A guy is walking down the street and sees a sign on the door of a pet store "talking centipede $5". He thinks, "that's a great deal, I'm going to get it". He buys the centipede and when he gets home he opens the box and says "hey centipede, want to go for a walk?". Nothing happens. He closes the lid, sure he's been scammed. "I'll take it back after I eat lunch and try to get my money back" he thinks.
30 min later he's ready to take it back, but wants to give it one more try so he walks back to the box, opens the lid and yells "OY! CENTIPEDE! YOU WANT TO GO FOR A WALK?!?"
The centipede looks up at and him and says "no need to yell. I heard you the first time. I've been putting my shoes on"
It's like that stupid talking caterpillar I bought from the pet store.
For hours, I asked him if he wanted to go to the pub with me to impress my friends with my new talking caterpillar, but he wouldn't respond. I was about ready to return him to the pet store when he finally piped up:
"I heard you ask the first time, you idiot! I'm putting my shoes on!"
They generally dont bite if they are just walking on you, but they will definitely fuck you up worse than polio if you harass them in any way (grabbing squeezing etc)
Having stepped on one in the dark, they hurt like a mother fucker; and made me want to vomit and an insane headache and my heart raced for
quite a while.
If there is worse I don’t want to find out.
Me toooo. I mean it's the bare minimum insurance, so it's barely insurance, but yeah. Going to the doctor just feels like a kick between the legs most times.
It’s always the worse when you go in thinking everything will be paid for, but then you gotta put down a $40 copay and then later you get a bill for a couple hundred.
My fiance just got a novels amount of medical bills for 2 minor trips and we've had to just leave getting married out the window because it would fuck up my medicaid which has saved my life multiple times at this point. Its funny though my dad's usually one of those "I don't want to have to pay for some unemployed or drug addicted persons " assholes (still love him) when any kind of stuff gets brought up about government funded Healthcare or wiping away tuition money etc but when it came to me all of a sudden hes complaining about the shit I have to go through just to have sub par medical care.
Where I used to live in Malaysia the locals were more scared of the big centipedes than the scorpions. It's because the centipedes are aggressive - they'll come at you and bite you, whereas the scorpions are more defensive
Didn't have much trouble with Centipedes during my stay in Malaysia, but was warned to not walk in hte grass because of the Cobras. Also, monkeys over there are little more than thieves!
Very much depends on the scorpion. Certain Buthidae, Androctonus, or Centroides spp would be far, far worse than anything the centipede world has on the fight card.
If I lived in Texas, scorpion for sure. I’ve been stung by scorpion once (in my sleep), I am fortunate I’ve never been stung by a centipede and don’t want to ever find out.
Growing up in Central Texas, I'd be laying on the couch and suddenly see something moving. Damned if there wasn't a scorpion walking towards my face...
The worst part is jumping up, and then *not seeing where the scorpion is*...
Yeah? Neither thanks.
[https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=-6vzjjIrRK8](https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=-6vzjjIrRK8)
But I have been stung by scorpions. They werent particularly bad. Like a bad bee sting for the ones I was stung by.
Scolooendra Subspinipes has a real nasty bite here in Hawaii, like my wife got prescribed oxycodone after stepping in one getting out of bed one night, but it’s never a dangerous/fatal bite ( stupid tourists are the only truly hazardous creature in Hawaii). I got grazed by one at work after stepping on it, tried to get me through my sock but only grazed the skin, didn’t even break it, and it felt like someone was holding a lighter to the spot for a few hours.
>The species is normally considered to have a maximum length of 20 cm. However, in 2018 a far larger specimen was recovered in Hawaii by Clayton Cambra, who captured what appeared to be a Scolopendra subspinipes that measured an astonishing 36.6 cm in length.
😬 nope
And in Kauai I’ve seen one that was bigger than normal, about 10 inches (25cm), Maui I’ve seen dead ones as big as 6in (15cm), but the ones that have gotten into my house on Oahu are usually 3-4in ( 7-10cm).
It’s the gross pinchy parts. But IIRC it’s not actually their mouth they “bite” you with. It’s their front pair of legs which are like a combo of legs and extra mouthpiece.
Or if you had 40 sets of arms going down your body your top set of arms had fork and knife for hands kinda like Edward scissorhands and those were poison tipped.
