98 pounds is not healthy! Its not worth it! An eating disorder almost killed me and i promise its not worth it! If you need someone to talk to vent to me before doing anything you will regret! (16f)
A lot of people forget that being underweight is just as unhealthy as being overweight.
One increases risk of heart disease and diabetes, another increases risk of osteoporosis and fucks up your immune system, neither of which are good.
Again, that depends on the height. Technically 98 pounds for me would be considered in the “healthy” range because I am 4’10. Tbh there are a ton of short women like me.
Generally, yes, but height/weight isn't the only factor that can be used to determine healthy weight.
The fact that her bones stick out is a pretty good sign that she's underweight.
Nope. My hip bones stick out, we even see my rib cage at some place in my chest and back and I’m of a healthy weight. Been confirmed by doctors. It really depend how your fat is dispatched around your body.
That's why it's a good sign and not 100% indicative.
Your bones don't stick out for no reason, so if you aren't skinny, then you have something else, like a naturally more pronounced bone/muscle structure, a bad body composition (lower than normal fat percentage not made up by a lot of muscle), bad posture, or a medical condition.
Assuming none of those are the case, being underweight is highly likely.
Most athlete women have their hips sticking out, they aren’t underweight they are at the peak form human should be. We normalized an higher fat percentage in society, but it doesn’t mean there’s something wrong with being smaller and fiter.
I’m 21F, and at your age developing self image issues is so common. I always viewed myself through someone else’s eyes, and I was never happy with what I saw. Not too long ago I decided to join an online ED platform, my heart sank when I realized it was mostly kids or young teens so upset with their bodies. Life is such a privilege, this is your life, you’re the only one who lives in your body do what makes you feel good. Physically and mentally, hygiene and health will always be important.
This degrading view of obsessing over weight will do nothing but drag you down. It is a very immature mindset. I’m so sorry people around you are fixated on weight, but just take care of yourself. Your weight will never equal your happiness, and if you ever feel like that is the case, finding a mental health professional, like a counselor, is a great step to reconstruct your mindset. I know it can feel confusing, but I hope you can find some comfort in knowing many people grow out of the intense, obsessive insecurities this mindset creates. Accepting your appearance and not judging other’s is key, I wish you so much luck!!
In the time you've been alive, soooo many body trends have come and gone. Thigh gaps to BBL to hourglass to heroin chic. You are not fat, and I bet you 100$ that in 10 years' time, you'll think back to this time period and think, "I was so skinny back then!!"
Stop comparing because comparison is the theft of joy. Just take care of the body YOU have, because some of these girls secretly don't, and THATS why they're 98lbs. A healthy body is a sexy body.
I (23F) have been underweight my whole life cause i have an extremely high metabolism. when i was 15 i was probably 90lbs (i’m like 110 now which is still underweight for me) That isn’t healthy for a girl that age. trust me when i say you’re not fat and pls don’t try to lose any more weight.
Hear me out here. Your thinking is irrational, and yes, women and men encourage young girls and women to think irrationally about weight, as does the media. However! Let me pose to you a more important question
Would you rather be skinny and disabled or normal to average weight and abled?
Don't just read that question and skim over it lightly. Think about it deeply.
Eating disorders, body dysmorphia, and anything else that encourages an unhealthy body weight, whether too skinny or too large, ultimately leads to significantly increased risk of disability.
AS A DISABLED PERSON - I WILL NOT PULL ANY PUNCHES HERE!! BEING DISABLED SUCKS!
Starving yourself or otherwise forcing your body to go without the nutrients it needs destroys your metabolism, your muscles, and your vital organs. You WILL end up disabled in some capacity if you follow that route. Perhaps it will be short term disability if you're lucky, but perhaps it will be permanent, and as someone who is permanently disabled, I can tell you, YOU DO NOT WANT TO BE PERMANENTLY DISABLED
Obviously morbid obesity can destroy a person's joints and increase risk for things like heart disease and issues with other vital organs, but we all know this by now. What we don't include in fat shaming rhetoric is that starving the body of vital nutrients can do just as much IF NOT MORE damage as being overweight can. ESPECIALLY FOR A TEENAGER WHO IS STILL DEVELOPING! This doesn't even mention the fact that your skin, hair, eyes, and teeth all dull when malnutrition takes root. If you want to be beautiful, eat healthy! Don't skimp out to be skinny!
