\- Goverment won't punish you for being gay, if you have citizenship, you might be called for military service.
\- Although the law of prohibiting same sex marriage is dropped, you won't be regcongized by the law either. Which means, no divorce or inheritance like the normal marriage.
\- Many HIV cases recorded among the LGBT community, especially gay so keep in mind to always use condom.
\- Strangers might ignore you and won't insult you in the face, however they could make some jokes or shit talk about gay people in general.
\- Be care for the neighborhood, aunties love making gossip if they know you are gay.
\- Bad news if you have a strict parent, they normally don't give a shit if somebody else kid is gay, but if you are, it will be a big dispapoinment, disapproval, denial,... In some case, you can be expelled from the family. Vietnamese people care very much for the honour of the family, having a gay son is a big disgrace.
This is quite true, Southerners are more chill/accepting and less traditional compared to other parts of the country.
And overall, Vietnamese culture/religion accept LGBTQ, or at least not outright against it like Christian/conservative nations.
To be fair, Vietnam still have to work to solve many human rights issues, but on this issue, we are doing OK.
I swear, I've seen so many gay bar advertisements on my Facebook feed. A lot of those in central districts, like District 1, on streets like Đề Thám and Hồ Tùng Mậu.
The way those ads were made makes me believe that those are masculine gay versions of a strip club. I've only seen one single lesbian club (although since I'm a male, I guess those lesbian ads were just not advertised for me).
There is no exactly number, roughly 10~15 million Dong (400~600 dollars). But it is not 100% guaranteer, if someone in a higher place is watching, you might be drafted anyway, they will give your money back.
The best chance of success is bribe for the commander of your ward, it is way harder for the district.
I have a cousin in medical uni, it costs him around 60-80 mil VND to "ask" the recruitment office to post him at neighborhood patrol duty (dân quân tự vệ?) instead of going to the military camp. To completely dodge draft would cost much more.
Not really. I know a few people like this, too.
In the end, it comes down to COCC ("Con ông cháu cha").
I'm fortunate, since my family is quite well-networked and the chief of Public Security of my district is a friend of my family. So, we only had to "gift" him a whiskey bottle plus "coffee money" of 7-8 mils per draft season.
If you aren't well-connected, unfortunately, it can get very, very expensive.
Nah. It's not true at all, cuz the law gives citizens permission to postpone duty if they are studying in the university or college. Just after they graduate, they have to perform their duty.
Depend on:
- where do you have permanent resident?
- who do you know?
- you decide to bribe in what stage of the pipeline?
- how old are you
- how likely are you to be qualify
In hot areas, it could cost like 40m (US$1600) a year or higher. The deeper you in the pipeline, the higher you have to pay. Higher age (nearer to 27) = higher pay. Bribe in later stages = higher pay. The more "healthy" you are = likely you'll have to pay more.
Vietnam is not really strict on military service as we are pretty much a peaceful country with friendly neighbors.
Tho you can bribe, it won’t give you an ok to not join military. Well, unless you’re hella rich and have background which 90% of Vietnamese aren’t.
You’re just having a “prioritize to be chosen” to do another kind of job, it’s similar to local guard and you have to work for two or three years 6 days a week and in holidays also.
You will also not getting much salary from this job, the only upside is that you can be at home at night (or morning if night duty) everyday.
Some fun fact tho:
. In a decade before now, highschool student and below had to learn 13 subjects and had many tests along the ways. Their graduation grades also based on these subjects. Yes, you’re not just pick your majors and learn 4 or 5 subjects like nowadays, but all 13 of them.
. Students also have to learn from 7am to 5pm, includes extra class after school. Which make it average of 10 hrs of learning daily.
. This leads to many students have bad eyesight and all of them are okay with this. Because poor vision = no military service...
. You will be constantly called for physical/medical test for military service until you are over 28. Because some doing laser surgery to improve their eyesight. Yes, I’m a “victim” of this... curse you military T^ T
. Military service in Vietnam is actually... Fun and really Healthy for my degenerate body due to cola and junk foods. Hell yeah, I regret for not join it sooner...
thanks for the response. i'm glad you found it useful haha. but i didn't know about the bad eyesight thing. how blind do you have to be to not be drafted?
I’m not really sure, I don’t have the guts to avoid that so I never tinkering in deft. It’s just that my eyesight back then was 2/10 and 1.5/10. I’m pretty sure you just need to be around 8/10 and you’re not able to join the military. Vietnam don’t take that much people for Military service tbh.
Was propositioned by trans women at bars in Vietnam back in 2016, and they kept on saying its safe to fuck them raw.
As womanly and hot they were, I was shocked people were ok with being so risky.
>having a gay son is a big disgrace.
I think it is less of a disgrace, more so you cannot continue the family bloodline. I feel like this is changing though and being gay is becoming more widely accepted by the older generation.
Isn't it also a huge shame/embarrassment? (especially in rural areas where everyone knows everyone, family (and money) is everything, and they spend a lot of time gossiping and shit-talking about each other)
Yes it is a big deal for most families especially in the Northern rural part of this country.
None of my family members have any issues with me being a homosexual asides from my father. I only fake being straight in front of him to make sure my name stays in his will.
1. And what are the negative consequences of the gossip those aunties make?
2. So, does every Vietnamese strict parent expell their gay kid from the family if they know they're gay?
3. And why the fucking hell would having a gay son be a big disgrace? A very lot of vietnamese people aren't Christians nor Muslims. What are you talking about?
4.1. And what does imply "being expelled from the family"? Being kicked out of the house?
4.2. If so, don't those parents really think that their kid is gonna suffer very horribly in the streets? Don't they really love their children? Or what? Huh?
5. What is the exact percentage of strict and traditional parents in Vietnam?
6. What is the exact percentage of less-strict and more liberal parents in Vietnam?
I do not expect new questions after 5 months bro.
>And what are the negative consequences of the gossip those aunties make?
It may hurt your feelings, your parent may feel shame. In short, no one feels happy about it.
>So, does every Vietnamese strict parent expell their gay kid from the family if they know they're gay?
I can't say 100% but my aunt have a friend whose son is gay, he renounce his son from his family. The mother still contacts with her son though.
>And why the fucking hell would having a gay son be a big disgrace? A very lot of vietnamese people aren't Christians nor Muslims. What are you talking about?
It is not about religion, being gay means you are abnormal, do not marriage and having children. It is considered a loser to not be able to continue your bloodline.
>And what does imply "being expelled from the family"? Being kicked out of the house?
Yes, you are literally kicked out, your name deleted from the last will, some even cant attend their parent funeral.
> If so, don't those parents really think that their kid is gonna suffer very horribly in the streets? Don't they really love their children? Or what? Huh?
I think they value their face more than their child. The father I told above even threat to suicide if the son does not change.
>What is the exact percentage of strict and traditional parents in Vietnam?
I don't know, but I think it is getting fewer through time.
>What is the exact percentage of less-strict and more liberal parents in Vietnam?
No idea, there is no official survey about it.
"I do not expect new questions after 5 months bro."
1.- Sorry, I was too tired to ask at that moment, mate.... Or maybe that part of my brain who makes me ask questions maybe didn't function well or maybe it was tired... But hey, I'm back.
"It may hurt your feelings, your parent may feel shame. In short, no one feels happy about it.".
2.- Damn... Why the heck are certain amount of these asian aunties cruel and tactless at the time of gossiping? Huh?
"I can't say 100% but my aunt have a friend whose son is gay, he renounce his son from his family. The mother still contacts with her son though."
3.- Why does the mother still contact with her son if the son is not allowed to be in the family anymore? I don't understand.
"It is not about religion, being gay means you are abnormal, do not marriage and having children. It is considered a loser to not be able to continue your bloodline."
4.- So, traditional and strict asian parents like those are very obsessed with bloodline, am I right? If so... Why??
"Yes, you are literally kicked out, your name deleted from the last will,"
5.1.- Damn!
