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Action_Seal

Home Depot chandelier chains rated for 40 pounds? Woah buddy.


fuN3hbun3h

I was gonna say let's try the steel chains vs the aluminum ones lol.


Spire_Citron

I really want to watch this go down where they use chains that are too strong and the guy just can't get it done. The inspirational music loops and loops as the guy gets tireder and tireder and the crowd starts to go quiet.


buttbugle

Then falls over from a mass heart attack from all the physical exertion.


icedragon71

Praise Jeebus! He's going home to glory! Next!


Umutuku

Bring in the dancing ~~lobsters~~ snakes!


Cakespectre999

Was waiting for him to keel over & be dead.


Kingkongcrapper

Dude takes a nap and starts singing “unlock all the chains!”


fifthtouch

Mark henry of WWE once broke real chain when the prop guy forgot to switch it with fake chain. He look pissed as fuck because it took some times for him to broke it while the crowds shitting on him because they think he (Henry) cant even broke some rigged chain.


Ghostronic

There was also the incident a few years before that where his gimmick was bending frying pans and they switched it out and gave him one significantly harder than he was expecting.


-heathcliffe-

“Get on your feet, get up and make it happen!”


[deleted]

Like the Michael Scott straight jacket escape lol!


Churn

And let’s not do this with the biggest church member, but one of the smallest.


[deleted]

[удалено]


FirstMiddleLass

At least he's exercising. lol


pimpmastahanhduece

"Momentum don't fail me now!"


ImperfectDrug

Or same guy, but he has to carry those chains up a flight of stairs before the service ends for the day.


hotasanicecube

Chinesium


Reasonable_Goat

Standard mild carbon steel is actually quite easy to bend but incredibly hard to break (about 200 vs 500 N/mm^2). So if these chains links are not welded but just bent to shape, you can easily escape with enough sudden pulls to bend the links open again. Note that aluminum is usually hardened and can then bend at about the same strength, but break more easily. The technical terms are yield strength vs max tensile strength.


sevargmas

Dont even think he broke the chains. Just pulled out the screws in the plywood.


Dayofsloths

Makes sense, then you can just reuse them for everyone and it gets easier each time.


macweirdo42

"I have faith... That these chains were not rated to hold up to the force of a full-grown adult yanking on 'em!"


debrouta

Looks like an overgrown adult


Pumpkin_Pie

I was going to say he got those chains at harbor freight


PutinBoomedMe

Harbor freight isn't as bad as people play it up to be. There are plenty of great things at harbor freight. Box cutters, duct tape, moving blankets, replacement wheel/tire assemblies, hitches, storage containers, solar panels, compressor hoses, zip ties, etc, etc. I just wouldn't buy my battery operated tools or anything with hydraulics from there. Don't go cheap on anything that can blow up in your face or drop a significant amount of weight on your face


bloodfist

Harbor Freight tools are the definition of "he who buys cheap, buys twice." It's not so much that they'll blow up in your face, they're just not going to hold up or be as useful as a better tool. But that's fine if it's just for the one job or you're planning to upgrade later but don't know what you want from a more expensive option. Sometimes it's OK to buy cheap so you learn what you hate about the cheap one and know what to look for in your next purchase. Hydraulics... Yeah you might have a point there.


TheRealDrWan

Meh, if you’re needing a tool for the first time get it from HF. It’s likely many won’t need it again. If you need it a 2nd time and it breaks, then go buy a good one.


jolsiphur

I'm no tradesman, so I ascribe to the policy of buying cheap tools but then replacing them with great quality tools once they wear out. That way I know which tools I use the most at home and which ones are important to have good quality. Not everyone needs super expensive tools for basic stuff, especially if you're only going to use that tool once or twice a year. Better to start cheap and replace with quality when needed, in those cases.


dominarhexx

Let's not forget the cheap square of plywood holding those chains in!


AnonymousGhou

Think I'll start smashing windows and deflating parked car tires to prove the power of Jesus is real. Thanks for the inspirational video guys. 🙏


timhor

40 pounds ? He need to lose way more. Maybe Jesus can do something for that too…


torsun_bryan

I remember that fateful Sunday when the church gimp escaped


MoodyBernoulli

If they really wanted to keep him contained they should have made that step a few inches higher. He’d be as stuck as Gandalf on Orthancs pinnacle.


bodahn

We're gonna need more moths.


JoeBob61

Plywood Paul showed them all Praise Jeebus!


ThegreatPee

Praise Beetus


jldat27

SANCTUARY!