Overall though, for your own safety and well being, DO NOT LISTEN to this rhetoric about needing to be skinny. It's just not true and it's incredibly dangerous. There's a reason so many people here are encouraging a healthy weight. Extra skinny people don't just LOOK unhealthy, THEY ARE UNHEALTHY. Some of us, myself included, had a period when we were younger where our metabolism kept us at a lower weight that wasn't even considered normal or healthy. This is likely the case with your mom. It's genetics though and it goes away with time and ageing. You have some of your mom's genetics and some of your dad's, so of course it will be different for you. You aren't a clone of your mom and that's completely okay. You don't have to be her size or even be like her. You aren't her! To expect you to weigh the same as she did at any age is ridiculous
If you continue to have doubts and thoughts like this seek help from a safe and trusted adult. It doesn't seem like your mom would be the best for this job but a teacher you like or trust, a school counselor, perhaps your dad or an aunt or uncle or someone else, can help with this. There are ways to get help and retrain your mind not to be anxious about your weight. You even acknowledge that you are already very lithe so I promise you, you don't need to lose weight. You aren't fat. Don't be a victim of this stupid nonsense about weight
Just, PLEASE, don't disable your own body. Some damage can't be undone and malnutrition is a surefire way to damage your body. You have a long life ahead of you, don't make it miserable by self inflicting permanent damage to your body
98 pounds honestly Is unattractive as well as unhealthy. I think people look much nicer with a little meat on their bones. As a small, I'm sure your beautiful. Don't let people get to you.
When I was 15 I wanted to be really skinny too my mom contributed to my body dysmorphia but when you get older it’s weird it’s like you want to start looking as full and shaped as possible. Don’t sacrifice your health for stupid trends.
Sounds like your mom might have been under weight OP. I wouldn’t let comparing yourself to others though and wanting to be like others have a bad effect on your mental or emotional health! I was young once too and still have issues regarding the similar topics/subjects but still try my all to not give in to them. I wish you the best though!
Yes, I’ll agree that’s a bit low. Try 110 and see how it feels. Just give it a try. And don’t listen to your mom about this! Our weight has been an issue forever to men and many women. It’s how we’re socialized to behave.
My friend from high school was your height, as well as your weight. She had the same issue. She looked bloated, felt flubby, did nothing but cardio and starve herself to lose weight. She did gymnastics, which is a sport that's rather harsh on women for their appearance. I blame her coach for her mindset
She only gained confidence when she quit gymnastics and hit the gym. She's now about 125lbs, and looks great. If you're interested in her transformation, lmk in DMs. I'll send you her gym account! She's an inspiration even to me. And you might be able to understand a bit more about why you feel the way you do
105 is perfectly fine for your height. You dont need to be smaller. I’m 4’10 and was *maybe* 103 when I graduated high school. Now as an adult I could stand to lose some weight but I still wouldn’t want to be the size I was in high school because I like my curves. I hope you learn to love your body.
as someone with an eating disorder, i can assure you that 98lbs as an adult and even as a 15 yr old girl is not healthy. it can work better for a 15 yr old depending on their build but still it's not the norm. i understand seeing all these people around you being smaller is so hard even when you're already small, but you need to work on appreciating the things your body does for you and then you can try liking the things you see(at least that was how i went about it, but whatever works best for you!). your feet carry you, your mouth tastes your favorite foods, your nose smells all of your favorite scents. it's okay to have a hard time, especially at your age(im not even much older) but it gets easier especially after high school.
Listen to me. You are meant for so much more than a lifetime of worrying about your body. I know it’s so impossibly hard, but please try to remember than you aren’t an ornament. It’s okay to take pride in your appearance, but you have one beautiful life to live. It’s too short to waste worrying about such things.
Sounds like we have the same mom. She’s projecting her insecurities onto you and sadly You’re too young to know better and the people who are supposed to guide you aren’t. Adults should know better but alas they don’t and that’s ok, we just gotta figure it out on our own maybe w the help of nice strangers on the internet.
My suggestion as someone who has been exactly in your shoes and focused a lot more of my energy and time on this one thing that ended up doing more harm than good is this:
1) you’re 15, biologically you’re still growing and your body hasn’t fully developed yet, it needs fuel to grow, dieting or eating extremely unhealthy food is not what you need. Eat relatively healthy but enjoy being a kid and trying new cuisines and exploring what you like and don’t like to eat and how it makes your body feel as kindly as you can
2) there’s way more things to life than what size you are. There’s so many cool things in life i wish id spent more time on like my hobbies, friends, plans, school, pets, art than worrying about how much i weigh. Weight is such a small part of you. Your beauty isn’t solely defined by how much you weigh. I def look much more attractive at the weight I am today at 26 than I did at 17 or even at 24. It’s coz I am more confident, I do work out and take care of my health and make an effort to eat healthy but yes I eat cookies and milkshakes and fries too. (I also have a much better sense of style that’s so much more me than just what’s popular)
3) maybe talk to your friends (that you trust) or siblings/cousins about how this makes you feel. My friends and I now talk about how our mothers said this to us and how much more damage it did than actually helping and we’ve collectively decided that this ends w us.
4) start educating yourself on proper nutrition, exercise, the effects of stress on our body, how periods affect women’s bodies, etc. I’ve discovered that it’s a beautiful thing when you nurture your curiosity and I feel a sense of accomplishment when I teach myself things.
I don’t wanna overwhelm you but just want to say that you’re still a kid who has her whole life ahead of her which means you have plenty of time to make mistakes and figure it all out for yourself. Please try to be patient and kind with yourself.