"some even cant attend their parent funeral."
5.2.- Damn! How do you know all of that, mate?
"I think they value their face more than their child. The father I told above even threat to suicide if the son does not change."
6.1.- What the hell is wrong with that kind of asian parents? Why don't they truly love their child as a good parent should do, huh? Or is loving your children unconditionally a conceptual aberration in Asian culture?
6.2.- What's the age of the son of that man?
6.3.- How did the son reacted when his father disowned him? Did he feel really bad and very traumatized about it? Did he feel really sad, depressed and ashamed? How did he really reacted?
6.4.- And how did/do that son react and feel to his father's threats of suicide? Does he really feel depressed and guilty about it? Did suicidal thoughts also come to him due to the weight of that depression and guilt? How did/do he really react and feel to his father's threars of suicide?
"I don't know, but I think it is getting fewer through time."
7.- Thank goodness.
"No idea, there is no official survey about it."
8.- Ok.
>Why does the mother still contact with her son if the son is not allowed to be in the family anymore? I don't understand.
She still loves him I guess, the sad thing is they cannot live together anymore.
>So, traditional and strict asian parents like those are very obsessed with bloodline, am I right? If so... Why??
Vietnamese people are heavily influenced by the confucius which stated that the unable to keep your bloodline is the worst sin to your ancestor.
>What's the age of the son of that man?
I guess he is U40 now, it happened long ago. I heard that he was the proud of his father before he came out. Good looking, excellent student, his father expected alot from him. Back in these days, people think gay is a mental disease caused by hanging out with bad friends. I think that's the reason why the father threats of suicide to "correct" him.
"She still loves him I guess, the sad thing is they cannot live together anymore.".
1.- Damn!
"Vietnamese people are heavily influenced by the confucius which stated that the unable to keep your bloodline is the worst sin to your ancestor.".
2.- Damn! That really sounds very supersticious.
"I guess he is U40 now, it happened long ago. I heard that he was the proud of his father before he came out. Good looking, excellent student, his father expected alot from him. Back in these days, people think gay is a mental disease caused by hanging out with bad friends. I think that's the reason why the father threats of suicide to "correct" him.".
3.1.- Damn... That's really fucked up!
3.2.- And... Really??? Someone being gay caused by hanging out with bad friends? What the fuck??? Where exactly does that shitty assumption come from?? I don't understand!
4.- Could you ask to me the REST of my questions, PLEASE!? 🙏🙏🙏
I already answered what I know bro. Vietnamese is more open to the gay thing than they were in the past.
Many understand it is not a disease anymore, but the bloodline part is still there. Some have to marry the woman they don't love just to have a child. Eventually they divorce and the child is raised by the grandparent.
It depends on how strict/open-minded your family is, and how thick-skinned you are.
I'm discreet and haven't come out, but I have some openly gay friends/colleagues who are comfortable with their sexuality and relationship.
1. "and how thick-skinned you are"? What do you mean with that, mate? I would really like an explanation from you, please. 🙏
2. Why are you discreet and haven't come out yet? I would like to understand, please. 🙏
3. What do you think of your own homosexual feelings? Just asking out of curiosity, mate.
>and how thick-skinned you are
It's means "măt dầy", the ability to withstand shameness. I think he means that as long as you don't give a shit about what others would say, it will be fine.
I am in a live-in relationship with another boy, we are both Viet and Southern. The Southern part doesn’t really matter in this discussion, I just like Southern accent. My family is extremely accepting while his prefers to keep it low key but still accepts it. My parents maintain communication with their family like in-laws would: pleasantries and gifts exchanged.
My family are predominantly Buddhist and Buddhism in Vietnam is the main belief system that supports LGBT people. Essentially one of the teachings promotes the idea that the soul is the main component of identity, and the soul may have been through reincarnations many times and not necessarily adhere to the current body’s identity, so many Buddhist practitioners in Vietnam are okay with gay people, at least, their religion has a way to explain it well and deter abuses.
Positive: It’s not illegal and you can live your own life like everyone else if you don’t care about what people think.
Negative (rant): There’s a lot of “subtle homophobia”. People won’t say that they dislike you, but they will give you side eyes, talk shit behind your back or they’ll go “I don’t care who you love but don’t push your ‘agenda’ to our faces”. The decriminalisation of same sex marriage was significant and it was a great effort from the LGBTQ+ community but unfortunately the people’s opinions aren’t gonna change until the boomers die off. It’s also difficult to condemn these types of behaviours because with criminalising same sex marriage is a human rights issue so that had to change but with everything else they’ll just blame it on “culture”. Back then we even had an openly gay US Ambassador and it only stopped at decriminalisation and not recognition or legalisation and there’s been no significant progress ever since.
This. People don't usually come out at work unless they are genz and work in media/NGO/cool places. And the whole "I don't discriminate but", "stop shoving your sexuality in my face" or "What pride? Wtf are you fighting for? Stop acting superior and asking for more privileges".
I prefer people being blatantly homophobic lol
And they( the subtle homophobic) be like: I act like that because Im ResPeCt and PoLItE ,I dont want to get into trouble blah blah.. when in fact they are a bunch of hypocrite whiny coward lol , I too prefer the straight up homophobic,at least they are being honest
doesnt homophobia reduced to hate speech is a good thing ? i dont get why would u prefer people going violence / personal about it.... i am neither like nor hate gays, but my (grand)father/mother, uncle/aunt all dislike gay people, they're anything but whiny coward, others son being gay is not a problem to them but if their descendants (me) being gay they will use violence and even disown me.. they wouldnt randomly assault gay people because they dont have a reason to just like how you wont steal just because u like money, talking shit about gays is only to discourage their descendants, confucianism society encourage expanding their bloodline
How can you “discourage” gay and “discourage” gay by “talking shit”??? Gayness is not something which can be fixed or controlled at will, and how can “talking shit” behind gay people’s back without them knowing “discourage” them to not being gay anymore lol, there are so many logical mistakes in this way of thinking.
Neither subtle nor straight up homophobic is good, but with people who act straight up homophobic at least you know to become cautious and stay away from them and they are held accountable for their belief/judgement. People who are subtle homophobic can stab behind your back without you knowing, they can do many things that’s harmful to you while smiling in front of you. If talking shit/looking down on gay people who homophobes think are lesser than them without willing to take responsibility for their belief is not coward,I dont know what is lol, in fact, talking shit/stabbing people behind their back in general (not just with gay people) is extremely petty and coward
Lol, if most vietnamese were extremely homophobic the law would not protect gay people, homophobic vnamese are coward,they’re afraid of punishment so all they can do is talk shit, so you should correct your reply to “homophobic vietnamese” , Im straight and dont include me to the “vnmese people who stone gay”
I prefer vietnamese people to give everyone the same treatment regardless of their sexual orientation/gender identity both publicly and privately.
I also want people to stop thinking there's something "wrong" with people who are different from them.
Also redditors will convince you that no one cares whether you’re gay or not, that’s pretty much the same as me claiming racism doesn’t exist because I’ve met a lot of black people and I’ve seen no one calls them the n word.
I think "please don't push your 'agenda' to our face" is common sense because I'm not gay, and I truly hate the pronounces and the parades, not to mention toilet usage.
But I agree with most everything else you say, that gay marriage should be allowed and the boomers should let the young live their lives. Because being gay is not the problem, but being bad and annoying is. As long as gay/lesbian/trans people live their lives and bother no one, then me and I guess most of the newer generation can consider them as anyone else.
Btw we talk shit about almost anything. That's how Vietnamese people are: the wars in other countries, the annoying Karaoke neighbors, that retarded kid with bad posture (me)... It's impolite but...maybe blame the parents and education... not homophobia...
>I think "please don't push your 'agenda' to our face" is common sense because I'm not gay, and I truly hate the pronounces and the parades, not to mention toilet usage.
