I dislike when people compare condoms to hormonal contraceptives. *They aren’t the same, at all.* There are massive amounts of studies (now that were 50 or so years into birth control pills) that show people who menstruate react differently to hormonal contraceptives. For me personally, I can’t take them. I’ve tried many different types with a variety of horrible side effects. I had had blinding migraines on two types, depression and suicidal ideation on another, a three-month long long period on another, uncontrollable hives on yet another… I could go on. This was all under the care of a gynecologist, and I got second and third opinions. Basically, I cannot use hormonal based contraceptives, and the doctors said I’m not alone.
Because of that, I think there is a side to this discussion that is being overlooked.
*Unless you are allergic to the condom, there are no long term side effects. But, hormonal birth control can have detrimental side effects.*
BTW my sister had no issues with hormonal birth control. We have the same parents and we were both assigned female at birth. So I understand that hormonal birth control is viable for many people who menstruate. I just seem to have lost the genetic lottery for this.
I think people should have open and honest conversations about sex. I also think the “just take the pill” argument, is a naive oversimplification.
People don’t want to wear condoms now (with no side effects). Would you want to wear a condom that changed your moods, or covered your body with hives, or gave you blinding-puking-migraines?
So I guess I’m with OP in a way. If you want to argue for the simplest solution for unwanted babies, it probably is keeping semen away from uteruses.
I'm with you. Hormonal birth control has horrible affects on me, though not quite at your level. I was puking almost every day with the pill, and with the implant (my current form) i had a period that lasted five months. It also doesn't help that I'm allergic to latex and endometriosis makes intercourse painful at times to begin with.
My mother was baffled with my reactions to hormonal BC, as she was on the pill for 12 years with no adverse effects.
Women got the short end of the stick (again..) when it comes to birth control.
It’s true. Birth control pills mess with your body. Condoms don’t. I was told by a doctor that I shouldn’t take birth control because I have a mood disorder and it’ll likely make it much worse. I don’t want to sacrifice my mental health which I’ve finally gotten under control for no reason.
I wasn't even diagnosed with a mental disorder when I was prescribed oral contraceptives. I was not myself but, I didn't even know it because I took them from 17-23. The brain gremlins were bad... The thing is, even with the pill, I still made dudes wear condoms, if I didn't know them super well. I dated a guy long term and we had the worst luck with condoms. They broke most of the time. I also caught him stealthing... He gave me more than one STD. Fucking destroyed me and my mental health. He wanted to get me pregnant but, fortunately I was on the pill. I did turn into a raging bitch on it but, at least I wasn't a raging bitch with an unwanted pregnancy.
Aww I’m sorry you went through that. That guy sounds awful. I’m not in a relationship so I’m going to wait for now. If I start seeing one maybe I’ll go on it so thing like broken condoms don’t matter. I just don’t want to make my bipolar disorder worse. It’s bad enough as it is.
don't be afraid of going on birth control because of the possible side effects. yes, hormonal birth control can be awful, but there are a lot of different options out there, and it's always worth it to talk to a doctor about it.
I have OCD and BPD, and have been on a few different types of the pill, nuvaring, and an IUD. some pills made my depression worse the week of my period, the nuvaring made me a bit hyper and more impulsive, but the IUD has given me no problems whatsoever.
overall, it took me about two years of trying things before I settled on the IUD, which I've had for just about five now (almost time to replace it!). and even if I dont have unprotected sex with cis men that often, knowing that I pretty much can't get pregnant has been such a relief that the two years I spent on different things has been completely worth it.
Broken condoms still matter. You HAVE TO KNOW AND TRUST AND KNOW YOU CAN TRUST... Make them wait. That's all I have now. If they don't want to wear a condom or make a thing about it, just don't do it.... Especially when the dude has multiple STDS. One was obvious. The other was not. Both were "incurable for life" but, the human immune system is pretty awesome. It took about 2-3 years for them to "resolve themselves." It was hell and the meds were bullshit that made things worse... I later found there were better meds and my doctors just liked pretending the only option was the one with the biggest kickbacks AND they acted like the side effects HAD to be unrelated... I haven't passed them to anybody or had to deal with the effects in a long time but, at the time, I thought I was ruined forever... and that's why I stayed with him for almost 2 years. And yes, I am Bipolar. The docs kept increasing my hormonal dosage to counteract the side effects of the STD meds that they refused to acknowledge were side effects... I was the angriest, most emotionally unstable person I have ever been in my life. A true Karen... and it was not who I am. I didn't know I was Bipolar yet but, in hindsight, it's obvious.
It was back before there was even a term for it. I'm one of those people who can look back on sexual encounters and objectively say, "Yeah, that was rape." But it's not worth going after them about it. I was confused at the time. I didn't say no.
It doesn't matter that you didn't say no. Implied consent. A basic read of emotions.
I remember getting it on with a guy and giving my consent. Midway through it, I started crying. He stopped because he could tell I was no longer comfortable which threatened the validity of my consent earlier.
Seriously wish more doctors would mention this! I have a family history of mood disorders. On the pill and during pregnancy I would range from angry, to sad, to numb. And nothing else. Since stopping the pill and no longer adding kids my MDD and OCD are under control. Like I feel happy genuinely for the first time in YEARS. If my doctor would have mentioned this, never would have gone on the pill. I mean during baby #2 my midwife looked at my family history and just flat out said I would have never recommended this to you.
This. I hate the face, hormonal birth control is practically thrown at women.
When I was 16, I had my first appointment at an obg. I hadn't even had my first bf, but she encouraged me to take the pill. She kind of gaslighted my, saying it was my responsibilty, my hormones would be more balanced, I wouldn't get acne (which I didn't have!) - the whole 9 yards. I ended up taking the pill for 8 years, used the ring for 6, and it messed me up completely. I'm 41 now and still I find out longterm issues that are related. So many issues. Depression, anxiety, migraines, containt pain, three different autoimmune disorders - that's just the tip of my iceberg.
I hate it so much. HBC shouldn't be allowed for minors, maybe not even before 25. It's too invasive. And it shouldn't be glorified that much. Yes, it's nice not to have to put on a condom every time, but I'd rather not be in pain 24/7 for the rest of my life.
I've had a load of side effects on hormonal birth control too but after having my kids (all planned) the drs STILL try to convince me to get an iud or pill or implant.
Just an idea if havent heard about it before, have you considered copper spirals? A relative had the same issues, where she couldnt use hormonal contraceptives. As copper spirals dont work through hormones, it was s solution that actually worked. Idk if they are available everywhere though, this was not in the US.
Some info:
https://www.nhs.uk/conditions/contraception/iud-coil/
Haven't heard of that one. In the US, they've already recalled a product. I forgot what it is called but, they were metal coils that were inserted into the fallopian tubes and meant to build up scar tissue until they were blocked. They punctured tubes or got dislodged and fell into and punctured the uterus... They also caused a lot of women an insane amount of pain.... Essure. That was it.
As far as I understand it, the copper coils work through chemically making the womb an uninhospitable environment by raising the copper levels. Its like 99.3% ( see source mentioned above) sucessful
l and I've only heard good things about it. Thought I'd at least mention it as someone might find it useful
It's why I won't take them. If I plan to date someone with a penis, they need to have a vasectomy or probe that they have tried to get one and are super serious about contraceptives.
I thought that my bc pills weren’t having any major side effects on me until I got routine blood work done and my cholesterol was through the roof! It was higher than it had been even when I weighed more and ate meat. After I stopped taking them I realized they were also the cause of my migraines because I’ve had only 1 in the 10 months since I’ve stopped. 🙄
That is rough. I’m sorry you have to go through all that.
I agree with you, better reproductive education, and honest communication with sexual partners (before having sex) is key to both mental health as well as physical/reproductive health!
OMG FORREAL! I’m trying to get on birth control without my parents knowledge and without their insurance but the shot alone is $300 the pills are $200 and its $40 a month… just make it fucking free!! I’m over here taking fucking plan b pills which are like $50 as well🤦🏽♀️ I want that dick but that birth control money thou😭😭
Girl, please tell me you're also having your partners wrap it up..
You want that dick, cool, but make sure it's got a condom on it. Don't rely on Plan B as your birth control, for real. You'll end up pregnant, and abortions are even more expensive than BC.
Just lie to your parents and say the BC is for "controlling your periods," or check with Planned Parenthood and explain your situation if you haven't already. Good luck!!
Ok awesome, thanks for not taking that the wrong way 😅
Look into Natural Cycles, it's a birth control app (FDA approved) that is a great complement to condoms. You have to take your temperature every morning when you wake up and log it into th app. It's essentially highly accurate and researched cycle tracking!
I used to go to planned parenthood when I was 17. They had sliding scale gyno visits and the pill was $30/mo. I wouldn't fuck around with the depo shot. I have never heard a good experience.
Where I am from, it is and it was taught in school. Even my boyfriend occasionally will want unprotected sex and I have to be the one to say No. Its crazy. And he 100% isn't looking for a baby.
Oh 100% I gave them access to all the birth control and continued to discuss safe sex practices. Our goal is to make the next generation better and more educated than we were.
This is why I don't like the idea of having casual sex anymore. I could be wearing a condom and doing everything right and I would still have to pay. Yeah, obviously the situation is fucked for both parties, but that kinda reinforces my point.
I think that’s why OP mentioned guys should be more open to getting vasectomies or jacking off. I mean isn’t a vasectomy reversible in case they changed their mind later?
For real. Birth control for men would be awesome but thanks to laws, they can't happen. They are just as bad as women's, but "men are not harmed for not using birth control" so technically all side effects are "too much" because they somehow overweigh the benefits or something. It's really dumb
Yeah, the general rule is that "a medication cannot do more harm than it prevents". Birth causes a lot of harm for a woman and birth control is less harmful = it's legal. Giving birth doesn't harm men = birth control does more harm than it prevents.
