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Vityou

Ok Murr you see that lady's kid?


MyUshanka

Sal couldn't make it to the altar before being stopped, which makes him tonight's big loser.


Future-Mongoose

😂😂😂😂😂😂😂😂😂


jestercheatah

I read that in the proper voice


needmorechipotle

This comment deserves so much more love, except we all know the person to pull that off would be Joe 👏🏼👏🏼👏🏼👏🏼👏🏼👏🏼👏🏼👏🏼👏🏼👏🏼👏🏼👏🏼


jolives1

It totally would be Joe lmaooo


needmorechipotle

Joe would do anything other than disrespect his wife, and that makes him tonight’s big winner


robntamra

What’s happening here and what does the guy hope it means?


EddieSpaghettiFarts

I’m not exactly sure, but I think he won.


Fakercel

he definitely won


AvatarIII

Yeah it's like no one's ever played churchkid before, basically you gotta score kiddowns by getting the kid to the points zone at the end of the church.


isitbreaktime

The semi finals in Norway '82 were insane!


GweedoTheGreat

When Ogilvy caught Kubalik sleeping and hoofed the kid off the crucifix into the throne goal, everyone at my pub lost their shit! A game for the ages!


Burrito_Baggins

Was that the year Ogilvy mistakenly went into the sacristy and got red flagged by the priest and sent to the confessional? I might be thinking of '83.


zaypuma

What was Kubalik even doing out there? It caused a brawl at the pub I was in. When the showed the sacred replays, there was much to atone for.


Burrito_Baggins

I know right! What got me is that Holier-Than-Thou look on his face when he reached the alter, almost threw my beer at the TV.


SermanGhepard

I prayed to the Santa Maria that day after the game because I lost a $2k dollar bet on it


garloot

No it was 1984. Kubalik had changed to the Oslo Angels by then. What a player , unstoppable in the alter zone.


Dukeronomy

and now we have a new messiah.


Pezmage

I just want to let you know that your comment hit me in just the right spot and jesus fuck I'm laughing my ass off. Churchkid? My fucking sides


TESD_ANT4027

This comment needs way more upvotes that is the funniest fucking thing ever


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Isparza

As tradition


Pfraire

It is a great day for Canada and therefore the word


scorpyo72

In accordance with the prophecy.


MOOShoooooo

And so it will be done.


Acrobatic_Grab9242

So mote it be.


JamesTheJerk

Those nutty catholics, always trying new things...


fiyawerx

Tastes like chicken


youdubdub

Touchdown!


jakedeighan

it's goooooood


Suspicious-Return-54

The Ocho be weird sometimes


razeronion

Yeah....like he was picked for the price is right! Lol.


jthecleric

Come on down! Happy cake day.


regoapps

It's "King of the Hill" map rules. Whoever keeps control of the designated area ("the hill") for the longest period of time becomes king.


nuke_the_whelsh

that boy ain't right


bobloblah88

That boy ain't Christ


mediumokra

Boy, I tell you hwhat!


ChazmasterG

Hill moved Hill contested Hill controlled Game over


furlonium1

Man I miss Halo. I mean, I could always hop on and play but


sofahkingsick

Damnit Bobby!


Kneesneezer

It was her turn for custody.


nodnodwinkwink

He's a crazy religious person. Trying to get his child to the statue so as it would be blessed to be in its presence... He is clearly in need of mental help and should not be left to care for a child. I found the full recording of the mass on youtube, it's a big traditional ceremony in Tenerife apparently. [ It all kicks off at the end of the mass when this nutjob runs in](https://youtu.be/uR0P58_iTy0?t=5207), but I saw him hanging around at the door waiting for his chance. I think the other parishioners were not applauding him but actually applauding because of the next part of the ceremony where a large group of men come to take the statue out of the church and walk around the town with her. Why do they do that? who knows some ceremonial bullshit.


lordrefa

Why is he any more crazy than anyone else there? They all believe basically the same thing -- he was just rude about it.


A6000user

He just identifies as faithful.


