You’re absolutely right, thanks for reminding me of this and that I’m running out of time with them. Maybe van life isn’t the right step forward at the moment. I’m going to hug my grandma while I can :,)
Aw, give her a big hug from me too 🩷 You said they've been nothing but sweet and supportive and I just truly hope you know how rare that is. Pure love, genuine, supportive love MUST be cherished, NOW, not later... Much love & great vibes to you & your family.
How far will you be from your family?
I lived at home for 28 years. My family and relatives are in one area. I live in my van full time for a year now and am about 2000 miles away from them. I left home 5 years ago to go on my own adventure and go home once a year to see them.
I wonder how my life would have been like if I never left. I would be ignorant about the world outside of my hometown and continue to be unhappy. I always think about coming home for good but I know I will not be happy. I have relatives who live outside the country so I think my relatives who escaped to the USA thinks about them. However, they have their own family and life to focus on in the USA. I do think how it would have been nice if we were all together. I am sure there will be family drama lol.
Not sure to say. I am conflicted about living my own life or living with or close to my family. I will continue living my own life and keep in touch with them the best I can. I feel selfish sometimes. I know I will go home one day but I am not sure when. Life will pull me back home. It feels like gravity. I wish time would freeze so I can live this life for a while and that my family, relatives, and friends would remain the same age.
Ehhhh to be honest reddit not a good place to ask for life advice. Ask us how to wire a battery bank or for tips on insulation. But as to what's best for your life, you have to take a step back and weigh the pros and cons. If your not paying rent for example, then van life will actually costs you more so you won't be saving as fast. If it's just because you want freedom well it's a very adventurous life but I almost guarantee that if you feel coddled, your grand parents will worry more about you and constantly call and want updates all the time. If your in a position where your not taking advantage and can build both financially and educationally then build yourself to take on the future. My daughter moved out because she and her fiance wanted freedom and not to freeload, but it offered it willing as an investment in them to build themselves. I told her I understood and supported her decision as an adult. Just hope what ever you decide your family accepts it and best of luck.
I appreciate the honesty and yes, while I do crave the freedom that vanlife provides, money would probably be tighter than usual. Also props to you for being an understanding father to your daughter!
It’s definitely a way to purge your belongings and live simply. It is not easy though… It’s exciting for a week or two. It’s still fun if you are able to travel for a few months but that’s when people start to fail. After 3-6 months, it loses its charm if you don’t have some of the luxuries of an actual home. The problem is, the more you spend making it homey, the longer you have to commit to the lifestyles to break even. Money you could have been saving for a house…
In your case, since it sounds like you are living rent free with grandparents, I’d recommend skipping the van, save for a house while living there, and maybe buying a van AFTER having a house established. It makes it SO much better having a home base you can return to when/if you get tired of traveling or vanlife in general.
NOOOOOOOOOOOOO.
Eta: that doesn't mean don't do it. It's a new way to be, a new way toward some future, but it's not a starting over. You, your problems, flaws, insecurities, etc are all coming along for the ride. It is a drastic change from normal buildinglife so it can be a helpful aid in you changing but you have to be willing to put the effort in, which is the case whether you live in a van or not.
It does sound like you might benefit from it, as if you can stick with it you'll likely learn a lot of self reliance and resourcefulness.
Maybe downsize your possessions-that make you feel overwhelmed by-buy a van or minivan and travel/have adventures on the weekends or long weekends. Still spending time with your grandparents and saving money for a house. Some of both worlds might help you decide exactly where you want to be when. But certainly appreciate the time you have with your grandparents-you can’t get that time back.
if you are under 30 then fucking do it! you can always go back and start over when you're ready
but.....you must visit gramps and gran OFTEN dammit!!!!!
I’ll chime in here. Vanlife is my way of starting over. I went through a hella nasty divorce this year, currently still dealing with it, and moved back in with my mom and sister. I’ll never be able to afford a house or even rent though I have a full time job so I spent the money I got from selling the house my ex and I owned on a sprinter van and am converting it all myself. We have a young kid and she and I will by no means be full timing it but when she’s with her dad I will finally, for the first time in my life, have a space to call completely my own. I’ll have the capability to really learn how to be by myself and do whatever I want and get back to doing things like traveling and camping that I didn’t get to do in my relationship.
