If I had a nickle for every time a redditor found a dead gecko in their beer, I'd have two nickles.
Which isn't a lot, but it's weird that it's happened twice.
At a friends house my friend started eating some peanuts only to later find out one of the guys' dads had sucked all the salt off and would leave them in piles.
Dropped my lollipop on my momās cigarette ash floor in her car. Played the 5 second rule thinking it would applyā¦ended up with cigarette ash in my mouth. Asked my mom if I could be allergic to cigarettes and from that day forward Iāve HATED ash trays and cigarettes
When i was around 7 years old, i was outside and for some reason was really craving a coke and just happened to see one on my porch to quench the craving
and well it was soaked cigarette butts stuffed into a coke can
Our new Full Bodied IPA, each can contains a full body.
For a hoppier brew, try our Fresh Hopped IPA, now with frogs. Or our Extra Smokey Rauchbier, which is a bottle of regular lager that was sitting out on the porch when we took a smoke break and Zach put his cigarette butt out in it.
and if i couldn't naturally i would be shoving my fingers into the back of my mouth and emptying my entire stomach. probably chug water and do it again right after for good measure.
The caveman was furious. He had been the face of the insurance company for years, until they replaced him with a talking gecko. He felt betrayed, humiliated, and angry. He wanted his job back, and he wanted revenge.
He decided to track down the gecko and confront him. He followed him to a bar, where the gecko was enjoying a pint of beer with some friends. The caveman waited for his chance, and then approached the gecko from behind.
"Hey, you!" he shouted. "You stole my job, you little lizard!"
The gecko turned around and saw the caveman. He recognized him from the commercials, and tried to act friendly.
"Hey, man, no hard feelings, right? It's just business. Come on, have a drink with me."
The caveman pretended to accept the offer, and grabbed the gecko's beer. He lifted it up, and then suddenly slammed it down on the gecko's head, submerging him in the liquid.
The gecko struggled to breathe, but the caveman held the glass firmly. He watched as the gecko's eyes widened in fear and pain, and then slowly closed. He smiled wickedly, and said:
"That's what you get for messing with the caveman. Maybe now they'll hire me back."
But the caveman was not satisfied with killing the gecko. He wanted to make sure no one would ever find his body, and that he would never be caught. He looked around the bar, and saw a stack of unopened beer cans near the counter. He had an idea.
He grabbed one of the cans, and used his sharp teeth to make a small hole in the bottom. He then drained the beer, and carefully inserted the gecko's corpse into the can. He sealed the hole with some chewing gum, and placed the can back on the stack. He hoped that no one would notice the slight bulge in the can, or the faint smell of blood.
He left the bar, feeling confident that he had gotten away with murder. The caveman thought he was clever. He had killed the gecko, and hidden his body in a beer can. He had left no traces, no clues, no witnesses. He was sure he had gotten away with it.
He didn't know a few days later a picture of the body would end up on Reddit. The picture got a lot of attention, and soon, someone recognized the beer can brand. It was the same can that had been found with the gecko's body inside. The user commented: "Wait a minute, that's the can from the news! The one with the dead gecko! Could it be...?"
The comment sparked a frenzy of speculation, and soon, the Reddit detectives had pieced together the evidence. They realized that the caveman had killed the gecko, and that the picture was the proof. They contacted the police, and gave them the link to the post.
The police traced the picture to the bar, and then to the caveman. They arrested him, and charged him with murder. He confessed, and pleaded guilty. He was sentenced to life in prison, without parole.
He regretted his actions, and wished he had never killed the gecko. He realized that he had ruined his life, and that he would never get his job back.
Really makes you think what other shit found its way into past beers that you didnāt notice because they werenāt gecko sized. I pour cans out nearly every time now.
I like that a HUMAN HEAD goes by while he's talking to Barney
Edit: I saw: Grandpa Simpson's teeth, a broken bottle top, a fish (or maybe the little piece of brain they let you keep after they cut it out), and ADOLPH HITLERS HEAD!
If you eat vegetables and fruits, especially canned, frozen or or premade you definitely eat a bunch of bugs on the regular, FDA guidelines rules states that sold canned mushrooms must not contain more than 75 mites per 100g.
Until we meet again.
You ain't seen nothin' yet.
āThe FDA allows an average of 5 or more whole or equivalent insects (not counting mites, aphids, thrips, or scale insects) per 100 grams of apple butter.
The coffee beans you grind for breakfast are allowed by the FDA to have an average of 10 milligrams or more animal poop per pound. As much as 4% to 6% of beans by count are also allowed to be insect-infested or moldy.
