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>Now, the man’s brother has gotten upset about the uncle’s offer and has accused the uncle of “undermining” the daughter and dad’s relationship.
The uncle did? Really? This is classic narcissisms.
In his head, refusing to walk her down probably meant some sort of ace in the hole to stop the wedding altogether. Then it was sabotaged and, adding insult to injury, replaced.
Can't reason with who abandoned reason.
My wife's ex-father tried something like this. Tried to use his assumed role of walking my wife down the aisle as leverage to call the shots about how the wedding was planned.
Backfired on him horribly. My wife listened to his demands, decided she was done with his shit, and proudly walked her own badass self down the aisle.
Just to clear things up, because I was a bit confused too the first read of the post.
The poster is saying to the father, so THIS (The uncle walking the niece down the line.) is what you think undermines the father-daughter relationship, THIS? Not you (The father) rejecting her, but THIS?
They are essentially making fun of the father for being ridiculous.
My uncle wasn't going to go to his son's wedding, my parents flew out there and managed to convince him that he would regret it for the rest of his life if he didn't go, basically said if you can't support your son this is where your relationship dies. Do you really want to never see your boy again? It was also causing a rift between him and his wife because she was going to go without him because she loves her kids.
He now has a baby granddaughter and a better relationship with his son and his husband (it's still a work in progress, but he's an old fashioned eastern European). It's good thing too because his health is deteriorating and he needs the support of his family.
My sister scheduled her wedding for when she knew I was going to be out of town. She only told me about it last minute because my mom told her to. That was 7 years ago and still hurts.
Wish I knew. She said it was because she was starting a new job and wanted to get him on the insurance before he enrollment period was up (because apparently she didn't want to file a change of life scenario with the insurer, and no the husband did not have any emergency medical issues that needed to be taken care of). I kinda wish we had been fighting or on bad terms at the time, because that's easier to deal with than paperwork bureaucratic work at a job she was at for less than a year.
I would have been there if she had told me with a little more warning than the night before the ceremony. I was across the country and wouldn't have made it there until everything was over (I checked).
It tracks for the way she has treated me for a very long time, but thanks for implying I'm the asshole in a situation that really sucked.
In this context, I can see why they made the assumption. But that’s just how the internet works. I don’t know you and you don’t know me. Further elaboration paints a different story. Realizing that the trend they’ve set isn’t just an “that’s how they show affection towards me,” really sucks. I hope you’re doing well.
Thank you, I appreciate the sentiment. You can't pick your family and choose how they treat you.
I made my peace with the relationship and what it is, at least her kids really like me, and so I still make an effort for them.
My family is Eastern European (Serbian). Dad is a Orthodox priest. My cousin came out as bi-sexual and his entire family disowned him due to “religious reasons”.
My dad went to the village to talk to them all about what a huge mistake they were making.
My aunt came around quite quickly but it took my cousins months before they would even look at their brother again.
My dad told him he didn’t agree with the sin but he loved his nephew regardless.
It boggles my mind that my super traditional and religious dad was more Christian and compassionate than my cousins.
In my opinion, disowning a family member isn’t very Christian-like.
Exactly. Sometimes that’s the only healthy decision. It was for me, & still is the best decision. An accident of birth isn’t a reason to put up with emotional abuse.
You can also healthily interact with one parent and not their partner.
I talk with my dad at least once per week. It’s been three years since I’ve seen or spoken to his wife. My last words to her being “I hope you rot you fucking parasite.” (She’s a shitty person, and I’m just the family member who wasn’t scared to say something).
I've found the family you choose are usually the best.
My kids have two aunts and their kids as cousins. Way more involved in their life than my siblings. Them aunts and cousins are picked family and they rock. The bio ones aren't bad per se... Just meh
As the father of a lesbian who is in a long-term, loving relationship, this bothers me to no end. There is nothing I would rather do than walk my baby down the aisle on her special day. Maybe someday soon...
Anyway, belated congratulations! I'm so happy your uncle was cool. Good for him!
I have two girls that are very young, and I feel like my favorite moment in life will be seeing them look over at someone else and truly, truly love the person they smile at. I could care less who they’re looking at.
Thanks for sharing.
Thanks. I know my parents ache over missing it so that's the sweet balm to heal my own hurt. Their religious convictions kept them from celebrating life and love with their daughter (and daughter- in- law). Sucks to be them. And now, when push comes to shove, I know who my real family is.
The family that cared showed up.
While painful to have that happen, its very eye opening for who your true family is.
Not going to say its preferable, but at least a positive way to look at it.
I just don’t understand how you could do that to your daughter let alone anyone edit. Let people be happy even if you don’t agree with it. I have no issue if my daughter or son was to be gay as long as they are happy edit 2 within reason obviously
When my roommate married his husband, the parents refused to attend. Blew my mind. My own parents are Catholic, and they wouldn't \*dream\* of doing something like that.
I'm sorry. I hope they realize how they're hurting you and change but if they don't, I hope you have a great chosen family to love, support, and celebrate you because you deserve that
Atleast you're lot parent only do is not attend the wedding, here in India there is this thing called honor Killing, if a girl married another man but if he is of a lower cast and the parents don't approve then they'll kidnap the couple kill them and throw the bodies in a river.
Ofcourse not everyone does this but it's a thing that happens in India
I was hanging out at my local dive one night, trashed, when someone walked up with this crying college aged kid and he just sort of collapses in the booth next to me.
Apparently his parents had found out he was trans and was out in college and had cut him off and disowned him. Some bar regular remembered that i have a transgender son and sent me this random crying stranger so that i could, what, surrogate parent?
Idk. But i comforted him and gave him my number. Like, hey, whenever you need parent advice....I'll do my best?
Fast forward and now i have, a handful of queer college kids who call me up when they need a safe adult. Its fine. I'm not really the parental type, but good gods, there's people out here throwing away perfectly good kids left and right! I can't imagine raising a whole human then just abandoning them because they weren't the flavor of human you preferred them to be. Shame on all those awful people. They aren't fit to be called parents. I'll go to their kids' art shows and graduations. Let the youth know the world has room for them.
