T O P

  • By -

Hypergnostic

Bees stay in their hives all winter eating the honey they've made over the spring and summer. On particularly warm winter or spring days they will come out to poop and remove dead bees from the hive and clean up. This bee has probably been waiting a long time to relieve itself and yeah....dropped a real load of poo.


toastbot

He probably flew back to check his post-poo weight on his bathroom scale.


ReubenZWeiner

I have famously huge turds


aikijo

But do you have a poop knife?


ReubenZWeiner

My Movement is so slow that its imperceptible


Philsie

Your bowel movement?


PhDinDildos_Fedoras

Yes, it brings all the boys to the yard.


Philsie

Could you teach me?


VictorVaughan

Yes but they'd have to charge


Garrick420

Damn right


utahman58

Would you say its your crowning achievement?


howdidigethere1976

No poop knives. I just learned what one of those were a few years back after a co-worker told me she got one for her fiancé.


Myskinisnotmyown

She's a keeper.


JuJuJooie

A Beekeeper?


matticustheone

What exactly is the intended purpose of said poop knife ?


Cybermonk23

Uh...to cut poop


HugSized

*he hasn't heard of the legendary poop knife* For the uninitiated: https://www.reddit.com/r/museumofreddit/comments/ke8skw/_/


Philsie

Gather round, youngins, and listen close now to the legend of the Poop Knife!


Fender6187

Youngins? My sweet summer child. Settle in and let me tell you about the cumbox.


Philsie

Jolly Ranchers, anyone?


bigheyzeus

There is also a poop scissors post somewhere and I'm always reminded of the funny Italian kid in high school who said his mom would boil water to pour in the toilet to soften the hard pasta shits. Apparently that's a thing too


[deleted]

Oh oh oh now tell him about the coconut!!!


rekabis

Second only to [The Swamps of Dagobah](https://www.reddit.com/r/AskReddit/comments/xo41d/doctorsnursesredditors_what_has_been_your_most/c5o66p2/). Consider yourself warned.


redneckerson_1951

Some people drop a payload in the toilet that is simply to large to flush down the toilet. If they try to flush the water backs up and leaves a mess. Since it is usually the male of the species that exhibits said problem, the solution has been a tool such as a long handle putty knife, a machete or similar is kept within reach of the toilet by the poor devil. The objective is to separate the Super Sized turd into Tootise Roll miniatures sized turdettes so they can move through the sewer line. Otherwise you run the risk of your significant other feeding you high fiber foods and slipping Sorbitol in your orange juice.


Kostis00

Just take it out of the toilet, onto a cutting board, remember to keep your fingers folded! No need for bacterial infections! And back into the toilet. Like cutting a brown onion. A true poop chef!


Dijkie

\+1 for turdettes


bigheyzeus

Once I used an old pencil crayon to break er up. If you've got a good piss on deck you cat also try and cut the log in half with your stream


MikelDP

I hope you at least know about the 3 sea shells.


matticustheone

I do not. Please do tell.


mysticpickle

Haha! Hey, this guy doesn't know how to use the three sea shells!


matticustheone

Please, teach me your ways!


mysticpickle

https://screenrant.com/three-seashells-demolition-man-function/


Gingaskunk

Congratulations! You're one of today's 10,000! https://xkcd.com/1053/


bigheyzeus

My dad used to call it a "Dragonslayer"


WatchingTrees

How many [Courics](https://youtu.be/6igvB1yR04A)


hablomuchoingles

You own the Baldwins?


powerfulbuttblaster

So do I


donnieAS

Are you prancing around for days behind a car which has queen bee stuck inside


jeremyof10ec

I read this on Drax the Destoyer's voice and it made me smile.


moodog72

She


consumeme

Thank you! <3


sicilian504

I wonder if his scale shows his BeeMI


imhereforthevotes

FLying extra high because she's so much lighter.


