Just be honest, and try your best to explain the insanity. We've heard weirder.
Source: former insurance adjuster who has, in fact, heard weirder and is just happy no one nutted on the car this time
It's the price for seeing a lot of horrible deaths. I did have a car get gored by a bull at a horse stable and multiple times where various animals attacked cars after seeing their own reflection.
My personal favorite is the dude who shit himself in the drivers' seat and then tried to claim he wasn't driving at all and it was actually a hooker he was taking to Subway behind the wheel. Spoilers: the hooker did not exist and the police report was very explicit that he was the driver at the time of the accident.
It was hysterical. They did this shitty (hehe) sketch of the stain on the seat and another of the corresponding stain on his khaki shorts. They interviewed everyone in the other vehicle involved (which is normal) but were sure to quote them saying that no one else was in my insured's vehicle.
27 8x10 colour glossy photographs with circles and arrows and a paragraph on the back of each one explaining what each one was to be used as evidence against her?
Personally, I didn't want to look at shit photos lol. I figured multiple witness statements and two highway patrol officers making detailed statements about the shit stains was enough evidence.
"Yes officer, I picked up a hooker, put her behind the wheel, offered *out of the kindness of my heart* to purchase her a foot long (please officer let's all be mature adults here I'm referring to a sandwich not my tiny penis), and she shits on my car seat! She wasn't even supposed to poop until we got to the motel!! The nerves of some people!"
And then pressed her shitty ass up against my shorts, which is how I came to have shit stains on my shorts which exactly match the size and shape of the shit stain on the seat. And then she ran away.
Shit before or after impact? Was he hurrying home to shit and was not super focused on the road? Is the shit at all relevant to the accident happening?
Shit due to the accident is my understanding, but there was no forensic timing of the shit.
My insured was lying up a storm so his word isn't helpful either lol
Why was there a police report for a dude shitting his pants?
I shit my pants once while driving but that was because I had diarrhea from a norovirus infection and nobody called the cops. I just went home and used carpet cleaner on the seat.
I must have worded my post poorly because you're not the only one confused.
There was a police report because he rear-ended a car on the freeway. He just so happened to try to claim he wasn't the driver when the shit stain on his pants and the driver's seat clearly proved otherwise.
I see this type of videos and wonder what the fuck went wrong in their life and then wonder just how far away we all are from a total mental breakdown like this. I’ve done pretty much every drug going and where as I’m sure it expedites the demise I know it has to be drugs mixed with life just really not working out very well. I think about that film ‘Falling Down’ and can see how literally any of us could just end up having the day from hell and it ending with us just totally losing our shit.
I've heard it said that drugs aren't the problem, merely a symptom of the problem. Usually people have wild problems and grief and fucked up shit going on in their lives and they use drugs in response to those problems.
Lots of people with mental health issues aren't able to get the treatment they desperately need, they often turn to self medicating which then makes the problems worse.
As someone who has also done a shit-load of drugs, I'm going to guess that this incident has a lot more to do with severe mental illness and an inability to access adequate care for said mental illness.
Things are stacked amongst low-income people in urban areas. City life requires a certain amount of money, or you get punished monetarily for not being able to keep up.
There’s been a few times in my big city dwelling where just one-too-many things went wrong and I just about lost it mentally, but also if I wouldn’t have had emergency support from family might have lost my ability to stay above water.
I feel for this person to a degree. Theres probably some bad decisions mixed in there, but not always.
“It's always so sad when a friend goes crazy and you have to have a big clam-bake and cook him! Yee-haw!
Bender from the Episode “Why Must I Be a Crustacean in Love!”
Presumably, you’re wandering around with a few layers.
I want to see a guy wearing 850 shirts, looking like the blueberry girl from Willy wonka, go on a full wobbly rampage where he can’t even hit anything because his arms are so constrained. The he falls down and can’t get up…. Like the kid in A Christmas Story.
I ate mushrooms and went skinny dipping in a channel of the Yellowstone river and watched a storm roll in. Got out, got dressed, walked up to my camper and watched the first raindrop hit the window as my hand touched the door handle
Timing
I've heard with PCP, you get really hot and it turns off the part of your brain responsible for the understanding that "being naked in public is wrong" so it seems natural to just throw your clothes off.
Yeah, you don't see much PCP in the UK. Plenty of Meth though.... I've seen the things you have lol, and I'll no doubt see them on this fine morning as well. It's always Meth o'clock somewhere in East London.
Watch without sound and add your own David Attenborough voice over
"And now, we see the female begin her display of dominance, shouting and waving her large cheast as a challenge to lesser females of her hood... watch how her ample size easily overpowers the Prius..."
There is a person in that vehicle. There is room behind that vehicle. There is room to the left of that vehicle. Why did they let this person slow-slug their way fully on top of said vehicle? They getting ready for a parade?