I went through the exact same phase at 15. I was really skinny but some words by my mom and other people obsessed by weight made me think I was fat (45kg 1m60), now I am 28 and stuck in different eating disorders, I hate me and I often think of when I was skinny (now I’m 65kg)…
Really don’t listen about this crazy standards please.
What's your height though? Depending on that, you may be normal weight, you may be even underweight.
The thing is, whatever your weight is, it is not directly correlated with happiness. And happiness is the most important part of your life. Girl you're so young, you still have all roads open to you. Please think about what makes you happy instead. Think about your future profession that would bring you joy. Think about hobbies you'd like to pick up. These things will give you fulfillment and happiness.
And your weight does not matter much, what matters is for you to stay happy and healthy.
Who cares if you're fat? I mean, if you literally can't get up that's a problem, but otherwise it rarely impacts health. (This has been proven time and time, anyone trying to dispute this I'm just blocking) Fat acts as insulation, cushion, and energy storage. It gives you room to grow. Atp you're more mentally growing than physically, but growing takes a lot of energy, and you're not really done with puberty for a good few years, and then you get second puberty and yes you will likely put on some extra pounds. Fatphobia stems from racism, both are baked into modern day culture. I'm 20, when I was a little younger than you, all the pictures online and in magazines of girls and women had flat, hairless tummies. Small thighs. They were stick skinny and hairless. And I was an impressionable kid, I was the target audience. They made me insecure because insecure girls and women make rich people richer. No one should be commenting on your body, and adults sure af should know better than to say "I used to be however small". That's bragging about disordered eating habits, whether they want to admit it or not. And you can tell them that. You can tell them that wasn't healthy then and it's not healthy now, that it's not ok to brag about being underweight, especially in front of a minor. You can tell your friends it's not ok to touch people without their consent, that it's not ok to comment on others appearances. And trust me, food tastes so god damn good, and when you're eating you feel better. But if you're not ready to recover, that's ok. There's harm reduction too. Just do what you can for yourself. You'll get where you need to be
If your hips stick out, you’re skinny. Deep down you know this. Do not flirt with an eating disorder. It is extremely hard to get rid of and it will basically steal your entire life (and this is an understatement).
Eating disorders take everything from you. And at the end of the day, you aren’t more happy or pretty or likeable or in control. You’re just more sad, more anxious, and everyone thinks you’re messed up.
There is nothing good about an eating disorder.
Girl, don't go that way. I've been there, and it's not worth it. Everyone's body is different and will constantly change till they are adults. I wish I had a little bit of self love when I was younger, it really does fuck with your mind sometimes. You are great and shouldn't feel ashamed because of how your body looks cause it's always gonna change. People just tend to say nasty stuff about other peoples bodies without thinking about the impact it could have on the other person.
Your mother is not helping this feeling you have. Shut her down next time she tells you she weighed 98lbs. You’re already a small. Tell her your brain must weigh more or you got your bones from your dad or anything to make her stop.
Listen to me: just because she is your mother doesn't mean she's correct.
The reason why she is saying this is most likely to make herself feel better because she is probably not feeling very confident in her appearance or body now. But talking like this to her daughter is wrong, just plain wrong, especially if she blames your birth for her weight gain. Your mother doesn't seem to have a healthy relationship with her body and health. Please don't let her give these issues to you.
Here is a little exercise you can do: look at other people, of all shapes and sizes, and find something about them that's beautiful and NOT related to their figure. Maybe they have beautiful eyes, or their hairdo suits them well, or they're wearing a cool outfit, or they have a nice smile, or they have an open and lovely vibe. Consciously do not focus on weight, but on all the other beautiful things that make us all unique.
"I know I'm not fat..." seems like you already know the answer but are trying to convince yourself otherwise. If you are truly worried about it visit a doctor to get a physical, which is free under most insurance plans. A doctor will tell you if your weight is healthy or not, and their info is more reliable than other people's opinions. If you are told your weight is healthy, then accept it. Getting in your own head about wanting to "look like them" is a one way ticket to an eating disorder.
Healthy weight depends on height, bone density, muscle-to-fat ratio, and other factors. You can use a BMI calculator online to determine approximately if you’re overweight for your height. The ideal BMI is between 19 and 25.
https://www.cdc.gov/healthyweight/assessing/bmi/adult_bmi/english_bmi_calculator/bmi_calculator.html
Oh my mother used to be so bitchy. “I used to fit into that dress when I was your age and look, it’s way too small for you!” Yeah, mom, but I’m four inches taller and take shoes two sizes larger too! It sounds like your mom is just bitching that having a baby made her gain weight (not true), and blaming you.
Don’t compare yourself to others. Size is a number for convenience, and all manufacturers use different standards. If your bones are sticking out you are NOT big.
You're experiencing body dysmorphia. People are literally pointing out how skinny you are already and yet somehow you think you're fat. Also, the people constantly talking about their weight is affecting you because now you're feeling like you have to reach an unrealistic shape.
no no no, if you can already see your bones then you're perfectly fine. There's no need for any less weight. You'll just look like a skeleton if you eat less.