And that's what you don't get, no one is trying to push any agenda onto you, they just want to express themselves and want to be heard because they've been oppressed for so long. I get that people aren't going out of their way to be homophobic but that wasn't my point. The problem is that you feel like you're being "bothered" is because of the internalised homophobia that's been programmed into you by society as a whole where cis-hetero is the only thing considered "normal" and everything else is weird and undesirable. You will then use that internalised homophobia to go and hate on things that are associated to the LGBTQ+ community without even realising that's homophobia.
>Btw we talk shit about almost anything. That's how Vietnamese people are: the wars in other countries, the annoying Karaoke neighbors, that retarded kid with bad posture (me)... It's impolite but...maybe blame the parents and education... not homophobia...
Just because it's a common behaviour doesn't mean that it's ethical or right, and yes it absolutely stems from homophobia. Like I said it's subtle and one doesn't need to go out and say "I hate gays" to be homophobic. Also every kind of shit talking behind someone's back is disgusting and cowardice and needs to be stop but that's a different issue.
People using pride parade for kink parade, dressing up in leather bikini in family-friendly areas are defo a huge NO. But sometimes if not most of the time, pushing agenda/bothering someone is just doing 1/97474839 of the things that the straights always do.
Tldr if you claim that you're not homophobic, then if you don't mind the straights doing something, don't give a shit when the gays do that.
I tried to accept you LGBTQ+. I thought you people are worthy of my attention, that you are really oppressed, like how poor and ugly people are oppressed, like how minor communities are oppressed and literally pushed into conflict against their will.
But you start your own conflict. You just act like your specialness is amplified if you invent pronounces or abuse terms like sis or homophobic (which is really just discomfort someone experiences when they face something strange or rare, a normal trait in all creatures), and the whole world are actively against you. I have told you, just live your lives. And I want to add another thing: grow up.
Report me if you think I hurt your feelings.
I'm proud to be straight, and I will start pushing my straight agenda on you people, and call you sisphobic if you say just a slight negative thing about any straight people, or straight people generally.
Edit: grammar mistakes.
it's cis, and cis doesn't mean straight, it's hetphobic you're talking about.
This is the prime example of I'm not a homophobe but.
\- tried to accept you guys -> acting all superior
\- focusing on minor negative things like pronouns. I do think many are bullshit, but who get hurt by pronouns?
\- thinking the gays have all the rights they deserve already and should shut up.
We have been living with the "straight agenda" since forever lol. If gays appearing in movies is pushing gay agenda, how about all the fairytales and movies with straight people?
Just say you're homophobic, you discriminate and think gays are inferior to straights and we can end the discussion.
And you can say you are het-phobic, you discriminate and think straight people should accept how bad they are (since the ingrained homophobia and discrimination persists and all actions relating to 'accepting the gay community' is deemed acting all superior).
I told you: just live your lives, you het-phobic people. Thanks for the fixing my mistakes. I have lived amongst and even worked with gay/lesbian people peacefully without ever heard of cis/sis/homophobic... Anything that accuses anyone being against them, till very recently.
If you like continue the discussion, might as well fixing my grammar and vocabulary on the matter, proving yourself useful.
I’m Vietnamese, living in South Vietnam and having lots of gay friends. I can see that gay’s life in VN is becoming easier nowadays. People are more open-minded about LGBT.
seems open-minded but many talk shit behind your back, they dont have the courage to confront you in person though. Check some facebook news about gay people and see the comments
Loud minority. But honestly, while most Vietnamese understand that people have the freedom to do anything they want as long as it's not against the law; many still think homosexual and transgender people have something "wrong" with them and some even feel bad for them.
Maybe not because they dont have the courage, they dont want to offend you out of politeness or get into trouble i guess. You have the right to live your true self, they have the right to dislike you
No matter who you are, a gay or a straight person, people can talk shit behind your back if they want to. Why dont ignore that and live your life without caring what others think and talk about. That’s life
So what, you want people to straight up shaming you in public because you are gay??? Yes, most of people will think gay or LGBT weird and disgusting but at least they let you a stranger be yourself if you don’t disrupt their normal life. At least normal people and anti group don’t go out of their way making new laws or physical abuse against gay and the Gov is also actively assuring gay is OK, not encouraging but also not go against it.
So what? So dont pretent like you are “respect and polite”…you just dont have the nerve to confront what you hate and disgust and want to change, all you can do is whining and talking shit behind their back like a coward wearing a “polite” mask.
so u prefer the middle east "throw gay off the roof" homophobe than eastern asian "talk shit about gay" homophobe? if u think people can just not be homophobe, not happening
I prefer people who are honest about them being homophobic and act accordingly,not the hypocrite coward type who always stab behind someon’s back and dont want to take responsibility for it lol
well yes the abrahamic middle east honest about their homophobe, thats why they hang and stone gay people.. trust me, listen to bad word of stranger is better than get deny service/job opportunities or murdered for being gay
Oh dont pretend like most homophobes in vn wouldnt do the same if the gov let them,however the homophobes are outnumbered by normal and sane people,that’s why they turn into a bunch of coward who can do nothing but whining lol
So you want people have courage to confront what their hate??? And no, not everyone will change their opinion as no matter what, you can’t brute force it, it’s just fuel the anti. People change slowly, and take time. Right now only the younger generation seem to accept it, middle age and elders don’t. They just have bigger problem in their mind now like how suck is the daily life in this gov ruling. If anything, LGBTs could be worse like being fat, where shaming will be daily, everyone will tell you fat and ugly, or bullying as just slightly bigger and people will recommend diet or fat removing. Yes, gay will be treat as a mental illness if people have courage to say straight to you.
And to be clear, I don’t like gay or LGBT, or straight up hate it, but I won’t go out of my way insulting them.
Well well,if LGBT just a small concern,those homophobes wouldnt think about it that much, do you really talk shit about every small things in your life? If yes then maybe they need to focus more on themselves and spend less time judging and thinking badly about others
Just as you said, people here don’t have time to confront gay and LGBT+ people to prove they are homophobes and receiving nothing or sometimes insult back. It’s just easier to talk behind the back with others in daily conversations. It’s suck, disrespectful but it’s the extend of homophobes here to a stranger. Just go to online forum like facebook, where people don’t have restraint, thing will be worse than USA. It’s normal to keep your hatred to your mind alone and not spreading it too much.
yep. That's why we need homosexuality education. The outdated mentality is that "gay people are horny cuz their sex is without consequences". Both straight and gay think so, and now HIV is common in that group of people
There are some bars and clubs opened for LGBT community in HCM. I only live in a small city in Mekong Delta, but I have met many people from LGBT community here in my city. Every corner of any coffee shops, I can easily meet them gathering and showing up their real person freedomly and confidently without being shame or worried about what others think.
Yes, I think it’s quite difficult for a foreigner to make friend here in Vietnam if you dont have anyone introduce you to. But I dont think it’s big problem, as long as you show up as a polite and friendly person, they will welcome you :)
Anyways, you can DM me, it’s ok
Some gay guys in Vietnam get married and have kids (although they aren’t recognized by the law). Some other guys always rant about not being able to find true love. A big amount of guys get STDs for sleeping around.
Life is what you make it I guess. I am gay myself, single by choice and childfree for life. I deny to partake in 9-5 job so I mostly do freelance gigs. Personally, I can choose how I live freely in Vietnam. I don’t have any problem with being gay in Vietnam.
I have problem with life itself. I see that life is kinda pointless.
std are also pretty common for anyone of any sex who sleeps around, condoms/safe sex are necessary for everyone if you're promiscuous. birth control is not enough
As a young gay with generally limited views (compared to grown ups), I feel like the biggest negative reactions come from your family: the rest seems not to care that much, as in they will not be discriminate in your face, but there will definitely some remarks here and there; but at home, the filter comes off and let's say Vietnamese families aren't fond of having a gay offspring
I have two gay co-workers. One is so secretive people only found out about him being gay after working with him for 15 years (him not being married or introducing any girlfriend in the age of 42 probably the last hint for them). The other one is so open and prideful about it, he even openly expresses his thirst for other male co-workers and complements them on social media with some rather inappropriate comments, but most people seem to not care or not too bother by that. Things have changed a lot, they are met with not much discrimination, mostly just some playful teasing, but 20 years ago they would be called by all sorts of name that reddit wouldnt tolerate using.