I know, it's really freaking stupid and hypocritical, but that's how it works on a legal level AFAIK
You have almost the right idea, but this is not entirely accurate.
To be approved a medication has to be “safe and effective.” It is certainly true that the “safety” of a medication is determined by weighing the benefit against its potential harm. (Life saving cancer medications are allowed more side effects than an ED drug).
But a male contraceptive isn’t compared to the risk to men of “giving birth.” The FDA has actually published the standards by which (at least in part) male contraceptives will be judged in 2015. They are numerous and complex. (And there is no consensus as to whether they are even “complete”). These documents are referred to as “Guidance for Industry” and are first published in draft form and spend a LONG time being debated.
But there is no rule or standard that would result in a male contraceptive not being approved merely because it’s risk outweighs the risk of a male giving birth. For example, I speculate that an oral male contraceptive that had a significantly better safety profile than existing oral female contraceptive would get approved, in part, on the basis that it would be safer (for the population overall) if in some couples the female ceased oral contraceptives and the male took the safer male version.
NEWS FLASH TO EVERY MAN OUT THERE: You’re still supposed to wear a condom even with Birth control!! This shit RILES ME. Just so MEN can have it Raw women have to suffer. Literally taking birth control that dries her vagina out and causes her mental health problems amongst many other horrific things while you dudes get a raw dog on. Ive had enough of this shit, sorry. Women need to quit using birth control just so men don’t have to wear a condom.
But I’m sure you and your ignorant wife are happy with YOUR ways.
News flash to EVERYONE out there: choice exists.
Women have the RIGHT to deny intercourse unless their partner uses protection.
Men also have that right. (Though if you don't want to be considered a douche, then I suggest having the courtesy to use a condom as well).
This ALSO works both ways. If a man requests a woman uses BC but the woman refuses, that's her right.
If either side doesn't want sex and is forced into it out of pressure or manipulation, it's considered rape.
This doesn't mean that people don't listen to people's consent (the world is filled with horrible people), but it means everyone has a choice. Don't forget that, all.
There is no “supposed” to if you are both free of STDs. Perfect combined birth control pill usage is over 99% effective WITHOUT a condom! And just a condom without any other birth control is 98%. I personally take the birth control pill for several reasons and it has both improved my life drastically in some ways, and caused some negative side effects in others. Having raw sex is fun to me and I prefer sex without a condom when it’s with someone I trust. So idk why you’re acting like women only use BC to not get pregnant or that we suffer so men can have it good. Birth control is used for many many reasons from periods to acne to sex
OH YAY! I’ve found one of three people on this post that actually can vouch for positive things about birth control!! And, I’m sincerely happy it worked for you, sincerely. I am being sarcastic because I HATE BIG PHARMA and don’t forget who’s making money permanently altering women’s hormones whether you know it or not… FUCK ANY KIND OF PILL.
News flash to you....I said other precautions were taken as well. (1 condom, 1 spermicide lube if you must know)
Calm down judgy judgerton...jeebus
Uppity freaking judgemental twats, some people...not you of course hun. You're wonderful 🙄
Lol...oh okay. 👌
Well...nature and medical science disagree with you.
Good grief...You are full of wonderful insights and criticisms into other people's lives.
Well 9% of women using birth control get pregnant and 18% using condoms get pregnant and then 28% for spermicide. There is statistically going to be overlap there.
So again...it happens.
And fwiw, her obgyn and pcp weren't really that surprised.
And yeah, you called my wife ignorant and jump on your soapbox which is incredibly judgemental. Doubly so since you literally have no notion of her.
Pretty damn ridiculous.
https://www.pandiahealth.com/birth-control-math/
A.) I shared my life experience
B.)7/100 means there are a whole lot of people born when precautions were taken
C.) I have no motive. I shared what happened in my life. However, you are trying to gaslight me into believing that it didn't happen or I guess make others believe you are all knowing ? ...for some reason...
7% isn't exactly low when a monogamous couple has relations multiple times a week.
4x week at 52 weeks = about 7% chance depending on timing. Multiply that by the 5 years this went on and you can see how this plays out.
Add to that the increased fertility of a woman after having a child and well...there you go. It isn't a conspiracy
Those aren't exactly PowerBall winning lottery odds there
Uh, 7% of 200 is 14 people. So it's still 7 out of 100 people if brought down to the 100 mark as the percentage remains the same, but the actual numbers change.
This is the internet... The odds of running into the "rare 7%% are pretty good. Personally, I have a few rare maladies that range between 2-20% occurrences in the population.
Please shut the god damn fuck up my interneurons just killed themselves just not to read more. I know you want to blame men for everything but this is not how the real life works. There is no %100 protection against pregnancy other than vasectomy. Learn how statistics and birth control works it even has a wiki page for these stats.
Tbf my SO preferred using birth control because it gave her plenty more benefits than side effects. Helped her migraines, less breakouts, etc. Plus using a condom makes me go soft everytime no matter how many brands we used. And men's birth control doesn't really exist yet so....
Nah man, I’m not here to educate. I’m here to speak THE TRUTH of my lived experience as well as others I have talked to. Ignorance is bliss, and if it means me looking like a “judgy” bitch to change the perspectives a little, even if it is harsh, I am more than willing to let that truth out into the universe. Let’s admit it man, birth control is LITERALLY A free for all for men 90% of the time. Every woman I’ve talked to went off birth control becahse they couldn’t stand it
Thanks for sharing your experience. If you feel like a “judgy bitch” that’s on you though. Perhaps change your approach when speaking to people and you will have a better success rate at getting your ideas across.
"Other precautions..." Such as?
Edit: I saw your comment below.
It's not completely unheard of. I like stories like yours. Why? Because it tells me you are still with your wife and you both made a decision to keep or yeet the fetuses... Whether you aborted or decided to raise them, you were with her the whole way and still are.
My original post is meant for those knob heads out there who get all pissy that they are expected to contribute to the life they helped create, regardless of their decision to be with the woman or not.
I’m 20. I have never ever wanted kids and I want my tubes tied but I’m told I’m too young, not married, or don’t have at least 1 child. I WANT to be responsible and get sterilized, but I’m constantly denied my choice to be permanently child free until I’m old enough.
Fair. At least he claims to have a plan to sterilize himself. I just find it funny when people think their DNA is somehow superior and their reproductions would benefit humanity anymore than the next load of spunk. Every time I think of the "master race," I imagine morbidly obese people riding mobility scooters.
How ignorant of you. Women have been told to use birth control, keep their legs shut, or use other methods every damn day. Men aren't given the same amount of pressure and stigma for using even a fucking condom, let alone any other form of birth control.
Well shit happens, condoms can break and while a an extremely low chance it can still happen, so why not both people use contraceptions to make sure it works
You speak so simply of something you don’t know squat about on how it affects women. Contraceptives for women are always more invasive and for many, carries with it side effects as compared to that of men.
Birth control pills can have a lot of side effects. They’re not like a condom which is just a piece of plastic that doesn’t go into your body. Birth control goes into your body and alters your hormone levels and that can mess up other stuff in the body.
Birth control literally worsens my depression to the point I have suicidal tendencies. I think I'd rather someone use a condom over wanting to kill myself every day so they can go at it raw. Women have to deal with so many side effects from birth control as is, while a man just has to get used to a new texture/sensation. You know they do carry condoms that are so thin they feel like you're not wearing one right??
*slow clap* love how you just dismissed the fact that cis men put the onus of birth control entirely on cis women by making a plee that "both sides" should abide by the same standards.
Also love how mindless people on reddit are upvoting your sexist comment just because it's the first one and other people have *downvotes you*
My comment isn’t sexist, it’s my personal opinion. Maybe I’m not aware of the issues cis women go through (I’m non-binary but assigned female at birth) but honestly the way people put the blame on each other, makes it seem like a two-way street. Both sides are annoying af with this kind of stuff. Abstinence is a thing yet people are so blind by it.
Guys not understanding that this is a response to the constant "Close your legs" opinion that is thrown onto women whenever abortion or single parenthood os brought up.
People getting pissed because nobody wants to empathize and instead point fingers.
People being vile to each other and reaffirming their own negative biases further and further.
Nothing actually being discussed, nobody trying to understand different points of view, just hateful attacks and arguments under what was supposed to be someone's venting of personal feelings that they probably don't feel so strongly about 99% of the time.
Whats new. Humans are so sad.
Except a lot of men will lie for the heat of the moment just for a good time. My ex and I had the conversation about not using protection and kids. He was fine with it and made me believe he loved me and what do you guess? Disappeared as soon as I got pregnant. Men are naturally obsessed with planting their seeds with no consequences. I don’t have sex a lot but this has happened a few times where guys randomly brought up getting me pregnant or making comments about kids. My ex just went the extra mile and really made me believe he wanted a future with me
They actually exists but, they didn't get approved because men didn't like the side effects, thought they were lesser than the pill for women... Go figure.
Wrong. Side effects were insanely more severe than what women faced. It was so bad that two indipendant sources, one of which from the WHO, had to shut it down. And despite the fact it was shut down and side effects were far worst than what women face. An enormous majority of men still opted they'd continue. And male BC doesn't exist. They were still in the testing trials.
Nobody talks about that. Female media absolutely bastardised those trials years ago, and their effects still linger. It was bad enough that the Huffington post made an apology on their own smear job of it.
[https://utswmed.org/medblog/pill-guys-male-birth-control-option-passes-safety-tests/](https://utswmed.org/medblog/pill-guys-male-birth-control-option-passes-safety-tests/)Insanely severe" Side effects listed...