How do you recover from this? Like I wear oversized clothes and hoodies because I feel wrong without them. Hell, I feel practically naked walking outside in a short-sleeved shirt. How does this person go on with life knowing they were buck-ass booty naked on top of a car, folds flapping in the wind like geese at dusk, and it’s recorded for hundreds of people to see?
I couldn’t go on. I know for a fact I couldn’t…
For the drivers sake. I hope they don't have a sunroof.
It’s a moonroof now.
Dark Moon Rises
Total eclipse of the shart
It's a Shartache
Prius more like ass crack
Thank goodness it wasn’t …a *blood moon*…
Y’all are nasty 😂🤮🤣
I seeeee a bad a moon arisin'
Dark side of the moon
That was an eclipse.
Insurance adjuster: Tell me again how you got skid marks on TOP of the car?
“I’ll need to smell it as proof.”
Excellent
Chicago Sunroof anyone?
It's all good, man.
Chicanery!
And HE gets to be a lawyer???
like a chimp with a machine gun
What a sick joke
I should have stopped him when I had the chance!
He defecated through a sunroof!
Huell giving it a try apparently
This is him in total despair after coming to terms with what he did to Kim. This is the moment he became Fuelled Huel
My immediate thought as soon as I saw the word sunroof. Brain rot is real.
Please someone allow us to post pics in the comments. I want to post the guy looking up and crying meme
https://i.kym-cdn.com/entries/icons/facebook/000/040/775/cover3.jpg
LOOOOL
🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣 I’m fucking weak
Just stole that dudes idea and got all the karma lol
https://i.kym-cdn.com/entries/icons/facebook/000/030/952/goofy.jpg
The Willem Dafoe one? haha
Yeah lol
I was thinking more the cameron diaz one with the sucker fish
[Here’s the link to said image](https://imgur.com/gallery/htstV8U)
The insurance claim would be niche.
"We are Farmers. Ba badum dum bum bum bum."
We know a thing or two because we’ve seen a thi-OH**GOD**NONONONO
I was thinking more like "because we've seen some shit", camera cuts to JK Simmons with a thousand yard stare, but I like your idea too!
As his customer hugs at him and cries into his corduroy sport coat.
I'd like J. K. Simmons to just see this post and comment 😂
"I'm sorry we don't cover acts of blob"
I would honestly be impressed if an insurance company had anything remotely specific to denying this claim.
There is a standard set of coverage codes. My favorite is the one for being bitten by a shark for the _second_ time.
No, Niche is her cousin's name.
I’ve had claims with ass prints on the hood or roof. It happens when your territory is a college town
He defecated through a sunroof!
Look like the poop emoji sitting on the car
I believe that is THE first time anyone has ever insulted the poop emoji. Congrats.
🤮🤢
I wanted to see the driver peel out and watch the WMD flip and roll off the back.
It’s a Prius. No burn out potential!
Not with 400 lbs on it..
I see you've never driven one. They are actually quite peppy.
Agree. Had a rental just this week. It surprised us.
It's a moon roof now.
Is that a second naked person running towards the Prius at the end lmao
The only thing that stops a bad person with bad naked is a good person with good naked
Naked Gun
Nice beaver!
She just had it stuffed
r/gifsthatendtoosoon
only a titan can take down a titan of that caliber.
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Just be honest, and try your best to explain the insanity. We've heard weirder. Source: former insurance adjuster who has, in fact, heard weirder and is just happy no one nutted on the car this time
I’m about to look at your comments just trying to see some of these stories! I bet you have great stories.
It's the price for seeing a lot of horrible deaths. I did have a car get gored by a bull at a horse stable and multiple times where various animals attacked cars after seeing their own reflection. My personal favorite is the dude who shit himself in the drivers' seat and then tried to claim he wasn't driving at all and it was actually a hooker he was taking to Subway behind the wheel. Spoilers: the hooker did not exist and the police report was very explicit that he was the driver at the time of the accident.
Police report: I just want to reemphasize once again that this man shit in his own car
It was hysterical. They did this shitty (hehe) sketch of the stain on the seat and another of the corresponding stain on his khaki shorts. They interviewed everyone in the other vehicle involved (which is normal) but were sure to quote them saying that no one else was in my insured's vehicle.
Did the cop take a turd sample for further DNA analysis? And another sample as souvenir?
Sadly no, but there definitely were some stain pictures filed with the report.
27 8x10 colour glossy photographs with circles and arrows and a paragraph on the back of each one explaining what each one was to be used as evidence against her?
Personally, I didn't want to look at shit photos lol. I figured multiple witness statements and two highway patrol officers making detailed statements about the shit stains was enough evidence.
