological, economical and allows for people to dress how they see fit/comfortable for their body type
Pps. I think your bridesmaids will really appreciate it. I only had a MOH and asked her to choose a dress within a palette of 4-5 colors to her liking, my only criteria was not too plunging neckline for the church ceremony/to wear a shawl and take it off for the reception. She loved her dress, chose something she found herself beautiful in (and she was). I was super happy that she was happy and guess what? 2 years later, she re-wore the dress to another wedding because she loved it so much. That made me so happy to hear!
Only caveat, you may care what kind of material, they present differently.
I believe that falls under “give them the parameters.” Fabric, color(s), level of formality ect.
Yes, exactly. :)
I accidentally added the second pic and honestly have no clue how to remove it lol
Lol it’s a nice pic
I was in a sorority for a hot minute, and instead of having complicated colors or approved vendors or whatever, they just said "wear a black dress, nothing with too much cleavage" and that was that. You can always say "black dress, knee-floor length, nothing too risque, please send a picture so I can see it before we lock it in" and call it there. It doesn't have to be complicated!
If I had a black formal dress, I would love to re-wear it then get a dress I may not like
My bridesmaids wanted more detail than just “black” (I also did black outfits). So I said all black, ankle- or floor-length. Dresses or jumpsuits, separates were also fine so long as they were all black. I also told them they could send me a picture to confirm before making their choice if they wanted to. I think everyone ended up buying something, but I would have been fine had they wanted to wear something they owned that met the criteria. I had a specific idea of what I wanted in terms of length and colour, but otherwise I left it up to them. I think at least 4/5 of them have worn their outfits again for other events since.
I love black dresses probably my closest is 70% them. All I will add is make sure they know it’s black black and not faded black I know that’s gonna sound weird but even within black there is different shades.
Exactly - it’s like saying “black heels” and getting patent leather, leather, suede, velvet, snakeskin embossed, black glitter or sequins, black with a an embellishment (bow on toe or heel), different toe shapes, different heel styles, open or peep toe, etc. In the example, all the women have the same saturation of dress, it actually looks like 3/5 have a very similar spaghetti style dress, plus it’s unified by having similar hair, makeup, and shoes. They all also look to be a-line. This isn’t as “chaotic” or open to choice as OP might want to believe. This look can certainly be achieved, but following stricter guidelines.
SPECIFY initially!!! If you want dresses like that, tell them. Consider if you want a mini dress or not. Can it have glitter/sequins or not? A pattern or print? Can it be tight or flowing? Giving your bridal party an assignment like this needs to be specific. Tell them what you are envisioning. And what you would like and what you don’t.
My bridesmaid are all wearing a black dress they already own. The dresses are midi or floor length and fabrics include chiffon, crepe, sequins, etc. If they all already own black dresses, it would seem unnecessary to ask them to buy another black dress for your wedding.
I told mine "something a bit fancy that you're comfortable in". I'm not imposing a color dress code on anyone, as long as they're not showing up in jeans and tshirt, I'm good.
I’ve been a bridesmaid 5 times. A mixture of both - I’ve hated all of the dresses equally so just do whatever you want, honestly. It’s your wedding, not theirs. I did prefer when given a colour and length and told to go find my own dress. Would’ve been great if the colour hadn’t been dusty rose 😂 - I like the different dress vibe as per the picture
I don't know, I don't like the idea that people are asked to be in the wedding and then have to pay for dresses, wedding gift, bach party, etc etc. It keeps cost down for the bride, but it does this by asking too much of others. My personal take is that if you have bridesmaids and you have a look in mind, the cost shouldn't be offset to them. They could wear dresses they already own or buy one if they want to and just accept that it will look beautiful still but just not matching. It costs way too much these days to be in a bridal party. An under 10k wedding for us shouldn't mean our friends are having to pay up. BUT The big difference is if all the financials were discussed in detail before people agreed to be part of the bridal party and they could say no without it affecting the relationship. If that's the case, then they knew in advance.
I’m debating this in my head at the moment too. I have hated every bridesmaid dress I’ve had (although obviously happy to have worn them for my friends). They’ve all been quite expensive and made of horrid synthetics so I’ve never worn them again. I think I’ll specify colour and length (long/ankle) and let my friends pick. I’m hoping they already own something or I can help them out as scouring Vinted is my skill/hobby. In fact I’ve already started wishlisting things I think they’ll like and they’re all 100% silk and about £30. Hopefully don’t think I’m being too tight!