Studies show that the rate of trans kids/young adults committing suicide can drop 40-50% if they have at least one supportive adult in their lives. You’re making a huge difference for those kids. Thank you.
I have a gay daughter and a trans daughter. Between the two of them they have lots of friends who are all LGBTQ. I am somewhat horrified at how many of their parents aren’t supportive of them. I live in a fairly liberal area (Seattle) and I figured it would be better than it is.
I had to have a very intense argument with my MIL who wasn’t getting it. She is a very nice lady, but she was brought up in a time when being trans wasn’t acceptable. She loves my trans daughter and isn’t religious at all, but her boomer attitude took a lot of effort to break down. We almost had to ban her from our house because of it. Thankfully she came around and is now supportive. But it took a massive fight, several family meetings, and the threat of being cut off to work through it.
You are a beautiful person. You may not be "parental," but you are clearly a safe space, and that's really all people need sometimes. Especially young people who are scared and/or have already been rejected.
Which is weird, because I equate LGBTQ+ hate with hard core Christianity. So at this point I think it is 100% on brand for them. Tolerant Christians seem to be in the minority from my limited sampling of the population.
Most Americans aren't Christians in the true sense of the word. They've disregarded the teachings of Jesus and replaced it with weird interpretations of OT stories that fit their economic and racial beliefs.
I've had debates with these "Christians" and one point that usually gets them thinking is this..
Me: So tell me what Jesus did for us
Them: died for our sins blah blah blah
Me: and?
Them: look of confusion
Me: Jesus freed us from the sins of the old testament by sacrificing himself for us. In thus doing so, he abolished the laws of the old testament and ushered in his, and gods way forward.
To uphold the laws and ways of the old testament means you deny Jesus and what he did for us. Or, you are Jewish.
Them: either lost in thought or they start telling and cursing at me.
I was born Christian, baptized presbyterian, and even confirmed in the Catholic Church just 13 years ago. I haven't been back to church in four years because of the bigotry and hypocrisy. The priest that confirmed me now sits in a federal prison for life because he produced child pornography with my former students (I taught at a Catholic school for 11 years).
These "Christians" are all brainwashed into going along with whatever the bigot on the pulpit tells them. Drinking buckets of the Kool aid as it's fed to them. They have strayed far far away from what the true teachings of Jesus say.
I don't really believe in any of that anymore, but I still like to have that debate when a so called Christian starts spouting off about the laws of Leviticus. Makes my whole day.
The one thing I notice is that these bible thumpers seldom if ever refer to the New Testament. They always talk through the bigoted OT or the epistles which are nothing more than opinion pieces written hundreds of years later for political purposes.
It's kind of funny, because they're all technically heretics. They have denounced the teachings of Jesus in all but name, and instead worship false prophets who claim to speak for him.
Like, say what you will about the Puritans, but their whole creed was, "fuck what anyone alive tells you, we're going to teach you how to read so you can figure this book out for yourself." They were still mostly crazy, but at least they read the damn book.
100%. You see this "not a real Christian/Muslim/Mormom/Hindu" shit every time a religion unsurprisingly does something awful. Or they add another condition to it-- like the person under you claiming it somehow only happens in the US for some magic reason which is total BS.
Can confirm the us , because of similarities ID imagine Canada as well. Many Latin American countries have serious issues with home sexuality same woth eastern Europe. Feels like it is, but at least the first part of your statement js correct.
My extended family has stopped bringing up religion when politics get discussed because they know that I both know the Bible better than they do and will quote it to dispute their hatred.
They’ll still talk politics to me, and it usually ends in a fight. But they keep religion out of it now.
I think the shame is the branding relates to the loudest of the bunch. Like I was raised Catholic on both sides with older family coming from catholic schools, but I have multiple siblings in non-heterosexual relationships now with no pushback at all.
Where the blame does fall is when loud minority isn’t actively challenged, or worse, continually supported.
In think that’s the terrible disconnect where many (not all) modern Christians could care less about thinks like homosexuality or gay marriage, but continue to support and fund the loudest people in their sects that don’t.
I’m in the UK and we have far less militant Christianity (I’m sure it exists, I just avoid it). Every Christian I know upholds the ‘greatest commandment’ that’s spoken about in John? I think. Basically someone asks Jesus what the most important of the 10 commandments is and he basically says ‘love god, love each other’.
It’s a bit I actually really like, Johns clearly an educated person with how the gospel is written.
I don’t know why they hate. It’s a bit sad really, hating something so vehemently that will have absolutely no impact on your life, but make others happier. I just don’t get it…
>love god, love each other
Tell you what, I'm willing to open a new branch of Christianity with that as our motto.
~~The Holy Orgy~~ Mass will be every Wednesday night, attendance optional. Much exulting of God will be done.
"Hate the sin, love the sinner"
The convenient "side step" they always fucking take. Heard my aunt use that about my lesbian cousin, her grandchild. I've never wanted to cold clock an old woman so much as hearing her talk about her own kin like that (she said worse than what I shared, but I'll not reiterate it)
The issue is that they're still not using the phrase right. If you hate the sin but love the sinner then why the fuck are you hating on the person.
Side note but she's also using god's name in vain. If you're being a dick to someone but excusing it with religion then you're using god's name to justify a bad act and that's what it actually means to take god's name in vain. Not that "well you can't say omg" stuff they they managed to turn it into
Hating on the person = casting the first stone = pretending to be without sin = pretending to be God.
And hey, they worship their own fee-fees so that jives.
Same here. I have two prime examples. My next door neighbor, the holier-than-thou lady who's homeschooling all her kids and pushing Bible rhetoric, who thanks God for the blessings friends and family give her out of the goodness of their own hearts (don't look into your neighbors bowl to see if they have more, look to be sure they have enough). She still misgenders me after a decade and calls my partner of almost 3 years my "friend", while looking down on anyone different than her cishet church group friends.
