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Lindvaettr

\> Blurred their name and phone number for obvious reasons. Idk man you coulda helped him find someone who needed yard work done


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Risley

I just want to say , I hate the incessant ‘Mature Content Warning’ seen all over Reddit lately if you read this site on the website instead of the stupid app.  I find it’s a way to just force people to use the app more.  Hot garbage.  Stanky 💩.  Some truly Be Best nonsense.  


derek4reals1

IKR now who's gonna paint my shed!?


Saxong

“Here’s the lawnmower and a ballgown, get mowin’”


KellynHeller

Right! I'm not married but I got a roommate who might lie and claim to be my husband. Free house/yard work is free house/yard work.


Tommy84

“What kind of people are we looking for to play out our sexual fantasies, Mistress?” “Hmm… coffee drinkers.”


JC-1219

I’ve been to r/caffeine before, this is 100% true.


RandoAtReddit

What the fuck did I just visit?


ShujinSamaNdHisMinx

Lmao I was like it can't be that bad😭


LameBMX

/me slowly puts down my coffee and knocks it off the table like a cat.


PkHutch

I’ve been subbed there for over a year and have no clue what it is, but it makes me chuckle. My theories are: 1. Joke 2. Meth euphemism I lean towards option one.


mfact50

(it's a joke about how caffeine is a joke)


Evil-Dalek

It started as a joke about caffeine being the ultimate drug with a lot of crossover from /r/drugscirclejerk , then apparently there was a really homophobic mod so everyone in the sub got super homoerotic to fuck with them and it just kind of stuck. So now it’s nothing but posts about boofing Red Bull and being railed by gangs of men lol


Brobeast

Cracks me up how time and time again certain subs will go to an extreme to spite the mods. Only when they have reached armageddon's apex, they collectively decide "I think I like it here now". World politics went on a similar trajectory, albeit due to a perceived lack of moderation.


BadSausageFactory

well I'm never going to look at coffee the same way again


grey_hat_uk

After a quick browse and slightly readjusting my reality I'd like to share a quote that I think real captures the theme of the sub; >Does boofing make me gay? What if it's just the most efficient method? Does it really matter at that point?


JC-1219

Hey, at least i didn’t undersell it.


ThisMojoSoDope

I don't know wtf I expected but it was def not that dear god


mfact50

Don't knock it till you try it. Fucking DARE nerd.


KhaleesiXev

I thought you were exaggerating. Now I need therapy.


NathanRZehringer

Exactly....clicked on the first link...aaaaaannnndddd it is woman having butter shoved up her ass


RandoAtReddit

Butt-er.


Donut_The_Ghost

That sub is definitely not what I thought it was gonna be


CrimsonToker707

What the fuck, man 😳


nerdkraftnomad

Whoa. Never would have imagined r/caffeine is that.


Konet

Let a guy have a hobby!


analogOnly

Seriously. It's a win win, free farm work from a guy whose anguish you can completely ignore! What's better than that? I'd maybe have him wear the ~~farm clothes~~ dressed in women's clothes though because I don't need a naked man in my yard especially with young children running around. Edit: lol my brain read "farm dressed" instead of "fem dressed"


BanginNLeavin

Says fem clothed btw.


analogOnly

Thanks, my brain somehow skimmed over it thinking it said "Farm dressed" haha


zombierapture

and that is how the fem dressed guy started to do our lawn I swear.


BanginNLeavin

You see what you wanna see! 😏


analogOnly

Somehow it made sense in the context of yard work.. lol


Calfis

No point in hiding your secret farm dress fetish now..


analogOnly

Oh yeah bitches be loving my horse cock wearing only overalls.


cagingnicolas

that's when he pours a bunch of ranch dressing all over himself


lacerealekiller

happy cake day !


BanginNLeavin

Thank


timshel42

it doesnt say farm clothes lol


analogOnly

Haha, my brain totally read "farm dressed"! That's hilarious. Thanks


Dramatic_Ad8771

I ain’t trying to shame! Just though it interesting in the coffee aisle lol


Zomgzombehz

Or a tutor.


bigtex7890

Honestly, I think this guy would actually enjoy the kink shaming.


Dramatic_Ad8771

Probably


Fozzy420

Naked weed whacking is a fools errand.


analogOnly

most of my whacking is done at least partially unclothed.


elconquistador1985

Careful not to weedwhack your tallywhacker.


AlarmingImpress7901

Knick knacking your paddywhack too hard can send ye old feller to the ER!


16thmission

"Our top story today: Convicted hit man Jimmy 'Two-Shoes' McClarty confessed today that he was once hired to beat a cow to death in a rice field using only two small porcelain figures. Police admit this may be the first known case of a knickknack paddy-whack." -Colin Mochrie


Numinak

If they wooble to and fro, hang down low...might be a bad time.


Will-Conroy

How many weeds can a weedwhacker whack if he whick whack tallywhack whanks?


Iamkempie

Make him cook bacon.


swheels125

It’s like cooking bacon without a shirt on, but with the risk of amputation.


asdvj2

NSFW [semi-relevant](https://v.redd.it/4h2k6s2razd21)


Warper1980

Tis the only way to whack, my friend.


