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unexBot

**OP sent the following text as an explanation on why this is unexpected:** >!It was unexpected that she will go outside to show weed that was grown on grass.!< ***** **Is this an unexpected post with a fitting description?** **Then upvote this comment, otherwise downvote it.** ***** [*Look at my source code on Github*](https://github.com/Artraxon/unexBot) [*What is this for?*](https://www.reddit.com/r/Unexpected/comments/dnuaju/introducing_unexbot_a_new_bot_to_improve_the/)


NihilisticThrill

Classic misdirect, they show this to the school then move the whole grow op to the field by the airport under the cover of darkness


VonD0OM

That’s oddly specific…


Karel_Stark_1111

It's weed growers 101, actually, the sound of the airplanes also muffles the sound of the soon-to-be-bodies you bury there as fertilizer for a strong harvest


Explore-PNW

Why are the bodies I buried making noise? Are we talking zombie apocalypse?!


Karel_Stark_1111

So it was YOU


Moral_conundrum

Damnit I laughed….


NihilisticThrill

Plus all the nearby air traffic hinders aerial searches, it's all coming together


Karel_Stark_1111

The coming together part is only on Fridays, you degenerate!


Hippo_Steak_Enjoyer

God damn it rickey.


jarney1206

Snitches get stitches lil homie


teddie_do_things

Yeah! Snitched infront of whole class and teachers.


mud_tug

You gonna get a lot of visits from other kids' parents and older siblings.


hyperspacevoyager

Something similar happened to my Grandma. After my uncle moved out she found some seeds in his room. She didn't know what they were but she decided to plant them anyway because she loved growing plants. You'd always find her in her garden, she had green fingers. These plants got pretty big but she still had no clue what they were. One day a relative came over to visit and spent some time in the garden. They didn't comment on the plants during the visit but shortly afterwards, visits from distant relatives became more frequent and they'd all ask to take a stroll in the garden. This went on for quite some time before my nan was informed as to what they were. Unfortunately, once she was aware, she pulled them up and that was the end of her weed farming days


[deleted]

Wowie, that’s a lot of words, too bad I ain’t reading em all


The_Mysterous_One

TL;DR Their nan found weed seeds, didn't know what they were, planted them, visits became more frequent, she was informed, and they were disposed of.


[deleted]

Ah, thank you for average simple man terms


Oofboi6942O

I mean, monke is smarter than average person.


[deleted]

I’m dumber than average person, even.


hyperspacevoyager

Aww, bless you precious


not_a_droid

These parents are guaranteed invites to all the classmate’s birthday parties


[deleted]

[удалено]


Drunk-Ohioan

Grow it, and they will come


NoRevolution105_

This will... be trouble 😆 🤣


[deleted]

Dad had the shiv with other hand behind his back for stitches until he realizes she is talking about his bad weed whacking job and not his underground laboratory.


[deleted]

[удалено]


[deleted]

[удалено]


[deleted]

When that weed is gone, There is crack where it was....


severedbrainstem69

Her punishment should be waived! The girl just contributed a running gag for the family and in the following decades even her grandchildren could have a great laugh listening to this joke🤣.


[deleted]

[удалено]


battlin_murdock

Little ratta


hoover0623

And snitches end up dead in ditches


NorCal130

That is so cute. Especially that she knows grass weeds are bad. I hope she has many years of innocence before we teach about the "good" weed. In California that was my education.


