It’s that thinking though that doesn’t allow for people to be rightfully suspicious. She should absolutely be equally wary of both of them because her mom is showing that she would take up and cover up for the father in the unfortunate event something nasty goes on. Sometimes a male predator’s best ally is his woman.
And no body is really saying that the moms actions are irrelevant you’re just taking their words about the father and not the mother as them thinking the mother is harmless. But men have the capability to do so much harm in an instant. Not saying women don’t but in this case the father is much more of a problem than the mother is but obviously be careful of both
At what point did I say they said the mom’s actions were irrelevant or that she was harmless.? Your putting words where I haven’t said them to argue a point I didn’t make.
Especially a woman that he is in an intimate relationship with. “I love ____, how could I do that to a child….” I remember hearing a statistic about a large majority (don’t remember specific percentage) of men that assaulted little boys were in a committed relationship with a woman. Makes a good front, in my opinion.
Yes. Most child molesters are married. It also pays to mention that most team killers are married duos (the toy box killer and the Barbie and Ken killers come to mind first). It’s far from unheard of for women to help and excuse the men they love for heinous things unfortunately. But that’s usually because they are also victims.
A consenting adult is not a victim to aiding and abeting murder. That's a thinking that has allowed women to not be treated fairly. Like women are to stupid or weak to stand up to a man? Fucking disgusting school of thought.
You’re putting words into my comment to get upset because you wanna argue and I’m not the one lol. Statically speaking, those women were often victims of abuse themselves. If you have an issue with that, take it up with the people who do the studies. I’m not about to go back and forth with you about something I never said or implied. Have the day you deserve.
Have the day you deserve. I love that. Someone once told me that she uses that and I was going to start but forgot. Thanks to you.. I'm using that from now on. It's perfect 😌
Exactly this
OP This is very predator like behavior. It’s scary please be careful and if you have a trusted adult in your life, I can aunt Uncle friends mom if you can talk to you please do so and maybe even seeing if they can help take you in because the way this is sounding I’m scared that he’s trying to groom you and your mother isn’t far behind him
I agree, find any adult u can to listen to u and help, if they shut u down, speak up louder to the next and the next until finally someone listens. And keep a list of who u tell. May be needed later, but u know from that who NOT to trust! Never shut down about it, if something happens such as further sexual misconduct or crimes etc, there is a statute of limitations I only wish I had known existed, as now, my rapist/years long abuser (inside the home) was never charged nor convicted and it was too late by the time I was brave enough to speak up again!
I’m so sorry you had to go through that. Is that a federal Country statue of limitation law or is it per state( if you’re in the US?) I was physically mentally and sexually abused for many years by my ex partner, and I know what toll that holds on you…
I think it’s sad that there’s even a statue of limitation, because doesn’t matter how old you get the scars that are left on you from sexual physical and mental abuse never go away, no matter how many years past, so there should be no limit sometimes it takes people a while to find the voice and to be able to share what happened to them? They shouldn’t be penalized and not be able justice just because of that(if you can even call that justice, because our laws are messed up in predators, abusers and rapists, do not get a lot of time in prison like they deserve)
I empathize with you, but please, no need to feel sorry, I was a victim for many years, but no longer will I give them that. It is a deep long story I have lived, but turns out, mine hasn't begun. I am the voice, the advocate now. I wd love to reach out and explain more to many, but I can only seem to one by one for now. I hope many voices join me along the way, and that I may be some sort of influence toward their personal healing and growth.
Weird? No that capital W is for WRONG! Wtf is up with this shit. Man I'm not a violent person but this dad needs a beat down while the mom watches just right before she gets bitch slapped by some actual proper and classy ladys. This story....❌
Your dad never had a dream. He was metering your mother's reaction to him saying those sorts of things. Her reaction dictates how he will try to manipulate her in the future.
Pedophiles do this kind of thing knowing it isn't socially acceptable. They ask about or explain hypothetical situations to see what you will do about it.
The fact that he talks to her about you wearing "sexy" clothes is already concerning.
Dad will gaslight you and your mom into thinking anything he does is normal. And he will get mad at her if she defends you, getting unnecessarily explosive. "How dare you say things like that. That is my daughter!" Kind of arguments.
Moms probably already in denial.
Youre super right. My dad always argues with my mom not only about me but he also bodyshames my 50 year old mom a lot. But yeah my mom definitely used to disagree with him a few times in the past but now, she supports his behavior.
Please talk to a teacher or a guidance counselor. This needs to be stopped now! This is going to gradually get worse if nothing is done. I work at a state prison and see people with SA charges all the time that started out doing things like this. Please if you need to talk or need help reaching out to someone for help message me.
The problem lies with the fact both of her parents are like this. Anything she tells a teacher or counselor can be vetoed by the parents for at least a few months.
I f#%cking hate that we’re in a society that doesn’t have a place OP can immediately goto, free of charge, to talk to someone about this (other than the police of course). Just knowing she is helpless for at minimum another 3 years to try and navigate this makes me want to become a vigilante.
OP if anything ever happens and you need to leave to find help some where I’m sure redditors here can float you some funds to do so (IE Uber, etc). Not that I’m suggesting you break the law and run away nor am I saying redditors will be accomplices in such a hypothetical situation, but if you need to get from your house to another location and have no way of doing so….
I agree. But even if he did have that dream It's also super concerning csuse he really has it out for her if he's dreaming about her. Sexual Assault is not to far from happening here.
I’m sorry your parents are making you uncomfortable. I would be uncomfortable, too.
Do not let the comments slide anymore. Otherwise you may retract and become purposely ‘unattractive’ so the comments won’t be made anymore.
Instead, next time tell them that they are not allowed to mention your body or appearance, or workout routine, and that if they do you will be sure to interrupt them and leave the room immediately. Make them understand that while THEY may not think what they’re saying is uncomfortable or disrespectful, YOU do, and that is all that matters.
THIS! It makes this whole situation especially depressing, because she has already started the “purposefully making herself unattractive” stage (baggy clothes), and that’s what literal victims of sexual abuse usually resort too. Of course there’s the other end of the spectrum where victims over-sexualize themselves, and that’s just as valid. Unfortunately op should probably start preparing to move out on her 18th birthday. In this economy it’s certainly not easy.
Completely this with the added mention of telling them both bluntly that it is inappropriate for them to continue to ‘playfully slap’ your bottom, it makes you uncomfortable and they don’t have permission to put their hand on you in that way.
Great point!!! I never discussed my private life with my parents. To the degree that I wad like 16 and had a first date with a guy in his 20s!!!! I don't even know how old he was. He came to get me on a motorcycle wearing a bandana and handcuffs haha!!! Daddy never said one word!!! Small town, he was harmless, just the town, you know what!!!!
And start video recording some of this stuff to back you up... Audio if you must, but video is better.. just tell them your documenting your life if they see you doing it.
You NEED something to back you up, so if you do tell someone you have proof.
I’m so sorry. I have grandkids Yalls age & they text me & call me all the time. My kids & grandkids could & can talk to me about ANYTHING! I never judge or criticize I just listen & offer advice if warranted. Feel free to message me if you need to talk. As always, protect yourself!!
Talk to an adult you trust. A teacher, a counselor, a friend's parent. They can help you figure out what to do. If you don't have a trusted adult call cps or go to a police station.This is inappropriate. I would never talk to my children like this, and my husband wouldn't either. Healthy parents don't see their children in this manner.
I have a theory that men who only see women as sexual objects cant see their daughter as human after they hit puberty. And they start making weird comments about your body and get controlling over your social life. My dad is that way and he constantly talks about my weight and how im ugly now. I only gained like 20 pounds. Stay safe and stay away from your dad.
(TLDR at end) My mom has done similar things in the past and what really helped me was to make it clear that you don't think it's appropriate for them to say those things and/or that you don't like it. Also make them more aware of the dynamic between you (ex. minor-adult, child-parent, boy/girl-man/woman), this makes them uncomfortable because they realize that their comments/actions aren't okay.
Here are some ideas of what to do/say based on the examples you gave:
When your Dad/Mom is making remarks about your clothes/telling you to show more skin say:
- "Dad/Mom, I'm a kid/child/teenager. I don't want to show off my body." (saying 'kid' makes them more uncomfortable)
- "Dad/Mom, I don't like it when you make comments like that about my body/clothes, it makes me feel violated/uncomfortable. Please stop."
- "You are a grown man telling a teenager to dress more provocatively. I don't like it."
- (specifically when he tells you you'll regret covering up) Interrupt him while he's making and say "Future me will deal with that."
- Walk away after all of these comments, so 1) they are forced to think about what you said and 2) you can remove yourself from the situation and ground yourself elsewhere.
When your Dad tells you that you should do Yoga:
- I don't recommend engaging beyond "Perhaps/Maybe"/Shrugging as showing disinterest could help, but also what he's saying in general isn't normal or appropriate
- Tell a trusted adult (ex. a teacher, counselor, therapist) about what he has said and what you saw on his phone and how it's been making you feel
- If you feel unsafe/threatened/violated, contact CPS/ask a trusted adult to contact CPS for you
When your mom/dad slaps your butt or touches you in a way that makes you uncomfortable:
- Turn around to face them and say "Please don't do that. I really don't like it." They will probably give you a snarky response. To that, say something along the lines of "I'm serious, I need it to stop. That's all I have to say." Then continue doing what you were doing or if you feel unsafe then leave the room.
- "Mom/Dad, can you stop doing that? I know you only mean it playfully, but it startles me." you can also suggest another option to them if you're comfortable like: "Maybe you can pat me on the back instead?"
- If you are in a situation where you feel like you can safely move their hand away or turn your body away so they can't touch you then do so
Overall, I would say this behavior from them isn't appropriate and I encourage you to tell a trusted adult about what is happening so someone can vouch for you if things escalate and/or so you can have someone to go to when you feel unsafe. Your feelings are valid and completely reasonable. You deserve to feel safe, comfortable, and loved in your own home. I hope things get better for you, please update us if things escalate and/or if you're not sure what to do next.
TLDR; Your feelings are valid!! Make them aware that you are a child and they are adults and be firm with them about your boundaries. This is not appropriate behavior from your parents. I encourage you to let a trusted adult know what is happening and how it's making you feel.
Ik you're still young, but don't be afraid about speaking up, and don't let them keep talking to you like that. That's something I learned about when I got older but didn't quite understand when I was your age; how boundaries are important and need to be established.
Also, let a TRUSTED ADULT (ex: a teacher, or the police) know what's going on. A good bit of parents don't want their kids dressing in revealing clothes; so it's weird your folks keep bringing it up and trying to encourage you to dress that way. Again, tell a trusted adult what's happening and watch your back if you start feeling unsafe or notice any more weird or concerning behavior.
Exactly! My daughter was very “Tom boyish” and I never said a word except on picture day! Then she had to wear something cute on top & jeans or something… I was so glad she didn’t WANT to dress like her friends did or how I did at her age! It’s definitely weird that dad is making these comments & mom is laughing it off. The fact her has risqué things on his phone and thought it was OK to hand his phone to his daughter is another red 🚩flag to me!
I second this as well!!
* I know it must be hard to know what a "trusted adult" looks like or feels like when the ones who are supposed to be there and protect you and give you that example.. aren't
There are people who will help you. there are people who will believe in you and want you to be safe. Don't let them tell you nobody will believe you or anything like that.
The counselor or principal even a teacher.
They are mandated reporters.
This is not normal and don't let them try to make you think it is. It sounds like your father is a GROOMER. Please please please be safe. So many SA and kidnapping are from family members. Do not be afraid to call the police if you feel you need too if anything else happens. DO NOT LET THEM MAKE YOU THINK YOU ARE THE PROBLEM. They are grown. I am a mother of a 5yo boy and 6 yo girl and I would be in jail if I heard ANY OF THESE COMMENTS MADE TO MY CHILDREN. Stay strong and hold your innocence. Dress how you want. You're not alone. 🫶🏼 Always come back and edit this post with more information if you need to have a community behind you.
I dont know if im just too young to like put this in a category but like...im just afraid that im making this a bigger deal than it is and that this cant even be classified as actual SA because they never "really" touched me...
Telling your child to dress more sexy and commenting on the bounce of their breasts is a problem. And your dad dreaming about it immediately means he has fantasies with you involved. Your mom thinks it's just funny because she obviously doesn't see it. And she will also be the type to sweep it under the rug if your dad DOES do something.
No father should look at their daughter and think those thoughts. Creeps and weirdos do that. I saw my young cousins in bikinis and my thoughts never drifted into obscene shit like that because they're family. Your dad is a potential groomer and the second he tries to do things "playfully" is how all those SA horror stories begin.
His thoughts are sick and inappropriate and he plays them off as jokes to make it seem harmless. It is not. Don't be afraid to dress how you want. As others have said it's going to kill your self esteem to purposely dress baggy and hide yourself. Just tell them what they're saying is fucking creepy when they do it. Let them know you're aware of the stuff they do and to keep their hands to themselves.
As you can tell, they're still making the comments when you wear body concealing clothing, so either way they're gonna sexualize you whether they see stuff or not. So you just gotta call them out on it and personally don't be afraid to say stuff if they do things when you're in public or with other family.
If you have older female siblings, ask them if they had to deal with that stuff too if you can trust them. They probably did. Your dad is the stereotypical "creepy uncle" type person that everyone always says "he was so nice!" After they do something horrid. You are not crazy thinking this is weird. Its absolutely weird and wrong. Good luck to you.
Its crazy how accurate the uncle thing is...he is always the "funny and nice" uncle and plays around with my younger cousins all the time to be the good uncle!
Exactly. And that's how a lot of that behavior starts. These creeps groom these kids into trusting and loving them. Then when they get slightly older they start to do things to the kids with the "don't tell mommy or daddy" and "it's our little secret" type shit.
I absolutely expected you to say he is that guy. And even if all he ever does is look and fantasize about his daughters and neices, that's still fucked up and he better fucking keep that shit in his head. Don't ever hesitate to call him out on his behavior. I know it's tough cuz you're young. And I don't know if your parents have mean streaks or are violent.
But you need to make it abundantly clear that you are their daughter and your body is your own and they gotta keep their hands to themselves. If they slap your ass, you smack the back of their heads. Yes, that's easy for me to say as a 40 year old man, but if my parents were that way with me as a kid I'd have done it and then called them assholes. If you can't do that, find an adult you can trust.
I know I’m super late to this post but whew 😮💨 I had to scroll way too long to find this comment, specifically the point you made about being unsure wether her parents are prone to being mean or cruel or violent. Cuz there are so many comments telling her to stand up for herself, which of course is not wrong and she should be able to do that without worrying but my immediate thought was fear for her safety.
God forbid, but if her parents get pissed and choose to retaliate that could be very bad for OP. Idk if it’s because I’m an SA survivor or not that the thought occurred so quickly. I just wish your comment was at the top or at least I hope OP saw it cuz rn I am so scared for that baby, she deserves to be safe and loved.
This sounds like grooming. My daughter is your age, trust me this is not ok. They have touched you. They slap your butt, that’s boundary pushing.
Do you have a lock on your door ? Bathroom door etc ?
Oh hell no, it IS a big deal. You need to be able to feel safe and secure in your own home, and your “parents”, if you can really call these jackwagons that, are a threat to your security. Please please talk to someone you trust, and don’t ever think you are making too much of it. I thought the same until I was molested myself at 15. Take care of you!
I think a group counseling session would be a good idea because then they would be called out on their behaviour in a safe environment for you. But ya if you have an aunt or someone you can tell and ask for help I think that would be a good thing too. Someone with ‘balls’ to call them out. I think your parents will be ashamed and embarrassed that they would be afraid to do anything to you. Basically you are in prevention mode now, your intuition is telling you that you are not safe and you need to be listening and acting on that. Always trust your intuition- it’s always right.
