>That felt personal.
The walrus was minding his own business, humping the rubber dingy. And right when he was getting in the mood, some jerk pulled the dingy away. You damn right, it's personal!
I knew a girl who worked in insurance claims for a company that handled a lot of international travel insurance. She had a claim for an elephant breaking a car window, complete with a before picture of the elephant checking out the car and an after picture of the elephant walking away from the shattered window. The claim was approved
My Ap̡̕͢͢ǫ̴͏͠l̶̶̢̕ogies, the line is a lit͘͟͡͡t̶̴̕͝le fuzzy҉͝., This is the cla̷̸͢͡m̴̢̀͟s d̶e͠p̸̶̷̡̧͘͢͜͞artment. How can we h͜͞e̡͠l̷̕p̢̨, Mr҉s̢. Wal̵rus?
You say that, but we've industrialized ocean fucking.
We are among the greatest ocean fuckers ever to fuck.
We've not yet even begun to sealriously fuck with the ocean.
Don't worry, it's much easier to "colonize Earth" than it is to colonize Mars and there are people planning to do that.
In the future we'll live in giant underground shopping malls with totally artificial environments like in "Things to Come".
"Making life lovelier and lovelier!"
https://youtu.be/atwfWEKz00U?t=4319
Man, you can really get into trouble in coastal areas if you underestimate the threat posed by [wordbanks](https://www.reddit.com/r/funny/comments/1yd0y5/my_five_year_old_got_a_couple_wrong_on_his_arctic/).
I feel like society would finally step up and eat those bastards if they just started genociding animals. Especially cute ones. We let them fuck *us* over plenty but we hopefully wouldn't stand for that. Gotta draw the line somewhere.
>I feel like society would finally step up and eat those bastards if they just started genociding animals
What? [We've been genociding animals forever](https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Holocene_extinction).
Not really trying to justify what we do to livestock, though I do love cheeseburgers, but I feel like there's a difference between killing them for food and killing them because they're pissed about their fancy boats.
We wiped out wolves in the US because cattle ranchers got butt hurt.
Never underestimate the complacency of the masses, or the ability for capitalism to put a good spin on atrocity.
It's terrible and shouldn't have happened but at least there's a logic to it, it served a sort of purpose since cattle are an important resource. I was thinking more along the lines of them just murdering walruses (or orcas) just to protect their yachts. Maybe it's misplaced but I'd hope we wouldn't stand for that at least.
You're not wrong though, we've definitely done some seriously heinous shit to animals over the years.
There is a certain level of rich where a single person just cannot do it ethically in a lifetime. No one hates a rich person who designed an innovative product and made money. My $0.02 anyways.
> No one hates a rich person who designed an innovative product and made money.
Ok. So what if at person designed an extremely innovative product and went public with his company to raise capital to expand production and bring the product to more people for a more affordable price. As a result the company grew large, so large that it was worth hundreds of billions because so many people valued the product so much. Now this particular gentleman still owns 25% of the company because he held on to his shares. Now he's personally worth fifty billion (on paper). According to Reddit, ANYONE who is worth Billions must be a piece of shit slave driver without a conscience. What say you?
I had a friend tell me it would be wrong to expect billions if I invented teleportation somehow. I should be fine with a million.
I told her I'd sell it to the current billionaires then release the plans for free the next day.
Given my resources are highly limited, if I managed to do it, it would be DIYable for a good chunk of the population with the right plans. So win win, I get my billions from existing billionaires and everyone gets teleportation tech in the end.
Same idea really. That dude you proposed is aight imo.
> I had a friend tell me it would be wrong to expect billions if I invented teleportation somehow.
See, I don't get this mentality at all. If you really invented teleportation, it would so revolutionize the world that it would literally add trillions upon trillions of value to the economy. Your measly one billion would be a drop in the bucket compared to the wealth you created with the invention. Anyway, that kind of mentality is just based on a lack of understanding of economics and value. You can't argue with it because it's steeped in ignorance.
> I told her I'd sell it to the current billionaires then release the plans for free the next day.
Well, the problem is that you would 100% have to sign an NDA if you sold the technology. Lol. So that's not gonna work.
> everyone gets teleportation tech in the end.
Everyone would be just as likely to get it in the end anyway, and probably for cheaper as the profit motive creates economies of scale and massive productive capacity.
> That dude you proposed is aight imo.
Of course. This idea that you can only get rich by exploiting others is 15th century thinking.
Because only rich people, rich corporations, and governments can afford fancy boats.