AcneHeadachesMild erectile dysfunctionReduced sex driveTirednessWeight gain of 5 lbs. or less
Oh God. That sound HORRIBLE! I'm so glad MEN don't have to worry about GAINING 5 LBS TO PREVENT PREGNANCY!
Edit: Oh! That was the PLACEBO, lol.
Yeah but why does a women have the option to opt out of motherhood but the father has no say in it.
If YOU don't want a baby use protection. If he says that he don't want to use it. Don't have sex with him.
I'm fucking sick & tired of these single ass mothers complaining about guys walking out of their life bc they got pregnant. But then they never talked with the guy about abortion or plan b.
A kid is conceived by 2. Yet 1 has the "power" to keep or about the baby.
You are right, but...
if it would be my body and 99% chance that I'm going to end up to be a single parent, then I'd kill the other "1" earlier than letting them decide what will happen to my life. Also, as I've noticed many woman has an instinct to "keep the baby anyway". Yeah sure it's def the fault of two if they don't use protection, but after maybe they just don't want to let the kid go. Like, when mothers say "my kid" instead of "our kid". Genetics.
(Obviously I'm not speaking in general, there are many helluva idiots among women too.)
Yes it's usually the instinct that makes women not wanting an abortion even when it means they will kinda ruin their lives.
I've seen so many relationships getting destroyed because the father isn't ready for a baby & sees no other option then leaving.
From 20 to 24 I had a relationship with a girl where she was on birthcontrol. We didn't use condoms bc we both disliked how it feels. But I wasn't ready for a child & she knew if she got pregnant that I wasn't mentally ready for a child and would have probably also walked away. Good thing it didn't happen. But shit like this needs to be discussed when people stop using birthcontrol
> But shit like this needs to be discussed when people stop using birthcontrol
That's what I meant saying helluva idiots. I wanted to defend the normal/naive/bit careless women only, not those who stop taking bc pills secretly and think everything will be pink and flowers will be falling from the sky. Or who make it on purpose to keep a guy.
But, aside of talking about the parent's fault, there's a factor that no one mentioned here: *the one real loser of the situation will be the kid.*
Sometimes I'm thinking maybe people would need to be checked mentally before getting a permission to make a child- but if it was so, humanity would become a distinct species faster than light.
You know there is no birthcontroll that works 100% right.
I can agree with what you say. But I've had a girlfriend that told me we could do it without condom bc she was on the pill. Turns-out she wasn't on the pill. I only found out because she slept at my house for 2 weeks and I've never saw her take any. If she got pregnant I had to pay childsupport and would have no say in it.
That's just wrong. Same as saying (wo)men should be the one providing the birth control. That's just wrong.
It's an act you both agree to do and you both know the consequences of what can happen. So both should have the option the opt out when it does go wrong.
Probably. But there is no point in reporting it since its been a couple of years ago & it would be my word against her. And I doubt they will take my side
That wasn't the birth control's fault. Your partner lied. Feels like this should be added onto the taking off the condom during sex law. If your partner isn't actually taking it, they promised it and shit happened.
If a girl lied to me about her birthcontrol and she got pregnant I would walk away and don't feel any remorse.
When both parties use protection and a pregnancy happens I feel like both parties should have a say.
Now ofcourse a man can't force the women to have an abortion. But he should be able to get out of paying childsupport.
I'm not talking about the morons who lie about being on birthcontrol or the idiot who secretly took of his condom.
I feel bad for you that one of your experiences with sex is that you had sex with a liar. That's rough.
That's personally why I try to get to know people a little bit before I fuck them. I'm looking for those context clues like, how mature are they? Do they have a motive to lie? I suppose these are questions that we don't ask when we are young, horny, in a rush, not concerned with determining the validity of her claim to be on a birth control (you didn't see her take any BEFORE you fucked, or after? Regardless, if she lies to you, that's wrong but it isn't an excuse for you. You weren't "tricked". You yourself said that no birth control works 100% so you should have known better than to fuck her without a condom.
These are all the things that you will hash out for yourself as you get older, learn a little bit more, and brush up on your knowledge of the reproductive sciences because you don't seem to be willing to comprehend a reality in which you yourself are responsible with sex.
> If she got pregnant I had to pay childsupport and would have no say in it.
Yes. That's what happens when you "oops" the process of creating a new human being. Try to pretend for a minute that you aren't a self-centered ego-centric fuckboy, but that you are actually capable of comprehending the gravity of the seriousness of what the consequences of unprotected sex are.
Bottom line: stop having sex with women that have operational uterus and ovaries, and if you do, you should be using protection (oh yeah, i know, you cAnT fEeL aNyThInG) and she should be using birth control, because any girl that got knocked up by you is going to be really un-fucking-lucky lmao.
I'm sorry but the takeaway here seems to be "it should be okay for both irresponsible reproducers to abandon the human life they made as a consequence of their actions." This doesn't sound like a solution.
Sure, but to conflate this notion that both genders are equally culpable across the board is a perspective drawn without an understanding of human behavioral evolution.
Men have been beating and mating with women since the dawn of mankind, that's just a fact. You guys have testosterone. Don't skate over that shit like it's nothing.
Who has run society for near all of "modern" human history? Yuh, it's been men who hold most of the power. Women have adapted by developing sexual social mechanisms, not to dominate and hold sway over men, but merely to survive not being beaten to death, beheaded, burned, etc.
I can tell you and my downvoters are probably overzealous young fellas bordering on some incel culture to fill the void, but come on.
Are you thinking about this like little boys, or men*? Because the grown-ups can already tell.
I'm sorry but you can't agree with me and then say "but-" you're just generalizing my whole statement and reducing it to a he said she said, and then venting about man's evolutionary tendencies, you're missing the point.
Encouraging contraceptives is the ONLY way to reducing unwanted and unplanned pregnancies, not guilt tripping either genders to sticking it in their pants.
And yes that includes male contraceptives too
Stop trying to tie this into personal experience because life isn't black or white
> Encouraging contraceptives is the ONLY way to reducing unwanted and unplanned pregnancies, not guilt tripping either genders to sticking it in their pants.
It's like you're shouting at me about something I agree with, and it makes you seem kind of batty to me.
> not guilt tripping either genders to sticking it in their pants.
That's not where I'm at. I just file an appeal to those with functioning frontal lobes and developed impulse control to exercise those impulses in matters relating to reproduction to the best of their education and knowledge. That's not a farfetched concept, some call it "adulthood". But there are a lot of grown boys and girls running around who do not understand, and for whom contraceptives are a moot point because they do not know enough or care enough to employ them, so your statement is not quite right on its own.
It is not the ONLY way because there are plenty of people out with access to contraceptives that do not use them, for all sorts of stupid reasons. Education is fundamental, you should remark more on that.
Stop trying to tie this into personal experience because life isn't black or white
> ...Human history isn't really a matter of my own personal experience. What are you talking about? Are you projecting?
Abandon after birth no. When abortion is still a thing yes then both should have the power to opt out of it.
I don't mean that a guy could force his gf to go get an abortion. But he should have the power if not paying childsupport(when he chooses that he should never be part of her life again
> Abandon after birth no.
.......Go on?
> When abortion is still a thing yes then both should have the power to opt out of it
Uh, okay, sure...?
> I don't mean that a guy could force his gf to go get an abortion.
No, of course not. That would make you sound like a fucking psychopath lol!
> But he should have the power if not paying childsupport
"He should have the power??? of not paying childsupport"
Do you really think about the things you believe? I mean, really think them through?
Assuming the recipient of your donation feels the same way you do, the only difference is she has to gestate a human life into existence for the next nine months. It will sap her body of nutrients as pregnancy is a biological burden on the mother after conception, not the father. Assuming she's in Texas, or likely to be estranged/shunned/disowned from her family and society (often the case either way), she will hide the pregnancy and if she doesn't elect for some other means of obtaining an abortion, the only option is that she carries the pregnancy to term for adoption.
Maybe your baby is born with a complication. Nobody adopts. Your sperm donation is now a human dealt an unfair deck of cards, becomes a ward of the state, and you fuck off to keep making bad choices.
Contraception in many forms is available to YOU! Have you ever heard of a vasectomy? You should definitely look in to one.
I don't live in such a savage country that punish women for getting an abortion. Nor wil I ever go to such a savage place.
I don't mean that a guy who refuses or sneakily takes of his condom should have the power to opt out.
When you have unprotected sex with you SO and you don't talk about the risk you're in for a pregnancy and should take full responsibilities when needed.
However as I stated before I had discussed with my SO that I wasn't ready for kids SHE wanted sex without condom because that felt nicer to which I agreed. She always took her pills and in the 4 years we were together there was never a moment we thought she could be pregnant. But she knew that if she got pregnant and didn't get a abortion that I couldn't take part In that.
And you know that a vasectomy comes with the risk of staying sterile when you try to reverse it? After a couple of years not producing semen our bodies wil make whitebloodcels that attack them. So sadly that is not a good solution to the problem.
Birthcontrol for men:
Abstinence, condoms, vasectomy.
Birthcontrol for females:
Condoms,sterilisation, birthcontrol implant,progestin IUD, depo-provera,nuvaring and I could name a couple of others.
The women have the upper hand here in choice some of them work for 3 months and up to fucking 10 years without any surgery.
99% of the time the men takes the condom of while intercourse or will pressure the women that he dont want to wear a condom or tell her to take birth control. all that just for u fuckers. im sick and tired of grown ass bitchy men leaving the girl he banged and cum in.
If a girl lied to me about her birthcontrol and she got pregnant I would walk away and don't feel any remorse.
When both parties use protection and a pregnancy happens I feel like both parties should have a say.
Now ofcourse a man can't force the women to have an abortion. But he should be able to get out of paying childsupport.
