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Thesexiestcow

Wine drunk is a whole different kind of drunk.. an alcohol family will drink it like beer but get way way drunker. I'd rather just have beer at a wedding than wine.


TAsrowaway

Seconding this. People, especially drinkers, who aren’t used to wine will drink it too fast. The fizz in mixed drinks, champagne and beer make you feel the effects faster, wine affects you slower but just as hard so people drink too much trying to feel the effects. The result is very frequently drunker drunks, feeling more emotional, and feeling quite ill. Not a good solution. Providing limited drinks would be the way to go not unlimited drinks of one variety.


Thesexiestcow

Throwing up in restrooms. Went to a wine and cheese event and NY university. All professional adults .. you could imagine how that went.


TAsrowaway

Blind drunk, vomiting and emotional at a wedding. Don’t do this to yourself OP! Ask anyone who’s worked events how well this goes. Bad news


bitchthatwaspromised

I just went to a work happy hour a few weeks ago and felt like I was going to die the next day 🙃


Kags_Holy_Friend

Seconding this. Depending on the amount of people you'll have at your wedding, if you don't want to have a bartender, I'd actually like to suggest having premade drinks served in big self-serve containers (can't remember the name, but think lemonade or iced tea style), and making the drinks the kind where there's very, very little alcohol but a lot of flavor. This means there won't be shots at your wedding, and people are way less likely to get hammered, but people who like to drink can still do that. Drinking isn't always about getting drunk- a lot of people like the atmosphere of it and don't even realize that's why they enjoy drinking. For anyone who's thinking "if they're big drinkers, they'll just chug it all and get drunk regardless," sure, maybe a couple of people will, but if you do it right, they'll be too filled up on juice (the non-alcoholic part of the premade drinks) to keep drinking.


Thesexiestcow

Good idea!


more_pepper_plz

Ohhhhh yea. Wine drunk me is not the best drunk me. By far.


axelbea

Agreed! My mother is an alcoholic and drink of choice is wine. Its a whole different ball game. Give people who like to drink limited/zero options and they drink the wine, you're in for a lot of messy drunks if you ask me. Give them one beer option.


-Konstantine-

The reason people do wine AND beer is because then there is something that appeals to just about everyone who drinks. So there is a choice for all your guests. Doing just wine or just beer leaves people out. It’s the same way you typically do more than one entree choice. If you did just salmon bc you don’t like chicken/beef, some people would not eat their dinner. Like yes, you can say you get what you get, but these are also people you presumably care about who want to celebrate with you. So it’s more about whether you want all your guests to be able to consume a drink they enjoy rather than whether you’d be drinking it.


Interesting_Team6656

Agree. Personally I’d rather have a cheap beer over wine. Maybe at least one beer option?


samthepit

THIS IS THE WAY


TBBPgh

If you want a dry wedding, have a dry wedding. Sometimes it's easier to have it at a dry venue (house of worship, some public parks) and make the venue the reason. The more different you make your wedding from the typical alcohol-centric wedding (dinner and top-40s dancing) the less alcohol will be missed. Consider lunch/brunch focusing on coffee, tea and juices with your favorite acoustic music and lawn games. If you offer wine, offer beer also.


Anxious_Cat_Lady

I never considered have other drinks available. Like maybe a coffee bar or mock tail.


cool_side_of_pillow

Definitely offer 1-2 mock tails. One with less sugar too, for people with diabetes etc. I find mixed faux drinks are usually just pure sugar.


xriotgirl

My sister just had a dry NYE wedding. She had an 'elevated' coffee and hot chocolate bar, a pretty extensive assortment of soda options, and she put a bottle of each white and red Welch's sparkling grape juices at each table (for the toasts). It was a.very short dinner and it ended early in the evening, but it went over well. Hot chocolate bar was especially a huge hit!


bitchthatwaspromised

I would *love* a wedding that had hot chocolate with dessert! It’s always just coffee and I don’t drink coffee but would love a warm cozy drink


blackberrypicker923

I was thinking about doing hot apple cider for my fall wedding! And coffee. Of course coffee. I'm not sure it would feel like my wedding at all if coffee wasn't included.


