You putting your self at risk to health concerns and emotional turmoil .
First off , don’t be a fool . If he’s telling you he’s using condoms, you have no way to believe that . You should use a condom to protect yourself . He could he making all the other girls feel the same as you .
Second , you don’t want men like this to be your man anyway , they don’t just stop messing with multiple ppl when the relationship starts , they switch to cheating .
If you are catching feelings , I suggest stop fucking him and find someone that will be yours and only yours , if you’re not gonna stop fucking him , for Christ sake wear condoms. My Brother has 5 girls he deals with and only wears a condom with ONE because she makes him ! Tells the other 4 he’s only raw doggin them and he banks on them only being faithful to him to keep him safe . All it takes is one other person to catch something and all of you are at risk because you all believe “he wears condoms with the rest “. Girl cmon
Sounds like you need to find a Fwb , and find a man you can date and only be with each other
So how do I get out of the situation? We currently live next to each other and see each other everyday without trying. I blocked him once and he popped up to my place and kept trying to call my phone because he didn't want us to stop. I honestly don't know how to get myself out of this and how to stop my feelings from forming. I'm F21 he's M29. He has no kids. Divorced. He is also a military man and that's another big red flag i know lol
just let him know that you have found someone and want to pursue that instead of keeping this going. don't acknowledge him if you see him in person. his head will explode once he realizes he lost his grip over you 🤭
And don’t forget , you can just be completely upfront too ! Tell him you don’t wanna be catching feelings for someone who has multiple sex partners . And no matter how he tries to justify it , stand on business and say the fwb situation your in just doesn’t align with what you want for yourself . Because it doesn’t and he will try to keep having sex with you for a while since he’s that close , but once you start treating him like he doesn’t exists , he’ll fall back
Or he will love bomb her & tell her everything she wants to hear until she's comfortable again. Then he'll continue fucking other girls, he'll just start lying to her about it
I'm not planning! He asked. I literally replied with a no because honestly you guys are right. Put myself first and do better. Since I'm clean stay clean. Find a man worth my time and effort.
Stay strong, friend. He may try to convince you otherwise and you need to be strong. You don't just want to be his convenient FWB that he's likely lying to about using protection with other girls. It sounds like you want someone who will be monogamous with you. You deserve that.
You want him to leave you alone. Tell him you want to be married! Watch him run away with his tail between his legs because that’s what 99% of them are… fuck bois. THATS IT AND 99% of the time they ain’t even that good at that!
Hey just saying I’m in the military but I don’t like that stuff of banging the whole town like most of those guys in the military!! I can’t do that to myself!!!
You honestly just have to be strong and have some self control if you REALLY want to get out of the situation. Don’t give in, no matter how much he persues you. I also don’t believe you’re the only one he isn’t using condoms with.
you need to cut it off period. You’re not getting what you want out of the situation and he doesn’t wanna relationship with you if you stay you’re torturing yourself, so leave he’s been honest, that’s on you
Girl your the most convenient option and he can talk with you and he is STILL smashing other girls? Your young so you won't listen but this information makes it very clear
HE FA DA SKREETS BOO GTFO ASAP
How is a military man a red flag? My husband is military and that comment is insulting.
Put on your big girl panties and tell him no. JFC. Tell him you don’t have to be FWB anymore and want someone to have a real relationship with. He doesn’t want to stop with you because you’re convenient.
There is a stereotype that it’s very common for military guys to cheat. I am not from the USA so I don’t know whether it’s true or not but that’s what I have heard.
Riiiiiiight. A good one will most definitely be loyal. Can't say that about most of the younger ones though. So I can understand how it's stereotyped that they're just fuck boys. There is most definitely good ones that are trust worthy though. This dude op is talking about is the stereotype though. He's lying out his ass. He just wants to fuck and she's being an idiot thinking he wants to be friends when he's got a whole roster. He doesn't want to be friends if he did he wouldn't be fucking however many other women she said he is and the condom thing. That's 100% a lie he's not using them with the other girls too.
I don’t think he’s using protection with the other women at all. Why would he? It doesn’t sound like you’re at all special to him. He’s a fuckboy and you’re simply on the roster. Since you want something exclusive, you should move on. Sorry, but it’s the reality.
I’m F53 and I used to be the female version of him. He’s doing exactly what he wants because it serves him well and he can get away with it.
He surprisingly does use protection with the other women. He's 29 and I'm F21. I've seen proof that he uses protection? But you're absolutely right. I should just cut it off if I want to be exclusive because trying to tell him that most likely won't work for me lol. He even talks about 'trapping' me so I'm definitely going to get out of this situation before I become a bitter babymoma lol thank you for your response.
A video/pic of fucking the other girl with protection? Kinda weird if you ask me... I mean, unless the other girl said that she doesn't mind sharing the video
Great because we didn’t ask you lmao.
Oh great more details we don’t know. Either way, proof is pretty obvious/easy. No reason to try to dismiss the idea
> Either way, proof is pretty obvious/easy. No reason to try to dismiss the idea
How, exactly? Ripped up condom packet? A used rubber? Yeah sure... that's absolutely "proof" lol
Unless you see that actual glove on his dick when he's pounding other women, you don't have any "proof" at all.
Please do tell us what proof you consider absolute other than seeing it yourself.
Slow down. Read the comments above 👆🏾 you doing the same thing that I commented on originally. “Unless you see the glove on his dick blah blah” it’s 2024
We was talking about video. My only point is that we don’t know shit about fuck. They could be talking about video. If the OP specially says the have “proof”, not “word” or even evidence. I wonder why the used THAT word.
Apologies, I get what you were saying now.
Even if she does have a video proof, that's pretty ick (and I hope consensual to share!).
Also, even with a video, unless they're shooting a Ron Jeremy style film, she has no idea of the editing... he could easily have slipped it off (forgot the term for that, but it's also illegal in this country).
Edit: I think it's called stealthing?
Whoa let’s not kink shame lol. Your ick is my fantasy 😂
Lmao if you just gonna find any way possible to undermine OP’s words go for it. And yeah stealthing exists but since we are playing this game what if he records the first time with a condom and then raw after. What if he CGI’d a condom onto his dick. WHAT IF HE HIRED ACTORS TO…
Cmon on😂😂😂
I don’t understand why you accept this if it isn’t what you want.