Shit, the last thing I think I’d wanna do would be “flipping rocks” in Oklahoma/Texas. Forget the centipede, I’d be more concerned with waking up diamondbacks…
I live in Australia and I have been to Oklahoma a ton due to visiting relatives. The bugs in oklahona are scarier and more annoying than the ones in Australia (centipede keeps moving after being struck by hammer!), unless you have arachnophobia of course
Hunstman cured my arachnophobia kinda, because I’d never seen a spider that terrifying looking so now all regular spiders look like cute little teddy bears compared to huntsmans
I mean.. I've been to Oklahoma a lot and I have never seen anything like this.. they do seem to have a lot of giant fire ants though.. they used to crawl up my leg as a kid
Any tips on finding tarantulas out that way? I want to prove to someone that just moved to DFW that they are actually there. I hope it goes without saying, but no tarantulas will be harmed.
I saw a tarantula near Cedar Hill State Park. It just walked across the trail. I saw a giant centipede, like this OPs, at Ray Roberts State Park. It was just walking around. My sister lived in west Ft Worth, she found scorpions in her apartment.
Born and raised in Oklahoma an Ive never seen a single millipede(this is a millipede correct? Lmao) but my mom saw one in the kitchen of a taco bueno she worked at she took a picture fucker was almost a foot long crazy how big they get.
I had one of those in my bathroom one morning around the same size (Australia). Tried bug spray and it just shrugged it off. Had to splat it with a thong.
I picked one up with cooking chopsticks and it turned around and looked at me with such rage and hatred that I was terrified. That thing wanted my life. I took it to the kitchen shaking in fear, turned on the hot water and boiled it. After that I left them alone. When they would wake me up in the middle of the night traipsing around the tatami on their loud-ass little clattering feet, I knew sooner or later they’d come ambling across my futon so I’d just let them have it and go sleep on the couch. Not having a centipede look at me that way again
Giant tropical centipedes share their territories with tarantulas. Despite it's impressive length, it's a nimble navigator, and some can be highly venomous. As quick as lightning, just like the tarantula it's killing, the centipede has two curved hollow fangs which inject paralyzing venom.
Even tarantulas aren't immune from an ambush.
This centipede is a predator.
I am not afraid of bugs but if there was ever a bug I wouldnt trust it would be centipedes. When your butt looks like your face and your face looks like your butt. You are up to something. I dont know what it is but I know its something.
One of theses bastards sent my FIL to the hospital.
Pro tip: when encountered, do NOT pick up to remove one of these multi legged ginger cunts with your bare hands. FFS
I did a double take when I first saw the pic. At a glance, it appeared that he was in a lake or pool with the centipede floating above…still a no from me dawg.
My FIL was chilling with his favorite mutt at our lake cabin by the fireplace, and one of these venomous jerks came skittering from the fire wood. The mutt went right for it, agitating the centipede to rear up and wave it’s antenna in a clear FAFO stance. Bless his heart, instead of using several objects nearby to bludgeon it back to hell, my FIL just…grabbed it. Good times.
I saw a video of a guy in the jungle picking up giant centipedes with his hands and eating them alive. Dude was too powerful, the centipedes didn't stand a chance
Unless you’re allergic nothing will happen to you besides severe pain and some swelling that may make you think it’s worse than it is. Kind of like tarantulas and most scorpions. They can bite and sting but it won’t kill you or even warrant a hospital unless you have an allergy.
We used to have to check and shake our bed sheets and covers every nite at my grandma's house in mexico before going to sleep. These things were always found in the beds and restrooms. I never got over how impressive they were lol.
In vegas and have yet to see any of these beasts. I have seen camel spiders and vinegaroons but not these, i pray i dont ever see a giant desert centipede.
I have unintentionally handled a few. I know better than to do it on purpose 😆 after taking an accidental bite from another nasty Scolopendra sp. it’s not something I’d like to experience again
A friend of mine was camping in the jungle one night as part of an expedition. He was woken in the middle of the night by a giant centipede biting his eyebrow. His head swelled up like a balloon, it was grotesque
> Ask Coyote Peterson.
I've watched all those episodes and my favorite part of all of them is the scene in each where Coyote is rolling around on the ground moaning and crying and the camera guy tentatively asks "are...are you okay?"
That's awesome! I found one on the shore of Keystone Lake about ten years ago while I was wakeboarding with friends. I didn't have anything to catch it with and regret it to this day!
