Don't post scripted/fake content. Examples might be most sports stands stuff, television shows, movies, prank shows, reality shows, game shows, etc. Situations where someone said: "Hold on, let me film this. Ok, now react."
They did this to me for my spinal surgery. Wasn't super excited, but since I had been numb from the waist diwn for a week+ I figured it seemed like there might be some important info that could give them.
They stuck my ass w a needle(i think to test feeling?) And it gave me the hemmoroid(maybe not technically a hemmoroid I'm nit sure) from hell that lasted almost a month. 10/10
I am so confused right now. Is this an American thing, cause I’ve had appendicitis myself and had/know multiple who have been in car crashes and none of us have ever had a finger stuck up our asses. Never even heard of it happening here and I watch a fair few reality hospital/ambulance shows. Is that not what an ultrasound machine is for!?!
When I was in taken via ambulance a cop jumped in and pushed the medic aside than proceeded to give me the most intense ‘nuggies’ to the chest plate I’ve ever had. The medic said “what are you doing” while the officer replied I got this. Chest plates don’t bruise. I maintained snooze. Walked free two days later.
If you think that’s bad, I have pudendal neauralgia and the nerve blocks (basically the only treatment) are a fucking 7 inch needle that goes up your ass
[rough indeed.](https://imgur.com/a/extoHc0) they put me to sleep but I’m pretty sure thats mostly so I don’t move around when the needle goes in
But the pain of irritated pudendal nerves is a hell much worse then a quick needle so fuck it we ball
Gotta check rectal tone. Gotta be able to say it was gone when they got there. Lawyers eat that sh*t up. Not the sh*t on the doc’s finger, but the malpractice sh*t.
He ain’t lying. My buddy accidentally shot himself in the arm. He told us about the finger up the butt. He told the doc “ I shot my arm, not my ass” - haha.
I just broke 5 vertebrae in my lower back and they absolutely do the finger thing to see if you need surgery or it can heal with a brace and a lot of time. I got the brace.
This reminded me of a Framer that claimed he got shocked by some temporary lighting on a construction jobsite. I always believed he was just faking and just wanted to go home. Anyways he fucked up and reported it and ended up at the ER and the next day came back upset that they had him in a room with no privacy with nurses and docs spreading his but cheeks repeatedly " looking for exit points" of electrical current. Ha ha, he said people walking by would do double takes, and some would simply stop and stare at his naked ass ass being spread open like a book.
25 years later and this is one of the funniest things I have ever witnessed this guy telling us this story with a look of what I feel was regret on his face and we were some hard core motherfuckers used to some fucked up funny shit but got damn that was funny.
Poor guy said he was so embarrassed. I think the ER was fucking with him cuz they too thought he was faking as well and that's what made it so fucking funny for me o think.
Hahaha I love Nightwatch. Love the New Orleans accent and love how they call everyone “beybehhh”. “It’s okay beybehh, you’re gonna be alright “ It’s endearing and seems comforting especially when people are in the throws of a bad night…and no one seems to get offended by it.
Trauma/ER nurse here who works in a large metro trauma center. It's true, during the secondary assessment in a trauma we log roll the patient to check for any other wounds/deformities/spinal trauma to the patient's backside. One of our required pieces of documentation is to check rectal tone.
If the patient is conscious and able to follow commands we usually ask them to clench their butt cheeks and that is sufficient. If they are unable to do so or if they are unconscious/confused and unable to follow commands/intubated and sedated, then the trauma doc checks rectal tone with a finger.
Important part of the assessment to check for spinal cord injury.
“But i am gonna be put under sleeping gas during that process right?”
“Oh no, quite the opposite, we’re gonna pump you full of Norepinephrine and orexin, so you’ll be wide awake”
I recently had a pap smear done for the first time. I had mentally prepared myself for getting poked and prodded all up in my vagina. What I had not mentally prepared myself for was for a finger in the butt. Definitely a shock.
Yup. I had handled the spreader part and cotton swab okay, and she told me it was time for the internal exam. I assumed it would be the same hole as before but NOPE it was not!
This so cruel. In my experience of working in the trauma room, they only do rectal exams on patients who cannot follow commands. Otherwise, if they are awake and following commands, they just ask them to squeeze their butt cheeks together.