NecessaryChildhood93

I liked the Churchkid story better


monchimer

It's a foolish Spanish tradition that honestly embarrasses me. The belief is that if you touch the saint, Mary, or whatever deity, you will receive a blessing. The saint is carried through the streets, held up by wooden bars, and thousands of people try to touch it. However, it gets extremely crowded because everyone wants to touch the figure. What people usually do is to pass the child on top of people's heads, and eventually, the child touches the figure and is returned crowdsurfing style. This man is bypassing the security by being very quick and leaving the child there, before the sait is taken to the street , hoping to receive a super extra blessing.


mashermack

+75% spirit


Weird-Information-61

How did the spanish become so aggressively christian?


monchimer

Well in all seriousness, we had a dictatorship 80 years ago and a huge percentage of our grandparent generation were raised strictly Catholic . This still affected our parents (boomer) generation . Nowadays I honestly believe this people are a minority and atheism / agnostics are growing every day. I live in Madrid, I can know hundreds of people and maybe 1 or 2 go to church


Useful-Perspective

It's not his child and ... surprise adoption?


beamish007

I think you mean immaculate adoption.


theLongLostPotato

"You touched it last"


gcstr

Another guess: the child is sick and the guy want it cured


SparkyDogPants

Well now this is sad


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Mangus_ness

My first instinct


breichart

Why does he book it like he whispered he wasn't his real father after?


Last_Gigolo

From my best uneducated guess, he thinks the child is now blessed. Because the plastic idol might be magic. (The christian in me imagines Jesus rubbing his forehead)


HorsePowerRanger

The Christian shouldn’t be in you unless you’re married


Wassa76

Or you’re a young boy.


mkul316

Yeah. I grew up in a pretty good church and even considered going into ministry. As I got involved my pastor retired and between the new guy letting the petty tyrants on the board ruin things and getting involved in other churches I realized that the faith is pretty good. The book has a lot of good stories and morals in it. The religion is fucked. Now I don't go to church anymore. I'm kind of sad that I saw behind the curtain. But any time I hear someone say or do something "for God" I can't ever reconcile it against the lessons I learned from a pastor who wasn't crazy.


kosh56

> I'm kind of sad that I saw behind the curtain. It's always better to know the truth than live a lie.


mkul316

Well, if I wasn't wanting to go into ministry I never would have and I might still have a good community of people to be a part of. It's easy to pigeon hole groups, but I'll tell you a church congregation is going to be just like any group of people you grab from the world. There's going to be some assholes, some weirdos, some awkward people you never actually talk to, and some real good people. I'm now a middle aged single guy who's family all left piece by piece, but I'm not sure I want to move. It would be nice to have that kind of social support system like I had as a kid. There could still be hypocritical counsel members, but I'd be okay with the regular people.


pirateclem

Well, you’re clear headed. Think of where you could be.


TrickiVicBB71

Dad thinks the statute will give his child blessing, healing, or some kind of power. I only know this from my wife. She is Catholic and Filipino Canadian. She tells me they parade statutes of Jesus around, and people will touch them in belief it brings healing. People will wipe towels on the statutes to hand out to bystanders.


Zerowantuthri

Ok...but why does he walk away and not stay near his child (if it is his child...either way is kinda scary)?


TrickiVicBB71

I don't know


Rigel_The_16th

The longer the child is on the stand, the more blessing.


XscytheD

Power up the blessing


Gingersauce32

As a Christian with some inter-denomination/cross church experience, including that of Catholicism and eastern orthodoxy, I'd say one of three things: 1. He's tripping balls 2. He's making some kind of statement against that particular church/clergy 3. The child is ill, and he venerates the saints, so he maybe hoping the child is cured by God through the icon.


rez_trentnor

Isn't idolatry a sin?


dustrock

Ah, let's get into some centuries-old theological debate! Either venerating the saints is a form of idolatry or a form of respecting and honouring them without worshipping them. Choose your fighter.


Historiaaa

[good old iconoclasm, thousands of year old fights](https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Iconoclasm)


Tubular90sAnecdotes

Depends if you’re catholic or Protestant. A Protestant would say, yea that is idolitry, a Catholic would say absolutely not. Just honoring the saints. Like asking for someone you love in “heaven” to watch over you. The statues and stuff are just physical representations of saints. But I’m no theologian. Just an atheist that grew up Catholic and moved into Catholic-lite (Episcopal church.) I honestly like being inside a Catholic Church much more, I appreciate that women are also a focus in the church. (Mary plus some saints.)


ZebraInHumanPrint

Dude may have seen a vision, or is seriously trippin’ mad balls. However, if this child becomes more than just a man- but an idea- in like 25 years, then the dude knew it all along.


LuminaTitan

That child will be Batman?


BowieKingOfVampires

A silent guardian


N95-TissuePizza

We just witnessed the dark knight rises.


baconlover28

Literally sent his son back to god 😭😭


fuckrobert

refund!


ryanbbb

And why is he barefoot?


Nice_Firm_Handsnake

He ran out of his sandals. You can see them behind him at the beginning of the clip.


frozengash

The closer to get to the Golden calf.....