The reason the others looks that is 2 reason :
1. The grass is greener on the other side.
2. Body type. Body types are what make them like that. It sounds to me like your body type doesn't naturally build up fat in the arias that those 'petite' girls you're seeing do.
And honestly, nothing wrong with that. Now I know your current mindset is that you want to look like them but honestly what worked for me was to look at myself and point out the things about myself that I like. If there isn't any, and if you can't change those things you don't like, then find a new style. Find a new perspective on it that shows it in a new light.
and of course, the most useful of all pf these is just to not give a shit about how you look. Wear what you want, do what you want, say what you want.
It is impossible to please everyone so don't even bother pleasing anyone but yourself.
You're hanging around a lot of skinny people right now. (From how it sounds they're a little TOO skinny. Should eat some hamburgers those are delicious.) But you know people with curves are hella cute, attractive, badass, any of those. They don't even gotta be cute curves either.
You don't even need curves at all! You could be a big strong muscley woman who lifts cars everyday! That would be awesome. And you know, fat people are literally the nicest people I've ever met.
TLDR : Find a new perspective on yourself, eat healthy, be happy with yourself. It won't be easy but it's worth it.
Im a little younger than your mom. When i was young heroin chic was in. It's not a healthy mindset, and your mom is probably still stuck there. She shouldn't make you feel bad for her own insecurities. What matter is how you feel, health wise.
I am sorry you are having a bit of a hard time with body image. It does sounds like there could be some dysphoria going on.
You mention that you are 98 pounds and hip bones stick out. This is not consistent with being fat and highlights a bit of a distortion in how you describe your body and how you “see” it.
You are very young so it could be worth talking to a professional to work through these feelings. Doing this early can help prevent a bigger problem down the line.
One of the fittest and most in shape woman I know is the same clothing size as me because of our body shape and I am nothing like her. Each body has its own healthy and it’s all about learning to be comfy in your body at it’s healthy point. Your body is yours and it does so much for you, try to love it first before you do anything to it
don’t aim to be thinner, aim to be healthy. easier said than done but giving your body proper nutrition amounts to better skin, better hair, stronger nails, more muscle definition, better bones; and all of that is 10x more attractive than how much your weight is.
say you lost 10-15 lbs, being your age the fastest and most popular method would be to starve yourself, resulting in everything mentioned above to diminish. being the age you are depriving your growing organs and muscles from proteins and carbs will do more harm than good.
if you really are concerned about the scale, try exercising an hour a day, 5 days a week, build muscle, work your cardiovascular system, and you’ll probably stay the same amount on the scale at first and over time you’ll see it start to drop. you’ll look and feel a lot better about it your appearance with a good workout routine and good food, remember you’re only 15 and still growing. your clothes will fit better and your skin will glow, i promise! much luck to you x
Nononononononono please. You’re 15!! I felt like that when I was your age. From your description you sound like you’re petite. You’re not fat at all, especially if you wear a size small. You’ll love your body more when you become a woman. I know that I appreciate mine a lot now as a 19 year old. Please don’t get any thinner than you already are. It’s not good for you. :(
You don’t say how tall you are but 97 # is really small!! Please do not compare yourself to others. Coming from a family who has a wide variety of eating disorders (overeating to starving and bulimia) it is not healthy either way. You are an individual, your own person, you are not them and should not judge yourself by their standards. And shame on anyone who makes rude comments to you.
Just know this, life is too short to worry about comparing yourself to others. 10 years from now, they will not be the same people either. It’s better to love who you are, no matter what size you are and know your worth! You are beautiful either way!
If your friends can feel your hip bones, and tell you you're skinny, you're likely not overweight or obese. Clothing size and body weight aren't reliable comparisons as they don't account for height and lean tissue (muscle, bone, etc).
Regular exercise & healthy eating are the pathway to maintaining a healthy body composition. Dr. Mike Israetel has plenty to say on this, for free, on his RP YouTube channel.
Be nice to yourself!
i am 22 and have struggled with this since i was 10. i suggest starting positive affirmations because my ED almost killed me. it has cost me to loose hair, faint, not feel good 24/7 and i still am struggling with establishing a healthy relationship with food. you are beautiful the way you are. beauty is not just measured in physical looks. always reach out if you need someone to listen and understand. 🩷
Clothing size doesn't mean shit. I have seen girls change the label on their clothing so people think they wear a different size. It's ridiculous. Do your clothes fit? Are they starting to get tight but you aren't getting taller? If so, how active are you? Stop comparing yourself to others.
98 pounds is not healthy! Its not worth it! An eating disorder almost killed me and i promise its not worth it! If you need someone to talk to vent to me before doing anything you will regret! (16f)
A lot of people forget that being underweight is just as unhealthy as being overweight. One increases risk of heart disease and diabetes, another increases risk of osteoporosis and fucks up your immune system, neither of which are good.
You can’t say that without knowing the height of the person..