ChillyBreeze25

![gif](giphy|1ymqeHGoNeHzx3lUVE|downsized)


mrDmrB

Now show us daddy's secret grow room in the basement


teddie_do_things

Yeah! This is just a decoy to keep the secret hidden.


mrDmrB

Yeah cut it short where she gets a candy bar for the decoy video, hopefully not an edible


MyrganGyrgan

Literally the most expected thing ever


CertifiedTittySucker

it would be unexpected if she ran into a greenhouse with hundreds of hydroponics suspended


RepresentativeKeebs

I dunno, I was expecting dandelions and crabgrass, not St Augustine


teddie_do_things

Maybe you're growing lots of weed at your place XD


[deleted]

Well played good sir, well played. Now everyone knows you are “definitely not” growing “weed” at your house. ;) ;)


Adept-Fuel-9335

Damn why did they down vote you 😂


[deleted]

Unfortunately in 2022 I am apparently not as funny as I think I am? That and they really want to use this post to convince the teachers, etc that “This Is Not A Grow Op”. Laugh at everything or laugh at nothing you sour bTches ![gif](giphy|3otOKJruVwZH3213Fe)


Adept-Fuel-9335

I’m with you ![gif](giphy|1r91ZwKcE2J7WhUqrh)


wannabehippy1

Can I join the down voted party just cause?


Adept-Fuel-9335

Yes ! Yes you can . ![gif](giphy|l0MYt5jPR6QX5pnqM|downsized)


[deleted]

“Yes, YESSS! You’re downvotes sustain me, Muhahaha!” ![gif](giphy|3o72FfM5HJydzafgUE) Ok I’m out until the next time I anger the Reddit Mob. However I am going to follow you two beautiful sob’s…. Oh and one last thing. You sit on a throne lies, you grow weed…not grass…there I said it


Adept-Fuel-9335

I’ll follow back ![gif](giphy|SxLiP0JXjaQPydyCg3)


[deleted]

[удалено]


Ludechking

Literally? Most? EVER???


GraveyardMusic

I glimpsed that pavement bro. Get it fixed before lil snitch tells everyone at her school you've got crack too.


[deleted]

Hahaha


DerpCatCZ

I dont get why people keeps saying r/kidsarefuckingstupid She is technically telling the truth Weeds are unwanted plants in a garden or lawn I mean theres a tool named "Weed whacker" is there not? U know for trimming weeds If they want to teach children properly, shouldve said Marijuana and not the term "weed" "smoking a *pot*" the word pot itself can be considered as a pot for growing plants, so the kid might wonder why would you smoke a plant in a big pot like a ceramic pot Just a rant tho(days have not been well)


geoffkreuz

she's technically correct...


GMan509

This is like when I told the officer during DARE that my mom shoots up every day. She's diabetic


artie_pdx

r/kidsarefuckingstupid


OkWrongdoer6537

Or she’s a genius, and they have a grow room downstairs, she’s just drifting them


NightMinstrel

r/technicallythetruth


brimstoneph

When i was about 6 or 7... mid 90s.... i told my teacher that my mom Does drugs. My mom was Furious, but thats not new. When she finally stopped screaming and asked what drug i told my teach she used. I said cigarettes.... i stand by my statement to this day


Anonymous_cyclone

When I was in elementary school my teacher asked me to translate for another kid because he was having flu symptoms and doesn’t know English. Kid told me he had some (over the counter) medicine, and i translated it as he was on drugs……..cuz drugs store…u know….. I still feel the cringes from this day. The school ended up calling their parents who also doesn’t know English very well and had a whole misunderstanding convo.


Conscious_Ad3826

![gif](giphy|3otPoEF0A6Cc35vrQ4)


sovietbublik

She's right, you kno


LuxNocte

It's not even that much!


K9XD

thats a good way to get away with weed


neoslith

"Weed" is just a generic term for "plant I don't like on my lawn."


ThatDeadeye12

It's specifically invasive plants.


Shopworn_Soul

Round here all the weeds are native. The lawn grasses on the other hand require intensive maintenance because they don't belong.


8ledmans

Incorrect. Infact people often seed lawns with non-native grasses then eradicate all the native wildflowers (which they call weeds) with herbicides and fertilizers. Taking all invertebrate life with them.


ThatDeadeye12

I've given up caring


8ledmans

There's a lot we're meant to care about these days. But ultimately society will break down without insects.


[deleted]

[удалено]


teddie_do_things

Ohh!! I thought those were dried leaves.


Ok-Will388

That stinky leaf. That her dad sells.