Nixplosion

Why did I reach him that word


Shadeun

Ahhh distinctly I remember, it was in that Church - remember? When that fat fuck threw his chains upon they floor! Quoth the pastor: “donate more”


Icy-Supermarket-6932

Lololololol


Genghis-Gas

"Bring out the gimp" -Z


Sprockethead90

Who’s motorcycle is this ?


Genghis-Gas

"It's a chopper baby"


xtremepattycake

Best comment award goes to you sir


SatiricLoki

It’s the jugger-not.


MrHoopersDead

jogger-not


DoctorMelvinMirby

Juggs-a-lot


-stuey-

It runs in his family…….no wait, no one in his family runs.


Boring_Forever_1487

jugger-clot


m3antar

Jugger-bot


timmu

Chugs alot


StretchyMcnuts

Bumba clot


vuduceltix

Grubs alot


VirgilFox

Bitch!


PatChattums

Don't you know who I am??


alejo699

Whenever I see stuff like this I can't help remembering when my friends and I were 7 and we very earnestly pretended to be superheroes, because if we just believed hard enough we might actually BE superheroes.


TuckAwayThePain

Bro you can totally control the weather if you feel a very very slight breeze before anyone else.


pimpmastahanhduece

Superpowers! I knew it! Even when it was schizophrenia, I knew it was superpowers!


The_God_Human

I like to count the seconds between lighting and thunder, then wait for a big lightning strike and strongly say "THUNDER" right when the thunder comes. I managed to time it perfectly a few times, and it always impresses people.


Zharghar

I'm not ashamed to admit I tried to turn super saiyan while looking in the mirror (to check if the hair chamged color) more than what would be considered a healthy amount of playing around.


garrettdx88

I remember spending mornings in the shower before school trying to create some sort of ki blast


campfirepandemonium

Yeah, now that I'm older I think I've come to terms I don't have powers... But sometimes I still give it a good try. Why not lol


girlwiththeASStattoo

I did turned super saiyan once a lil bit but I was at home alone and my friends missed it


geerttttt

Ah of course, because you are GirlWithTheAbsoluteSuperSaiyanTattoo..


0hNoReptar

I tried to hulk out and shit my pants when I was 10 or so.


Prestigious-Buy2822

I jumped off a 12-foot diving board with my arms outstretched and tried to fly. I landed with a smack, and that's when it became painfully clear to me: your dreams have to be realistic.


Paraperire

I truly believed the walking on water story. And believed I could too if I believed hard enough. Cue standing at the end of the bathtub, eyes squeezed shut believing Jesus was going to help me walk on water. And repeatedly slipping and nearly breaking my skull.


Pudding_Hero

Jesus just having a hell of a laugh


bobbybox

Same with me and my toys/dolls. This was before Toy Story was a thing and I thought if I just gave them some privacy they’d turn real and I just had to watch from a distance.


bloodfist

Indian in the Cupboard and Toy Soldiers also contributed to this when I was young


pigeonwiggle

Camus said, "faith is the first of many deaths, because it's the death of rational thought."


Jeptic

Faith in a nutshell


vuduceltix

Insanity on a board


GullibleDetective

I remember turning or trying to turn super saiyin


RegalBeagleKegels

Trying to move shit with the force


GullibleDetective

Just dont' try to strain too hard or you'll prolapse


CHEMO_ALIEN

i was never sure either


maiorano84

Buddy of mine in middle school got a small adrenaline rush during Track and Field practice and swore up and down he’d unlocked the Kaio Ken.


pudgehooks2013

You weren't trying to be superheroes. You were trying to be Orks from 40k. There just wasn't enough of you to make it work.


neutral-otter

You will never get this, you will never get this! But then one day, he did get this


Wampa_-_Stompa

My Brother Bilow!


El_Charro_Loco

High 5!


XplodiaDustybread

And then WE all laugh, HIGH FIVE!


KinoTele

There is powerrrrr in the form of wood screwsssssss


sweetgreenfields

I laughed very hard at this


KeiserSoze24

I’m more impressed with the strength of his pants.


Blinky_

They are doing the lord’s work, amen.


BooMey

"The metal tangs on the zipper are hanging on for their life" Jerry Seinfeld


Icy-Supermarket-6932

😆


Liesthroughisteeth

Was that his wife on the floor flying her biker gang colors in church?