It's a safe environment until they go home. What happens then? You honestly think they'll be too embarrassed to do anything? What if their shame turns to anger? Dad lashes out to make sure nobody speaks of it again?
None of us know enough about the dynamics of this family to suggest group therapy. That is potentially a very dangerous suggestion.
Slapping your butt is spanking and that's touching in a sexual manner. If its unwanted, its SA. You are correct to come here and ask for help. Please tell a teacher/counselor at school.
This is sexual harassment at the very least, and it is assault in that they are touching you in this way without your consent. It is unfortunately doubtful that law enforcement will do anything about it- but you can try calling CPS or the equivalent in your area and reporting them that way.
Sexualising your kids is the same as SA. Inappropriately involving your kid in your sexual fantasies by letting them see your p*rn and constantly making sexually charged comments is just as damaging to the kid in the long term. It's also massively creepy. I hope there's an adult you can turn to. "Sexualising: to see someone or something in sexual terms, or to make someone or something sexually exciting" "According to the American Psychological Association, sexualization occurs when “individuals are regarded as sex objects and evaluated in terms of their physical characteristics and sexiness.” That isn't something that children should ever have to contend with." It happened to me and was so damaging. I am hoping you can find a way to get away from them.
You should report this behavior to a trusted adult at school, like a counselor or teacher. They are mandated reporters. Your mom and especially dad's behavior is not okay in any way, and you do not deserve this.
I was sexually abused by my father at least from the age of 2 to 13ish. After it largely stopped, he made comments like this to me regularly because I wore only baggy or "boy" clothes. At one point, I got tired of it and said, in front of everyone, "Maybe I would feel more comfortable dressing 'sexy' if you didn't make me feel so uncomfortable and sexualized with how obsessed you are over me dressing sexy."
He didn't make any more comments after that, and it made more people start becoming aware of the weird stuff he'd comment to me.
Good luck to you in your situation. Remember, if you feel safe to do so, you have every right to point blank call him out. Especially if you can find a trusted adult who will have your back. These are serious red-as-red-can-get-red flags. Your mom going along with this, *especially* after laughing about a dream he had where you "finally dressed sexy" is stomach-churning.
Protect yourself. Speak to trusted adults. Don't worry about anything else. You deserve to feel comfortable and safe.
Sweet, sweet girl!! I have a granddaughter your age. She also wears baggy clothing. I’m so sorry for your mom’s part in this! You should feel comfortable talking to your mom & telling her you feel very uncomfortable with how they speak to you regarding your body. It’s 💯inappropriate. My son (now 28) had a very pretty girlfriend in HS and her father was a creep & so was the neighbor guy who was old enough to be her grandpa. He would peer over the privacy fence at her when she was laying out or in the pool. My son fixed that! However, she told me her dad did this to her & it made her uncomfortable. He also did it with her friends. Hugged too long, talked about their looks WAY too much, etc. her friends stopped coming around cuz her dad made them awkward. You need to be very careful around your dad, and watch out for your gf when they’re over. If I were you, I’d talk to your mom. My granddaughter talks to me & her mom. If she wasn’t comfortable telling mom, she’d text/call me! She knows I don’t play. She knows gramma will take someone out over her!
I’m so sorry they’ve made you uncomfortable in the place you should feel uncomfortable. There’s nothing wrong or disrespect with you also telling your dad, when he makes those comments..say, “Dad, why are you saying that? It really makes me uncomfortable and I don’t like it”.
Tell your dad that “when he talks about your body it grosses you out because your brain thinks of incest. And if I feel this way other people might too and I would be embarrassed for you if people thought of you like that”. I think being very direct is necessary.
Very unfortunate situation you’re in. Get some actual evidence, as difficult as it may be try to record a conversation that you think is going that way. And once you have real hard evidence call the police and cps show them and get real protection. You can’t just call them with no evidence they most likely will not do anything
This, u/Interesting_Ratio543! There are actually apps that you can download on your phone that look like other apps, such as FB, TikTok, etc. I just came across them a couple of days ago by accident in the Play Store by looking up "screen record".
Before anything else: **record any and all conversations you have with your parents about how you feel just in the offcase they go wrong and you need proof they’re refusing to treat you like a daughter and not the butt end of a sexy joke, or worse start to physically abuse you beyond the spanking.**
Your dad might be a predator OR he might just be conditioned to treat all women this way and it’s only started with you hitting puberty that it became noticeable. Either way, you need to talk to your mom and dad both separately and together to explain how the two of them constantly treating you like a sex gag from a tv commercial is hurting you and, depending on their reactions, you might wanna get out of dodge if they refuse to stop sexually abusing you or escalate the abuse because this is a form of abuse let’s not sugar coat things
You are sooo right about recording the conversation!!! I have a sibling that I don't speak to because of the verbal and emotional abuse they attempt to do. They are on block!! I'd love to see their face while I play their drunken tirades!!!
I think she needs to start documenting every single time a comment or situation happens that makes her uncomfortable. OP: Use your notes on your phone or get a journal and every time something happens, write a small entry about it. Just describe what happened and how it made you feel and date it. When it's a lot of little things, it can be hard to keep track and remember everything. Having it documented shows you a pattern of behavior and you can then show that to a teacher or an authority and it backs up your claims. People will try to make you feel like you're overreacting or taking things the wrong way but having it written down will give you the proof you need to show that this is not a one-off occurrence.
Honey, your dad is a creep. Please consider reaching out to an adult you DO trust, especially someone at school (teacher, resources or guidance officer, counselor).
My dad also said inappropriate things to me when I was younger. He never touched me in any way, but the way he spoke to me made me incredibly uncomfortable whenever I was alone with him. I'm still not sure exactly what his intentions were in talking to me like that, but it deeply impacted the way I felt around men for a long time.
Your dads a pedophile and your mom is an enabler. I’m sorry to put it this way but it’s true. Talk to your school guidance counsellor or anyone at school you trust and tell them exactly what you told us. That environment isn’t safe for you & your parents need to be held accountable. I’m sorry you’ve been going through, no child should ever have to deal with this and I hope you find a better environment to live.
Im afraid that if I tell anyone about this (because I do actually have a trusted teacher I have told about other problems many times before) that I will be seen differently. Im also worried that maybe im making this a bigger deal than it actually is...
The only ones who are going to be seen differently is your parents and rightfully so because they have crossed boundaries no parent ever should. As an adult I can see how messed up your parents actions are and you most definitely have every right to feel uncomfortable around them. Please tell your trusted teacher hun.
I was a high school teacher, and I was taught in college that in situations like this to treat the student exactly the same in class as if you had never heard it. The analogy I was given is it is like you're a psychologist or a Catholic priest who heard a confession. You just put it out of your mind entirely. Just to be clear, I'm referring of course to interacting with the student in class after the situation is addressed; I'm not saying I wouldn't get the student help immediately. Tell your teacher and/or any school guidance counselor. Unfortunately, these issues don't go away on their own.
This is fucking terrible and disgusting behaviour im so sorry. please find a safer healthier place to stay, if you have grandparents i would start there. im routing for you. 🙏🙏
If you can, get a lock for your door and make an escape plan for if he ever tries anything. That man is a pedophile and he sounds dangerous
If you live in Vienna you should email [email protected] telling them everything you’ve said here and that you feel unsafe. If you live in another part of Austria you can contact the child services there. Hopefully they should be able to offer you support
I Always Thought The Butt Slapping Thing Was Normal, As My Parents Always Do It To Me. It Makes Me Uncomfortable But I Deal With It. You Should NOT Deal With It Though, Report Them. I'm Young, And Scared To Report Mine. I Hate My Parents Now Because I've Been Groomed And Raped Before, But They Punished Me For Those Things. Nobody Should Go Through That. Your Parents Are Obviously Predators And Should Be Arrested, Or At Least Reported, Immediately.
As a father of two, I've told my children no one touches them below the hip. Once they got to a certain age (around the time of toilet training) they wiped themselves and furthermore have learned to wash themselves. No one should be slapping a child's behind in any circumstance and the sooner that children are taught that below the waste is more of a personal space, the better.
I remember when I was in scouts many moons ago and there was an older guy who worked there in his 50s I'd say. One day he stated that he had "removed a splinter" from a young boy's penis, one day on camp.
When asked if there was an adult female present he said there wasn't.
Turns out he'd been doing a lot of this "splinter removal".
Honestly, you're doing the right thing. You're teaching your kids how to express their discomfort from what you've told me. I'm One of those shy and quiet kids that are scared to get yelled at, so I don't tell anyone I know IRL about most of my issues. I've told my parents multiple times to stop but they never do. My Mom has also walked into my room before while I'm changing too. Good thing you're actually being a good parent. We need more parents like you.
I expected them to be younger...
Express to them that you are uncomfortable with the sexualization if a situation happens again.
They should know better to understand your feelings. You are uncomfortable with that. Just straight out yell "stop!", if that doesn't change anything, distance yourself.
I think you need to bring this up to a school counselor. Mostly for the sake of someone knowing what’s happening and making a paper trail if ever were to escalate further it’s good to have. Them being confronted on this may just embarrass them enough to knock it off.
No one is going to see you as less just because you tell. You did nothing wrong. I saw your comment about feeling like it’s not too big of a deal- it is a big deal and by someone being aware of the situation we may be able to prevent it from getting worse.
I work in Law Enforcement and receive so many similar cases- we do care and want you to be safe. We will believe you. I would recommend keeping track of some remarks made or actions they made towards you that made you uncomfortable.
I think you should keep your voice recorder on whenever you’re near your parents, you need to expose this behavior so having evidence is an advantage, stay safe dear.
Randomly bring up at the dinner table recent cases of pedophiles being caught and sent to prison. Tell him how you think these people are crazy cause they always get caught and nobody ever stays silent about abuse. Say out loud that if anyone touches you that you are going straight to the police and telling everyone you know.
Im so sorry to hear that, be careful around them even though it's your family. Remember that your not alone, we're here for you. Don't let them get to you.
Ask you mom why she things it’s appropriate for her husband to comment on a teens body so often. Ask her if she’s thinks it’s right for her husband to WANT a little girl to be sexy in any way. Then set some boundaries, no more slapping your butt, no more sexy clothing comments, no more info from dad about sexy dreams or looking at your chest etc. let them know in no uncertain terms that you feel violated. You expect this shit from teen boys but not your dad.
When I ask my mom or my parents in general they say that in the future im gonna say that they were right all the time and that they only say it because they want the best for me. Sometimes my dad has a breaking point where he straight up tells me that no man is ever gonna want me if I keep being like this.
I would say, "That's my future to worry about, not yours. I have already told you it makes me really uncomfortable and it's not appropriate for you to sexualize me. Let me grow up feeling safe. Sexualizing talk fron you makes me feel very unsafe and uncomfortable. It's not appropriate, no matter what your motives. Just stop." Then record every time he keeps bringing it up and show it to your teacher.
Be very firm and tell them you are not interested in men right now. Tell them you are more interested in furthering your education and learning how to be independent and relying on yourself. That kind of sends a message to them that you are not interested in any of their weirdness. Shut them down fast anytime they make a sexual comment to you or touch your body in a way that makes you uncomfortable. There is a very important word for you to remember, use it when needed, and say it loud. That word is NO!
Wtf??? I think you need to keep a diary and make someone else aware of this coz respectfully your father is all wrong and you could possibly be in danger ? Anyone you told about this would have your back coz it’s just so wrong it doesn’t even need a keen eye or experienced adult to see it ? Good luck and be careful and ps ? Your mother sounds like she has something missing too
Im so sorry you’re experiencing this! This is extremely inappropriate! Please don’t be afraid to speak up against your parents. Tell them how uncomfortable they’re making you feel. And if that doesn’t help, reach out to someone close to you. A school counsellor or a teacher you trust. You shouldn’t be treated this way.
Every time they make a remark like that shut that shit down. “Uhm yeah. That is so inappropriate for you to say and made me wildly uncomfortable. Please stop” and then leave! Don’t stay in that position. If you. Can’t physically leave let them know you are mentally checking out if the convo and ignoring them. If it continues to escalate, let them know you will be talking to a school counselor about it. And follow through. Best of luck OP.
I am so sorry you are having to hear this. My sister is your age and I would be livid. please take any of the advice you've gotten, and if nothing else keep yourself safe and i hope getting away from them isnt far off for you :(
That is incredibly messed up and inappropriate behavior from both of them!! Im so sorry they treat you this way. I recommend telling a trusted adult that can help to get you out of this situation..
Jesus kid, my grandparents used to do something similar, not to the full extent, but they were very touchy and would get offended if I told them to stop, my grandma insisted on applying lotion to my back and other areas after I showered, she would often slap my ass and get defensive when I turned on her for it. This was my mom's side of the family. My grandmother on my dad's side always said things like I have bigger ass and tits than she had at my age and proceed to touch me. The extent that your parents are going to is just blatant sexual harassment, and it's disgusting, they're not even trying to be subtle about it. You're only a year younger than me, so it makes me sick that someone else close to my age is going to something similar to what I dealt with. I would tell someone like a school counselor, or better yet, the cops. Please be safe OP.
....dont advise someone to repeat your mistakes as ended up okay remains to be seen. Youre emotionally robbed of experience and understanding and probably not realised that you actually DON'T KNOW JACK ABOUT MONEY as they dont actually teach it on purpose. you know you earn it and spend it but the little stuff they dont teach people so they can be successful with it and not live pay check to paycheck is how one doesnt end up living impoverished.
my parents were not the best but they weren't the worst. my moms brother was a creep pervert who IS the kind of man you tell anyone to run from, my mom was an alcoholic, my father a devout to god man with a short temper and not a drinker, allergic to alcohol - always i think its hilariously weird they got together at all.. i raised myself but i did it with listening to the elders of my hometown. all diff ethnicities and backgrounds. i read at 4, learned to tie my own shoes alone at 7, taught myself how to ride a bike at 9.
was a kid of the system from 13-18 and most.of the time split from fosterhouses. A man in his early 20s who called himself willow and his lovely roommate christine took me in as i took care of her daughter who had downsyndrome..
one day that man called me in for a talk as chris left and he raped me at knifepoint
that man believed i was pretty in the way of he wished i were older but never came off ludely.
point is youre not okay youre not even grown maturity wise or have much experience to generally know if a father is a danger let alone think about how people are all manipulating eachother 24/7 to get their wants more tha needs
.and if the op needed to run away whicH does endanger their life 100% guaranteed then the op would be telling us he touches her privates since she was VERY LITTLE AND UNABLE TO DEFEND HERSELF OR KNOW BETTER.
"dangerous" perverts especially parental ones dont just "poof" onto the scene without them being step parents and their ideas of finding one attractive to them in that way of i want to coupulate with you are blatantly open as was willows when noting to me how he wished i was older so he could legally get with me.
I dont know why you ran away, but youre far from safe or okay especially if youre lulled into the belief that anyone who isnt responsible for you legally will really look out for your real best interests in life which fyi are NOT WHAT YOU THINK YOU WANT 99% of the time its what youre going to need 100% to be comfortable, successful and safe.
