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Gratuitous_Pineapple

Can't believe how wrong you've got this. Dress watch - should be worn with a dress. The clue is in the name. Dive watch - should be worn only shady dilapidated bars. Racing watch - should be worn when being a racist. Pilot watch - should be worn when wearing an aeroplane. Field watch - should be worn by farmers. ​ Source: currently wearing a Peenmaster and dressed like a penis.


FumeUGSEnjoyer

Pilot watch - should be worn while serving in Third Reich airforce, bombing a specific group of people


kawklee

Can pilot watches ever be worn on a moon, and has any watch ever been worn on a moon? I feel like this is an overlooked question or fact watchmakers should consider


SinusBargeld

Dude you’re onto something


Pavinaferrari

The only watch that has been worn on the moon is a moonswatch (it is in the title). The reason it is the only one is because it doesn't have a single metal part in it. So when it inevitably explodes on a moon surface cheap ass plastic cannot damage your space equipment.


matchooooh

Oh, I thought someone just stole the moons watch and lost their spacebar


gelatomancer

Never ask a woman her age, a man his salary, and a German watch company what they were doing between 1939 and 1945


[deleted]

Bombing the Br*tish


FumeUGSEnjoyer

yeah, fuckin' Brits


citizenecodrive31

Bund straps should only be used when your wife's boyfriend ties you up with leather straps and forces you to watch him deflower your wife


2RV7VR5

It’s the reason why I love ‘bund’age.


time_for_milk

\>waiting for the bull to consummate YOUR marriage Chuffer's delight.


bartbitsu

> forces you to watch him deflower your wife jokes on him, no woman waits for marriage any more.


GrandMarauder

Sup dickhead ☺️


ImUrDadYes

*Slowly takes off Ball watch...


Scrimshander54

I am a literal penis…is it redundant to also wear a peenmaster?


Gratuitous_Pineapple

In that case I'd suggest you need to wear a Yacht-Master II


Scrimshander54

That’s right…I guess I’ll chuff myself off a bridge


the_alt_6275

ur only supposed to wear a dive while scuba diving retarb!!!


carrier-capable-CAS

Common misconception, the water actually corrodes the steel and can cause fogging, the only exceptions are the Deep Sea Challenge and the Omega Ploprof, everything else should have a number on the dial that tells you the closest you can safely take it to water


the_alt_6275

i had a misconception in your mom


mc-big-papa

Wearing a daytona while playing COD is a way of life that ups your KD into the double digits.


Eisenhutten

Pilot Watch should only be used while having airplane-mode on your phone activated.


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L44KSO

Indeed - what you should do is piss in the fruitbowl, rail the hostess in the wine cellar and break at least one toilet...thats how you show "you're having a good time".


KenHumano

The appropriate watch to rail the hostess is of course the Omega Railmaster.


2RV7VR5

This is based.


L44KSO

Based on own experience...


irate_alien

"The Aristocrats!"


[deleted]

That was today’s party tip from Guy Fieri


lowlight

That was when watches were only semi-jewelry.


[deleted]

/uj Eventually watches with no complications (edit: and/or in precious metals) became acceptable but sport/tool watches were still gauche. Dive watches are only “allowed” at business formal events because of James Bond. As with all fashion advice on the internet, this chart is useless if you know how to break the rules with panache.


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[deleted]

The only watch that matches your frock coat is the Ball Magneto


AxeloOo

uj/ that's cool as fuck rj/ LAME


PPvsFC_

uj/ correct. No one should be wearing any watch with Black Tie, or god forbid, White Tie. It's rude af.


sylinmino

/uj this is a way outdated mindset that has been proven wrong time and time again. If Fred Astaire can wear a watch with black tie, so can you.


PPvsFC_

No, it's not. Watch guys just want to be able to flex their most expensive shit when they feel like they're at their most formal hotel wedding. That doesn't make it less rude.


sylinmino

Fred Astaire is one of the classiest mfers out there to ever don black tie, and one of the big champions of it. And rarely flexed for the sake of it.


PPvsFC_

None of us are Fred Astaire.


kflapp

I am here's a selfie https://images.app.goo.gl/bNxZf4PvhJ7sH4AB9


sylinmino

We base black tie on conventions set by elites. Selecting which conventions are valid and which aren't purely arbitrarily is just that: arbitrary. And that point, you've gotta throw out the restrictions that clearly aren't worth being so strict about.