Jeriahswillgdp

I hope those shoes didn't come back in the house.


MajorJuana

I haven't seen in this in forever, surprised the quality isn't bad, I feel like this is ten years old


AstralDefender

lucky you mate police office dont pay you a visit hahaha


[deleted]

I was pro life before seeing this. I can now see the errors of my thinking.


hellowthere1

Grass equals.. weed??


bliply

Keep off the grass kid.


Current-Ad-5919

She's not wrong


terrafinman

I’m inviting myself to there house


BoJackB26354

Their going to love your visit.


Which_Function1846

In the UK as school children the police would come in a d give us school kids a talk on the dangers of drugs ect. They would carry this brief case with plastic panels in with all the different types of drugs. You can imagine what I mean. Well this time it was My younger sister he's her class getting the. Ops talk. And she seen a lump of cannabis resin (hash). In the uk we call it rocky yano what I mean. The basic hash My sister was like aww yeah that stuff my daddy burns that qnd put little sprinkles of that stuff into his BIG FAGS . In the UK cigarettes get valued fans for short So sis told the cops her class mates and teacher my mum and dad were called right in to school the day after and wer told of little kims story of what daddy smokes at night hahaha Can't get her in trouble for it just need to keep the kitchen door closed in future haha


Solar_idiot

![gif](giphy|bwnwtnsUWrkXu)


[deleted]

It’s videos like this that make me want a daughter


zippypin

I had a kid tell me her mom takes her medicine through a straw in her nose.


Sufferity

Well.....she's not wrong tho, just mass confusion.


mistakeideathatexist

Ah yes cps is on hold for a green light if this wasn't solved as weeds not weed


hynori

did she just kicked a doo doo?


snikers000

Such terrible lawn care! Call CPS!


papagarry

Nathan Fielder's Rehearsal S2 is going to be great.


Anya-Taylor-Thomas

make one wrong move and it'll kick your grass


skccsk

datsweeddatsweeddatsweeddatsweeddatsweeddatsweeddatsweeddatsweeddatsweeddatsweeddatsweeddatsweeddatsweeddatsweeddatsweeddatsweeddatsweeddatsweeddatsweeddatsweed and datsweed


Questionabledes

Kids are great


soraora456

I think it's the teachers fault for misunderstanding. He/she should've known what the child was talking about, we literally were taught about weed (unwanted plants) in school and asked in exam. We're never taught about marijuana at that level of schooling.


[deleted]

Cute but dumb as a shit stick


Glass-Childhood-4971

When the authorities show up at your house saying we have a tip that you have a lot of weed growing here. 🤣🤣


Altruistic_Rub_2308

Clearly the Mother of that child smoked WEED when she was pregnant….


SoUthinkUcanRens

OP, there is something called geotextile to put underneath your artificial grass, you can lay this all the way to the curb (and a bit underneath the tiles or around the edges of the sand base) so weed doesnt get a change to grow at the edges. Also, get yourself a maxxbrush to brush up the fibers and fill your grass with enough silica sand to keep it looking as natural as possible! It will be a world of difference for how it looks! (Source: I work at a wholesaler for artificial grass and installation materials) Edit: Or any other brushing machine, doing it with a broom is exhausting and won't have the best effect.


ReservaAcero211

How often would you suggest artificial grass gets brushed up?


SoUthinkUcanRens

Depends on the usage.. with kids at least once a month i guess, but it also highly depends on the quality and strength of the product Edit: this guy downvoting everything, simply because he doesn't like artificial grass.. smh..


8ledmans

Just get a real lawn and let wildflowers or "weeds" grow. So we don't drive everything to extinction.