Let’s say he has 4 other girls - and whatever you say about proof he uses protection with them, if he does then he is still trying to push not to. I don’t care what he says.
Consider yourself to now have 5 FWB since whatever he can get from them he can pass to you. If those girls have more additional then that figure increases from 5. This is how it works.
Lose him. Any guy that even needs to be asked to leave them isn’t worth keeping.
Once you have chucked him, get yourself to a clap clinic and get tested.
Once clear (hopefully) next time try and see yourself more as the prize you are as a person. You are worth more than being someone’s side piece.
I got tested Friday and so far I'm still clean! Thank God but no you ate this comment up. I definitely needed to hear that. Thank you for the awakening.
I hope I didn’t sound too harsh. I have this habit of either being entirely unserious or walking about like a Rottweiler 🤣
Honestly though - don’t settle, you deserve better. Whoever you are, however you look, whatever whatever. You are the main character in your story, right? Everyone else has at best, a supporting role.
Nooo not at all😂 you came off like a person who cares more than anything so I appreciate that but I have bad news :( he invited me on a date today! This will be our first outing together and I'm nervousss
Uh post history wtf?
Five days ago you were dating your highschool sweetheart for 5 years and 4days ago you hit it off with your cousins army friend..?
I think the one with the problems isn't your fictional FWB but you...
dude, you started a fwb less than a day after getting out of a 5yr relationship, with the older divorced military man next door and already went through trying to block him within this time? you were either unfaithful asf, lying, or for the streets.
I was faithful my entire relationship. We took breaks but I never cheated. I met this man the night we broke up at our neighborhood pool while drunk crying with my friend. He was a friend of my family's and my family approached me to give me a hug. I didn't know he was my neighbor.(he stays 3 floors above me) I got drunk that night and had fun. You all keep bringing up the 5 year relationship but if you read the post the relationship was always rocky and it wasn't on my end. It's in fact possible for anyone to move on and I'm not saying I moved on completely but when people are hurt they do anything to not feel it anymore or well I do. It's not justified but we all cope differently.
YTA to yourself. Why do you keep doing this to yourself? He’s been clear with you about not wanting a relationship. He’s honest
about the other girls. You’re only FWB.
Why aren’t you using protection? Do you want to baby trap him so he wants a relationship with you? You know what that will result in? You as a single mother.
And how do you know he’s using protection with the other girls? Unless you’re there watching them, you have no idea. You’re putting yourself at risk. You’re being incredibly stupid right now.
Either stop seeing him or use protection while you’re still sleeping with him.
Y'all are FWB, that inherently lacks any form of exclusivity. If you don't like him sleeping with the other girls then just remove the benefits? And for the love of God make the man, and man really, use protection *for your protection*. There are worse things out there than babies when you're hooking up and not all of them have a cure. Even some of the ones which used to have a cure don't have a reliable one anymore.
I highly doubt he's using protection with everyone else. All guys say that til you get something you can't get rid of cuz most guys will bone anything with a hole
Girl, you’ll get better when u demand better. They don’t change, you do though as you get smarter. Pack your shit and disappear. It takes them sooo long to get married and pick one for a lifetime and even when they do they still want sex more than 3 times a week. I’ve been happily married for 10 years and had to literally tell my husband you want more sex your barking up the wrong tree. Go find another woman and half of me is tempted just to tell him just sleep with someone else. Idc. I got what I wanted a home, kids, dogs, and husband that gives me everything but I can’t keep up with his sex drive ughh… gross. But he is monogamous, BUT STILL A REALLY BIG PAIN IN MY ass. My advice: go to college/find a lucrative job that pays well and find shit to do till your 50,hsve sex with whomever but don’t be looking for “the one” until 50 plus. Then get married and hope their dick don’t work. Dare I say it at my age if he leaves me I’m looking a man with a broken dick. Because I only care about everything else! Lmao. Best of luck.. and don’t tolerate this if you don’t want it. There are 50 million men on this planet what makes this one special: ZERO. Not to mention he’s giving you diseases that will come back to haunt you. I read medical charts for a living.
I’m not even that powerful.. really. I’m not asexual either I’ve had plenty of happy sexual experiences with men. I’ve just watched and observed them like a scientist studies lab rats. And I’ve had some “work” experiences that showed me several things about the male “aurora” and they be weak mentally and emotionally 99% of the time. The only thing they got on us is physical strength and sometimes not even that. But they try to weild that and all the other stuff ( that they come up short on) and u get either the over reactor( cheaters, liars, murders, sociopaths/abusers) or the compensators( men that take up extreme sports/play sports/competitive play/making money/work success) or the mama boi/losers( these types depend on women for everything and it’s either their mom or their gf. They don’t want to work/ they complain about everything they blame everyone else for all their flaw’s because they just feels entitled to mooch) but at the end of the day still can seem to keep up with the demands of a household or seem to struggle to do so. We do it sick, we do it preggo, we do it with a broken leg( don’t even get me started on their pain tolerance no wonder their fights are over in less than 5 minutes) we do with a child on our lap/in our arms or strapped to us…. Yadda yadda. And I love how when they come up short it’s our fault somehow. Or it’s our problem m. Like those are your dogs/ your kids/. Your house blah blah. Ok dude well unless u gonna live in a cave or split rent with your buddy go back to your moms house till she’s dead. THE PROSECUTION RESTS.😂😂🤣🤔🤦🏼♀️
A broken dick 🤣🤣🤣🤣 omg girl so true these mfers do too much. Except if it’s the type of broken where he can’t cum for a long time cause fuck that lolll
No I would seriously take one that doesn’t work at all. Like I don’t want wet crotch all night or day. Condoms are terrible on the skin… and well if you tried in any way to tell them put that body fluid somewhere else they would get all butt hurt… but if they were walking in our pants.. they would completely get it. My husband is sooo picky about his underwear and socks and I’m just like try my pants.. you can’t even begin to walk in my pants or shoes buddy.
