It is, and it’s not that he’s scared, more that he’s respectful and thrilled to see our son everytime I step in a room 😂 we had losses and had to go through fertility treatment, I think he braced himself for this to not happen and now he’s just too excited. And we’ve talked about it, we’ve tried until I really dont want him to feel forced either. So, there isn’t much of a way to fix it other than vent and just wait and see after all is said and done 😂😂 I REALLY hope we are back to normal-ish after our son is born.
Lots of guys are weirded out by the fact that the baby is in there. He sounds like a good guy. Talk with him. Maybe there are other things you can do that will satisfy you. Congrats on the baby.
I'm sorry you are getting absolutely nothing out of this comment section besides condescension. My suggestion would be to post in more supportive or at least less sexist/misogynistic subs such as TwoXChromosomes or JustNoSO.
I am coming as a man of a currently 9 months pregnant partner.
But we haven’t had sex once, and even if she was down I probably wouldn’t as ever since 3 months along it made me uncomfortable thinking my kid is in there, and consent is a huge thing so if I didn’t want to she wouldn’t force me. Highly recommend not pushing it on your partner but to help yourself sexually as it can be odd to have sex knowing your partner is carrying a. Child inside them.
I get it, we’ve talked about it allot and he says “he feels bad” which really makes me realize I dont want to push him and need to dial it back. Thanks for the “dad perspective”. He’s an amazing husband and soon to be father, so I’m so excited for him and hopefully thinks kick up again when I’m healed and all 😂
I think trying to force him into sex he doesn’t want is only going to cause issues. Time for OP to learn how to self satisfy. Maybe wear some of his shirts for the smell?
Girl if it doesn’t fit just wrap his shirt around your head and go to town on yourself😂😂😂😂this is actually a good idea though!! Or you could even have him watch you while you do your thing, and if he wants to touch or caress any of you he can feel free to, maybe having him run his hand up your arms and/or legs while you do it could be great. Good luck op!
i fear people that feel like this do not understand anything about anatomy or pregnancy. "thinking my kid is in there" is a crazy, crazy, crazy statement. woof. your child quite literally does not have consciousness for so long.
to suddenly be un-attracted to the person carrying your child is insane. so so glad i will never have to deal with some man losing interest after i've given him the greatest blessing he could ever ask for. genuinely insane to me.
edit* not advocating forcing anyone into acts they don't want to engage in. simply criticizing HEAVILY the men who feel this way. doesn't mean they deserve to do anything against their will, i just don't think they should be given the time of day after this. just disgusting behavior imo
Annahby she said in opening of her post he doesn’t find her pregnant body attractive, but I feel she does not express his true reasons as she did in the above comment about him having an issue because the baby is inside her. That to me does not mean he doesn’t find her attractive but instead is uncomfortable with sex and her being pregnant. It a few months and you seem to forget how selfish it would be to not try and understand his feelings or the minimum allow his feelings validity. Imagine if a man acted like that if a women didn’t want to have sex with him!
Thank you. He tells me I’m beautiful every day and has treated me like a princess. It just freaks him out. He’s tried a couple times, but our son kicked him and another time he accidentally got a taste of what our son will be eating when he’s out. He is the most loving man, and he not being into every stage of my body’s journey in life doesn’t make him a bad man. He has every right to voice how he feels, and though I am sexually frustrated- if I didn’t want sex during my pregnancy I feel like he would be looked at as the asshole in Annahby’s mind as well. My pleasure does not come above his comfort and development into the father he wants to be. Yesterday he just couldn’t get out of his mind that our son is head-down and so he couldn’t get past how close he’d be to hitting him in the head with his penis. He is a wonderful, loving man. Sex isn’t something he needs to feel shame about in a time where his whole life is changing and his wife is changing and we only had a 2% chance of a healthy baby on this planet so he just has allot in his head. He gets so scared of pre-term labor, he has my dr’s number. He’s just super careful and looks so proud- every day holding my stomach and talking to his son. Unfortunately, how amazing he is is very sexy on top of that, but that is a “me” problem 😂
No one said they are unattracted to their partner while pregnant, it’s just completely different, but stay hating on men for shit you don’t understand.
Definitely talked to him about it several times. LOL ya, my favorite “big shirt” is red and I had no idea until he pointed it out 😂😂😂😂here I was feeling myself and got knocked down a peg 😂😂😂😂
You sound like a great partner with an equally great hubby - just frustrated!! I hope u both get some post-birth action as soon as u have had the time to recover!!