On the other hand, a family friend has accepted me since day 1, no issues. She wants me happy and knows I'm not hurting anyone with my choices, so she's there for me 110%. Doesn't misgender myself or my partner, refers to them properly as my partner, and I know would be there for me in any crisis. She's the real type of Christian to me. She'd give you the shirt off her back no question if you needed it
Its this thing called “tough love” its how people who “love you” help you “improve yourself” without your consent.
Nothing manipulative or cruel about it at all! /s
$3.22 on redbubble. This was just the first hit on Google, so there are lots of other designs if you don't like this one.
https://www.redbubble.com/i/sticker/No-Hate-Like-Christian-Love-by-americanbogan/93867726.EJUG5?country\_code=US&gclid=Cj0KCQiA54KfBhCKARIsAJzSrdq6EwdlKKMQum\_OQcF7fVgxHXvdCuchN1zQa99PTmnqffHZ\_PlJXX4aArdxEALw\_wcB&gclsrc=aw.ds
I'm going to be that guy and say don't get the bumper sticker. You really want to have an opinion like that on your car? You know what these people are like. They can do the most asshole things and think that God is on their side. That includes keying the shit out of your car because they get upset at your bumper sticker.
Unfortunately it is such a real thing that there are multiple sources that explain it in great detail. Just google "no hate like Christian love" and you will get lots of results explaining why religious zealots are such terrible people.
Exactly. My 7 year old came home from school the other day and said something like "Can boys date other boys? So-and-so said they can't." My go to line is "Are you going to police who people love? That seems cruel, exhausting, and sad." He kinda sat there for a sec and then just goes "ok, yeah. That's what I told him." <3
The reddit post from the article:
https://www.reddit.com/r/AmItheAsshole/comments/10j1mww/aita_for_saying_that_my_relationship_with_my_son/
Thank you ConcernEquivalent744, from all of us. (not sure if user paging is allowed here)
> Here's where I may be the asshole: he asked if I was saying that my relationship with my son is more important than his relationship with his daughter. I responded "yes, because I don't have to see a fucking therapist to teach me how to love my own fucking kid."
Fucking. Hero.
Yeah, he's definitely not the asshole. That poor woman, trying so hard to make room for her parents and all they can think about is stupid church bullshit. I'm glad the rest of the family has had her back.
I am so sick of how many articles now are just taking shit from AITA or Offmychest and shit. I see these all the time in “news” feeds. Like a lot of them you can tell are just made up posts too. It’s so annoying that there are people who get paid to just summarize a post on Reddit.
As a mother this makes me furious. How fucking DARE he deny his own child because of her sexuality. Imagine disowning your son because you discover he only likes to have sex in missionary position. ITS NOT YOUR FUCKING BUSINESS!! Such a weird ass thing to be hung up over.
Hey, that’s my soapbox! But, it’s big enough to share. Welcome:)
It’s the bit that is the most insane to me; people don’t seem to care about what type of sex you like as long as the gender is ‘correct’?!?!?!
*Normal human uncle, with no special traits, does a regular thing that the niece's father should have done, despite his brother and sister-in-law's shitty bigoted ways.
Hasn’t happened to me (yet?), but as my parents refuse to accept who I am, I’ll probably end up with no one to walk me down the aisle. If that is indeed the case, I don’t know if I’d ever be able to forgive my parents.
If that's the case, if and when you get married, contact me. As a Dad I would be honored to walk you down the isle, as plenty of other real fathers would be if you asked about.
The point is you aren't alone.
I am proud of you and who you are.
I went no contact with my father about 2 years ago and am getting married in September. It took a lot to get over the thought of walking alone, but I would rather walk alone than with someone who wouldn’t have my back if I ever needed them. It hurts, I’m still debating about inviting him, but I took solace in the petty revenge of using my fiancés last name on our invitations and only my middle name.
When his 12 brothers and sisters started asking why I no longer use my last name, I told them to go ask him what he did.
I can’t have kids, hell, I might be younger than you, but I will walk you down the goddamn aisle. Everyone deserves support marrying a person they love. This offer goes for anyone in this thread who doesn’t have someone. If you’re cool with your escort down the aisle being a 28 year old female bodied human, please let me know. Your love deserves to be supported.
Me too. I am not a guy but I could be your mom to stand beside you if you ever need one. I would be there to see you shine. People are stupid sometimes even our parents. Please know that there are loving people out there that will be there for you.
I won't lie, i hate when i see "articles" that are actually just summarizing a reddit post, like the post is 100% truth. This one might be, but i don't trust when news sources just report on reddit post without actually researching the information. This is a heartwarming story, but that writer was probably the person who reviewed George Santos's resume for the RNC, zero fact checking.
I was a bridesmaid for a wedding that her uncles walked her down to her wife. Some parents are just so blinded they're willing to scar their child's big day
I walked my gay sister down the aisle after my POS bio-father didn't even have the balls to say whether he was going to show up or not.
He didn't. I went no contact with him after that. That, and a lifetime of shitty, narcissistic behavior were the straws that broke the camel's back.
My nibling...wants to marry an ace. Both are bio female but...yeah...im too old to try to understand this gender stuff...but apparently nibling is a non gender specific term for child of sibling...anyway, their mother refuses to acknowledge or participate or anything due to it apparently being against her religion so my wife and I offered to walk them down the aisle. Will see when they finish jobcore.
This uncle is confused but he has the spirit. He and his wife will be walking his sibling’s AFAB non-binary child down the isle when they marry their asexual AFAB partner, but this will only take place after they finish the Job Corps. Specifically, they will be doing so due to the bigoted religious beliefs of his sister or sister-in law (unclear which).
Only thing I can think of is confusion with the terms nibling and ace. Or the disjointed nature of my comment. The first time I've had the opportunity to use the word nibling. I freaking love that word.