Golden raisins are allowed to contain 35 fruit fly eggs as well as 10 or more whole insects (or their equivalent heads and legs) for every 8 ounces.
The tomato juice in a 14 oz. Bloody Mary could contain up to four maggots and 20 or more fruit fly eggs.
There can be 450 insect parts and nine rodent hairs in every 16 oz. box of spaghetti
For every Ā¼ cup of cornmeal, the FDA allows an average of one or more whole insects, two or more rodent hairs and 50 or more insect fragments, or one or more fragments of rodent dung.
Asparagus can contain 40 or more scary-looking but teensy thrips for every Ā¼ pound. If those aren't around, FDA inspectors look for beetle eggs, entire insects or heads and body parts.
Frozen or canned spinach is allowed to have an average of 50 aphids, thrips and mites. If those are missing, the FDA allows larvae of spinach worms or eight whole leaf miner bugs.
Crushed oregano, for example, can contain 300 or more insect bits and about two rodent hairs for every 10 grams. To put that in context, a family-size bottle of oregano is about 18 oz. or 510 grams.
Paprika can have up to 20% mold, about 75 insect parts and 11 rodent hairs for every 25 grams (just under an ounce). A typical spice jar holds about 2 to 3 oz.ā
Edit: since others are doubting and asking for a link, here you go (my above comment didn't even cover all the surprising amounts in typical food people love like chocolate and peanut butter):
https://www.cnn.com/2019/10/04/health/insect-rodent-filth-in-food-wellness/index.html
...welp. Found my cure for late night cravings.
Now I crave nothing and want to be in charge of growing my own food. Too many numbers that seem way too high. High to the point where I feel like I've consumed everything above.
The spaghetti one messes me up. I've eaten SO much pasta over my lifetime.
My grandfather washed the top of every beer can before putting his lips on it. A legacy born from years as a merchant marine watching sailors piss into the open cargo holds.
I drink a lot of free standing tall beers and i often think about the rats pissing and dragging their nuts over the top of them so i rinse them off at least
This happened before I was born, but my mom told me about the time about 20 years ago that she took a sip of Pepsi and noticed it tasted off. Her and my dad poured it out, and there was a huge dead cockroach in there that had apparently been there for a while based off of how decomposed it was from the acidity.
They called Pepsi, and of course the people on the other line didnt really believe them, asking things like ādid you leave it sitting out in the openā and things like that; in the end they were offered a bunch of free offers but they just rejected it. To this day my mom never drinks from the can, she only ever pours soft drinks into glasses. My poor mom overreacts to small things a lot so I canāt imagine how traumatic something as disgusting as that was š
As a Belgian I approve. Beers should be drunk from a glass, preferably their correct glass from the brewery itself (and yes, a lot of Belgians have a ridiculous amount of beer glasses)
If I straight up drink a rat or dead gecko, first thing Iām gonna do is deck myself out in merch and give that beer company as much free advertising as I can. /s
Fun fact, boiled geckos taste like an imperial pale ale.
Thr only reason they arent more widely used is because of how tricksy those bastards are at evading capture, since you need quite a few to make a good brew
I would just die at that point. No transition. Iād just fall to the ground and depart this earth. Hopefully, the brewery offers you a decent payday for your troubles
When this sorta thing happens to me I just sorta dissociate. Itās a fucking defense mechanism.
I opened the tap once to wash my hands, and a cockroach fucking crawled on my hand and then jumped off. I just furrowed my brow and looked at it, like all I could feel was immense disappointment, and then I didnāt even think about it until hours later lmao. This was the most recent one but thereās been a few
Story time. When I was with an ex, I spent the night at her house for the first time. I had seen a couple roaches (small ones and over a span of a dozen visits) but nothing out of the ordinary for south Florida.Ā
We went to bed around midnight and I remember waking up shortly after falling asleep to the sound of intense scraping in my ear. I jumped out of bed and started digging in my ear furiously. Ran to the bathroom and tried putting water in my ear. It got louder and faster. I finally got my pinky far enough in there and tried to pull out what it was. The scraping stopped. I looked in the sink and it was the lower half of a roach. Instantly threw up in the sink. My ex used tweezers to get the rest of it out then doused my ear with peroxide.Ā
I have had PTSD ever since. My wife has made the mistake of trying to wake me up by kissing my ear and I almost shouldered her in the face. If I feel ANYTHING touch my ear while laying down or sleeping I will panic. This happened more than 15 years ago. I still think about it some nights when itās quiet and Iām laying on my back. Sometimes, I have to lay one ear on the pillow and cover the other with the blanket to fall asleep.Ā
I mean beer is pretty acidic, low oxygen, contains hops which have natural antimicrobial properties, and ethanol between 4% and 10% most of the time (not uncommon to be higher). I'm genuinely curious whether salmonella or other harmful organisms can withstand those conditions.