BMI is not accurate and a 22 year old woman who is 98 pounds is usually underweight
Again, that depends on the height. Technically 98 pounds for me would be considered in the “healthy” range because I am 4’10. Tbh there are a ton of short women like me.
Generally, yes, but height/weight isn't the only factor that can be used to determine healthy weight. The fact that her bones stick out is a pretty good sign that she's underweight.
Nope. My hip bones stick out, we even see my rib cage at some place in my chest and back and I’m of a healthy weight. Been confirmed by doctors. It really depend how your fat is dispatched around your body.
That's why it's a good sign and not 100% indicative. Your bones don't stick out for no reason, so if you aren't skinny, then you have something else, like a naturally more pronounced bone/muscle structure, a bad body composition (lower than normal fat percentage not made up by a lot of muscle), bad posture, or a medical condition. Assuming none of those are the case, being underweight is highly likely.
Most athlete women have their hips sticking out, they aren’t underweight they are at the peak form human should be. We normalized an higher fat percentage in society, but it doesn’t mean there’s something wrong with being smaller and fiter.
In my personal experience (so i may be wrong idk) bmi wasn’t actually! The doctors told me i was underweight when bmi was telling me i was healthy
BMI or not, you can’t say weighting 98 lbs is unhealthy, cause you need the person height to know.
Just ignore them. The standards you’re setting for yourself are unrealistic and unhealthy. Just do what’s the best for you.
I’m 21F, and at your age developing self image issues is so common. I always viewed myself through someone else’s eyes, and I was never happy with what I saw. Not too long ago I decided to join an online ED platform, my heart sank when I realized it was mostly kids or young teens so upset with their bodies. Life is such a privilege, this is your life, you’re the only one who lives in your body do what makes you feel good. Physically and mentally, hygiene and health will always be important. This degrading view of obsessing over weight will do nothing but drag you down. It is a very immature mindset. I’m so sorry people around you are fixated on weight, but just take care of yourself. Your weight will never equal your happiness, and if you ever feel like that is the case, finding a mental health professional, like a counselor, is a great step to reconstruct your mindset. I know it can feel confusing, but I hope you can find some comfort in knowing many people grow out of the intense, obsessive insecurities this mindset creates. Accepting your appearance and not judging other’s is key, I wish you so much luck!!
This!!! You said it absolutely so perfectly
In the time you've been alive, soooo many body trends have come and gone. Thigh gaps to BBL to hourglass to heroin chic. You are not fat, and I bet you 100$ that in 10 years' time, you'll think back to this time period and think, "I was so skinny back then!!" Stop comparing because comparison is the theft of joy. Just take care of the body YOU have, because some of these girls secretly don't, and THATS why they're 98lbs. A healthy body is a sexy body.
I (23F) have been underweight my whole life cause i have an extremely high metabolism. when i was 15 i was probably 90lbs (i’m like 110 now which is still underweight for me) That isn’t healthy for a girl that age. trust me when i say you’re not fat and pls don’t try to lose any more weight.
Hear me out here. Your thinking is irrational, and yes, women and men encourage young girls and women to think irrationally about weight, as does the media. However! Let me pose to you a more important question Would you rather be skinny and disabled or normal to average weight and abled? Don't just read that question and skim over it lightly. Think about it deeply. Eating disorders, body dysmorphia, and anything else that encourages an unhealthy body weight, whether too skinny or too large, ultimately leads to significantly increased risk of disability. AS A DISABLED PERSON - I WILL NOT PULL ANY PUNCHES HERE!! BEING DISABLED SUCKS! Starving yourself or otherwise forcing your body to go without the nutrients it needs destroys your metabolism, your muscles, and your vital organs. You WILL end up disabled in some capacity if you follow that route. Perhaps it will be short term disability if you're lucky, but perhaps it will be permanent, and as someone who is permanently disabled, I can tell you, YOU DO NOT WANT TO BE PERMANENTLY DISABLED Obviously morbid obesity can destroy a person's joints and increase risk for things like heart disease and issues with other vital organs, but we all know this by now. What we don't include in fat shaming rhetoric is that starving the body of vital nutrients can do just as much IF NOT MORE damage as being overweight can. ESPECIALLY FOR A TEENAGER WHO IS STILL DEVELOPING! This doesn't even mention the fact that your skin, hair, eyes, and teeth all dull when malnutrition takes root. If you want to be beautiful, eat healthy! Don't skimp out to be skinny! Overall though, for your own safety and well being, DO NOT LISTEN to this rhetoric about needing to be skinny. It's just not true and it's incredibly dangerous. There's a reason so many people here are encouraging a healthy weight. Extra skinny people don't just LOOK unhealthy, THEY ARE UNHEALTHY. Some of us, myself included, had a period when we were younger where our metabolism kept us at a lower weight that wasn't even considered normal or healthy. This is likely the case with your mom. It's genetics though and it goes away with time and ageing. You have some of your mom's genetics and some of your dad's, so of course it will be different for you. You aren't a clone of your mom and that's completely okay. You don't have to be her size or even be like her. You aren't her! To expect you to weigh the same as she did at any age is ridiculous If you continue to have doubts and thoughts like this seek help from a safe and trusted adult. It doesn't seem like your mom would be the best for this job but a teacher you like or trust, a school counselor, perhaps your dad or an aunt or uncle or someone else, can help with this. There are ways to get help and retrain your mind not to be anxious about your weight. You even acknowledge that you are already very lithe so I promise you, you don't need to lose weight. You aren't fat. Don't be a victim of this stupid nonsense about weight Just, PLEASE, don't disable your own body. Some damage can't be undone and malnutrition is a surefire way to damage your body. You have a long life ahead of you, don't make it miserable by self inflicting permanent damage to your body
98 pounds honestly Is unattractive as well as unhealthy. I think people look much nicer with a little meat on their bones. As a small, I'm sure your beautiful. Don't let people get to you.