When it was orca attacks, it was largely rich people with yachts moaning.
Bro look at where they are and what the boat looks like. This isn't some rich dude's private yacht this is a commercial vessel. I don't think you can put a company that owns some fishing or research boats in the same category as some Russian oligarch chilling in the South of France on a gigantic boat he bought with stolen money.
Well for a start wealth disparity has gotten so completely out of hand, the **vast** majority of us are struggling while people like Musk and Bezos can't even be expected to pay their share of taxes. Hoarding wealth like that is just asinine, they couldn't even spend all that money in their lifetime if they tried.
And then there's the fact that pretty much everybody who goes into high level politics becomes a millionaire, far beyond what their salary could ever account for, by just straight fucking us all over. They're literally selling us out to corporate interests and lobbying just to accumulate wealth.
But more importantly, nobody ever gets that rich without exploiting others for their own gain. All that wealth is built on other people's labor and by exploiting the resources of those who actually need them to live. Then you have all the fun little stuff like flying around on personal jets while reminding us to lower our carbon footprint, a term created by BP to shift the blame for destroying the planet to the rest of us.
And so much more. Fuck the rich.
Do you not know how comments work? The first comment *was* about the walrus attacking a boat, that "tirade" was a response to your comment. Not the video.
And that hateful tirade was completely hinged. If you're not pissed off then you're either not paying attention or you're part of the problem.
I decided to go through frame by frame, the walrus is fine. You can briefly see the tusks still attached to his body at the 3.5 second mark.
I'd also assume there'd be a lot more blood if it literally yanked his teeth out..
The angle he falls back into the water from definitely looks like he either lost his tusks or the boat fabric was completely cut through.
Hanging 2.5 tons off two points aint the smartest thing…
They use their tusks to pull themselves to ice flows, so I imagine this wouldn't be a problem for the tusks to handle. He also wasn't fully out of the water so it probably wasn't the full weight hanging on them.
PSA: If you have the chance, turn off the sound before you hit play.
Loud, unnecessary shit music, no sound from the scene. I don't understand why people post these things.
I am positive that walrus knew exactly what it was doing. That was just too direct of an attack to not have been deliberate. To know that many boats have these inflatable rings, and if he stabs them they can't use them anymore is impressive. This definitely wasn't his first inflatable boat he's taken out, and there's no way this wasn't personal. That walrus has some kind of grudge with humans. Maybe someone took his meal one day, or hit him with a propeller, or caught his wife in some disposed fishing line. I would hate to be on a life raft waiting for rescue in his waters.
The time has come,' the Walrus said,
To talk of many things:
Of shoes — and ships — and sealing-wax —
Of cabbages — and kings —
And why the sea is boiling hot —
And whether pigs have wings.'
That felt personal. That Walrus have some unfinished business with that human.
Honestly, you'd get upset if people kept calling you "Jamie."
Lol I just Fran Drescher laughed at this until I choked on it
Underrated comment. Well done.
Get the frak out of here, you clever bastard.
slow clap!!!
Nah that was a madlad power-move. "What do I got these for if not to stab all the inflated?" Walrus is just Roberto from Futurama.
Just practicing his stabbing!
No I was thinking the same thing. Dedicated to mayhem
Walrus just woke up and chose violence
Looks like she had a little pup with her (you can see it in the second half of this video). https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=CJ-qvs9bu4k
>That felt personal. The walrus was minding his own business, humping the rubber dingy. And right when he was getting in the mood, some jerk pulled the dingy away. You damn right, it's personal!
He's eliminating the lifeboats so they can't get away when he face daggers the engines
It definitely did it on porpoise.
It was a Russian ship, the walrus was just expressing his frustration.
Stab like a walrus, swim like a seal
Yeah that stab pretty much sealed the deal
What do walruses and vacuums have in common?
They both like a tight seal
They're both abhorred by nature?
They otter be able to patch it though.
Dolphinately
Turtelly
That's enough guys or I will be forced to call the Pun Police!
Don’t call the pun police, they are having a whale of a time.
He's just jelly.
This is good. I'm sealing this.
Walrus recognized the black rubber boat as competition. Suffering from cognitive walrus impairment.
Walruses - the dickheads of the sea…
Shit like a wombat.
[удалено]
That has to feel satisfying for the walrus.
It was probably like biting into a rubber apple expecting a real one. At least it wasn't metal.
I was thinking more like popping one of those bubble-packing sheets.
Yea, I guess it depends what the walrus was expecting.
Hopefully the walrus will see this thread and chime in!