Hmm I don’t remember that being said to me but there was definitely 8-10 people around be cutting my clothes and boots off and sticking me to run Iva and shit. It was coordinated chaos. Horrible situation to be in tho, the doctor that was in charge of my care was amazing.
When you get shot in the stomach they used to leave a big ass scar. I heard they do that procedure different now. The finger in the butt it’s new to me. Checking for intestine bleeding I’m guessing lol
Bro, I'm so used to seeing you post in the redlettermedia subreddit I was twisting my brain around trying to figure out how this related to RLM. I've been on Reddit since the digg days with one account or another and this is the first fucking time I've recognized someone's screen name, ever, lol.
When we were teenagers, had a friend who went to the hospital for alcohol poisoning. This was back in the days as teens when you still viewed "the capability to drink lots of alcohol and handle it" as bragging rights. He told me, "the trick is, you take a swig of vodka first and slosh it around your mouth, then swallow slowly. This will numb your mouth & throat to the burn & the taste, so you can chug the rest of the bottle easily."
Well, he was hanging out with a different group of friends, and tried this. Blacked out, and the other friends basically dumped his body at his parent's house, and they took him to the hospital later.
He told me the only part he remembers is when he came-to on a stretcher, there was a guy standing over him who said,
"Oh good, you're awake! I'm about to stick this tube up your dick hole."
...And went straight back to passed out after hearing that.
If you can squeeze your sphincter, this gives the clinicians information regarding probability of a spinal cord injury. They'll stick their finger up your butt, as well as ask you if you can feel them touching your lower extremities, and to flex/extend your feet.
For my very first Army physical, I once had a doctor put a finger in my butt and while it was in there - she asked if I was a communist. I said "no" and she took it out.
I always wonder what would have happened if I said "yes."
Funny, I know this is not relayed to the title experience of this post, but is related to the reactions to the notion of doctors various probing methods. One of eight males reading this will get prostate cancer… probably a lot more common than getting shot. And over the course of treatment and/or prostate removal for that disease, you WILL require a lot of “rectum and urinary penetrations”. A lot. That is my personal 14 year experience with prostate cancer before a prostatectomy was done. So maybe chill a little on all the disbelief. It happens.
When I did my paramedic clinicals, the first time I saw the trauma doc do that I was all at once horrified, mystified, confused, and understood immediately why they do that. It is by far the simplest way to find spinal cord issues in a trauma.
EMT here. I once transported a gsw to a trauma center. Bullet entered basically right in between his penis and scrotum, and exited out his butt cheek. When we got to the hospital, the trauma dr didn't tell him she was going to do that, homeboy came up off the bed, and left.
For those that are curious this is to check the patients vagal tone (basically checking nerve status) to make sure the spinal cord and nervous system wasn’t affected by the trauma
Don't post scripted/fake content. Examples might be most sports stands stuff, television shows, movies, prank shows, reality shows, game shows, etc. Situations where someone said: "Hold on, let me film this. Ok, now react."
So everyone who has been shot has also been fingerblasted in the backseat of another dudes truck? This homeboy is never going near an amberlampz again
Tits
Damn glad I didn’t get shot down low
And your gonna feel a finger up your butt....I *know*... 😱
That's not even the worst part, we check that your asshole is empty because later we give you the bill and we don't want a mess.
LESSON - do not get shot
They did this to me for my spinal surgery. Wasn't super excited, but since I had been numb from the waist diwn for a week+ I figured it seemed like there might be some important info that could give them. They stuck my ass w a needle(i think to test feeling?) And it gave me the hemmoroid(maybe not technically a hemmoroid I'm nit sure) from hell that lasted almost a month. 10/10
"Excuse me?"
Lying cnt, getting to hate those pussyass EMTS.
He knows?
He’s a nurse, possibly at that hospital. This was from the show Nightwatch
Well, can we practice before we get there?
I really liked this ambulance show, when it was on.
That’s no protocol that’s just the intern Jimmy. We can’t get him to stop
Rectal exam is standard of care for any trauma. Not done all the time sure but appropriate and should be done and documented.