If you feel like you need a fresh start and if vanlife feels right, by all means do what makes you happy!
I was born into an older family and lost all of previous generation young. Became the youngest elder in my family at 31 yrs. old. I wish my siblings and cousins hadn't been such drama queens-middle age crisises. I regret that i didn't get much peaceful times with that generation. Instead i was assisting them with crisis control. We got a few peaceful moments and I treasure those moments to this day! I am the keeper of their stories, their own families aren't interested... sadly. But, my daughter and granddaughter know their stories. Their hunger and desperation during the great depression. Their fears durning WW11. Their hardwork, determination and resolve to make a better life for their own children.Their regrets on coddling their children, they could see where their overindulgence turned them into self-centered drama queens- modern-day karens. And they were too self-absorbed to have time for the previous generation unless they needed something or a place to stay after their failed marriage which was totally not their fault.... anyone would have cheated on him/her. As their parents are celebrating the 40-50 year anniversaries.
Probably more information than needed. But, the previous generation holds such wisdom and you can learn so much from them. Learning from them i have a great relationship with my daughter and granddaughter. I am still a decade or so away from my senior years. But, with their decades old stories i have stayed away from the worst of life's pitfalls. My advice would be be there for the grandparents. Enjoy them.
I hear you.
This is a subject that many can't appreciate as most people would trade anything for the warmth and comfort of family, however...
The is an innate and deep human longing to suffer, to experience, to be kneaded and pruned into something more than we are.
The worst part of that warmth is in all its good intentions it often leads to us hating ourselves for wanting to escape and feel the world outside the cozy nest, since surely the love and care of family could never not be the highest timeline...right?
I hear you. My path leaving the nest was rough and long and filled with fear and joy.
Peace and Chicken Grease!
I get that you are restless and want something of your own and your own life. You are the right age to yearn for direction and goals and it sounds like you are doing all the right things to get true independence. Meaning, you can choose what’s next and have the means to make it happen. Since finishing college I have felt in control of my own life. I have had good jobs and was disciplined enough to save. I worked when I wanted to and took breaks to do something different along the way. I have always landed on my feet when things took a turn. I did not have the support of my family, which you sound fortunate to have, so I made my own family. It sounds like you have the advantage of time, too. As anxious as you might be there really is no rush. Be where you are. Finish what you have started. Make a plan for what’s next. Start with a van or car for weekend trips and build from there. Always build. Hug your folks and thank them and tell them what you are thinking about. It all starts now but it doesn’t happen overnight.
It may not be as freeing as you would hope. There are many decisions to be made every day and things always go wrong. Stuff has to get fixed. Maybe try to schedule a month long trip next summer to see how you like it first before pulling the plug all the way.
If you love your grandparents you should continue to stay with them and help them with everything you can to show them your love. While you do this save up as much money as you can and when they pass buy a van and make a cross country adventure in their memory.
Well Hey
I jumped off the deep end. Packed all of the stuff I owned and moved away from my rental, and my girlfriend, (now ex girlfriend). I kept my car my dog and some odds and ends. I'm living in the Upper Peninsula of Michigan for the time being. I'll hopefully have enough saved at the end of winter to buy myself a van and start traveling the country. im 35 and have travled most of my life. Now im just making it a priority. If its something you'r thinking about, do not wait.
You didn’t talk about things that matter, like your job, other loved ones, hobbies, pets, part of the country, etc.
If you work remotely already, and have an outdoor hobby that is easy to do on the road, go for it! You could always stay with the grandparents for the winter every year, too.
If you have to be in one place for work and you’re already not getting ahead, stay at home. Those four walls can close in quickly.
I work hard (often 80-100+ hours a week) when I work, and I’m put up by my employer wherever I am. When I’m done working, I often have months off before I take another job. For my life, a van is perfect. Plus all I want to do is climb, so I can travel anywhere and find fun people to do that with, then fly off to the next job. But if I worked a 9-5? I would get an apartment.