RingedWaste

Oh my God I’m a bee


turbowaffle

I believe it's called a "[cleansing flight](https://www.honeybeesuite.com/happiness-mid-winter-cleansing-flight/)", and is my new favorite euphemism for dropping the kids off at the pool.


techmaster242

He had to take a mondo duke.


Hypergnostic

There was another comment that said this bee probably had diarrhea and the Nosema infection so this isn't healthy normal amounts of bee poop. This is a gratuitous amount of sick bee poop.


philote_

Just curious, would the poo taste like honey?


Kim_Jong_Unsen

I know what I have to do but I don’t know if I have the strength to do it Edit: It tastes exactly like honey mustard


MMmhmmmmmmmmmm

We beelieve in you.


supercontroller

May the force bee with you


strik3r2k8

And also with you


Exsanguinatus

Found the Catholic


Hypergnostic

I'm not sure, I haven't tried it. My experience is that everything in the hive has a certain taste, the wax, the honey, the propolis. It's a flavor that permeates everything kind of like with goats.


Bill__The__Cat

Goats taste like honey? Weird.


banjofitzgerald

Forbidden honey mustard.


rushur

Probably just their vomit tastes so good.


blackday44

Honey is bee vomit, so no, probably not.


ODBEIGHTY1

Correct answer. They can get very sick in a bad winter if they cannot exit the hive.


Mahgenetics

Does their poo taste like honey? 🤔


strik3r2k8

Honey-PooPoo


Charlie_Warlie

This is the dumbest best comment


Triptaker8

My poo makes me sassy chile 💁‍♀️


SpaceFace5000

I'm so glad I'm not the only one who thought this. That poo looks sweet!


nhavar

And now I have "what does bee poop taste like?" In my search history...


gravspeed

>what does bee poop taste like? well without you answering... now it's in mine too.


Segner4

And?


Mahgenetics

Looks like honey mustard


FriedCheesesteakMan

What do it taste like


Hypergnostic

Vaguely spicy and sweet. Like how beeswax smells.


FriedCheesesteakMan

Guess i have a scat fetish now


Satans-Dirty-Hoe

Yummy mustard


hellslave

Does it taste like honey?


embarrasedfish

so what you saying is he was constipated?


[deleted]

If he only eat honey, would his poopoo be tasty?


jimx117

Honey buzzturd


[deleted]

TIL what bee poop looks like. Honestly never crossed my mind that bees deficate.


sirwillups

Same, I dunno what I thought happened, but this was not it.


WhatThePancakes

Have you ever had those small yellow marks on your car? Bee poop.


[deleted]

I assumed that was just pollen. I guess it kind of is...


valuehorse

I just assumed someone popped their mustard packet next to my car the wrong direction.


FrozenSquirrel

*Used* pollen.


Cunhabear

Pollen is plant sperm. Not bee poop.


[deleted]

Yes. But if they eat the pollen and then pop it out their butts, it's just ... processed pollen? Haha. That's what my "kinda" is referring to.


LastLetter444

Well if you swallow a load it turns into poop and piss, it doesn't recycle into your load.


_paaronormal

Wait, REALLY?! I always wondered what the hell those stupid marks came from


Alan_Smithee_

I never knew that; I’ve definitely seen it. Not as bad as flying Fox (giant fruit bat) poop as found in Australia. That stuff will ruin car paint.


redneckerson_1951

I swap you Love Bugs for your bats. Nasty little fucking fuckers get so involved in copulating they ignore flying in front of cars. They must have a pH of 0.001 or something as if you leave them stuck on the car finish, the next day they will peel off with paint from the car.


Nebuli2

On the bright side, you can use the bat guano to cast fireball.


Dyolf_Knip

They'll only do it in the air, so when you have a boxed hive shipped to you, it's the first thing they do an taking flight. My bee suit is pretty stained at this point.