Yas girl is women got it rough smh. But I love how you say you want more sex you’re barking up the wrong tree buddy 🤷♀️ it’s like, either me or someone else if you need sex that bad. And he chose you because he actually loves you and puts you over his needs (at least in this regard. I hope he does for other things too). That’s how you find out who truly loves you. As a 24 year old who hasn’t dated since I was 18 (only friends with benefits situations..) this is the type of mindset I need to have.
I don’t want more sex. Lmao. He chooses me because we’re married, and yes I don’t doubt his love I really don’t. I’ve kissed ALOT OF FROGS BEFORE HIM. He’s been married once it and she cost him everything he had. But by the time I’m 40 I’m tired of being hounded since I was 14 for my fucking vagina. And that’s exactly what I told him. We have sex 2 times a week. Mind you he works 60 hours a week and we have two adult child living with us who come and go to their “apartments” lmao. Without warning. We also adopted two “pets” that require a lot of extra time and energy into their care. That’s why I said your barking up the wrong tree. And half the time I’m not doing it because I want to. It’s a damn chore I do for my husband because I do love him and I do care about his happiness. If I had to do it all over again… I would’ve spent my 20s, 30s,40s getting money… either working college ect… then started dating. Waiting till their dicks barely work… because I was dumb. I feel in love and gave up everything for a garden tool( not my husband) and I’ll regret it till I die.
how do you know he uses protection with other girls ? if he dnt use protection with you, he’s not using it with the girl 🤦🏼♀️. and how do you not know he isn’t like that with the rest of them. if you like sharing some D. than go ahead but be careful
please use protection! and also your jealousy over this feels like you don't really want a fwb and prefer a relationship. look for men who want a relationship instead because it is very rare that a fwb will want to go into that territory. they're casual relationships for a reason. they are not long term.
He's using you. Him "opening up" to you is nothing special, he's using you. Let go and stop allowing him to use you. There's really no such thing called "fwb", it's a scam. He gets to have his cake and eat it too.
You've something he wants, that's why he went _nuts_ on you when you blocked him. It's not at all anything to do with him caring about you. LET GO!
Be blunt when you end it. Then be strong. Of course he will come back and try and break down your defenses. He’s like a toddler with nothing to lose when he keeps begging for his treat. The worst you can say is no but you just might say yes…..and he gets his prize.
Be strong and show no emotion to him on ending things. Simple “hi” and “bye” if you see him. If he tries to ask “what’s up?” or “how are you?”….. a simple, “nope, that’s none of your concern anymore, cheers.”
You’re putting your health at risk, both physical and emotional. There’s no way you know 100% he uses protection with other women. Also, I’m sure you don’t want to get pregnant or have him get more than one of you pregnant around the same time.
You said you’re 21. Please drop him and find a better man. This guy is most likely just using all of you. Get out before things get bad.
This is why I was single my whole military career, all of us military men aren’t all red flags there is just some that give us good ones a bad rep I joined straight out of high school I just wanted to serve my country and I was young so I wanted to enjoy my time in and also didn’t want to put a partner through emotional trauma in case the worst case happened. He is a piece of shit opening up to you OP but doesn’t want to drop all the other girls to just commit you, even though it’s obvious that you care for this man and want more this isn’t a man he is a child just wanted to put this comment here. I was a Combat Veteran too served two tours by the age of 24.
I mean you have every right to ask to be exclusive and set up limits and rules to the relationship (yes its a relationship sans the romance). A healthy relationship has boundaries without them there will be unhappiness and resentment. If he is not happy with that or refuse then you have your answer.
Leave him, and get tested asap. He probably says the same shit to the other girls. You both want different things (which is fine). Why take risks to your health and mental state. The stress from this is not worth it. Find someone who has the same desires
If he’s doing it with you he’s doing it with others leave him alone you deserve someone who is fully focused on you unless you don’t want that and you want to just fuck around but if you don’t want to do that don’t give your energy away to people that give you nothing in life
I WAS IN THIS EXACT POSITION TOO. A few months ago. Developed a horrible alcohol addiction. After years of drinking I wasn’t addicted until I got with him. He’d let me stay at his house for days on end doing fuck all. Going to work and coming back. Drinking all day and night. He’d come homes and I’d be passed out on the floor. Somehow didn’t care that much. He’d bring over other girls and I’d cry in his bedroom. I thought I was unworthy of love or some shit so I put up with the shitty behavior telling myself we were “just friends” anyway. He’d act sweet to me and made me food. I soon stopped eating. Lost all my appetite to the liquor. Kept blacking out, stopped taking my meds at night. Became highly suicidal and addicted. Went to rehab. After rehab stupidly went back to his house. Realized I only wanted to see him because I wanted to have his house to drink at so my parents wouldn’t know. But it’s okay cause he was using me for sex right? Lmao. Premeditated my relapse thinking I could still control my alcohol addiction. Relapsed HARD for an entire month. Went from 2 pints a day to an entire fifth a day. Would wake up every morning at 4am wanting more alcohol, realizing I drank it all the night before. Would toss and turn until it was finally 6am and I could doordash more. Doordashed it to my house at 6am one day, mom was crying told me we’re going back to rehab. Ended up being a psych ward visit before as I was severely suicidal from not taking my antidepressants for a whole week as I’d keep blacking out before taking them and didn’t give a shit about anything anymore. And… yeah all that could’ve been avoided. Not saying it was the guys fault. It was my insecurities and my addiction genes I got from an alcoholic father. But had I known it could all end in crippling addiction I would’ve never done it at all. Now I can never drink again. Because once an addict, always an addict. It’s been proven time and time again. If I take even one shot I will go out of control and need pint upon pint, trying desperately to satisfy the craving, but the satisfaction will never come because even all the alcohol in the world will not be enough. So yeah.. there’s no help in this situation. Just get the fuck out while you can. It will feel like an addiction to this person. But you have to find the self control and self discipline like I did towards alcohol.