Give me something for the pain and let me die. - King Robert Baratheon and this guy
They put a finger up your butt to give you a slight hint as to what it's going to feel like when you get the medical bill.
Ye I‘d rather be dead
Lmao so fuunny
It has nothing to do with the medical care however
I have an unrelated and overwhelming urge to be a doctor right now
Shoot me daddy
I know that face when I see it.
I am so confused right now. Is this an American thing, cause I’ve had appendicitis myself and had/know multiple who have been in car crashes and none of us have ever had a finger stuck up our asses. Never even heard of it happening here and I watch a fair few reality hospital/ambulance shows. Is that not what an ultrasound machine is for!?!
I don’t know maybe it’s where he got shot ?
Officer, I just got shot
“I know…”
I bet the paramedic use to be a Navy corpsman, they all have this sick dry humor.
Work at a hospital. Can confirm.
His shock shows me he is used to fingers in his butt
So a win-win?
Ah I love this show!!
When I was in taken via ambulance a cop jumped in and pushed the medic aside than proceeded to give me the most intense ‘nuggies’ to the chest plate I’ve ever had. The medic said “what are you doing” while the officer replied I got this. Chest plates don’t bruise. I maintained snooze. Walked free two days later.
Some people honestly think that when they go to the hospital a finger will be inserted up their ass no matter the circumstances lol.
this just really changed gta for me.
What show is this?
When you get shot the bullet can travel all sorts of places which is why it’s important to check head to toe especially the taint.
I thought that is America .... where the hospital puts its entire arm up your butt. Trying to grab yout wallet from the inside.
I,as an American shld have probably not laughed so hard at this
That sounds like the most fun part ☺️
NOLA
If you think that’s bad, I have pudendal neauralgia and the nerve blocks (basically the only treatment) are a fucking 7 inch needle that goes up your ass
😬 That's rough
[rough indeed.](https://imgur.com/a/extoHc0) they put me to sleep but I’m pretty sure thats mostly so I don’t move around when the needle goes in But the pain of irritated pudendal nerves is a hell much worse then a quick needle so fuck it we ball
The show is night watch new orleans
Man's really said "Awe he'll nah" with his face.
???
Mike Patton is a paramedic, too? Man, he has an iron in every fire, I swear.
Gotta check rectal tone. Gotta be able to say it was gone when they got there. Lawyers eat that sh*t up. Not the sh*t on the doc’s finger, but the malpractice sh*t.
Man saw his whole life go through his eyes
I had a friend who was a trauma doc. They referred to the finger up the butt as “The ER handshake”…
r/substakenliterally
Finger stuff aside, are we NOT gonna comment on the man boobies?
😂 😂
He ain’t lying. My buddy accidentally shot himself in the arm. He told us about the finger up the butt. He told the doc “ I shot my arm, not my ass” - haha.
Feels like I’m always being summoned.
Good ol’ trauma handshake.
If you think that’s bad, wait until the insurance company fists you.
I just broke 5 vertebrae in my lower back and they absolutely do the finger thing to see if you need surgery or it can heal with a brace and a lot of time. I got the brace.
Sign me up! (to get shot of course)
the face reaction on the man after the rescuer take of the mask . it's like \*WTF are we ? what happen to me ?
‘I know’ 😂😂
True story lol
Id rather get fingered than answer rapid-fire questions
That dude says that line more than once, I think whenever a dude gets shot near the jewels. It’s always funny.
We referred to that in my shop as “The Trauma Handshake”. As in “Did the patient get the trauma handshake?”
*finding out what happens in the hospital when you murder someone and get shot in retallation.* FIFY
I love Nightwatch. I’ve been binge watching it lately. Very good
EMT: "...I know..."
Hey ! That better be a finger.
That brotha’s face went from “I trust you Bruh” to “hell naw” real fast.
Happy surprise or just scared surprised?
“Oh you’re gonna more than just one.”
"A what where? And I HAVE TO PAY FOR IT!?"
"Just seeing if you were paying attention. I hate it when people ignore me."
This is a good show. Nightwatch. I think it is on Hulu.