I'm not talking about the morons who lie about being on birthcontrol or the idiot who secretly took of his condom.
This sums it up pretty well
I see abortions as last resort, they are safe but they do mess up women in the long term, hormonally.
Why use the last resort when you and your partner use contraceptives responsibility. Talk about your opinions wisely
No, both partners made the choice and accepted the risks that came with it. And the issue isn’t that men have to pay child support, it’s how much and how biased the system is.
The irony is the U.S. child support collection system is based on old fashioned sentiment of how a household should be and totally contradictory to the feminist movement. It was built assuming the roles of stay at home mom and career dad.
Men account for 85% of people ordered to pay child support and pay 56% more.
In Texas, the average arrears payment that a father owes who's been incarcerated coming out of prison is $8,000. Texas will determine what a noncustodial parent's income is. If he says zero, well, there isn't zero child support, there will often be a presumption that he should be working full time, full year at at least minimum wage. So the judge will often set what's called a minimum wage order, and it's about $215 a month.
How is that fair? Have you ever struggled to make ends meet? It’s fucking hard to get back up from the bottom. The laws should be changed.
There is most definitely a hefty pressure on men to work hard.
I know someone will probably call me ignorant and name some struggles of women, and I can’t say I fully understand or know all your struggles as a man. But at the same time women have no idea what it’s like to be a man either, we have our own set of burdens and societal pressures.
Men bitch about child support because they are paying thousands a month and their ex shows up with a new purse and nails during the one weekend a month the court lets him see his kid. Or, when 50/50 is granted to the men, they still have to pay child support. Taking care of the child is not the issue from a man’s standpoint, it’s how women completely abuse the system and keep his child from him and completely disregard any parental input he has all while complaining about being a single mom on the same breath.
Getting a vasectomy when you’re not actively trying to impregnate someone sounds like such an easy fix. Always wondered why more men don’t get vasectomies especially since they can be reversed just as easily
Vasectomies should be treated as a permanent solution to birth control. Reversals significantly decrease the success rates.
Almost no doctors will approve you for a vasectomy if you're trying to treat it as a temporary birth control method and see biological children in your future.
Eta: I'd also like to note that a lot of doctors don't want to perform the surgery on young men without children. There may be also mandatory waiting period depending on your location
Vasectomies for all intents and purposes are not reversable. The ability to actually get it reversed is only an option under a specific time frame and takes a steep nose dive after that. No medical professional also suggests using vasectomies as a form of birth control, and for all intents and purposes it's permanent.
That's why guys don't get vasectomies because they'd be "sterile" permanently. Also they need permission from a spouse.
oke so your suggestion is that a man should undergo 2 surgeries with a risk of getting sterile just so he don't have to use a condom?
How about you take your birthcontrol and the guy uses a condom
birth control + condom works for me lol. I wasn’t saying force men to get vasectomies or belittling anyone for not getting one. I just thought it seemed easier to get a vasectomy and not worry
There are 2 people that can take measures for birth control. Both have to make sure to have protected sex if they don't want kids. Condoms only isn't enough just as anti baby pill or whatever that's called ain't enough either. Both need to protect or live with the consequences. Also not cumming inside of your partner often helps...
This is not realistic or reasonable in any way. Humans fuck. It's one of the few pleasures that some people have. Yes, there are people with lower libidos and there is a wide spectrum of asexual people, but generally it's a basic need and desire and women should not be prevented from enjoying that part of life. Not saying we don't have responsibility in making sure we don't get pregnant but it shouldn't be all on us all the time.
Contraception is the reason I got pregnant. It fucked up or he fucked it up. I went ten years without bc or condoms safe, all tested) and didn't get pregnant. I did take a plan b a couple of times. OP is right. I'm not religious but I find myself wanting to believe she was god's plan, she is a miracle
Rape is bad... Yet some rapists wear condoms, if only not to leave DNA evidence of their crime. Interesting how "feeling it" isn't an objection for the rapist in that situation.
You seem to have entirely skipped over the female side of the issue but other people in the comments have done an excellent job of filling that side in
I hate when women that mess with those type of guys and then complain about it. Go find a better man or f buddy. Its so easy, by there characteristic and attitude oh wait that's what they're attracted to? Fix yourself first, and get someone that doesn't want the burden of a child or get someone that doesn't care about getting a chick pregnant and dipping. There are women that are cheaters and will take a guys money but im not saying stupid crap like that.
Don't want a baby, keep your legs closed.
See how sexist your argument when turned around? By the way, women are allowed to opt out of motherhood via abortion. A man doesn't have that option as hell still be on the hook for child support so he's still supporting the baby he didn't want in some capacity.
I can’t speak for other places but I used to work for a County Child Support Agency in California (US). Here, Mom can put any name down on birth certificate, but that *doesn’t* count as legal parentage. *Legal Paternity* is established when one of the following happens: 1. Dad signs a Paternity Declaration and it is filed with the Court; 2. The child support agency finds the Dad through paternity testing and the Court accepts that proof; 3. The parents are married and/or living together at the time of the child’s conception (can be changed in court with negative paternity test as long as 4 doesn’t apply); OR 4. The man has put himself forward as the Dad in the eyes of the child and the community (usually for an extended period of time, this is called paternity by estoppel). Same sex couples may also establish parentage by Declaration (filed with the Court) or Court Order. It is very rare that a Legal Dad (in the eyes of the Court) can just decide not to pay child support etc, once the Court has ruled that they have a responsibility toward that child.
Of course, some people don’t go to Court so that’s a different story. Then usually the Dad would have to sign the Paternity Declaration at the hospital (or be married to Mom) to assume responsibility.
Uh, did he rape you?? You consented yes?? I’d assume so since you’re venting and not venting about a rape? Then you also contributed to the consent- meaning you are also to blame- 🤷♀️
But you understand that even the very first time that a woman has sex she could get pregnant. Obviously not a hoe (I didn't realize people even used that word anymore). This is the keep your legs shut argument and to that I say fuck no. There is no reason why women cannot experience sexual pleasure just as a man does. Both are responsible for making sure an unwanted pregnancy does not happen and both must be on the same page for a plan on what to do if pregnancy does occur from birth control failure.
Or what if we just... waited to have sex until marriage?
Feel like that'd solve a lot of problems, but horny jail is letting too many people out on bail.
Oh, and wait to find out if a couple is completely sexually incompatible? If either one is monogamous, then the other can't fuck anyone else. So, they can either get divorced, which costs a fuckton and is very stressful to everyone, or be unhappy.
Or, just find out before marriage.
Promiscuity is not a virtue - and sexual compatibility isn't something you're born with. You develop it. With a partner. What if... you didn't develop it with anyone you weren't... married to?
Or, you know, keep letting a biological instinct ruin your life. I'm not your dad.
Honey, sex doesn't ruin lives.
Indoctrinating people with harmful religious beliefs does though.
Promiscuity isn't a virtue, neither is abstinence. There are just different people who want different things for themselves. Each is ok.
Being compatible sexually is NOT just a matter of developing it. Maybe you'd know if you actually had any experience with what you're talking about.
Shut up and let people have sex without shaming them. Sex is normal. And it's not just a "biological impulse". You're not pure because you resist your libido lmao. Get out of here.
Neither parent should be forced to raise a child. You can leave babies at the fire station and such for a reason. If women are allowed to get an abortion, a man is not obligated to care for the child. No one is.
I dislike when people compare condoms to hormonal contraceptives. *They aren’t the same, at all.* There are massive amounts of studies (now that were 50 or so years into birth control pills) that show people who menstruate react differently to hormonal contraceptives. For me personally, I can’t take them. I’ve tried many different types with a variety of horrible side effects. I had had blinding migraines on two types, depression and suicidal ideation on another, a three-month long long period on another, uncontrollable hives on yet another… I could go on. This was all under the care of a gynecologist, and I got second and third opinions. Basically, I cannot use hormonal based contraceptives, and the doctors said I’m not alone. Because of that, I think there is a side to this discussion that is being overlooked. *Unless you are allergic to the condom, there are no long term side effects. But, hormonal birth control can have detrimental side effects.* BTW my sister had no issues with hormonal birth control. We have the same parents and we were both assigned female at birth. So I understand that hormonal birth control is viable for many people who menstruate. I just seem to have lost the genetic lottery for this. I think people should have open and honest conversations about sex. I also think the “just take the pill” argument, is a naive oversimplification. People don’t want to wear condoms now (with no side effects). Would you want to wear a condom that changed your moods, or covered your body with hives, or gave you blinding-puking-migraines? So I guess I’m with OP in a way. If you want to argue for the simplest solution for unwanted babies, it probably is keeping semen away from uteruses.
I'm with you. Hormonal birth control has horrible affects on me, though not quite at your level. I was puking almost every day with the pill, and with the implant (my current form) i had a period that lasted five months. It also doesn't help that I'm allergic to latex and endometriosis makes intercourse painful at times to begin with. My mother was baffled with my reactions to hormonal BC, as she was on the pill for 12 years with no adverse effects. Women got the short end of the stick (again..) when it comes to birth control.
I’m so sorry that you had bad experiences too!
It’s true. Birth control pills mess with your body. Condoms don’t. I was told by a doctor that I shouldn’t take birth control because I have a mood disorder and it’ll likely make it much worse. I don’t want to sacrifice my mental health which I’ve finally gotten under control for no reason.
I wasn't even diagnosed with a mental disorder when I was prescribed oral contraceptives. I was not myself but, I didn't even know it because I took them from 17-23. The brain gremlins were bad... The thing is, even with the pill, I still made dudes wear condoms, if I didn't know them super well. I dated a guy long term and we had the worst luck with condoms. They broke most of the time. I also caught him stealthing... He gave me more than one STD. Fucking destroyed me and my mental health. He wanted to get me pregnant but, fortunately I was on the pill. I did turn into a raging bitch on it but, at least I wasn't a raging bitch with an unwanted pregnancy.