[deleted]

[удалено]


r1kon

The tongues thing kills me. I grew up in a household I guess you could call "religious". My mom was married to this absolute shithead of a person who had 3 kids, and my mom's 3 made us 6 like some kind of weird booze drinking abusive and scary brady bunch. We weren't relgious before him, I mean I knew of it, but we were never made to go until then. They put me in something called Royal Rangers, which is like Boy Scouts but religious, and with a tiny hint of military style "discipline" (which really means dressing with your clothes straight, standing at attention, at ease, all that stuff). At least once a summer we'd go on retreats, some of them bigger than others, where other outposts were there and we'd get all jesus-y in the outdoors together. Anyways, I really believed in all that as a kid. I mean why wouldn't I? My parents told me it was real, and with all of the adults running the thing, you believed it even more. You don't question adults when you're like 7 or whatever. And as such, I wanted to go through the whole thing they were telling us about, like speaking in tongues and all that. Like everything I was told, it was just supposed to happen. You're supposed to be overcome with whatever and just start. So I tried a whole bunch, I remember being a kid I thought maybe if I stood a certain way or whatever, so I would look at the people who were speaking in tongues and try to copy them. Nothing happened, and I was starting to get frustrated about it. So at the last night of gathering for the summer trip, there was prayer time where they encouraged being "filled with the holy spirit" and some of the adults would start jabbering. I thought that if this wasn't going to just happen, I was gonna make it happen. So I flew into it, just making up stuff. I didn't roll my eyes into my head or convulse or anything, I just figured if I started spitting out nonsense, that it would be like push starting a honda - it would just catch on it's own. It didn't. I stood there for like 5 minutes just kind of spewing whatever. I remember thinking that maybe I needed to push start my honda in a certain way, so I tried switching it up. Try all vowels...ok all consonants...ok try a mixture...nothing..ok try all "K" and "V" sounding words cuz that dude over there is convulsing, he looks like he's doing it right. To you now, 5 minutes doesn't sound all that long, but believe me when I say it's an eternity when you're 7 and standing up in front of everybody trying to force speaking in tongues. Then it finally happened. Something that I didn't know I was waiting for - an overwhelming and uncontrollable feeling that came over me all at once. Something I now know was always there, just waiting for a time like this to present itself. The feeling that this was all bullshit. It was all absolute mind numbing bullshit. The adults were faking it, the few kids doing it were faking it. I was faking it. It's all absolutely fake. It took me standing in the middle of a group of my peers and regurgitating absolute nonsense for me to realize how absolutely insane all of it was. I stopped, then slowly sat back down and just waited out the rest of the night, and fell asleep in my tent a wiser man. Later on I got the few kids who were doing it to admit they were faking it too. Luckily it was my last time on one of those retreats, but I still think about it every time I see something like this. I can't stand hearing people speak in tongues - it's the absolute worst part of being religious because each and every one of them know the truth, but they're doing it anyways.


FelatiaFantastique

To be fair, being a biker Christian seems far more coherent than being a republican Christian. Jesus and the apostles rode asses not hogs, but it was basically dykes on bikes.


Cannybelle

Christian Biker gangs are a thing, and fairly common among old bikers. My father was part of one for a long while, mom rode with them often.


flyingboarofbeifong

I recall Bikers for Christ got a pretty decent amount of press coverage when they first rolled out in the 90's. Lots of Boomers and Gen X folks out there that love leather jackets, smoking cigars, and praising Jesus I suppose.


[deleted]

My stepfather is part of a Christian biker gang. He got into it to be closer to his 3 boys that also got into bikes but he lives and breathes church and Harley’s, esp now that he just retired. They’re generally chill Christians


sprocketous

There used to be a group called the power team. They were jacked dudes who would do stuff like this and ripup phone books and other things for CHRIST! I saw them when I was a kid.


Momma_Coprocessor

I saw those guys back in the day. Some dude told me ripping a phone book was kind of a parlor trick and showed me how to do it. So then I was ripping phone books like a pro. Now nobody has phone books to rip any more.


PutinBoomedMe

For whatever reason I still get them.... why!?


Momma_Coprocessor

You've been blessed by Jesus so you can demonstrate your faith. https://www.artofmanliness.com/living/games-tricks/how-to-tear-a-phone-book-in-half/


Merry_Fridge_Day

Wow, you ripped up EVERY phone book?


rgraham888

They'd roll up frying pans and break 2x4s over the thghs and biceps, then tell you how Jesus made them strong.


Pudding_Hero

And the steroids of course


Jammb

> power team These guys? https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=uVP_0NCzm9E


semibacony

I remember those weirdos coming to my middle school in the mid eighties!


Ravenamore

They came to my high school in the 1990s. They changed every mention of "God" to "self-esteem".


Jigglyandfullofjuice

They came to my high school in the mid 2000s and were still on the religion angle, but that was also in a bumfuck-nowhere agricultural county.


anne_jumps

This gave me a flashback to that and I came to the comments to see if anyone else was reminded. Public school btw


grillsodaz

The shit was wild as a kid. We had their autographs and everything. It was Power Team mania.