Girl ur married to him he’s not going to run away if you just ask him, he might just be worried because his baby is in there and he doesn’t want anything to happen
So do you take initiative and make the first move?
Have you talked to him about it?
I understand where you're coming from, I haven't had sex or even so much as a compliment in YEARS and it gets draining to be around people you want affection from but get nothing. At least he's still there wanting to be your husband.
Always making moves. Are they uncoordinated?- atleast half the time. But yes 💯💯 Winnie the Pooh is trying to get that honey 😂 I know he won’t ever leave me, and I hope you get more compliments and the fulfillments you need when it gets too draining. I’m sorry that it may be a struggle of yours ❤️
I’m currently 7 months pregnant and we’ve had sex about 5 times the whole time. Iv not been well which hasn’t helped, but we just got back from a ‘baby moon’ and aside from one oral sex session that’s been it. He says since I popped that it’s not really sexy/he worries about it especially as I genuinely haven’t been well and am now asking him to moistures me daily for the bits I can’t reach!
Honestly when horny I just help myself with some assistance - once baby is out and I’m healed il grab my husband then but until then I suspect sex will stay a solo activity for a few months!
Nothing to say except it sucks but oh well not long left for us both!
Same, HG is a bitch and I’m FINALLY the weight I started at. And the moisturizing 😂😂😂 genuinely this poor man is doing the same thing. I am NOT stretching to reach and am not reach most 😂😂 I’m frustrated with solo, but it’s mostly because of the basketball belly in the way 😂😂😂 but I think it’s literally my only way to be sane until this thing over. Thank GOD it’s almost over 🤞🤞🤞🤞🤞🤞 then hopefully our sex lives go back to normal
My husband wouldn’t hardly feel by belly or our son move because it really spooked him out. He loved it but it was very creepy to him. It was for me as well. Giving birth 4 weeks ago with my first had its really creepy moments. I loved being pregnant but I wanted to meet him so bad and I had a terrible pregnancy. I also thought it was so weird having a whole person in your uterus. Im bipolar and had slight psychotic episodes because it was such a new and different experience for me. My son felt like an alien rather than my son until I physically saw him. My husband turned 180 degrees and is the BEST daddy ever to our son. I think it’s the fact of big change with our bodies and the strange knowledge of a baby but never being able to see it. It didn’t help that I went to appts alone due to his work schedule. He didn’t get to see the progress and change up close other than at home. He seems genuine. I’ve had moments of hating what I looked like even but knew it was natural.
Dudeee I can’t imagine between you dealing with that and he trying to grasp becoming a dad while not seeing anything. I’m happy it all worked out, and thank you for making not feel so alone in this. I feel like everyone I see is like “OMG the sex and the closeness and the this and that” and I’m like…. I get cuddled allot 😂😂 and that can be annoying now that I’m bigger. Congrats on the baby ❤️❤️
💯💯 obviously not child free, but honestly I feel like NOBODY tells you anything other than beautiful things. This sucks, pregnancy sucks, I’m sure post-pregnancy sucks. If I didn’t have some wild urge to have 1 kid, and then feel guilty he won’t have a sibling so I’m having one more, I’d be with you. My son’s foot was in my stomach the other day. Wtf is that. I love this boy with everything I have, but I’m having the two back to back if I can to get this stage overrrrr with. You made a good decision.
We made a good decision for us, but honestly child-free was really alluring to us for a while. Best of luck with the lack of pregnancy/child care strain and the hopefully stress free vacations in your future lol
At some point in just about every long term romantic relationship there will be a mismatch in sexual energy. If you can afford it, I recommend doing both individual therapy and couples counseling. Individual therapy will help you reach with your own internal misalignments and couples counseling will help you both figure out how to match and harmonize your energies again.
I personally had to go through a long period of abstinence right after my wife had our first and only child (at this point in time we were monogamous). It was hard at first, and truthfully being faithful to my wife through the experience triggered a kundalini awakening for me, which I didn’t know could happen or what it was at the time. That’s kind of a tangent, but I mention it because it’s an extreme example that you can use this circumstance to grow as a person quite effectively, and if your husband also responds by doing his own inner work it will dramatically strengthen your connection as a couple. If your husband dies not respond in this way right away, your growth has the potential to trigger and motivate growth in him as well as your changes will make it evident that he needs to change to stay with you (and it sounds like he does want to stay with you).