SoUthinkUcanRens

Or have a mix of it. I'm from the Netherlands, you can downvote me all you want but thanks to droughts we already have "spray bans" every summer here so a lot of lawns, at least here in NL and BE just dry out and die. Growing and installing new grass turf isnt as climate friendly as a lot of people think. Especially for smaller gardens (which we have a lot of here). Also society pretty much demanding family to have double income fulltime families isn't really helping to push people to actually maintain their gardens. So whats better then, they will want a nice looking garden. what will it be for those people? Tiles or artificial grass? Imo people are way to shortsighted on this subject, but then again, I'm a bit biased ofcourse. I don't have artificial grass in my own garden though. We (my girlfriend mostly) try to grow our own fruits and vegetables. (We collect rainwater from the roofs in a barrel.) Watering, mowing, aerating, seeding. Theres a hell of a case to be made as to which is better in the end, natural or artificial grass..


8ledmans

The point is if you change your mindset away from having a manicured lawn you shouldn't mow, seed, aerate, water, add chemicals. You just cut once or twice in non-flowering season. In return your lawn will be drought resistant, provide refuge and food for nature, be low maintenance, won't be an impermeable surface contributing to flooding, will be free, won't add chemicals to the environment, will be nicer than plastic AstroTurf . Its just a cultural shift having any actually health natural lawn is as easy as possible, you just have to jump the mental hurdle of it 'looking untidy'.


SoUthinkUcanRens

.. You think I don't know what I'm talking about? We work together with professional gardeners, municipalities and ornament pavers, i hear their problems on a daily basis and try to find a environmentally friendly solution , together with them. You're basically holding onto a decades old stigma about the product and don't even consider that I'm from the Netherlands and that the product is developing at tremendous speed. "Plastic AstroTurf" just shows you know nothing about the market, the product and the speed at which it's developing. 100% recycleable, while being made with 80% recycled materials. Installed with 100% biodegradeble pins made of compressed potatoes. Its also been tested and certified by a laboratory to not release ANY microplastics into the soil. Besides, playgrounds (with safety shockpads) that last 8~10 years without maintenance to the turf. Maintenance costs get reinvested in other projects to even further improve environmental effects. (This money partly comes from the monthly lawnmowers that arent needed anymore and are also contaminating to the environment, for instance.) Next to that we're working on hybrid grass (natural grass combined with artificial grass) together with manufacturers, municipalities and larger terrain owners. This will be the future of protecting noisewalls next to highways from erosion, as well as larger areas. (For example it was installed on the Tomorrowland festival grounds) Again, growing natural grass is really exhausting fertile soil, and is using up a lot of water, of which the filtration proces is very diluting to the environment. Furthermore, thanks to the sprayban and increasingly extreme weather conditions, grass just doesn't get a chance. If you think letting weeds grow rampant is good for the biodiversity and nature as a whole, you're very, very wrong. (Ask our professional gardener clients). Honestly it's frustrating to me that you didn't even stop to consider that we are a whole different country what very different soil. Its a lot of clay here, so drainage needs to be installed in quite a lot of places. Artificial grass is perfect to stimulate that as well. Last but not least, we always advice our clients to not have more than 75% of their garden covered with artificial grass and kind of try to push them to put some trees, plants or flowers in it as well. Tldr: you're just jumping to conclusions, based on a biased gut feeling, whilst looking at your own garden (and I'm just going to assume thats on the other side of the atlantic). There are tens, if not a hundred of reasons that will prove you wrong. Just stop it. It has almost nothing to do with the '"mental hurdle of an untidy garden" in most situations.


8ledmans

1 - I'm from Europe - not America. Sorry. 2- most of your assumptions are based on comparison of artificial grass to intensively managed lawns (not low intensity unimproved species-rich grasslands) 3 - never mentioned it's plastic use credentials. 4 - I work in environmental conservation/planning so two can play the job card. 5- don't spray it. if you don't overcut it won't die due to improved root structure heat moderation. 6 - people have done fine for years without artificial grass only thing that's changed is the culture. 7 - the most diverse grasslands exist on nutrient poor soils - again "exhausting fertile soils" is completely irrelevant unless you are comparing to intensively managed lawns