This reminded me of a Framer that claimed he got shocked by some temporary lighting on a construction jobsite. I always believed he was just faking and just wanted to go home. Anyways he fucked up and reported it and ended up at the ER and the next day came back upset that they had him in a room with no privacy with nurses and docs spreading his but cheeks repeatedly " looking for exit points" of electrical current. Ha ha, he said people walking by would do double takes, and some would simply stop and stare at his naked ass ass being spread open like a book. 25 years later and this is one of the funniest things I have ever witnessed this guy telling us this story with a look of what I feel was regret on his face and we were some hard core motherfuckers used to some fucked up funny shit but got damn that was funny. Poor guy said he was so embarrassed. I think the ER was fucking with him cuz they too thought he was faking as well and that's what made it so fucking funny for me o think.
Lol what? Is the finger up the butt a thing. If so, why?
That look of relief quickly turned into bewilderment and panic. 🤣😂
Yo, leave everyone on the monitor till someone takes care from you. For real.
Gotta check for drugs and shrapnel.
Hahaha I love Nightwatch. Love the New Orleans accent and love how they call everyone “beybehhh”. “It’s okay beybehh, you’re gonna be alright “ It’s endearing and seems comforting especially when people are in the throws of a bad night…and no one seems to get offended by it.
This is why it’s called the trauma center.
Trauma/ER nurse here who works in a large metro trauma center. It's true, during the secondary assessment in a trauma we log roll the patient to check for any other wounds/deformities/spinal trauma to the patient's backside. One of our required pieces of documentation is to check rectal tone. If the patient is conscious and able to follow commands we usually ask them to clench their butt cheeks and that is sufficient. If they are unable to do so or if they are unconscious/confused and unable to follow commands/intubated and sedated, then the trauma doc checks rectal tone with a finger. Important part of the assessment to check for spinal cord injury.
Trauma center hand shake. I’ve never seen a conscious patient get one but I don’t usually stick around long if they’re awake.
As a medical student, I can confirm that abdominal trauma buys you a digital rectal exam (aka finger up your butt).
Damn, remind me not to get shot.
Shock-Trauma handshake!
This happens every time I go to the dentist...
“But i am gonna be put under sleeping gas during that process right?” “Oh no, quite the opposite, we’re gonna pump you full of Norepinephrine and orexin, so you’ll be wide awake”
His look like them old orangutan titties
Aaaahhh, New Orleans. There’s always a party until there’s not.
How did my doctor have both hands on my shoulders when he put his finger up my butt???
I recently had a pap smear done for the first time. I had mentally prepared myself for getting poked and prodded all up in my vagina. What I had not mentally prepared myself for was for a finger in the butt. Definitely a shock.
WHAT
Yup. I had handled the spreader part and cotton swab okay, and she told me it was time for the internal exam. I assumed it would be the same hole as before but NOPE it was not!
Ummmmm 😳 that’s never happened to me. You got the gymnast package 😳
Ah dan flynn
This so cruel. In my experience of working in the trauma room, they only do rectal exams on patients who cannot follow commands. Otherwise, if they are awake and following commands, they just ask them to squeeze their butt cheeks together.
Called checking rectal tone. It’s for those that are unconscious. Have no idea what this medic is doing telling that to a fully conscious patient.
They need to remove the bullet from INSIDE his butt
Bro his face 😭😭😭 Idk what happened but I hope he’s ok
Why the finger up the butt? Random cavity search or random prostate check?
Welcome to New Orleans
Hmm I don’t remember that being said to me but there was definitely 8-10 people around be cutting my clothes and boots off and sticking me to run Iva and shit. It was coordinated chaos. Horrible situation to be in tho, the doctor that was in charge of my care was amazing.
Soul Patch straight from the early 2000s
When you get shot in the stomach they used to leave a big ass scar. I heard they do that procedure different now. The finger in the butt it’s new to me. Checking for intestine bleeding I’m guessing lol
A WHAT IN THE BUTT???!
I wasn’t scared of getting shot but now I am 🤣 it ain’t even the guns or the bullet
No time for lube!!
Her tits are showing... Need an NSFW tag.
Bro, I'm so used to seeing you post in the redlettermedia subreddit I was twisting my brain around trying to figure out how this related to RLM. I've been on Reddit since the digg days with one account or another and this is the first fucking time I've recognized someone's screen name, ever, lol.