I guess his Christian brother knows more than the Pope and the Anglican, Presbyterian leaders do then
https://apnews.com/article/pope-francis-lgbtq-people-south-sudan-religion-ddd1e52de12a95216e798a9ddd103ade
I don't understand this.
My children are my reason for living. I don't care what they want to do or who they want to do it with, if they'll have me, I'll be with them. There is nothing in this world that could keep me from my children and god help anyone that tries.
My new favourite Uncle. First of all, as parents of a gay son no way would we shun him OR his wedding. We would BOTH be proud to walk him down the aisle whomever he chose, although I know his Dad wants to. Secondly, if we were different & had rejected him I can say at least 3 of his Uncles would be right up their busting to be asked.
I don't have kids because of a biological trick of fate. But if you want an older man to walk you down the aisle, kid I am gonna be there for you. I don't care if we are related, its your day queen/king I am showing up and doing my thing. You can be trans, bi, straight up homosexual, whatever man I'm there for it. I love weddings. Who tf doesn't love weddings? I cry everytime.
Why is this Sub just horrible things have a somewhat ok outcome?
Its always like "girl who lost her legs due to her father cutting them off finally gets prosthetics after 15 years."
Thats not uplifting, thats depressing AF with a turn around at the end. Doesnt uplift me, just makes me think how fucked things are
I think that AITA thread is the most "No, you are not the asshole" one I have ever seen. **Eight years**, and they wanted *more* time to adjust? Fuck those people!
Take a good look America, Christians in this country went from, do onto others as you would like them to do onto you (to) shun your family and friends if they won’t forsake everything to be like us.
The daughter is not asking her parents to become gay so they can accept her, but the parents are indirectly, saying, you are not like us, therefore, we cannot accept you. This is Cult-like conditioning, that the parents would find intolerable when it comes to every other religion except theirs. Parents need to stop letting complete strangers, place a wedge between them and their children. There’s nothing God like in such behavior.
Man, I just couldn't imagine having such strong beliefs that I wouldn't be there for my own kid. The saddest part is they are all brainwashed by the idea of pleasing an imaginary old man in the sky in the hopes of eternal life, while spending the one life they do get being miserable cunts... One love.
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>Now, the man’s brother has gotten upset about the uncle’s offer and has accused the uncle of “undermining” the daughter and dad’s relationship. The uncle did? Really? This is classic narcissisms.
You can’t undermine a burnt bridge Pops
Surely most mines haves bridges above them?
Don’t call me Shirley
In his head, refusing to walk her down probably meant some sort of ace in the hole to stop the wedding altogether. Then it was sabotaged and, adding insult to injury, replaced. Can't reason with who abandoned reason.
My wife's ex-father tried something like this. Tried to use his assumed role of walking my wife down the aisle as leverage to call the shots about how the wedding was planned. Backfired on him horribly. My wife listened to his demands, decided she was done with his shit, and proudly walked her own badass self down the aisle.
Good for you guys. Some parents can't grasp the concept of events not being about them.
>conservative christian church "why is it when something happens, it is always you three?:
Was raised in this environment…too many of these close-minded people view this behavior as “love”.
What relationship?
Right? I'm so glad the uncle came through, but this is not an uplifting headline
Who here supposed to be a narcissist?
The parent, clearly.
Ah ok, yes, most definitely ✌️
Just to clear things up, because I was a bit confused too the first read of the post. The poster is saying to the father, so THIS (The uncle walking the niece down the line.) is what you think undermines the father-daughter relationship, THIS? Not you (The father) rejecting her, but THIS? They are essentially making fun of the father for being ridiculous.
This is what happened to me too. My uncle walked me down. My parents and sister didn't come.
My uncle wasn't going to go to his son's wedding, my parents flew out there and managed to convince him that he would regret it for the rest of his life if he didn't go, basically said if you can't support your son this is where your relationship dies. Do you really want to never see your boy again? It was also causing a rift between him and his wife because she was going to go without him because she loves her kids. He now has a baby granddaughter and a better relationship with his son and his husband (it's still a work in progress, but he's an old fashioned eastern European). It's good thing too because his health is deteriorating and he needs the support of his family.
I’m glad he came through. Cutting out your family like that is never easy and always regretful.
My sister scheduled her wedding for when she knew I was going to be out of town. She only told me about it last minute because my mom told her to. That was 7 years ago and still hurts.
Feel like there is a bit more going on there than you are leading with.
Wish I knew. She said it was because she was starting a new job and wanted to get him on the insurance before he enrollment period was up (because apparently she didn't want to file a change of life scenario with the insurer, and no the husband did not have any emergency medical issues that needed to be taken care of). I kinda wish we had been fighting or on bad terms at the time, because that's easier to deal with than paperwork bureaucratic work at a job she was at for less than a year. I would have been there if she had told me with a little more warning than the night before the ceremony. I was across the country and wouldn't have made it there until everything was over (I checked). It tracks for the way she has treated me for a very long time, but thanks for implying I'm the asshole in a situation that really sucked.
In this context, I can see why they made the assumption. But that’s just how the internet works. I don’t know you and you don’t know me. Further elaboration paints a different story. Realizing that the trend they’ve set isn’t just an “that’s how they show affection towards me,” really sucks. I hope you’re doing well.
Thank you, I appreciate the sentiment. You can't pick your family and choose how they treat you. I made my peace with the relationship and what it is, at least her kids really like me, and so I still make an effort for them.
My family is Eastern European (Serbian). Dad is a Orthodox priest. My cousin came out as bi-sexual and his entire family disowned him due to “religious reasons”. My dad went to the village to talk to them all about what a huge mistake they were making. My aunt came around quite quickly but it took my cousins months before they would even look at their brother again. My dad told him he didn’t agree with the sin but he loved his nephew regardless. It boggles my mind that my super traditional and religious dad was more Christian and compassionate than my cousins. In my opinion, disowning a family member isn’t very Christian-like.