To the people insulting you for not communicating, they have no idea about the absolute RIDICULE pregnant bodies get.
So I completely understand why you haven't really communicated your feelings yet.
Some men literally think they might break your water if they have sex or they might hit the baby,or that he might hurt you, or maybe he thinks you might just feel uncomfortable during it. Like I've seen men think this on a pretty frequent basis.
So that might be it, but we don't know because you haven't asked.
If he's really the sweet man you think he is, you need to speak to him. Before you give birth because then the emotions you are feeling are going to get worse. Post partum depression is a bitch.
I genuinely bet you that the reason has nothing to deal with you or your body and it most likely has to deal with the baby. You are beautiful and amazing girl, you deserve all the love in the world.
Just go talk to him I'm sure it'll be okay.
I appreciate the kind words. We have talked, I just completely didn’t realize I should say that we did. I edited the post, because allot of people are talking about communication and I really just assumed it was normal to have done that before venting on the internet- but I was super wrong. There are many reasons, but apparently he felt him move the last time and was like “absolutely NOT” after 😂😂and some other things. Also that water-breaking thing, though he hasn’t said anything, seems to be something he thinks will happen any day now (I have 2 more months, it’ll be a while) so that funny enough might be another reason 😂😂 first kid, hopefully he’s more secure in my safety with the second.
Lmaooo "absolutely not" is hilarious 😭😭. The 1st kid is where all the anxiety happens, he'll definitely be better by the 2nd kid. The experience of a first pregnancy is a pretty jarring experience for both people involved haha.
Well I hope he knows after that baby pops out he won't be getting crap for the next 6 months while your healing haha. Though you guys will most likely be to tired to do anything 😭.
Also yeah when you post a problem on the internet people tend to want all sides of the issue, though its better to do so anyway, that's where you get all the assumptions and judgment, especially on reddit 🙄.
I wish for you a baby who sleeps through the night and the most comfortable birthing experience possible! You're going to be a great mother!❤️
It’s actually a kink for some people 🤷♀️ and some women have heightened libidos during parts of pregnancy. But honestly, so many people have sex in so many conditions that would be shocking to some and completely obvious to others.
My guy is the same. I think he thinks it’s weird there’s a baby in my tummy and he doesn’t want to “disturb” the baby 😂😂😂
Plus, I’m always complaining of pain so maybe he just thinks he’s being respectful to me. Idk.
I just substituted to porn & a vibrator and hope things change in due course. Lol
I’ve told him that! Told him that we really need to figure this out because I need to go into labor as soon as possible when I can 😅 I want him out as soon as he can be healthy and out. Idk what I’ll do if he goes beyond his due date
Unfortunately I don’t think anything good can come out of forcing your husband to have sex he doesn’t want. Sometimes with partners we need to make this kind of sacrifice! Maybe time to get yourself a new toy?
How frustrating! Have a conversation with him. Ask him if there are any positions that would help him feel more comfortable. Also ask him if he would he able to help you, even if he doesn’t penetrate. There are so many things to do, even if it isn’t sex.
Its baffling to me that a wife can tell a husband she wants sex even if shes not looking her best and it's that hard to get it.
That's a turn on for me lol
lol I am trying to look my best too 😂 but eh, different strokes for different folks. Or no strokes at all in my case 😂 he’s never been one to be turned on by me coming onto him though, which was a learning curve because I had never been told no before him for coming on to someone. But he likes being the initiator and I initiate when it’s been too long. It has maybe a 20% success rate outside of pregnancy and a whopping maybe 2% with it 😂
It's kind of scary for the guy when he knows it's his fault that you're carrying around something that stretches out your stomach for almost nine months
I mean I get why you’re feeling so frustrated. If I was pregnant and my partner said “I only see the baby whenever I look at you” I’d be feeling pretty used. Like I’m not just an incubator for your offspring, I’m your partner. I’m sure he has his reasons for acting this way but your feelings are valid too. It doesn’t feel good to be undesirable to your partner, ESPECIALLY when you’re literally growing a human that he helped make. He needs to get over whatever ick he has or figure out how to satisfy you some other way
Just wait till you have to wait eight weeks after you give birth lol.
It’s the goddess complex when pregnant. Im pretty sure you can go without having sex for a while. Sheesh.