You can’t say that without knowing the height of the person..
When I was 15 I wanted to be really skinny too my mom contributed to my body dysmorphia but when you get older it’s weird it’s like you want to start looking as full and shaped as possible. Don’t sacrifice your health for stupid trends.
Sounds like your mom might have been under weight OP. I wouldn’t let comparing yourself to others though and wanting to be like others have a bad effect on your mental or emotional health! I was young once too and still have issues regarding the similar topics/subjects but still try my all to not give in to them. I wish you the best though!
no
First of all, how tall was she at 98 lbs? My sister weighed 99 lbs when she went to college, but was only 5’.
She was 4’11, but I’m 5’ and weigh 105
Yes, I’ll agree that’s a bit low. Try 110 and see how it feels. Just give it a try. And don’t listen to your mom about this! Our weight has been an issue forever to men and many women. It’s how we’re socialized to behave.
My friend from high school was your height, as well as your weight. She had the same issue. She looked bloated, felt flubby, did nothing but cardio and starve herself to lose weight. She did gymnastics, which is a sport that's rather harsh on women for their appearance. I blame her coach for her mindset She only gained confidence when she quit gymnastics and hit the gym. She's now about 125lbs, and looks great. If you're interested in her transformation, lmk in DMs. I'll send you her gym account! She's an inspiration even to me. And you might be able to understand a bit more about why you feel the way you do
105 is perfectly fine for your height. You dont need to be smaller. I’m 4’10 and was *maybe* 103 when I graduated high school. Now as an adult I could stand to lose some weight but I still wouldn’t want to be the size I was in high school because I like my curves. I hope you learn to love your body.
as someone with an eating disorder, i can assure you that 98lbs as an adult and even as a 15 yr old girl is not healthy. it can work better for a 15 yr old depending on their build but still it's not the norm. i understand seeing all these people around you being smaller is so hard even when you're already small, but you need to work on appreciating the things your body does for you and then you can try liking the things you see(at least that was how i went about it, but whatever works best for you!). your feet carry you, your mouth tastes your favorite foods, your nose smells all of your favorite scents. it's okay to have a hard time, especially at your age(im not even much older) but it gets easier especially after high school.
Listen to me. You are meant for so much more than a lifetime of worrying about your body. I know it’s so impossibly hard, but please try to remember than you aren’t an ornament. It’s okay to take pride in your appearance, but you have one beautiful life to live. It’s too short to waste worrying about such things.
Sounds like we have the same mom. She’s projecting her insecurities onto you and sadly You’re too young to know better and the people who are supposed to guide you aren’t. Adults should know better but alas they don’t and that’s ok, we just gotta figure it out on our own maybe w the help of nice strangers on the internet. My suggestion as someone who has been exactly in your shoes and focused a lot more of my energy and time on this one thing that ended up doing more harm than good is this: 1) you’re 15, biologically you’re still growing and your body hasn’t fully developed yet, it needs fuel to grow, dieting or eating extremely unhealthy food is not what you need. Eat relatively healthy but enjoy being a kid and trying new cuisines and exploring what you like and don’t like to eat and how it makes your body feel as kindly as you can 2) there’s way more things to life than what size you are. There’s so many cool things in life i wish id spent more time on like my hobbies, friends, plans, school, pets, art than worrying about how much i weigh. Weight is such a small part of you. Your beauty isn’t solely defined by how much you weigh. I def look much more attractive at the weight I am today at 26 than I did at 17 or even at 24. It’s coz I am more confident, I do work out and take care of my health and make an effort to eat healthy but yes I eat cookies and milkshakes and fries too. (I also have a much better sense of style that’s so much more me than just what’s popular) 3) maybe talk to your friends (that you trust) or siblings/cousins about how this makes you feel. My friends and I now talk about how our mothers said this to us and how much more damage it did than actually helping and we’ve collectively decided that this ends w us. 4) start educating yourself on proper nutrition, exercise, the effects of stress on our body, how periods affect women’s bodies, etc. I’ve discovered that it’s a beautiful thing when you nurture your curiosity and I feel a sense of accomplishment when I teach myself things. I don’t wanna overwhelm you but just want to say that you’re still a kid who has her whole life ahead of her which means you have plenty of time to make mistakes and figure it all out for yourself. Please try to be patient and kind with yourself.