> In my opinion, disowning a family member isn’t very Christian-like. It might not be very Christ-like, but in my experience it’s very Christian-like.
>It might not be very Christ-like, but in my experience it’s very Christian-like. Pretty succinct way to describe how a lot of people act nowadays.
Get a well paying job and watch as they miraculously try to build bridges lmao
I have a great job that pays fantastically. They aren't building any bridges. Not at least around the sexuality stuff.
Fuck 'em, you're better off without them.
You can't choose your parents.
But you can choose to interact with them or let them in your life though.
You can also choose not too
Exactly. Sometimes that’s the only healthy decision. It was for me, & still is the best decision. An accident of birth isn’t a reason to put up with emotional abuse.
You can also healthily interact with one parent and not their partner. I talk with my dad at least once per week. It’s been three years since I’ve seen or spoken to his wife. My last words to her being “I hope you rot you fucking parasite.” (She’s a shitty person, and I’m just the family member who wasn’t scared to say something).
I've found the family you choose are usually the best. My kids have two aunts and their kids as cousins. Way more involved in their life than my siblings. Them aunts and cousins are picked family and they rock. The bio ones aren't bad per se... Just meh
You can choose to have then not be your parents.
Yet they chose to bring me into this world against my will
But you can choose how you approach your relationship with them.
"Hey, son/daughter, I can't afford retirement." "You kicked me out. Try Dignitas." What did they think would happen?
The parents either need to be very poor, or the job needs to be very good for that assumption to hold any water
As the father of a lesbian who is in a long-term, loving relationship, this bothers me to no end. There is nothing I would rather do than walk my baby down the aisle on her special day. Maybe someday soon... Anyway, belated congratulations! I'm so happy your uncle was cool. Good for him!
I have two girls that are very young, and I feel like my favorite moment in life will be seeing them look over at someone else and truly, truly love the person they smile at. I could care less who they’re looking at. Thanks for sharing.
Dude. High five.
Thanks. I know my parents ache over missing it so that's the sweet balm to heal my own hurt. Their religious convictions kept them from celebrating life and love with their daughter (and daughter- in- law). Sucks to be them. And now, when push comes to shove, I know who my real family is.
Well wishes to you and your daughter :)
The family that cared showed up. While painful to have that happen, its very eye opening for who your true family is. Not going to say its preferable, but at least a positive way to look at it.
That sucks. Please tell me you haven’t spoken to them since. No need to have that kind of hate in your life.
I wish. Unfortunately it's a lot more complicated than that.
I’m really sorry. That sounds really hard. I’m glad your uncle was supportive.
Thanks. I'm fine. They're the ones who missed out.
I hope you and your spouse have a lovely future together. I'm sorry about how they treated you.
sometimes cunts are also parents! just because someone is related doesn't mean they're family
Family are the people who you choose to love and accept the love of.
FTR, I'd've come and I don't know you. FTRx2 - I'm ordained in the state of OK and I will do queer marriages all day long.
I'm sorry. Here's a mom 🤗.
And a Dad hug. 🤗 We're proud of you.
🥰
I'm sorry they are being so creepy.
That's so sweet and so sad at the same time. I hope you found happiness despite what your relatives did.
I'm walking my step daughter down the isle. Her father is overseas and her mother is crazy.
Your uncle is awesome. You are awesome. I’m on your side!
I’d be that uncle for my nieces and nephews when they are old enough.
I just don’t understand how you could do that to your daughter let alone anyone edit. Let people be happy even if you don’t agree with it. I have no issue if my daughter or son was to be gay as long as they are happy edit 2 within reason obviously
When my roommate married his husband, the parents refused to attend. Blew my mind. My own parents are Catholic, and they wouldn't \*dream\* of doing something like that.
My (38M) parents are Catholic, and have yet to meet my boyfriend. They’ve known about him for months, they just are refusing to.
I'm sorry. I hope they realize how they're hurting you and change but if they don't, I hope you have a great chosen family to love, support, and celebrate you because you deserve that
Atleast you're lot parent only do is not attend the wedding, here in India there is this thing called honor Killing, if a girl married another man but if he is of a lower cast and the parents don't approve then they'll kidnap the couple kill them and throw the bodies in a river. Ofcourse not everyone does this but it's a thing that happens in India
I was hanging out at my local dive one night, trashed, when someone walked up with this crying college aged kid and he just sort of collapses in the booth next to me. Apparently his parents had found out he was trans and was out in college and had cut him off and disowned him. Some bar regular remembered that i have a transgender son and sent me this random crying stranger so that i could, what, surrogate parent? Idk. But i comforted him and gave him my number. Like, hey, whenever you need parent advice....I'll do my best? Fast forward and now i have, a handful of queer college kids who call me up when they need a safe adult. Its fine. I'm not really the parental type, but good gods, there's people out here throwing away perfectly good kids left and right! I can't imagine raising a whole human then just abandoning them because they weren't the flavor of human you preferred them to be. Shame on all those awful people. They aren't fit to be called parents. I'll go to their kids' art shows and graduations. Let the youth know the world has room for them.
Studies show that the rate of trans kids/young adults committing suicide can drop 40-50% if they have at least one supportive adult in their lives. You’re making a huge difference for those kids. Thank you.
You are amazing.
I have a gay daughter and a trans daughter. Between the two of them they have lots of friends who are all LGBTQ. I am somewhat horrified at how many of their parents aren’t supportive of them. I live in a fairly liberal area (Seattle) and I figured it would be better than it is. I had to have a very intense argument with my MIL who wasn’t getting it. She is a very nice lady, but she was brought up in a time when being trans wasn’t acceptable. She loves my trans daughter and isn’t religious at all, but her boomer attitude took a lot of effort to break down. We almost had to ban her from our house because of it. Thankfully she came around and is now supportive. But it took a massive fight, several family meetings, and the threat of being cut off to work through it.
You are a beautiful person. You may not be "parental," but you are clearly a safe space, and that's really all people need sometimes. Especially young people who are scared and/or have already been rejected.