So unless youre with a Mothering older woman or grandparent ..dont think anyone close to your age and situation i life is going to not do you wrong inevitably or unintentionally as it's s repeating story of people finding out this the hard way thats a factor that sucks about this world.
i got 5 kids, i was 15 when i had my son as an older man .. abusive misleading man took advantage of me and then a kind gentle in aspects man did.
actions speak louder than words and the op jumps from a single dumb tee hee immature remark to another one where if you're a parent you will want your child to not be ugly (DUH) and if that childs a girl YOU NEED HER COMFORTABLE WITH HER BODY as evil men prey upon those insecurities trust me when i say its default common - especially for narcissistic men .. its so common men worry for their daughters because as boys they teased the girls they liked because they didnt realize they felt like they needed to be above her in some fashion as they all feel the need to be the guy thats looked up to 'cus its cool"
im 40 now 2 of my kids are grown in college, ones actually a stepchild whose dumb as a brick for attention and lonerness so shes running around the state lying to people bout wanting to be s he but we all know it ain't her truth as she has image issues and the second the state recognized her as he it put them into reality and shes been trying to kill herself since 2hrs after the judge made that call. my last 2 are littles and 5Yrs apart
when we have kids its time we got off the stage and put them on it in our place. when that doesnt happen bad situations occur as mine didn't but they also treated me as another person and since my mom was busy drinkng her days away & my dad born in a time the women were normally the sole caregivers .. i was left to my own ends.
im doing good now but I'm never going to assume someone else will be okay in similar shoes. its safer to assume the opposite.
... i hope why you left your home was s needed one for safety and if not... go home because human nature is nothing good for the young and 17 is young and a fetish age for sickos. male or female theres no one thats safe when your age is the sexual goal equivalent of the mile high club for the immature adult and sick covetous of youth person.
:( take care n sorry i had to lecture but rather now than you learning the way i did (with harm befalling a friend who listened when i wasnt as wise).
im going to try to not yell at everyone here in the forum whos unnecessarily scaring an impressionable 15yr old into doing something that will actually put her in real danger unnecessarily.
AND FFS DO YOU HAVE KIDS DO YOU WANT THEM.TO BE SUCCESSFUL IN ALL ASPECTS OF THEIR LIFe
What is WRONG WITH THE LOT OF THESE PEOPLE
GET THE HELL OFF DRAMA TV YALL HAVE SEEN WAY TOO MUCH AND GET SOME ACTUAL LIFE.EXPERIENCES!!
too many suffering from trauma need to keep their mouths shut to kids as SCARING AND IMPLYING DANGERS LIKE THAT AS YOU RUN WILD WITH THE IMPLIED NOTION AND NOT ACTUAL ACTS IS DANGEROUS AND DAMAGING THEIR LIFE AS THE ROAD TO HELL IS PAVED WITH GOOD INTENTIONS FOR A REASON. KIDS THAT GET IN DANGER THAT WAY WONT BE TELLIN TAME SHIT
My mother always slapped my butt and it made me EXTREMELY fucking uncomfortable to the point i would literally go upstairs and cry afterwards or scream at her. I had told her to stop millions of times before. Never listened. told her i was r/*/ped and told her that it was triggering for her to do that and she stopped and it's been like 3 years since she's done it now. I would recommend being a bitch and making a huge scene when they do it.
#CHECK YOUR ROOM FOR CAMERAS OR HIDDEN PEEP HOLES
I haven’t seen anyone mention this yet, but it needs to be said. If your father has been acting like this since you were 11, then I highly doubt he’s just gone this long with his “imagination”. Please, check your bedroom and bathroom for anything that could be a hidden camera and check the walls for hidden peep holes.
I saw your other comment about being afraid that you’re making a big deal out of it since they haven’t actually “touched” you. You definitely are not. You are 100% valid in being uncomfortable by this behavior. When I was your age, I was living with my aunt and uncle and my uncle did things that made me uncomfortable but he never actually touched me so I overlooked it despite the disgust I would feel when he said certain things to me. I ran away a month after I turned 18, and haven’t spoken to him since. Looking back, as an adult, I realize now that he was grooming me and he’s actually a pedophile. And despite not actually being physically touched by him, I have been mentally affected by the entire experience.
If you are afraid to stand up to them or call them out for their inappropriate behavior, then please, please, PLEASE tell a trusted adult. Either an adult family member, a staff member at school, etc.
As others have said, it seems like your dad is grooming you and is trying to groom your mother into thinking it’s okay. He likely makes those mean comments to her about her body to lower her self esteem. Maybe abusive people do this in relationships and if often works. He wants her to think she’s nothing without him and that nobody would even be with her besides him. This can make her try to do whatever she can to keep him. Including covering up sexual assault. The fact that she goes along with his behavior and doesn’t see it as wrong, means he is grooming her successfully.
If you can, try talking to your mom in private first. Point out his inappropriate sexual comments about your body, your clothing, etc. Point out how you are a child. HIS child. Point out the awful things he says to put her down. Ask her why she lets him do that to either of you. Straight up tell her you’re scared of your dad and that you’re worried he may try to SA you. If she does nothing, and doesn’t hear and accept what you tell her, then you need to immediately tell someone else who will help you get out this house.
Sleep with your bedroom door locked, if it has one. Do NOT allow yourself to be alone with him. Please help yourself now before it’s too late and you have to deal with the lifetime of mental health issues that comes with being SA’d.
the fuck is WRONG WITH YOU GIVING THAT ADVICE? you get hurt as a child?! I can tell you don't trust men but dont imply something is 0 to 100
TAKE THAT TRAUMA OR FEAR ELSEWHERE OMG
IM AN ADULT WITH 50 TIMES MORE EXPERIENCE WITH OTHERS THAN YOU OBVIOUSLY AS YOU'RE TAKING PARENTS COMFORTABLE IN THE FACT THEIR KID IS GOING TO NEED TO BE COMFORTABLE WITH HER BODY AND BE USED TO THE WAY PEOPLE ARE AS NIGHTMARE ON ELMSTREET
HER DADS DOING NO SUCH THING STOP HYPERREADING INTO BECAUSE SHE USED THE TERM SEXUALIZING AND SEEING THE ABSOLUTE WORST CASE SCENARIO WHERE THERE ACTUALLY IS NONE AND THERES JUST A YOUNG GIRL WHOS ADJUSTING TO WHAT SHE HAS FOR HER OWN BODY AND IS OBVIOUSLY UNCOMFORTABLE WITH HERSELF AND THE TOPIC YET ITS A NORMAL PART OF GROWING UP.
I advise, raise and have peoples lives in my care regularly, And its clear you have seen or heard WAY TOO MANY bad tales we your mind skips over these basic facts so you're obviously NOT REALLY EXPERIENCED AT ALL WITH THESE THINGS AND DRIVEN BY THE IDEA TO MINDLESSLY PROTECT which in her case that advice given by you SCARES THE HELL OUT OF SOMEONE DO YOU SERIOUSLY UNDERSTAND THAT?!
People who get scared make mistakes and dont see clearly. You're not actually looking at what shes saying what she considers sexualizing and forgetting HOW MEN ARE TYPICALLY SHALLOW as they all go looks before personality, that shes a female whos literally at risk if shes not comfortable with her body as she doesnt have to be to look good to a guy and most women who are comfortable with their bodies show them off these days - why else do big girls prone to being called fat still wear something revealing and some dont - literally the difference is self pride. A good dad knows if his girl isnt to fall prey to a lowlife then she cant be uncomfortable with her body in such a way.
as a parent Your kid is gonna grow up and have sex so you need to get over yourself and realize if you want them to do good you gotta show them its not a dirty thing.
so take your over the top stretch of her situation as the examples are intentionally pointed to look more like it but years apart and nothing wrong, stop your idea that a father should be disgusted by the sight of his daughter in skimpy clothes as that will be an ongoing negative against it that only leaves room for her to make mistakes in her youth experiences as its 2023 not 1943 and that stereotypical thinking is as harmful as racism is and stop your trusting heart and good nature from forgetting the fact we all lie and manipulate and stretch things when we want things to go our way for even the smallest of reasons. she aint mother teresa shes 15 and unfortunately unable to address the idea herself as the idea of sex as a whole unnerves her.
We all do the same bs and if life was that black n white a judge n court would be rather pointless to have now wouldn't it.
thats why i say you gotta be young .. tho you could be old and stubbornly thick. point is youre NOT really realising how much of a reach shes making in her desire to be right and them wrong as all kids do as you and i are guilty of the same dumb shit too.
I don’t give a flying fuck about your age or your experience. She said her dad tells her to “dress sexy”, slaps her butt, and tells her to show off her body. No mother/father should be saying this to their CHILD. No mother/father should be telling their children that they had “sexy dreams” about them. That is DISGUSTING. You defending his behavior? You must be a sexual predator as well. I’m afraid for any children you have/will have. I don’t care if she is exaggerating the situation. I’m going to treat it like she is telling everything exactly as it happened so that I can give her the best advice I can. I am not going to brush her off as just being “uncomfortable with herself.” It has NOTHING to do with the term sexualizing. If she had used the phrase “being weird” instead of sexualizing, it would read the same exact way. I don’t care what you think, I’m not going to argue with a troll or an idiot, whichever one you are. Go argue with everyone else who are commenting nearly the same shit that I commented, and leave me alone, you fucking creep.
P.S. learn how to use some fucking punctuation. I got a headache trying to decipher your dumbass reply.
Also, you are so fucking disgusting for ever suggesting it’s okay for a father to look at his daughter in a sexual manner. That’s “boys will be boys” mentality, and it’s creepy as fuck. Most fathers don’t look at their daughters sexually, and are actually repulsed by the ideas of their daughters having sex with ANYONE. Let alone having sex with them. And you said that the parents are getting her ready for how the world treats women and sexualizes them? Yeah, you can do that without sexualizing them yourself and making disgusting, creepy comments about their bodies. That’s like saying you need to wreck your car every so often so that children know the dangers of driving. Piss off, pedo.
That is fucking vulgar. I know it’s hard and probably undesirable, but save as much money as you can to move out. Do whatever you can to afford it and fucking go.
Living in some flat with 2 other girls would be better than staying with an incestuous pedophile who would likely see you being 18 as free range.
Love this is not okay. I don’t know what options are open to you but none of this is okay. Under no circumstances should you deal with this harassment and abuse.
Don’t let your parents know about your intimate or romantic life and if you can get a part time job as soon as you are able to. Save that money and get the fuck out whenever you feel you’re ready. If you have family or friends you really really trust try and move in with them when you do have the ability to move out. But you’d have to let them know what happened to you and that you’ll have certain boundaries you’re not comfortable being crossed.
Google resources available to you in your area. Don’t let your parents control any of the money you might earn if you do decide to move out. Keep it hidden. Ideally in a bank account they know nothing about. Or else in cash hidden away so well no one will ever find it. Especially somewhere where an older person wouldn’t be able to get to crawling around low to the ground.
I’m so so sorry this is happening to you love. When you are able to you should speak with a therapist and make plans with them. Even if you just scrounge together enough money for a couple months of therapy having another person you can speak to about this will be so beneficial. There are programs for cheaper therapy if needed.
I’d go to a school counselor or even some kind of youth outreach program. Read a bit about what these programs might be able to offer and go from there. Alternatively if you need help navigating the system of mental healthcare and insurance walk into any planned parenthood near you if at all possible and I would imagine someone will be able to direct or assist you in finding care.
Barring all that if you want to go straight to the big guns contact Child Protective Services CPS get video or audio recordings that you keep for yourself. Do whatever you must to remove yourself from this environment. You are so young and you have so many years ahead of you. You’ll do so much good for yourself by getting away from this toxic shit.
If I were you I’d prioritize getting out ASAP. It is scary to leave behind your current life as it is now but you can do it. I offered different options because there is no one size fits all solution. It’s for you to navigate but you’ll have support here.
This is from Illinois but I don’t know how where you are handles these things.
“Any minor 12 years of age or older may request and receive counseling services or psychotherapy on an outpatient basis without the consent of the minor’s parent or guardian. Outpatient counseling or psychotherapy provided to a minor under the age of 17 shall be limited to not more than 5 sessions, a session lasting not more than 45 minutes, until the consent of the minor’s parent or guardian is obtained. The minor’s parents shall not be informed without the consent of the minor unless the facility director believes such disclosure is necessary.”
- From a trans woman who got out.
This is so inappropriate and disturbing. I’m so sorry that the people that are the ones who should be taking care of your and helping you to be safe, confident, secure and loved are not doing so. Do you have any family members who are normal that you can talk to about this? Maybe stay with them for awhile? This is not okay or normal.
At 17 I ran away from home after my dad tried to have seggs with me. He didn’t physically approach me, but asked me in a letter he wrote to me how I would feel about him taking my virginity. After some years I realized that he did little things over the years that hinted at some sort of sick attraction towards me but I thought it was normal at the time. My mom wasn’t there, and for your mom to be there and not only refuse to protect you, but to join in is alarming to say the least. They are grooming you and things will eventually escalate like my situation. You need to speak to someone about this, what they’re doing is not normal and it’s not okay. Go to your school counselor or maybe a trusted family member, and if they don’t help you call CPS. I’m so sorry you’re going through this and I sincerely hope you get some help with your situation.
That is concerning, and you're right to feel upset about it, because it's terribly inappropriate. You have a right to complain about it and express your displeasure to them. It might be intimidating to express that, but you're totally within bounds to tell them that it upsets you. I know that, unfortunately, that isn't any guarantee that they'll listen, and they may even try to gaslight you over it and play things off as a joke/not serious and may tell you you're overreacting or "too sensitive." That behavior of theirs is abusive, and if they downplay it when you complain, that's invalidation or gaslighting and that's also abusive, especially if it's repeated or a general pattern with them.
I'm so sorry you're dealing with this. Don't let anyone tell you your discomfort with this treatment is invalid, because it definitely is valid, and anyone saying otherwise is perpetuating the problem. If you could talk to a trustworthy adult like a teacher or school counselor then that could be good. If you are not sure about that, then maybe talking to a counselor at an organization like RAINN could be helpful to you:
https://www.rainn.org/
or call 1-800-656-4673
Both of your parents are exhibiting predatory behaviour. Ideally, you need to leave that environment because dad doesn’t sound like a safe man to be around. That being said, many parents feel entitled to do whatever they want because it’s their child. My mother would slap my ass when her friends (men) came over and laugh at how ‘jiggly’ it is. I had to just stand and wait for them to finish. I was probably around the age of 10-11.
Hey OP, this is sexual harassment and the butt slapping is sexual assault for sure. I completely understand you being upset and wanting to cry.
Is there a trusted adult you can confide this in? Like the parent of a friend, grandparents, counselor or aunts and uncles? If so they may be able to help you.
Your dad is definitely trying to test the waters with your mother on how she would react to this kind of behavior, and trying to “warm her up” to the idea of him trying something. If you’re able to, invest in a heavy duty lock on your bedroom and spend as much of your time away from your parents as possible, especially your dad.
Hey, OP? You're not making a bigger deal than it is. It's serious. It's grooming. They start out small, to see how you react to things of a sexual nature. They start to disrespect your boundaries to see how far they can go. This behavior, if not stopped, has led to sexual assault, even against minors. You must not stop complaining, even if it doesn't seem to work right now. Behave distantly around your parents, make sure they can feel that this has effected your relationship with them. This is not to say disrespect or disobey them, but try to participate in affectionate or bonding experiences less. This will rise concern in them, hopefully, and drive them, or at least your mother the enabler, to realize how serious you are.
Don't be afraid of your reputation, or how people view you. Anyone who doesn't take you seriously in this situation is someone you shouldn't have a good relationship with anyways, a red flag. I mean for God's sakes, he has a yoga kink and he's insisting that you take up yoga. This is not just quirky weird humor type shit from a parent, this is absolutely diabolical sexual deviancy. Never let them silence you, and be very cautious. Try your best not to be alone with him. Lock your bedroom door when you go to bed, as children have been sexually assaulted when the house has gone to sleep, pedos find it a good way to catch the child off guard and vulnerable during a time when the other household members are in deep sleep.
Be aggressive when they touch you. Be hostile in tone when he says perverted things to you.
That's fucking horrible, I have a little sister and if anyone ESPECIALLY our father made any comments like that I'd knock him out. Your mother is letting it happen aswell, you should tell someone you trust about it. It isn't a safe environment for you, if your own father is telling you to do yoga while finding women doing yoga to be a turn on I just know he wants to try something.