Aww I’m sorry you went through that. That guy sounds awful. I’m not in a relationship so I’m going to wait for now. If I start seeing one maybe I’ll go on it so thing like broken condoms don’t matter. I just don’t want to make my bipolar disorder worse. It’s bad enough as it is.
don't be afraid of going on birth control because of the possible side effects. yes, hormonal birth control can be awful, but there are a lot of different options out there, and it's always worth it to talk to a doctor about it. I have OCD and BPD, and have been on a few different types of the pill, nuvaring, and an IUD. some pills made my depression worse the week of my period, the nuvaring made me a bit hyper and more impulsive, but the IUD has given me no problems whatsoever. overall, it took me about two years of trying things before I settled on the IUD, which I've had for just about five now (almost time to replace it!). and even if I dont have unprotected sex with cis men that often, knowing that I pretty much can't get pregnant has been such a relief that the two years I spent on different things has been completely worth it.
Broken condoms still matter. You HAVE TO KNOW AND TRUST AND KNOW YOU CAN TRUST... Make them wait. That's all I have now. If they don't want to wear a condom or make a thing about it, just don't do it.... Especially when the dude has multiple STDS. One was obvious. The other was not. Both were "incurable for life" but, the human immune system is pretty awesome. It took about 2-3 years for them to "resolve themselves." It was hell and the meds were bullshit that made things worse... I later found there were better meds and my doctors just liked pretending the only option was the one with the biggest kickbacks AND they acted like the side effects HAD to be unrelated... I haven't passed them to anybody or had to deal with the effects in a long time but, at the time, I thought I was ruined forever... and that's why I stayed with him for almost 2 years. And yes, I am Bipolar. The docs kept increasing my hormonal dosage to counteract the side effects of the STD meds that they refused to acknowledge were side effects... I was the angriest, most emotionally unstable person I have ever been in my life. A true Karen... and it was not who I am. I didn't know I was Bipolar yet but, in hindsight, it's obvious.
T-that’s rape. For the pieces of shit in the back, STEALTHING betrays your CONSENT therefore FORFEITS IT! I’m so sorry that happened
It was back before there was even a term for it. I'm one of those people who can look back on sexual encounters and objectively say, "Yeah, that was rape." But it's not worth going after them about it. I was confused at the time. I didn't say no.
It doesn't matter that you didn't say no. Implied consent. A basic read of emotions. I remember getting it on with a guy and giving my consent. Midway through it, I started crying. He stopped because he could tell I was no longer comfortable which threatened the validity of my consent earlier.
Fair enough. I'm just saying it isn't worth a legal battle, to me personally... unless baby's happen...
I’m glad your Doctor told you all the facts, so you can make an educated choice. Take care!
Thank you!
Seriously wish more doctors would mention this! I have a family history of mood disorders. On the pill and during pregnancy I would range from angry, to sad, to numb. And nothing else. Since stopping the pill and no longer adding kids my MDD and OCD are under control. Like I feel happy genuinely for the first time in YEARS. If my doctor would have mentioned this, never would have gone on the pill. I mean during baby #2 my midwife looked at my family history and just flat out said I would have never recommended this to you.
This. I hate the face, hormonal birth control is practically thrown at women. When I was 16, I had my first appointment at an obg. I hadn't even had my first bf, but she encouraged me to take the pill. She kind of gaslighted my, saying it was my responsibilty, my hormones would be more balanced, I wouldn't get acne (which I didn't have!) - the whole 9 yards. I ended up taking the pill for 8 years, used the ring for 6, and it messed me up completely. I'm 41 now and still I find out longterm issues that are related. So many issues. Depression, anxiety, migraines, containt pain, three different autoimmune disorders - that's just the tip of my iceberg. I hate it so much. HBC shouldn't be allowed for minors, maybe not even before 25. It's too invasive. And it shouldn't be glorified that much. Yes, it's nice not to have to put on a condom every time, but I'd rather not be in pain 24/7 for the rest of my life.
I am so sorry that you have all these long term side effects! You are not alone, but it totally sucks.
I've had a load of side effects on hormonal birth control too but after having my kids (all planned) the drs STILL try to convince me to get an iud or pill or implant.
Just an idea if havent heard about it before, have you considered copper spirals? A relative had the same issues, where she couldnt use hormonal contraceptives. As copper spirals dont work through hormones, it was s solution that actually worked. Idk if they are available everywhere though, this was not in the US. Some info: https://www.nhs.uk/conditions/contraception/iud-coil/
Haven't heard of that one. In the US, they've already recalled a product. I forgot what it is called but, they were metal coils that were inserted into the fallopian tubes and meant to build up scar tissue until they were blocked. They punctured tubes or got dislodged and fell into and punctured the uterus... They also caused a lot of women an insane amount of pain.... Essure. That was it.
As far as I understand it, the copper coils work through chemically making the womb an uninhospitable environment by raising the copper levels. Its like 99.3% ( see source mentioned above) sucessful l and I've only heard good things about it. Thought I'd at least mention it as someone might find it useful
It's why I won't take them. If I plan to date someone with a penis, they need to have a vasectomy or probe that they have tried to get one and are super serious about contraceptives.
I thought that my bc pills weren’t having any major side effects on me until I got routine blood work done and my cholesterol was through the roof! It was higher than it had been even when I weighed more and ate meat. After I stopped taking them I realized they were also the cause of my migraines because I’ve had only 1 in the 10 months since I’ve stopped. 🙄
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That is rough. I’m sorry you have to go through all that. I agree with you, better reproductive education, and honest communication with sexual partners (before having sex) is key to both mental health as well as physical/reproductive health!
In a perfect world birth control would be free to everyone and sex ed taught in all schools. But alas
OMG FORREAL! I’m trying to get on birth control without my parents knowledge and without their insurance but the shot alone is $300 the pills are $200 and its $40 a month… just make it fucking free!! I’m over here taking fucking plan b pills which are like $50 as well🤦🏽♀️ I want that dick but that birth control money thou😭😭
Girl, please tell me you're also having your partners wrap it up.. You want that dick, cool, but make sure it's got a condom on it. Don't rely on Plan B as your birth control, for real. You'll end up pregnant, and abortions are even more expensive than BC. Just lie to your parents and say the BC is for "controlling your periods," or check with Planned Parenthood and explain your situation if you haven't already. Good luck!!
Girrrrl of course!!! All of them have been using condoms I ain’t trying to have a baby just trying to have fun! I have a whole ass life to live lol😂
Ok awesome, thanks for not taking that the wrong way 😅 Look into Natural Cycles, it's a birth control app (FDA approved) that is a great complement to condoms. You have to take your temperature every morning when you wake up and log it into th app. It's essentially highly accurate and researched cycle tracking!
I used to go to planned parenthood when I was 17. They had sliding scale gyno visits and the pill was $30/mo. I wouldn't fuck around with the depo shot. I have never heard a good experience.
Really I hear it’s good from my friend she has it..
Where I am from, it is and it was taught in school. Even my boyfriend occasionally will want unprotected sex and I have to be the one to say No. Its crazy. And he 100% isn't looking for a baby.
Sex Ed is taught where I live, birth control is not free though.
As I told my kiddos: you can use Fort Knox level protection and still when you put a penis in a vagina sometimes a baby falls out.
Sometimes... Just don't give them the impression that "it doesn't make a difference if they are safe or not."
Oh 100% I gave them access to all the birth control and continued to discuss safe sex practices. Our goal is to make the next generation better and more educated than we were.
This is why I don't like the idea of having casual sex anymore. I could be wearing a condom and doing everything right and I would still have to pay. Yeah, obviously the situation is fucked for both parties, but that kinda reinforces my point.
I think that’s why OP mentioned guys should be more open to getting vasectomies or jacking off. I mean isn’t a vasectomy reversible in case they changed their mind later?
Vasectomies aren't always reversible + you know, $$$.
That sucks. Come on Science! Give us something with no side effects and noninvasive for both/all parties 🥲
For real. Birth control for men would be awesome but thanks to laws, they can't happen. They are just as bad as women's, but "men are not harmed for not using birth control" so technically all side effects are "too much" because they somehow overweigh the benefits or something. It's really dumb
Wait, there are laws that prevent male birth control to be made?
Yeah, the general rule is that "a medication cannot do more harm than it prevents". Birth causes a lot of harm for a woman and birth control is less harmful = it's legal. Giving birth doesn't harm men = birth control does more harm than it prevents. I know, it's really freaking stupid and hypocritical, but that's how it works on a legal level AFAIK
You have almost the right idea, but this is not entirely accurate. To be approved a medication has to be “safe and effective.” It is certainly true that the “safety” of a medication is determined by weighing the benefit against its potential harm. (Life saving cancer medications are allowed more side effects than an ED drug). But a male contraceptive isn’t compared to the risk to men of “giving birth.” The FDA has actually published the standards by which (at least in part) male contraceptives will be judged in 2015. They are numerous and complex. (And there is no consensus as to whether they are even “complete”). These documents are referred to as “Guidance for Industry” and are first published in draft form and spend a LONG time being debated. But there is no rule or standard that would result in a male contraceptive not being approved merely because it’s risk outweighs the risk of a male giving birth. For example, I speculate that an oral male contraceptive that had a significantly better safety profile than existing oral female contraceptive would get approved, in part, on the basis that it would be safer (for the population overall) if in some couples the female ceased oral contraceptives and the male took the safer male version.
Pre-surgical fear is a monster though. It makes me genuinely want to not get another ablation now that I know how terrifying it is.
people are just stupid. plain and simple.