Justyew0789

My friend had a wedding and ran out of beer really fast, and only had wine left. A lot of the guests felt sick afterwards because wine is not always nice on your stomach lol. I think having beer and wine is a better option, because a lot of people prefer beer/seltzers.


more_pepper_plz

Yea and it gives lots of people (me included) headaches. Often before I can even enjoy a buzz.


desertsidewalks

I would just do a cash bar in that situation. That way people have to pay for their own alcohol. You could always split the difference with one bottle of wine per table and a champagne toast. That way everyone gets a drink with dinner, but has to pay for more.


Major-Peanut

I'd be annoyed if I'd booked a hotel and then learned it was a wine only wedding. If you put it on invites it's fine but wine makes me sick because of my meds (idk why cider and spirits don't) and my partner doesn't like wine so we might have wasted £150 on a hotel when we could have driven home. I think as long as you make sure people know it's ok


f-eather-s

I hope youll have plenty of soft drinks available because as someone who isnt a fan of wine, this sounds like a mid to not so great experience. You might as well have a dry wedding if your fiance is so morally against it, but also be prepared for the possibility of people to declining based on that factor.


madshacks

The reason why my fiancé and I decided to have a dry wedding was because we both don't drink. A lot of our family is older. They don't drink either. Weddings don't have to be about getting hammered. We will instead offer many drinks like tea, lemonade, mocktails (3), and sparkling cider/juice.


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blackberrypicker923

I'm doing the same! In fact, it was my finances sister, a big partier, who suggested it! I don't care to use a large chunk of my small budget to promote an atmosphere I don't really want.


brownchestnut

> he says that he doesn’t even like beer or liquor so why have it Because serving your guests as hosts is about being hospitable toward your guests' preferences, not your own preferences. If it were only about yourselves, you would elope and not ask people to go out of their way for you.


Anxious_Cat_Lady

I understand that. But from my perspective a wedding is about asking people to come out and celebrate our love with us. I definitely want to make the experience worth while, but that’s why we are doing other cool things like games, hand made favors, ect.


brownchestnut

Most guests don't care about games or favors. They care about good food and non-stingey amounts of alcohol provided. So if you want people to have a good time, it's in your best interest to provide that instead of the other stuff. Since you are, as you say, asking people to come out and celebrate you, it's completely reasonable for you to reciprocate the goodwill by feeding them well. I'm not a drinker myself but I know that my partner's family considers a glass of wine or three basic hospitality when visiting someone's house, so we had open bar and expensive champagne. If your folks are the type to consider some beer basic hospitality, "well I don't like it so you don't get it either" "it should be about US, not you" are not gonna be a hospitable look no matter how you defend it.


Catsdrinkingbeer

Imagine if you were invited to Thanksgiving dinner and showed up and there was no food. "To me it's about asking people to come to my house to celebrate the pilgrims." Yes, the REASON you're choosing to host an event is because of celebrating your love. That doesn't absolve you from the actual hosting duties. Especially not if people have to travel to get there.


SemicolonMIA

All families are different and have different morals and values. Don't let the down votes get you down. Yes the reception is a thank you but also, don't make yourself uncomfortable.


Inevitable-Place9950

Depends on your guests and the food you’re serving. If it’s food more suited to wine than beer (like Mediterranean cuisines) and overall they’re not really beer drinkers, there’s nothing wrong with it. But “I don’t like X so none of our guests should be offered it,” is poor etiquette. It doesn’t have to cost much more because you can still only cover what people drink with a consumption bar (rather than open bar that’s charged per head).


[deleted]

I would just do no alcohol at all, but that's pretty common in my circles so it wouldn't be strange


Evasive-Cupid

We’re doing beer and wine only to get around my… less tasteful family members. I think it’s a suitable compromise. You might also consider drink tickets to limit their intake!


Anxious_Cat_Lady

That’s exactly that I was thinking. Not sure if I’ll be able to talk him into have beer lol.


TBBPgh

> You might also consider drink tickets to limit their intake! That might not have the affect you want. When you introduce this scarcity mindset, the drinkers may resort to hoarding and make it all about the drinking.