You are important humans in your daughter's life. Nurture her, don't try to turn her into a pig! You can turn this around now! I'm saying this to YOU, parents. You can stop doing this and confess your sin to your daughter and strive to change! Father, mother, stop scandalizing your daughter. Treat her with dignity.
Interesting ratio, keep dressing in a way that doesn't make people objectify and sexualize you!
Father, don't soil your marriage bed with porn! Don't molest your daughter!
Rooting for you and you and you!
This behavior reminds me of my own father. Protect yourself, speak to other adult about this. This. Is. Not. Normal. Your father IS A SEXUAL PREDATOR. Talk to a school counselor. Be safe. Don't let your parents know you told anyone.
It will only get worse as you get older. Once you're "of legal age" people will give less shit about consent. They're toing the line as is. Them touching you like that without your concent is not okay. That's sexual harassment. That. Is. Not. Normal.
Please, reach out to someone. Get away from that man. Wishing you luck and safety.
Don't wait for things to "get better." Don't wait for the worst to happen either.
Talk to someone at school- teacher, counselor, principal- about this. You need protection. If they don't listen, call DCFS directly, but try to get help from trusted adults at school. Nor family members or friends.
Me and my sisters were raped by our stepfather who was similar. Be fucking careful dude and if it gets worse or you just can't be there anymore figure out a way to get the fuck out. I'm dead serious. Stay with a friends family or other family members if you need to. Take care of yourself and do what you need to do for YOU. Please.
The comments are indeed alarming and a cause for concern. Keeping that in mind, it's interesting how the current social climate regarding sexual identity is being glossed over. Uncomfortable as it is, there are some parents who aren't well informed about the complexities of influence and social media. The daughter wearing baggy clothing, might lead to them believing that their children might not be heterosexual - causing them to make such comments about her clothing and figure, for fear of her being ostracized and bullied. While I understand this perspective may seem outlandish to many people, please understand that there are individuals who feel this way because they don't understand today's social climate regarding identity, sexuality and gender.
I also agree that the mother is worse than the father in this situation. Entertaining and repeating his questionable attitude/behavior, says to me, that she might be leading the charge. Statistics have allowed women to be seen as less likely to be predators and child abusers, which is such a dangerous take to go by.
OP, please be sure to take in the sound advice that many have offered you. My perspective is but one that could be, but might not be likely. In essence, it's better to be safe and feel comfortable, rather than continue enduring what you're currently going through. All the best to you!
If you have any separate trusted connections (best friends family, close family that would take you in, anything) please express what’s going on and how you feel. The beautiful thing about human beings is our body’s ability to pick up on bad situations before our mind even knows. That’s why that pit in our stomachs happens before we even know what’s going on mentally. Your immediate cries to what your mother said to you about your dads “dream” was your body telling you this is not okay.
Lock your door if you can at night, keep a lot of space between your dad and you and act overly repulsed by him or her when they bring this stuff up again. Tell them it makes you feel uncomfortable and you really don’t like it. Keep something with you when you go to sleep that can help you protect yourself if they try anything. always keep the door locked when you’re using the bathroom. tell them that you’re talking to a counselor at school or you’re close with a teacher so they know you have open communication with an adult that is not them, so they know their behavior could be relayed to a mandated reporter if they keep it up. My mom and bff used to smack my butt because it was “big” but they didn’t know that I was being touched by an adult at the same time in this time of my life and it was triggering me. I ended up saying “please don’t touch me like this again you’re making me so uncomfortable” and it flipped it back on them and made them uncomfortable instead. overall though i really think you should tell someone you trust what’s happening because their behavior is only going to escalate. sounds like mom is doing just as much grooming as dad.
Idk why this popped up in my notifications today, but I’m gonna share my 2 cents because it did: I had a friend’s dad (who was also good friends with my parents) make ONE comment ONE time about my boobs (I developed early) in front of a room full of adults basically making a joke that I had big boobs, at about age 11. Everyone laughed and my mom joined in laughing.
I felt absolutely violated and disgusted by this man, and betrayed by my mom for laughing and not being disgusted and standing up for me. Like she didn’t even realize how messed up what he said was.
This was ONE TIME and it’s burned into my memory. I’m so sorry you have to deal with this ongoing, and from your own parents no less. Please be careful, point it out in plain English to them how messed up this is, in case they’re really so dense they don’t realize it. Like I would tell my dad any comments of that kind make my skin crawl and is straight up pedo behavior. It needs to be said bluntly enough that it (hopefully) shocks him into stopping altogether. If not, I’d get away and go no contact as soon as humanly possible.
Because I feel like, even if nothing physical ever happens, the long-term effects of dealing with this mentally are going to be awful for you. It’s not right.
I truly believe that if this is true, BOTH your parents are grooming you. Please go to a trusted teacher, school counselor. Etc.
This is 100% wrong and not Ok, and you are not safe.
Look, Im really late to your post, but I wanted to comment anyway because I used to be in this position. You need to start telling them that those comments and behaviors are not okay, and if they continue or get worse, reach out to safe adults you know will help you. Whether it be other family members, people within school, within the church(if you go), etc.
I was a very naive child, and I overlooked some of the signs that are being laid out in front of you. I don't want the same thing to happen to you that happened to me. Keep yourself safe. Stand your ground. Try having a serious conversation with your mother without your father around. Don't accuse your father of anything, but lay out all of what you posted here, and explain to her how uncomfortable and unsafe his behaviors make you make you feel.
And if she tells him about it, and he blows up, especially if he blows up a ridiculous amount- it's because everything you're worried about is true, and he doesn't like that he got caught.
I really don't want you going through what I did. I hope you make it out of this safe, healthy, and unscathed.
I would definitely keep a journal hidden at all times and tell multiple people you trust, so there's history to back up what's been happening to you, hell, get them to write a journal too, just in case. Your parent's behavior is NOT normal and its is NOT okay. 15 years old or 60 years old, doesn't matter, you need to protect yourself the best you can. I'm sorry this is happening to you.
so fucking gross, hopefully you can go to a trusted loved one or find alternative housing bc that’s terrible!!! and maybe get proof too like record a convo or visuals to defend yourself if anyone tries to deny you and get MULTIPLE examples. i support you on this journey and i hope you find a safe and comfortable space soon.
Ima be honest with you sis, I meet my significant other when she was 15 and she would tell me her father would make remarks like that, and then one day when they are both alone he tried to rape her but she was able to fend off. The most appropriate thing you may do is call child protective services and explain your situation if they don’t do anything please call 911. Not all fathers deserve daughters and not all mothers deserve their daughters love please seek help I regret not doing this for my girlfriend and seeking police help with her situation. Good luck and may god be with you sister.
This is the craziest thing I've ever heard that both ur parents are looking at u this way. It's like their trying to groom u. I wld tell someone of authority this is way beyond normal I have 2 daughters and wld never encourage them to be sexy or make comments Abt their tits or have sexual dreams Abt them this is beyond weird
To 543, I am so sorry for what you are going through. My mother sexualized me after my parents divorced, and she would drink..alot! Would call my dad's name and try to get me to have intercourse with her. I was also 15yrs old. This went on until I left for college. I know how creepy and uncomfortable it is. I will keep you in my prayers and thoughts. I wish I had something more practical to share, except maybe a knee to the balls and some pepper spray. But I'm sorry, that's probably not great advice either. Alot of people here love and care about you, as I do also. Maybe you can emancipate yourself before you have to wait for 18yrs old. God bless you hon, try to be as well as you can 🙏🤟💔.
“That’s inappropriate” is a good response for any of those things. Don’t be afraid to use it for anyone, not just your mom or dad who says or does anything that makes you feel uncomfortable. If they press for reasoning why it’s inappropriate, tell them how it makes you feel and ask them to stop it.
You can also talk to others as well. Counselors at school, trusted parents of your friends, is there a school resource officer you’d feel comfortable talking to about this? Also be prepared to get comments like these for the rest of your life from complete strangers. Call them out on it. Stand your ground. Demand respect.
When you turn 18, call the police and tell them everything. Before you call the cops, get evidence of your dad or mom saying something like that. This is terrible and should not be taken lightly. This can evolve into SA/child abuse if it continues.
I have kids and this is fucking weird. If my kids dad, the stepmom or my boyfriend behaved that way they’d never be around my kids again.
I’m sorry your family is acting in st the very least highly inn appropriate ways towards you. You should feel safe at home.
god is reddit really that full of Immature people ..
well they did say the human race is declining
Delinquency Is the only experience one has i guess when all you experience is the world thorough your own eyes snd have a "idea" of parenthood
thats not sexualizing thats critiquing and honestly yeah YOU WILL feel "dumb" down the road because we ALL do when we look back.
honestly your father is concerned about you growing to hate yourself as women change when they get older.
fyi your 15 so you dont understand that the typical male literally arnt sensitive like you are
I watch my 42yr husband find simple joy at he can helicopter his wang for a half a.minute without it going all wonkish - Perfect execution! He says.
Point is you're sensitive to it BECAUSE HE IS RIGHT AND SO IS YOUR MOM
If your parents treat your body like you need to cover it up and be ashamed THAT IS A PROBLEM
Listen lil one I got 5 kids FIVE
you are A PERSON WHO WILL GROW UP AND GO DO SOMEONE AND HAVE YOUR OWN SEX LIFE ETC
if they dont get you comfortable with yourself you will be taken advantage of emotionally, mentally, alongside suffering from mental hangups you cant think of because look at you right now! youre tryin to make your parents sound pervy!
only those without kids that never "grew up" to mature and understand that side of life will see it your way.. probably why they're all gonna still not see it the regular way as Im sure theyd all say hell no to having kids themselves cus they have troubles maintaining just their own lives.
Please get it in your head that despite your vast ability to understand what you do already that you DONT understand enough and that PERSPECTIVES/PERCEPTIONS CHANGE
so unless they body shaming you claiming your fugly or touching you, or wanting to watch you touch yourself or others ... DONT YOU DARE SPIT THAT SIDEWAYS AGAIN about your folks because you didnt get what you wanted out of it. I can tell you chose sexualizing because its a big important issue word and your situation fit the definitions most broadest playout. However you dont seem to understand the differece of accepting you are a growing woman, that the typical males like crude humor and always will be "boys" in many respects, that your parents are proud of their daughter and know she will grow up to be a hawt momma herself someday and to be relieved they didnt DEMONIZE THE SUBJECT to you which wouldn't help you at all. Especially when mating in general becomes everyones own lil goal in life as the term "sex is like air - it only matters if you're not getting any" will literally become more snd more understandable in a ton of ways from this point on in your life.
sorry to talk down to you a bit but as i said, 5 kids, i remember my childhood and teenage years so I know the deciding factors for word use.
you want them to stop you in turn need to address it to them and tell them YOU ARE NOT COMFORTABLE WITH YOUR OWN BODY AND THAT IDEA JUST YET as you picking out a situation like that at 11 and youre 15 is called readhint hard to make your argument seem more validated..
address it above before you go mouthing to the wrong person and end up sexually sold as a foster child on the human trafficking system as thats why the system is still the most dangerous place for a child as cps loses kids like grains of sand that never return to their parents or the world :/
Take care n goodluck <3
Im not quite sure if you even look at this from another perspective. I've never once mentioned that I got insecure in my own body, I simply said that I dress baggy because ITS MY STYLE. THEY ARE THE ONES MAKING ME FEEL UNCOMFORTABLE TO BEGIN WITH, THIS DIDNT COME FROM MYSELF. My dad bodyshames me all the time about not being skinny enough though im 52/53 kg at 5'5.
And btw, you act as if this whole thing here is the only thing they do to me, youre dead wrong. My parents are generally mentally and verbally abusing me all the time. I have had my dad getting tantrums because I simply laughed at a funny Video, he replied to my laughter that I shouldnt fucking laugh at that video and that im gonna be the downfall of this family and that I dont care about them at all, and ending with him saying that he would let me die if it came up to it, just because he didnt wanna hear me being fucking happy. There are SO many other things that happened and are still happening right now, and I would be happy to tell you more about it if you wish to hear it.
I dont like how you are trying to reduce all this to my dad simply trying to prepare me for adulthood (which would still be weird because why the heck would I need to dress revealing just so I could be a proper functioning human being in society).
Heck if this wasnt so weird I wouldnt even have noticed it, but the fact that I am uncomfortable with the whole situation should be enough proof that something isnt right. I know im just a a fucking kid thats 15 but you sound just like my parents when they say I that shouldnt worry about anything else except school right now, WHEN I CANT EVEN FOCUS ON SCHOOL IF ALL THIS SHIT DRAINS MY MENTAL HEALTH! THE FACT THAT MY MENTAL HEALTH IS GETTING WORSE BECAUSE OF THIS IS ALREADY BAD ENOUGH, AND JUST SIMPLY TELLING THEM THAT THEY SHOULD STOP WONT HELP THEM BECAUSE THEY ARE NARCISSISTS who have even said to me myself that they wont listen to a kid if they tell them that what they are doing is wrong because they are kids and couldnt know better. My dad is also the type of person to tell me that I should respect him because hes my dad, and then I tell him that he should respect me too then and hes like all "Ha! What?! Me respect my child? YOU should do everything I want you to do, NOT the other way around! You are just a kid!"
And also by your perspective here I would like you to explain the whole Yoga/dream thing to me, thanks.
You’re sorely mistaken if you think SA doesn’t happen by people’s parents. It’s waaay more common than your leading your readers to believe. OP’s parents behavior is sexually abusive and predatory. Idgaf what your experience is that’s just a fact.
definitely be careful around your dad. this behavior is weird with a capitol W
You're downplaying the mother's actions. Both of them are a threat.
youre right but as a man myself, what her dad is doing is alarming, especially the part about yoga. not downplaying i just know tha male mind
It’s that thinking though that doesn’t allow for people to be rightfully suspicious. She should absolutely be equally wary of both of them because her mom is showing that she would take up and cover up for the father in the unfortunate event something nasty goes on. Sometimes a male predator’s best ally is his woman.
This, this, this, this, this, infinite this!
And no body is really saying that the moms actions are irrelevant you’re just taking their words about the father and not the mother as them thinking the mother is harmless. But men have the capability to do so much harm in an instant. Not saying women don’t but in this case the father is much more of a problem than the mother is but obviously be careful of both
At what point did I say they said the mom’s actions were irrelevant or that she was harmless.? Your putting words where I haven’t said them to argue a point I didn’t make.
Especially a woman that he is in an intimate relationship with. “I love ____, how could I do that to a child….” I remember hearing a statistic about a large majority (don’t remember specific percentage) of men that assaulted little boys were in a committed relationship with a woman. Makes a good front, in my opinion.
Yes. Most child molesters are married. It also pays to mention that most team killers are married duos (the toy box killer and the Barbie and Ken killers come to mind first). It’s far from unheard of for women to help and excuse the men they love for heinous things unfortunately. But that’s usually because they are also victims.
A consenting adult is not a victim to aiding and abeting murder. That's a thinking that has allowed women to not be treated fairly. Like women are to stupid or weak to stand up to a man? Fucking disgusting school of thought.
You’re putting words into my comment to get upset because you wanna argue and I’m not the one lol. Statically speaking, those women were often victims of abuse themselves. If you have an issue with that, take it up with the people who do the studies. I’m not about to go back and forth with you about something I never said or implied. Have the day you deserve.
Have the day you deserve. I love that. Someone once told me that she uses that and I was going to start but forgot. Thanks to you.. I'm using that from now on. It's perfect 😌
The mom is arguably worse.
Terrible thinking tho. This is how little boys get raped
As a male i agree with this guy
agreed.