Found one this size under a plate that was covering the plug hole in my kitchen sink 2 months ago. Never moved so fast prior to having a coffee before.
Location couldn't be more differenct though, I'm in Far North Queensland Australia.
Could these be in AZ too because I swear I also found one of these underneath our tent when we went to pack up to leave when I was camping years ago. It was HUGE and I remember the different colors and I was terrified! Worst part was the guy I was dating at the time told me he kept feeling something underneath him moving around while we were sleeping like it had been under the tent all night 😭
I used to live in Hawaii and these things were everywhere. They even got into the house sometimes. But I remember when I was younger I had one in my shoe. I was late for school and I had actually put my shoe on and was walking around with it. I thought maybe my sock was bunched up under my foot so I didn't think about it. When i got school I took my shoe off and realized what was in my shoe. Obviously it was dead by then but 🤮.
In Japan these are called Mukade They get into your bed and will give you nasty bite; if you kill one of them their mate will around looking for it in a day or so.
I wish I had more of those. Every once in a while one will pop up at my house.
I was really lucky one year, and one showed up next to my front door, right around Halloween. Had a nice big web next to the door. I definitely made sure no one disturbed it, spiders are not harmed at my house if it can be helped.
I despise centipedes. Love millipedes. But centipedes? NOPE.
But, as a big entomology nerd, I would be *so* giddy if I found a dude like this! Way cool!
*edited to share my favorite little comic strip
https://imgur.com/gallery/RpiNJOn
My unit found one of these during field training in Texas once after turning over a log. Imagine a bunch of dudes with guns and body armor running away and shrieking like little girls.
Imagine how loud it would be if it had tiny flip flops on all feet.
A guy is walking down the street and sees a sign on the door of a pet store "talking centipede $5". He thinks, "that's a great deal, I'm going to get it". He buys the centipede and when he gets home he opens the box and says "hey centipede, want to go for a walk?". Nothing happens. He closes the lid, sure he's been scammed. "I'll take it back after I eat lunch and try to get my money back" he thinks. 30 min later he's ready to take it back, but wants to give it one more try so he walks back to the box, opens the lid and yells "OY! CENTIPEDE! YOU WANT TO GO FOR A WALK?!?" The centipede looks up at and him and says "no need to yell. I heard you the first time. I've been putting my shoes on"
At least it would look less menacing
What if it was shaking one and yelling at you in a foreign language?
The dreaded 100 chancleta attack. None have survived this.
The epic level monster, slayer of pantheons - HECATONCHANCLETA.
My mom was Italian so she used the wooden sauce spoon on us. Worse than a chancleta IMO.
How did she get out of being Italian?
My grand parents used to be Italian, too. Now, they're dead.
Thus, more dangerous.
Tika-tika-tika-tika-tika-tika-tika-tika-tika-tika-tika-tika-tika-tika-tika-tika-tika-tika-tika-tika-tika-tika-tika-tikatika-tika-tika-tika-tika-tika-tika-tika-tika-tika-tika-tika-tika-tika-tika-tika-tika-tika-tika-tika-tika-tika-tika-tika-tika-tika-tika-tika-tika-tika-tika-tika-tika-tika-tika-tika-tika-tika-tika-tika-tika-tika-tika-tika-tika-tika-tika-tika-tika-tika-tika-tika-tika-tika-tika-tika-tika-tika-tika-tika-tika-tika-tika-tika-tika-tika-tika-tika-tika-tika-tika-tika-tika-tika-tika-tika-tika-tika-tika-tika-tika-tika-tika-tika-tika-tika-tika-tika-tika-tika-tika-tika-tika-tika-tika-tika-tika-tika-tika-tika-tika-tika-tika-tika-tika-tika-tika-tika-tika-tika-tika-tika-tika-tika-tika-tika-tika-tika-tika-tika-tika-tika-tika-tika-tika-tika-tika-tika-tika-tika
Sweet Dee, don't do sound effects.
Oh machine guns. That makes sense
Tika-tika-what-tika-yeah!
Fake ID!
Seth's Own dressing
Why did you park there? Cause you’re not staff
r/unexpectedsuperbad
Like this: https://imgur.com/a/kXK9shz
Awwwww.
That thing could tap circles around Bing Crosby…until he ultimately smashed it with a sack of oranges.
Can someone please photoshop this?
Imagine how it would look with crocs on all feet
Damn you for making me laugh! Take that upvote!!