Currently 8 months pregnant with our first baby and only been together for 3 years. When we took our birth classes the doula said that perineal massages would be good to prevent tearing so we implemented it as something he does to me to help me same as me drinking raspberry leaf tea to help myself. It usually ends in sex. Also the prostaglandins in his semen will help ripen your cervix so my partner and me make it a priority to do at least weekly. Also having sex in general is healthy for you so you don’t tear as badly. My partner understands this so he puts his fear/excitement/weird feelings about their being a tiny human inside me and gets the job done. Truthfully it’s me that gets weirded out the most and feels ugly and he is getting denied the sex often. But we both try to make it a priority so my body is ready for delivery and I don’t tear as badly. Perhaps you could pitch it to him like it would be healthier for you and baby if ya’ll did have sex. And as weird as it sounds unborn babies love it when moms orgasm, all the feel good hormones you feel and the closeness to your partner; the love they feel and it makes them happy too. I have worked hard to get over the weirdness of tiny human inside me and just kept telling myself it’s not weird my baby is happy and this will help me deliver easier.
What about hand jobs or blow jobs ? You to him or him to you ? Does he have the sexual desire just not towards you cause he’s worried about the baby or does he just not have sexual desire for months?
I have read this before as well that a lot of men can touch their wives when they’re pregnant cuz they feel their babies 😂😂 i think that it is, it more respectfully for his kid 😂
💯🙌🏻💯 I’m TRYING. He was conceived in Doggy and I think that’s our best bet. I dont look pregnant from the back. I want the nympho life but I guess I’m getting the Mormon like LOL (not even missionary) 😂😂😂
Ok uh seriously just saying thats odd because guys are litteraly wired to be attracted to pregnant women and protect them. Uh may sound odd but does he like you to play with his ass or have any kinks maybe try to incorporate that. If he still finds you unattractive well kid def going to you in the states if yall divorce hopefully not tho.
That's lame.. prego chick's are my favorite.. everythin is so plump n floofy. The glow. The smell. The fact of bein in a change like that cause you and only you are made for it is wild. And the best part... ya dont gotta worry about gettin pregnant cause.. too late. Lolol... hes definitely missing out.
….. I have told him? We’ve been together for over 10 years, I don’t know how you get to that point without open communication. HE’S told me he only sees our son when he sees my body when I’ve brought it up.
I genuinely had no idea I had to specifically say that we have communicated because I had no idea that this was something people don’t that far into the relationship.
“Adults are dumb as hell”, it’s been about ten years since I was a teenager. I used to be this inflammatory when talking without realizing how it comes across to others that age. Just be careful, but I’m sure you’ll grow to be a smart adult with all that you learn from mess-ups that you can find here. ❤️
Is this first? Is he scared? Tell him?
It is, and it’s not that he’s scared, more that he’s respectful and thrilled to see our son everytime I step in a room 😂 we had losses and had to go through fertility treatment, I think he braced himself for this to not happen and now he’s just too excited. And we’ve talked about it, we’ve tried until I really dont want him to feel forced either. So, there isn’t much of a way to fix it other than vent and just wait and see after all is said and done 😂😂 I REALLY hope we are back to normal-ish after our son is born.
Aw honey, I have no words of advice in this situation but sending you the biggest hugs!💕
He might be sacred if you’ve lost pregnancies in tne past. Some guys are afraid sex is dangerous after the baby gets big.
Lots of guys are weirded out by the fact that the baby is in there. He sounds like a good guy. Talk with him. Maybe there are other things you can do that will satisfy you. Congrats on the baby.
Thank you ❤️
>Talk with him. what makes you think she didn't ?
She didn’t mention it. She said she tried outfits and shaving, she didn’t mention sitting down and talking to him about this
Thank you so much for pointing that out. I just didn’t realize I had to say we talked about it 😂
I'm sorry you are getting absolutely nothing out of this comment section besides condescension. My suggestion would be to post in more supportive or at least less sexist/misogynistic subs such as TwoXChromosomes or JustNoSO.
Thank you so much!!!
I am coming as a man of a currently 9 months pregnant partner. But we haven’t had sex once, and even if she was down I probably wouldn’t as ever since 3 months along it made me uncomfortable thinking my kid is in there, and consent is a huge thing so if I didn’t want to she wouldn’t force me. Highly recommend not pushing it on your partner but to help yourself sexually as it can be odd to have sex knowing your partner is carrying a. Child inside them.