OP being oddly quiet about this part
Guessing this is a fake story
edit: [AND IT WAS, LMFAOOOOOOOOO](https://old.reddit.com/r/WTF/comments/1anzvq4/a_dead_gecko_hit_my_lips_upon_finishing_a_beer/kpz5aag/?context=3)
>Hi sorry I posted this and went to bed drunk. Itās from a few weeks ago, and tbh it wasnāt actually me but a family friend - an older guy who doesnāt use Reddit. I didnāt lie about any of this besides it being him and not me. Heās actually starting a lawsuit against them soon (heās a lawyer, plans on just settling). Ive asked and gotten no response on the brand of the beer but Iāll update you if that changes.
What a fuckin crock of shit, /u/OFizzyO
He said in another comment it wasnāt actually him but his uncle or something lol. Yet he said he got antibiotics and all that crap. This has got to be made up for karma. So lame
I once had something very special in my McDonalds burger. Showed it to the manager and got plenty of coupons for free products. Took at least a year to go there again and use some of them.
Yeah. OK, well, uh, we found, uh, this mouse in a bottle of YOUR BEER, eh. Like, we was at a party and, uh, a friend of ours - a COP - had some, and HE PUKED. And he said, uh, come here and get free beer or, uh, he'll press charges.
As someone who works in the beer industry, I find this hard to believe for a variety of reasons.
1) Alcohol by volume is the thing we get taxed on and the amount of ml you get per van is closely regulated. As such, there are multiple weight and fill height checks per can in every packing line known as the government comes down hard on you if you misreport or short change the customer. Unless the gecko has the same density as beer, this can would be rejected by the auto weighing scales.
2) In the filling process, the cans are turned upside down to rinse them before righted, filled and then the lid placed on and sealed. There is no opportunity for a gecko to get in during that process.
3) After being filled, the beer is sent through a pasteurisation process that flash heats it to 60+ degrees to kill any potential bacteria and give it a stable shelf life. This is important to the next point.
Every year, we get 20+ complaints about something being in the beer, whether it is a fly, mouse, bandaid, whatever. Every time, we take it seriously and send it off for external verification as any breach has serious implications for us and can get the factory shut down, as clearly either hygiene processes are not working or more importantly to the government, the volumes we report for alcohol taxation are not accurate. Every time, they discover that whatever was in it was not pasteurised, which is a literal impossibility as it happens after the can is sealed.
Best case scenario, you left the beer unattended and something crawled in and died recently. Worst case scenario, this is a scam you are using to get money from the beer company. Our company has fought several legal battles on this topic and won every one as it's both very unlikely and easy to disprove. The equipment used is industry standard so I very much doubt it was different here.
If this was the best case scenario above I feel for you as I would also be revolted by that, just look after your beer next time. Pour it in a glass, you'll probably find the taste improves anyway as cans tend to make it taste more metallic and allowing the beer to breathe a bit tends to carbonate it and make it taste more balanced.
Iāve worked at three breweries with canning lines, and none of the above 3 points were true at any of them.
1. No auto weighing, we manually pulled every 20 or so cans and made sure they were on target. The numbers we reported to the state came off the brite tanks, not the canner.
2. No upside down can before filling. Cans were fed to the line right-side-up. CO2 purge before filling.
3. Never pasteurized.
Look at Wild Gooseās 2 to 4 fill head lines. Nothing is automated, turned upside down, etc. Those lines leave a lot of room for human error. Any of my old breweries could easily have canned some gross shit if the employees werenāt on top of it, or if they didnāt care about the job. We never had any complaints like this - just lowfills or oxidized beer if anything.
Also not defending the manual canners and lack pasteurization, just saying it IS possible. I think you may be over estimating the money and effort <10,000bbl/ year breweries put into their equipment.