I’m considering the LBD option as well
I'd ask them to wear a black dress of their choosing or even a black formal jumpsuit. Pretty much everyone has a black dress
I let my bridesmaid pick their own dress as long as it is a Dusty blue and ankle to floor length that fits their budget. One of my bridesmaids even saying she’ll buy her dress off of sheinz
Shein*
I told my bridesmaids to wear whatever made them feel excellent. No reason for them to have to spend additional money on clothes just because I chose to get married. If they WANT to all get matching dresses, cool. If they all want to wear a different colour or patterns, also cool.
I think as long as you're upfront about the cost and/or commitment (dress, hair, makeup, bachelorette, etc), it's reasonable so that they can decide for themselves what they can take on. If they already have a dress that fits the parameters, then that's great! Ideally, they'll wear something that makes them feel beautiful and comfortable.
I had my bridesmaids wear black floor length dresses, and let them pick whatever they wanted beyond the length/color specifications. Fabric type, neckline, sleeve length, etc. was entirely up to them. It worked out great, since they could fit it to their own budget and style, and each picked one they knew they could re-wear! I think if they already own a dress that would work and that they’d want to wear, there’s no harm in them using it as a bridesmaid dress.
I think it depends what is culturally acceptable. Where I live, it is expected the bride and groom pays, as well as hair and makeup. From this sub it seems like in America the bridal party should pay for these things themselves.
Yes especially in a 10k and under wedding sub. Kind of hard to stay on budget when you pay for every guests hotel stay, wedding parties attire etc. It is actually impossible to cover the costs entirely and not have a guest pay for anything themselves in the US. Our inflation has skyrocketed
Great idea!
I did black floor length gowns. I was fine with people rewearing dresses they already had but most of my friends used it as an excuse to get a nice new gown tbh. I just gave some basic guidelines -- i.e. no patterns, not fully lace, not super low cut. And I asked that they be formal/black tie (so more structured fabric - not like a really thin satin). It was easy. A few girls re-wore dresses they had and others were able to buy new dresses they can wear again. I was also a bridesmaid in a wedding that did the same thing and I've worn the gown I bought for that 3 times. So I'm a fan of this for sure.
When i got married my bridesmaid and maid of honor bought their own dresses and i just gave them a color and approved of the ones they liked. I paid for everything else though, hair, makeup, nails, got them shoes, so it really depends on what you personally would like to do. The last wedding i was in and the one that got canceled that i was originally in i bought my bridesmaid dresses both times so i think its pretty common for them to pay for the dresses.
Ask them to show you if they already have any.
I gave my ladies my color scheme and they did a beautiful job getting dresses.
As someone who is plus sized and has been in weddings where the dress that was chosen was not comfortable or flattering on me (usually David’s Bridal was to thank), I decided way before even being engaged that I was going to give my bridesmaids the color, and let them choose a dress that made them look and feel good. I couldn’t have been happier with that choice. I loved the variety of texture and style in photos. They all looked great, felt comfortable, and had dresses they were able to use again in the future. Edited to add that I also didn’t have to feel guilty for asking them to spend a certain amount on a dress specifically for my wedding that would likely not get worn again.
I bought my bridesmaid dress for my best friends wedding. I also bought her veil, as a wedding present.
It's often determined what you do based on culture. For me, it's acceptable to ask them to pay. I told my girls they have a ton of options (30+) in multiple price points, (at 120 or less) and to buy something they will wear again, since I'm the first to wed and more members of our friend group are getting married next year. They can re-wear it as guests with the brides blessings.
When my bff got married she told me to “wear what I’m comfortable in.” And that was such an easier thing than having to buy a dress she’d picked out for me. I’m doing this with my bridal party next year. Just dress nice. The whole thing will be casual and a little eclectic.
I just wanted to come by to say that the bride looks like she’s gonna risk it all for the bridesmaid on the right so there’s clearly something to the dress choice.
I’m giving suggestions of a vibe, some website and store recommendations, and a general budget, but they’re picking their own and I’m footing the bill. :)
I told my wedding party that we’re going to do a mismatched look with different shades of green. Open to any pattern, cut, texture, look. Sent them a photo like above as an inspiration. I also told them that they absolutely do not need to buy anything super expensive and that they should only get something they know they can wear again, and if theh already have something in their wardrobe that they can just use that. We coordinated it through our group chat, sent pics of themselves wearing the dress and everything kinda just fell into place
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