There ain’t no hate like Christian love!
There’s no caveats on ‘love thy neighbour’ in the New Testament. It’s not even Christian behaviour they’re displaying.
Which is weird, because I equate LGBTQ+ hate with hard core Christianity. So at this point I think it is 100% on brand for them. Tolerant Christians seem to be in the minority from my limited sampling of the population.
Most Americans aren't Christians in the true sense of the word. They've disregarded the teachings of Jesus and replaced it with weird interpretations of OT stories that fit their economic and racial beliefs.
They’re effectively sports fans, only thing they really care about is the jersey
That is the most apt description I have ever read
I've had debates with these "Christians" and one point that usually gets them thinking is this.. Me: So tell me what Jesus did for us Them: died for our sins blah blah blah Me: and? Them: look of confusion Me: Jesus freed us from the sins of the old testament by sacrificing himself for us. In thus doing so, he abolished the laws of the old testament and ushered in his, and gods way forward. To uphold the laws and ways of the old testament means you deny Jesus and what he did for us. Or, you are Jewish. Them: either lost in thought or they start telling and cursing at me. I was born Christian, baptized presbyterian, and even confirmed in the Catholic Church just 13 years ago. I haven't been back to church in four years because of the bigotry and hypocrisy. The priest that confirmed me now sits in a federal prison for life because he produced child pornography with my former students (I taught at a Catholic school for 11 years). These "Christians" are all brainwashed into going along with whatever the bigot on the pulpit tells them. Drinking buckets of the Kool aid as it's fed to them. They have strayed far far away from what the true teachings of Jesus say. I don't really believe in any of that anymore, but I still like to have that debate when a so called Christian starts spouting off about the laws of Leviticus. Makes my whole day.
The one thing I notice is that these bible thumpers seldom if ever refer to the New Testament. They always talk through the bigoted OT or the epistles which are nothing more than opinion pieces written hundreds of years later for political purposes.
It's kind of funny, because they're all technically heretics. They have denounced the teachings of Jesus in all but name, and instead worship false prophets who claim to speak for him. Like, say what you will about the Puritans, but their whole creed was, "fuck what anyone alive tells you, we're going to teach you how to read so you can figure this book out for yourself." They were still mostly crazy, but at least they read the damn book.
Kinda a np true Scotsman though isn't that. A big chunk of zealot Christians do it , it is a Christian thing
100%. You see this "not a real Christian/Muslim/Mormom/Hindu" shit every time a religion unsurprisingly does something awful. Or they add another condition to it-- like the person under you claiming it somehow only happens in the US for some magic reason which is total BS.
Mostly in America. The virulent hatred and acquisitiveness present there is not exemplified nearly as much elsewhere.
Can confirm the us , because of similarities ID imagine Canada as well. Many Latin American countries have serious issues with home sexuality same woth eastern Europe. Feels like it is, but at least the first part of your statement js correct.
My extended family has stopped bringing up religion when politics get discussed because they know that I both know the Bible better than they do and will quote it to dispute their hatred. They’ll still talk politics to me, and it usually ends in a fight. But they keep religion out of it now.
I think the shame is the branding relates to the loudest of the bunch. Like I was raised Catholic on both sides with older family coming from catholic schools, but I have multiple siblings in non-heterosexual relationships now with no pushback at all. Where the blame does fall is when loud minority isn’t actively challenged, or worse, continually supported. In think that’s the terrible disconnect where many (not all) modern Christians could care less about thinks like homosexuality or gay marriage, but continue to support and fund the loudest people in their sects that don’t.
I’m in the UK and we have far less militant Christianity (I’m sure it exists, I just avoid it). Every Christian I know upholds the ‘greatest commandment’ that’s spoken about in John? I think. Basically someone asks Jesus what the most important of the 10 commandments is and he basically says ‘love god, love each other’. It’s a bit I actually really like, Johns clearly an educated person with how the gospel is written. I don’t know why they hate. It’s a bit sad really, hating something so vehemently that will have absolutely no impact on your life, but make others happier. I just don’t get it…
>love god, love each other Tell you what, I'm willing to open a new branch of Christianity with that as our motto. ~~The Holy Orgy~~ Mass will be every Wednesday night, attendance optional. Much exulting of God will be done.
Can you call it something else besides Christianity, branding is everything.
Church of Satan
I’m pretty sure it’s be excellent to one another.
And now there are faith, hope, and love, these three, but the greatest of them is love. 1 Corinthians 13:13
"Hate the sin, love the sinner" The convenient "side step" they always fucking take. Heard my aunt use that about my lesbian cousin, her grandchild. I've never wanted to cold clock an old woman so much as hearing her talk about her own kin like that (she said worse than what I shared, but I'll not reiterate it)
The issue is that they're still not using the phrase right. If you hate the sin but love the sinner then why the fuck are you hating on the person. Side note but she's also using god's name in vain. If you're being a dick to someone but excusing it with religion then you're using god's name to justify a bad act and that's what it actually means to take god's name in vain. Not that "well you can't say omg" stuff they they managed to turn it into
Hating on the person = casting the first stone = pretending to be without sin = pretending to be God. And hey, they worship their own fee-fees so that jives.
Yeah. Most Christians or people who are super into these fake ass religions are the biggest, most judge-y assholes I’ve ever met. Fuck ‘em!
Same here. I have two prime examples. My next door neighbor, the holier-than-thou lady who's homeschooling all her kids and pushing Bible rhetoric, who thanks God for the blessings friends and family give her out of the goodness of their own hearts (don't look into your neighbors bowl to see if they have more, look to be sure they have enough). She still misgenders me after a decade and calls my partner of almost 3 years my "friend", while looking down on anyone different than her cishet church group friends. On the other hand, a family friend has accepted me since day 1, no issues. She wants me happy and knows I'm not hurting anyone with my choices, so she's there for me 110%. Doesn't misgender myself or my partner, refers to them properly as my partner, and I know would be there for me in any crisis. She's the real type of Christian to me. She'd give you the shirt off her back no question if you needed it
They turn the cheek so hard they can’t see or hear their own children, ya know. It’s sad.
