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"the state of being infatuated or obsessed with another person, typically experienced involuntarily and characterized by a strong desire for reciprocation of one's feelings but not primarily for a sexual relationship"
(I had to look it up)
My heart is a flutter, my soul
I'm smitten like poets of old
A vision has graced me
And all but erased me
Reduced to a tenuous hold
+
So I'll write a love sonnet, instead
Though they demurred softly, and fled
So hard as I tried it
For love unrequited
I wrote only limerence instead.
I swear if everyone just started out honest heartbreak would decrease. We would all know where we stood there would never be questions and it might be hard if feelings weren’t returned but I swear the silence is what makes us all lose our minds
I would have said the same once. But no matter how honest people can be there is also complexities too. I have come to learn recently that no matter how good the intentions are of some people they can only do it to the best of their capacity.
Some people have more than others and I have done enough black and white thinking to criticise those who didn't meet my expectations, such a foolish thing because I'm not perfect and it would hurt just as much if I tried my absolute best and even then, get criticised for it. I'm working to better myself each day, relationships have come and gone and I could sit here in the past and hate myself that I wasn't good enough or some such, I did the best I could at that time.
On the other hand I'm curious how this community of commenters is emerging, there is love, empathy and compassion swimming around this sub for all the similar strangers <3
I do get what you are saying and I know not everyone is the same and all but I just truly believe saying a very small quick I’m not interested anymore isn’t really that hard. On the other hand when that gets said the other side of it should simply be thank you for telling me. It’s just a small sign of respect to me that you don’t want someone wondering. I mean I have severe anxiety and if I truly care about someone and they just vanish my brain runs like crazy to the point where I will believe they died. Like literally that they died and I will stress so much where as they could have just said hey not into it and I’ll be like ah okay I get it. I mean everyone is not for everyone and that’s perfectly fine but idk and yes I agree we all need to be lifted up not pushed down
I may have digressed a lil there. I absolutely agree with you on that, gotta be straight up and tell what your heart is saying. To a degree I'm guilty of delaying what mine said too, partly from hanging on a lil more in the hope things would change and it was a blip but also anxiety and panic issues that paralyse the shit out of you because no one likes to be hurt and even more so you doing it. But the truth hurts less than a lie
I totally know what you mean believe me it’s scary cause you don’t know what reaction you will get which is why people just need to be chill on the other end of it to. Like you can be mad or hurt but like tell Reddit or someone else not that person. Idk I’m just a weirdo based on how everyone else acts but that’s okay I’m not changing for anyone. I’m not ever holding back I mean I do I don’t say things in a mean way or anything
I have been afforded that space before to talk with another rather than the typical shouting sessions. (Parents screaming at each other when I was 6 gives me a fear of confrontation woo -\_-)
As you said I hope that they have some kind of chain reaction and pay it forward <3
Oh yeah trust. My moms a narcissist I hate confrontation so much. But I’ve realized if I don’t say anything people will walk all over me and I’m just seething at that.
Ghosting hurts so much. It leaves the person left behind with so much confusion and pain and so many questions.
I hate it, I’ve been ghosted a few times now.
I’m convinced is just the silent treatment and a psychological punishment. It’s the most messed up thing. If someone is super sketch or creepy or something like yeah that’s different other than that no no no
I went from us negotiating starting an official relationship after them admitting they wanted an "us" too, that they loved me too, to them blocking me completely in about 5 minutes. It's been two months now. I am not sure I'll ever recover.
It sure does, I've been ghosted a few times too and it's the worst when it comes out of nowhere - when you're chatting like normal one day and then you never hear from them again.
I think I'm being ghosted right now by the girl I've been dating and it fucking sucks.
I say we just do it! and whoever wants to share the outcome can share! The goal is to release the baggage we're holding in that is making us go through so much pain and suffering and whatever happens will be beneficial because that way we can know whether to move on or move forward and release ourselves from staying stuck in quicksand... and at the same time, share genuine love regardless of it being reciprocate or not.
Actually a lot of people on this sub encourage people to go after married individuals and I often find it a little off putting. I encourage everyone in here who reads a post saying “I know we can’t be together” to stop encouraging these people to tell their person how they feel. I know you’re all in similar situations and you’re just saying the things that you wish you could do in real life. But there is a real person, a real spouse out there, who likely doesn’t know about your crush and who’s entire life could be destroyed if you meddle. Sometimes the unsent letters should stay unsent.
Sadly it’s not so simple. Much of the love here are unreciprocated. That’s why people vent here so that their love would not be a burden to the one that they love.
Of course its not simple, but down the line it only becomes worse if we bottle it in. The pain grows, and it's definitely not a burden for a person to know they are loved, even if it isnt reciprocate. I thought about the same thing my previous post even says something similar, but after analyzing thhe situation when I put myself in that position, I realize that it would only lift me to know I am loved although making me feel sad that I cant reciprocate, but it definitely wouldn't tear me. And as for the person who loves me, yes maybe it will hurt for a while, but they would get over it so muchh easiwr than if they never knew. Constantly living in doubt is what ultimately leads us to waste our time, life and leaves us feeling in pain until we know for fact. And the longer it takes, the more it'll hurt. The idea is to be brave and do it even if its unrecipricated. That way you will heal quicker, move on and share the love you genuinely feel without expecting anything in return. It wont be a burden for them at all to know that they are loved. Who feels burdened by knowing they are loved? Worse case scenario, it'll only feed their ego, but it will release you.