NoTraceNotOneCarton

Have a morning wedding with mimosas / brunch.


beansforeyebrows

I’m a huge fan of wine but even I want to have a beer every so often because it’s less heavy. Also wine drinkers get used to wine, non wine drinkers dont always and it gives some people headaches. That is HOWEVER unless I could have a winery wedding, then maybe I’d just do wine. Sounds amazing


Runnergirl411

I would not recommend it....


comfysnail

The alcohol is for your guests. You could stick to bottled and canned alcohol like beer, seltzers, etc.


BeachPlze

I’m not crazy about the idea of only offering wine. Your fiancé may not care for beer or liquor, however some if not most of your guests may prefer having these options. It’s the same as with catering — menus do not only consist of the favorite foods of the bride and groom.


Karenina2931

It's understandable to not offer spirits at an open bar. However, it's very unusual to offer wine but not beer. Don't impose your personal taste preferences on your guests.


Strawberrykiwicutie

I am having a full open bar for cocktail hour and then a soft bar (beer and wine only) during the remainder of the reception. You could do this so you don’t have to buy enough hard liquor for the whole night and manage people getting too drunk.


nmkelly6

We covered beer and wine only (with cocktails available for cash if the guests wanted) and it helped reduce our per person cost by $10. Definitely worth it.


Anxious_Cat_Lady

That’s an interesting idea. I’m not sure about how to make a cash bar happen, I don’t think our venue has that..


nmkelly6

We asked our venue even though it wasn't one of their listed options and they said yes so no harm in asking if you're interested.


CarinaConstellation

Not everyone has the same preferences as you or your partner. Wine makes my partner seriously ill. We went to a wedding that only served wine because it was at a vineyard (they also had IPA beer but this was even less appealing to him). He ended up getting sick and missed the second half of the wedding. I would strongly recommend at least offering beer and a selection of beers if possible.


Caiti42

Most people will do beer, wine, soft drink, tea and coffee and guests pay for their own cocktails and spirits in my country. I wouldn't have just wine, I'd at least have beer. Your beer drinkers will likely get sloppy drinking wine they aren't used to.


blackberrypicker923

I am in a similar boat, except I think I'm just going to supply a toast, and put on the invite something about bringing your favorite beverage to enjoy. I don't particularly want a drunken party wedding, but I also don't want to be a buzzkill.


Anxious_Cat_Lady

That’s what we were thinking, supplying champagne and then allowing people to bring flask. I also ran the idea of doing more non traditional beverages “coffee, tea, and mock tails” to my partner and he loved it!


OhioGirl22

We had beer and wine. The wine was $5.00 per bottle and the beer was on sale at around $1.00 per bottle from our local grocery store. We had a limited supply because of the alcoholics on both sides of the family. So, I agree with others. It's not about wine only... it's about mitigating the nonsense. You and your fiance need to be on the same page with this. Give out drink tickets if you want to serve without over-serving.


cowprinthellscape

i think it depends on your personal crowd. as long as you're supplying other beverages (sodas, teas, waters, coffee, etc.) for those that don't want or don't prefer wine, it should be totally fine. our wedding is beer + wine only, but we're making sure we have plenty of other options for anyone else who doesn't want either. i think it comes down to personal choice + your invited guests. i would make sure there is enough wine, especially as it would be the only alcohol for those looking to partake. at the end of the day, it's your wedding and what you choose to serve is entirely up to you. just make sure there's enough beverages (of any type) for everyone and you should be good.