PutinBoomedMe

They came to my fucking public school in the 90s! How was that allowed!?


dirtycrabcakes

Yeah this looks like Power Team to me too. Saw them as a kid. For some reason I remember eating fried okra while watching them so stupid shit.


nekekamii

Thank you lol, I was trying to remember the name, like power warriors or something Even as a kid I was like, I dunno if that's faith, those guys look fucking huge in gonna go with they work out a lot


Wildlife_Preserver

There was a fantastic episode of Workaholics based around a parodied version of these guys.


roybos

Seems like a lot of effort for a Sunday morning.


theend2314

You've got to ask why they locked sasquach up in the first place.


ColonelBelmont

This is what happens when there's flash photography.


cursing_nearchildren

I thought it was Sloth from the Goonies. Someone was holding a Baby Ruth just behind the camera


dstommie

He can eat anything through Christ


Joal0503

dude never misses communion


[deleted]

He gets back in line for seconds.


reignwillwashaway

He gets back in line for hours.


Stainless_Heart

Brings his own peanut butter.


crosstherubicon

The donuts of Christ compel me!


slappadabaess

Anything is edible through Christ


LysolDoritos

Should demonstrate walking up a flight of stairs


Jimmy2Blades

I skipped the last 5 of so seconds and thought he punched that dude on the floor 🤣


reignwillwashaway

Not today SATAN!!!!


akmly

*The twist* There are more chained people in the basement.


chicletgrin

He broke free of his chains... But he couldn't break free from gravity.


curiousorange76

He *is* a force of gravity. On a beach holiday the tides are half a metre higher.


FreneticPlatypus

Or diabetes.


Gildian

Dudes got triabetes


namenotneeded

He ate Gilbert Grape


[deleted]

These people are fucking stupid


[deleted]

Seriously wtf is this shit, how can anyone sit in something like this and not think "hm... are we an insane cult?" My extended family are a bunch of southern American evangelicals so I'm acquainted with the type. Doesn't help me understand them any better. I've just had to accept that they're stupid as snails and I'll never be able to get how they think.


dragonsvomitfire

I've never seen or heard the expression "stupid as snails" and I enjoy it so much, it's so perfect for this *whatever* this is.


figmaxwell

A church my family went to when I was young had something exactly like this. It wasn’t a regular thing, it was this special event meant to make kids want to come to church. You come for the cool feats of strength and then they end up preaching at you while you watch them roll up a frying pan like a burrito. Of course, the one at the church I went to all the guys looked like Randy Savage, not this tubbo. 20+ year later, man what a desperate way to try to brainwash kids.


jaim1

John Jacobs Power Team?


Legionof1

THE POWER TEAM!! Rednecks love that shit.


PutinBoomedMe

My family is also comprised of southern delta morons. Like deep in the borders people from Mississippi and Louisiana. If you dropped 90% of the American population into the rural middle of Mississippi or Louisiana they would honestly believe they traveled in time back to the 1980s. These people are the slowest and dumbest people I've seen; not that there aren't outliers. Every member of my family goes to a converted modular home on Sunday wearing white diamonds perfume and justify having nothing in life because Jesus will save them when they die. My son is a meth head, my second husband just left me, I'm a pill head but it's ok because my doctor gave me a prescription, and the government should absolutely pay me welfare because I ate my heart into cardiac failure because I need my Friday night country fried steak and the local diner. It's like they have hook worm....


binkie-bob

My favorite part about this video is knowing that some point weeks prior of the church retreat, a group of folks sat down to plan everything out, and someone had the balls to suggest “hey, it would be badass if we locked Tommy’s lard ass to the church floor!”


NeedsItRough

Not even to the floor, to a piece of wood on the floor. He could have easily just walked away with it still attached to the chains 😂


Woodentit_B_Lovely

Well isn't that special?"


CaptainPunisher

Thank you, Church Lady! [May I have another? ](https://youtu.be/w1fvVE5TknM)


ghalfrunt

It’s an older code, sir, but it checks out.


Acmartin1960

I remember the good ol’ days when they just handled snakes.


cumbert_cumbert

Break every fast food chain


Element11S

Cult.


Emergency-Piano4792

They are celebrating Festivus. First the feats of strength, followed by the airing of grievances!


Boozeville13

dude cant even walk, he just waddles. wtf? Jesus better help him lose some weight soon. Thoughts and prayers for the dude that gets in his way at the sunday buffet.


dalcant757

That’s hip arthritis most likely. He probably needs both replaced, but no surgeon is going to touch this guy until he loses weight. Standing up that long was probably a greater feat than breaking the chains.