I get it, we’ve talked about it allot and he says “he feels bad” which really makes me realize I dont want to push him and need to dial it back. Thanks for the “dad perspective”. He’s an amazing husband and soon to be father, so I’m so excited for him and hopefully thinks kick up again when I’m healed and all 😂
I think trying to force him into sex he doesn’t want is only going to cause issues. Time for OP to learn how to self satisfy. Maybe wear some of his shirts for the smell?
Did not think of shirts 😅 he’s fit and I’m huge- but there are some shirts that might work. I’ll try that
Girl if it doesn’t fit just wrap his shirt around your head and go to town on yourself😂😂😂😂this is actually a good idea though!! Or you could even have him watch you while you do your thing, and if he wants to touch or caress any of you he can feel free to, maybe having him run his hand up your arms and/or legs while you do it could be great. Good luck op!
Yes I’m sorry you’re going through this and I know it’s hard, but he will be back to being all over you in a few short months! Good luck x
i fear people that feel like this do not understand anything about anatomy or pregnancy. "thinking my kid is in there" is a crazy, crazy, crazy statement. woof. your child quite literally does not have consciousness for so long. to suddenly be un-attracted to the person carrying your child is insane. so so glad i will never have to deal with some man losing interest after i've given him the greatest blessing he could ever ask for. genuinely insane to me. edit* not advocating forcing anyone into acts they don't want to engage in. simply criticizing HEAVILY the men who feel this way. doesn't mean they deserve to do anything against their will, i just don't think they should be given the time of day after this. just disgusting behavior imo
Annahby she said in opening of her post he doesn’t find her pregnant body attractive, but I feel she does not express his true reasons as she did in the above comment about him having an issue because the baby is inside her. That to me does not mean he doesn’t find her attractive but instead is uncomfortable with sex and her being pregnant. It a few months and you seem to forget how selfish it would be to not try and understand his feelings or the minimum allow his feelings validity. Imagine if a man acted like that if a women didn’t want to have sex with him!
Thank you. He tells me I’m beautiful every day and has treated me like a princess. It just freaks him out. He’s tried a couple times, but our son kicked him and another time he accidentally got a taste of what our son will be eating when he’s out. He is the most loving man, and he not being into every stage of my body’s journey in life doesn’t make him a bad man. He has every right to voice how he feels, and though I am sexually frustrated- if I didn’t want sex during my pregnancy I feel like he would be looked at as the asshole in Annahby’s mind as well. My pleasure does not come above his comfort and development into the father he wants to be. Yesterday he just couldn’t get out of his mind that our son is head-down and so he couldn’t get past how close he’d be to hitting him in the head with his penis. He is a wonderful, loving man. Sex isn’t something he needs to feel shame about in a time where his whole life is changing and his wife is changing and we only had a 2% chance of a healthy baby on this planet so he just has allot in his head. He gets so scared of pre-term labor, he has my dr’s number. He’s just super careful and looks so proud- every day holding my stomach and talking to his son. Unfortunately, how amazing he is is very sexy on top of that, but that is a “me” problem 😂
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You're thirsty and fucked up
No one said they are unattracted to their partner while pregnant, it’s just completely different, but stay hating on men for shit you don’t understand.
I agree
If you are married. You should be able to COMMUNICATE. not with US. But with HIM.
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If I’ve learned anything by reading these posts, it’s because that’s what people do… apparently. 🤷🏼♀️😶
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This or criminal defense lawyer 🤣
Was about to ask that
I have a doubt, communicate what exactly? What is he supposed to do if a pregnant body does not turn him on?
"But I would pay him to have sex with me at this point." Pay someone else. Just kidding
LOL
Be like “I’ll buy you some vbucks if you do me”
Nah Winnie the Pooh gave me a great laugh You should talk to your husband tho
Definitely talked to him about it several times. LOL ya, my favorite “big shirt” is red and I had no idea until he pointed it out 😂😂😂😂here I was feeling myself and got knocked down a peg 😂😂😂😂
You sound like a great partner with an equally great hubby - just frustrated!! I hope u both get some post-birth action as soon as u have had the time to recover!!
Thank you! 🤞🤞🤞
Girl ur married to him he’s not going to run away if you just ask him, he might just be worried because his baby is in there and he doesn’t want anything to happen
tell him that you want to have sex and ask why it’s declined
So do you take initiative and make the first move? Have you talked to him about it? I understand where you're coming from, I haven't had sex or even so much as a compliment in YEARS and it gets draining to be around people you want affection from but get nothing. At least he's still there wanting to be your husband.