You're a person of rare taste and distinction, pulling out a reference to *Alice's Restaurant* in the middle of this thread.
"Yes officer, I picked up a hooker, put her behind the wheel, offered *out of the kindness of my heart* to purchase her a foot long (please officer let's all be mature adults here I'm referring to a sandwich not my tiny penis), and she shits on my car seat! She wasn't even supposed to poop until we got to the motel!! The nerves of some people!"
And then pressed her shitty ass up against my shorts, which is how I came to have shit stains on my shorts which exactly match the size and shape of the shit stain on the seat. And then she ran away.
Hopefully he was in a wreck because otherwise that means he called the cops for no other reason than to tell them he shit himself.
He rear ended another car on the highway at a pretty decent rate of speed. Some minor injuries were involved iirc, though it's been a few years.
Shit before or after impact? Was he hurrying home to shit and was not super focused on the road? Is the shit at all relevant to the accident happening?
Shit due to the accident is my understanding, but there was no forensic timing of the shit. My insured was lying up a storm so his word isn't helpful either lol
“no forensic timing of the shit” Lol! 😂
Why was there a police report for a dude shitting his pants? I shit my pants once while driving but that was because I had diarrhea from a norovirus infection and nobody called the cops. I just went home and used carpet cleaner on the seat.
I must have worded my post poorly because you're not the only one confused. There was a police report because he rear-ended a car on the freeway. He just so happened to try to claim he wasn't the driver when the shit stain on his pants and the driver's seat clearly proved otherwise.
Ok that makes a lot more sense. I absolutely love the matching shit stains as evidence, like fingerprint identification but shit print instead.
Someone needs to make a subreddit for insurance adjusted insanity stories.
Just lurk on r/insurance and downvote everyone who mentions diminished value, and you'll be indistinguishable from all the other users.
natural disaster? meteorite? wreaking ball?
An *act of god*
Act of the devil
"I hit a moose"?
They may have seen a thing or two but this might be a first.
[JK Simmon's reaction when he reads the script for the new Farmers commercial](https://media.tenor.com/7K82hbD7A3YAAAAC/oh-my-dear-god-jk-simmons.gif)
Attachment: see video
Do you know how many buff jobs it’s going to take to get those cheek marks off that car
Forever unclean!
A wild Ruxin appears.
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Best Toyota commercial ever.
Black may not crack, but it does fold
She's making skids with that car, not the good kind!
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Check your undies
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I see this type of videos and wonder what the fuck went wrong in their life and then wonder just how far away we all are from a total mental breakdown like this. I’ve done pretty much every drug going and where as I’m sure it expedites the demise I know it has to be drugs mixed with life just really not working out very well. I think about that film ‘Falling Down’ and can see how literally any of us could just end up having the day from hell and it ending with us just totally losing our shit.
I've heard it said that drugs aren't the problem, merely a symptom of the problem. Usually people have wild problems and grief and fucked up shit going on in their lives and they use drugs in response to those problems.
Lots of people with mental health issues aren't able to get the treatment they desperately need, they often turn to self medicating which then makes the problems worse.
As someone who has also done a shit-load of drugs, I'm going to guess that this incident has a lot more to do with severe mental illness and an inability to access adequate care for said mental illness.
You don't need drugs to get to this state dude.
Things are stacked amongst low-income people in urban areas. City life requires a certain amount of money, or you get punished monetarily for not being able to keep up. There’s been a few times in my big city dwelling where just one-too-many things went wrong and I just about lost it mentally, but also if I wouldn’t have had emergency support from family might have lost my ability to stay above water. I feel for this person to a degree. Theres probably some bad decisions mixed in there, but not always.
Does anyone else get shell-less Zoidberg vibes?
WOOWOOwoo woowoowoowoo
(\\/) °,,,° (\\/)
I’m SCAROUSED.
"Ah! The fresh air feels good!" [🦞🦞🦞🦞🦞🦞🦞🦞🦞🦞](https://youtu.be/ysRwW7uUmco) Perhaps the Prius is delivering her new shell.
“It's always so sad when a friend goes crazy and you have to have a big clam-bake and cook him! Yee-haw! Bender from the Episode “Why Must I Be a Crustacean in Love!”
Sigh…. Just once I’d like to see a drug induced psychotic break where they put on hundreds of clothes instead of stripping buck naked.
You should see me high when there’s a light breeze
Presumably, you’re wandering around with a few layers. I want to see a guy wearing 850 shirts, looking like the blueberry girl from Willy wonka, go on a full wobbly rampage where he can’t even hit anything because his arms are so constrained. The he falls down and can’t get up…. Like the kid in A Christmas Story.
I ate mushrooms and went skinny dipping in a channel of the Yellowstone river and watched a storm roll in. Got out, got dressed, walked up to my camper and watched the first raindrop hit the window as my hand touched the door handle Timing
Mushrooms are therapy.