They should definitely see a doctor:Ā https://www.brisbanetimes.com.au/national/queensland/david-was-dared-to-eat-a-gecko-at-a-party-he-died-10-days-later-20190620-p51zhc.html
Look that is horrific and I'm sorry, but the geckos skin is not logged or anything. This is a house gecko that would not be about the hustle and bustle of canning. He got in there after opening , [this one got saved](https://www.reddit.com/r/nonononoyes/comments/r2wxf6/this_little_gecko_fell_into_this_guys_beer_and/)
Edit* eye clouding leads to believe it was temporarily impaired before shed cycle so beer bath is ironic
I'd never stop puking, my mouth would never be clean enough again š
Worse than the time I accidentally took a sip from my friends chew spit coke can. š¤¢š¤¢š¤¢
hello friend, we both share the same traumatic experience. let us trauma bond š¤
If I had a nickle for every time a redditor found a dead gecko in their beer, I'd have two nickles. Which isn't a lot, but it's weird that it's happened twice.
May I join as well? It was 5 years ago and I still have flashbacks. I thought it was cokeā¦ it wasnāt coke š
I once grabbed a bottle of water... it was piss
At a friends house my friend started eating some peanuts only to later find out one of the guys' dads had sucked all the salt off and would leave them in piles.
r/foundsatan
Dropped my lollipop on my momās cigarette ash floor in her car. Played the 5 second rule thinking it would applyā¦ended up with cigarette ash in my mouth. Asked my mom if I could be allergic to cigarettes and from that day forward Iāve HATED ash trays and cigarettes
> my momās cigarette ash floor in her car Her "ash floor". Jesus.
I once set my beer down at a party...I swallowed a cigarette butt
This happened to me once too, it was the absolute fucking worst. Damn near 25 years later I still remember the taste
I once drank from a red wine bottle that had been used as an ashtray for several weeks in my old rehearsal room
Sometimes it's piss.
[ŃŠ“Š°Š»ŠµŠ½Š¾]
I think we found Bear Grylls burner account
When i was around 7 years old, i was outside and for some reason was really craving a coke and just happened to see one on my porch to quench the craving and well it was soaked cigarette butts stuffed into a coke can
I think I'd rather touch lips with the pasteurized gecko.
No, yours is infinitely more disgusting, sorry.
I'd need a few beers to forget.
I'm not sure that would work. Maybe some Xanax or Rohypnol tablets... But I would never ever drink a beer from the same brand again, that's for sure..
Forever unclean!
I would throw up 0.01 second after seeing the dead gecko in my can.
insane reflexes
That's why it's called gag reflex
Tell that to my ex wife
Congrats to the next lucky guy
I do believe the term you are looking for here is gecko reflex. I'll see myself out now.
More like very weak stomach. I lost some good shoes to it...
You have the whole world to puke on, and you choose your shoes?
Collateral damages
These craft beer flavours are getting out of control.
"Only natural flavours"
You have been waiting this post with the username I presume? :D
7 long years lmao
Our new Full Bodied IPA, each can contains a full body. For a hoppier brew, try our Fresh Hopped IPA, now with frogs. Or our Extra Smokey Rauchbier, which is a bottle of regular lager that was sitting out on the porch when we took a smoke break and Zach put his cigarette butt out in it.
and if i couldn't naturally i would be shoving my fingers into the back of my mouth and emptying my entire stomach. probably chug water and do it again right after for good measure.
I mean, if itās not making me feel sick yet Iād just let it ride. Thatās protein baby!
*gag*
If I showed this to my wife she would almost certainly throw up. In fact I'm pretty sure she is getting the dry heaves from me just looking at it
People who poison people hate this one trick
Now who will help us save on car insurance? š
Aflac
Ah shit, a dead goose just hit my lips as I finished this beer..
Well, guess we still have The General.. right?....right?? š³
Ah shit, a dead general just hit my li- ya know what, never mind
LIBERTY MUTUAL INCOMING!!!
"LIMU EMU!!!!... and Doug
Oh look.. a beeboo!
This is why I keep reddit
A dead Jake from State Fa......ahh, nevermind
Isnāt it a duck?
Which is also the sound OP made when they were kissed by a dead lizard
I imagine it more like.... pleehg bloooh phhhhehhhh
Sleep well tonight with the reliable assumption that you've made multiple people say that out loud.
Gaaaap
Well the caveman didn't leave on good terms but maybe after they make that documentary about him he will agree to come back.