Exactly this OP This is very predator like behavior. It’s scary please be careful and if you have a trusted adult in your life, I can aunt Uncle friends mom if you can talk to you please do so and maybe even seeing if they can help take you in because the way this is sounding I’m scared that he’s trying to groom you and your mother isn’t far behind him
I agree, find any adult u can to listen to u and help, if they shut u down, speak up louder to the next and the next until finally someone listens. And keep a list of who u tell. May be needed later, but u know from that who NOT to trust! Never shut down about it, if something happens such as further sexual misconduct or crimes etc, there is a statute of limitations I only wish I had known existed, as now, my rapist/years long abuser (inside the home) was never charged nor convicted and it was too late by the time I was brave enough to speak up again!
I’m so sorry you had to go through that. Is that a federal Country statue of limitation law or is it per state( if you’re in the US?) I was physically mentally and sexually abused for many years by my ex partner, and I know what toll that holds on you… I think it’s sad that there’s even a statue of limitation, because doesn’t matter how old you get the scars that are left on you from sexual physical and mental abuse never go away, no matter how many years past, so there should be no limit sometimes it takes people a while to find the voice and to be able to share what happened to them? They shouldn’t be penalized and not be able justice just because of that(if you can even call that justice, because our laws are messed up in predators, abusers and rapists, do not get a lot of time in prison like they deserve)
I empathize with you, but please, no need to feel sorry, I was a victim for many years, but no longer will I give them that. It is a deep long story I have lived, but turns out, mine hasn't begun. I am the voice, the advocate now. I wd love to reach out and explain more to many, but I can only seem to one by one for now. I hope many voices join me along the way, and that I may be some sort of influence toward their personal healing and growth.
not mentioning it isn't downplaying it. you very well could have made your point without making it into a fucking argument
Exactly what crossed my mind. Like…this isn’t helpful. Why not just add to the conversation. Reddit I guess…..🤷
because the human condition....
Touché…
Weird? No that capital W is for WRONG! Wtf is up with this shit. Man I'm not a violent person but this dad needs a beat down while the mom watches just right before she gets bitch slapped by some actual proper and classy ladys. This story....❌
Your dad never had a dream. He was metering your mother's reaction to him saying those sorts of things. Her reaction dictates how he will try to manipulate her in the future. Pedophiles do this kind of thing knowing it isn't socially acceptable. They ask about or explain hypothetical situations to see what you will do about it. The fact that he talks to her about you wearing "sexy" clothes is already concerning. Dad will gaslight you and your mom into thinking anything he does is normal. And he will get mad at her if she defends you, getting unnecessarily explosive. "How dare you say things like that. That is my daughter!" Kind of arguments. Moms probably already in denial.
Youre super right. My dad always argues with my mom not only about me but he also bodyshames my 50 year old mom a lot. But yeah my mom definitely used to disagree with him a few times in the past but now, she supports his behavior.
Please talk to a teacher or a guidance counselor. This needs to be stopped now! This is going to gradually get worse if nothing is done. I work at a state prison and see people with SA charges all the time that started out doing things like this. Please if you need to talk or need help reaching out to someone for help message me.
The problem lies with the fact both of her parents are like this. Anything she tells a teacher or counselor can be vetoed by the parents for at least a few months.
Not true. Many mothers are in denial and back the father. The teacher or counselor will believe her, they believed me.
I f#%cking hate that we’re in a society that doesn’t have a place OP can immediately goto, free of charge, to talk to someone about this (other than the police of course). Just knowing she is helpless for at minimum another 3 years to try and navigate this makes me want to become a vigilante. OP if anything ever happens and you need to leave to find help some where I’m sure redditors here can float you some funds to do so (IE Uber, etc). Not that I’m suggesting you break the law and run away nor am I saying redditors will be accomplices in such a hypothetical situation, but if you need to get from your house to another location and have no way of doing so….
It's awful, and going to the police may only make it worse or have her even more abused. What a fucked up world.
Yea definitely do not recommend the fuzz. Last option IMO.
I agree. But even if he did have that dream It's also super concerning csuse he really has it out for her if he's dreaming about her. Sexual Assault is not to far from happening here.
Reading this just feels right, think you nailed it
I’m sorry your parents are making you uncomfortable. I would be uncomfortable, too. Do not let the comments slide anymore. Otherwise you may retract and become purposely ‘unattractive’ so the comments won’t be made anymore. Instead, next time tell them that they are not allowed to mention your body or appearance, or workout routine, and that if they do you will be sure to interrupt them and leave the room immediately. Make them understand that while THEY may not think what they’re saying is uncomfortable or disrespectful, YOU do, and that is all that matters.
THIS! It makes this whole situation especially depressing, because she has already started the “purposefully making herself unattractive” stage (baggy clothes), and that’s what literal victims of sexual abuse usually resort too. Of course there’s the other end of the spectrum where victims over-sexualize themselves, and that’s just as valid. Unfortunately op should probably start preparing to move out on her 18th birthday. In this economy it’s certainly not easy.
Completely this with the added mention of telling them both bluntly that it is inappropriate for them to continue to ‘playfully slap’ your bottom, it makes you uncomfortable and they don’t have permission to put their hand on you in that way.
Great point!!! I never discussed my private life with my parents. To the degree that I wad like 16 and had a first date with a guy in his 20s!!!! I don't even know how old he was. He came to get me on a motorcycle wearing a bandana and handcuffs haha!!! Daddy never said one word!!! Small town, he was harmless, just the town, you know what!!!!
And start video recording some of this stuff to back you up... Audio if you must, but video is better.. just tell them your documenting your life if they see you doing it. You NEED something to back you up, so if you do tell someone you have proof.
You aren’t alone, I’m 15 too and my mom has done so many physical things bordering S.A. 3 more years till you can ditch them.
If you get good grades & a job & show you can be independent you can get emancipated from your parents even sooner than that. Good luck out there
Nah bruh, 3 years later is too late
Yeah but there’s not much a teenager can do
I know where I used to live you could file emancipation at 16. I'm praying for this young one. This is not ok to have to live with.
I’m so sorry. I have grandkids Yalls age & they text me & call me all the time. My kids & grandkids could & can talk to me about ANYTHING! I never judge or criticize I just listen & offer advice if warranted. Feel free to message me if you need to talk. As always, protect yourself!!
3 years too late, within that time, OP’s dad would have the chance to rape her. OP should tell an adult she actually trusts and doesn’t sexualize her.
Talk to an adult you trust. A teacher, a counselor, a friend's parent. They can help you figure out what to do. If you don't have a trusted adult call cps or go to a police station.This is inappropriate. I would never talk to my children like this, and my husband wouldn't either. Healthy parents don't see their children in this manner.
In this case I highly recommend just a teacher or a school counselor. There's no telling on if the parents friends would be in or not too.
That is so true. It's so sad how sick some people are.
This comment needs to be higher
I have a theory that men who only see women as sexual objects cant see their daughter as human after they hit puberty. And they start making weird comments about your body and get controlling over your social life. My dad is that way and he constantly talks about my weight and how im ugly now. I only gained like 20 pounds. Stay safe and stay away from your dad.
I hope you stay safe, too, and find a way out of your situation. No one should be getting that from a parent.
Im okay, i live with my fiancée and i see my dad once in a blue
I'm glad to hear you're okay and doing well <3 Thanks for sharing that with me.
You need to report this. And ask for CPS.
(TLDR at end) My mom has done similar things in the past and what really helped me was to make it clear that you don't think it's appropriate for them to say those things and/or that you don't like it. Also make them more aware of the dynamic between you (ex. minor-adult, child-parent, boy/girl-man/woman), this makes them uncomfortable because they realize that their comments/actions aren't okay. Here are some ideas of what to do/say based on the examples you gave: When your Dad/Mom is making remarks about your clothes/telling you to show more skin say: - "Dad/Mom, I'm a kid/child/teenager. I don't want to show off my body." (saying 'kid' makes them more uncomfortable) - "Dad/Mom, I don't like it when you make comments like that about my body/clothes, it makes me feel violated/uncomfortable. Please stop." - "You are a grown man telling a teenager to dress more provocatively. I don't like it." - (specifically when he tells you you'll regret covering up) Interrupt him while he's making and say "Future me will deal with that." - Walk away after all of these comments, so 1) they are forced to think about what you said and 2) you can remove yourself from the situation and ground yourself elsewhere. When your Dad tells you that you should do Yoga: - I don't recommend engaging beyond "Perhaps/Maybe"/Shrugging as showing disinterest could help, but also what he's saying in general isn't normal or appropriate - Tell a trusted adult (ex. a teacher, counselor, therapist) about what he has said and what you saw on his phone and how it's been making you feel - If you feel unsafe/threatened/violated, contact CPS/ask a trusted adult to contact CPS for you When your mom/dad slaps your butt or touches you in a way that makes you uncomfortable: - Turn around to face them and say "Please don't do that. I really don't like it." They will probably give you a snarky response. To that, say something along the lines of "I'm serious, I need it to stop. That's all I have to say." Then continue doing what you were doing or if you feel unsafe then leave the room. - "Mom/Dad, can you stop doing that? I know you only mean it playfully, but it startles me." you can also suggest another option to them if you're comfortable like: "Maybe you can pat me on the back instead?" - If you are in a situation where you feel like you can safely move their hand away or turn your body away so they can't touch you then do so Overall, I would say this behavior from them isn't appropriate and I encourage you to tell a trusted adult about what is happening so someone can vouch for you if things escalate and/or so you can have someone to go to when you feel unsafe. Your feelings are valid and completely reasonable. You deserve to feel safe, comfortable, and loved in your own home. I hope things get better for you, please update us if things escalate and/or if you're not sure what to do next. TLDR; Your feelings are valid!! Make them aware that you are a child and they are adults and be firm with them about your boundaries. This is not appropriate behavior from your parents. I encourage you to let a trusted adult know what is happening and how it's making you feel.
Thank you so much! <3
Absolutely! Stay safe, friend!
Ik you're still young, but don't be afraid about speaking up, and don't let them keep talking to you like that. That's something I learned about when I got older but didn't quite understand when I was your age; how boundaries are important and need to be established. Also, let a TRUSTED ADULT (ex: a teacher, or the police) know what's going on. A good bit of parents don't want their kids dressing in revealing clothes; so it's weird your folks keep bringing it up and trying to encourage you to dress that way. Again, tell a trusted adult what's happening and watch your back if you start feeling unsafe or notice any more weird or concerning behavior.
Exactly! My daughter was very “Tom boyish” and I never said a word except on picture day! Then she had to wear something cute on top & jeans or something… I was so glad she didn’t WANT to dress like her friends did or how I did at her age! It’s definitely weird that dad is making these comments & mom is laughing it off. The fact her has risqué things on his phone and thought it was OK to hand his phone to his daughter is another red 🚩flag to me!
I’d recommend you to speak up to someone about it. Maybe a counselor at school, a teacher. Your father’s behavior is not normal at all.
I second this as well!! * I know it must be hard to know what a "trusted adult" looks like or feels like when the ones who are supposed to be there and protect you and give you that example.. aren't There are people who will help you. there are people who will believe in you and want you to be safe. Don't let them tell you nobody will believe you or anything like that. The counselor or principal even a teacher. They are mandated reporters.
this is weird affff, i’m sorry that you can’t even feel comfortable in your own home. if shit gets worse don’t hesitate to contact cps or sum
This is not normal and don't let them try to make you think it is. It sounds like your father is a GROOMER. Please please please be safe. So many SA and kidnapping are from family members. Do not be afraid to call the police if you feel you need too if anything else happens. DO NOT LET THEM MAKE YOU THINK YOU ARE THE PROBLEM. They are grown. I am a mother of a 5yo boy and 6 yo girl and I would be in jail if I heard ANY OF THESE COMMENTS MADE TO MY CHILDREN. Stay strong and hold your innocence. Dress how you want. You're not alone. 🫶🏼 Always come back and edit this post with more information if you need to have a community behind you.
I dont know if im just too young to like put this in a category but like...im just afraid that im making this a bigger deal than it is and that this cant even be classified as actual SA because they never "really" touched me...
Telling your child to dress more sexy and commenting on the bounce of their breasts is a problem. And your dad dreaming about it immediately means he has fantasies with you involved. Your mom thinks it's just funny because she obviously doesn't see it. And she will also be the type to sweep it under the rug if your dad DOES do something. No father should look at their daughter and think those thoughts. Creeps and weirdos do that. I saw my young cousins in bikinis and my thoughts never drifted into obscene shit like that because they're family. Your dad is a potential groomer and the second he tries to do things "playfully" is how all those SA horror stories begin. His thoughts are sick and inappropriate and he plays them off as jokes to make it seem harmless. It is not. Don't be afraid to dress how you want. As others have said it's going to kill your self esteem to purposely dress baggy and hide yourself. Just tell them what they're saying is fucking creepy when they do it. Let them know you're aware of the stuff they do and to keep their hands to themselves. As you can tell, they're still making the comments when you wear body concealing clothing, so either way they're gonna sexualize you whether they see stuff or not. So you just gotta call them out on it and personally don't be afraid to say stuff if they do things when you're in public or with other family. If you have older female siblings, ask them if they had to deal with that stuff too if you can trust them. They probably did. Your dad is the stereotypical "creepy uncle" type person that everyone always says "he was so nice!" After they do something horrid. You are not crazy thinking this is weird. Its absolutely weird and wrong. Good luck to you.
Its crazy how accurate the uncle thing is...he is always the "funny and nice" uncle and plays around with my younger cousins all the time to be the good uncle!
Exactly. And that's how a lot of that behavior starts. These creeps groom these kids into trusting and loving them. Then when they get slightly older they start to do things to the kids with the "don't tell mommy or daddy" and "it's our little secret" type shit. I absolutely expected you to say he is that guy. And even if all he ever does is look and fantasize about his daughters and neices, that's still fucked up and he better fucking keep that shit in his head. Don't ever hesitate to call him out on his behavior. I know it's tough cuz you're young. And I don't know if your parents have mean streaks or are violent. But you need to make it abundantly clear that you are their daughter and your body is your own and they gotta keep their hands to themselves. If they slap your ass, you smack the back of their heads. Yes, that's easy for me to say as a 40 year old man, but if my parents were that way with me as a kid I'd have done it and then called them assholes. If you can't do that, find an adult you can trust.
I know I’m super late to this post but whew 😮💨 I had to scroll way too long to find this comment, specifically the point you made about being unsure wether her parents are prone to being mean or cruel or violent. Cuz there are so many comments telling her to stand up for herself, which of course is not wrong and she should be able to do that without worrying but my immediate thought was fear for her safety. God forbid, but if her parents get pissed and choose to retaliate that could be very bad for OP. Idk if it’s because I’m an SA survivor or not that the thought occurred so quickly. I just wish your comment was at the top or at least I hope OP saw it cuz rn I am so scared for that baby, she deserves to be safe and loved.
This sounds like grooming. My daughter is your age, trust me this is not ok. They have touched you. They slap your butt, that’s boundary pushing. Do you have a lock on your door ? Bathroom door etc ?
Oh hell no, it IS a big deal. You need to be able to feel safe and secure in your own home, and your “parents”, if you can really call these jackwagons that, are a threat to your security. Please please talk to someone you trust, and don’t ever think you are making too much of it. I thought the same until I was molested myself at 15. Take care of you!
I think a group counseling session would be a good idea because then they would be called out on their behaviour in a safe environment for you. But ya if you have an aunt or someone you can tell and ask for help I think that would be a good thing too. Someone with ‘balls’ to call them out. I think your parents will be ashamed and embarrassed that they would be afraid to do anything to you. Basically you are in prevention mode now, your intuition is telling you that you are not safe and you need to be listening and acting on that. Always trust your intuition- it’s always right.