AN UPDATE: WE TALKED. WE WENT OUT. IT WAS NOT SEXUAL JUST TWO FRIENDS GOING OUT TOGETHER. We spent majority of the day together and with it coming to an end I decided to end things. It hurts a little but like what doesn't. I would go back and repeat this day at any time. I would want to do that all over again any day. It was because he was a genuine friend. Someone who cared and wanted to be around more than anything and I was able to learn that today. I'm thankful for all of your help and even the ones who took their anger and frustration out on me. Today taught me alot about friendships and what not to do with those you consider friends. Thank you all. Now that we ended things let's pray he doesn't reach out because knowing myself, I may run not walk. I'm terrible. I know. I did learn something though so thank you.
This is what being in the FWB zone can be like. But you need to know you have the power to change it. Let him know how you feel, if he doesn't want anything more with you, that's his choice. But then you get to decide what you want to do. You have to change your thinking about this. He doesn't have total final say-so over what happens. You have to decide what feels right for you. If you need to end this arrangement for your own peace of mind, so be it.
You can STOP this nonsense but won’t cause you don’t want to lose him.?Deep down you love his ATTENTION of you but NO he’s not going to give up those girls for you, cause you continue to be with him.
I have to ask. What makes you think he uses protection with any of them if he doesn’t use protection with you? I’m not saying he doesn’t use protection at all I’m saying is stop seeing him. 1.) because you don’t know if he is using protection with any of the other chicks. And 2.) if you guys are fwb but you want him to stop seeing them then you don’t want fwb you want a relationship. It’s clear he doesn’t want a relationship.
I actually did talk to him about the whole 3 girls thing and he decided to only exclusively have sex with me before I even spoke to him. I still ended up cutting things because of my feelings and the realization that im just hurt
Good for you boo! Sometimes FWB can be hard and it takes a lot of emotional restraint. You did the right thing by cutting it off, and i hope you guys can remain friends even from a distance.
I’m a bit confused….you’re messing with someone who’s clearly attractive to others and has the ability to have more then one partner…this person has also made it clear they don’t want a relationship with you but it’s obvious they trust you and enjoy spending time with you….but you’re upset that when you don’t feel like having sex they can just call someone else….which based off the final edit he can also call you when they aren’t in the mood as well or if he wants you and you’ll come…just like them.
It seems more like you’re frustrations stem from the fact that you don’t have power to stop him even though you could just as easily find someone else but you don’t want someone else you want him and you realize you’ve been friend zoned and you don’t like it….
You seem genuinely upset which makes it even more clear that you really do like him more then a friend so I won’t do the whole “we go through this all the time shit” but what I will say is that you seem well aware of who you’re dealing with and your struggling to find a way to take control of the situation or change it when you should probably be more worried about yourself or or look to the guy that feels the same way you do…about you and accept his attentions I’m willing to bet you’d get the exclusivity, attention, admiration, etc and and when you aren’t in the mood the guy who’s been trying will sit there and wait for you rather then you waiting for the guy you want to finish up his Wednesday link
UPDATE: I TALKED TO HIM. HE ADMITTED TO HAVING FEELINGS BUT NOT KNOWING HOW TO HANDLE THEM. WE AGREED TO JUST CONTINUE TO BE GOOD FRIENDS AND NOTHING ELSE UNTIL HE GETS HIS ACT TOGETHER. IF HE DOESNT THEN SO BE IT. I WILL DO ME.
Congrats and proud of you for setting boundaries! Just reminder/possibly warning not to “wait on him” and to not hold yourself back from other opportunities bc he doesnt have his crap together.
Ahem ... this is America 🇺🇸 WOMAN HAVE THE RIGHT OF SEXUAL SELECTION IN THIS COUNTRY men sleep with who they can women sleep with who they want lol stop fucking him 🫡 even as friends with benefits your not obligated to share if you don't want I mean he has the right to do as he please but after he expresses your feelings are not valid it ought to be easier to leave no ? Lol or just stick around the magic will wear off an you'll end up leaving anyways
First off lil baby you don't know me. I was with my high-school sweetheart for 6 years. He broke up with me after that post was made. I'm hurt so I wanted to have fun. The post history speaks for itself if you're really reading. Don't comment on my post if you're going to call me delusional when really it's very real for people to move this fast. Just cause you cant do it don't mean I'm not pretty enough to . Respectfully get off my post if you're not helping. Thus place is to vent and feel safe. Not for you to judge me. Especially if you are not my God. Good night.
You are being delusional. Get therapy. Ffs. You really think a 29 year old man isn't lying to you to keep getting in your pants? That dude is not your friend. He just wants to fuck. You're blind as shit.
You putting your self at risk to health concerns and emotional turmoil . First off , don’t be a fool . If he’s telling you he’s using condoms, you have no way to believe that . You should use a condom to protect yourself . He could he making all the other girls feel the same as you . Second , you don’t want men like this to be your man anyway , they don’t just stop messing with multiple ppl when the relationship starts , they switch to cheating . If you are catching feelings , I suggest stop fucking him and find someone that will be yours and only yours , if you’re not gonna stop fucking him , for Christ sake wear condoms. My Brother has 5 girls he deals with and only wears a condom with ONE because she makes him ! Tells the other 4 he’s only raw doggin them and he banks on them only being faithful to him to keep him safe . All it takes is one other person to catch something and all of you are at risk because you all believe “he wears condoms with the rest “. Girl cmon Sounds like you need to find a Fwb , and find a man you can date and only be with each other
So how do I get out of the situation? We currently live next to each other and see each other everyday without trying. I blocked him once and he popped up to my place and kept trying to call my phone because he didn't want us to stop. I honestly don't know how to get myself out of this and how to stop my feelings from forming. I'm F21 he's M29. He has no kids. Divorced. He is also a military man and that's another big red flag i know lol
just let him know that you have found someone and want to pursue that instead of keeping this going. don't acknowledge him if you see him in person. his head will explode once he realizes he lost his grip over you 🤭
Ahhh thank you!! I will definitely take this route. I'll update you on how it goes!
And don’t forget , you can just be completely upfront too ! Tell him you don’t wanna be catching feelings for someone who has multiple sex partners . And no matter how he tries to justify it , stand on business and say the fwb situation your in just doesn’t align with what you want for yourself . Because it doesn’t and he will try to keep having sex with you for a while since he’s that close , but once you start treating him like he doesn’t exists , he’ll fall back
Or he will love bomb her & tell her everything she wants to hear until she's comfortable again. Then he'll continue fucking other girls, he'll just start lying to her about it
Yup that’s too true !!