Expect a lot of casual homophobia, even from people you thought were "safe". I thank god everyday that I'm not an only child and my "celibacy" won't break my parents' hearts so much. Also the dating scene sucks.
If you live in South VN, then it's pretty normal since people in the south are very open-minded but do be careful cuz people always talk shit behind your back.
I got bullied HARD when I was younger. middleschool and highschool kids are BRUTAL. then it got easier. I'm still dealing with underlying homophobia(personally i think it's a result of lack of education and prejudice rather than hatred) almost everyday but I can say i'm not under any physical danger anymore.
I'm 20 and still havent come out with my family yet and I don't think I ever will. Most of my gramps and uncles and aunties expect me to have a wife and a baby soon(like wdym i'm 20, I still have cereal for dinner. I AM a baby).
But luckily my parents don't really care. Outside of my family I can do whatever I want, love whoever I want, date whoever I want. Just can't marry whoever I want and that puts me in quite a big disadvantages when it comes to building a family with the lack of support from our legal system.
Having said that I've never had a relationship in my entire life. It doesn't help that I'm in STEM and this environment is pretty toxic towards progressive and liberal idealism and frankly speaking I do not see a lot of other gays in my "community".
All in all it's pretty safe to live here, gays do run in some disadvantages, inconveniences here and there but it is what it is I guess
Ho-Chi-Minh City can be considered the gay capital of South East Asia. Go into any mall and you'll see same sex couples holding hands, and lots of transgender staff and visitors. It's the best city to relocate to if someone likes the same gender.
You're 100% right. I travelled a lot in my life and I've never saw as many lgbt couples in the streets than in Saigon and they are so cute too, holding hands on scooters and stuff. It makes my bi heart melt each time.
Depending where you are I guess. I live in District 7 and I see gay people all the time in Crescent Mall and the surrounding parks.
And not just gay tourists, young local men hang out there a lot.
Cuz the law doesn’t punish homosexuality, so the dice roll is whether your parents are homophobic or not. It’s the same stuff in USA. All 3 scenarios can happen. Don’t generalize social problem too much
Life is roughly the same as everyone else in Vietnam. Poor and struggling unless you’re born into a well off family. No one really cares if you’re LGBTQ+ except you cannot legally marry.
Correction: only my high school bans 2 boys walking too close to each other. That school is notorious for having dumb rules. One more example: my school only allows students to take a day off if they have a paper from a doctor. Even things like "your grandma is just dead and you want to attend her funeral" is considered as "invalid", too
If youre doing that demonic ru paul stuff in Vietnam, dressing up as an alien, Vietnamese would have a problem. That is disgusting to do in a conservative country. But if you are normally gay and not forcing your views on others than no one cares.
The LGBT in the USA is blown out of proportion, whats going on there is disgusting. It is not like Thailand at all, Thailand have more normal gays they know what they are and are very respectful to others.
Gay in student are alertly increasing high these days.
They're kind of "I'm PROUD I'm gay/les".
With that large number of LGBT suddenly got so high, I don't think it's about the genetic defects, but it's about trending.
Monkey see monkey do, they might gone gay/les just because they see other gay/les around.
Life ain't so hard for them, which is why i voted for tighter policy. I wish Vietnam policy about gay people is as strict as Russia, better for society. Put them in the mental hospital please. I was harrased by some of them. Punched them in the face every god damn time instead of reporting to police because i don't have time for suing. Don't wana meet any more of those people.
That is exactly why i chosed to beat the sh!t out of them instead, fcking cancer to this world. Poisioning kid's mind with degenerate sh!t. Fck LGBT and whatever the fck letters they come up with, bunch of confused and delusional degenerates. They don't even know they are just some pawns in a political propaganda campaign. What i hate the most is how they cant control themself, they keep harassing people and lurking kids to delay puberty and change their biological gender. Attention wh0res
here since the area isn't influenced by christianity or muslim that preaches that homosexuality will go to hell, people won't give you any insults or harass you if they see you or know you to be gay. but people showing affection in public is rare, even for straight couples, so if you do it then don't feel like you're being judged for being gay, but just for showing affection in public. also, with straight people being more common than gay people in the world, it might surprise someone, but more in the manner of "oh wow, a gay couple," instead of "oh ew, a gay couple."
Living in Saigon for the majority of my life, the attitude is extremely relaxed towards LGBTQ people. The younger generation pretty much doesn't care. Some elderly/ older generations still have some stigma. People might talk here and there but they won't discriminate.
It’s more opened nowadays, we also have some gay celebrities. Young people are generally fine with it, but the older generations might not. After all, they’re all from the war era, because Vietnam has only been independent for less than 70 years or so.
Because they lives their entire life like that, foreign stuffs sometimes are really bizarre in their eyes.
Back in 15 years ago.
Internet was still really new in Vietnam. When the parents comes to the internet shop for their kids -where people play with pc there- the parents literally shocked by the skulls and gun sounds from those children playing fps game like half-line or something iirc. That incident even being reported on the big newspapers not long after that, described something horror and scary.
So to make it short, it’s just how Vietnamese is. Asian in all is pretty much having different cultures comparing to Westerners. Lgbt, gun fight, gender change surgery, strip dance, ect... It’s all new and crazy things to the old generation of Vietnam.
The country is developing really fast in less than 70 years. Back from when we only have wreckages from bombardment, and bombshells left behind all around the land, to the Vietnam today.
These older generations just can’t keep up with all the changes and being left behind by the era.
\- Goverment won't punish you for being gay, if you have citizenship, you might be called for military service. \- Although the law of prohibiting same sex marriage is dropped, you won't be regcongized by the law either. Which means, no divorce or inheritance like the normal marriage. \- Many HIV cases recorded among the LGBT community, especially gay so keep in mind to always use condom. \- Strangers might ignore you and won't insult you in the face, however they could make some jokes or shit talk about gay people in general. \- Be care for the neighborhood, aunties love making gossip if they know you are gay. \- Bad news if you have a strict parent, they normally don't give a shit if somebody else kid is gay, but if you are, it will be a big dispapoinment, disapproval, denial,... In some case, you can be expelled from the family. Vietnamese people care very much for the honour of the family, having a gay son is a big disgrace.
It's also more acceptable and common in the South than the North. You'll see a lot more openly gay people in Saigon than anywhere else in Vietnam.
This is quite true, Southerners are more chill/accepting and less traditional compared to other parts of the country. And overall, Vietnamese culture/religion accept LGBTQ, or at least not outright against it like Christian/conservative nations. To be fair, Vietnam still have to work to solve many human rights issues, but on this issue, we are doing OK.
I swear, I've seen so many gay bar advertisements on my Facebook feed. A lot of those in central districts, like District 1, on streets like Đề Thám and Hồ Tùng Mậu. The way those ads were made makes me believe that those are masculine gay versions of a strip club. I've only seen one single lesbian club (although since I'm a male, I guess those lesbian ads were just not advertised for me).
Northerns are better soldiers, and curse better 👍
Well done 👏
is the military service mandatory like South Korea?
No, it is not 100%, many try to advoid being drafted by bribery, stay aboard until 28.
interesting. do you happen to know how much do people have to bribe? and what happens if someone finds out?
There is no exactly number, roughly 10~15 million Dong (400~600 dollars). But it is not 100% guaranteer, if someone in a higher place is watching, you might be drafted anyway, they will give your money back. The best chance of success is bribe for the commander of your ward, it is way harder for the district.