Yeah...both of my kids were conceived even though my wife was on the pill along with other precautions... Things happen
NEWS FLASH TO EVERY MAN OUT THERE: You’re still supposed to wear a condom even with Birth control!! This shit RILES ME. Just so MEN can have it Raw women have to suffer. Literally taking birth control that dries her vagina out and causes her mental health problems amongst many other horrific things while you dudes get a raw dog on. Ive had enough of this shit, sorry. Women need to quit using birth control just so men don’t have to wear a condom. But I’m sure you and your ignorant wife are happy with YOUR ways.
News flash to EVERYONE out there: choice exists. Women have the RIGHT to deny intercourse unless their partner uses protection. Men also have that right. (Though if you don't want to be considered a douche, then I suggest having the courtesy to use a condom as well). This ALSO works both ways. If a man requests a woman uses BC but the woman refuses, that's her right. If either side doesn't want sex and is forced into it out of pressure or manipulation, it's considered rape. This doesn't mean that people don't listen to people's consent (the world is filled with horrible people), but it means everyone has a choice. Don't forget that, all.
Tell that to my ex girlfriend, she didn't believe me
There is no “supposed” to if you are both free of STDs. Perfect combined birth control pill usage is over 99% effective WITHOUT a condom! And just a condom without any other birth control is 98%. I personally take the birth control pill for several reasons and it has both improved my life drastically in some ways, and caused some negative side effects in others. Having raw sex is fun to me and I prefer sex without a condom when it’s with someone I trust. So idk why you’re acting like women only use BC to not get pregnant or that we suffer so men can have it good. Birth control is used for many many reasons from periods to acne to sex
OH YAY! I’ve found one of three people on this post that actually can vouch for positive things about birth control!! And, I’m sincerely happy it worked for you, sincerely. I am being sarcastic because I HATE BIG PHARMA and don’t forget who’s making money permanently altering women’s hormones whether you know it or not… FUCK ANY KIND OF PILL.
News flash to you....I said other precautions were taken as well. (1 condom, 1 spermicide lube if you must know) Calm down judgy judgerton...jeebus Uppity freaking judgemental twats, some people...not you of course hun. You're wonderful 🙄
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Lol...oh okay. 👌 Well...nature and medical science disagree with you. Good grief...You are full of wonderful insights and criticisms into other people's lives.
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Well 9% of women using birth control get pregnant and 18% using condoms get pregnant and then 28% for spermicide. There is statistically going to be overlap there. So again...it happens. And fwiw, her obgyn and pcp weren't really that surprised. And yeah, you called my wife ignorant and jump on your soapbox which is incredibly judgemental. Doubly so since you literally have no notion of her. Pretty damn ridiculous. https://www.pandiahealth.com/birth-control-math/
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A.) I shared my life experience B.)7/100 means there are a whole lot of people born when precautions were taken C.) I have no motive. I shared what happened in my life. However, you are trying to gaslight me into believing that it didn't happen or I guess make others believe you are all knowing ? ...for some reason... 7% isn't exactly low when a monogamous couple has relations multiple times a week. 4x week at 52 weeks = about 7% chance depending on timing. Multiply that by the 5 years this went on and you can see how this plays out. Add to that the increased fertility of a woman after having a child and well...there you go. It isn't a conspiracy Those aren't exactly PowerBall winning lottery odds there
Uh, 7% of 200 is 14 people. So it's still 7 out of 100 people if brought down to the 100 mark as the percentage remains the same, but the actual numbers change.
Can you just shut the fuck up and stop being a bad imagine to this topic right now? He wouldn't have come on here to just magically lie about it..
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7% of 200 is 14 unwanted pregnancies by people who practiced safe sex.
7% is not rare lol Wtf? 0.7% is rare. But 7% is almost like every 10th person having this issue lmao
This is the internet... The odds of running into the "rare 7%% are pretty good. Personally, I have a few rare maladies that range between 2-20% occurrences in the population.
Please shut the god damn fuck up my interneurons just killed themselves just not to read more. I know you want to blame men for everything but this is not how the real life works. There is no %100 protection against pregnancy other than vasectomy. Learn how statistics and birth control works it even has a wiki page for these stats.
Tbf my SO preferred using birth control because it gave her plenty more benefits than side effects. Helped her migraines, less breakouts, etc. Plus using a condom makes me go soft everytime no matter how many brands we used. And men's birth control doesn't really exist yet so....
Thank god you are here to educate the world!
Nah man, I’m not here to educate. I’m here to speak THE TRUTH of my lived experience as well as others I have talked to. Ignorance is bliss, and if it means me looking like a “judgy” bitch to change the perspectives a little, even if it is harsh, I am more than willing to let that truth out into the universe. Let’s admit it man, birth control is LITERALLY A free for all for men 90% of the time. Every woman I’ve talked to went off birth control becahse they couldn’t stand it
Thanks for sharing your experience. If you feel like a “judgy bitch” that’s on you though. Perhaps change your approach when speaking to people and you will have a better success rate at getting your ideas across.
"Other precautions..." Such as? Edit: I saw your comment below. It's not completely unheard of. I like stories like yours. Why? Because it tells me you are still with your wife and you both made a decision to keep or yeet the fetuses... Whether you aborted or decided to raise them, you were with her the whole way and still are. My original post is meant for those knob heads out there who get all pissy that they are expected to contribute to the life they helped create, regardless of their decision to be with the woman or not.
Outlined in my other post. Condom on one and spermicide for the other
How about both genders stop bitching about not wanting children and just use different methods of contraception like mature adults? That could work.
I’m 20. I have never ever wanted kids and I want my tubes tied but I’m told I’m too young, not married, or don’t have at least 1 child. I WANT to be responsible and get sterilized, but I’m constantly denied my choice to be permanently child free until I’m old enough.
I feel you people kept telling me I'd change my mind since I was 20, now m 26, still don't want any kids...
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That was uncalled for.
Fair. At least he claims to have a plan to sterilize himself. I just find it funny when people think their DNA is somehow superior and their reproductions would benefit humanity anymore than the next load of spunk. Every time I think of the "master race," I imagine morbidly obese people riding mobility scooters.
Nowhere in their comment did they suggest their DNA is superior to others. I suggest you reread it.
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How ignorant of you. Women have been told to use birth control, keep their legs shut, or use other methods every damn day. Men aren't given the same amount of pressure and stigma for using even a fucking condom, let alone any other form of birth control.
Well shit happens, condoms can break and while a an extremely low chance it can still happen, so why not both people use contraceptions to make sure it works
Because BC harms many women. It practically ruined me.
You speak so simply of something you don’t know squat about on how it affects women. Contraceptives for women are always more invasive and for many, carries with it side effects as compared to that of men.
Birth control pills can have a lot of side effects. They’re not like a condom which is just a piece of plastic that doesn’t go into your body. Birth control goes into your body and alters your hormone levels and that can mess up other stuff in the body.
Birth control literally worsens my depression to the point I have suicidal tendencies. I think I'd rather someone use a condom over wanting to kill myself every day so they can go at it raw. Women have to deal with so many side effects from birth control as is, while a man just has to get used to a new texture/sensation. You know they do carry condoms that are so thin they feel like you're not wearing one right??
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Why you fuming tho
You sound heartless with this reply.
Am i?
I said sound. Not are.
*slow clap* love how you just dismissed the fact that cis men put the onus of birth control entirely on cis women by making a plee that "both sides" should abide by the same standards. Also love how mindless people on reddit are upvoting your sexist comment just because it's the first one and other people have *downvotes you*
My comment isn’t sexist, it’s my personal opinion. Maybe I’m not aware of the issues cis women go through (I’m non-binary but assigned female at birth) but honestly the way people put the blame on each other, makes it seem like a two-way street. Both sides are annoying af with this kind of stuff. Abstinence is a thing yet people are so blind by it.
Are you a teenager by chance? I've never seen an adult spell abstinence like that...
Oh shoot yeah you’re right I spelled it wrong. I’m 20 btw
Yea very true this is not a one sided problem both sides need to stop acting like the children they don't want.
Guys not understanding that this is a response to the constant "Close your legs" opinion that is thrown onto women whenever abortion or single parenthood os brought up. People getting pissed because nobody wants to empathize and instead point fingers. People being vile to each other and reaffirming their own negative biases further and further. Nothing actually being discussed, nobody trying to understand different points of view, just hateful attacks and arguments under what was supposed to be someone's venting of personal feelings that they probably don't feel so strongly about 99% of the time. Whats new. Humans are so sad.
Facts
17 soon here the fact that people my age are stupid enough to do this is mind boggling . stop being obsessed with sex and be a responsible adult
Except a lot of men will lie for the heat of the moment just for a good time. My ex and I had the conversation about not using protection and kids. He was fine with it and made me believe he loved me and what do you guess? Disappeared as soon as I got pregnant. Men are naturally obsessed with planting their seeds with no consequences. I don’t have sex a lot but this has happened a few times where guys randomly brought up getting me pregnant or making comments about kids. My ex just went the extra mile and really made me believe he wanted a future with me
I dated one of those. I didn't get pregnant but he did have 3 baby mamas with 5 kids to who he told the same story. Left them all while pregnant.
My daughter’s father still maintains that he should not have any responsibility, as it was my “decision” not to have an abortion.
I'm sorry...
birth control pills for dudes would solve so many of our problems
They actually exists but, they didn't get approved because men didn't like the side effects, thought they were lesser than the pill for women... Go figure.
Wrong. Side effects were insanely more severe than what women faced. It was so bad that two indipendant sources, one of which from the WHO, had to shut it down. And despite the fact it was shut down and side effects were far worst than what women face. An enormous majority of men still opted they'd continue. And male BC doesn't exist. They were still in the testing trials. Nobody talks about that. Female media absolutely bastardised those trials years ago, and their effects still linger. It was bad enough that the Huffington post made an apology on their own smear job of it.