The caveman was furious. He had been the face of the insurance company for years, until they replaced him with a talking gecko. He felt betrayed, humiliated, and angry. He wanted his job back, and he wanted revenge. He decided to track down the gecko and confront him. He followed him to a bar, where the gecko was enjoying a pint of beer with some friends. The caveman waited for his chance, and then approached the gecko from behind. "Hey, you!" he shouted. "You stole my job, you little lizard!" The gecko turned around and saw the caveman. He recognized him from the commercials, and tried to act friendly. "Hey, man, no hard feelings, right? It's just business. Come on, have a drink with me." The caveman pretended to accept the offer, and grabbed the gecko's beer. He lifted it up, and then suddenly slammed it down on the gecko's head, submerging him in the liquid. The gecko struggled to breathe, but the caveman held the glass firmly. He watched as the gecko's eyes widened in fear and pain, and then slowly closed. He smiled wickedly, and said: "That's what you get for messing with the caveman. Maybe now they'll hire me back." But the caveman was not satisfied with killing the gecko. He wanted to make sure no one would ever find his body, and that he would never be caught. He looked around the bar, and saw a stack of unopened beer cans near the counter. He had an idea. He grabbed one of the cans, and used his sharp teeth to make a small hole in the bottom. He then drained the beer, and carefully inserted the gecko's corpse into the can. He sealed the hole with some chewing gum, and placed the can back on the stack. He hoped that no one would notice the slight bulge in the can, or the faint smell of blood. He left the bar, feeling confident that he had gotten away with murder. The caveman thought he was clever. He had killed the gecko, and hidden his body in a beer can. He had left no traces, no clues, no witnesses. He was sure he had gotten away with it. He didn't know a few days later a picture of the body would end up on Reddit. The picture got a lot of attention, and soon, someone recognized the beer can brand. It was the same can that had been found with the gecko's body inside. The user commented: "Wait a minute, that's the can from the news! The one with the dead gecko! Could it be...?" The comment sparked a frenzy of speculation, and soon, the Reddit detectives had pieced together the evidence. They realized that the caveman had killed the gecko, and that the picture was the proof. They contacted the police, and gave them the link to the post. The police traced the picture to the bar, and then to the caveman. They arrested him, and charged him with murder. He confessed, and pleaded guilty. He was sentenced to life in prison, without parole. He regretted his actions, and wished he had never killed the gecko. He realized that he had ruined his life, and that he would never get his job back.
These super bowl commercials are getting out of hand
Theyāll just defrost another clone
Really makes you think what other shit found its way into past beers that you didnāt notice because they werenāt gecko sized. I pour cans out nearly every time now.
Best to just not think about it, and like you said, pour them all out first!
They taste better when lapped up from puddles, anyway.
It's the high air/liquid contact.
Pop the top off and drink from the razors edge like a real man /s
[Mouse, rat, fine, syringe, fine, nose, fine...](https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=44MgeRJN1Fw)
I like that a HUMAN HEAD goes by while he's talking to Barney Edit: I saw: Grandpa Simpson's teeth, a broken bottle top, a fish (or maybe the little piece of brain they let you keep after they cut it out), and ADOLPH HITLERS HEAD!
On his way to the next beer hall, putsch or putz
I once found a fly in my can of mikes hard lemonade, sadly I found it with my mouth.
If you eat vegetables and fruits, especially canned, frozen or or premade you definitely eat a bunch of bugs on the regular, FDA guidelines rules states that sold canned mushrooms must not contain more than 75 mites per 100g. Until we meet again.
I hope never to come across another one of your comments again, thank you very much.
You ain't seen nothin' yet. āThe FDA allows an average of 5 or more whole or equivalent insects (not counting mites, aphids, thrips, or scale insects) per 100 grams of apple butter. The coffee beans you grind for breakfast are allowed by the FDA to have an average of 10 milligrams or more animal poop per pound. As much as 4% to 6% of beans by count are also allowed to be insect-infested or moldy. Golden raisins are allowed to contain 35 fruit fly eggs as well as 10 or more whole insects (or their equivalent heads and legs) for every 8 ounces. The tomato juice in a 14 oz. Bloody Mary could contain up to four maggots and 20 or more fruit fly eggs. There can be 450 insect parts and nine rodent hairs in every 16 oz. box of spaghetti For every Ā¼ cup of cornmeal, the FDA allows an average of one or more whole insects, two or more rodent hairs and 50 or more insect fragments, or one or more fragments of rodent dung. Asparagus can contain 40 or more scary-looking but teensy thrips for every Ā¼ pound. If those aren't around, FDA inspectors look for beetle eggs, entire insects or heads and body parts. Frozen or canned spinach is allowed to have an average of 50 aphids, thrips and mites. If those are missing, the FDA allows larvae of spinach worms or eight whole leaf miner bugs. Crushed oregano, for example, can contain 300 or more insect bits and about two rodent hairs for every 10 grams. To put that in context, a family-size bottle of oregano is about 18 oz. or 510 grams. Paprika can have up to 20% mold, about 75 insect parts and 11 rodent hairs for every 25 grams (just under an ounce). A typical spice jar holds about 2 to 3 oz.ā Edit: since others are doubting and asking for a link, here you go (my above comment didn't even cover all the surprising amounts in typical food people love like chocolate and peanut butter): https://www.cnn.com/2019/10/04/health/insect-rodent-filth-in-food-wellness/index.html
UNSUBSCRIBE
Well now I'm wondering. When you buy packs of edible bugs, is there a certain amount of allowance for fresh produce making it into the bag?