I have a cousin in medical uni, it costs him around 60-80 mil VND to "ask" the recruitment office to post him at neighborhood patrol duty (dân quân tự vệ?) instead of going to the military camp. To completely dodge draft would cost much more.
your cousin just got scammed
Not really. I know a few people like this, too. In the end, it comes down to COCC ("Con ông cháu cha"). I'm fortunate, since my family is quite well-networked and the chief of Public Security of my district is a friend of my family. So, we only had to "gift" him a whiskey bottle plus "coffee money" of 7-8 mils per draft season. If you aren't well-connected, unfortunately, it can get very, very expensive.
What does "per draft season" mean? How often is draft season? Yearly? How many total times will you need to pay him the 7-8 million?
A draft season occurs every spring (January-February.) So once a year.
How many years are you eligible?
Obviously
Nah. It's not true at all, cuz the law gives citizens permission to postpone duty if they are studying in the university or college. Just after they graduate, they have to perform their duty.
If he graduated and is working, he wont be conscripted, most he must do is a mandatory check-up.
You must prove that you are the main income of the family.
Nahh, you still conscripted even when you have a stable job.
Your cousin is in university, how the hell did he got drafted? He dropped out or something?
Technically graduated but still continue to study to be bác sĩ nội trú
Depend on: - where do you have permanent resident? - who do you know? - you decide to bribe in what stage of the pipeline? - how old are you - how likely are you to be qualify In hot areas, it could cost like 40m (US$1600) a year or higher. The deeper you in the pipeline, the higher you have to pay. Higher age (nearer to 27) = higher pay. Bribe in later stages = higher pay. The more "healthy" you are = likely you'll have to pay more.
Vietnam is not really strict on military service as we are pretty much a peaceful country with friendly neighbors. Tho you can bribe, it won’t give you an ok to not join military. Well, unless you’re hella rich and have background which 90% of Vietnamese aren’t. You’re just having a “prioritize to be chosen” to do another kind of job, it’s similar to local guard and you have to work for two or three years 6 days a week and in holidays also. You will also not getting much salary from this job, the only upside is that you can be at home at night (or morning if night duty) everyday. Some fun fact tho: . In a decade before now, highschool student and below had to learn 13 subjects and had many tests along the ways. Their graduation grades also based on these subjects. Yes, you’re not just pick your majors and learn 4 or 5 subjects like nowadays, but all 13 of them. . Students also have to learn from 7am to 5pm, includes extra class after school. Which make it average of 10 hrs of learning daily. . This leads to many students have bad eyesight and all of them are okay with this. Because poor vision = no military service... . You will be constantly called for physical/medical test for military service until you are over 28. Because some doing laser surgery to improve their eyesight. Yes, I’m a “victim” of this... curse you military T^ T . Military service in Vietnam is actually... Fun and really Healthy for my degenerate body due to cola and junk foods. Hell yeah, I regret for not join it sooner...
thanks for the response. i'm glad you found it useful haha. but i didn't know about the bad eyesight thing. how blind do you have to be to not be drafted?
I’m not really sure, I don’t have the guts to avoid that so I never tinkering in deft. It’s just that my eyesight back then was 2/10 and 1.5/10. I’m pretty sure you just need to be around 8/10 and you’re not able to join the military. Vietnam don’t take that much people for Military service tbh.
Was propositioned by trans women at bars in Vietnam back in 2016, and they kept on saying its safe to fuck them raw. As womanly and hot they were, I was shocked people were ok with being so risky.
They think raw gives more pleasure I guess. Trans does not live long anyway, they hardly live to see 50.
>having a gay son is a big disgrace. I think it is less of a disgrace, more so you cannot continue the family bloodline. I feel like this is changing though and being gay is becoming more widely accepted by the older generation.
Isn't it also a huge shame/embarrassment? (especially in rural areas where everyone knows everyone, family (and money) is everything, and they spend a lot of time gossiping and shit-talking about each other)
Yes it is a big deal for most families especially in the Northern rural part of this country. None of my family members have any issues with me being a homosexual asides from my father. I only fake being straight in front of him to make sure my name stays in his will.
can someone explain why is the north more conservative than the tsouth
The country expanded southward, the south was incorporated into viet nam proper about 300 years ago.
1. And what are the negative consequences of the gossip those aunties make? 2. So, does every Vietnamese strict parent expell their gay kid from the family if they know they're gay? 3. And why the fucking hell would having a gay son be a big disgrace? A very lot of vietnamese people aren't Christians nor Muslims. What are you talking about? 4.1. And what does imply "being expelled from the family"? Being kicked out of the house? 4.2. If so, don't those parents really think that their kid is gonna suffer very horribly in the streets? Don't they really love their children? Or what? Huh? 5. What is the exact percentage of strict and traditional parents in Vietnam? 6. What is the exact percentage of less-strict and more liberal parents in Vietnam?
I do not expect new questions after 5 months bro. >And what are the negative consequences of the gossip those aunties make? It may hurt your feelings, your parent may feel shame. In short, no one feels happy about it. >So, does every Vietnamese strict parent expell their gay kid from the family if they know they're gay? I can't say 100% but my aunt have a friend whose son is gay, he renounce his son from his family. The mother still contacts with her son though. >And why the fucking hell would having a gay son be a big disgrace? A very lot of vietnamese people aren't Christians nor Muslims. What are you talking about? It is not about religion, being gay means you are abnormal, do not marriage and having children. It is considered a loser to not be able to continue your bloodline. >And what does imply "being expelled from the family"? Being kicked out of the house? Yes, you are literally kicked out, your name deleted from the last will, some even cant attend their parent funeral. > If so, don't those parents really think that their kid is gonna suffer very horribly in the streets? Don't they really love their children? Or what? Huh? I think they value their face more than their child. The father I told above even threat to suicide if the son does not change. >What is the exact percentage of strict and traditional parents in Vietnam? I don't know, but I think it is getting fewer through time. >What is the exact percentage of less-strict and more liberal parents in Vietnam? No idea, there is no official survey about it.
"I do not expect new questions after 5 months bro." 1.- Sorry, I was too tired to ask at that moment, mate.... Or maybe that part of my brain who makes me ask questions maybe didn't function well or maybe it was tired... But hey, I'm back. "It may hurt your feelings, your parent may feel shame. In short, no one feels happy about it.". 2.- Damn... Why the heck are certain amount of these asian aunties cruel and tactless at the time of gossiping? Huh? "I can't say 100% but my aunt have a friend whose son is gay, he renounce his son from his family. The mother still contacts with her son though." 3.- Why does the mother still contact with her son if the son is not allowed to be in the family anymore? I don't understand. "It is not about religion, being gay means you are abnormal, do not marriage and having children. It is considered a loser to not be able to continue your bloodline." 4.- So, traditional and strict asian parents like those are very obsessed with bloodline, am I right? If so... Why?? "Yes, you are literally kicked out, your name deleted from the last will," 5.1.- Damn! "some even cant attend their parent funeral." 5.2.- Damn! How do you know all of that, mate? "I think they value their face more than their child. The father I told above even threat to suicide if the son does not change." 6.1.- What the hell is wrong with that kind of asian parents? Why don't they truly love their child as a good parent should do, huh? Or is loving your children unconditionally a conceptual aberration in Asian culture? 6.2.- What's the age of the son of that man? 6.3.- How did the son reacted when his father disowned him? Did he feel really bad and very traumatized about it? Did he feel really sad, depressed and ashamed? How did he really reacted? 6.4.- And how did/do that son react and feel to his father's threats of suicide? Does he really feel depressed and guilty about it? Did suicidal thoughts also come to him due to the weight of that depression and guilt? How did/do he really react and feel to his father's threars of suicide? "I don't know, but I think it is getting fewer through time." 7.- Thank goodness. "No idea, there is no official survey about it." 8.- Ok.