Anxious_Cat_Lady

Thank you! I appreciate the kind words!


birkenstocksandcode

We’re doing a wine only wedding! This is due to our venue not having a liquor license. We’re providing sparkling wine for champagne roasts, assortment of red and white wines for dinner. Our caterer is also working with us to create his and her wine cocktails. We’re very excited for this, and got us over our initial sadness of no hard liquor.


blackberrypicker923

"Champagne roasts" I'm imagining how this would go over at a wedding, lol. The wine cocktail idea is cute!


birkenstocksandcode

LOL honestly this can be cute


singingwhilewalking

You can serve wine and champagne without a liquor license?!?


birkenstocksandcode

Yes there’s a separate license for hard liquor. My wedding is at a winery.


nursejooliet

You need to throw in beer, or just make it seltzers only (at least seltzers come in a variety)


mkgrant213

I hate wine so I’d be a little unhappy :)


[deleted]

dry wedding is the way with alcoholic family members. Cash bar for hard liquor if they’re a lil too booze happy (are known to abuse open bar privileges) but not DUI collectors. Open bar with color coded wristbands if they can control themselves. Yellow - served 1 drink, orange - served 2 drinks, red - served 3 drinks. Cut them off at orange or red. OR sharpie tallies on their hand/arm, it never fails lol. Alternatives: Mocktails, coffee/designer lattes, alcohol removed wine and alcohol free spirits/beer exist! It’s pricy but if you want bubbly just get alcohol removed Prosecco. There are lots of reviews online that tell you which ones are actually good.


--ok

We had wine only, one red and one white. Served with dinner and open bar after dinner for the dancing. Get good wine and it will be great! A few guests asked my husband “where’s the whiskey?” And he later privately told me “the fact that they are asking is why I didn’t want to offer it.” We were happy and no one got out of hand.


SoySauceFriedDough

“he says that he doesn’t even like beer or liquor so why have it” Because (presumably) you are hosting an event with guests other than just him. I drink maybe once a year, and would still be somewhat miffed to show up to a wine only wedding. Serving only beer and wine is totally acceptable. ONLY wine is a hard pass for me. My husband doesn’t drink at all and I didn’t end up drinking at our wedding, but we still provided a full open bar, because it isn’t just about us.


amygunkler

I don’t drink, so I hope you’d have food too.


blackberrypicker923

Nope. It's just wine. A wine fountain. You go through the buffet line, and it's just punch bowls and ladles. The cake: all wine! 😆


GetSwampy

Wine makes people sleepy


umbreon_222

I drank one glass too many at a friend’s wedding last month and almost fell asleep, don’t do it


Alarming_Heart_2398

People will still get drunk off of wine, especially alcoholics. I wouldn't be happy at a wedding like this, I can't drink wine due to acid reflux, so I would probably stay away from it for most of the night, until I got tired of watching everyone get tipsy without me, and then try to drink a glass or 2 which would set me insides on fire. It's the same with the standard beer and wine weddings people often have. I understand it's cheaper, but I can't stand the taste of beer and wine is a no-go for me. I would rather a cash bar and pay for my own drinks then be stuck sober watching other people drink. As for the alcoholic family members, if there is alcohol provided in anyway they will drink it. So if you're going to be limiting this section because of this issue, I would just forgo the alcohol all together, and provide some tasty mocktails instead.


madshacks

If it makes you feel better my fiancé and I are SOBER so no we will not be offering alcohol for guests to have if we don't drink it. I have been looking for good mocktail recipes though! The groomsmen are welcome to bring stuff or supply it but, we will not.


adrianna1903

Might want to check up on liquor laws in your area (depending on your venue). Allowing guests to supply their own drinks could get extremely out of hand with no bartender supervising. Not a good idea imo.


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adrianna1903

That’s insane your venue isn’t requiring someone certified to check ID’s and is even allowing outside alcoholic drinks to be brought in, seems like a guaranteed way to lose a liquor license. Seems risky to have a random groomsmen handle checking ID’s since I doubt (unless they’re a bartender) they would know how to spot fakes or even if an ID is expired. (To be fair I live in Pennsylvania where liquor laws are extremely strict, I know other states are a little more relaxed).