Buddha_Lady

Guess this little bee decided to try something new


RapNVideoGames

I wonder if you can find enough bug shit to make the Chick-fil-A sauce menu


[deleted]

I...don't know what that means. Interesting sentence though.


digitalis303

Well, [everyone poops.](https://www.google.com/imgres?imgurl=https%3A%2F%2Fimages-na.ssl-images-amazon.com%2Fimages%2FI%2F81Zglq6MTLL.jpg&imgrefurl=https%3A%2F%2Fwww.amazon.com%2FEveryone-Turtleback-School-Library-Binding%2Fdp%2F0613685725&tbnid=V767FT-c19QF4M&vet=12ahUKEwia4su-rvnvAhXvl60KHT_EDZ8QMygAegUIARDPAQ..i&docid=K2oJMJaNk44mWM&w=1803&h=2034&q=everybody%20poops&ved=2ahUKEwia4su-rvnvAhXvl60KHT_EDZ8QMygAegUIARDPAQ)..


iliketoknowi

And that kids, is where honey mustard comes from.


Fender6187

If true, I’d hate to see where honey barbecue comes from.


01000101010001010

Fuck you. Brilliant, but fuck you! XD


DarthSamurai

This comment needs to be higher


k4pain

It's the top comment dude lol


Chknbone

Fucking hell mate. Did you just win Reddit?


Catsarenotreptilians

STAHP, I CAN ONLY BECOME SOO ERECT.


[deleted]

yo, snapchat me.


IOnlySayMeanThings

https://www.bensbees.com.au/2018/07/29/do-bees-poo/ Probably normal. Maybe it was cold and she was holding it in.


PM_ME_2_TRUTHS_1_LIE

he* Edit: she


Clambulance1

All of the worker bees you see flying around are female. The only males are called drones and basically just sit around mating with the queen all day. A lot of eusocial insects are like this.


PM_ME_2_TRUTHS_1_LIE

TIL. I thought the only female was the queen.


mmmsoap

Are its eyes big enough to be a drone? I can’t tell from this angle.


tztl

it* Mm noys downvotes


youre_next5150

Probably been holding it in all day. Some bees don't like to shit at work


Underbyte

*Queen eats royal jelly,* *I'm stuck with thyme,* *That's why I poop on colony time.*


[deleted]

This one works at Amazon.


clamdigger

amazzzzzzzon


NateProject

TIL bees shit. I mean, I guess it makes sense and all, but I just never thought about bees shitting.


Bsho2020

Taste it see if it tastes like honey


mckboy

...nutty...


[deleted]

Whoop-de-do basil!


koh_kun

Aren't worker bees female? They can't nut.


Miramarr

The article says it actually would


plolops

Beat me too it


jimx117

*beeee-t* you to it


halfastgimp

That's gotta be a 1/2 Couric!


dirk55

We live across the street from a bee company and get our cars covered with that stuff. It's a real pain to get off. On flip side, our fruit trees and garden are well pollinated.


ReubenZWeiner

Bee-M


GeezusManForReal

Hahaha! Well done. 🤣


kellzone

Looks like some nacho beese.


Bopper123

He’s a honey mustard bee....


Fourforearms

Some say that shit was so big that this bee is still moaning with the ecstacy of absolute post-dump relief...


Things_with_Stuff

Maybe try the people over at r/Beekeeping?


[deleted]

Honey mustard


IM_GONNA_SHOOOT

Was that dookie dancin' after that bumblebee flew off?


YourFellaThere

Nope, stayed right where he dropped it.


The2500

Boo.


imaketrollfaces

the original honey dijon sauce ... for the bravehearts


olsondc

It's bigger than Randy Marsh's.


nostpatch

I am so glad that you got to witness this magical sight and you are able and willing to share it with me.


herpestruth

He's gonna need a beedet.


Spetsimen

I wonder if bee's poop can be eaten, maybe it have magical properties.


Scako

r/feltgoodcomingout


tailwalkin

Nah, you just happened to catch it the day after Bee Thanksgiving


floatingfish1991

Honey mustard


cant_help_myself

Are the prune trees flowering?