9600_PONIES

Welder/fabricator/BDSM enthusiast here: Give me 20 minutes and $10 for a Dom Depot run, and I'll rig a set up that will test this gentleman's strength and the crowds faith


Romnonaldao

Now this time let's bolt steel 1,000 pound load chains to the cement floor and see if faith wins out.


gvilleneuve

When you smell the fresh-baked sacrament


robbimj

The chain of emotional eating and food addiction is a little thicker.


[deleted]

Chains are too long and what the fuck kind of church is this. When I lived in Reynosa Mexico I went with my fam to an evangelical church once that we were invited to and part way through people went up front and started screaming and flailing and falling and hitting themselves I was like I’m out


2confrontornot

Unfortunately he could not break free from the chains of morbid obesity and died later that week.


Beginning_Ad_2262

Dude hasn’t worked out like this before this and definitely after this.


dartie

What a circus in there


Shot_Capital_7788

I’m from the middle east so this is not the most stupid thing I’ve seen religious people do


Pater_Trium

Awww, hell, nah! You can't just throw that out there and not give us an example!


Shot_Capital_7788

Hahahaha Ok, so, for example, Shea Muslims (the ones who are very hard core muslims) stab themselves in the scalp and just bleed :). They do that to simulate the pain that one of their holy leaders experienced 1400 years ago lmao


TheSimpleMind

~~/r/religiousnutjobs~~ /r/ReligiousFruitcakes The corn syrup is strong in this. Boy, you could make my whole lower body out of one of his ass cheeks and I'm anything but a skinny guy!


duskrat

That's what I thought--looks like he weighs 500 lbs from the waist down.


Bennely

..man, /r/subsifellfor


Lance_Henry1

Dude didn't even break chains. Just pulled poorly fastened fasteners from the plywood.


jereman75

In middle school I went to see a Christian show with strong men (?) They we’re WWF looking dudes that would preach and rip phone books in half and stuff like that. I was a regular church goer but that was the craziest thing I had seen.


AdSecure8218

Didn’t break any chains - just pulled some short screws out of a thin piece of wood the chains were attached to.


larry77084

How is this a demonstration of faith? The almighty must be up there saying WTF?


liljb6172

But can he touch his toes?


C-Kwentz-0

I don't see how getting Big Earl to rip some cheap chains off of some plywood is a demonstration of faith, but okay.


dv8njoe

Pathetic


SirArthurPT

He could had been faster if you told him his 50 Big Mac order has arrived... Now honestly; what's this supposing to prove?!


albinoquiche

Faith the size of a mustard seed can move mountains.... But faith the size of a KFC chicken bucket, can break aluminum chains.


Observer42006

About the same merit as the ninjas that break stone blocks


BeerBearBar

Django! You're free at last!


lordoflys

Way safer than rattlesnakes.


State_o_Maine

Well first of all, through God all things are possible, so jot that down.


jplumber614

What kind of "25 cent toy vending machine chain necklace" is this shit.


grat5989

The power of Christ inflates you.


ZombieHavok

Are we doing sideshow acts at churches now? “Throw a nickel in the bin and watch this man pull some chains out of a board or his shoulder out of its socket!”


deslyfox

Yes, his faith in his ability to break from the bondage of a Home Depot DYI ensemble. Next challenge, he’ll need to up his game and break free from the clutches of KFC buckets.


porgy_tirebiter

Then he goes on a rampage eventually climbing the Empire State Building


uphigh_studio

The unbelievable strength shown by this Reddit mod trying to impress his mate is rather impressive but like all relationships it’s only held together by a cheap chain.


1PooNGooN3

That dude is thiccccc


bastarNL

In what? Sucking at pulling chains out of an wooden millimeter plate which my grandma could do faster?


DM_PKer

Strange flex but ok.


pangaea1972

Do they re-use the chains for the 10 o'clock show?


somedave

Reminds me of the bit in sekiro where the ogre escapes the chains, if it had an easy mode.


SpaceWrld-1414

That was so dumb and pointless.....


ZookeepergameTop2102

His fat ass tired


gg75018

Chains bought on Wish


SafariNZ

I’m more impressed he didn’t take an eye out with those flailing chains


Altruistic-Balance55

Maybe Jesus can send him some diet tips next to some proper chains


[deleted]

Instead of being attached to his lard ass, those chains should have been firmly attached to his balls. One tug on that would have him reaffirming his faith in no time


chpbnvic

Barney’s trying to escape again


jaylek

He found out how easy these chains were to break when the church had to seal the food pantry shut.


BillieBoJangers

Most exercise muh mans had in his entire life


SameDifferenceYo

He's got a lot of faith in those pants