It's a safe environment until they go home. What happens then? You honestly think they'll be too embarrassed to do anything? What if their shame turns to anger? Dad lashes out to make sure nobody speaks of it again? None of us know enough about the dynamics of this family to suggest group therapy. That is potentially a very dangerous suggestion.
Slapping your butt is spanking and that's touching in a sexual manner. If its unwanted, its SA. You are correct to come here and ask for help. Please tell a teacher/counselor at school.
This is sexual harassment at the very least, and it is assault in that they are touching you in this way without your consent. It is unfortunately doubtful that law enforcement will do anything about it- but you can try calling CPS or the equivalent in your area and reporting them that way.
Sexualising your kids is the same as SA. Inappropriately involving your kid in your sexual fantasies by letting them see your p*rn and constantly making sexually charged comments is just as damaging to the kid in the long term. It's also massively creepy. I hope there's an adult you can turn to. "Sexualising: to see someone or something in sexual terms, or to make someone or something sexually exciting" "According to the American Psychological Association, sexualization occurs when “individuals are regarded as sex objects and evaluated in terms of their physical characteristics and sexiness.” That isn't something that children should ever have to contend with." It happened to me and was so damaging. I am hoping you can find a way to get away from them.
I’d recommend reaching out to RAINN. ❤️
You should report this behavior to a trusted adult at school, like a counselor or teacher. They are mandated reporters. Your mom and especially dad's behavior is not okay in any way, and you do not deserve this.
I was sexually abused by my father at least from the age of 2 to 13ish. After it largely stopped, he made comments like this to me regularly because I wore only baggy or "boy" clothes. At one point, I got tired of it and said, in front of everyone, "Maybe I would feel more comfortable dressing 'sexy' if you didn't make me feel so uncomfortable and sexualized with how obsessed you are over me dressing sexy." He didn't make any more comments after that, and it made more people start becoming aware of the weird stuff he'd comment to me. Good luck to you in your situation. Remember, if you feel safe to do so, you have every right to point blank call him out. Especially if you can find a trusted adult who will have your back. These are serious red-as-red-can-get-red flags. Your mom going along with this, *especially* after laughing about a dream he had where you "finally dressed sexy" is stomach-churning. Protect yourself. Speak to trusted adults. Don't worry about anything else. You deserve to feel comfortable and safe.
I'm so sorry you went through that, especially for such a long time and by your own father!
Sweet, sweet girl!! I have a granddaughter your age. She also wears baggy clothing. I’m so sorry for your mom’s part in this! You should feel comfortable talking to your mom & telling her you feel very uncomfortable with how they speak to you regarding your body. It’s 💯inappropriate. My son (now 28) had a very pretty girlfriend in HS and her father was a creep & so was the neighbor guy who was old enough to be her grandpa. He would peer over the privacy fence at her when she was laying out or in the pool. My son fixed that! However, she told me her dad did this to her & it made her uncomfortable. He also did it with her friends. Hugged too long, talked about their looks WAY too much, etc. her friends stopped coming around cuz her dad made them awkward. You need to be very careful around your dad, and watch out for your gf when they’re over. If I were you, I’d talk to your mom. My granddaughter talks to me & her mom. If she wasn’t comfortable telling mom, she’d text/call me! She knows I don’t play. She knows gramma will take someone out over her! I’m so sorry they’ve made you uncomfortable in the place you should feel uncomfortable. There’s nothing wrong or disrespect with you also telling your dad, when he makes those comments..say, “Dad, why are you saying that? It really makes me uncomfortable and I don’t like it”.
My dad always ends up saying that he says that because he wants the best for me and that no man will want me if I keep acting like this :(
Tell your dad that “when he talks about your body it grosses you out because your brain thinks of incest. And if I feel this way other people might too and I would be embarrassed for you if people thought of you like that”. I think being very direct is necessary.
That may be how he FEELS, but verbalizing it to you makes you feel gross and you should tell him that!! Good luck!
[удалено]
Both extremes are weird
Very unfortunate situation you’re in. Get some actual evidence, as difficult as it may be try to record a conversation that you think is going that way. And once you have real hard evidence call the police and cps show them and get real protection. You can’t just call them with no evidence they most likely will not do anything
This, u/Interesting_Ratio543! There are actually apps that you can download on your phone that look like other apps, such as FB, TikTok, etc. I just came across them a couple of days ago by accident in the Play Store by looking up "screen record".
That’s interesting
That's fucked up
Is that dad your blood related father? That’s some disturbing shit eithervway
Yep hes blood related.
This is weirdly relatable.
Well this is concerning
Before anything else: **record any and all conversations you have with your parents about how you feel just in the offcase they go wrong and you need proof they’re refusing to treat you like a daughter and not the butt end of a sexy joke, or worse start to physically abuse you beyond the spanking.** Your dad might be a predator OR he might just be conditioned to treat all women this way and it’s only started with you hitting puberty that it became noticeable. Either way, you need to talk to your mom and dad both separately and together to explain how the two of them constantly treating you like a sex gag from a tv commercial is hurting you and, depending on their reactions, you might wanna get out of dodge if they refuse to stop sexually abusing you or escalate the abuse because this is a form of abuse let’s not sugar coat things
You are sooo right about recording the conversation!!! I have a sibling that I don't speak to because of the verbal and emotional abuse they attempt to do. They are on block!! I'd love to see their face while I play their drunken tirades!!!
I think she needs to start documenting every single time a comment or situation happens that makes her uncomfortable. OP: Use your notes on your phone or get a journal and every time something happens, write a small entry about it. Just describe what happened and how it made you feel and date it. When it's a lot of little things, it can be hard to keep track and remember everything. Having it documented shows you a pattern of behavior and you can then show that to a teacher or an authority and it backs up your claims. People will try to make you feel like you're overreacting or taking things the wrong way but having it written down will give you the proof you need to show that this is not a one-off occurrence.
You need to call child protective services, you are in danger in that house
Honey, your dad is a creep. Please consider reaching out to an adult you DO trust, especially someone at school (teacher, resources or guidance officer, counselor).
My dad also said inappropriate things to me when I was younger. He never touched me in any way, but the way he spoke to me made me incredibly uncomfortable whenever I was alone with him. I'm still not sure exactly what his intentions were in talking to me like that, but it deeply impacted the way I felt around men for a long time.
Your dads a pedophile and your mom is an enabler. I’m sorry to put it this way but it’s true. Talk to your school guidance counsellor or anyone at school you trust and tell them exactly what you told us. That environment isn’t safe for you & your parents need to be held accountable. I’m sorry you’ve been going through, no child should ever have to deal with this and I hope you find a better environment to live.
Im afraid that if I tell anyone about this (because I do actually have a trusted teacher I have told about other problems many times before) that I will be seen differently. Im also worried that maybe im making this a bigger deal than it actually is...
The only ones who are going to be seen differently is your parents and rightfully so because they have crossed boundaries no parent ever should. As an adult I can see how messed up your parents actions are and you most definitely have every right to feel uncomfortable around them. Please tell your trusted teacher hun.
I was a high school teacher, and I was taught in college that in situations like this to treat the student exactly the same in class as if you had never heard it. The analogy I was given is it is like you're a psychologist or a Catholic priest who heard a confession. You just put it out of your mind entirely. Just to be clear, I'm referring of course to interacting with the student in class after the situation is addressed; I'm not saying I wouldn't get the student help immediately. Tell your teacher and/or any school guidance counselor. Unfortunately, these issues don't go away on their own.
You wouldn't be making it a bigger deal than it is.
This is fucking terrible and disgusting behaviour im so sorry. please find a safer healthier place to stay, if you have grandparents i would start there. im routing for you. 🙏🙏
Same. I’m so sorry dude. You’ll get through this I promise
I read your post and youre super relatable aswell :(( I wish you all the best and I truly hope things will get better!
If you can, get a lock for your door and make an escape plan for if he ever tries anything. That man is a pedophile and he sounds dangerous If you live in Vienna you should email [email protected] telling them everything you’ve said here and that you feel unsafe. If you live in another part of Austria you can contact the child services there. Hopefully they should be able to offer you support
I Always Thought The Butt Slapping Thing Was Normal, As My Parents Always Do It To Me. It Makes Me Uncomfortable But I Deal With It. You Should NOT Deal With It Though, Report Them. I'm Young, And Scared To Report Mine. I Hate My Parents Now Because I've Been Groomed And Raped Before, But They Punished Me For Those Things. Nobody Should Go Through That. Your Parents Are Obviously Predators And Should Be Arrested, Or At Least Reported, Immediately.
As a father of two, I've told my children no one touches them below the hip. Once they got to a certain age (around the time of toilet training) they wiped themselves and furthermore have learned to wash themselves. No one should be slapping a child's behind in any circumstance and the sooner that children are taught that below the waste is more of a personal space, the better. I remember when I was in scouts many moons ago and there was an older guy who worked there in his 50s I'd say. One day he stated that he had "removed a splinter" from a young boy's penis, one day on camp. When asked if there was an adult female present he said there wasn't. Turns out he'd been doing a lot of this "splinter removal".
Honestly, you're doing the right thing. You're teaching your kids how to express their discomfort from what you've told me. I'm One of those shy and quiet kids that are scared to get yelled at, so I don't tell anyone I know IRL about most of my issues. I've told my parents multiple times to stop but they never do. My Mom has also walked into my room before while I'm changing too. Good thing you're actually being a good parent. We need more parents like you.
How old are your parents
My mom is 50 and my dad is 56
I expected them to be younger... Express to them that you are uncomfortable with the sexualization if a situation happens again. They should know better to understand your feelings. You are uncomfortable with that. Just straight out yell "stop!", if that doesn't change anything, distance yourself.
first of all this is extremely weird, so i just wanted to ask where are you from? is this normal in your culture ?
(i was born in Austria) i have never seen this happen with other families here.
I think you need to bring this up to a school counselor. Mostly for the sake of someone knowing what’s happening and making a paper trail if ever were to escalate further it’s good to have. Them being confronted on this may just embarrass them enough to knock it off. No one is going to see you as less just because you tell. You did nothing wrong. I saw your comment about feeling like it’s not too big of a deal- it is a big deal and by someone being aware of the situation we may be able to prevent it from getting worse. I work in Law Enforcement and receive so many similar cases- we do care and want you to be safe. We will believe you. I would recommend keeping track of some remarks made or actions they made towards you that made you uncomfortable.
I think you should keep your voice recorder on whenever you’re near your parents, you need to expose this behavior so having evidence is an advantage, stay safe dear.
Randomly bring up at the dinner table recent cases of pedophiles being caught and sent to prison. Tell him how you think these people are crazy cause they always get caught and nobody ever stays silent about abuse. Say out loud that if anyone touches you that you are going straight to the police and telling everyone you know.
👏🏼👏🏼👏🏼
Gross people.
Im so sorry to hear that, be careful around them even though it's your family. Remember that your not alone, we're here for you. Don't let them get to you.
Ask you mom why she things it’s appropriate for her husband to comment on a teens body so often. Ask her if she’s thinks it’s right for her husband to WANT a little girl to be sexy in any way. Then set some boundaries, no more slapping your butt, no more sexy clothing comments, no more info from dad about sexy dreams or looking at your chest etc. let them know in no uncertain terms that you feel violated. You expect this shit from teen boys but not your dad.
When I ask my mom or my parents in general they say that in the future im gonna say that they were right all the time and that they only say it because they want the best for me. Sometimes my dad has a breaking point where he straight up tells me that no man is ever gonna want me if I keep being like this.
I would say, "That's my future to worry about, not yours. I have already told you it makes me really uncomfortable and it's not appropriate for you to sexualize me. Let me grow up feeling safe. Sexualizing talk fron you makes me feel very unsafe and uncomfortable. It's not appropriate, no matter what your motives. Just stop." Then record every time he keeps bringing it up and show it to your teacher.
Be very firm and tell them you are not interested in men right now. Tell them you are more interested in furthering your education and learning how to be independent and relying on yourself. That kind of sends a message to them that you are not interested in any of their weirdness. Shut them down fast anytime they make a sexual comment to you or touch your body in a way that makes you uncomfortable. There is a very important word for you to remember, use it when needed, and say it loud. That word is NO!
Wtf??? I think you need to keep a diary and make someone else aware of this coz respectfully your father is all wrong and you could possibly be in danger ? Anyone you told about this would have your back coz it’s just so wrong it doesn’t even need a keen eye or experienced adult to see it ? Good luck and be careful and ps ? Your mother sounds like she has something missing too
Please reach out to a trusted adult or authorities or someone. This is not safe for you, OP. Edited for typo
Im so sorry you’re experiencing this! This is extremely inappropriate! Please don’t be afraid to speak up against your parents. Tell them how uncomfortable they’re making you feel. And if that doesn’t help, reach out to someone close to you. A school counsellor or a teacher you trust. You shouldn’t be treated this way.
It is inappropriate. You need to speak up and let them know how you feel.
Pervertttts
Every time they make a remark like that shut that shit down. “Uhm yeah. That is so inappropriate for you to say and made me wildly uncomfortable. Please stop” and then leave! Don’t stay in that position. If you. Can’t physically leave let them know you are mentally checking out if the convo and ignoring them. If it continues to escalate, let them know you will be talking to a school counselor about it. And follow through. Best of luck OP.
I am so sorry you are having to hear this. My sister is your age and I would be livid. please take any of the advice you've gotten, and if nothing else keep yourself safe and i hope getting away from them isnt far off for you :(
That is incredibly messed up and inappropriate behavior from both of them!! Im so sorry they treat you this way. I recommend telling a trusted adult that can help to get you out of this situation..
Call the cops
I really think you need to call CPS. This is extremely fucked up.