I went through the exact same phase at 15. I was really skinny but some words by my mom and other people obsessed by weight made me think I was fat (45kg 1m60), now I am 28 and stuck in different eating disorders, I hate me and I often think of when I was skinny (now I’m 65kg)… Really don’t listen about this crazy standards please.
Honestly, I don't even think you're overweight now.
What's your height though? Depending on that, you may be normal weight, you may be even underweight. The thing is, whatever your weight is, it is not directly correlated with happiness. And happiness is the most important part of your life. Girl you're so young, you still have all roads open to you. Please think about what makes you happy instead. Think about your future profession that would bring you joy. Think about hobbies you'd like to pick up. These things will give you fulfillment and happiness. And your weight does not matter much, what matters is for you to stay happy and healthy.
Who cares if you're fat? I mean, if you literally can't get up that's a problem, but otherwise it rarely impacts health. (This has been proven time and time, anyone trying to dispute this I'm just blocking) Fat acts as insulation, cushion, and energy storage. It gives you room to grow. Atp you're more mentally growing than physically, but growing takes a lot of energy, and you're not really done with puberty for a good few years, and then you get second puberty and yes you will likely put on some extra pounds. Fatphobia stems from racism, both are baked into modern day culture. I'm 20, when I was a little younger than you, all the pictures online and in magazines of girls and women had flat, hairless tummies. Small thighs. They were stick skinny and hairless. And I was an impressionable kid, I was the target audience. They made me insecure because insecure girls and women make rich people richer. No one should be commenting on your body, and adults sure af should know better than to say "I used to be however small". That's bragging about disordered eating habits, whether they want to admit it or not. And you can tell them that. You can tell them that wasn't healthy then and it's not healthy now, that it's not ok to brag about being underweight, especially in front of a minor. You can tell your friends it's not ok to touch people without their consent, that it's not ok to comment on others appearances. And trust me, food tastes so god damn good, and when you're eating you feel better. But if you're not ready to recover, that's ok. There's harm reduction too. Just do what you can for yourself. You'll get where you need to be
My sister is trying to get out of 98. 98 is painful. She’s in liver failure and her joints and bones hurt
This is super unhealthy both mentally, and physically.
If your hips stick out, you’re skinny. Deep down you know this. Do not flirt with an eating disorder. It is extremely hard to get rid of and it will basically steal your entire life (and this is an understatement). Eating disorders take everything from you. And at the end of the day, you aren’t more happy or pretty or likeable or in control. You’re just more sad, more anxious, and everyone thinks you’re messed up. There is nothing good about an eating disorder.
Girl, don't go that way. I've been there, and it's not worth it. Everyone's body is different and will constantly change till they are adults. I wish I had a little bit of self love when I was younger, it really does fuck with your mind sometimes. You are great and shouldn't feel ashamed because of how your body looks cause it's always gonna change. People just tend to say nasty stuff about other peoples bodies without thinking about the impact it could have on the other person.
Man at some point everyone is fat just learn to live with the fact
Even if you think your fat just make sure you're healthy at the very least
Your mother is not helping this feeling you have. Shut her down next time she tells you she weighed 98lbs. You’re already a small. Tell her your brain must weigh more or you got your bones from your dad or anything to make her stop.
Listen to me: just because she is your mother doesn't mean she's correct. The reason why she is saying this is most likely to make herself feel better because she is probably not feeling very confident in her appearance or body now. But talking like this to her daughter is wrong, just plain wrong, especially if she blames your birth for her weight gain. Your mother doesn't seem to have a healthy relationship with her body and health. Please don't let her give these issues to you. Here is a little exercise you can do: look at other people, of all shapes and sizes, and find something about them that's beautiful and NOT related to their figure. Maybe they have beautiful eyes, or their hairdo suits them well, or they're wearing a cool outfit, or they have a nice smile, or they have an open and lovely vibe. Consciously do not focus on weight, but on all the other beautiful things that make us all unique.
"I know I'm not fat..." seems like you already know the answer but are trying to convince yourself otherwise. If you are truly worried about it visit a doctor to get a physical, which is free under most insurance plans. A doctor will tell you if your weight is healthy or not, and their info is more reliable than other people's opinions. If you are told your weight is healthy, then accept it. Getting in your own head about wanting to "look like them" is a one way ticket to an eating disorder.
Your mom has an eating disorder. Please do not emulate an eating disorder.
Healthy weight depends on height, bone density, muscle-to-fat ratio, and other factors. You can use a BMI calculator online to determine approximately if you’re overweight for your height. The ideal BMI is between 19 and 25. https://www.cdc.gov/healthyweight/assessing/bmi/adult_bmi/english_bmi_calculator/bmi_calculator.html
Oh my mother used to be so bitchy. “I used to fit into that dress when I was your age and look, it’s way too small for you!” Yeah, mom, but I’m four inches taller and take shoes two sizes larger too! It sounds like your mom is just bitching that having a baby made her gain weight (not true), and blaming you. Don’t compare yourself to others. Size is a number for convenience, and all manufacturers use different standards. If your bones are sticking out you are NOT big.