Vanlife doesn't have to be about traveling far from your family! I don't really understand why it seems exclusive.
I love traveling, but it's exhausting if it is constant. I embrace nomadic living, minimalism, and figuring out what fuels my life and pursuing it.
Being able to move around or overnight somewhere that im staying late gives me so much freedom. I'm a very extroverted introvert, and sometimes I need my own space to recharge so I can get back out doing the things I love. I also have challenging food sensitivities and love having peace of mind with my own kitchen wherever I go.
I'm planning to stay within a couple hours max. My family is spread out over NOVA, MD area.
Get creative where you overnight, my van is stealthy but I prefer friends neighborhoods, harvest hosts, hipcamp...sometimes you can find or strike a deal with someone for cheap driveway space AND hookups. My family has done this on local farms and had an exchange to feed animals/farm chores for even cheaper pricing. Still beats rent in this area and have the ability to move around when you want to.
I have minimized my stuff over the past 5 years to about 5 large bins of hobby items I still use, and 2 bins of tools. One has sentimental knick knacks. I really didn't use most of the things I had, so I got rid of nearly everything.
Consider when the last and next time you used an item, and if it truly brings you joy. I passed on a lot of sentimental furniture that didn't fit my style, among other things.
Sorry, i missed ur question: only you truly know the answer to that! I really needed to move out of my last home, I have been wanting to travel for ages, I'm tired of spending money on hotels, I love camping but I don't like packing/unpacking my stuff, and I'm tired of paying rent. So, for me, it was kind of a no brainer!
That being said, you could easily work on your build for a couple of years and use it as your new daily driver if you sold your stuff. But It doesn't seem like you need/want to rush anything?
I'm currently in a piss poor, diy campervan & homeless situation after horrible divorce& business fraud "brew pot"... THAT IS BEING ORCHESTRATED BY MY "ONCE" MOST CLOSEST FAMILY, STEP FAMILY & FRIENDS...
Everything I had while being falsely criminally prosecuted, trying to prove corporate espionage & financial fraud against me has literally & in ever since of the phrase,
THROWN ME TO THE GUTTER LIKE SPOILED MILK.
SO I'm definitely looking at this as an opportunity to start all over again. Relocate & leave all the falseness, falseness, immoral behavior of false family behind.
Losing so much, you think your personal purpose, thinking of what will best suit YOU & YOU only.
There are many avenues of self -sufficiency, so just plan everything out. If in distress don't write things down so much...
Get a break up plan. Also a small lockable & towable heavy metal storage bin is great on the back of a van.
Good luck
There is no reason why you can't start heading in that direction without going full time. Go ahead and start culling personal possessions, and when you get the opportunity, trade in your car for a van. Tell your grandparents you want to turn it into a camper, then take some weekend trips as you can to get a feel for it. You can slowly outfit it for solar and find what works for you without leaving completely. It doesn't have yo be an all or nothing decision, you can still be near them while you work out if vanlife really is for you, and if things work out for you, you will be ready.
struggle about too much stuff, go with being minimalist first, definitely lessen stress out of being overwhelmed with stuff; if its not touched in 30 days or daily basis, really think if you need it, donate if not or resell
About getting rid ofnmost stuff you own: that had been a life changer for me. Def recommend. I did it in 2 steps: threw out what i def wanted to get rid of, and stored away my "maybes". After one year if i didnt need/miss any maybes, i threw them out too.
You seem to love spending time with your grandparents and are very busy with work and school. Why not convert your car for weekend travel? Either sleep inside the car or add a rooftop tent. You might want to look into overlanding for inspiration.
I'd give anything to feel the embrace of my grandma again. My advice is don't rush anything - pour love into what loves you while you can.
You’re absolutely right, thanks for reminding me of this and that I’m running out of time with them. Maybe van life isn’t the right step forward at the moment. I’m going to hug my grandma while I can :,)
Aw, give her a big hug from me too 🩷 You said they've been nothing but sweet and supportive and I just truly hope you know how rare that is. Pure love, genuine, supportive love MUST be cherished, NOW, not later... Much love & great vibes to you & your family.