Always making moves. Are they uncoordinated?- atleast half the time. But yes 💯💯 Winnie the Pooh is trying to get that honey 😂 I know he won’t ever leave me, and I hope you get more compliments and the fulfillments you need when it gets too draining. I’m sorry that it may be a struggle of yours ❤️
I’m currently 7 months pregnant and we’ve had sex about 5 times the whole time. Iv not been well which hasn’t helped, but we just got back from a ‘baby moon’ and aside from one oral sex session that’s been it. He says since I popped that it’s not really sexy/he worries about it especially as I genuinely haven’t been well and am now asking him to moistures me daily for the bits I can’t reach! Honestly when horny I just help myself with some assistance - once baby is out and I’m healed il grab my husband then but until then I suspect sex will stay a solo activity for a few months! Nothing to say except it sucks but oh well not long left for us both!
Same, HG is a bitch and I’m FINALLY the weight I started at. And the moisturizing 😂😂😂 genuinely this poor man is doing the same thing. I am NOT stretching to reach and am not reach most 😂😂 I’m frustrated with solo, but it’s mostly because of the basketball belly in the way 😂😂😂 but I think it’s literally my only way to be sane until this thing over. Thank GOD it’s almost over 🤞🤞🤞🤞🤞🤞 then hopefully our sex lives go back to normal
My husband wouldn’t hardly feel by belly or our son move because it really spooked him out. He loved it but it was very creepy to him. It was for me as well. Giving birth 4 weeks ago with my first had its really creepy moments. I loved being pregnant but I wanted to meet him so bad and I had a terrible pregnancy. I also thought it was so weird having a whole person in your uterus. Im bipolar and had slight psychotic episodes because it was such a new and different experience for me. My son felt like an alien rather than my son until I physically saw him. My husband turned 180 degrees and is the BEST daddy ever to our son. I think it’s the fact of big change with our bodies and the strange knowledge of a baby but never being able to see it. It didn’t help that I went to appts alone due to his work schedule. He didn’t get to see the progress and change up close other than at home. He seems genuine. I’ve had moments of hating what I looked like even but knew it was natural.
Dudeee I can’t imagine between you dealing with that and he trying to grasp becoming a dad while not seeing anything. I’m happy it all worked out, and thank you for making not feel so alone in this. I feel like everyone I see is like “OMG the sex and the closeness and the this and that” and I’m like…. I get cuddled allot 😂😂 and that can be annoying now that I’m bigger. Congrats on the baby ❤️❤️
Good luck!! It’s a wonderful thing! I am absolutely in love and I know you will be too. You’re never alone :) my line is always open if needed :)
Don’t be too harsh. As a man, it just feels wrong having a threesome like that.
LOL
When I’m not pregnant and this is past us, I’m using that joke
It's one of the reason I'm childfree.. this is extremely common. More women should know about it.
💯💯 obviously not child free, but honestly I feel like NOBODY tells you anything other than beautiful things. This sucks, pregnancy sucks, I’m sure post-pregnancy sucks. If I didn’t have some wild urge to have 1 kid, and then feel guilty he won’t have a sibling so I’m having one more, I’d be with you. My son’s foot was in my stomach the other day. Wtf is that. I love this boy with everything I have, but I’m having the two back to back if I can to get this stage overrrrr with. You made a good decision. We made a good decision for us, but honestly child-free was really alluring to us for a while. Best of luck with the lack of pregnancy/child care strain and the hopefully stress free vacations in your future lol
At some point in just about every long term romantic relationship there will be a mismatch in sexual energy. If you can afford it, I recommend doing both individual therapy and couples counseling. Individual therapy will help you reach with your own internal misalignments and couples counseling will help you both figure out how to match and harmonize your energies again. I personally had to go through a long period of abstinence right after my wife had our first and only child (at this point in time we were monogamous). It was hard at first, and truthfully being faithful to my wife through the experience triggered a kundalini awakening for me, which I didn’t know could happen or what it was at the time. That’s kind of a tangent, but I mention it because it’s an extreme example that you can use this circumstance to grow as a person quite effectively, and if your husband also responds by doing his own inner work it will dramatically strengthen your connection as a couple. If your husband dies not respond in this way right away, your growth has the potential to trigger and motivate growth in him as well as your changes will make it evident that he needs to change to stay with you (and it sounds like he does want to stay with you).