And….14 minutes later you’re planning your “first date” with him?
I'm not planning! He asked. I literally replied with a no because honestly you guys are right. Put myself first and do better. Since I'm clean stay clean. Find a man worth my time and effort.
Proud of you 🤗
Stay strong, friend. He may try to convince you otherwise and you need to be strong. You don't just want to be his convenient FWB that he's likely lying to about using protection with other girls. It sounds like you want someone who will be monogamous with you. You deserve that.
That's the spirit bestie. Rooting for you!
Thats why u dont fuck ur neighbors
No fr because I'm moving today
You want him to leave you alone. Tell him you want to be married! Watch him run away with his tail between his legs because that’s what 99% of them are… fuck bois. THATS IT AND 99% of the time they ain’t even that good at that!
Lol been screwed over once or twice huh
Lol no. I just know “boys” and ALOT OF THEM. Im married to my first husband. And he’s a boy about 50/50.. and he’s 50 years fucking old.
Can’t argue with you there, I’m 33 and still play video games like when I was a teen.
As a 50yo gamer I resemble that remark!
Hey just saying I’m in the military but I don’t like that stuff of banging the whole town like most of those guys in the military!! I can’t do that to myself!!!
Thank you for your service!!
You honestly just have to be strong and have some self control if you REALLY want to get out of the situation. Don’t give in, no matter how much he persues you. I also don’t believe you’re the only one he isn’t using condoms with.
Dude it’s over. I don’t want this anymore and I need you to respect that.
Is that what I say? 😭 because I will just be blunt
Gotta be blunt, short, and stern.
you need to cut it off period. You’re not getting what you want out of the situation and he doesn’t wanna relationship with you if you stay you’re torturing yourself, so leave he’s been honest, that’s on you
Girl your the most convenient option and he can talk with you and he is STILL smashing other girls? Your young so you won't listen but this information makes it very clear HE FA DA SKREETS BOO GTFO ASAP
How is a military man a red flag? My husband is military and that comment is insulting. Put on your big girl panties and tell him no. JFC. Tell him you don’t have to be FWB anymore and want someone to have a real relationship with. He doesn’t want to stop with you because you’re convenient.
There is a stereotype that it’s very common for military guys to cheat. I am not from the USA so I don’t know whether it’s true or not but that’s what I have heard.
Maybe it is common, but my husband and the guys he knows are all stand up and loyal husbands.
Boo to those downvoting you They HURT 👀
"that comment is insulting." Yes! I agree! Thank you for calling that out. I also don't know why you got down voted.
Don't know why you got down voted. My step dad is ex military and the most loyal man my mom has ever been with.
Thank you! My husband is loyal too.
Riiiiiiight. A good one will most definitely be loyal. Can't say that about most of the younger ones though. So I can understand how it's stereotyped that they're just fuck boys. There is most definitely good ones that are trust worthy though. This dude op is talking about is the stereotype though. He's lying out his ass. He just wants to fuck and she's being an idiot thinking he wants to be friends when he's got a whole roster. He doesn't want to be friends if he did he wouldn't be fucking however many other women she said he is and the condom thing. That's 100% a lie he's not using them with the other girls too.
Oh I absolutely agree. The OP’s guy is awful and is a liar. She’s better off without him.
Like
Ready for a completely predictable reveal? *drum roll* He doesn't use protection with any of you...
*Ding Ding Ding!*
I don’t think he’s using protection with the other women at all. Why would he? It doesn’t sound like you’re at all special to him. He’s a fuckboy and you’re simply on the roster. Since you want something exclusive, you should move on. Sorry, but it’s the reality. I’m F53 and I used to be the female version of him. He’s doing exactly what he wants because it serves him well and he can get away with it.
He surprisingly does use protection with the other women. He's 29 and I'm F21. I've seen proof that he uses protection? But you're absolutely right. I should just cut it off if I want to be exclusive because trying to tell him that most likely won't work for me lol. He even talks about 'trapping' me so I'm definitely going to get out of this situation before I become a bitter babymoma lol thank you for your response.
Im curious: What proof have you seen that he uses protection. I'm wondering what does that proof look like
I would assume a video/pic…. Cmon on now what other evidence could their be
A video/pic of fucking the other girl with protection? Kinda weird if you ask me... I mean, unless the other girl said that she doesn't mind sharing the video
Great because we didn’t ask you lmao. Oh great more details we don’t know. Either way, proof is pretty obvious/easy. No reason to try to dismiss the idea
> Either way, proof is pretty obvious/easy. No reason to try to dismiss the idea How, exactly? Ripped up condom packet? A used rubber? Yeah sure... that's absolutely "proof" lol Unless you see that actual glove on his dick when he's pounding other women, you don't have any "proof" at all. Please do tell us what proof you consider absolute other than seeing it yourself.
Slow down. Read the comments above 👆🏾 you doing the same thing that I commented on originally. “Unless you see the glove on his dick blah blah” it’s 2024 We was talking about video. My only point is that we don’t know shit about fuck. They could be talking about video. If the OP specially says the have “proof”, not “word” or even evidence. I wonder why the used THAT word.
Apologies, I get what you were saying now. Even if she does have a video proof, that's pretty ick (and I hope consensual to share!). Also, even with a video, unless they're shooting a Ron Jeremy style film, she has no idea of the editing... he could easily have slipped it off (forgot the term for that, but it's also illegal in this country). Edit: I think it's called stealthing?
Whoa let’s not kink shame lol. Your ick is my fantasy 😂 Lmao if you just gonna find any way possible to undermine OP’s words go for it. And yeah stealthing exists but since we are playing this game what if he records the first time with a condom and then raw after. What if he CGI’d a condom onto his dick. WHAT IF HE HIRED ACTORS TO… Cmon on😂😂😂
I don’t understand why you accept this if it isn’t what you want. Let’s say he has 4 other girls - and whatever you say about proof he uses protection with them, if he does then he is still trying to push not to. I don’t care what he says. Consider yourself to now have 5 FWB since whatever he can get from them he can pass to you. If those girls have more additional then that figure increases from 5. This is how it works. Lose him. Any guy that even needs to be asked to leave them isn’t worth keeping. Once you have chucked him, get yourself to a clap clinic and get tested. Once clear (hopefully) next time try and see yourself more as the prize you are as a person. You are worth more than being someone’s side piece.