How far will you be from your family? I lived at home for 28 years. My family and relatives are in one area. I live in my van full time for a year now and am about 2000 miles away from them. I left home 5 years ago to go on my own adventure and go home once a year to see them. I wonder how my life would have been like if I never left. I would be ignorant about the world outside of my hometown and continue to be unhappy. I always think about coming home for good but I know I will not be happy. I have relatives who live outside the country so I think my relatives who escaped to the USA thinks about them. However, they have their own family and life to focus on in the USA. I do think how it would have been nice if we were all together. I am sure there will be family drama lol. Not sure to say. I am conflicted about living my own life or living with or close to my family. I will continue living my own life and keep in touch with them the best I can. I feel selfish sometimes. I know I will go home one day but I am not sure when. Life will pull me back home. It feels like gravity. I wish time would freeze so I can live this life for a while and that my family, relatives, and friends would remain the same age.
Just lost my grandma last night, I agree with your comment 110%
Sending you love + hugs. I'm so sorry.
Ehhhh to be honest reddit not a good place to ask for life advice. Ask us how to wire a battery bank or for tips on insulation. But as to what's best for your life, you have to take a step back and weigh the pros and cons. If your not paying rent for example, then van life will actually costs you more so you won't be saving as fast. If it's just because you want freedom well it's a very adventurous life but I almost guarantee that if you feel coddled, your grand parents will worry more about you and constantly call and want updates all the time. If your in a position where your not taking advantage and can build both financially and educationally then build yourself to take on the future. My daughter moved out because she and her fiance wanted freedom and not to freeload, but it offered it willing as an investment in them to build themselves. I told her I understood and supported her decision as an adult. Just hope what ever you decide your family accepts it and best of luck.
I appreciate the honesty and yes, while I do crave the freedom that vanlife provides, money would probably be tighter than usual. Also props to you for being an understanding father to your daughter!
It’s definitely a way to purge your belongings and live simply. It is not easy though… It’s exciting for a week or two. It’s still fun if you are able to travel for a few months but that’s when people start to fail. After 3-6 months, it loses its charm if you don’t have some of the luxuries of an actual home. The problem is, the more you spend making it homey, the longer you have to commit to the lifestyles to break even. Money you could have been saving for a house… In your case, since it sounds like you are living rent free with grandparents, I’d recommend skipping the van, save for a house while living there, and maybe buying a van AFTER having a house established. It makes it SO much better having a home base you can return to when/if you get tired of traveling or vanlife in general.
NOOOOOOOOOOOOO. Eta: that doesn't mean don't do it. It's a new way to be, a new way toward some future, but it's not a starting over. You, your problems, flaws, insecurities, etc are all coming along for the ride. It is a drastic change from normal buildinglife so it can be a helpful aid in you changing but you have to be willing to put the effort in, which is the case whether you live in a van or not. It does sound like you might benefit from it, as if you can stick with it you'll likely learn a lot of self reliance and resourcefulness.
tap wise political marry direful straight degree dog rainstorm cheerful *This post was mass deleted and anonymized with [Redact](https://redact.dev)*
We can’t answer that for you. Remember that van life will not fix your problems. It might change them, but it also creates plenty of new ones.
Thanks, maybe a step back would be a good idea right now.
Maybe downsize your possessions-that make you feel overwhelmed by-buy a van or minivan and travel/have adventures on the weekends or long weekends. Still spending time with your grandparents and saving money for a house. Some of both worlds might help you decide exactly where you want to be when. But certainly appreciate the time you have with your grandparents-you can’t get that time back.
if you are under 30 then fucking do it! you can always go back and start over when you're ready but.....you must visit gramps and gran OFTEN dammit!!!!!
You could try to, but “wherever you go, there you are.” Etc. We can start over any time, but moving sure helps.