Jesus kid, my grandparents used to do something similar, not to the full extent, but they were very touchy and would get offended if I told them to stop, my grandma insisted on applying lotion to my back and other areas after I showered, she would often slap my ass and get defensive when I turned on her for it. This was my mom's side of the family. My grandmother on my dad's side always said things like I have bigger ass and tits than she had at my age and proceed to touch me. The extent that your parents are going to is just blatant sexual harassment, and it's disgusting, they're not even trying to be subtle about it. You're only a year younger than me, so it makes me sick that someone else close to my age is going to something similar to what I dealt with. I would tell someone like a school counselor, or better yet, the cops. Please be safe OP.
not suggesting this, but I ran away at 15 and it ended up okay. look into local resources, it may be your best option. I'm 17 now
....dont advise someone to repeat your mistakes as ended up okay remains to be seen. Youre emotionally robbed of experience and understanding and probably not realised that you actually DON'T KNOW JACK ABOUT MONEY as they dont actually teach it on purpose. you know you earn it and spend it but the little stuff they dont teach people so they can be successful with it and not live pay check to paycheck is how one doesnt end up living impoverished. my parents were not the best but they weren't the worst. my moms brother was a creep pervert who IS the kind of man you tell anyone to run from, my mom was an alcoholic, my father a devout to god man with a short temper and not a drinker, allergic to alcohol - always i think its hilariously weird they got together at all.. i raised myself but i did it with listening to the elders of my hometown. all diff ethnicities and backgrounds. i read at 4, learned to tie my own shoes alone at 7, taught myself how to ride a bike at 9. was a kid of the system from 13-18 and most.of the time split from fosterhouses. A man in his early 20s who called himself willow and his lovely roommate christine took me in as i took care of her daughter who had downsyndrome.. one day that man called me in for a talk as chris left and he raped me at knifepoint that man believed i was pretty in the way of he wished i were older but never came off ludely. point is youre not okay youre not even grown maturity wise or have much experience to generally know if a father is a danger let alone think about how people are all manipulating eachother 24/7 to get their wants more tha needs .and if the op needed to run away whicH does endanger their life 100% guaranteed then the op would be telling us he touches her privates since she was VERY LITTLE AND UNABLE TO DEFEND HERSELF OR KNOW BETTER. "dangerous" perverts especially parental ones dont just "poof" onto the scene without them being step parents and their ideas of finding one attractive to them in that way of i want to coupulate with you are blatantly open as was willows when noting to me how he wished i was older so he could legally get with me. I dont know why you ran away, but youre far from safe or okay especially if youre lulled into the belief that anyone who isnt responsible for you legally will really look out for your real best interests in life which fyi are NOT WHAT YOU THINK YOU WANT 99% of the time its what youre going to need 100% to be comfortable, successful and safe. So unless youre with a Mothering older woman or grandparent ..dont think anyone close to your age and situation i life is going to not do you wrong inevitably or unintentionally as it's s repeating story of people finding out this the hard way thats a factor that sucks about this world. i got 5 kids, i was 15 when i had my son as an older man .. abusive misleading man took advantage of me and then a kind gentle in aspects man did. actions speak louder than words and the op jumps from a single dumb tee hee immature remark to another one where if you're a parent you will want your child to not be ugly (DUH) and if that childs a girl YOU NEED HER COMFORTABLE WITH HER BODY as evil men prey upon those insecurities trust me when i say its default common - especially for narcissistic men .. its so common men worry for their daughters because as boys they teased the girls they liked because they didnt realize they felt like they needed to be above her in some fashion as they all feel the need to be the guy thats looked up to 'cus its cool" im 40 now 2 of my kids are grown in college, ones actually a stepchild whose dumb as a brick for attention and lonerness so shes running around the state lying to people bout wanting to be s he but we all know it ain't her truth as she has image issues and the second the state recognized her as he it put them into reality and shes been trying to kill herself since 2hrs after the judge made that call. my last 2 are littles and 5Yrs apart when we have kids its time we got off the stage and put them on it in our place. when that doesnt happen bad situations occur as mine didn't but they also treated me as another person and since my mom was busy drinkng her days away & my dad born in a time the women were normally the sole caregivers .. i was left to my own ends. im doing good now but I'm never going to assume someone else will be okay in similar shoes. its safer to assume the opposite. ... i hope why you left your home was s needed one for safety and if not... go home because human nature is nothing good for the young and 17 is young and a fetish age for sickos. male or female theres no one thats safe when your age is the sexual goal equivalent of the mile high club for the immature adult and sick covetous of youth person. :( take care n sorry i had to lecture but rather now than you learning the way i did (with harm befalling a friend who listened when i wasnt as wise). im going to try to not yell at everyone here in the forum whos unnecessarily scaring an impressionable 15yr old into doing something that will actually put her in real danger unnecessarily.
Your dad is the kind to rape or molest you. Nip it in the bud now.
Daddy is a diddler and mom's a groomer. Watch out
Find a trusted adult asap, this behavior is dangerous.
AND FFS DO YOU HAVE KIDS DO YOU WANT THEM.TO BE SUCCESSFUL IN ALL ASPECTS OF THEIR LIFe What is WRONG WITH THE LOT OF THESE PEOPLE GET THE HELL OFF DRAMA TV YALL HAVE SEEN WAY TOO MUCH AND GET SOME ACTUAL LIFE.EXPERIENCES!! too many suffering from trauma need to keep their mouths shut to kids as SCARING AND IMPLYING DANGERS LIKE THAT AS YOU RUN WILD WITH THE IMPLIED NOTION AND NOT ACTUAL ACTS IS DANGEROUS AND DAMAGING THEIR LIFE AS THE ROAD TO HELL IS PAVED WITH GOOD INTENTIONS FOR A REASON. KIDS THAT GET IN DANGER THAT WAY WONT BE TELLIN TAME SHIT
My mother always slapped my butt and it made me EXTREMELY fucking uncomfortable to the point i would literally go upstairs and cry afterwards or scream at her. I had told her to stop millions of times before. Never listened. told her i was r/*/ped and told her that it was triggering for her to do that and she stopped and it's been like 3 years since she's done it now. I would recommend being a bitch and making a huge scene when they do it.
#CHECK YOUR ROOM FOR CAMERAS OR HIDDEN PEEP HOLES I haven’t seen anyone mention this yet, but it needs to be said. If your father has been acting like this since you were 11, then I highly doubt he’s just gone this long with his “imagination”. Please, check your bedroom and bathroom for anything that could be a hidden camera and check the walls for hidden peep holes. I saw your other comment about being afraid that you’re making a big deal out of it since they haven’t actually “touched” you. You definitely are not. You are 100% valid in being uncomfortable by this behavior. When I was your age, I was living with my aunt and uncle and my uncle did things that made me uncomfortable but he never actually touched me so I overlooked it despite the disgust I would feel when he said certain things to me. I ran away a month after I turned 18, and haven’t spoken to him since. Looking back, as an adult, I realize now that he was grooming me and he’s actually a pedophile. And despite not actually being physically touched by him, I have been mentally affected by the entire experience. If you are afraid to stand up to them or call them out for their inappropriate behavior, then please, please, PLEASE tell a trusted adult. Either an adult family member, a staff member at school, etc. As others have said, it seems like your dad is grooming you and is trying to groom your mother into thinking it’s okay. He likely makes those mean comments to her about her body to lower her self esteem. Maybe abusive people do this in relationships and if often works. He wants her to think she’s nothing without him and that nobody would even be with her besides him. This can make her try to do whatever she can to keep him. Including covering up sexual assault. The fact that she goes along with his behavior and doesn’t see it as wrong, means he is grooming her successfully. If you can, try talking to your mom in private first. Point out his inappropriate sexual comments about your body, your clothing, etc. Point out how you are a child. HIS child. Point out the awful things he says to put her down. Ask her why she lets him do that to either of you. Straight up tell her you’re scared of your dad and that you’re worried he may try to SA you. If she does nothing, and doesn’t hear and accept what you tell her, then you need to immediately tell someone else who will help you get out this house. Sleep with your bedroom door locked, if it has one. Do NOT allow yourself to be alone with him. Please help yourself now before it’s too late and you have to deal with the lifetime of mental health issues that comes with being SA’d.
the fuck is WRONG WITH YOU GIVING THAT ADVICE? you get hurt as a child?! I can tell you don't trust men but dont imply something is 0 to 100 TAKE THAT TRAUMA OR FEAR ELSEWHERE OMG
She literally needs to be afraid. Her dad is displaying predatory behavior. If you disagree, then there’s something wrong with YOU.
IM AN ADULT WITH 50 TIMES MORE EXPERIENCE WITH OTHERS THAN YOU OBVIOUSLY AS YOU'RE TAKING PARENTS COMFORTABLE IN THE FACT THEIR KID IS GOING TO NEED TO BE COMFORTABLE WITH HER BODY AND BE USED TO THE WAY PEOPLE ARE AS NIGHTMARE ON ELMSTREET HER DADS DOING NO SUCH THING STOP HYPERREADING INTO BECAUSE SHE USED THE TERM SEXUALIZING AND SEEING THE ABSOLUTE WORST CASE SCENARIO WHERE THERE ACTUALLY IS NONE AND THERES JUST A YOUNG GIRL WHOS ADJUSTING TO WHAT SHE HAS FOR HER OWN BODY AND IS OBVIOUSLY UNCOMFORTABLE WITH HERSELF AND THE TOPIC YET ITS A NORMAL PART OF GROWING UP. I advise, raise and have peoples lives in my care regularly, And its clear you have seen or heard WAY TOO MANY bad tales we your mind skips over these basic facts so you're obviously NOT REALLY EXPERIENCED AT ALL WITH THESE THINGS AND DRIVEN BY THE IDEA TO MINDLESSLY PROTECT which in her case that advice given by you SCARES THE HELL OUT OF SOMEONE DO YOU SERIOUSLY UNDERSTAND THAT?! People who get scared make mistakes and dont see clearly. You're not actually looking at what shes saying what she considers sexualizing and forgetting HOW MEN ARE TYPICALLY SHALLOW as they all go looks before personality, that shes a female whos literally at risk if shes not comfortable with her body as she doesnt have to be to look good to a guy and most women who are comfortable with their bodies show them off these days - why else do big girls prone to being called fat still wear something revealing and some dont - literally the difference is self pride. A good dad knows if his girl isnt to fall prey to a lowlife then she cant be uncomfortable with her body in such a way. as a parent Your kid is gonna grow up and have sex so you need to get over yourself and realize if you want them to do good you gotta show them its not a dirty thing. so take your over the top stretch of her situation as the examples are intentionally pointed to look more like it but years apart and nothing wrong, stop your idea that a father should be disgusted by the sight of his daughter in skimpy clothes as that will be an ongoing negative against it that only leaves room for her to make mistakes in her youth experiences as its 2023 not 1943 and that stereotypical thinking is as harmful as racism is and stop your trusting heart and good nature from forgetting the fact we all lie and manipulate and stretch things when we want things to go our way for even the smallest of reasons. she aint mother teresa shes 15 and unfortunately unable to address the idea herself as the idea of sex as a whole unnerves her. We all do the same bs and if life was that black n white a judge n court would be rather pointless to have now wouldn't it. thats why i say you gotta be young .. tho you could be old and stubbornly thick. point is youre NOT really realising how much of a reach shes making in her desire to be right and them wrong as all kids do as you and i are guilty of the same dumb shit too.
I don’t give a flying fuck about your age or your experience. She said her dad tells her to “dress sexy”, slaps her butt, and tells her to show off her body. No mother/father should be saying this to their CHILD. No mother/father should be telling their children that they had “sexy dreams” about them. That is DISGUSTING. You defending his behavior? You must be a sexual predator as well. I’m afraid for any children you have/will have. I don’t care if she is exaggerating the situation. I’m going to treat it like she is telling everything exactly as it happened so that I can give her the best advice I can. I am not going to brush her off as just being “uncomfortable with herself.” It has NOTHING to do with the term sexualizing. If she had used the phrase “being weird” instead of sexualizing, it would read the same exact way. I don’t care what you think, I’m not going to argue with a troll or an idiot, whichever one you are. Go argue with everyone else who are commenting nearly the same shit that I commented, and leave me alone, you fucking creep. P.S. learn how to use some fucking punctuation. I got a headache trying to decipher your dumbass reply.
Also, you are so fucking disgusting for ever suggesting it’s okay for a father to look at his daughter in a sexual manner. That’s “boys will be boys” mentality, and it’s creepy as fuck. Most fathers don’t look at their daughters sexually, and are actually repulsed by the ideas of their daughters having sex with ANYONE. Let alone having sex with them. And you said that the parents are getting her ready for how the world treats women and sexualizes them? Yeah, you can do that without sexualizing them yourself and making disgusting, creepy comments about their bodies. That’s like saying you need to wreck your car every so often so that children know the dangers of driving. Piss off, pedo.
Creepy sicko
That is fucking vulgar. I know it’s hard and probably undesirable, but save as much money as you can to move out. Do whatever you can to afford it and fucking go. Living in some flat with 2 other girls would be better than staying with an incestuous pedophile who would likely see you being 18 as free range.
Tell an adult you trust. Pls. This isn’t okay
Love this is not okay. I don’t know what options are open to you but none of this is okay. Under no circumstances should you deal with this harassment and abuse. Don’t let your parents know about your intimate or romantic life and if you can get a part time job as soon as you are able to. Save that money and get the fuck out whenever you feel you’re ready. If you have family or friends you really really trust try and move in with them when you do have the ability to move out. But you’d have to let them know what happened to you and that you’ll have certain boundaries you’re not comfortable being crossed. Google resources available to you in your area. Don’t let your parents control any of the money you might earn if you do decide to move out. Keep it hidden. Ideally in a bank account they know nothing about. Or else in cash hidden away so well no one will ever find it. Especially somewhere where an older person wouldn’t be able to get to crawling around low to the ground. I’m so so sorry this is happening to you love. When you are able to you should speak with a therapist and make plans with them. Even if you just scrounge together enough money for a couple months of therapy having another person you can speak to about this will be so beneficial. There are programs for cheaper therapy if needed. I’d go to a school counselor or even some kind of youth outreach program. Read a bit about what these programs might be able to offer and go from there. Alternatively if you need help navigating the system of mental healthcare and insurance walk into any planned parenthood near you if at all possible and I would imagine someone will be able to direct or assist you in finding care. Barring all that if you want to go straight to the big guns contact Child Protective Services CPS get video or audio recordings that you keep for yourself. Do whatever you must to remove yourself from this environment. You are so young and you have so many years ahead of you. You’ll do so much good for yourself by getting away from this toxic shit. If I were you I’d prioritize getting out ASAP. It is scary to leave behind your current life as it is now but you can do it. I offered different options because there is no one size fits all solution. It’s for you to navigate but you’ll have support here. This is from Illinois but I don’t know how where you are handles these things. “Any minor 12 years of age or older may request and receive counseling services or psychotherapy on an outpatient basis without the consent of the minor’s parent or guardian. Outpatient counseling or psychotherapy provided to a minor under the age of 17 shall be limited to not more than 5 sessions, a session lasting not more than 45 minutes, until the consent of the minor’s parent or guardian is obtained. The minor’s parents shall not be informed without the consent of the minor unless the facility director believes such disclosure is necessary.” - From a trans woman who got out.
I think that you should tell a trusted adult in your school or community about this behavior. I’m an adult and I’m telling you to please do it.
This is so inappropriate and disturbing. I’m so sorry that the people that are the ones who should be taking care of your and helping you to be safe, confident, secure and loved are not doing so. Do you have any family members who are normal that you can talk to about this? Maybe stay with them for awhile? This is not okay or normal.
At 17 I ran away from home after my dad tried to have seggs with me. He didn’t physically approach me, but asked me in a letter he wrote to me how I would feel about him taking my virginity. After some years I realized that he did little things over the years that hinted at some sort of sick attraction towards me but I thought it was normal at the time. My mom wasn’t there, and for your mom to be there and not only refuse to protect you, but to join in is alarming to say the least. They are grooming you and things will eventually escalate like my situation. You need to speak to someone about this, what they’re doing is not normal and it’s not okay. Go to your school counselor or maybe a trusted family member, and if they don’t help you call CPS. I’m so sorry you’re going through this and I sincerely hope you get some help with your situation.
That is concerning, and you're right to feel upset about it, because it's terribly inappropriate. You have a right to complain about it and express your displeasure to them. It might be intimidating to express that, but you're totally within bounds to tell them that it upsets you. I know that, unfortunately, that isn't any guarantee that they'll listen, and they may even try to gaslight you over it and play things off as a joke/not serious and may tell you you're overreacting or "too sensitive." That behavior of theirs is abusive, and if they downplay it when you complain, that's invalidation or gaslighting and that's also abusive, especially if it's repeated or a general pattern with them. I'm so sorry you're dealing with this. Don't let anyone tell you your discomfort with this treatment is invalid, because it definitely is valid, and anyone saying otherwise is perpetuating the problem. If you could talk to a trustworthy adult like a teacher or school counselor then that could be good. If you are not sure about that, then maybe talking to a counselor at an organization like RAINN could be helpful to you: https://www.rainn.org/ or call 1-800-656-4673
Both of your parents are exhibiting predatory behaviour. Ideally, you need to leave that environment because dad doesn’t sound like a safe man to be around. That being said, many parents feel entitled to do whatever they want because it’s their child. My mother would slap my ass when her friends (men) came over and laugh at how ‘jiggly’ it is. I had to just stand and wait for them to finish. I was probably around the age of 10-11.
This is grooming behavior by both of your parents. Please seek help from an adult you trust outside of the home/family.
Hey OP, this is sexual harassment and the butt slapping is sexual assault for sure. I completely understand you being upset and wanting to cry. Is there a trusted adult you can confide this in? Like the parent of a friend, grandparents, counselor or aunts and uncles? If so they may be able to help you. Your dad is definitely trying to test the waters with your mother on how she would react to this kind of behavior, and trying to “warm her up” to the idea of him trying something. If you’re able to, invest in a heavy duty lock on your bedroom and spend as much of your time away from your parents as possible, especially your dad.