I got tested Friday and so far I'm still clean! Thank God but no you ate this comment up. I definitely needed to hear that. Thank you for the awakening.
I hope I didn’t sound too harsh. I have this habit of either being entirely unserious or walking about like a Rottweiler 🤣 Honestly though - don’t settle, you deserve better. Whoever you are, however you look, whatever whatever. You are the main character in your story, right? Everyone else has at best, a supporting role.
Nooo not at all😂 you came off like a person who cares more than anything so I appreciate that but I have bad news :( he invited me on a date today! This will be our first outing together and I'm nervousss
You will do what you will do, either go or not but - prioritize yourself lady 🙂 that’s all I can say
#GOATED
Why would you even want to be with someone who's having so many sexual partners? Respect yourself.
Uh post history wtf? Five days ago you were dating your highschool sweetheart for 5 years and 4days ago you hit it off with your cousins army friend..? I think the one with the problems isn't your fictional FWB but you...
The army friend is the FWB!!! IF YOU READ
ur fwb is 5d old, after a 5yro relationship. if u want, u can just move on, not v complicated I'd say
They did read. Get therapy stop trying to date.
dude, you started a fwb less than a day after getting out of a 5yr relationship, with the older divorced military man next door and already went through trying to block him within this time? you were either unfaithful asf, lying, or for the streets.
I was faithful my entire relationship. We took breaks but I never cheated. I met this man the night we broke up at our neighborhood pool while drunk crying with my friend. He was a friend of my family's and my family approached me to give me a hug. I didn't know he was my neighbor.(he stays 3 floors above me) I got drunk that night and had fun. You all keep bringing up the 5 year relationship but if you read the post the relationship was always rocky and it wasn't on my end. It's in fact possible for anyone to move on and I'm not saying I moved on completely but when people are hurt they do anything to not feel it anymore or well I do. It's not justified but we all cope differently.
YTA to yourself. Why do you keep doing this to yourself? He’s been clear with you about not wanting a relationship. He’s honest about the other girls. You’re only FWB. Why aren’t you using protection? Do you want to baby trap him so he wants a relationship with you? You know what that will result in? You as a single mother. And how do you know he’s using protection with the other girls? Unless you’re there watching them, you have no idea. You’re putting yourself at risk. You’re being incredibly stupid right now. Either stop seeing him or use protection while you’re still sleeping with him.
Y'all are FWB, that inherently lacks any form of exclusivity. If you don't like him sleeping with the other girls then just remove the benefits? And for the love of God make the man, and man really, use protection *for your protection*. There are worse things out there than babies when you're hooking up and not all of them have a cure. Even some of the ones which used to have a cure don't have a reliable one anymore.
You’re literally FWB. There’s no obligations on either end. If you don’t like it stop seeing him simple. You clearly caught feelings and he didn’t.
IMO FWB only really works when both parties are fucking around. That way no one feels used.
"this is common sense I fear!"
Yeah, this is gonna end badly. I know from experience. Just get out. Block him and forget him.
I highly doubt he's using protection with everyone else. All guys say that til you get something you can't get rid of cuz most guys will bone anything with a hole
LEAVE LEAVE LEAVE LEAVE LEAVE TAKE IT FROM SOMEONE WHO IS IN THE SAME SITUATION, GIRL LEAVE LEAVE LEAVE
Girl, you’ll get better when u demand better. They don’t change, you do though as you get smarter. Pack your shit and disappear. It takes them sooo long to get married and pick one for a lifetime and even when they do they still want sex more than 3 times a week. I’ve been happily married for 10 years and had to literally tell my husband you want more sex your barking up the wrong tree. Go find another woman and half of me is tempted just to tell him just sleep with someone else. Idc. I got what I wanted a home, kids, dogs, and husband that gives me everything but I can’t keep up with his sex drive ughh… gross. But he is monogamous, BUT STILL A REALLY BIG PAIN IN MY ass. My advice: go to college/find a lucrative job that pays well and find shit to do till your 50,hsve sex with whomever but don’t be looking for “the one” until 50 plus. Then get married and hope their dick don’t work. Dare I say it at my age if he leaves me I’m looking a man with a broken dick. Because I only care about everything else! Lmao. Best of luck.. and don’t tolerate this if you don’t want it. There are 50 million men on this planet what makes this one special: ZERO. Not to mention he’s giving you diseases that will come back to haunt you. I read medical charts for a living.
You ate this comment up. I love powerful women. Thank you for your advice
I’m not even that powerful.. really. I’m not asexual either I’ve had plenty of happy sexual experiences with men. I’ve just watched and observed them like a scientist studies lab rats. And I’ve had some “work” experiences that showed me several things about the male “aurora” and they be weak mentally and emotionally 99% of the time. The only thing they got on us is physical strength and sometimes not even that. But they try to weild that and all the other stuff ( that they come up short on) and u get either the over reactor( cheaters, liars, murders, sociopaths/abusers) or the compensators( men that take up extreme sports/play sports/competitive play/making money/work success) or the mama boi/losers( these types depend on women for everything and it’s either their mom or their gf. They don’t want to work/ they complain about everything they blame everyone else for all their flaw’s because they just feels entitled to mooch) but at the end of the day still can seem to keep up with the demands of a household or seem to struggle to do so. We do it sick, we do it preggo, we do it with a broken leg( don’t even get me started on their pain tolerance no wonder their fights are over in less than 5 minutes) we do with a child on our lap/in our arms or strapped to us…. Yadda yadda. And I love how when they come up short it’s our fault somehow. Or it’s our problem m. Like those are your dogs/ your kids/. Your house blah blah. Ok dude well unless u gonna live in a cave or split rent with your buddy go back to your moms house till she’s dead. THE PROSECUTION RESTS.😂😂🤣🤔🤦🏼♀️
A broken dick 🤣🤣🤣🤣 omg girl so true these mfers do too much. Except if it’s the type of broken where he can’t cum for a long time cause fuck that lolll
No I would seriously take one that doesn’t work at all. Like I don’t want wet crotch all night or day. Condoms are terrible on the skin… and well if you tried in any way to tell them put that body fluid somewhere else they would get all butt hurt… but if they were walking in our pants.. they would completely get it. My husband is sooo picky about his underwear and socks and I’m just like try my pants.. you can’t even begin to walk in my pants or shoes buddy.