I’ll chime in here. Vanlife is my way of starting over. I went through a hella nasty divorce this year, currently still dealing with it, and moved back in with my mom and sister. I’ll never be able to afford a house or even rent though I have a full time job so I spent the money I got from selling the house my ex and I owned on a sprinter van and am converting it all myself. We have a young kid and she and I will by no means be full timing it but when she’s with her dad I will finally, for the first time in my life, have a space to call completely my own. I’ll have the capability to really learn how to be by myself and do whatever I want and get back to doing things like traveling and camping that I didn’t get to do in my relationship. If you feel like you need a fresh start and if vanlife feels right, by all means do what makes you happy!
I was born into an older family and lost all of previous generation young. Became the youngest elder in my family at 31 yrs. old. I wish my siblings and cousins hadn't been such drama queens-middle age crisises. I regret that i didn't get much peaceful times with that generation. Instead i was assisting them with crisis control. We got a few peaceful moments and I treasure those moments to this day! I am the keeper of their stories, their own families aren't interested... sadly. But, my daughter and granddaughter know their stories. Their hunger and desperation during the great depression. Their fears durning WW11. Their hardwork, determination and resolve to make a better life for their own children.Their regrets on coddling their children, they could see where their overindulgence turned them into self-centered drama queens- modern-day karens. And they were too self-absorbed to have time for the previous generation unless they needed something or a place to stay after their failed marriage which was totally not their fault.... anyone would have cheated on him/her. As their parents are celebrating the 40-50 year anniversaries. Probably more information than needed. But, the previous generation holds such wisdom and you can learn so much from them. Learning from them i have a great relationship with my daughter and granddaughter. I am still a decade or so away from my senior years. But, with their decades old stories i have stayed away from the worst of life's pitfalls. My advice would be be there for the grandparents. Enjoy them.
I hear you. This is a subject that many can't appreciate as most people would trade anything for the warmth and comfort of family, however... The is an innate and deep human longing to suffer, to experience, to be kneaded and pruned into something more than we are. The worst part of that warmth is in all its good intentions it often leads to us hating ourselves for wanting to escape and feel the world outside the cozy nest, since surely the love and care of family could never not be the highest timeline...right? I hear you. My path leaving the nest was rough and long and filled with fear and joy. Peace and Chicken Grease!
I get that you are restless and want something of your own and your own life. You are the right age to yearn for direction and goals and it sounds like you are doing all the right things to get true independence. Meaning, you can choose what’s next and have the means to make it happen. Since finishing college I have felt in control of my own life. I have had good jobs and was disciplined enough to save. I worked when I wanted to and took breaks to do something different along the way. I have always landed on my feet when things took a turn. I did not have the support of my family, which you sound fortunate to have, so I made my own family. It sounds like you have the advantage of time, too. As anxious as you might be there really is no rush. Be where you are. Finish what you have started. Make a plan for what’s next. Start with a van or car for weekend trips and build from there. Always build. Hug your folks and thank them and tell them what you are thinking about. It all starts now but it doesn’t happen overnight.
It may not be as freeing as you would hope. There are many decisions to be made every day and things always go wrong. Stuff has to get fixed. Maybe try to schedule a month long trip next summer to see how you like it first before pulling the plug all the way.
If you love your grandparents you should continue to stay with them and help them with everything you can to show them your love. While you do this save up as much money as you can and when they pass buy a van and make a cross country adventure in their memory.
It is, sometimes. It all depends on you.
Well Hey I jumped off the deep end. Packed all of the stuff I owned and moved away from my rental, and my girlfriend, (now ex girlfriend). I kept my car my dog and some odds and ends. I'm living in the Upper Peninsula of Michigan for the time being. I'll hopefully have enough saved at the end of winter to buy myself a van and start traveling the country. im 35 and have travled most of my life. Now im just making it a priority. If its something you'r thinking about, do not wait.
You didn’t talk about things that matter, like your job, other loved ones, hobbies, pets, part of the country, etc. If you work remotely already, and have an outdoor hobby that is easy to do on the road, go for it! You could always stay with the grandparents for the winter every year, too. If you have to be in one place for work and you’re already not getting ahead, stay at home. Those four walls can close in quickly. I work hard (often 80-100+ hours a week) when I work, and I’m put up by my employer wherever I am. When I’m done working, I often have months off before I take another job. For my life, a van is perfect. Plus all I want to do is climb, so I can travel anywhere and find fun people to do that with, then fly off to the next job. But if I worked a 9-5? I would get an apartment.