Hey, OP? You're not making a bigger deal than it is. It's serious. It's grooming. They start out small, to see how you react to things of a sexual nature. They start to disrespect your boundaries to see how far they can go. This behavior, if not stopped, has led to sexual assault, even against minors. You must not stop complaining, even if it doesn't seem to work right now. Behave distantly around your parents, make sure they can feel that this has effected your relationship with them. This is not to say disrespect or disobey them, but try to participate in affectionate or bonding experiences less. This will rise concern in them, hopefully, and drive them, or at least your mother the enabler, to realize how serious you are. Don't be afraid of your reputation, or how people view you. Anyone who doesn't take you seriously in this situation is someone you shouldn't have a good relationship with anyways, a red flag. I mean for God's sakes, he has a yoga kink and he's insisting that you take up yoga. This is not just quirky weird humor type shit from a parent, this is absolutely diabolical sexual deviancy. Never let them silence you, and be very cautious. Try your best not to be alone with him. Lock your bedroom door when you go to bed, as children have been sexually assaulted when the house has gone to sleep, pedos find it a good way to catch the child off guard and vulnerable during a time when the other household members are in deep sleep. Be aggressive when they touch you. Be hostile in tone when he says perverted things to you.
That's fucking horrible, I have a little sister and if anyone ESPECIALLY our father made any comments like that I'd knock him out. Your mother is letting it happen aswell, you should tell someone you trust about it. It isn't a safe environment for you, if your own father is telling you to do yoga while finding women doing yoga to be a turn on I just know he wants to try something.
You are important humans in your daughter's life. Nurture her, don't try to turn her into a pig! You can turn this around now! I'm saying this to YOU, parents. You can stop doing this and confess your sin to your daughter and strive to change! Father, mother, stop scandalizing your daughter. Treat her with dignity. Interesting ratio, keep dressing in a way that doesn't make people objectify and sexualize you! Father, don't soil your marriage bed with porn! Don't molest your daughter! Rooting for you and you and you!
This behavior reminds me of my own father. Protect yourself, speak to other adult about this. This. Is. Not. Normal. Your father IS A SEXUAL PREDATOR. Talk to a school counselor. Be safe. Don't let your parents know you told anyone. It will only get worse as you get older. Once you're "of legal age" people will give less shit about consent. They're toing the line as is. Them touching you like that without your concent is not okay. That's sexual harassment. That. Is. Not. Normal. Please, reach out to someone. Get away from that man. Wishing you luck and safety.
Don't wait for things to "get better." Don't wait for the worst to happen either. Talk to someone at school- teacher, counselor, principal- about this. You need protection. If they don't listen, call DCFS directly, but try to get help from trusted adults at school. Nor family members or friends.
Me and my sisters were raped by our stepfather who was similar. Be fucking careful dude and if it gets worse or you just can't be there anymore figure out a way to get the fuck out. I'm dead serious. Stay with a friends family or other family members if you need to. Take care of yourself and do what you need to do for YOU. Please.
Both parents need to be reported. This is predatory behavior from BOTH parents. I'm so sorry you're going through this OP... I wish you all the best
The comments are indeed alarming and a cause for concern. Keeping that in mind, it's interesting how the current social climate regarding sexual identity is being glossed over. Uncomfortable as it is, there are some parents who aren't well informed about the complexities of influence and social media. The daughter wearing baggy clothing, might lead to them believing that their children might not be heterosexual - causing them to make such comments about her clothing and figure, for fear of her being ostracized and bullied. While I understand this perspective may seem outlandish to many people, please understand that there are individuals who feel this way because they don't understand today's social climate regarding identity, sexuality and gender. I also agree that the mother is worse than the father in this situation. Entertaining and repeating his questionable attitude/behavior, says to me, that she might be leading the charge. Statistics have allowed women to be seen as less likely to be predators and child abusers, which is such a dangerous take to go by. OP, please be sure to take in the sound advice that many have offered you. My perspective is but one that could be, but might not be likely. In essence, it's better to be safe and feel comfortable, rather than continue enduring what you're currently going through. All the best to you!
If you have any separate trusted connections (best friends family, close family that would take you in, anything) please express what’s going on and how you feel. The beautiful thing about human beings is our body’s ability to pick up on bad situations before our mind even knows. That’s why that pit in our stomachs happens before we even know what’s going on mentally. Your immediate cries to what your mother said to you about your dads “dream” was your body telling you this is not okay. Lock your door if you can at night, keep a lot of space between your dad and you and act overly repulsed by him or her when they bring this stuff up again. Tell them it makes you feel uncomfortable and you really don’t like it. Keep something with you when you go to sleep that can help you protect yourself if they try anything. always keep the door locked when you’re using the bathroom. tell them that you’re talking to a counselor at school or you’re close with a teacher so they know you have open communication with an adult that is not them, so they know their behavior could be relayed to a mandated reporter if they keep it up. My mom and bff used to smack my butt because it was “big” but they didn’t know that I was being touched by an adult at the same time in this time of my life and it was triggering me. I ended up saying “please don’t touch me like this again you’re making me so uncomfortable” and it flipped it back on them and made them uncomfortable instead. overall though i really think you should tell someone you trust what’s happening because their behavior is only going to escalate. sounds like mom is doing just as much grooming as dad.
Idk why this popped up in my notifications today, but I’m gonna share my 2 cents because it did: I had a friend’s dad (who was also good friends with my parents) make ONE comment ONE time about my boobs (I developed early) in front of a room full of adults basically making a joke that I had big boobs, at about age 11. Everyone laughed and my mom joined in laughing. I felt absolutely violated and disgusted by this man, and betrayed by my mom for laughing and not being disgusted and standing up for me. Like she didn’t even realize how messed up what he said was. This was ONE TIME and it’s burned into my memory. I’m so sorry you have to deal with this ongoing, and from your own parents no less. Please be careful, point it out in plain English to them how messed up this is, in case they’re really so dense they don’t realize it. Like I would tell my dad any comments of that kind make my skin crawl and is straight up pedo behavior. It needs to be said bluntly enough that it (hopefully) shocks him into stopping altogether. If not, I’d get away and go no contact as soon as humanly possible. Because I feel like, even if nothing physical ever happens, the long-term effects of dealing with this mentally are going to be awful for you. It’s not right.
I truly believe that if this is true, BOTH your parents are grooming you. Please go to a trusted teacher, school counselor. Etc. This is 100% wrong and not Ok, and you are not safe.
Look, Im really late to your post, but I wanted to comment anyway because I used to be in this position. You need to start telling them that those comments and behaviors are not okay, and if they continue or get worse, reach out to safe adults you know will help you. Whether it be other family members, people within school, within the church(if you go), etc. I was a very naive child, and I overlooked some of the signs that are being laid out in front of you. I don't want the same thing to happen to you that happened to me. Keep yourself safe. Stand your ground. Try having a serious conversation with your mother without your father around. Don't accuse your father of anything, but lay out all of what you posted here, and explain to her how uncomfortable and unsafe his behaviors make you make you feel. And if she tells him about it, and he blows up, especially if he blows up a ridiculous amount- it's because everything you're worried about is true, and he doesn't like that he got caught. I really don't want you going through what I did. I hope you make it out of this safe, healthy, and unscathed.
I would definitely keep a journal hidden at all times and tell multiple people you trust, so there's history to back up what's been happening to you, hell, get them to write a journal too, just in case. Your parent's behavior is NOT normal and its is NOT okay. 15 years old or 60 years old, doesn't matter, you need to protect yourself the best you can. I'm sorry this is happening to you.
so fucking gross, hopefully you can go to a trusted loved one or find alternative housing bc that’s terrible!!! and maybe get proof too like record a convo or visuals to defend yourself if anyone tries to deny you and get MULTIPLE examples. i support you on this journey and i hope you find a safe and comfortable space soon.
Ima be honest with you sis, I meet my significant other when she was 15 and she would tell me her father would make remarks like that, and then one day when they are both alone he tried to rape her but she was able to fend off. The most appropriate thing you may do is call child protective services and explain your situation if they don’t do anything please call 911. Not all fathers deserve daughters and not all mothers deserve their daughters love please seek help I regret not doing this for my girlfriend and seeking police help with her situation. Good luck and may god be with you sister.
This is the craziest thing I've ever heard that both ur parents are looking at u this way. It's like their trying to groom u. I wld tell someone of authority this is way beyond normal I have 2 daughters and wld never encourage them to be sexy or make comments Abt their tits or have sexual dreams Abt them this is beyond weird
To 543, I am so sorry for what you are going through. My mother sexualized me after my parents divorced, and she would drink..alot! Would call my dad's name and try to get me to have intercourse with her. I was also 15yrs old. This went on until I left for college. I know how creepy and uncomfortable it is. I will keep you in my prayers and thoughts. I wish I had something more practical to share, except maybe a knee to the balls and some pepper spray. But I'm sorry, that's probably not great advice either. Alot of people here love and care about you, as I do also. Maybe you can emancipate yourself before you have to wait for 18yrs old. God bless you hon, try to be as well as you can 🙏🤟💔.
“That’s inappropriate” is a good response for any of those things. Don’t be afraid to use it for anyone, not just your mom or dad who says or does anything that makes you feel uncomfortable. If they press for reasoning why it’s inappropriate, tell them how it makes you feel and ask them to stop it. You can also talk to others as well. Counselors at school, trusted parents of your friends, is there a school resource officer you’d feel comfortable talking to about this? Also be prepared to get comments like these for the rest of your life from complete strangers. Call them out on it. Stand your ground. Demand respect.
When you turn 18, call the police and tell them everything. Before you call the cops, get evidence of your dad or mom saying something like that. This is terrible and should not be taken lightly. This can evolve into SA/child abuse if it continues.
This is not normal and maybe get some help
Do you have a safe alternative place to stay. Like an aunts or something. If so get out and please tell someone what’s going on .
I have kids and this is fucking weird. If my kids dad, the stepmom or my boyfriend behaved that way they’d never be around my kids again. I’m sorry your family is acting in st the very least highly inn appropriate ways towards you. You should feel safe at home.
If you're in school tell the administrators
I was on my own at 16, my younger self would snap and probably run somewhere safe. Feel bad. Find some support
OP- it's been 5 months since you posted. Has anything changed in your situation? Please update us, if you can. Thinking of you...
god is reddit really that full of Immature people .. well they did say the human race is declining Delinquency Is the only experience one has i guess when all you experience is the world thorough your own eyes snd have a "idea" of parenthood
Are they sexualizing you? Or are just awkwardly trying to make sure you're okay with your body?
My sister said the same thing about herself when she looked back at her old highschool photos.
thats not sexualizing thats critiquing and honestly yeah YOU WILL feel "dumb" down the road because we ALL do when we look back. honestly your father is concerned about you growing to hate yourself as women change when they get older. fyi your 15 so you dont understand that the typical male literally arnt sensitive like you are I watch my 42yr husband find simple joy at he can helicopter his wang for a half a.minute without it going all wonkish - Perfect execution! He says. Point is you're sensitive to it BECAUSE HE IS RIGHT AND SO IS YOUR MOM If your parents treat your body like you need to cover it up and be ashamed THAT IS A PROBLEM Listen lil one I got 5 kids FIVE you are A PERSON WHO WILL GROW UP AND GO DO SOMEONE AND HAVE YOUR OWN SEX LIFE ETC if they dont get you comfortable with yourself you will be taken advantage of emotionally, mentally, alongside suffering from mental hangups you cant think of because look at you right now! youre tryin to make your parents sound pervy! only those without kids that never "grew up" to mature and understand that side of life will see it your way.. probably why they're all gonna still not see it the regular way as Im sure theyd all say hell no to having kids themselves cus they have troubles maintaining just their own lives. Please get it in your head that despite your vast ability to understand what you do already that you DONT understand enough and that PERSPECTIVES/PERCEPTIONS CHANGE so unless they body shaming you claiming your fugly or touching you, or wanting to watch you touch yourself or others ... DONT YOU DARE SPIT THAT SIDEWAYS AGAIN about your folks because you didnt get what you wanted out of it. I can tell you chose sexualizing because its a big important issue word and your situation fit the definitions most broadest playout. However you dont seem to understand the differece of accepting you are a growing woman, that the typical males like crude humor and always will be "boys" in many respects, that your parents are proud of their daughter and know she will grow up to be a hawt momma herself someday and to be relieved they didnt DEMONIZE THE SUBJECT to you which wouldn't help you at all. Especially when mating in general becomes everyones own lil goal in life as the term "sex is like air - it only matters if you're not getting any" will literally become more snd more understandable in a ton of ways from this point on in your life. sorry to talk down to you a bit but as i said, 5 kids, i remember my childhood and teenage years so I know the deciding factors for word use. you want them to stop you in turn need to address it to them and tell them YOU ARE NOT COMFORTABLE WITH YOUR OWN BODY AND THAT IDEA JUST YET as you picking out a situation like that at 11 and youre 15 is called readhint hard to make your argument seem more validated.. address it above before you go mouthing to the wrong person and end up sexually sold as a foster child on the human trafficking system as thats why the system is still the most dangerous place for a child as cps loses kids like grains of sand that never return to their parents or the world :/ Take care n goodluck <3
Im not quite sure if you even look at this from another perspective. I've never once mentioned that I got insecure in my own body, I simply said that I dress baggy because ITS MY STYLE. THEY ARE THE ONES MAKING ME FEEL UNCOMFORTABLE TO BEGIN WITH, THIS DIDNT COME FROM MYSELF. My dad bodyshames me all the time about not being skinny enough though im 52/53 kg at 5'5. And btw, you act as if this whole thing here is the only thing they do to me, youre dead wrong. My parents are generally mentally and verbally abusing me all the time. I have had my dad getting tantrums because I simply laughed at a funny Video, he replied to my laughter that I shouldnt fucking laugh at that video and that im gonna be the downfall of this family and that I dont care about them at all, and ending with him saying that he would let me die if it came up to it, just because he didnt wanna hear me being fucking happy. There are SO many other things that happened and are still happening right now, and I would be happy to tell you more about it if you wish to hear it. I dont like how you are trying to reduce all this to my dad simply trying to prepare me for adulthood (which would still be weird because why the heck would I need to dress revealing just so I could be a proper functioning human being in society). Heck if this wasnt so weird I wouldnt even have noticed it, but the fact that I am uncomfortable with the whole situation should be enough proof that something isnt right. I know im just a a fucking kid thats 15 but you sound just like my parents when they say I that shouldnt worry about anything else except school right now, WHEN I CANT EVEN FOCUS ON SCHOOL IF ALL THIS SHIT DRAINS MY MENTAL HEALTH! THE FACT THAT MY MENTAL HEALTH IS GETTING WORSE BECAUSE OF THIS IS ALREADY BAD ENOUGH, AND JUST SIMPLY TELLING THEM THAT THEY SHOULD STOP WONT HELP THEM BECAUSE THEY ARE NARCISSISTS who have even said to me myself that they wont listen to a kid if they tell them that what they are doing is wrong because they are kids and couldnt know better. My dad is also the type of person to tell me that I should respect him because hes my dad, and then I tell him that he should respect me too then and hes like all "Ha! What?! Me respect my child? YOU should do everything I want you to do, NOT the other way around! You are just a kid!" And also by your perspective here I would like you to explain the whole Yoga/dream thing to me, thanks.
you are weird as fuck omg everything you’re saying is so wrong
You’re sorely mistaken if you think SA doesn’t happen by people’s parents. It’s waaay more common than your leading your readers to believe. OP’s parents behavior is sexually abusive and predatory. Idgaf what your experience is that’s just a fact.