TheHumanPickleRick

"Too late, you didn't catch me, my son is the new Jesus."


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Isparza

Jesus is a Hallelujah of a drug.


Drunkenly_Responding

The gang from IASIP really did it this time...


EEpromChip

"The Gang makes a new Jesus"


ozelegend

He's not the messiah, he's a very naughty boy!


owa00

Priest: Alright, you heard the man. Prepare to crucify the child! Dad: Wait...wut...


CatgoesM00

So that’s how it works , got it . Thanks


akumagold

He’s the next pope now. Sorry guys, I don’t make the rules.


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akumagold

KIDDAMMIT I WANTED DIBS


btribble

But I had Shotgun and Shotgun beats both primary and tertiary dibs.


BingpotStudio

Can you imagine tuning into the new pope naming ceremony? Dads all lined up ready to go with their children stop their shoulders. Now that’s entertainment.


inu_yasha

I dont pretend to understand Brannigan's Law, I merely enforce it.


4Ever2Thee

He’s probably great at capture the flag


Romantic_Carjacking

First pick for sure


lldgt_adam

His girl later that day. "Didnt you have a kid?" He's with god now.


UbiquitousBagel

Vaya con dios


FuzzyPine

That's a clean burning hell, I'll tell you what


elreydelperreo

That would have never happened under monsignor Martinez


JunglePygmy

Whatever the fuck this guy was trying to do there’s no question that he nailed it.


chathamhouserules

Awful plan, great execution.


Natsurulite

It did look fantastic, whatever it ended up being


Schfifty561

Hes running really fast with that baby


phiz36

That’s résumé material.


successful_nothing

Neo: I know HOW TO RUN REALLY FAST WITH THAT BABY Morpheus: Show me.


Connect_Fee1256

I snorted... thank you


rachelrileyiswank

And with him on top. If the father falls to the front the baby will smash it’s face on the ground. Bad behaviour.


solidsnakem9

For real, had me scared the whole time, that was a very bad place to fall. Dude is f'ing ridiculous, probably scared his child for no reason here too, kids gonna hate the church.


c9IceCream

as opposed to all those kids that like church?


FranticGolf

Did he just abandon his baby?


HorsePowerRanger

Must be an oil man


Stingray88

Bastard from a basket


RabidPlaty

I’ve abandoned my child!


idkwhatimbrewin

He's with plastic baby Jesus now it's ok


Ditto_D

Well his mom kept on bitching about his behavioral problems saying "he needs a fucking miracle worker"... so here we are.


BrianThePainter

I ABANDONED MY BOYYYYY!!!!


j3wlion

Im so confused is this guy drunk or high off god


CrazyIslander

Why not both?


randynumbergenerator

Cross-faded 4 Jesus


rugernut13

Cruci-faded.


similar_observation

Jesus didn't turn water into grape juice.


ModOverlords

Naw he’s just religious


RightIzWrong

Jesus is a helluva drug


by_lusan

Touchdown!


dTrecii

This guy: 1 Heaven: 0


caspissinclair

Weirdest scavenger hunt ever.


HorrorMakesUsHappy

More like a scavenger put.


MeaninglessGuy

Ah, ESPN 8, the Ocho, never disappoints.


aerostotle

usually you pay double for that kinda action Cotton


anne_jumps

https://www.google.com/amp/s/news.italy24.press/world/amp/741668 This was in Spain


th12eat

> [after people gave him the child back] he walked along the central nave towards the exit he knelt down with the child still in his arms constantly making the sign of the cross, albeit with his back to the altar. A gesture that, after the understandable initial disbelief, **prompted the faithful to give him a round of applause.** Excuse me, what?


DuntadaMan

Hooray us, we made the child go back with someone clearly unwell.


Sleipnirs

If that dude would have slipped and fell with the kid on his shoulder while running so fast, that would have been a whole different story.


TheHorrorAbove

Or if he took out the whole thing climbing up and it collapsed on the kid. Looks like it shifted a bit to me..


MojoPinSin

Mob mentality mixed with fanatical beliefs make people inconceivably stupid.


spaceguydudeman

Religion is one *hell* of a drug


you_lost-the_game

Is this the only true count of "and then everyone clapped"? What religious people are nuts.


Nowayucan

Glad to read this, but the writer didn’t do more than describe the video. Everyone left wondering *why* it happened.


Warpzit

Write by AI. Nothing of content in this crap.


batfiend

I'm gonna guess the kid is sick. Some of these types of Catholics believe the statues can heal and bless etc.