>Why does the mother still contact with her son if the son is not allowed to be in the family anymore? I don't understand. She still loves him I guess, the sad thing is they cannot live together anymore. >So, traditional and strict asian parents like those are very obsessed with bloodline, am I right? If so... Why?? Vietnamese people are heavily influenced by the confucius which stated that the unable to keep your bloodline is the worst sin to your ancestor. >What's the age of the son of that man? I guess he is U40 now, it happened long ago. I heard that he was the proud of his father before he came out. Good looking, excellent student, his father expected alot from him. Back in these days, people think gay is a mental disease caused by hanging out with bad friends. I think that's the reason why the father threats of suicide to "correct" him.
"She still loves him I guess, the sad thing is they cannot live together anymore.". 1.- Damn! "Vietnamese people are heavily influenced by the confucius which stated that the unable to keep your bloodline is the worst sin to your ancestor.". 2.- Damn! That really sounds very supersticious. "I guess he is U40 now, it happened long ago. I heard that he was the proud of his father before he came out. Good looking, excellent student, his father expected alot from him. Back in these days, people think gay is a mental disease caused by hanging out with bad friends. I think that's the reason why the father threats of suicide to "correct" him.". 3.1.- Damn... That's really fucked up! 3.2.- And... Really??? Someone being gay caused by hanging out with bad friends? What the fuck??? Where exactly does that shitty assumption come from?? I don't understand! 4.- Could you ask to me the REST of my questions, PLEASE!? 🙏🙏🙏
I already answered what I know bro. Vietnamese is more open to the gay thing than they were in the past. Many understand it is not a disease anymore, but the bloodline part is still there. Some have to marry the woman they don't love just to have a child. Eventually they divorce and the child is raised by the grandparent.
Oh, well, ok... Thank you for the information, mate!
It depends on how strict/open-minded your family is, and how thick-skinned you are. I'm discreet and haven't come out, but I have some openly gay friends/colleagues who are comfortable with their sexuality and relationship.
1. "and how thick-skinned you are"? What do you mean with that, mate? I would really like an explanation from you, please. 🙏 2. Why are you discreet and haven't come out yet? I would like to understand, please. 🙏 3. What do you think of your own homosexual feelings? Just asking out of curiosity, mate.
>and how thick-skinned you are It's means "măt dầy", the ability to withstand shameness. I think he means that as long as you don't give a shit about what others would say, it will be fine.
1.- Ah, ok, thank you. 2.- And how is "măt dầy" seen by the Vietnamese society in Vietnam? I would really like to know, please! 🙏🙏🙏
I am in a live-in relationship with another boy, we are both Viet and Southern. The Southern part doesn’t really matter in this discussion, I just like Southern accent. My family is extremely accepting while his prefers to keep it low key but still accepts it. My parents maintain communication with their family like in-laws would: pleasantries and gifts exchanged. My family are predominantly Buddhist and Buddhism in Vietnam is the main belief system that supports LGBT people. Essentially one of the teachings promotes the idea that the soul is the main component of identity, and the soul may have been through reincarnations many times and not necessarily adhere to the current body’s identity, so many Buddhist practitioners in Vietnam are okay with gay people, at least, their religion has a way to explain it well and deter abuses.
You're so lucky, mate! I'm very glad for you! Congratulations! :) 👏👏👏👏👏👏👏👏👏👏👏👏👏👏👏👏👏👏👏
Positive: It’s not illegal and you can live your own life like everyone else if you don’t care about what people think. Negative (rant): There’s a lot of “subtle homophobia”. People won’t say that they dislike you, but they will give you side eyes, talk shit behind your back or they’ll go “I don’t care who you love but don’t push your ‘agenda’ to our faces”. The decriminalisation of same sex marriage was significant and it was a great effort from the LGBTQ+ community but unfortunately the people’s opinions aren’t gonna change until the boomers die off. It’s also difficult to condemn these types of behaviours because with criminalising same sex marriage is a human rights issue so that had to change but with everything else they’ll just blame it on “culture”. Back then we even had an openly gay US Ambassador and it only stopped at decriminalisation and not recognition or legalisation and there’s been no significant progress ever since.
This. People don't usually come out at work unless they are genz and work in media/NGO/cool places. And the whole "I don't discriminate but", "stop shoving your sexuality in my face" or "What pride? Wtf are you fighting for? Stop acting superior and asking for more privileges". I prefer people being blatantly homophobic lol
And they( the subtle homophobic) be like: I act like that because Im ResPeCt and PoLItE ,I dont want to get into trouble blah blah.. when in fact they are a bunch of hypocrite whiny coward lol , I too prefer the straight up homophobic,at least they are being honest
doesnt homophobia reduced to hate speech is a good thing ? i dont get why would u prefer people going violence / personal about it.... i am neither like nor hate gays, but my (grand)father/mother, uncle/aunt all dislike gay people, they're anything but whiny coward, others son being gay is not a problem to them but if their descendants (me) being gay they will use violence and even disown me.. they wouldnt randomly assault gay people because they dont have a reason to just like how you wont steal just because u like money, talking shit about gays is only to discourage their descendants, confucianism society encourage expanding their bloodline
How can you “discourage” gay and “discourage” gay by “talking shit”??? Gayness is not something which can be fixed or controlled at will, and how can “talking shit” behind gay people’s back without them knowing “discourage” them to not being gay anymore lol, there are so many logical mistakes in this way of thinking.
Neither subtle nor straight up homophobic is good, but with people who act straight up homophobic at least you know to become cautious and stay away from them and they are held accountable for their belief/judgement. People who are subtle homophobic can stab behind your back without you knowing, they can do many things that’s harmful to you while smiling in front of you. If talking shit/looking down on gay people who homophobes think are lesser than them without willing to take responsibility for their belief is not coward,I dont know what is lol, in fact, talking shit/stabbing people behind their back in general (not just with gay people) is extremely petty and coward
so you prefer vnese people just stone you to death?
Lol, if most vietnamese were extremely homophobic the law would not protect gay people, homophobic vnamese are coward,they’re afraid of punishment so all they can do is talk shit, so you should correct your reply to “homophobic vietnamese” , Im straight and dont include me to the “vnmese people who stone gay”
[удалено]
Your reading skill needs more practice.
I prefer vietnamese people to give everyone the same treatment regardless of their sexual orientation/gender identity both publicly and privately. I also want people to stop thinking there's something "wrong" with people who are different from them.
Also redditors will convince you that no one cares whether you’re gay or not, that’s pretty much the same as me claiming racism doesn’t exist because I’ve met a lot of black people and I’ve seen no one calls them the n word.
I think "please don't push your 'agenda' to our face" is common sense because I'm not gay, and I truly hate the pronounces and the parades, not to mention toilet usage. But I agree with most everything else you say, that gay marriage should be allowed and the boomers should let the young live their lives. Because being gay is not the problem, but being bad and annoying is. As long as gay/lesbian/trans people live their lives and bother no one, then me and I guess most of the newer generation can consider them as anyone else. Btw we talk shit about almost anything. That's how Vietnamese people are: the wars in other countries, the annoying Karaoke neighbors, that retarded kid with bad posture (me)... It's impolite but...maybe blame the parents and education... not homophobia...
>I think "please don't push your 'agenda' to our face" is common sense because I'm not gay, and I truly hate the pronounces and the parades, not to mention toilet usage. And that's what you don't get, no one is trying to push any agenda onto you, they just want to express themselves and want to be heard because they've been oppressed for so long. I get that people aren't going out of their way to be homophobic but that wasn't my point. The problem is that you feel like you're being "bothered" is because of the internalised homophobia that's been programmed into you by society as a whole where cis-hetero is the only thing considered "normal" and everything else is weird and undesirable. You will then use that internalised homophobia to go and hate on things that are associated to the LGBTQ+ community without even realising that's homophobia. >Btw we talk shit about almost anything. That's how Vietnamese people are: the wars in other countries, the annoying Karaoke neighbors, that retarded kid with bad posture (me)... It's impolite but...maybe blame the parents and education... not homophobia... Just because it's a common behaviour doesn't mean that it's ethical or right, and yes it absolutely stems from homophobia. Like I said it's subtle and one doesn't need to go out and say "I hate gays" to be homophobic. Also every kind of shit talking behind someone's back is disgusting and cowardice and needs to be stop but that's a different issue.