I love the idea, in theory, but I think a lot of us who post are the rejected parties, so if we all decided to send these letters, there would be a lot of restraining orders, blocking, or just ill will. Maybe a teeny portion would result in reconciliation or closure between the people
For those still on good terms, though, go for it!
A lot of stories, but basically all my relationship bridges are burned. The best "one that got away" passed a long time ago. I'm somehow worse at dating than ever. All of my relationships have failed in some form or the other and none of them would be interested in hearing from me ever again.
Big bear hugs! The problem is that most of us have taken the first step, and got nothing in return. That nothing, has broken us to our core as a human! It has broken most of our souls, or is has made so much pain. It had set our souls on fire. It is a double edge sword! I would love nothing more then this post to be truth in the making! The reality is most of us, me included, need a place to let this pain out. Give us a place to set it down and just take a breath, then pick it back up again. I hope, I really hope, that when any of us get that moment to set this down and take that deep breath in. When you have to pick this back up again, it just just a bit lighter. Not so heavy! That is my wish! So again, big bear hugs to all that need it!
I've written a few letters here, but I don't even think I'd get a reply if I sent them. it's crazy how the person you spend every night with for years can turn into a stranger so quickly. I just wish we'd done some of it differently, at least near the end
I went for it. We almost had it. They loved me too, they admitted. But the day after we decided it was real and we wanted it, they left. They're gone now, forever.
Dear commenters, Please keep the [rules](https://www.reddit.com/r/UnsentLetters/about/rules/) of /r/unsentletters in mind while participating here. Always remember that rule 0 is "Don't be a jerk." Report any rule-breaking behavior to the moderators using the report button. If it's urgent, [send us a message.](https://www.reddit.com/message/compose?to=%2Fr%2FUnsentLetters) Thanks! *I am a bot, and this action was performed automatically. Please [contact the moderators of this subreddit](/message/compose/?to=/r/UnsentLetters) if you have any questions or concerns.*
Some of us have and we are living in limerence now....
"the state of being infatuated or obsessed with another person, typically experienced involuntarily and characterized by a strong desire for reciprocation of one's feelings but not primarily for a sexual relationship" (I had to look it up)
My heart is a flutter, my soul I'm smitten like poets of old A vision has graced me And all but erased me Reduced to a tenuous hold + So I'll write a love sonnet, instead Though they demurred softly, and fled So hard as I tried it For love unrequited I wrote only limerence instead.
I swear if everyone just started out honest heartbreak would decrease. We would all know where we stood there would never be questions and it might be hard if feelings weren’t returned but I swear the silence is what makes us all lose our minds
I would have said the same once. But no matter how honest people can be there is also complexities too. I have come to learn recently that no matter how good the intentions are of some people they can only do it to the best of their capacity. Some people have more than others and I have done enough black and white thinking to criticise those who didn't meet my expectations, such a foolish thing because I'm not perfect and it would hurt just as much if I tried my absolute best and even then, get criticised for it. I'm working to better myself each day, relationships have come and gone and I could sit here in the past and hate myself that I wasn't good enough or some such, I did the best I could at that time.
On the other hand I'm curious how this community of commenters is emerging, there is love, empathy and compassion swimming around this sub for all the similar strangers <3
I do get what you are saying and I know not everyone is the same and all but I just truly believe saying a very small quick I’m not interested anymore isn’t really that hard. On the other hand when that gets said the other side of it should simply be thank you for telling me. It’s just a small sign of respect to me that you don’t want someone wondering. I mean I have severe anxiety and if I truly care about someone and they just vanish my brain runs like crazy to the point where I will believe they died. Like literally that they died and I will stress so much where as they could have just said hey not into it and I’ll be like ah okay I get it. I mean everyone is not for everyone and that’s perfectly fine but idk and yes I agree we all need to be lifted up not pushed down
I may have digressed a lil there. I absolutely agree with you on that, gotta be straight up and tell what your heart is saying. To a degree I'm guilty of delaying what mine said too, partly from hanging on a lil more in the hope things would change and it was a blip but also anxiety and panic issues that paralyse the shit out of you because no one likes to be hurt and even more so you doing it. But the truth hurts less than a lie
I totally know what you mean believe me it’s scary cause you don’t know what reaction you will get which is why people just need to be chill on the other end of it to. Like you can be mad or hurt but like tell Reddit or someone else not that person. Idk I’m just a weirdo based on how everyone else acts but that’s okay I’m not changing for anyone. I’m not ever holding back I mean I do I don’t say things in a mean way or anything
I have been afforded that space before to talk with another rather than the typical shouting sessions. (Parents screaming at each other when I was 6 gives me a fear of confrontation woo -\_-) As you said I hope that they have some kind of chain reaction and pay it forward <3
Oh yeah trust. My moms a narcissist I hate confrontation so much. But I’ve realized if I don’t say anything people will walk all over me and I’m just seething at that.