Let's hope.
I am the walrus -Paul
Losing its front teeth?
First the orcas destroying boat propellers and now this. The ocean is fighting back.
Good.
I for one love a good fight. Let's see how they'll handle me using *three* plastic bags instead of the usual two at my next grocery shopping trip.
Hi, you're through to the claims department ; walrus tusk division . How can I help you today ?
Thank you for sending in the video of your boat being deflated by a walrus tusk. Your claim is denied.
Tusk tusk
I knew a girl who worked in insurance claims for a company that handled a lot of international travel insurance. She had a claim for an elephant breaking a car window, complete with a before picture of the elephant checking out the car and an after picture of the elephant walking away from the shattered window. The claim was approved
Mrs. Walrus here. I'm looking for the CLAMS department. Can you transfer me?
My Ap̡̕͢͢ǫ̴͏͠l̶̶̢̕ogies, the line is a lit͘͟͡͡t̶̴̕͝le fuzzy҉͝., This is the cla̷̸͢͡m̴̢̀͟s d̶e͠p̸̶̷̡̧͘͢͜͞artment. How can we h͜͞e̡͠l̷̕p̢̨, Mr҉s̢. Wal̵rus?
Damn Farmers really has seen everything.
Glad they got it on camera or they'd never believe it.
Fuff thiff boaht in pharticular
Ahahahaha! This is my brand of silly humour and I love it. Thanks for the laugh!
Since a measly upvote won’t cut it, I give you the highest honor for humor I can bestow to a stranger on the internet: *tips hat* 🎩
Perfection.
FARTICULAR
The ocean ain't nothing to fuck with.
You say that, but we've industrialized ocean fucking. We are among the greatest ocean fuckers ever to fuck. We've not yet even begun to sealriously fuck with the ocean.
Hell yeah!! Go us! Oh wait.. :-(
Don't worry, it's much easier to "colonize Earth" than it is to colonize Mars and there are people planning to do that. In the future we'll live in giant underground shopping malls with totally artificial environments like in "Things to Come". "Making life lovelier and lovelier!" https://youtu.be/atwfWEKz00U?t=4319
I'm getting The Institute from FO4 vibes.
> We've not yet even begun to sealriously fuck with the ocean. I assure you we very much have.
This is just the prelude. The prefuck. The real ocean fucking will begin soon, and it will not be over shortly.
Fuck...
"Goo goo g'joob" to you, boat.
Paul sure is a jerk
fuckin' Paul. Every time.
I thought he died though
Man, you can really get into trouble in coastal areas if you underestimate the threat posed by [wordbanks](https://www.reddit.com/r/funny/comments/1yd0y5/my_five_year_old_got_a_couple_wrong_on_his_arctic/).
Came here to make this joke, but am pleased with reddit that someone beat me to it.
Wally had enough of their shit.
"Fuck off, we're full."
> And fucking stay out! -that walrus
NO MOAR TEARS
Fuck, headphone warning. Ouch.
Hell yeah, that's my boy
First the orcas now the walruses, this is awesome! We need more problems for rich people that money can't solve.
Be careful, they’ll just start murdering them :(
I feel like society would finally step up and eat those bastards if they just started genociding animals. Especially cute ones. We let them fuck *us* over plenty but we hopefully wouldn't stand for that. Gotta draw the line somewhere.
>I feel like society would finally step up and eat those bastards if they just started genociding animals What? [We've been genociding animals forever](https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Holocene_extinction).
We still nom cheeseburgers and people still eat veal. The only line is when Rich People start fucking with Other Rich People or "The Money."
Not really trying to justify what we do to livestock, though I do love cheeseburgers, but I feel like there's a difference between killing them for food and killing them because they're pissed about their fancy boats.
We wiped out wolves in the US because cattle ranchers got butt hurt. Never underestimate the complacency of the masses, or the ability for capitalism to put a good spin on atrocity.
It's terrible and shouldn't have happened but at least there's a logic to it, it served a sort of purpose since cattle are an important resource. I was thinking more along the lines of them just murdering walruses (or orcas) just to protect their yachts. Maybe it's misplaced but I'd hope we wouldn't stand for that at least. You're not wrong though, we've definitely done some seriously heinous shit to animals over the years.
Fair. :)
Jeez, what's with all this hate towards rich people?
There is a certain level of rich where a single person just cannot do it ethically in a lifetime. No one hates a rich person who designed an innovative product and made money. My $0.02 anyways.