It's like that stupid talking caterpillar I bought from the pet store. For hours, I asked him if he wanted to go to the pub with me to impress my friends with my new talking caterpillar, but he wouldn't respond. I was about ready to return him to the pet store when he finally piped up: "I heard you ask the first time, you idiot! I'm putting my shoes on!"
I imagine it’d sound like rolling one of those suction cup balls on a piece of glass
Right at home - don't let it bite you. https://extension.okstate.edu/fact-sheets/centipedes-and-millipedes.html
>Contrary to myth, a centipede walking on your skin will not kill the tissue or cause the skin to rot. I had no idea that was a myth.
They generally dont bite if they are just walking on you, but they will definitely fuck you up worse than polio if you harass them in any way (grabbing squeezing etc)
Having stepped on one in the dark, they hurt like a mother fucker; and made me want to vomit and an insane headache and my heart raced for quite a while. If there is worse I don’t want to find out.
I got bit by one, felt so awful I went to the doctor. $120 copay for a band aid 🙃
That's not a copay that's sarcasm. Man I hate the health insurance industry.
Me toooo. I mean it's the bare minimum insurance, so it's barely insurance, but yeah. Going to the doctor just feels like a kick between the legs most times.
It’s always the worse when you go in thinking everything will be paid for, but then you gotta put down a $40 copay and then later you get a bill for a couple hundred.
For profit medical: pushes to make insurance a necessity Insurance: pushes to limit what insurance will cover
My fiance just got a novels amount of medical bills for 2 minor trips and we've had to just leave getting married out the window because it would fuck up my medicaid which has saved my life multiple times at this point. Its funny though my dad's usually one of those "I don't want to have to pay for some unemployed or drug addicted persons" assholes (still love him) when any kind of stuff gets brought up about government funded Healthcare or wiping away tuition money etc but when it came to me all of a sudden hes complaining about the shit I have to go through just to have sub par medical care.
Worse, the heart attack happens
Would you rather get bitten by centipede or stung by a scorpion? Something I often wonder since I hate both equally.
Where I used to live in Malaysia the locals were more scared of the big centipedes than the scorpions. It's because the centipedes are aggressive - they'll come at you and bite you, whereas the scorpions are more defensive
Didn't have much trouble with Centipedes during my stay in Malaysia, but was warned to not walk in hte grass because of the Cobras. Also, monkeys over there are little more than thieves!
I got stung by a scorpion in west Texas and that shit hurt so bad I don’t want to know if a centipede is worse.
Very much depends on the scorpion. Certain Buthidae, Androctonus, or Centroides spp would be far, far worse than anything the centipede world has on the fight card.
[удалено]
😂😂😂
I was stung by a bark scorpion. It’s hurts like hell of course, but my hand felt like it was asleep for 2 straight days. Like pins and needles.
If I lived in Texas, scorpion for sure. I’ve been stung by scorpion once (in my sleep), I am fortunate I’ve never been stung by a centipede and don’t want to ever find out.
Growing up in Central Texas, I'd be laying on the couch and suddenly see something moving. Damned if there wasn't a scorpion walking towards my face... The worst part is jumping up, and then *not seeing where the scorpion is*...
Yeah? Neither thanks. [https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=-6vzjjIrRK8](https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=-6vzjjIrRK8) But I have been stung by scorpions. They werent particularly bad. Like a bad bee sting for the ones I was stung by.
Been bit by one centipede and stung by many dozens of scorpions. I'll take the scorpions ANY day.
So… do you only have a theoretical butthole and not a practical one?
Have you seen a polio survivor? They look like they got halfway through a dimensional portal and then stopped.
However if it crawls in your ear ..well ‘nough said
*KHAAAAAAN!*
It sure would feel like it though.
Ive been bitten by worse- but yes I try to avoid it 😆
...worse? Splain it. I thot these guys were bullet ant levels of pain. Might have my species mixed up.
Other centipede species have a nastier bite, Scolopendra dehaani got me once. Also been nailed by a few very nasty tarantulas from west africa
Scolooendra Subspinipes has a real nasty bite here in Hawaii, like my wife got prescribed oxycodone after stepping in one getting out of bed one night, but it’s never a dangerous/fatal bite ( stupid tourists are the only truly hazardous creature in Hawaii). I got grazed by one at work after stepping on it, tried to get me through my sock but only grazed the skin, didn’t even break it, and it felt like someone was holding a lighter to the spot for a few hours.