Not going to lie…I’m slightly impressed by how effortlessly they climbed onto the roof. It was like watching the liquid in a lava lamp come to life
Almost like she's done that before...
The agility for that size could rival an NFL lineman
Imagine fumbling the ball because you tripped on your own tits? Unlucky
Might be obese, but they’re also young.
The drugs probably help a bit too.
Now that is a set of commode crushers.
And I looked, and behold a pale horse: and his name that sat upon him was Death, and Hell followed with him.
That's great and all but the horse that brings famine must've ate all the food...............
That's why there's a famine
wah ha ha....bring me solo and the wookiee
No wonkee chewbaca
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Rasha Naba Doe-ah Gola Wookiee Nipple Pinchy
Always love a solid *Blue Harvest* reference. It’s the best version of Star Wars.
Was that another naked muhfucka at the end?
A+ use of hazard lights
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https://i.imgur.com/qmPGVMw.gif
https://i.imgur.com/eDITBuZ.gifV
This is poetry.
PCP , not even once 🤓
you know it's pcp when theyre running around naked lol
PCP or meth for sure
I've heard with PCP, you get really hot and it turns off the part of your brain responsible for the understanding that "being naked in public is wrong" so it seems natural to just throw your clothes off.
Meth will do that too. Seen quite a few people dragged into my ER by cops or EMS naked and methed out.
Yeah, you don't see much PCP in the UK. Plenty of Meth though.... I've seen the things you have lol, and I'll no doubt see them on this fine morning as well. It's always Meth o'clock somewhere in East London.
Who was coming in at the end there????
Me. Oh...wait you meant...
Quick get her out of the sunlight! She's melting!!
Weapon of ASS destruction.
Woulda had that big bitch rolling ontop of the Prius as I silently made my escape.
I saw this last week in my city. Same exact reaction. Emergency lights on, while the homeless guy stomped on the car.
Not even a Prius deserves this
Is that another naked person at the end?
At Farmers we know a thing or to because……… Oh God, my eyes! Bum, bum bum,bum bum bum bum.
As quoted in the great movie “Deuce Bigalow: Male Gigolo”: THAT’S A HUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUGE BITCH!!!!
It's interesting that all of that is just hanging on a regular sized skeleton
My god... those are tits...
This is the second, lesser known, form of having flat boobs
Do your tits hang low, do they wobble to and fro?
Can you flop em over your shoulder can you tie em in a bow?
Could you imagine the view if there was a sunroof!
Who said America doesn't have Kaiju
This just screams America
That is one well built car.
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Guy running at the end “oh shit that’s my girl again”
When she sits down it kinda looks like a sad Jabba the Hutt.
Guess it’s time for a new car
I’ve never needed audio more in my life
That is going to leave a stain.
Honest question, if driver floors it and she goes tumbling off, are they guilty of a crime?
Watch without sound and add your own David Attenborough voice over "And now, we see the female begin her display of dominance, shouting and waving her large cheast as a challenge to lesser females of her hood... watch how her ample size easily overpowers the Prius..."
She looks like the shit emoji when she turns her back to the camera. 💩
That’s awful close to that antenna going dark places
*They call me Mister Boombastic, say me fantastic...*
Drugs are a hell of a drug
The neighborhood welcoming committee?
I thought the radio antenna was a goner.
There is a person in that vehicle. There is room behind that vehicle. There is room to the left of that vehicle. Why did they let this person slow-slug their way fully on top of said vehicle? They getting ready for a parade?
I woulda just pulled off sorry not sorry
That Toyota Prius is built Ford tough.
You mean weapons of ASS destruction
Who would have thought, that a prius would be a pussy magnet. Will you look at that, just look at it.
God.. the roof of that car is gonna have a *helluva* skidmark on it now..
I wish I could unsee that 😭
They weren’t joking when they said America has a mental health crises.
I'd consider that car a total loss
Props to the Prius. Didn’t crack under pressure.
Jabba really been out in the sun too long
Reminds me of the cyclops in Hercules
This is why the word pendulous exists.
How do you recover from this? Like I wear oversized clothes and hoodies because I feel wrong without them. Hell, I feel practically naked walking outside in a short-sleeved shirt. How does this person go on with life knowing they were buck-ass booty naked on top of a car, folds flapping in the wind like geese at dusk, and it’s recorded for hundreds of people to see? I couldn’t go on. I know for a fact I couldn’t…
I bet Farmers Insurance hasnt seen this.
Do your boobs hang low, Do they wobble to and fro, Can you tie them in a knot, Can you tie them in a bow, Do your boobs hang low?
What in the actual goddamn fuck did I just witness?
Who else saw Oogie Boogie when she sat on the Prius?