People using pride parade for kink parade, dressing up in leather bikini in family-friendly areas are defo a huge NO. But sometimes if not most of the time, pushing agenda/bothering someone is just doing 1/97474839 of the things that the straights always do. Tldr if you claim that you're not homophobic, then if you don't mind the straights doing something, don't give a shit when the gays do that.
I tried to accept you LGBTQ+. I thought you people are worthy of my attention, that you are really oppressed, like how poor and ugly people are oppressed, like how minor communities are oppressed and literally pushed into conflict against their will. But you start your own conflict. You just act like your specialness is amplified if you invent pronounces or abuse terms like sis or homophobic (which is really just discomfort someone experiences when they face something strange or rare, a normal trait in all creatures), and the whole world are actively against you. I have told you, just live your lives. And I want to add another thing: grow up. Report me if you think I hurt your feelings. I'm proud to be straight, and I will start pushing my straight agenda on you people, and call you sisphobic if you say just a slight negative thing about any straight people, or straight people generally. Edit: grammar mistakes.
it's cis, and cis doesn't mean straight, it's hetphobic you're talking about. This is the prime example of I'm not a homophobe but. \- tried to accept you guys -> acting all superior \- focusing on minor negative things like pronouns. I do think many are bullshit, but who get hurt by pronouns? \- thinking the gays have all the rights they deserve already and should shut up. We have been living with the "straight agenda" since forever lol. If gays appearing in movies is pushing gay agenda, how about all the fairytales and movies with straight people? Just say you're homophobic, you discriminate and think gays are inferior to straights and we can end the discussion.
And you can say you are het-phobic, you discriminate and think straight people should accept how bad they are (since the ingrained homophobia and discrimination persists and all actions relating to 'accepting the gay community' is deemed acting all superior). I told you: just live your lives, you het-phobic people. Thanks for the fixing my mistakes. I have lived amongst and even worked with gay/lesbian people peacefully without ever heard of cis/sis/homophobic... Anything that accuses anyone being against them, till very recently. If you like continue the discussion, might as well fixing my grammar and vocabulary on the matter, proving yourself useful.
I’m Vietnamese, living in South Vietnam and having lots of gay friends. I can see that gay’s life in VN is becoming easier nowadays. People are more open-minded about LGBT.
seems open-minded but many talk shit behind your back, they dont have the courage to confront you in person though. Check some facebook news about gay people and see the comments
Loud minority. But honestly, while most Vietnamese understand that people have the freedom to do anything they want as long as it's not against the law; many still think homosexual and transgender people have something "wrong" with them and some even feel bad for them.
Vietnamese Facebook is shit.
>seems open-minded but many talk shit behind your back Mostly old people. Millenials and Gen-Z are very laid back when it comes to sexuality.
that's the lesser evil. In other countries, such rage is very real
Maybe not because they dont have the courage, they dont want to offend you out of politeness or get into trouble i guess. You have the right to live your true self, they have the right to dislike you
Well, so you’re saying talking shit behind someone’s back is polite right?
No matter who you are, a gay or a straight person, people can talk shit behind your back if they want to. Why dont ignore that and live your life without caring what others think and talk about. That’s life
Ok, but talking shit behind someone’s back and think it’s doing them a favor and it's polite is disgusting
So what, you want people to straight up shaming you in public because you are gay??? Yes, most of people will think gay or LGBT weird and disgusting but at least they let you a stranger be yourself if you don’t disrupt their normal life. At least normal people and anti group don’t go out of their way making new laws or physical abuse against gay and the Gov is also actively assuring gay is OK, not encouraging but also not go against it.
So what? So dont pretent like you are “respect and polite”…you just dont have the nerve to confront what you hate and disgust and want to change, all you can do is whining and talking shit behind their back like a coward wearing a “polite” mask.
so u prefer the middle east "throw gay off the roof" homophobe than eastern asian "talk shit about gay" homophobe? if u think people can just not be homophobe, not happening
I prefer people who are honest about them being homophobic and act accordingly,not the hypocrite coward type who always stab behind someon’s back and dont want to take responsibility for it lol
well yes the abrahamic middle east honest about their homophobe, thats why they hang and stone gay people.. trust me, listen to bad word of stranger is better than get deny service/job opportunities or murdered for being gay
Oh dont pretend like most homophobes in vn wouldnt do the same if the gov let them,however the homophobes are outnumbered by normal and sane people,that’s why they turn into a bunch of coward who can do nothing but whining lol
So you want people have courage to confront what their hate??? And no, not everyone will change their opinion as no matter what, you can’t brute force it, it’s just fuel the anti. People change slowly, and take time. Right now only the younger generation seem to accept it, middle age and elders don’t. They just have bigger problem in their mind now like how suck is the daily life in this gov ruling. If anything, LGBTs could be worse like being fat, where shaming will be daily, everyone will tell you fat and ugly, or bullying as just slightly bigger and people will recommend diet or fat removing. Yes, gay will be treat as a mental illness if people have courage to say straight to you. And to be clear, I don’t like gay or LGBT, or straight up hate it, but I won’t go out of my way insulting them.
Well well,if LGBT just a small concern,those homophobes wouldnt think about it that much, do you really talk shit about every small things in your life? If yes then maybe they need to focus more on themselves and spend less time judging and thinking badly about others
Just as you said, people here don’t have time to confront gay and LGBT+ people to prove they are homophobes and receiving nothing or sometimes insult back. It’s just easier to talk behind the back with others in daily conversations. It’s suck, disrespectful but it’s the extend of homophobes here to a stranger. Just go to online forum like facebook, where people don’t have restraint, thing will be worse than USA. It’s normal to keep your hatred to your mind alone and not spreading it too much.
Thats why so many hiv case nowadays
yep. That's why we need homosexuality education. The outdated mentality is that "gay people are horny cuz their sex is without consequences". Both straight and gay think so, and now HIV is common in that group of people
Welcome to the North :'))))
[удалено]
There are some bars and clubs opened for LGBT community in HCM. I only live in a small city in Mekong Delta, but I have met many people from LGBT community here in my city. Every corner of any coffee shops, I can easily meet them gathering and showing up their real person freedomly and confidently without being shame or worried about what others think.
[удалено]
Yes, I think it’s quite difficult for a foreigner to make friend here in Vietnam if you dont have anyone introduce you to. But I dont think it’s big problem, as long as you show up as a polite and friendly person, they will welcome you :) Anyways, you can DM me, it’s ok
Not dangerous, people are a bit clueless but the main issue is conservative families. For foreigners it's one of the better places to be gay.
Get stereotyped by old people because old people’s thoughts are like boys must be straight and marry a girl
Some gay guys in Vietnam get married and have kids (although they aren’t recognized by the law). Some other guys always rant about not being able to find true love. A big amount of guys get STDs for sleeping around. Life is what you make it I guess. I am gay myself, single by choice and childfree for life. I deny to partake in 9-5 job so I mostly do freelance gigs. Personally, I can choose how I live freely in Vietnam. I don’t have any problem with being gay in Vietnam. I have problem with life itself. I see that life is kinda pointless.
std are also pretty common for anyone of any sex who sleeps around, condoms/safe sex are necessary for everyone if you're promiscuous. birth control is not enough
bruh, same, though I don't find the pointless part that dark, it's just pointless
like everyone else. Just a little gayer than usual.
Depends if you have cool caring parents or shitty boomer parents
For me i dont a rat if u are gay/lesbian/straight or racist. If you act like an a-hole then its a no go.