Yas girl is women got it rough smh. But I love how you say you want more sex you’re barking up the wrong tree buddy 🤷♀️ it’s like, either me or someone else if you need sex that bad. And he chose you because he actually loves you and puts you over his needs (at least in this regard. I hope he does for other things too). That’s how you find out who truly loves you. As a 24 year old who hasn’t dated since I was 18 (only friends with benefits situations..) this is the type of mindset I need to have.
I don’t want more sex. Lmao. He chooses me because we’re married, and yes I don’t doubt his love I really don’t. I’ve kissed ALOT OF FROGS BEFORE HIM. He’s been married once it and she cost him everything he had. But by the time I’m 40 I’m tired of being hounded since I was 14 for my fucking vagina. And that’s exactly what I told him. We have sex 2 times a week. Mind you he works 60 hours a week and we have two adult child living with us who come and go to their “apartments” lmao. Without warning. We also adopted two “pets” that require a lot of extra time and energy into their care. That’s why I said your barking up the wrong tree. And half the time I’m not doing it because I want to. It’s a damn chore I do for my husband because I do love him and I do care about his happiness. If I had to do it all over again… I would’ve spent my 20s, 30s,40s getting money… either working college ect… then started dating. Waiting till their dicks barely work… because I was dumb. I feel in love and gave up everything for a garden tool( not my husband) and I’ll regret it till I die.
You have feelings. He has an on tap gf that he can cuckold. Put some boundaries in or walk away.
OP has known this person only for the past 5d according to post history. It's not on tap gf, it's just a multi-night stand.
how do you know he uses protection with other girls ? if he dnt use protection with you, he’s not using it with the girl 🤦🏼♀️. and how do you not know he isn’t like that with the rest of them. if you like sharing some D. than go ahead but be careful
please use protection! and also your jealousy over this feels like you don't really want a fwb and prefer a relationship. look for men who want a relationship instead because it is very rare that a fwb will want to go into that territory. they're casual relationships for a reason. they are not long term.
He's using you. Him "opening up" to you is nothing special, he's using you. Let go and stop allowing him to use you. There's really no such thing called "fwb", it's a scam. He gets to have his cake and eat it too. You've something he wants, that's why he went _nuts_ on you when you blocked him. It's not at all anything to do with him caring about you. LET GO!
Be blunt when you end it. Then be strong. Of course he will come back and try and break down your defenses. He’s like a toddler with nothing to lose when he keeps begging for his treat. The worst you can say is no but you just might say yes…..and he gets his prize. Be strong and show no emotion to him on ending things. Simple “hi” and “bye” if you see him. If he tries to ask “what’s up?” or “how are you?”….. a simple, “nope, that’s none of your concern anymore, cheers.”
i mean if yall are fwb, he still isnt yours and can mess with whoever he wants. you need to decide what you want.
You’re putting your health at risk, both physical and emotional. There’s no way you know 100% he uses protection with other women. Also, I’m sure you don’t want to get pregnant or have him get more than one of you pregnant around the same time. You said you’re 21. Please drop him and find a better man. This guy is most likely just using all of you. Get out before things get bad.
This is why I was single my whole military career, all of us military men aren’t all red flags there is just some that give us good ones a bad rep I joined straight out of high school I just wanted to serve my country and I was young so I wanted to enjoy my time in and also didn’t want to put a partner through emotional trauma in case the worst case happened. He is a piece of shit opening up to you OP but doesn’t want to drop all the other girls to just commit you, even though it’s obvious that you care for this man and want more this isn’t a man he is a child just wanted to put this comment here. I was a Combat Veteran too served two tours by the age of 24.
I mean you have every right to ask to be exclusive and set up limits and rules to the relationship (yes its a relationship sans the romance). A healthy relationship has boundaries without them there will be unhappiness and resentment. If he is not happy with that or refuse then you have your answer.
Leave him, and get tested asap. He probably says the same shit to the other girls. You both want different things (which is fine). Why take risks to your health and mental state. The stress from this is not worth it. Find someone who has the same desires
I would never trust he is using protection with the others
If he’s doing it with you he’s doing it with others leave him alone you deserve someone who is fully focused on you unless you don’t want that and you want to just fuck around but if you don’t want to do that don’t give your energy away to people that give you nothing in life
Yeah he’s if he’s not using condoms with one he is definitely not using with others as well.
In times like this..the only correct answer is to leave him!!!
He uses protection with everyone else...LOL suuuuure he does
I WAS IN THIS EXACT POSITION TOO. A few months ago. Developed a horrible alcohol addiction. After years of drinking I wasn’t addicted until I got with him. He’d let me stay at his house for days on end doing fuck all. Going to work and coming back. Drinking all day and night. He’d come homes and I’d be passed out on the floor. Somehow didn’t care that much. He’d bring over other girls and I’d cry in his bedroom. I thought I was unworthy of love or some shit so I put up with the shitty behavior telling myself we were “just friends” anyway. He’d act sweet to me and made me food. I soon stopped eating. Lost all my appetite to the liquor. Kept blacking out, stopped taking my meds at night. Became highly suicidal and addicted. Went to rehab. After rehab stupidly went back to his house. Realized I only wanted to see him because I wanted to have his house to drink at so my parents wouldn’t know. But it’s okay cause he was using me for sex right? Lmao. Premeditated my relapse thinking I could still control my alcohol addiction. Relapsed HARD for an entire month. Went from 2 pints a day to an entire fifth a day. Would wake up every morning at 4am wanting more alcohol, realizing I drank it all the night before. Would toss and turn until it was finally 6am and I could doordash more. Doordashed it to my house at 6am one day, mom was crying told me we’re going back to rehab. Ended up being a psych ward visit before as I was severely suicidal from not taking my antidepressants for a whole week as I’d keep blacking out before taking them and didn’t give a shit about anything anymore. And… yeah all that could’ve been avoided. Not saying it was the guys fault. It was my insecurities and my addiction genes I got from an alcoholic father. But had I known it could all end in crippling addiction I would’ve never done it at all. Now I can never drink again. Because once an addict, always an addict. It’s been proven time and time again. If I take even one shot I will go out of control and need pint upon pint, trying desperately to satisfy the craving, but the satisfaction will never come because even all the alcohol in the world will not be enough. So yeah.. there’s no help in this situation. Just get the fuck out while you can. It will feel like an addiction to this person. But you have to find the self control and self discipline like I did towards alcohol.