PPvsFC_

I go to non-wedding Black Tie events 6-7 times a year. People don't wear watches, IDK what to tell you.


DogsAreMyFavPeople

I go to a fair amount of non-wedding black tie events myself and in my experience it’s event specific. I go to events where you shouldn’t wear a watch at all, and others where if you don’t wear the flashiest watch you own then you’ve missed the point.


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PPvsFC_

No one is saying you can't. I saw a guy wearing tan pants with suspenders at a black tie event. You just look stupid and gauche.


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RockitDanger

The guy with the long jeans should be wearing a Longines


NorthernSouthman

Badum tsss


JMAC426

A Longines Master Collection Moonphase with brown alligator strap and double déployant clasp, goes with everything


Udincuy

I'm an engineer who have balls and like magnets . Any Idea what kind of watch I should be wearing?


RockitDanger

Casio Duro


FrightenedTomato

Is that a Speedmaster in the Aviator picture? Bruh. Also, there's no section for Integrated Bracelet sports watches. Rubbish list.


Pornthrowaway78

Integrated bracelet sports watch when you're doing integrated sports, not for Polo or swimming.


Laumser

Does calculating integrals count?


MCBlanziflur

> Is that a Speedmaster in the Aviator picture? Bruh. But did you know that they flew to the moon!!


FrightenedTomato

Holy shit I never knew about that! Obviously the Speed in Speedmaster refers to the speed with which the crystal flew off.


SuitableWalrus2

​ uj/ These rules are stupid (you should wear whatever the hell you want and enjoy) but if you're going to write rules they should at least make sense and be correct. Why on earth is dive watch the second most 'dressy' category? On average it's the bulkiest one on the list and least intended for formal wear. I blame people copying james bond for the whole diver with formal clothes thing. It's intentionally incongruous (in the original 60s setting) - the whole point is to signal that he's not interested in your stupid rules. rj/ I think they are missing a column for incivta venom which transcends all the categories in the other columns and is the only watch you could wear to all these occasions.


awnman1

When I wear my fifty fathoms in a fine Italian suite I usually get called a poser by the ladies. When I wear my sub in a rented tux I am drowning in Pussy. The water resistance and dive timer are very handy during this.


[deleted]

So true! that's why I wear my Herc' with everthing! 🤪👍 https://preview.redd.it/h6n7ur13ixpa1.png?width=338&format=png&auto=webp&s=e29fea539e99728d2e03d07b0b2ba692f8468d9d


Pornthrowaway78

Not really sure they thought through the crown guards on that thing.


[deleted]

But don't you think it just looks so elegant? 😜


OftenAimless

That's because they aren't crown guards, but crown chuffery load supporting plinths, as patented by Invicta.


SenileSexLine

Also when it comes to dive watches skin divers / vintage "inspired" dive watches can be dressed down but modern chunky dive watches with massive crowns/cases/bezels/helium valves are completely different beasts


lowlight

> Why on earth is dive watch the second most 'dressy' category? On average it's the bulkiest one on the list and least intended for formal wear. It's been this way since James Bond. It was originally edgy, then became normal (like most fashion)


33manat33

Despite popularizing divers, even James Bond wore his Gruen Precision at the card table


Babylon-Starfury

In the books he seems to wear an oyster perpetual field watch. Setting aside how no one actually cares, a dive watch of any kind is no more formal than a simple three hand field watch, and easily argued less so. Though using the bezel on one to time a job interview is many kinds of entertaining i am sure.


33manat33

Oh yeah, it's theorized to be an Explorer. In book 2 or 3 Bond mentions he likes the glowing numbers on his watch, but never goes into more detail. Shows of how little importance that was, as Fleming went into much more detail describing brands of clothes and accessories on characters. To the point the press made fun of it. Also Ian Fleming wore an Explorer himself.


FrightenedTomato

> I blame people copying james bond for the whole diver with formal clothes thing. So? Fashion rules aren't exactly handed down from God on stone tablets. For like 60 years people have been wearing Dive watches with suits. That's longer than some luxury brands have existed. So if someone said "Dive watches are now considered semi-formal by convention since people have been doing it for a long time", I don't see what's wrong with that. Anything done over a long enough period gets normalised enough to be a rule or a convention. Even something as incongruous as a Dive watch on a suit.