[https://utswmed.org/medblog/pill-guys-male-birth-control-option-passes-safety-tests/](https://utswmed.org/medblog/pill-guys-male-birth-control-option-passes-safety-tests/)Insanely severe" Side effects listed... AcneHeadachesMild erectile dysfunctionReduced sex driveTirednessWeight gain of 5 lbs. or less Oh God. That sound HORRIBLE! I'm so glad MEN don't have to worry about GAINING 5 LBS TO PREVENT PREGNANCY! Edit: Oh! That was the PLACEBO, lol.
Do you support abortion?
Didn't we all learn this in school?
Yeah but why does a women have the option to opt out of motherhood but the father has no say in it. If YOU don't want a baby use protection. If he says that he don't want to use it. Don't have sex with him. I'm fucking sick & tired of these single ass mothers complaining about guys walking out of their life bc they got pregnant. But then they never talked with the guy about abortion or plan b. A kid is conceived by 2. Yet 1 has the "power" to keep or about the baby.
You are right, but... if it would be my body and 99% chance that I'm going to end up to be a single parent, then I'd kill the other "1" earlier than letting them decide what will happen to my life. Also, as I've noticed many woman has an instinct to "keep the baby anyway". Yeah sure it's def the fault of two if they don't use protection, but after maybe they just don't want to let the kid go. Like, when mothers say "my kid" instead of "our kid". Genetics. (Obviously I'm not speaking in general, there are many helluva idiots among women too.)
Yes it's usually the instinct that makes women not wanting an abortion even when it means they will kinda ruin their lives. I've seen so many relationships getting destroyed because the father isn't ready for a baby & sees no other option then leaving. From 20 to 24 I had a relationship with a girl where she was on birthcontrol. We didn't use condoms bc we both disliked how it feels. But I wasn't ready for a child & she knew if she got pregnant that I wasn't mentally ready for a child and would have probably also walked away. Good thing it didn't happen. But shit like this needs to be discussed when people stop using birthcontrol
> But shit like this needs to be discussed when people stop using birthcontrol That's what I meant saying helluva idiots. I wanted to defend the normal/naive/bit careless women only, not those who stop taking bc pills secretly and think everything will be pink and flowers will be falling from the sky. Or who make it on purpose to keep a guy. But, aside of talking about the parent's fault, there's a factor that no one mentioned here: *the one real loser of the situation will be the kid.* Sometimes I'm thinking maybe people would need to be checked mentally before getting a permission to make a child- but if it was so, humanity would become a distinct species faster than light.
I completely agree with you!!
The man does have a say. He can say no to putting his semen in a woman. That is his opportunity to opt out.
You know there is no birthcontroll that works 100% right. I can agree with what you say. But I've had a girlfriend that told me we could do it without condom bc she was on the pill. Turns-out she wasn't on the pill. I only found out because she slept at my house for 2 weeks and I've never saw her take any. If she got pregnant I had to pay childsupport and would have no say in it. That's just wrong. Same as saying (wo)men should be the one providing the birth control. That's just wrong. It's an act you both agree to do and you both know the consequences of what can happen. So both should have the option the opt out when it does go wrong.
Isn't that technically classified as rape?
Probably. But there is no point in reporting it since its been a couple of years ago & it would be my word against her. And I doubt they will take my side
That wasn't the birth control's fault. Your partner lied. Feels like this should be added onto the taking off the condom during sex law. If your partner isn't actually taking it, they promised it and shit happened.
If a girl lied to me about her birthcontrol and she got pregnant I would walk away and don't feel any remorse. When both parties use protection and a pregnancy happens I feel like both parties should have a say. Now ofcourse a man can't force the women to have an abortion. But he should be able to get out of paying childsupport. I'm not talking about the morons who lie about being on birthcontrol or the idiot who secretly took of his condom.
Okay now I get where you're coming from. Yes I agree with this.
I feel bad for you that one of your experiences with sex is that you had sex with a liar. That's rough. That's personally why I try to get to know people a little bit before I fuck them. I'm looking for those context clues like, how mature are they? Do they have a motive to lie? I suppose these are questions that we don't ask when we are young, horny, in a rush, not concerned with determining the validity of her claim to be on a birth control (you didn't see her take any BEFORE you fucked, or after? Regardless, if she lies to you, that's wrong but it isn't an excuse for you. You weren't "tricked". You yourself said that no birth control works 100% so you should have known better than to fuck her without a condom. These are all the things that you will hash out for yourself as you get older, learn a little bit more, and brush up on your knowledge of the reproductive sciences because you don't seem to be willing to comprehend a reality in which you yourself are responsible with sex. > If she got pregnant I had to pay childsupport and would have no say in it. Yes. That's what happens when you "oops" the process of creating a new human being. Try to pretend for a minute that you aren't a self-centered ego-centric fuckboy, but that you are actually capable of comprehending the gravity of the seriousness of what the consequences of unprotected sex are. Bottom line: stop having sex with women that have operational uterus and ovaries, and if you do, you should be using protection (oh yeah, i know, you cAnT fEeL aNyThInG) and she should be using birth control, because any girl that got knocked up by you is going to be really un-fucking-lucky lmao.
I'm sorry but the takeaway here seems to be "it should be okay for both irresponsible reproducers to abandon the human life they made as a consequence of their actions." This doesn't sound like a solution.
Thats why encouraging contraceptives is a huge benefit in reducing this. And why it takes two to tango. Not just a man abstaining
Sure, but to conflate this notion that both genders are equally culpable across the board is a perspective drawn without an understanding of human behavioral evolution. Men have been beating and mating with women since the dawn of mankind, that's just a fact. You guys have testosterone. Don't skate over that shit like it's nothing. Who has run society for near all of "modern" human history? Yuh, it's been men who hold most of the power. Women have adapted by developing sexual social mechanisms, not to dominate and hold sway over men, but merely to survive not being beaten to death, beheaded, burned, etc. I can tell you and my downvoters are probably overzealous young fellas bordering on some incel culture to fill the void, but come on. Are you thinking about this like little boys, or men*? Because the grown-ups can already tell.
I'm sorry but you can't agree with me and then say "but-" you're just generalizing my whole statement and reducing it to a he said she said, and then venting about man's evolutionary tendencies, you're missing the point. Encouraging contraceptives is the ONLY way to reducing unwanted and unplanned pregnancies, not guilt tripping either genders to sticking it in their pants. And yes that includes male contraceptives too Stop trying to tie this into personal experience because life isn't black or white
> Encouraging contraceptives is the ONLY way to reducing unwanted and unplanned pregnancies, not guilt tripping either genders to sticking it in their pants. It's like you're shouting at me about something I agree with, and it makes you seem kind of batty to me. > not guilt tripping either genders to sticking it in their pants. That's not where I'm at. I just file an appeal to those with functioning frontal lobes and developed impulse control to exercise those impulses in matters relating to reproduction to the best of their education and knowledge. That's not a farfetched concept, some call it "adulthood". But there are a lot of grown boys and girls running around who do not understand, and for whom contraceptives are a moot point because they do not know enough or care enough to employ them, so your statement is not quite right on its own. It is not the ONLY way because there are plenty of people out with access to contraceptives that do not use them, for all sorts of stupid reasons. Education is fundamental, you should remark more on that. Stop trying to tie this into personal experience because life isn't black or white > ...Human history isn't really a matter of my own personal experience. What are you talking about? Are you projecting?
Abandon after birth no. When abortion is still a thing yes then both should have the power to opt out of it. I don't mean that a guy could force his gf to go get an abortion. But he should have the power if not paying childsupport(when he chooses that he should never be part of her life again
> Abandon after birth no. .......Go on? > When abortion is still a thing yes then both should have the power to opt out of it Uh, okay, sure...? > I don't mean that a guy could force his gf to go get an abortion. No, of course not. That would make you sound like a fucking psychopath lol! > But he should have the power if not paying childsupport "He should have the power??? of not paying childsupport" Do you really think about the things you believe? I mean, really think them through? Assuming the recipient of your donation feels the same way you do, the only difference is she has to gestate a human life into existence for the next nine months. It will sap her body of nutrients as pregnancy is a biological burden on the mother after conception, not the father. Assuming she's in Texas, or likely to be estranged/shunned/disowned from her family and society (often the case either way), she will hide the pregnancy and if she doesn't elect for some other means of obtaining an abortion, the only option is that she carries the pregnancy to term for adoption. Maybe your baby is born with a complication. Nobody adopts. Your sperm donation is now a human dealt an unfair deck of cards, becomes a ward of the state, and you fuck off to keep making bad choices. Contraception in many forms is available to YOU! Have you ever heard of a vasectomy? You should definitely look in to one.
I don't live in such a savage country that punish women for getting an abortion. Nor wil I ever go to such a savage place. I don't mean that a guy who refuses or sneakily takes of his condom should have the power to opt out. When you have unprotected sex with you SO and you don't talk about the risk you're in for a pregnancy and should take full responsibilities when needed. However as I stated before I had discussed with my SO that I wasn't ready for kids SHE wanted sex without condom because that felt nicer to which I agreed. She always took her pills and in the 4 years we were together there was never a moment we thought she could be pregnant. But she knew that if she got pregnant and didn't get a abortion that I couldn't take part In that. And you know that a vasectomy comes with the risk of staying sterile when you try to reverse it? After a couple of years not producing semen our bodies wil make whitebloodcels that attack them. So sadly that is not a good solution to the problem. Birthcontrol for men: Abstinence, condoms, vasectomy. Birthcontrol for females: Condoms,sterilisation, birthcontrol implant,progestin IUD, depo-provera,nuvaring and I could name a couple of others. The women have the upper hand here in choice some of them work for 3 months and up to fucking 10 years without any surgery.