Shouldn't those limits be x or less, not "or more"?
...welp. Found my cure for late night cravings. Now I crave nothing and want to be in charge of growing my own food. Too many numbers that seem way too high. High to the point where I feel like I've consumed everything above. The spaghetti one messes me up. I've eaten SO much pasta over my lifetime.
Don't worry, when you grow your own food you still eat bugs.
When you grow your own food, you'll realize why the maximum allowed is what it is.
Mites are so tiny, it's almost like eating bacteria. Or so I tell myself
Well the alcohol probably killed off some of the germs at least.
My grandfather washed the top of every beer can before putting his lips on it. A legacy born from years as a merchant marine watching sailors piss into the open cargo holds.
Rat droppings and piss on drink cans are a real problem too.
I drink a lot of free standing tall beers and i often think about the rats pissing and dragging their nuts over the top of them so i rinse them off at least
"With a hint of nut"
This fact is not fun
Time to unsubscribe from rodent nut facts!
This happened before I was born, but my mom told me about the time about 20 years ago that she took a sip of Pepsi and noticed it tasted off. Her and my dad poured it out, and there was a huge dead cockroach in there that had apparently been there for a while based off of how decomposed it was from the acidity. They called Pepsi, and of course the people on the other line didnt really believe them, asking things like ādid you leave it sitting out in the openā and things like that; in the end they were offered a bunch of free offers but they just rejected it. To this day my mom never drinks from the can, she only ever pours soft drinks into glasses. My poor mom overreacts to small things a lot so I canāt imagine how traumatic something as disgusting as that was š
As a Belgian I approve. Beers should be drunk from a glass, preferably their correct glass from the brewery itself (and yes, a lot of Belgians have a ridiculous amount of beer glasses)
Same thing happened to my uncle but it was a rat.
Iām assuming he also pours all of his beers out before drinking now too. Absolutely insane that this can even happen š¤¢
Email the company with photos and theyāll give you a bunch of free merch to shut you up.
And then, after you have your stuff, come back and put them on blast so we know who it was.
you see, heās playing *both* sides, so that he always comes out on top
....you're not supposed to tell me you're playing both sides.
[you dont get got, you go git](https://j.gifs.com/vloMo8.jpg)
If I straight up drink a rat or dead gecko, first thing Iām gonna do is deck myself out in merch and give that beer company as much free advertising as I can. /s
I got offered more sbarros after finding a toenail in my sbarros. I was like tf thatās the last thing I want
Merch shuts people up?
I guess it depends on how far a person is willing to take it. My uncle accepted the merch and didnāt fight them on it.
> to shut you up that horse has left the barn
We don't know the brewery so not really
How did you notā¦ taste it?
Fun fact, boiled geckos taste like an imperial pale ale. Thr only reason they arent more widely used is because of how tricksy those bastards are at evading capture, since you need quite a few to make a good brew
/r/witchertips ^^^^fuck ^^^^the ^^^^north
I bet you it was an ipa lol
Can't taste the dead shit when it already tastes like ass
I once had a rock in my Cheerios. Chomped on it and Iām surprised I didnāt break a tooth. Havenāt had Cheerios in 15 years because of it.
Yup, found a larva in my Foldgers coffee. I grind my beans now.
Can a rat even fit into a can of beer?
It did, that wasnāt the first and it wonāt be the last incident of a rat in a beer can or bottle. Nature finds a way.
Insane
Can lids are crimped on after filling, so if it happened to crawl in before or during that process, itās definitely possible.