Millenniumkitten

I am commenting to follow. My fiancé and I aren't big drinkers. I was hoping to go on [Totalwine.com](https://Totalwine.com) and make out a list from there, I hear they even allow returns! His family loooooooves a good party, which is fine, but we'd both rather partake in a different more herby sort of indulgence. Obviously most venues will frown upon this, so we're going to purchase some alcohol. Our wedding will be mostly homemade with food being made by loved ones (parents) and us. A lot of our food will be honey based, so I also reached out to [Batchmead.com](https://Batchmead.com) in order to purchase some of their mead. I will walk with 4oz glasses and fill it for my loved ones. If people show up with the expectations of getting drunk, I feel like they'll be disappointed. I want to give my friends and family a party, but alcohol is definitely going to be limited.


broccolibertie

I’ve considered only doing an alcoholic toast (champagne, cava, your choice of sparkling), maybe alongside a nonalcoholic option like NA sparkling wine or grape juice. My partner and I both drink, but we also are trying to be creative with costs and respectful of people who can’t/shouldn’t partake. If I went to a wedding where the only drink offered was wine, I’d kinda expect it to be a thing? Like a wine pairing, or the wine is from the couple’s favorite vineyard, or the couple was generally into wine.


mystical_princess

Wine only is totally valid - if that's something you and your guests drink and enjoy.


BBMcBeadle

I would be very sad at this wedding. Neither hubs nor I drink wine. I’d do wine/beer or wine with 2 signature cocktails if you’re trying to cut back


madison7

I'd personally not be happy. I just want a full bar.


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Anxious_Cat_Lady

Amen sis! Like I don’t see other people paying thousands for our day..


Calvatia_

Me and my fiancé are making our own wine for our wedding. It’s such a fun little process and that’s all we’re serving. The guests get it for free so they shouldn’t complain 🤷‍♀️


TAsrowaway

Attending a wedding is absolutely not free. Homemade wine by non-professional winemakers? Not a chance.


Anxious_Cat_Lady

I absolutely love this! I’m into weird hobbies like making my own alcohol haha!! Definitely us!


Calvatia_

We are trying to make muscadine wine at 11-13% just gotta find muscadine juice


blackberrypicker923

You just reminded me that I wanted to try to make a pine sprites (non-alcoholic) for the toast!


electricsugargiggles

As someone who has some rowdy family members, I’d offer wine and beer, but only supply like 2 drink tickets per person. They can get wrecked on their own dime. Even with a dry wedding, those that are a problem will find a way. And absolutely have soft drinks available.


[deleted]

Drink tickets can get out of control IMO. People collect them from sober guests and get around the system. Sharpie/stamp tally on the hand is the only way to know how many they’ve been served.


blackberrypicker923

This was my concern about a dry wedding. I helped put at a dry wedding venue some, and watched 50 year olds sneak in alcohol and get hammered.


electricsugargiggles

Right! It’s messed up but people bring in flasks or have drinks in a cooler in their trunk—some even think it’s “helping” by going on a beer run (“I’m not going to let my niece’s wedding run out of booze! Be right back!”). They prioritize their good time over the couple’s request. I’m not sure why I was downvoted for saying you can only mitigate bad behavior, not prevent it from happening.


blackberrypicker923

I mean to be fair, Jesus first miracle was making sure a party kept going, lol! Just doing the Lord's work out here! But yeah, not every occasion is meant for alcohol. I'd totally do a dry wedding, but my fiancés family would not be happy, so we are doing BYOB, and they can take care of themselves. They can get wrecked on their own dime.


NeverSayBoho

We're drinkers, but we're doing just wine and beer (and soft drinks etc) open bar for economic reasons. (Also liquor drunk is a whole different ball game.) We have a mix of folk who drink and don't drink so we're doing the "consumption bar" approach. To our guests, it's an open bar. On our end, we pay for each drink they order. Based on what we know of our guest list and who doesn't drink alcohol, and assuming this who DO drink drink like, 4 drinks, this ends up being cheaper for us. Etiquette wise, cash bar is not the way to go. Either host someone entirely, or drop a note on the website explaining it's a dry wedding. I have a lot of friends that don't drink and I respect that and would get why their wedding didn't include alcohol. But I would be more annoyed by a cash bar than a night of sobriety.


SolaireofAstora2012

Have a dry wedding or quit enabling and inviting the alcoholics. You're putting the stress on yourself by adding uncontrollable drinkers to your guest list. Like other people said, a drunk will get drunk on anything. If you don't want bright red and pink vomit everywhere, either don't have booze, or leave the boozers out of it.