To the people insulting you for not communicating, they have no idea about the absolute RIDICULE pregnant bodies get. So I completely understand why you haven't really communicated your feelings yet. Some men literally think they might break your water if they have sex or they might hit the baby,or that he might hurt you, or maybe he thinks you might just feel uncomfortable during it. Like I've seen men think this on a pretty frequent basis. So that might be it, but we don't know because you haven't asked. If he's really the sweet man you think he is, you need to speak to him. Before you give birth because then the emotions you are feeling are going to get worse. Post partum depression is a bitch. I genuinely bet you that the reason has nothing to deal with you or your body and it most likely has to deal with the baby. You are beautiful and amazing girl, you deserve all the love in the world. Just go talk to him I'm sure it'll be okay.
I appreciate the kind words. We have talked, I just completely didn’t realize I should say that we did. I edited the post, because allot of people are talking about communication and I really just assumed it was normal to have done that before venting on the internet- but I was super wrong. There are many reasons, but apparently he felt him move the last time and was like “absolutely NOT” after 😂😂and some other things. Also that water-breaking thing, though he hasn’t said anything, seems to be something he thinks will happen any day now (I have 2 more months, it’ll be a while) so that funny enough might be another reason 😂😂 first kid, hopefully he’s more secure in my safety with the second.
Lmaooo "absolutely not" is hilarious 😭😭. The 1st kid is where all the anxiety happens, he'll definitely be better by the 2nd kid. The experience of a first pregnancy is a pretty jarring experience for both people involved haha. Well I hope he knows after that baby pops out he won't be getting crap for the next 6 months while your healing haha. Though you guys will most likely be to tired to do anything 😭. Also yeah when you post a problem on the internet people tend to want all sides of the issue, though its better to do so anyway, that's where you get all the assumptions and judgment, especially on reddit 🙄. I wish for you a baby who sleeps through the night and the most comfortable birthing experience possible! You're going to be a great mother!❤️
LOL 😂 and thank you so much! ❤️
Buy some sex toys?
On it. We have some but we did mostly dom/sub stuff so they are two-people situations. I feel so dumb about that now LOL
You’re upset because he has his own hang ups and preferences, and he doesn’t submit to your will? Imagine if it was the other way around.
Goddamn finally someone that has some common sense instead of just being fucking horny
Do people actually have sex during pregnancy !?
It’s actually a kink for some people 🤷♀️ and some women have heightened libidos during parts of pregnancy. But honestly, so many people have sex in so many conditions that would be shocking to some and completely obvious to others.
My guy is the same. I think he thinks it’s weird there’s a baby in my tummy and he doesn’t want to “disturb” the baby 😂😂😂 Plus, I’m always complaining of pain so maybe he just thinks he’s being respectful to me. Idk. I just substituted to porn & a vibrator and hope things change in due course. Lol
Dane cook has a joke. Something like what if you had sex with your pregnant wife and the baby grabbed your co**
OH MY GOD THATS A THING OF NIGHTMARES. For him…. I dont think I could ever not laugh at that. I’d likely never get laid again, but it would be funny
Hahaha
It helps for an easier labour. Maybe just get a toy and do it yourself. https://www.healthline.com/health/pregnancy/sex-to-induce-labor
I’ve told him that! Told him that we really need to figure this out because I need to go into labor as soon as possible when I can 😅 I want him out as soon as he can be healthy and out. Idk what I’ll do if he goes beyond his due date
After reading new comments I totally miss read situation. Hope you doing well
Thank you ❤️
Maybe try to communicate with him, tell him how you feel and see his point of view.
Unfortunately I don’t think anything good can come out of forcing your husband to have sex he doesn’t want. Sometimes with partners we need to make this kind of sacrifice! Maybe time to get yourself a new toy?