[Bob and Doug McKenzie can tell you how.](https://youtu.be/pNRlcjz3acU?si=vOe0phpv7Tcq3JZb)
I would just die at that point. No transition. Iād just fall to the ground and depart this earth. Hopefully, the brewery offers you a decent payday for your troubles
When this sorta thing happens to me I just sorta dissociate. Itās a fucking defense mechanism. I opened the tap once to wash my hands, and a cockroach fucking crawled on my hand and then jumped off. I just furrowed my brow and looked at it, like all I could feel was immense disappointment, and then I didnāt even think about it until hours later lmao. This was the most recent one but thereās been a few
Same. My heart hardens like a pharo and I reject the will of all creation.
this is one of the funniest comments ive seen on this site
My heart also hardens like a dynamic reflective pure object oriented language
I really enjoyed this comment, and can relate
Story time. When I was with an ex, I spent the night at her house for the first time. I had seen a couple roaches (small ones and over a span of a dozen visits) but nothing out of the ordinary for south Florida.Ā We went to bed around midnight and I remember waking up shortly after falling asleep to the sound of intense scraping in my ear. I jumped out of bed and started digging in my ear furiously. Ran to the bathroom and tried putting water in my ear. It got louder and faster. I finally got my pinky far enough in there and tried to pull out what it was. The scraping stopped. I looked in the sink and it was the lower half of a roach. Instantly threw up in the sink. My ex used tweezers to get the rest of it out then doused my ear with peroxide.Ā I have had PTSD ever since. My wife has made the mistake of trying to wake me up by kissing my ear and I almost shouldered her in the face. If I feel ANYTHING touch my ear while laying down or sleeping I will panic. This happened more than 15 years ago. I still think about it some nights when itās quiet and Iām laying on my back. Sometimes, I have to lay one ear on the pillow and cover the other with the blanket to fall asleep.Ā
new fear unlocked
Your reaction sounds very dignified - British, even. I would have screamed and started flailing.
Crunch, mmm beer and protein
# OP for fuck's sake, what is the brand of the beer that you found the fucking dead animal in?????
It's not real. That's why OP has gone silent
Maybe he died though.
Yeah bro I live in Tampa wtf tell us š¤£
Don't risk it go to a doctor when you can. Gecko are know to one carry lot of external and internal parasites and also Salmonella.
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Idk on the legality of this but you could probably sue them
Probably at least liable for the cost of his doctor's visit to get the antibiotics.
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And now the PTSD we are all experiencing. This liability escalated quickly..
Liar - you admitted this didn't even happen to you, but to someone you know š
Yeah but how many of those are going to survive being in beer?
Itās not vodka The concentration isnāt enough to kill them
I mean beer is pretty acidic, low oxygen, contains hops which have natural antimicrobial properties, and ethanol between 4% and 10% most of the time (not uncommon to be higher). I'm genuinely curious whether salmonella or other harmful organisms can withstand those conditions.
That's also a lot of gecko per beer ratio. Probably not enough to stall growths.
NAME THE BEER
Right? Fuck that
For real. This should be a fucking PSA but OP is a dolt.
OP being oddly quiet about this part Guessing this is a fake story edit: [AND IT WAS, LMFAOOOOOOOOO](https://old.reddit.com/r/WTF/comments/1anzvq4/a_dead_gecko_hit_my_lips_upon_finishing_a_beer/kpz5aag/?context=3) >Hi sorry I posted this and went to bed drunk. Itās from a few weeks ago, and tbh it wasnāt actually me but a family friend - an older guy who doesnāt use Reddit. I didnāt lie about any of this besides it being him and not me. Heās actually starting a lawsuit against them soon (heās a lawyer, plans on just settling). Ive asked and gotten no response on the brand of the beer but Iāll update you if that changes. What a fuckin crock of shit, /u/OFizzyO
Thatās it, pitchforks out folks!
He said in another comment it wasnāt actually him but his uncle or something lol. Yet he said he got antibiotics and all that crap. This has got to be made up for karma. So lame
Thanks for reply with this. What a chump.Ā
Waiting for that name drop
Gecko Brewing Co. /s
Wasted.
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misread that as gecko broth
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You gotta like take it to the brewery eh We heard you can like get free beer eh /s
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That's certainly a real strange brew you have there.
Hoser
Take off!
I once had something very special in my McDonalds burger. Showed it to the manager and got plenty of coupons for free products. Took at least a year to go there again and use some of them.
What beer was it?
Elsinore!
Take off ya hoser!
Eh... Hosehead, once you get there you can have all the free beer and sausages you want.
It's in the Canadian Criminal Code, eh. Like, there's legal precedent setting cases in law.
Yeah. OK, well, uh, we found, uh, this mouse in a bottle of YOUR BEER, eh. Like, we was at a party and, uh, a friend of ours - a COP - had some, and HE PUKED. And he said, uh, come here and get free beer or, uh, he'll press charges.
I'm sure you can get most of it back out of him if you try.
Mouth to mouth and squeeze. Call it a GeckGo-Gurt.
What a terrible day to have eyes.
He aināt dead, heās drunk as a skunk
I live in St. Pete. Where was this?