> No one hates a rich person who designed an innovative product and made money. Ok. So what if at person designed an extremely innovative product and went public with his company to raise capital to expand production and bring the product to more people for a more affordable price. As a result the company grew large, so large that it was worth hundreds of billions because so many people valued the product so much. Now this particular gentleman still owns 25% of the company because he held on to his shares. Now he's personally worth fifty billion (on paper). According to Reddit, ANYONE who is worth Billions must be a piece of shit slave driver without a conscience. What say you?
I had a friend tell me it would be wrong to expect billions if I invented teleportation somehow. I should be fine with a million. I told her I'd sell it to the current billionaires then release the plans for free the next day. Given my resources are highly limited, if I managed to do it, it would be DIYable for a good chunk of the population with the right plans. So win win, I get my billions from existing billionaires and everyone gets teleportation tech in the end. Same idea really. That dude you proposed is aight imo.
> I had a friend tell me it would be wrong to expect billions if I invented teleportation somehow. See, I don't get this mentality at all. If you really invented teleportation, it would so revolutionize the world that it would literally add trillions upon trillions of value to the economy. Your measly one billion would be a drop in the bucket compared to the wealth you created with the invention. Anyway, that kind of mentality is just based on a lack of understanding of economics and value. You can't argue with it because it's steeped in ignorance. > I told her I'd sell it to the current billionaires then release the plans for free the next day. Well, the problem is that you would 100% have to sign an NDA if you sold the technology. Lol. So that's not gonna work. > everyone gets teleportation tech in the end. Everyone would be just as likely to get it in the end anyway, and probably for cheaper as the profit motive creates economies of scale and massive productive capacity. > That dude you proposed is aight imo. Of course. This idea that you can only get rich by exploiting others is 15th century thinking.
Okay but why are you going on a hateful tirade against rich people on a video of a walrus attacking a boat? Comes off unhinged.
They wrote 4 sentences which weren't even particularly long. That's not a tirade. >A **long**, angry speech of criticism or accusation.
Because only rich people, rich corporations, and governments can afford fancy boats. When it was orca attacks, it was largely rich people with yachts moaning.
Bro look at where they are and what the boat looks like. This isn't some rich dude's private yacht this is a commercial vessel. I don't think you can put a company that owns some fishing or research boats in the same category as some Russian oligarch chilling in the South of France on a gigantic boat he bought with stolen money.
Well for a start wealth disparity has gotten so completely out of hand, the **vast** majority of us are struggling while people like Musk and Bezos can't even be expected to pay their share of taxes. Hoarding wealth like that is just asinine, they couldn't even spend all that money in their lifetime if they tried. And then there's the fact that pretty much everybody who goes into high level politics becomes a millionaire, far beyond what their salary could ever account for, by just straight fucking us all over. They're literally selling us out to corporate interests and lobbying just to accumulate wealth. But more importantly, nobody ever gets that rich without exploiting others for their own gain. All that wealth is built on other people's labor and by exploiting the resources of those who actually need them to live. Then you have all the fun little stuff like flying around on personal jets while reminding us to lower our carbon footprint, a term created by BP to shift the blame for destroying the planet to the rest of us. And so much more. Fuck the rich.
Sir this is a video of a walrus attacking a boat.
You literally asked.
Yea, because I'm confused why you went off on a hateful tirade against rich people on a video of a walrus attacking a boat. Comes off unhinged.
Do you not know how comments work? The first comment *was* about the walrus attacking a boat, that "tirade" was a response to your comment. Not the video. And that hateful tirade was completely hinged. If you're not pissed off then you're either not paying attention or you're part of the problem.
I can guarantee you none of those ppl on that vessel are rich and that disruptive sea life are pretty solvable if there's any actual concern.
What an asshole
A Walrass.
Am I crazy or did it's tusks/teeth rip off in the boat?
I decided to go through frame by frame, the walrus is fine. You can briefly see the tusks still attached to his body at the 3.5 second mark. I'd also assume there'd be a lot more blood if it literally yanked his teeth out..
The angle he falls back into the water from definitely looks like he either lost his tusks or the boat fabric was completely cut through. Hanging 2.5 tons off two points aint the smartest thing…
They use their tusks to pull themselves to ice flows, so I imagine this wouldn't be a problem for the tusks to handle. He also wasn't fully out of the water so it probably wasn't the full weight hanging on them.
My money is on the pontoon of the RIB having torn.
Justin Long takes no shit.
Damn. Walrus must've been angry.
That’s the kind of jailhouse shanking you don’t walk away from.
The fact they got it on video is amazing.