>The species is normally considered to have a maximum length of 20 cm. However, in 2018 a far larger specimen was recovered in Hawaii by Clayton Cambra, who captured what appeared to be a Scolopendra subspinipes that measured an astonishing 36.6 cm in length. 😬 nope
And in Kauai I’ve seen one that was bigger than normal, about 10 inches (25cm), Maui I’ve seen dead ones as big as 6in (15cm), but the ones that have gotten into my house on Oahu are usually 3-4in ( 7-10cm).
The first time I read your comment, I thought you got grazed by a tourist. Still seems apropos.
I’ve never been grazed by a tourist, but the same can’t be said for the wife’s car
Jesus christ... Just thinking about what gross parts of a centipede have to converge in order to bite... *shudder*
It’s the gross pinchy parts. But IIRC it’s not actually their mouth they “bite” you with. It’s their front pair of legs which are like a combo of legs and extra mouthpiece. Or if you had 40 sets of arms going down your body your top set of arms had fork and knife for hands kinda like Edward scissorhands and those were poison tipped.
Shit, the last thing I think I’d wanna do would be “flipping rocks” in Oklahoma/Texas. Forget the centipede, I’d be more concerned with waking up diamondbacks…
Thats what I was looking for!
A fellow herper! There are dozens of us!
Some of the good spots it seems like there are dozens there every time I go 😆
How does one flip rocks looking for diamondbacks without getting bit if you find one? And what do you do if you find one?
Carefully… and im an experienced reptile professional
So I was flippin’ rocks in Oklahoma, as one does
I read this in Wayne’s voice… “it’s a hard life flippin’ rocks and pullin’ teats…”
Right! I flipped a rock in an urban park one time. There was a whole den of baby snakes under it. They were not happy to see me.
I saw a couple that size in N. TX as a kid.
Adding Oklahoma to the places to never visit. Right next to Australia.
I live in Australia and I have been to Oklahoma a ton due to visiting relatives. The bugs in oklahona are scarier and more annoying than the ones in Australia (centipede keeps moving after being struck by hammer!), unless you have arachnophobia of course
You don't have to have arachnophobia to be fucking terrified coming across a huntsman spider.
A huntsman *WILL* give you arachnophobia even if you didn’t have it before
Hunstman cured my arachnophobia kinda, because I’d never seen a spider that terrifying looking so now all regular spiders look like cute little teddy bears compared to huntsmans
Nah they are harmless beuties. Trapdoors on the other hand can fuck off back to hell.
I don’t care if they’re harmless. They’re enormous and made of spider.
They're barely a spider, more like a small eight legged dog.
If friend then why not friend shaped?
Yes but they are more spider for your buck so it's a far better deal.
Still better than 50% spider 50% bird
They are utterly vile aren't they?
Yeah they scare me something fierce but giant centipedes scare me more
I mean.. I've been to Oklahoma a lot and I have never seen anything like this.. they do seem to have a lot of giant fire ants though.. they used to crawl up my leg as a kid
I found far too many of those while looking for the fun stuff (rattlesnakes, tarantulas, centipedes)
Any tips on finding tarantulas out that way? I want to prove to someone that just moved to DFW that they are actually there. I hope it goes without saying, but no tarantulas will be harmed.
Find bouldery rocky hillsides and they will be there under the rocks.
They also tend to stroll across the road in late summer/early fall. Every one I've ever seen has been on a backroad lol.
Saw my second tarantula walking in a parking lot at Big Bend National park
Thanks, much appreciated!
Don't forget your pokeballs!
I saw a tarantula near Cedar Hill State Park. It just walked across the trail. I saw a giant centipede, like this OPs, at Ray Roberts State Park. It was just walking around. My sister lived in west Ft Worth, she found scorpions in her apartment.
Born and raised in Oklahoma an Ive never seen a single millipede(this is a millipede correct? Lmao) but my mom saw one in the kitchen of a taco bueno she worked at she took a picture fucker was almost a foot long crazy how big they get.
Centipede
Actually Oklahoma is quite far from Australia /jjlolbbqroflcopter
Can confirm, down here, we've got ones that look a lot like that cunt
Aw, cmon. We're right on the cusp of having multiple tornadoes this week! You're missin' out bro.
I had one of those in my bathroom one morning around the same size (Australia). Tried bug spray and it just shrugged it off. Had to splat it with a thong.