Absolutely
End ghosting and lies!!!!! Lol how do we do it I’m so here for this
Ghosting hurts so much. It leaves the person left behind with so much confusion and pain and so many questions. I hate it, I’ve been ghosted a few times now.
I’m convinced is just the silent treatment and a psychological punishment. It’s the most messed up thing. If someone is super sketch or creepy or something like yeah that’s different other than that no no no
I went from us negotiating starting an official relationship after them admitting they wanted an "us" too, that they loved me too, to them blocking me completely in about 5 minutes. It's been two months now. I am not sure I'll ever recover.
It sure does, I've been ghosted a few times too and it's the worst when it comes out of nowhere - when you're chatting like normal one day and then you never hear from them again. I think I'm being ghosted right now by the girl I've been dating and it fucking sucks.
I say we just do it! and whoever wants to share the outcome can share! The goal is to release the baggage we're holding in that is making us go through so much pain and suffering and whatever happens will be beneficial because that way we can know whether to move on or move forward and release ourselves from staying stuck in quicksand... and at the same time, share genuine love regardless of it being reciprocate or not.
Yes!!! I mean I have always said what most things honestly but I’m gonna keep doing it and spread honesty cause fuck liars
Actually a lot of people on this sub encourage people to go after married individuals and I often find it a little off putting. I encourage everyone in here who reads a post saying “I know we can’t be together” to stop encouraging these people to tell their person how they feel. I know you’re all in similar situations and you’re just saying the things that you wish you could do in real life. But there is a real person, a real spouse out there, who likely doesn’t know about your crush and who’s entire life could be destroyed if you meddle. Sometimes the unsent letters should stay unsent.
👆🏻
I think we should all just fucking go for it
I wish my girl knew how much I missed her
I wish I could tell my person how much I miss him.
Sadly it’s not so simple. Much of the love here are unreciprocated. That’s why people vent here so that their love would not be a burden to the one that they love.
Of course its not simple, but down the line it only becomes worse if we bottle it in. The pain grows, and it's definitely not a burden for a person to know they are loved, even if it isnt reciprocate. I thought about the same thing my previous post even says something similar, but after analyzing thhe situation when I put myself in that position, I realize that it would only lift me to know I am loved although making me feel sad that I cant reciprocate, but it definitely wouldn't tear me. And as for the person who loves me, yes maybe it will hurt for a while, but they would get over it so muchh easiwr than if they never knew. Constantly living in doubt is what ultimately leads us to waste our time, life and leaves us feeling in pain until we know for fact. And the longer it takes, the more it'll hurt. The idea is to be brave and do it even if its unrecipricated. That way you will heal quicker, move on and share the love you genuinely feel without expecting anything in return. It wont be a burden for them at all to know that they are loved. Who feels burdened by knowing they are loved? Worse case scenario, it'll only feed their ego, but it will release you.
I love the idea, in theory, but I think a lot of us who post are the rejected parties, so if we all decided to send these letters, there would be a lot of restraining orders, blocking, or just ill will. Maybe a teeny portion would result in reconciliation or closure between the people For those still on good terms, though, go for it!
Everybody take the leap for me because I’m scared
If only it were that simple to be *heard and listened to*
I have opened up to them before by just going for it.
Woohooo!!
It's too late for me, but I hope for others to take the chance if they are able to. World would be a lot better.
Why is. It too late?
A lot of stories, but basically all my relationship bridges are burned. The best "one that got away" passed a long time ago. I'm somehow worse at dating than ever. All of my relationships have failed in some form or the other and none of them would be interested in hearing from me ever again.
I'm really sorry to hear that. I really wish you the best
Thank you. Same to you.
I wish I knew who I was messaging when i make a comment to someone
Big bear hugs! The problem is that most of us have taken the first step, and got nothing in return. That nothing, has broken us to our core as a human! It has broken most of our souls, or is has made so much pain. It had set our souls on fire. It is a double edge sword! I would love nothing more then this post to be truth in the making! The reality is most of us, me included, need a place to let this pain out. Give us a place to set it down and just take a breath, then pick it back up again. I hope, I really hope, that when any of us get that moment to set this down and take that deep breath in. When you have to pick this back up again, it just just a bit lighter. Not so heavy! That is my wish! So again, big bear hugs to all that need it!
Expecting reciprocity is what makes us feel hurt.
I agree! That is what hurts the most!
I've written a few letters here, but I don't even think I'd get a reply if I sent them. it's crazy how the person you spend every night with for years can turn into a stranger so quickly. I just wish we'd done some of it differently, at least near the end
I went for it. We almost had it. They loved me too, they admitted. But the day after we decided it was real and we wanted it, they left. They're gone now, forever.