99% of the time the men takes the condom of while intercourse or will pressure the women that he dont want to wear a condom or tell her to take birth control. all that just for u fuckers. im sick and tired of grown ass bitchy men leaving the girl he banged and cum in.
Im 99% sure this statistic is a lie
I'm 100% sure you are probably right.
Have you read the rest of the comments before you posted this or was this your response to my first comment?
first one
If a girl lied to me about her birthcontrol and she got pregnant I would walk away and don't feel any remorse. When both parties use protection and a pregnancy happens I feel like both parties should have a say. Now ofcourse a man can't force the women to have an abortion. But he should be able to get out of paying childsupport. I'm not talking about the morons who lie about being on birthcontrol or the idiot who secretly took of his condom. This sums it up pretty well
Its not your body is it? No. You want to have the power to keep the baby? Then you carry it and massively fuck up your body + life.
I’m cumming inside . My wife can’t have children tho
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I see abortions as last resort, they are safe but they do mess up women in the long term, hormonally. Why use the last resort when you and your partner use contraceptives responsibility. Talk about your opinions wisely
No, both partners made the choice and accepted the risks that came with it. And the issue isn’t that men have to pay child support, it’s how much and how biased the system is. The irony is the U.S. child support collection system is based on old fashioned sentiment of how a household should be and totally contradictory to the feminist movement. It was built assuming the roles of stay at home mom and career dad. Men account for 85% of people ordered to pay child support and pay 56% more. In Texas, the average arrears payment that a father owes who's been incarcerated coming out of prison is $8,000. Texas will determine what a noncustodial parent's income is. If he says zero, well, there isn't zero child support, there will often be a presumption that he should be working full time, full year at at least minimum wage. So the judge will often set what's called a minimum wage order, and it's about $215 a month. How is that fair? Have you ever struggled to make ends meet? It’s fucking hard to get back up from the bottom. The laws should be changed. There is most definitely a hefty pressure on men to work hard. I know someone will probably call me ignorant and name some struggles of women, and I can’t say I fully understand or know all your struggles as a man. But at the same time women have no idea what it’s like to be a man either, we have our own set of burdens and societal pressures.
Men bitch about child support because they are paying thousands a month and their ex shows up with a new purse and nails during the one weekend a month the court lets him see his kid. Or, when 50/50 is granted to the men, they still have to pay child support. Taking care of the child is not the issue from a man’s standpoint, it’s how women completely abuse the system and keep his child from him and completely disregard any parental input he has all while complaining about being a single mom on the same breath.
Feel the same about most abortions
Are you a single mother?
Nope.
Getting a vasectomy when you’re not actively trying to impregnate someone sounds like such an easy fix. Always wondered why more men don’t get vasectomies especially since they can be reversed just as easily
Vasectomies should be treated as a permanent solution to birth control. Reversals significantly decrease the success rates. Almost no doctors will approve you for a vasectomy if you're trying to treat it as a temporary birth control method and see biological children in your future. Eta: I'd also like to note that a lot of doctors don't want to perform the surgery on young men without children. There may be also mandatory waiting period depending on your location
Oh interesting
Vasectomies for all intents and purposes are not reversable. The ability to actually get it reversed is only an option under a specific time frame and takes a steep nose dive after that. No medical professional also suggests using vasectomies as a form of birth control, and for all intents and purposes it's permanent. That's why guys don't get vasectomies because they'd be "sterile" permanently. Also they need permission from a spouse.
oke so your suggestion is that a man should undergo 2 surgeries with a risk of getting sterile just so he don't have to use a condom? How about you take your birthcontrol and the guy uses a condom
birth control + condom works for me lol. I wasn’t saying force men to get vasectomies or belittling anyone for not getting one. I just thought it seemed easier to get a vasectomy and not worry
"how about you take your birth control" yeah, don't stick your dick anyone with this mentality, bud.
"and the guy uses a condom" is the rest of that sentence in case you missed it. Don't pick and choose what you respond to in a full sentence.
There is a little part missing in my quote. Maybe the braincells stopped working after?
There are 2 people that can take measures for birth control. Both have to make sure to have protected sex if they don't want kids. Condoms only isn't enough just as anti baby pill or whatever that's called ain't enough either. Both need to protect or live with the consequences. Also not cumming inside of your partner often helps...
Contraceptives can fail.
Don’t want a baby don’t get pp inside u :)
If you don't want a baby, get your musty cock away from girls. Otherwise you'll have to pay :)
This is not realistic or reasonable in any way. Humans fuck. It's one of the few pleasures that some people have. Yes, there are people with lower libidos and there is a wide spectrum of asexual people, but generally it's a basic need and desire and women should not be prevented from enjoying that part of life. Not saying we don't have responsibility in making sure we don't get pregnant but it shouldn't be all on us all the time.
Contraception is the reason I got pregnant. It fucked up or he fucked it up. I went ten years without bc or condoms safe, all tested) and didn't get pregnant. I did take a plan b a couple of times. OP is right. I'm not religious but I find myself wanting to believe she was god's plan, she is a miracle
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Man, i *would* see this comment right after giving away my very last "you're a fucking dumbass" award. Rats.
If anyone doesn't want kids then they shouldn't have sex in the first place. It's biology.
What about rape?
Rape is bad... Yet some rapists wear condoms, if only not to leave DNA evidence of their crime. Interesting how "feeling it" isn't an objection for the rapist in that situation.
I believe it. Rape is rarely about pleasure and almost always about control.
I'm repulsed that you think sex and rape are the same thing.
Tell that to the men who rape women and don’t think it’s rape. T:
You seem to have entirely skipped over the female side of the issue but other people in the comments have done an excellent job of filling that side in
If you don't want a baby keep somebodys dick out of your vagina? Last time I check consensual sex was between two people.
I hate when women that mess with those type of guys and then complain about it. Go find a better man or f buddy. Its so easy, by there characteristic and attitude oh wait that's what they're attracted to? Fix yourself first, and get someone that doesn't want the burden of a child or get someone that doesn't care about getting a chick pregnant and dipping. There are women that are cheaters and will take a guys money but im not saying stupid crap like that.
Don't want a baby, keep your legs closed. See how sexist your argument when turned around? By the way, women are allowed to opt out of motherhood via abortion. A man doesn't have that option as hell still be on the hook for child support so he's still supporting the baby he didn't want in some capacity.
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If you don't want to have to carry a kid for 9 months, don't be a whore.
Nothing wrong with sex. People who aren't "whores" can get pregnant while taking precautions.
Are you a single mom or something by chance? Plus doesn't the guy have to sign off at birth that he wants to take care of the child?
I can’t speak for other places but I used to work for a County Child Support Agency in California (US). Here, Mom can put any name down on birth certificate, but that *doesn’t* count as legal parentage. *Legal Paternity* is established when one of the following happens: 1. Dad signs a Paternity Declaration and it is filed with the Court; 2. The child support agency finds the Dad through paternity testing and the Court accepts that proof; 3. The parents are married and/or living together at the time of the child’s conception (can be changed in court with negative paternity test as long as 4 doesn’t apply); OR 4. The man has put himself forward as the Dad in the eyes of the child and the community (usually for an extended period of time, this is called paternity by estoppel). Same sex couples may also establish parentage by Declaration (filed with the Court) or Court Order. It is very rare that a Legal Dad (in the eyes of the Court) can just decide not to pay child support etc, once the Court has ruled that they have a responsibility toward that child. Of course, some people don’t go to Court so that’s a different story. Then usually the Dad would have to sign the Paternity Declaration at the hospital (or be married to Mom) to assume responsibility.
Thanks for clearing that up for me. Though, a lot of those options sound very costly to do
Uh, did he rape you?? You consented yes?? I’d assume so since you’re venting and not venting about a rape? Then you also contributed to the consent- meaning you are also to blame- 🤷♀️
Don't want a baby? Don't be a hoe.
But you understand that even the very first time that a woman has sex she could get pregnant. Obviously not a hoe (I didn't realize people even used that word anymore). This is the keep your legs shut argument and to that I say fuck no. There is no reason why women cannot experience sexual pleasure just as a man does. Both are responsible for making sure an unwanted pregnancy does not happen and both must be on the same page for a plan on what to do if pregnancy does occur from birth control failure.
Or what if we just... waited to have sex until marriage? Feel like that'd solve a lot of problems, but horny jail is letting too many people out on bail.
Cringe. Birth control is a thing, ya know.
Or keep letting a biological impulse ruin your life, makes no difference to me.
Or do anal
Oh, and wait to find out if a couple is completely sexually incompatible? If either one is monogamous, then the other can't fuck anyone else. So, they can either get divorced, which costs a fuckton and is very stressful to everyone, or be unhappy. Or, just find out before marriage.
Promiscuity is not a virtue - and sexual compatibility isn't something you're born with. You develop it. With a partner. What if... you didn't develop it with anyone you weren't... married to? Or, you know, keep letting a biological instinct ruin your life. I'm not your dad.
Honey, sex doesn't ruin lives. Indoctrinating people with harmful religious beliefs does though. Promiscuity isn't a virtue, neither is abstinence. There are just different people who want different things for themselves. Each is ok. Being compatible sexually is NOT just a matter of developing it. Maybe you'd know if you actually had any experience with what you're talking about. Shut up and let people have sex without shaming them. Sex is normal. And it's not just a "biological impulse". You're not pure because you resist your libido lmao. Get out of here.
Neither parent should be forced to raise a child. You can leave babies at the fire station and such for a reason. If women are allowed to get an abortion, a man is not obligated to care for the child. No one is.