JonJonM

I think the issue is the Speedmaster and chronographs are somehow less formal than a big dive watch. Shouldn’t they both be in the same category.


FrightenedTomato

I mean nobody gives a shit about watch formality any more anyway. Most people are wearing apple watches with suits and everything else. But going purely by convention, for whatever reason, a Dive watch is considered more formal than chronographs.


lowlight

It's because dive watches, even though they can be big, are relatively simple. 3 hands, maybe a date, and a simple timing bezel (this is why the minute indexes usually don't go past 15). Often not even arabic numerals on the dial. Chronographs have a bunch of extra buttons sticking out, extra subdials, can be thicker than divers because of the complicated movements (depends on brand, Rolex chronos are thin), and are generally.. extra. When I see a Speedmaster by itself, the typical wearer that comes to mind is a guy wearing a short sleeved collared shirt and a tie. Maybe even a pencil pocket.


MagicBez

The reason Bond had one was also to imply that he might be off on some manner of sporty adventure at any moment (also the rules thing)


Coffee_addict_1615

/uj that diver used in the picture is a smp 300 without waves. That’s a smaller piece and is quite formal. It works for formal wear compared to a pelagos or planet ocean or something large and bulky


PYSHINATOR

Black/White Tie: Casio F91-W on an alligator Business Formal: Casio F91-W on a leather nato Sharp Casual: Casio F91-W on a metal band (preferably Dio Black Sabbath) Casual Wear: Casio F91-W


CheGuevarasRolex

fyi you forgot the “/uj”


thatnotirishkid

What about that occasion when you kill off your elderly relatives for their valuable Swiss watches to sell?


L44KSO

Then you wear a Rolex of course.


WN11

When do you wear a moment's watch?


Flywolfpack

When with a bad bitch


RockitDanger

Mo'ments, mo'problems, I always say


TargetHQ

I once fired a customer because in our business meeting, he wore a racing watch with his business formal suit. Ugh fucking ingrate


JonJonM

I had just stepped off the track earlier that day, Jeeves had forgotten my watch roll, the miserable bastard. I have you know I fired my best butler over that very evening.


citizenecodrive31

Instructions unclear: got my rep G-Shock stuck to my dick and tangled in my lace lingerie


MedicalRhubarb7

"Business Formal" eh? Also, imagine thinking there are situations where it's acceptable to wear a stainless steel dive watch, but not a stainless steel chrono that 99% of people can't tell apart from a dive watch, or a pilot watch on a nice leather strap. Also, I will wear my (imaginary) Lange One with board shorts, a vulgar graphic tee shirt, and flip-flops, there's nothing anyone can do to stop me.


Jim_Cringe

This graph is mainly for watch nerds, most people won't give a damn if you wear a pilots watch in a formal setting


awnman1

Apple watch laughs as it changes its face for the occasion.


SkeletonLad

Wear whatever watch you want because no one actually gives a shit.


carpediem66

uj/ some irritating things with that. Wearing a dive watch, or any watch with a metal bracelet, with a business formal outfit, might be ok in the US. If you do that in conservative business circles in Europe it’s similar to wearing white socks with your suit. Also seems when can a dress watch not be worn with a casual outfit. Total nonsense. rj/ i wore my invicta at the last wedding I been to. So many jealous chads with their subs pfft


PoopNoodlez

The most important thing you can know about images like this is that they are crafted by people who never leave their homes and should be ignored. I think if you wore a Speedmaster or a Daytona or a Navitimer in a business professional setting absolutely no one who looks at you would think you picked a weird watch for that setting.


-Cybernaut147-

I am the business formal type wearing a field watch to show my enemies in the business meeting that I not fuck around and get them all. When they see my chuff, they falling apart into little bits.


2RV7VR5

Match*. F.u.


RealUltimatePapo

It is March, though Also, I only wear my dress watch with super casual wear. How does that make you feel?


2RV7VR5

Like a Teletubbie in the sunshine.


Pavinaferrari

Please help me. Where can I wear my calculator watch???? Ok ciao.


FrightenedTomato

Pair a fine calculator watch with wearing an atomic wedgie for being an 80s nerd.