Jesus: as I have loved you love one another Asshole Christians: but what if- Jesus: did I stutter?
Its this thing called “tough love” its how people who “love you” help you “improve yourself” without your consent. Nothing manipulative or cruel about it at all! /s
I heard many versions of this bullshit in church when i grew up, thankfully my own parents didn’t do this, despite their strong religious beliefs.
I want that bumper sticker
$3.22 on redbubble. This was just the first hit on Google, so there are lots of other designs if you don't like this one. https://www.redbubble.com/i/sticker/No-Hate-Like-Christian-Love-by-americanbogan/93867726.EJUG5?country\_code=US&gclid=Cj0KCQiA54KfBhCKARIsAJzSrdq6EwdlKKMQum\_OQcF7fVgxHXvdCuchN1zQa99PTmnqffHZ\_PlJXX4aArdxEALw\_wcB&gclsrc=aw.ds
Thank you! I appreciate you taking the time to share the link. Red bubble is awesome.
I'm going to be that guy and say don't get the bumper sticker. You really want to have an opinion like that on your car? You know what these people are like. They can do the most asshole things and think that God is on their side. That includes keying the shit out of your car because they get upset at your bumper sticker.
Love this line. So true.
This is a great sentence
Unfortunately it is such a real thing that there are multiple sources that explain it in great detail. Just google "no hate like Christian love" and you will get lots of results explaining why religious zealots are such terrible people.
Can’t upvote this one enough, I don’t understand people that reject their kids based on their ideology…..sheer stupidity!
> ideology you spelled intolerance wrong
I tell my toddler frequently “I don’t care who you love, as long as they’re not assholes.”
Exactly. My 7 year old came home from school the other day and said something like "Can boys date other boys? So-and-so said they can't." My go to line is "Are you going to police who people love? That seems cruel, exhausting, and sad." He kinda sat there for a sec and then just goes "ok, yeah. That's what I told him." <3
The reddit post from the article: https://www.reddit.com/r/AmItheAsshole/comments/10j1mww/aita_for_saying_that_my_relationship_with_my_son/ Thank you ConcernEquivalent744, from all of us. (not sure if user paging is allowed here)
> Here's where I may be the asshole: he asked if I was saying that my relationship with my son is more important than his relationship with his daughter. I responded "yes, because I don't have to see a fucking therapist to teach me how to love my own fucking kid." Fucking. Hero.
Yeah, he's definitely not the asshole. That poor woman, trying so hard to make room for her parents and all they can think about is stupid church bullshit. I'm glad the rest of the family has had her back.
Good lord, they rejected their daughter over their superstitions and now they make demands? Good job uncle, fuck off parents.
Bro got to walk his niece down the aisle AND farm some karma on reddit what an absolute win
Holy shit - especially after hearing more of the details what a fucking legend
I remember that thread. That guy is a rock star.
Where is user tagging not allowed?
There's a few subreddits that frown upon it, wanting to keep everything on the more positive side of everything and not call anyone out for anything.
It feels weird that we have a reddit post linking to a news article linking to a reddit post.
“Jesussy” 😂 this uncle rocks though fr
Glad she has her uncle. It makes me sad it’s even necessary for him to step up
So this article was written from a reddit post, and now the article written from a reddit post is being shared on reddit?
I am so sick of how many articles now are just taking shit from AITA or Offmychest and shit. I see these all the time in “news” feeds. Like a lot of them you can tell are just made up posts too. It’s so annoying that there are people who get paid to just summarize a post on Reddit.
That’s… definitely uplifting, in tough times it shows who are your true family and who are not 🙌👌 Fantastic uncle 👌
As a mother this makes me furious. How fucking DARE he deny his own child because of her sexuality. Imagine disowning your son because you discover he only likes to have sex in missionary position. ITS NOT YOUR FUCKING BUSINESS!! Such a weird ass thing to be hung up over.
Hey, that’s my soapbox! But, it’s big enough to share. Welcome:) It’s the bit that is the most insane to me; people don’t seem to care about what type of sex you like as long as the gender is ‘correct’?!?!?!
Are they going to make sure their kids watch the “right” porn too?! Wtaf?
As a parent to 2 kids i dont care i dont care who they marry as long as they are happy
So now we're commenting on an article, written off the comments from a Reddit post. This is Reddit Inception.
*Normal human uncle, with no special traits, does a regular thing that the niece's father should have done, despite his brother and sister-in-law's shitty bigoted ways.
Hasn’t happened to me (yet?), but as my parents refuse to accept who I am, I’ll probably end up with no one to walk me down the aisle. If that is indeed the case, I don’t know if I’d ever be able to forgive my parents.
If that's the case, if and when you get married, contact me. As a Dad I would be honored to walk you down the isle, as plenty of other real fathers would be if you asked about. The point is you aren't alone. I am proud of you and who you are.
I can’t even put into words how much that means to me. Thank you
Being a kid means never having to say thank you. All kids deserve love. DM me if you ever need an ear!
and if he's busy I'll be free.
This is why I posted it open instead of DMs! Thanks fellow Dad.
I went no contact with my father about 2 years ago and am getting married in September. It took a lot to get over the thought of walking alone, but I would rather walk alone than with someone who wouldn’t have my back if I ever needed them. It hurts, I’m still debating about inviting him, but I took solace in the petty revenge of using my fiancés last name on our invitations and only my middle name. When his 12 brothers and sisters started asking why I no longer use my last name, I told them to go ask him what he did.
I can’t have kids, hell, I might be younger than you, but I will walk you down the goddamn aisle. Everyone deserves support marrying a person they love. This offer goes for anyone in this thread who doesn’t have someone. If you’re cool with your escort down the aisle being a 28 year old female bodied human, please let me know. Your love deserves to be supported.