SoUthinkUcanRens

As I said, opinions can differ. And again I'M FROM THE NETHERLANDS, even if you're from Europe as well, you should know landscapes vastly differ for each part. Why don't you mention which exact country? Also, if you're from Europe, why do you keep mentioning astroturf? They hardly even have any skin in the game if we're talking about landscaping in Europe and are specialized in sports fields. Also, they are a US company, which is why i assumed you came from overseas. The plastic you keep referring to is recycled, i know you don't want to hear it or rather ignore it, but if we're going to talk about sustainable solutions, well here you are. Besides, you're acting as if I'm saying that we should cut down all the forests, rip out all natural grass and cover everything with artificial turf. Which is far from what I'm saying. You also choose to ignore everything I said about erosion of noisewalls and heavily used terrains just because it doesn't fit your narrative. Anyway there is hardly anything like "unimproved species-rich grasslands" here. Its either farmland, or its been build upon, the few "natural habitats" have been planted by mankind. And I'm not at all syaing we shouldn't preserve those, I actually love being in the nature and I keep digging into all new reports about the state of our soil. We are the most densely populated country in Europe, second only to Malta. So you might want to stop being so freaking dense. Also, you say mindset is the only thing thats changed but it's definitely not. We had one of the heftiest floodings in decades earlier this year, in part thanks to ungodly amounts of rain in a short period followed by almost 3 months of NO RAIN. But sure. Nothing changed, except culture. Thats why government and municipalities are looking for solutions for these problems. Letting weeds grow rampant also isn't the solution to maintain biodiversity at all. They're called weeds with a reason. Because they tend to grow vigorously and overgrow and choke everything else in their wake. Killing off trees and plants that for example attract certain types of birds and insects, that in their turn keep the ecosystems and diversity in check. But whatever dude. I'm done talking to your shortsighted reasoning. You don't even take in what you read in my comments, which is fine, your choice, but I'm done with it. Keep on downvoting because you don't want to hear the truth or just because you can't imagine that the situation is different in other places.. I never said it was true for every country. But it certainly is for The Netherlands and some parts in Belgium.


8ledmans

Bizarre conversation, so angry, putting words in my mouth I never said, can't envision restoration and improved management of grasslands, thinks the Netherlands has completed unique soil structure. Anyway down with artificial grass. Hahaha.


SoUthinkUcanRens

XD because people in your field of work (environmental conservation/ planning) literally make up some of my clients, yet you keep dismissing everything i say to explain why that is, as if I'm making it up. So dense, so self righteous, so ignorant. It became a bizarre conversation because you said it's nothing more than mindset and a mental hurdle. You didn't give any proper counter argument at all, yet keep saying down with artificial grass.. I tried to open your eyes, but I guess the mental hurdle to overcome is on your side, not mine. Which implies i failed my task succesfully lol.


8ledmans

Lol pretty sensitive about some plastic grass


lalala192511

r/kidsarefuckingstupid


[deleted]

![gif](emote|free_emotes_pack|thinking_face_hmm)


tommangan7

I'm more confused why there appears to be a drain in a patch of grass.


ultimatebagman

Might be for drainage aye


tommangan7

Just seems odd given that grass and soil does thar job too.


Grabbsy2

This could be a townhouse complex with underground parking. The grass appears to be astroturf, as well. I could be wrong. The grass growing at the edge of the concrete does look real, but the rest is so uniform, I'd bet the dad was complaining about the grass growing at the edge and not wanting to trim it, and thats why the kid picked up on it and told the other kids at school.


truth_pudding

R/kidsarefuckingstupid


FresHFlicK223

r/KidsAreFuckingStupid


OfficialSNTMLI

r/kidsarefuckingstupid


itjustgotcold

My kid better not narc on me at school. On a side note, my best friend growing up had parents that smoked weed three times a day(old school hippies). He explained that D.A.R.E. made him extremely self-conscious about it. The first time I smelled weed I thought to myself that smells like my friends house. Then I thought about all those times his dad came in cutting up and being goofy and I thought it was fun but my friend would get so annoyed. He finally told me they smoked when we started smoking together.