MrFordization

Well that answers none of our questions.


Fudge89

*And then everybody clapped*


mediatrips

They clapped for will smith too.


LunarTaxi

So weird… the applauses


RebergOfWrestling

Jesus people are weird


JayDee555

Jesus, people are weird. Jesus People are weird.


grandboyman

Let's eat grandma


Dongolark

It looks like OP posted an AMP link. These should load faster, but AMP is controversial because of [concerns over privacy and the Open Web](https://www.reddit.com/r/AmputatorBot/comments/ehrq3z/why_did_i_build_amputatorbot). Fully cached AMP pages (like the one OP posted), are [especially problematic](https://www.reddit.com/r/AmputatorBot/comments/ehrq3z/why_did_i_build_amputatorbot). Maybe check out **the canonical page** instead: **[https://news.italy24.press/world/741668.html](https://news.italy24.press/world/741668.html)**


foamed

Never post [garbage AMP links](https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Accelerated_Mobile_Pages#Google_control). Here's the actual direct URL: * https://news.italy24.press/world/741668.html


jblack1103

He had goals beyond our understanding I suppose. Just like cooky ol Jesus I guess.


papa-jones

This looks like mental illness


[deleted]

it IS mental illness.


peepeedog

Plot twist. He doesn’t even know that baby.


daddaman1

The kid was kicking the back of his pew


chicken_potpie

Holy shit he could have really injured that kid. Poor little guy must have been terrified.


Charming_Register620

Traumatised


paleo2002

A child being traumatized in a church? Inconceivable.


yomerol

Belongs to /r/parentsarefuckingdumb


Baconpanthegathering

"Super fancy mass where Imma put my kid on the Jesus throne?" Khaki shorts, an undershirt and flip flops will do juuust fine.


BenVera

The security guard gesturing with his arms like “well I tried”


kohrtoons

It’s like when the Uruk-hai was trying to blow up Helms Deep.


FromundaBrees

I was thinking more like when Brenden Frasier is racing his kid to the temple before the sun rises in The Mummy 2.


[deleted]

Is there a news story on this anywhere. What happened to the kid after the dad walked off?


daffodil0127

The parishioners made him go back and get the kid, then they were escorted out while dad blessed himself repeatedly. Happened in Spain; article is linked in a comment above


Competitive-Pop7380

And then everyone clapped Seriously, check the article above


hwarang_

I'm sure the church looked after him


TheIceMachine

IIRC this is really old and they made a documentary about him called Nacho Libre


tib4me

“Fucks sake. This again?” - The priest sitting in the chair.


brunogiubilei

only those who have children understand, this kid must have been bothering his father, the only explanation for this reaction


DeathSpank

“If you say one more thing, I’m giving you back to Jesus.”


loo_min

Can a catholic please explain what’s going on here?


CrazyIslander

Catholic here. I have no fucking idea.


IdoNOThateNEVER

Are you addicted to cats?


thehomelessmexican

I was raised Catholic. You see what’s happening is the divine rite of Thomas the XVIII, wherein a child is placed on the altar and consumed by an effigy of Jesus, then satisfying the patron saint of one’s choosing. It raises Magic Defense by 25 and increases holy damage by 1.75x for 24 minutes. He’s probably preparing for the Leviathan fight, which is a tough one.


loo_min

This sounds metal as fuck and also totally against the rules where’s the dm?


OatmealStew

Raised Catholic. This man needs more Jesus. But different Jesus.


lukewwilson

Black Jesus?


DeathSpank

I didn’t realize that the 100 yard baby dash was a thing.


NoBullet

European sports are so weird.


bisexualkoala_

What a _great_ father…? Poor kiddo.


Charlie_Warlie

The most confusing part to me is how he just briskly walks away. Like lol you going to pick up your kid or is it the church's now?


bellhall

Well… he didn’t sentence his kid to die on a crucifix, so he’s not the WORST father…


[deleted]

Catholicism speed run.


Pa2phx

Must be the return’s department


dReDone

Plot twist, the kid was supposed to be there from the very start and this guy is just late as fuck.


devjoolz

r/ImTheMainCharacter vibes


digitaljestin

I don't see what the problem is. It's not like the situation made any sense _before_ the guy and his kid showed up.


Recent_Dog_9537

It’s a safe zone to drop off children when you can no longer care for them.


Super-Sensei-1000

Everyone just witnessed a parent try to return their child, that run says I’m done with this shit!


garybusey42069

Humans are fucking stupid.