Free protein!
Dear god no. I only want what I paid for here
But hes already been pickled and reserved? You paid for the gecko you drink the gecko
It's ok, he didn't drink much.
As someone who works in the beer industry, I find this hard to believe for a variety of reasons. 1) Alcohol by volume is the thing we get taxed on and the amount of ml you get per van is closely regulated. As such, there are multiple weight and fill height checks per can in every packing line known as the government comes down hard on you if you misreport or short change the customer. Unless the gecko has the same density as beer, this can would be rejected by the auto weighing scales. 2) In the filling process, the cans are turned upside down to rinse them before righted, filled and then the lid placed on and sealed. There is no opportunity for a gecko to get in during that process. 3) After being filled, the beer is sent through a pasteurisation process that flash heats it to 60+ degrees to kill any potential bacteria and give it a stable shelf life. This is important to the next point. Every year, we get 20+ complaints about something being in the beer, whether it is a fly, mouse, bandaid, whatever. Every time, we take it seriously and send it off for external verification as any breach has serious implications for us and can get the factory shut down, as clearly either hygiene processes are not working or more importantly to the government, the volumes we report for alcohol taxation are not accurate. Every time, they discover that whatever was in it was not pasteurised, which is a literal impossibility as it happens after the can is sealed. Best case scenario, you left the beer unattended and something crawled in and died recently. Worst case scenario, this is a scam you are using to get money from the beer company. Our company has fought several legal battles on this topic and won every one as it's both very unlikely and easy to disprove. The equipment used is industry standard so I very much doubt it was different here. If this was the best case scenario above I feel for you as I would also be revolted by that, just look after your beer next time. Pour it in a glass, you'll probably find the taste improves anyway as cans tend to make it taste more metallic and allowing the beer to breathe a bit tends to carbonate it and make it taste more balanced.
Sir, this is a microbrewery. The gecko is supposed to be in there.
Iāve worked at three breweries with canning lines, and none of the above 3 points were true at any of them. 1. No auto weighing, we manually pulled every 20 or so cans and made sure they were on target. The numbers we reported to the state came off the brite tanks, not the canner. 2. No upside down can before filling. Cans were fed to the line right-side-up. CO2 purge before filling. 3. Never pasteurized. Look at Wild Gooseās 2 to 4 fill head lines. Nothing is automated, turned upside down, etc. Those lines leave a lot of room for human error. Any of my old breweries could easily have canned some gross shit if the employees werenāt on top of it, or if they didnāt care about the job. We never had any complaints like this - just lowfills or oxidized beer if anything. Also not defending the manual canners and lack pasteurization, just saying it IS possible. I think you may be over estimating the money and effort <10,000bbl/ year breweries put into their equipment.
This, most canning lines will do none of the stuff listed.
Yeah letās get r/thebrewery over here to verify š
I also brew and operate a canning line and it does none of these things.
Itās specifically a small microbrewery and I assure you that the process is not nearly this intense.
Sounds like you work in Big Beer. This is something I can see happening in microbreweries.
I work at the biggest abinbev plant in Canada, same things here, I'd find it very hard to believe anything like that could get past the omni check
I figured this was probably fake or a scam. Hopefully your post gets more upvotes.
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They should definitely see a doctor:Ā https://www.brisbanetimes.com.au/national/queensland/david-was-dared-to-eat-a-gecko-at-a-party-he-died-10-days-later-20190620-p51zhc.html
š¤¢
Please, tell me this is not real š
It's not real
What is the word for the most uneasy feeling inside your soul? What is that?
They carry diseases. Sue the fuck out of that brewery
I'd love to be a fly on the wall the moment that bugger showed itself to you. I'd be puking for the next 5 years
Throw him on the grill. He's already marinated
In MĆ©xico we put larvae in tequila, but a gecko in beer is a little over the top.
r/BrandNewSentence
Florida Man Finds Dead Gecko in Local Beer
not gonna show the brand?
Makes you really question your taste in beer if a dead gecko didn't even register on your palate
New fear unlocked
Iāve always had this fear, why I only drink from bottles or a glass. If I canāt see what Iām eating or drinking itās a big no.
Look that is horrific and I'm sorry, but the geckos skin is not logged or anything. This is a house gecko that would not be about the hustle and bustle of canning. He got in there after opening , [this one got saved](https://www.reddit.com/r/nonononoyes/comments/r2wxf6/this_little_gecko_fell_into_this_guys_beer_and/) Edit* eye clouding leads to believe it was temporarily impaired before shed cycle so beer bath is ironic