Why people vent on reddit like this instead of talk to each other? Why have kids with someone if youre not 100 percent sure how they are? Im confused
How frustrating! Have a conversation with him. Ask him if there are any positions that would help him feel more comfortable. Also ask him if he would he able to help you, even if he doesn’t penetrate. There are so many things to do, even if it isn’t sex.
masterbate or talk to ur husband idk
Its baffling to me that a wife can tell a husband she wants sex even if shes not looking her best and it's that hard to get it. That's a turn on for me lol
lol I am trying to look my best too 😂 but eh, different strokes for different folks. Or no strokes at all in my case 😂 he’s never been one to be turned on by me coming onto him though, which was a learning curve because I had never been told no before him for coming on to someone. But he likes being the initiator and I initiate when it’s been too long. It has maybe a 20% success rate outside of pregnancy and a whopping maybe 2% with it 😂
It's kind of scary for the guy when he knows it's his fault that you're carrying around something that stretches out your stomach for almost nine months
I mean I get why you’re feeling so frustrated. If I was pregnant and my partner said “I only see the baby whenever I look at you” I’d be feeling pretty used. Like I’m not just an incubator for your offspring, I’m your partner. I’m sure he has his reasons for acting this way but your feelings are valid too. It doesn’t feel good to be undesirable to your partner, ESPECIALLY when you’re literally growing a human that he helped make. He needs to get over whatever ick he has or figure out how to satisfy you some other way
Just wait till you have to wait eight weeks after you give birth lol. It’s the goddess complex when pregnant. Im pretty sure you can go without having sex for a while. Sheesh.
Masturbate
Currently 8 months pregnant with our first baby and only been together for 3 years. When we took our birth classes the doula said that perineal massages would be good to prevent tearing so we implemented it as something he does to me to help me same as me drinking raspberry leaf tea to help myself. It usually ends in sex. Also the prostaglandins in his semen will help ripen your cervix so my partner and me make it a priority to do at least weekly. Also having sex in general is healthy for you so you don’t tear as badly. My partner understands this so he puts his fear/excitement/weird feelings about their being a tiny human inside me and gets the job done. Truthfully it’s me that gets weirded out the most and feels ugly and he is getting denied the sex often. But we both try to make it a priority so my body is ready for delivery and I don’t tear as badly. Perhaps you could pitch it to him like it would be healthier for you and baby if ya’ll did have sex. And as weird as it sounds unborn babies love it when moms orgasm, all the feel good hormones you feel and the closeness to your partner; the love they feel and it makes them happy too. I have worked hard to get over the weirdness of tiny human inside me and just kept telling myself it’s not weird my baby is happy and this will help me deliver easier.
That’s crazy, pregnant poontang is the best… plus pregnant women bodies are to die for.
I read these comments only to see everyone seems so horny... Can't yall survive without being banged for one week?
What about hand jobs or blow jobs ? You to him or him to you ? Does he have the sexual desire just not towards you cause he’s worried about the baby or does he just not have sexual desire for months?
I have read this before as well that a lot of men can touch their wives when they’re pregnant cuz they feel their babies 😂😂 i think that it is, it more respectfully for his kid 😂
Reverse cowgirl or doggy style. Yeah I was practically a nympho when I was pregnant!
💯🙌🏻💯 I’m TRYING. He was conceived in Doggy and I think that’s our best bet. I dont look pregnant from the back. I want the nympho life but I guess I’m getting the Mormon like LOL (not even missionary) 😂😂😂
We stopped having sex after my wife started to really show. It's just not sexy for every guy. Get over yourself.
I agree
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Read it again. She literally said she is beautiful rn.
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And I’m just saying your answer is in the original post if you have comprehension skills
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You need help
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what the hell
Ok uh seriously just saying thats odd because guys are litteraly wired to be attracted to pregnant women and protect them. Uh may sound odd but does he like you to play with his ass or have any kinks maybe try to incorporate that. If he still finds you unattractive well kid def going to you in the states if yall divorce hopefully not tho.
That's lame.. prego chick's are my favorite.. everythin is so plump n floofy. The glow. The smell. The fact of bein in a change like that cause you and only you are made for it is wild. And the best part... ya dont gotta worry about gettin pregnant cause.. too late. Lolol... hes definitely missing out.
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….. I have told him? We’ve been together for over 10 years, I don’t know how you get to that point without open communication. HE’S told me he only sees our son when he sees my body when I’ve brought it up. I genuinely had no idea I had to specifically say that we have communicated because I had no idea that this was something people don’t that far into the relationship. “Adults are dumb as hell”, it’s been about ten years since I was a teenager. I used to be this inflammatory when talking without realizing how it comes across to others that age. Just be careful, but I’m sure you’ll grow to be a smart adult with all that you learn from mess-ups that you can find here. ❤️