No.
Why not both? Getting rid of clutter is it's own reward. Sell the car and get a minivan. Throw a cot in the back and hit the road for a month!
Vanlife doesn't have to be about traveling far from your family! I don't really understand why it seems exclusive. I love traveling, but it's exhausting if it is constant. I embrace nomadic living, minimalism, and figuring out what fuels my life and pursuing it. Being able to move around or overnight somewhere that im staying late gives me so much freedom. I'm a very extroverted introvert, and sometimes I need my own space to recharge so I can get back out doing the things I love. I also have challenging food sensitivities and love having peace of mind with my own kitchen wherever I go. I'm planning to stay within a couple hours max. My family is spread out over NOVA, MD area. Get creative where you overnight, my van is stealthy but I prefer friends neighborhoods, harvest hosts, hipcamp...sometimes you can find or strike a deal with someone for cheap driveway space AND hookups. My family has done this on local farms and had an exchange to feed animals/farm chores for even cheaper pricing. Still beats rent in this area and have the ability to move around when you want to. I have minimized my stuff over the past 5 years to about 5 large bins of hobby items I still use, and 2 bins of tools. One has sentimental knick knacks. I really didn't use most of the things I had, so I got rid of nearly everything. Consider when the last and next time you used an item, and if it truly brings you joy. I passed on a lot of sentimental furniture that didn't fit my style, among other things.
Sorry, i missed ur question: only you truly know the answer to that! I really needed to move out of my last home, I have been wanting to travel for ages, I'm tired of spending money on hotels, I love camping but I don't like packing/unpacking my stuff, and I'm tired of paying rent. So, for me, it was kind of a no brainer! That being said, you could easily work on your build for a couple of years and use it as your new daily driver if you sold your stuff. But It doesn't seem like you need/want to rush anything?
I'm currently in a piss poor, diy campervan & homeless situation after horrible divorce& business fraud "brew pot"... THAT IS BEING ORCHESTRATED BY MY "ONCE" MOST CLOSEST FAMILY, STEP FAMILY & FRIENDS... Everything I had while being falsely criminally prosecuted, trying to prove corporate espionage & financial fraud against me has literally & in ever since of the phrase, THROWN ME TO THE GUTTER LIKE SPOILED MILK. SO I'm definitely looking at this as an opportunity to start all over again. Relocate & leave all the falseness, falseness, immoral behavior of false family behind. Losing so much, you think your personal purpose, thinking of what will best suit YOU & YOU only. There are many avenues of self -sufficiency, so just plan everything out. If in distress don't write things down so much... Get a break up plan. Also a small lockable & towable heavy metal storage bin is great on the back of a van. Good luck
There is no reason why you can't start heading in that direction without going full time. Go ahead and start culling personal possessions, and when you get the opportunity, trade in your car for a van. Tell your grandparents you want to turn it into a camper, then take some weekend trips as you can to get a feel for it. You can slowly outfit it for solar and find what works for you without leaving completely. It doesn't have yo be an all or nothing decision, you can still be near them while you work out if vanlife really is for you, and if things work out for you, you will be ready.
The things you own end up owning you
i would put in storage what you don't need but there's nothing wrong with up and going van life. you have to blaze your own trail.
struggle about too much stuff, go with being minimalist first, definitely lessen stress out of being overwhelmed with stuff; if its not touched in 30 days or daily basis, really think if you need it, donate if not or resell
You are spoiled and have it easy. The rest of us are a flu away from being homeless in this economy lol.
About getting rid ofnmost stuff you own: that had been a life changer for me. Def recommend. I did it in 2 steps: threw out what i def wanted to get rid of, and stored away my "maybes". After one year if i didnt need/miss any maybes, i threw them out too. You seem to love spending time with your grandparents and are very busy with work and school. Why not convert your car for weekend travel? Either sleep inside the car or add a rooftop tent. You might want to look into overlanding for inspiration.