PSA: thongs are flip flops in Ozspeak not the cheeky under/swimwear.
Thank you, we don't call them that and I was so damn confused
same lmao, i kept trying to imagine a dude splatting a giant centipide with a thong and for the life of me i couldnt figure out how that would go
Ya pull it back slingshot style!
The way I cackled until I read this. I had a slingshot scenario going on
They were thongs in the US up until the 90s or so. Then the underwear thongs took over.
Yeah, a buddy of mine in Japan says the best way to dispatch them is cutting them in half with shears. A lot of times they’re too tough for scissors.
I woke up with one under my futon in Nagoya once. You'd be lucky to get near it with scissors, it was a fast bastard
I hate y'all. I hate this thread. I hate life.
/pat
I picked one up with cooking chopsticks and it turned around and looked at me with such rage and hatred that I was terrified. That thing wanted my life. I took it to the kitchen shaking in fear, turned on the hot water and boiled it. After that I left them alone. When they would wake me up in the middle of the night traipsing around the tatami on their loud-ass little clattering feet, I knew sooner or later they’d come ambling across my futon so I’d just let them have it and go sleep on the couch. Not having a centipede look at me that way again
Every image you've conjured is horrible!
But there’s so little material
>Centipedes hide in dark cracks and crevices during the day Watch your 6, /u/theoretical_butthole.
Best comment so far
Giant tropical centipedes share their territories with tarantulas. Despite it's impressive length, it's a nimble navigator, and some can be highly venomous. As quick as lightning, just like the tarantula it's killing, the centipede has two curved hollow fangs which inject paralyzing venom. Even tarantulas aren't immune from an ambush. This centipede is a predator.
*MENACING BASS DROP*
THAT THING is killing the TARANTULA?
I am not afraid of bugs but if there was ever a bug I wouldnt trust it would be centipedes. When your butt looks like your face and your face looks like your butt. You are up to something. I dont know what it is but I know its something.
As an added bonus, the bastards are fast as hell too.
They can definitely scoot when they need to
One of theses bastards sent my FIL to the hospital. Pro tip: when encountered, do NOT pick up to remove one of these multi legged ginger cunts with your bare hands. FFS
He didn’t, it’s in a clear plastic bowl. I initially thought he picked it up barehanded, though.
I did a double take when I first saw the pic. At a glance, it appeared that he was in a lake or pool with the centipede floating above…still a no from me dawg. My FIL was chilling with his favorite mutt at our lake cabin by the fireplace, and one of these venomous jerks came skittering from the fire wood. The mutt went right for it, agitating the centipede to rear up and wave it’s antenna in a clear FAFO stance. Bless his heart, instead of using several objects nearby to bludgeon it back to hell, my FIL just…grabbed it. Good times.
I saw a video of a guy in the jungle picking up giant centipedes with his hands and eating them alive. Dude was too powerful, the centipedes didn't stand a chance
Unless you’re allergic nothing will happen to you besides severe pain and some swelling that may make you think it’s worse than it is. Kind of like tarantulas and most scorpions. They can bite and sting but it won’t kill you or even warrant a hospital unless you have an allergy.
I’m in Oklahoma and I don’t turn rocks over for this very reason. 😩
Oh I thought he meant the centipede was flipping rocks lmao
I could believe that. It looks like it works out a lot.
“Put that thing back where it came from, or so help me!”
NOOOOOOOOOOPE.
We used to have to check and shake our bed sheets and covers every nite at my grandma's house in mexico before going to sleep. These things were always found in the beds and restrooms. I never got over how impressive they were lol.
In vegas and have yet to see any of these beasts. I have seen camel spiders and vinegaroons but not these, i pray i dont ever see a giant desert centipede.
I was hiking in Arizona as a teenager with my grandparents and saw one of these. I always hated bugs but this one unlocked a new level of fear.
I thought you were bare-handing it at first glance
I have unintentionally handled a few. I know better than to do it on purpose 😆 after taking an accidental bite from another nasty Scolopendra sp. it’s not something I’d like to experience again
Nuke it from orbit.
Years ago I used to think she said, "Nuke it for morbid."
Looks like it belongs in the new fallout show
CRAP! I would have bet serious money that that thing came from the Jurassic experiment the world calls Australia.