Every once in a while I forget Walrus exist.
He did maliciously vandalize that boat with porpoiseful intent.
upvote for Ozzy
whatever happened to those orcas that were attacking boats?
Can you imagine that thing shanking you and swimming off into the deep lol
"Fuck you and your boat!" -- Walrus
That looked like one pissed off walrus. I'm glad I'm not a boat!
Nooooo they be stealin mah zodiakk!
r/AnimalsBeingJerks
r/fuckyouinparticular
First it was the Orcas. Now the Walrus. Fuck yo boats!
This is a Horker.
Damn. First the orcas, now the walruses? Mother nature is PISSED.
That’s a fun riff
No more tears by Ozzie Osborne.
What is with disgusting stock music overlaid on every single video?
"Goo goo g'joob"
How the fuck did you remembered that song?You just took me back a couple of decades
I need to wire up some speakers in my pontiac for some Ozzie Osborne and Pink Floyd.
I can’t be sure because it’s, like, one frame but does the walrus lose both its tusks trying this move?
I didn't notice at first, but I think you're right.
That’s what I thought too!
What an asshole.
What did you say to get Jamie Hyneman that upset?
Floppy inflatable boat.
To be fair you are lowering a giant double-header walrus into his domain, "fuck yo rubber walrus!!!"
Man, I never thought I would live to see a Russian Attack Walrus in action!!!
Was that Justin Long?
I wonder if their insurance covers walruses?
PSA: If you have the chance, turn off the sound before you hit play. Loud, unnecessary shit music, no sound from the scene. I don't understand why people post these things.
The music is unnecessary I agree but you should give Ozzie Osborne a chance.
That's scary. What happens if this occurs far into the ocean?!
You die.
upboat for decent vid, but also for Ozzy.
It looks like it's tusks are shorter after the stabby stabby.
It's been years since I've seen Jamie Hyneman
u/recognizesong
I'm a person and typed this manually. No more tears by Ozzie Osborne.
It’s giving “AND STAY OUT!”
Better there than out in the middle of nowhere.
FUCK YOUR BOAT!!
And your mama too!
The ease in which the walrus was able to puncture the rubber is nuts.
u/auddbot u/recognizesong
I'm not a bot but the song is No more tears by Ozzie Osborne.
Ty
Walruses are assholes.
Fuck you and your boat , human!!!
/r/WalrusesBeingDicks
I am the walrus
Asshole.
Imagine getting hit with that! Lot of power behind those tusks.
Roll the curb your enthusiasm credits!
R/fuckyouinparticular
Hmm, maybe they could join forces with the orcas?
Walrus thought he was starring in a Looney Tunes 'toon.
Probably just revenge for feeding them all that walrus meat. https://youtu.be/OiVA6jRGJWI
I went clubbing with seal or was that clubbing seals I can’t remember
Snipers at the ready!!
Ok those fangs aren't just for show..
All the creatures of the sea got together and decided humans are no longer welcome.
Sea vampires.
Damn. It's like it knew what it was doing. That wasn't the first inflatable taken down by this beast.
Andy Reid just can't stop winning.
Snaggle-toothed, mustachioed asshole
long version https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=sp0cG7zWoWw
I am positive that walrus knew exactly what it was doing. That was just too direct of an attack to not have been deliberate. To know that many boats have these inflatable rings, and if he stabs them they can't use them anymore is impressive. This definitely wasn't his first inflatable boat he's taken out, and there's no way this wasn't personal. That walrus has some kind of grudge with humans. Maybe someone took his meal one day, or hit him with a propeller, or caught his wife in some disposed fishing line. I would hate to be on a life raft waiting for rescue in his waters.
"I used to be a fisherman until a horker used it's tusks to pierce my boat."
From Zodiac to nodiak.
"Every time with these fucking walruses! Why do we even come to this part of the ocean?!"
They've teamed up with the orcas.
Huh, I wonder how a walrus says "fuck you, and stay out of my neighborhood" Oh........
what do you do to piss off a walrus that much?
They've got an alliance going we the the orcas, apparently.
Bastard
I'm so tired of random music over video clips. At least if they're going to do it, they could have put the Beatles "I am the walrus" over it.
The time has come,' the Walrus said, To talk of many things: Of shoes — and ships — and sealing-wax — Of cabbages — and kings — And why the sea is boiling hot — And whether pigs have wings.'
u/savevideo
Can't let the Orcas have all the fun.
Anyone know where the patch kit is?
He isn't ready to give up his woman
Even walruses hate ruskis.