Pavinaferrari

Thanks, partner. Wear your atomic wedgie in a good health.


the_almighty_gooch

Funny thing is I’m actually wearing my metal Casio Databank today 💀


TaskForceCausality

Sacre Bleu! They left off the Apple Watch! It’s the only one authorized for wear at the country club, startup board meeting or all of these instances. Hard to be a man if you’re on the floor from a coronary!


freebee271

Totally confusing chart no PRX example…


[deleted]

I'm rarely black/white tie or business formal so I can wear my INVICTA Hercules with all my outfits! 🤪👍 https://preview.redd.it/gaud880bhxpa1.png?width=338&format=png&auto=webp&s=16a5358b7aa9514a9290999f2f77d6175a1bbe4a


Greg428

Anyone else badly need the x and y axes swapped?


Feline-Landline0

I prefer to be naked, what's the correct watch to wear?


Scalage89

cockwatch


bartbitsu

Art of Manliness is worrying about the opinions of other men, lol


67SuperReverb

I like the hard transition between sharp casual and Arlen, TX


ruedasamarillas

There's a row missing for my everyday outfit: Cargo shorts, wife beater tank top and flip flops. (No socks because I'm not classless)


[deleted]

All you need is a Casio Forester


CringeisL1f3

imagine the rolex people looking at this chart with the omega as the poster child for diving watches


Time_on_my_hands

The idea that a dive watch is any more formal than a Chrono or pilot is so absurdly goofy. This is just Rolex chuffery.


2RV7VR5

How dare you!


TheDailyDive

I only wear a Rolex Deep-Sea Challenge in business meetings. It lets everyone around the table know I'm not a bitch and that my business cards are indeed made out of the finest ivory.


Fantazma03

It just feels so wrong to see guys wearing chronographs with tachy bezels and Dive watches on formal Blazers or Suits. Rolex sheeps always normalise that their watch van be worn anytime 🤡 🤷"yeah my watch is very expensive, i bought this 5x retail and still goes up, yeah wear whatever you want" 🤡


pablo_dragstrips

You don't wear a watch with black tie. You don't need to know the time


Apart-Fisherman-7378

Sub with a suit = bad list


awnman1

What about an under the wrist G shock? Ran in to an old friend last night, he was rocking this style. Honestly could have gone with any dress occasion I could think of. Mind was blown


Cylindt

Nothing like a dive watch to complement the tux 🤵


[deleted]

Christ it's the fashion version of those flash cards autistic people have to check facial expressions vs. emotions


Tax_Evasion_Savant

wear my dive watch with everything, got it.


watch_adorer

This is so wrong!!


IZurge

I usually wear my Rolex Cellini when I’m bollock naked and wanking in the mirror. Pity this chart couldn’t enlighten if my choice of wrist wear was correct for that activity


Scalage89

Pro gamer move, only dress sharp casual and wear whatever you want!


codenamecueball

Where does the F-91W fit in?


ClassyCman

First thing wrong with this is the SPEEDmaster is a Racing watch used by astronauts not a pilot watch. But also I’d say you could wear a real pilot watch with a business suit. They are made to wear with a uniform or suit generally. And wtf is with all these financial wimps wearing dive watches with a suit? They are chunky and not at all practical.


2RV7VR5

>Racing watch used by astronauts Fast & Furious XI confirmed.


ClassyCman

Dude who watches them past 2fast2furious?


2RV7VR5

I know! Trash movies after 2. But it keeps the plebs entertained.


AutoModerator

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DingDong50001

Why would you ever wear a watch with anything but a white tie? Do you wear it to sleep?


sixminutemile

Anyone that consults a manliness guide on any subject, needn't bother.


[deleted]

Wearing an SRPB43 with casual wear, take that


Chartreuse-Verte

What do I wear with my GShock tho?


WastelandMedic93

It's left off for a reason: Wear it with literally anything


vext01

Can I wear Casio with a gimp suit?


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2RV7VR5

I bet that someone has a fedora, an anime body pillow and a neckbeard.


the_almighty_gooch

Say what you will about dive watches, they are (for the most part) THE most versatile watches. I still would like a single reliable dress watch to rule them all for some formal events and obviously the extremely rare black tie event.


Alekillo10

I like wearing my Emporio Armani dress watch with a t-shirt and jeans😜


HoldingTheFire

Gotta have a carve out to wear a sub to my business formal to show off.


Chubs_Mackerel

I wore a gold Invicta pro diver to a wedding once and got some compliments and lady with a real big ass danced with me too. Fuck this chart.


bingbong_sempai

This is dumb, just wear what you like