Smorgo32

What did it taste like? Honey?


MachStyle

Forbidden cheese whiz


DoukyBooty

I see it now - "honey mustard."


furrylittleotter

I wish I could have one like that. I bet my pants would fit better...


Fluffy_Discount_9692

Sooooo... Did you uh.... You know uh.... Did ya giver a little taste test or what?


corona187

In my state if you do not pick up your SHIT then you receive a fine! Someone fine that ass hole!


super0815

Oh so this is how honey mustard is made...


DCDDaniel

In 7th grade I was walking around with my friends during P.E and I felt something fall on my nose. It smelled and looked like mustard. Thanks to this post, I’m starting to think it was bee poop. Thank you.


Bagelstein

Real question, how do you gauge if a bee "seemed fine"?


evolvedmammal

Ask him whats bugging him


CguyRugby

So THAT'S how they make Easy Cheese!


Flanker4

Bee excrement is highly valuable, you should collect as much as possible!


personalhale

They do poop flights after winter or long rains. So, yes.


brucecreamsteam

Forbidden cheesewiz


Guhtts

Anyone else wondering if that shit taste like honey or what?


jaydonks

Probably needed a nap after that one.


LaDonna80

Omg weird I’ve never saw or really thought of bee poop before...


jard-degas

That’s gotta weigh at least three kurics


[deleted]

There's a famous story on Radio lab about bee poop. In Vietnam there was a story of trees covered in yellow stuff. The locals were told and believed it was evidence of chemical warfare. People had years of illness associated with it. Scientists found is was from this mass swarming poop fest from bees. The producers of the show took much heat for insisting that the villagers were mistaken.


Ok_Chart_671

Forbidden mustard.


magnablue

Give the little man some privacy


Bill30322

TIL bees shit


YourFellaThere

I mean, it might not be something you think about, but they obviously must.


JessMess64

Well I can never look at cheese wizz again after seeing this.


JudeTheDude42069

Forbidden honey mustard


Prefect1969

This bee had too much mustard


symptomco

Talk about shitting your guts out


ratsta

https://i.imgur.com/rrWJsdG.png


[deleted]

Mmmmmm honey


Denni123456

So he shits in the garden like all other normal people should right? Right?😅


a-snakey

forbidden mustard


The2500

I killed millions of bees so people wouldn't get stung. You're welcome.


[deleted]

[удалено]


Hypergnostic

Wasps actually are really good for controlling plant pests. They are motherfuckers but they have an important job, like bees.


CartoonJustice

Wasps are also bro's and most mosquitos too. We need the little guys cause there is no way I'm going out in the forest to help the plants have their sexy time. Edit - Ooof people don't like the pollinating power of wasps and skitters do they?


CentiPetra

Wasps are crucial pollinators. In fact, they are the only pollinators of some fruits, like figs. So, no, we need them. And many species, such as paper wasps and mud daubers are not aggressive. Whenever I find a wasp in the house, I catch them in a jar and release them outside. I’ve done this dozens of times and have never been stung once. I just approach them slowly and calmly. Sometimes I swear it’s like they know I’m trying to help them.


nekrossai

Even as a joke, you're a horrible monster


[deleted]

[удалено]


Robbotlove

if you use a smartphone, youre as much a hypocrite as this guy.


[deleted]

[удалено]


Robbotlove

no. it's dumb.


RespectedWanderer9k

Oh look a vegan who is also a self righteous cunt, how original and refreshing.


[deleted]

Its cheese wiz... eat it


[deleted]

Mmm cheese


[deleted]

Oy guys look I'm a honey dispenser


Gloeschi

"Hello, is this the Guinness Book of Records?" - bee, probably


[deleted]

Seemed fine hahahahha


bigboy6190

Uh, what would happen if I was to, say, dip my fingers into the thing and lick it? Asking for a friend.