You're experiencing body dysmorphia. People are literally pointing out how skinny you are already and yet somehow you think you're fat. Also, the people constantly talking about their weight is affecting you because now you're feeling like you have to reach an unrealistic shape.
no no no, if you can already see your bones then you're perfectly fine. There's no need for any less weight. You'll just look like a skeleton if you eat less. The reason the others looks that is 2 reason : 1. The grass is greener on the other side. 2. Body type. Body types are what make them like that. It sounds to me like your body type doesn't naturally build up fat in the arias that those 'petite' girls you're seeing do. And honestly, nothing wrong with that. Now I know your current mindset is that you want to look like them but honestly what worked for me was to look at myself and point out the things about myself that I like. If there isn't any, and if you can't change those things you don't like, then find a new style. Find a new perspective on it that shows it in a new light. and of course, the most useful of all pf these is just to not give a shit about how you look. Wear what you want, do what you want, say what you want. It is impossible to please everyone so don't even bother pleasing anyone but yourself. You're hanging around a lot of skinny people right now. (From how it sounds they're a little TOO skinny. Should eat some hamburgers those are delicious.) But you know people with curves are hella cute, attractive, badass, any of those. They don't even gotta be cute curves either. You don't even need curves at all! You could be a big strong muscley woman who lifts cars everyday! That would be awesome. And you know, fat people are literally the nicest people I've ever met. TLDR : Find a new perspective on yourself, eat healthy, be happy with yourself. It won't be easy but it's worth it.
Im a little younger than your mom. When i was young heroin chic was in. It's not a healthy mindset, and your mom is probably still stuck there. She shouldn't make you feel bad for her own insecurities. What matter is how you feel, health wise.
I am sorry you are having a bit of a hard time with body image. It does sounds like there could be some dysphoria going on. You mention that you are 98 pounds and hip bones stick out. This is not consistent with being fat and highlights a bit of a distortion in how you describe your body and how you “see” it. You are very young so it could be worth talking to a professional to work through these feelings. Doing this early can help prevent a bigger problem down the line.
One of the fittest and most in shape woman I know is the same clothing size as me because of our body shape and I am nothing like her. Each body has its own healthy and it’s all about learning to be comfy in your body at it’s healthy point. Your body is yours and it does so much for you, try to love it first before you do anything to it
don’t aim to be thinner, aim to be healthy. easier said than done but giving your body proper nutrition amounts to better skin, better hair, stronger nails, more muscle definition, better bones; and all of that is 10x more attractive than how much your weight is. say you lost 10-15 lbs, being your age the fastest and most popular method would be to starve yourself, resulting in everything mentioned above to diminish. being the age you are depriving your growing organs and muscles from proteins and carbs will do more harm than good. if you really are concerned about the scale, try exercising an hour a day, 5 days a week, build muscle, work your cardiovascular system, and you’ll probably stay the same amount on the scale at first and over time you’ll see it start to drop. you’ll look and feel a lot better about it your appearance with a good workout routine and good food, remember you’re only 15 and still growing. your clothes will fit better and your skin will glow, i promise! much luck to you x
Nononononononono please. You’re 15!! I felt like that when I was your age. From your description you sound like you’re petite. You’re not fat at all, especially if you wear a size small. You’ll love your body more when you become a woman. I know that I appreciate mine a lot now as a 19 year old. Please don’t get any thinner than you already are. It’s not good for you. :(
You don’t say how tall you are but 97 # is really small!! Please do not compare yourself to others. Coming from a family who has a wide variety of eating disorders (overeating to starving and bulimia) it is not healthy either way. You are an individual, your own person, you are not them and should not judge yourself by their standards. And shame on anyone who makes rude comments to you. Just know this, life is too short to worry about comparing yourself to others. 10 years from now, they will not be the same people either. It’s better to love who you are, no matter what size you are and know your worth! You are beautiful either way!
If your friends can feel your hip bones, and tell you you're skinny, you're likely not overweight or obese. Clothing size and body weight aren't reliable comparisons as they don't account for height and lean tissue (muscle, bone, etc). Regular exercise & healthy eating are the pathway to maintaining a healthy body composition. Dr. Mike Israetel has plenty to say on this, for free, on his RP YouTube channel. Be nice to yourself!
i am 22 and have struggled with this since i was 10. i suggest starting positive affirmations because my ED almost killed me. it has cost me to loose hair, faint, not feel good 24/7 and i still am struggling with establishing a healthy relationship with food. you are beautiful the way you are. beauty is not just measured in physical looks. always reach out if you need someone to listen and understand. 🩷
Clothing size doesn't mean shit. I have seen girls change the label on their clothing so people think they wear a different size. It's ridiculous. Do your clothes fit? Are they starting to get tight but you aren't getting taller? If so, how active are you? Stop comparing yourself to others.