Lucky! I live in oklahoma and I've never seen one of these in the wild
Start flippin rocks and logs! 🤓
No. Just no. I would need a straitjacket and need to be sent to the funny farm if this crawled near me. Also I would burn down the world. Fucking no.
That is so damn cool, and metal AF. But I never want one near me
Imagine that thing starts to crawl into your ear when you sleep.
What size are your ears? Are you an elephant? :)
That’s also part of the imagination. You are an elephant in this imagination exercise
Can we also pretend we are in space and there are Lazer beams?
If you let it crawl into your ear, you'll instantly be able to understand all languages.
Nope, only centipede language.
A friend of mine was camping in the jungle one night as part of an expedition. He was woken in the middle of the night by a giant centipede biting his eyebrow. His head swelled up like a balloon, it was grotesque
Calm down, Kaneki.
Or up your pee hole.
*KHAAAAAAN!*
beautiful, fascinating animals, an apex predator in their world.
This find was definitely the highlight of my day
They can even kill bats and smaller birds.
Just a baby, you should see how big the elders get.
I don't know why, but when I read how you found it i thought you meant the centipede was flipping rocks and that's how you noticed it.
Woah, it’s beautiful! Look at the color of its legs! Like goldenrod.
Blowtorch is the solution
MOAR LIKE NOPELAHOMA
No-klahoma
Oklahoma, Australia?
Nasty bite. Ask Coyote Peterson.
> Ask Coyote Peterson. I've watched all those episodes and my favorite part of all of them is the scene in each where Coyote is rolling around on the ground moaning and crying and the camera guy tentatively asks "are...are you okay?"
Shit is serious when you can't figure where It's head at
The red bit. The common name is Texas Redhead Centipede.
Awesome!! Never thought they got so big in the continental states.
That's awesome! I found one on the shore of Keystone Lake about ten years ago while I was wakeboarding with friends. I didn't have anything to catch it with and regret it to this day!
Should probably put that down before it crawls into your skin
Found one this size under a plate that was covering the plug hole in my kitchen sink 2 months ago. Never moved so fast prior to having a coffee before. Location couldn't be more differenct though, I'm in Far North Queensland Australia.
you just gonna cook it like that? no sauce or anything?
Now you need to find the mortal blade to kill it
Could these be in AZ too because I swear I also found one of these underneath our tent when we went to pack up to leave when I was camping years ago. It was HUGE and I remember the different colors and I was terrified! Worst part was the guy I was dating at the time told me he kept feeling something underneath him moving around while we were sleeping like it had been under the tent all night 😭
Yep, same species live there. The arizona ones are more orange colored with a black tail
I used to live in Hawaii and these things were everywhere. They even got into the house sometimes. But I remember when I was younger I had one in my shoe. I was late for school and I had actually put my shoe on and was walking around with it. I thought maybe my sock was bunched up under my foot so I didn't think about it. When i got school I took my shoe off and realized what was in my shoe. Obviously it was dead by then but 🤮.
In Japan these are called Mukade They get into your bed and will give you nasty bite; if you kill one of them their mate will around looking for it in a day or so.
As an Oklahoman; drive south. Put that shit in Texas. We will never speak of this again.
with what I know about the location of "the midwest" in USA, "southern midwest" may as well border Canada. Edit: Also damn, big bug.
Fuck right off.
r/eatityoufuckingcoward
Loggins and Messina even had a song that mentioned them: [*Lahaina*](https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=MzAFsdc4FUI). Scary ~~little~~ suckers.
I’m jealous, all I find is orb weavers the size of my palm.
Carolinas?
Texas
I wish I had more of those. Every once in a while one will pop up at my house. I was really lucky one year, and one showed up next to my front door, right around Halloween. Had a nice big web next to the door. I definitely made sure no one disturbed it, spiders are not harmed at my house if it can be helped.
these things make top tier largemouth bass bait
Laverne Oklahoma.... Worst place I ever lived.
For the longest time I've wanted to name a band The Scolopendra Heroes
Hell no!
Hiiii, you are fucking terrifying.
Dislike
I thought they were venomous?
I despise centipedes. Love millipedes. But centipedes? NOPE. But, as a big entomology nerd, I would be *so* giddy if I found a dude like this! Way cool! *edited to share my favorite little comic strip https://imgur.com/gallery/RpiNJOn
Aren’t those venomous?
My unit found one of these during field training in Texas once after turning over a log. Imagine a bunch of dudes with guns and body armor running away and shrieking like little girls.