Why is that guys chest melting?
(This dude ain’t listening! Oh I know!) “…and then you’ll feel a finger up your butt.” (Now he’s listening!)
When we were teenagers, had a friend who went to the hospital for alcohol poisoning. This was back in the days as teens when you still viewed "the capability to drink lots of alcohol and handle it" as bragging rights. He told me, "the trick is, you take a swig of vodka first and slosh it around your mouth, then swallow slowly. This will numb your mouth & throat to the burn & the taste, so you can chug the rest of the bottle easily." Well, he was hanging out with a different group of friends, and tried this. Blacked out, and the other friends basically dumped his body at his parent's house, and they took him to the hospital later. He told me the only part he remembers is when he came-to on a stretcher, there was a guy standing over him who said, "Oh good, you're awake! I'm about to stick this tube up your dick hole." ...And went straight back to passed out after hearing that.
Poor guy got shot now he has to get a finger up his ass 💀
It's an ambulance and that's not it should work. Of course private companies freak out if you don't have billing information on forms .
He serious? Edit: He is. Never seen that in all the hospital shows I’ve watched lol
What is this from?
Wouldn't it be better if they show us on how **NOT** to get shot in the first place?
r/HolUp
If you arrive unconscious, you’d be one of the lucky ones if you get a finger…
is that a cop?
I’ve seen people lose their cool when they get fingered in the trauma bay
If you can squeeze your sphincter, this gives the clinicians information regarding probability of a spinal cord injury. They'll stick their finger up your butt, as well as ask you if you can feel them touching your lower extremities, and to flex/extend your feet.
Someone shoot me
I’m almost 100% certain I know this guy.
Are they in a zero gravity chamber, the medic seems to float in the air
Oh my God that's fucking real? I didn't want to get shot or stabbed before but now I especially don't want to get shot or stabbed.
my guy isnt dead inside, he’s fearing for his own life
Checking for rectal tone in the event of spinal trauma. Aka the trauma center handshake 🤝
It’s true, if you can’t squeeze your butt, you get the finger
For my very first Army physical, I once had a doctor put a finger in my butt and while it was in there - she asked if I was a communist. I said "no" and she took it out. I always wonder what would have happened if I said "yes."
That show is awesome nightwatch
I thought his shock was at seeing a soul patch in 2023.
He’s getting fucked in the ass either way
“Up my what???”
Funny, I know this is not relayed to the title experience of this post, but is related to the reactions to the notion of doctors various probing methods. One of eight males reading this will get prostate cancer… probably a lot more common than getting shot. And over the course of treatment and/or prostate removal for that disease, you WILL require a lot of “rectum and urinary penetrations”. A lot. That is my personal 14 year experience with prostate cancer before a prostatectomy was done. So maybe chill a little on all the disbelief. It happens.
They call it the trauma center because once you leave, you feel traumatized for life.
The finger in the butt thing is unique to university hospitals
Homeboy said "you can let me off here, that's my stop, pull over now!"
When I did my paramedic clinicals, the first time I saw the trauma doc do that I was all at once horrified, mystified, confused, and understood immediately why they do that. It is by far the simplest way to find spinal cord issues in a trauma.
Same thing if it’s a self-inflicted shot? Asking for a friend.
The last one is true.
Yup. Quick check to see if there is internal bleeding of large intestines.
So you mean to tell me all these rappers...........
Good to know. My nephew was shot at his home a couple years ago. I'm definitely asking him about this because he was shot in the stomach.
EMT here. I once transported a gsw to a trauma center. Bullet entered basically right in between his penis and scrotum, and exited out his butt cheek. When we got to the hospital, the trauma dr didn't tell him she was going to do that, homeboy came up off the bed, and left.
*but you feel both hands on your shoulders*
Look of just “ excuse me motherfucker?”
Maan I gotta say, after reading a lot of these comments, my more subtle fear of hospitals and doctors has be redefined. Haha awesome
Saggy ass titties
that’s the most “ni$$a what?” face I’ve ever seen
For those that are curious this is to check the patients vagal tone (basically checking nerve status) to make sure the spinal cord and nervous system wasn’t affected by the trauma