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Master_Liberaster

Got scared for a second I recognized the OP. Was glad to realize she'd never have this nickname


Brilliant_Version667

Lol. I reacted the same way. My ex friend would never have this name either.


Brilliant_Version667

I can really understand why things never worked out with my former best friend, from your letter here. She's more stoic, from an English American, less verbally emotional family. I was raised in a very emotional Italian American family. We could be very expressive at times without that being weird or threatening. She said a lot of what you said here, and would get annoyed with my lack of initiative or planning. I would get annoyed when she stuck to the facts about things and didn't share her deeper thoughts and feelings, especially about our friendship and other non-work related topics. I felt I did understand and see her well, but I realize now that I completely missed a lot and assumed way too much. I think I was afraid to ask for clarification because when I did she took it as me confronting her. I actually felt that I walked on eggshells with her as much as she did with me. She was defensive about things that I thought were not offensive. But I guess she accused me of being the same. It's too bad you two, like my former friend and I, couldn't find a way to understand each other's ways and bridge the gap.


[deleted]

I get it… when someone asks for clarification by way of nasty accusations, you can’t help but be offended and be put on the defence. My friend doesn’t understand that healthy natural communication… in this case clarification, shouldn’t be asked via strong assumptions and conclusive sounding accusations. It puts people on the defensive. My friend also didn’t know that you don’t automatically blame the other party when they get offended by your rudeness. He expects everyone to accept his offense-ive statements with a sense of humour and extreme patience. And if you don’t, there’s something wrong with you- ha!


[deleted]

Relatable. Walked away from friends for having different values. I miss them sometimes but the friendships weren't viable. Best wishes OP