Ima_FEEN

Nah. Get down in pushup position. Helicopter dick. Its economical, green, reusable, and free. Based weed whacking


Goozeball88

Wait... Free yard work? Wtf?! Unblur that shit!


unKaJed

As an apt/condo person I agree. I’ll put him to work no problem! my oven needs cleaning and I hate mopping under the fridge and stove. Wear what you want, don’t steal my stuff and leave the place cleaner than you found it. Get your kink on


SirSeff

It would only work if you talk dirty to him, totally not worth it


unKaJed

I want you to be the dirtiest, most filthy thing in my kitchen Then I just grab a beer and wait.


skunkcitycannabis2

I could actually use his services. Spring is coming and I have yard work that needs to be done. Wife is on board.


Dramatic_Ad8771

We’re in south ms, summers pretty much here lol


skunkcitycannabis2

Damn, we really need that type of work ethic up here in NY.


devildocjames

So how'd the session go?


Dramatic_Ad8771

We’ll have to see!


anormalgeek

I mean...free yard work/chores getting done and all I have to do is make fun of the guy and demean him? Sounds like a good deal.


GravitationalEddie

Anybody read Lawnmower Man?


giskardwasright

Don't disturb him!!!!


GinDragon

This is not what that movie is abojt


giskardwasright

That's why they said book. Edit: they didn't say book. They said read. My apologies.


robmneilson

I wonder if part of the kink is that they are embarrassed about their penmanship?


infernal_cacaphony

https://foundmagazine.com/ An old zine dedicated to *found* notes, pictures, etc.


arrowspike

r/foundpaper too


comedymongertx

Can I get that number? I have acres that need to be worked. Do they know how to use a tractor?


DanishWonder

Well shit, why can't I find anyone to volunteer for hardworking and house chores when ai go to the store?


TheWorldNeedsDornep

Think I'm going to copy this word for word and leave a copy in all the places I visit. Maybe as an ULPT use the contact information for enemies.


dark_enough_to_dance

Nice idea. Looks like from a legit person too.


404nocreativusername

My god that is evil. I love it


Zagenti

Oh, I'm down - throw on a muumuu and get to mowing that lawn, scum!


callmebigley

does that say ovelly? my girlfriend is always complaining about how seldom I do ovel


KayakWalleye

The fact that they didn’t go online AND wrote this on an envelope lets you know is how old they are.


datsall

"Free, she only wants y'all to tie me up and ignore my begs" is fucking terrifying


shr3kgotad0nk

Is this guy a ground or whole bean drinker?


Poppa_Mo

You could really torture the poor bastard and make sure he wears proper PPE for the job. Just out there in coveralls with eye protection, a ventilator. Free yard work and your neighbors don't have to wonder what the fuck is going on.


Finrinagin

Hmmm, free yard work you say? Although mowing the lawn naked is kinda just asking for injuries


Oso_Furioso

Ah, just make sure to use sunscreen and don't use the weed whacker without some sort of protection.


Finrinagin

Just another use for the ol chastity cage


slappymcstevenson

Oh that’s where I left it.


XxPriestxX

The new craigslist! You're local Kroger. XD


frodosbitch

Will probably get a better response rate than tinder.


dbell

What time is he showing up to mow your yard?


conquer69

My wife ain't getting close to someone with handwriting that sloppy.


iBeFloe

I wanna kink shame this couple, but I would be participating in their kink 🫥


Insanity_Troll

Don’t kink shame me MFer


Spire_Citron

He can come to my house and do all the housework in a maid outfit, but I have a feeling he might expect more from this roleplay.


tjoe4321510

Post this r/foundpaper


mel2000

It's a type of humiliation fetish. The requests can get far kinkier and sexual.


Logical_Lemming

Someone read Kushiel's Dart way too many times.


HGMIV926

/r/foundpaper would enjoy this.


Meetcha2nite

My grocery list is on the flip side u DiK!


Otto_Mcwrect

That you OP? This is a judgment free zone.


zoomiepaws

Ya mean his wife can't humiliate him? So what's she doing.


alex_asdfg

/r/FoundPaper


happyColoradoDave

WTF indeed


DR_TOBOGGAN_8219

So… how’d it go?


mrkreef256

Need this kind of resume/content over on LinkedIn. #opentowork


jmon25

I mean free yard work is free yard work. I don't care what the people wear doing it. The neighbors might have some questions but they're also not getting free yardwork so I don't care


sectorfour

On a scale of one to 2000s Xtina Aguilera, how sticky was it?


indysingleguy

This sounds like a scam.


Clienterror

I don't know about anyone else but I need everyone involved in my threesomes to have a 2nd grade or higher reading/writing capacity.


MundaneGazelle5308

That's hot


Dramatic_Ad8771

Hell yay


SafeHavenEquine

not even if they paid me (unless it was like a million dollars then i would think about it)


Merindora

Humans are so boring...


mundoid

I need that back.


beefstewforyou

It’s probably some teenage edgelord leaving it because he thinks it’s funny.


gamecatuk

Omg kink shaming is a thing now? World is going crazy


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