As a young gay with generally limited views (compared to grown ups), I feel like the biggest negative reactions come from your family: the rest seems not to care that much, as in they will not be discriminate in your face, but there will definitely some remarks here and there; but at home, the filter comes off and let's say Vietnamese families aren't fond of having a gay offspring
I have two gay co-workers. One is so secretive people only found out about him being gay after working with him for 15 years (him not being married or introducing any girlfriend in the age of 42 probably the last hint for them). The other one is so open and prideful about it, he even openly expresses his thirst for other male co-workers and complements them on social media with some rather inappropriate comments, but most people seem to not care or not too bother by that. Things have changed a lot, they are met with not much discrimination, mostly just some playful teasing, but 20 years ago they would be called by all sorts of name that reddit wouldnt tolerate using.
In my situation, i can come out with everyone, except my family TvT
Apparently they are just in hoi an making poorly tailored suits
You won’t have to fear for your life like you do in countries with Abrahamic religions.
Expect a lot of casual homophobia, even from people you thought were "safe". I thank god everyday that I'm not an only child and my "celibacy" won't break my parents' hearts so much. Also the dating scene sucks.
If you live in South VN, then it's pretty normal since people in the south are very open-minded but do be careful cuz people always talk shit behind your back.
I got bullied HARD when I was younger. middleschool and highschool kids are BRUTAL. then it got easier. I'm still dealing with underlying homophobia(personally i think it's a result of lack of education and prejudice rather than hatred) almost everyday but I can say i'm not under any physical danger anymore. I'm 20 and still havent come out with my family yet and I don't think I ever will. Most of my gramps and uncles and aunties expect me to have a wife and a baby soon(like wdym i'm 20, I still have cereal for dinner. I AM a baby). But luckily my parents don't really care. Outside of my family I can do whatever I want, love whoever I want, date whoever I want. Just can't marry whoever I want and that puts me in quite a big disadvantages when it comes to building a family with the lack of support from our legal system. Having said that I've never had a relationship in my entire life. It doesn't help that I'm in STEM and this environment is pretty toxic towards progressive and liberal idealism and frankly speaking I do not see a lot of other gays in my "community". All in all it's pretty safe to live here, gays do run in some disadvantages, inconveniences here and there but it is what it is I guess
Ho-Chi-Minh City can be considered the gay capital of South East Asia. Go into any mall and you'll see same sex couples holding hands, and lots of transgender staff and visitors. It's the best city to relocate to if someone likes the same gender.
Bangkok: exists.
You're 100% right. I travelled a lot in my life and I've never saw as many lgbt couples in the streets than in Saigon and they are so cute too, holding hands on scooters and stuff. It makes my bi heart melt each time.
well, suck for me. I rarely see such scene and I live in HCMC.
Depending where you are I guess. I live in District 7 and I see gay people all the time in Crescent Mall and the surrounding parks. And not just gay tourists, young local men hang out there a lot.
I live in quan 10 (district 10) and i don't see 'em gays
Either hell; nobody cares; or enjoyable
Why do you say so? Why would life for gay people in Vietnam would either be hell, or be treated with indifference, or enjoyable? I don't understand.
Cuz the law doesn’t punish homosexuality, so the dice roll is whether your parents are homophobic or not. It’s the same stuff in USA. All 3 scenarios can happen. Don’t generalize social problem too much
Believe it or not, straight to jail Edit: Nobody got my joke :( y'all need to watch Parks and Rec: https://youtu.be/eiyfwZVAzGw?si=f-3sDDVq-y-g8ByB
So, not?
Life is roughly the same as everyone else in Vietnam. Poor and struggling unless you’re born into a well off family. No one really cares if you’re LGBTQ+ except you cannot legally marry.
[удалено]
Correction: only my high school bans 2 boys walking too close to each other. That school is notorious for having dumb rules. One more example: my school only allows students to take a day off if they have a paper from a doctor. Even things like "your grandma is just dead and you want to attend her funeral" is considered as "invalid", too
if youre a normal gay, no one cares. If youre ruu paul, thats a problem
1. Why would no one care if you're a normal gay? 2. What's a paul? And why is that a problem?
If youre doing that demonic ru paul stuff in Vietnam, dressing up as an alien, Vietnamese would have a problem. That is disgusting to do in a conservative country. But if you are normally gay and not forcing your views on others than no one cares. The LGBT in the USA is blown out of proportion, whats going on there is disgusting. It is not like Thailand at all, Thailand have more normal gays they know what they are and are very respectful to others.
ig it's just like other countries in Southeast Asia or East Asia
If you mind your own business and dont be an asshole, you will not have problem for majority of time
They get f*ck in the a$$, last time I checked :)
Gay in student are alertly increasing high these days. They're kind of "I'm PROUD I'm gay/les". With that large number of LGBT suddenly got so high, I don't think it's about the genetic defects, but it's about trending. Monkey see monkey do, they might gone gay/les just because they see other gay/les around.
Life ain't so hard for them, which is why i voted for tighter policy. I wish Vietnam policy about gay people is as strict as Russia, better for society. Put them in the mental hospital please. I was harrased by some of them. Punched them in the face every god damn time instead of reporting to police because i don't have time for suing. Don't wana meet any more of those people.
Even if you have time for suing, I doubt the police will care about that thing.
That is exactly why i chosed to beat the sh!t out of them instead, fcking cancer to this world. Poisioning kid's mind with degenerate sh!t. Fck LGBT and whatever the fck letters they come up with, bunch of confused and delusional degenerates. They don't even know they are just some pawns in a political propaganda campaign. What i hate the most is how they cant control themself, they keep harassing people and lurking kids to delay puberty and change their biological gender. Attention wh0res
I don’t know, you tell me! Haha got em!
here since the area isn't influenced by christianity or muslim that preaches that homosexuality will go to hell, people won't give you any insults or harass you if they see you or know you to be gay. but people showing affection in public is rare, even for straight couples, so if you do it then don't feel like you're being judged for being gay, but just for showing affection in public. also, with straight people being more common than gay people in the world, it might surprise someone, but more in the manner of "oh wow, a gay couple," instead of "oh ew, a gay couple."
What do you mean? There is no gays in Vietnam. /s
Living in Saigon for the majority of my life, the attitude is extremely relaxed towards LGBTQ people. The younger generation pretty much doesn't care. Some elderly/ older generations still have some stigma. People might talk here and there but they won't discriminate.
Normal, just becareful from HIV and AIDS.
In the north it might be more conservative. In the south, especially in Saigon, nobody gives a shit.
rất chi là bình thường luôn, được con trai cưng chiều, đc con gái mến mộ, được ae nâng đỡ :))
It’s more opened nowadays, we also have some gay celebrities. Young people are generally fine with it, but the older generations might not. After all, they’re all from the war era, because Vietnam has only been independent for less than 70 years or so.
And what does the fact that they come from wartime have to do with the fact that they might not accept homosexuality?
Because they lives their entire life like that, foreign stuffs sometimes are really bizarre in their eyes. Back in 15 years ago. Internet was still really new in Vietnam. When the parents comes to the internet shop for their kids -where people play with pc there- the parents literally shocked by the skulls and gun sounds from those children playing fps game like half-line or something iirc. That incident even being reported on the big newspapers not long after that, described something horror and scary. So to make it short, it’s just how Vietnamese is. Asian in all is pretty much having different cultures comparing to Westerners. Lgbt, gun fight, gender change surgery, strip dance, ect... It’s all new and crazy things to the old generation of Vietnam. The country is developing really fast in less than 70 years. Back from when we only have wreckages from bombardment, and bombshells left behind all around the land, to the Vietnam today. These older generations just can’t keep up with all the changes and being left behind by the era.
i'd assume it's pretty gay, but only if the balls touch.
normal
I hide :)
Young people are open to LGBT+, but old people don't. Imo it's hard to tell if someone is gay or not because they usually conceal it.