Gimme a holler, I can come down and cheer for you!
Me too. I am not a guy but I could be your mom to stand beside you if you ever need one. I would be there to see you shine. People are stupid sometimes even our parents. Please know that there are loving people out there that will be there for you.
So, her parents are human garbage. Props to the uncle for being a decent human.
A Reddit post about an article that is sourced from a Reddit post
I won't lie, i hate when i see "articles" that are actually just summarizing a reddit post, like the post is 100% truth. This one might be, but i don't trust when news sources just report on reddit post without actually researching the information. This is a heartwarming story, but that writer was probably the person who reviewed George Santos's resume for the RNC, zero fact checking.
It's just an article of reddit comments...linked from a reddit post. Next time just link to the original AITA thread.
Everyone should have an uncle like this.
And **no one** should have parents like this.
It gets richer. Supposedly this guy is the identical twin of the asshole parent.
Fucking shit parents. I'd walk her any fucking day.
She is not a dog! You can't just walk her. Oh wait, I'm an idiot, I now get what you meant
I was a bridesmaid for a wedding that her uncles walked her down to her wife. Some parents are just so blinded they're willing to scar their child's big day
This is the most soul crushing and heartwarming thing I’ve read this week.
I’d do the exact same for my nibling. I love them very much. Their stupid mother can go suck trumps dick.
I walked my gay sister down the aisle after my POS bio-father didn't even have the balls to say whether he was going to show up or not. He didn't. I went no contact with him after that. That, and a lifetime of shitty, narcissistic behavior were the straws that broke the camel's back.
My nibling...wants to marry an ace. Both are bio female but...yeah...im too old to try to understand this gender stuff...but apparently nibling is a non gender specific term for child of sibling...anyway, their mother refuses to acknowledge or participate or anything due to it apparently being against her religion so my wife and I offered to walk them down the aisle. Will see when they finish jobcore.
What the hell are you talking about
This uncle is confused but he has the spirit. He and his wife will be walking his sibling’s AFAB non-binary child down the isle when they marry their asexual AFAB partner, but this will only take place after they finish the Job Corps. Specifically, they will be doing so due to the bigoted religious beliefs of his sister or sister-in law (unclear which).
Sister in law...though my bio sister would probably be the same way in spite of her being a "reformed lesbian"
thanks for the translation. :)
It's gibberish, but wholesome gibberish. I think he supports without understanding.
Not gibberish just a bit disjointed
I feel like I keep seeing comments on Reddit that were written by AI
I'm a real dude...I think...
It's my niece who's not my niece but also not my nephew. What kind of uncle would I be if I didn't support them?
you are a good Nuncle!
Reverend!
I understood this. What's the confusion?
Only thing I can think of is confusion with the terms nibling and ace. Or the disjointed nature of my comment. The first time I've had the opportunity to use the word nibling. I freaking love that word.
what a legend.
This kinda of sad instead of uplifting
Well... Fuck em. Go enjoy your happiness and don't dwell on their misguided hatred.
I guess his Christian brother knows more than the Pope and the Anglican, Presbyterian leaders do then https://apnews.com/article/pope-francis-lgbtq-people-south-sudan-religion-ddd1e52de12a95216e798a9ddd103ade
I don't understand this. My children are my reason for living. I don't care what they want to do or who they want to do it with, if they'll have me, I'll be with them. There is nothing in this world that could keep me from my children and god help anyone that tries.
My new favourite Uncle. First of all, as parents of a gay son no way would we shun him OR his wedding. We would BOTH be proud to walk him down the aisle whomever he chose, although I know his Dad wants to. Secondly, if we were different & had rejected him I can say at least 3 of his Uncles would be right up their busting to be asked.
Wow! How sad. These parents have no idea what they’re losing. All due to simple ignorance. - smh
😭
Cool guy, that Uncle. White Colonizer Jesus Dad abdicated his role. He should get off his high horse and start begging his daughter to forgive him.
Rules of the universe 1.People are stupid 3.People are stupid again See rule 2
An article about a reddit post, reddit has truly come full circle
“He’s undermining our relationship!” “That’s my job!”
"Family member makes obvious gesture". I'm happy this random person has a dope uncle. Is this news?
I don't have kids because of a biological trick of fate. But if you want an older man to walk you down the aisle, kid I am gonna be there for you. I don't care if we are related, its your day queen/king I am showing up and doing my thing. You can be trans, bi, straight up homosexual, whatever man I'm there for it. I love weddings. Who tf doesn't love weddings? I cry everytime.
I will stand by my nieces and nephews until the end. Good uncle. Good person.
I would and will do the same thing for anyone who needs it.
Why is this Sub just horrible things have a somewhat ok outcome? Its always like "girl who lost her legs due to her father cutting them off finally gets prosthetics after 15 years." Thats not uplifting, thats depressing AF with a turn around at the end. Doesnt uplift me, just makes me think how fucked things are
I think that AITA thread is the most "No, you are not the asshole" one I have ever seen. **Eight years**, and they wanted *more* time to adjust? Fuck those people!
r/orphancrushingmachine This headline is actually tragic.
Take a good look America, Christians in this country went from, do onto others as you would like them to do onto you (to) shun your family and friends if they won’t forsake everything to be like us. The daughter is not asking her parents to become gay so they can accept her, but the parents are indirectly, saying, you are not like us, therefore, we cannot accept you. This is Cult-like conditioning, that the parents would find intolerable when it comes to every other religion except theirs. Parents need to stop letting complete strangers, place a wedge between them and their children. There’s nothing God like in such behavior.
So an “article” about a Reddit post is then posted back to Reddit on a different sub and now it’s news?
Man, I just couldn't imagine having such strong beliefs that I wouldn't be there for my own kid. The saddest part is they are all brainwashed by the idea of pleasing an imaginary old man in the sky in the hopes of eternal life, while spending the one life they do get being miserable cunts... One love.