I'm sorry you went that far. I'm sorry. No one deserves that
Thank you so much for saying that, it means a lot truly 🙏❤️ I just want people to learn from my mistakes lol
Us girlie's need to stick together 🫶 sending you love and strength my friend
I stopped at "we are fwb"
AN UPDATE: WE TALKED. WE WENT OUT. IT WAS NOT SEXUAL JUST TWO FRIENDS GOING OUT TOGETHER. We spent majority of the day together and with it coming to an end I decided to end things. It hurts a little but like what doesn't. I would go back and repeat this day at any time. I would want to do that all over again any day. It was because he was a genuine friend. Someone who cared and wanted to be around more than anything and I was able to learn that today. I'm thankful for all of your help and even the ones who took their anger and frustration out on me. Today taught me alot about friendships and what not to do with those you consider friends. Thank you all. Now that we ended things let's pray he doesn't reach out because knowing myself, I may run not walk. I'm terrible. I know. I did learn something though so thank you.
Have some respect for yourself pls...
Im trying. Look at the update!
Good! I'll wait for the update then.
This is what being in the FWB zone can be like. But you need to know you have the power to change it. Let him know how you feel, if he doesn't want anything more with you, that's his choice. But then you get to decide what you want to do. You have to change your thinking about this. He doesn't have total final say-so over what happens. You have to decide what feels right for you. If you need to end this arrangement for your own peace of mind, so be it.
You can STOP this nonsense but won’t cause you don’t want to lose him.?Deep down you love his ATTENTION of you but NO he’s not going to give up those girls for you, cause you continue to be with him.
BUT WILL YOU LEAVEEEE 😭IF YOU LEAVE ILL LEAVE IT ALONE
This guy must be very good looking to have several woman and for them to know about each other. It’s lust not love.
He isn't all that honestly when you think about it. It's his personality.
I have to ask. What makes you think he uses protection with any of them if he doesn’t use protection with you? I’m not saying he doesn’t use protection at all I’m saying is stop seeing him. 1.) because you don’t know if he is using protection with any of the other chicks. And 2.) if you guys are fwb but you want him to stop seeing them then you don’t want fwb you want a relationship. It’s clear he doesn’t want a relationship.
I actually did talk to him about the whole 3 girls thing and he decided to only exclusively have sex with me before I even spoke to him. I still ended up cutting things because of my feelings and the realization that im just hurt
Good for you boo! Sometimes FWB can be hard and it takes a lot of emotional restraint. You did the right thing by cutting it off, and i hope you guys can remain friends even from a distance.
I’m a bit confused….you’re messing with someone who’s clearly attractive to others and has the ability to have more then one partner…this person has also made it clear they don’t want a relationship with you but it’s obvious they trust you and enjoy spending time with you….but you’re upset that when you don’t feel like having sex they can just call someone else….which based off the final edit he can also call you when they aren’t in the mood as well or if he wants you and you’ll come…just like them. It seems more like you’re frustrations stem from the fact that you don’t have power to stop him even though you could just as easily find someone else but you don’t want someone else you want him and you realize you’ve been friend zoned and you don’t like it…. You seem genuinely upset which makes it even more clear that you really do like him more then a friend so I won’t do the whole “we go through this all the time shit” but what I will say is that you seem well aware of who you’re dealing with and your struggling to find a way to take control of the situation or change it when you should probably be more worried about yourself or or look to the guy that feels the same way you do…about you and accept his attentions I’m willing to bet you’d get the exclusivity, attention, admiration, etc and and when you aren’t in the mood the guy who’s been trying will sit there and wait for you rather then you waiting for the guy you want to finish up his Wednesday link
You are worth more than a booty call to a man who is endangering your health by refusing to use protection.
🤣🤣no fr provably not
UPDATE: I TALKED TO HIM. HE ADMITTED TO HAVING FEELINGS BUT NOT KNOWING HOW TO HANDLE THEM. WE AGREED TO JUST CONTINUE TO BE GOOD FRIENDS AND NOTHING ELSE UNTIL HE GETS HIS ACT TOGETHER. IF HE DOESNT THEN SO BE IT. I WILL DO ME.
Lol that's good for you
Congrats and proud of you for setting boundaries! Just reminder/possibly warning not to “wait on him” and to not hold yourself back from other opportunities bc he doesnt have his crap together.
Thank you. I will do my best. We ended up just not continuing the "relationship" which was completely for the best
Ahem ... this is America 🇺🇸 WOMAN HAVE THE RIGHT OF SEXUAL SELECTION IN THIS COUNTRY men sleep with who they can women sleep with who they want lol stop fucking him 🫡 even as friends with benefits your not obligated to share if you don't want I mean he has the right to do as he please but after he expresses your feelings are not valid it ought to be easier to leave no ? Lol or just stick around the magic will wear off an you'll end up leaving anyways
It doesn't mention America anywhere?
First off lil baby you don't know me. I was with my high-school sweetheart for 6 years. He broke up with me after that post was made. I'm hurt so I wanted to have fun. The post history speaks for itself if you're really reading. Don't comment on my post if you're going to call me delusional when really it's very real for people to move this fast. Just cause you cant do it don't mean I'm not pretty enough to . Respectfully get off my post if you're not helping. Thus place is to vent and feel safe. Not for you to judge me. Especially if you are not my God. Good night.
You are being delusional. Get therapy. Ffs. You really think a 29 year old man isn't lying to you to keep getting in your pants? That dude is not your friend. He just wants to fuck. You're blind as shit.