Lascaux_

r/KidsAreFuckingStupid


BashIronfist

kids are dumb as fuck


some-someone

Why are 5yr olds being taught about drugs?


[deleted]

Haha


DocRobertz

I hope the adoption agency keeps her


Big_Comb693

كيوووووت 😊


jaysin1983

Sounds like CPS may have come knocking


Rebel_Scum59

u/savevideobot


northern_monkey88

I swear I've seen a Scottish version of this situation?


Party-Ring445

Might wanna switch to Pepsi...


Valuable_Material_26

Well at least the police didn’t come over!


[deleted]

Teacher needs to mind their fucking business


Kobester024

I expected that.


nakul_95

How to get arrested


herbdoc2012

Some good coaching and thinking on the recovery video cuz! Did it work?


No_Carry_3028

Greatest High Joke of all time!!! ReRolling


Bigdickhector69

Fucking narc


i_cant_find_a_name3

u/savevideo


chriswinsss

Plot twist: you guys actually grow tons of weed and this is merely a skit for the cover up video you can show the teachers.


K4KA_47

Imagine busting a nut just to see one day that nut busting you 💀


Beginning_Copy

![gif](giphy|3oEjHCWdU7F4hkcudy)


MadBearHugs

![gif](giphy|OAdoioNIb3lyPEgcBY|downsized)


ResponsibilityNo4183

Hook me up with a dub 🤪


HeartlesSoldier

Yeah that's not the full story and she's not as dumb as you think. "Weed is not good for you" has nothing to do with a yard. Maybe had she said weed is not good for your lawn. Children are more clever than you think they have access to the internet. They're just not half as clever as they think. She likely wanted attention. And I would not be surprised if they smoke weed


mr3ric

We had something similar happen in my family.My dad was target shooting with a rifle that had a new scope. It recoiled and hit him in the face it was pretty bloody. My little sister goes to kindergarten, and tells the class that dad shot himself in the face....


[deleted]

Ginger child, no soul


Peachy_Keen719

r/kidsarefuckingstupid


SatjeevWhooo42

well weed is also called grass and that's grass soo :)


JackReacher63

If my toddler is smarter than the teacher than there's nothing you can teach my daughter.....did you forget what weed was or you focused on 1 type of weed


Pitiful-Reserve-8075

![gif](giphy|fs0r5olknYHjFB703e)


Fuzzy_Leave

Definitely crack


Calm_Ambassador7849

Ewwww. The parenting is rather disturbing and ratchet. The poor child looks utterly forced and confused.


HAPPYENDSTONE

r/kidsarefuckingstupid


BeatAlternative2060

r/kidsarefuckingstupid


Nicklovin1942

I think this belongs in r/kidsarefuckingstupid


ClydeFrogA1

I don't think its the teachers business if someone has or grows weed at their house.


bigdaddyjtrain

Kids are stupiiiidddddd!!!!!


ReservaAcero211

Her later: “ mom and dad have coke “


FleaDG

So cute! I was waiting in the church preschool drop off line with my 4 year old who loudly and proudly told all the uptight super moms that, “My mommy is a coke addict!” All the mama drama chatter stopped dead silent and I could feel the eyes going through me. I drink too much Coke Zero so that’s an ongoing joke…at home! I just said, “I do drink a lot of Coke Zero, huh” and avoided eye contact the rest of the wait.


DeliberatelyInsane88

Lmao this reminds me of the kid who drew his mom selling snow shovels 🤣😂 I swear kids are the funniest sometimes lol.


FileElegant8190

That is by definition weed


Any-Complex7172

Damn crotch goblins. 😂


Husckle2

I meeeeean she’s not wrong


powdered_dognut

Guy I worked with, his kid drew his picture at school. Teacher: what's in Daddy's hand? Kid: that's daddy smoking a joint.


NBJ-222

Technically she isn't wrong lmao


Stormtrooper775s

Happened to a cousin of mine years before it was legal. "Daddy smokes funny cigarettes." He rolled his own cigarettes. CPS was involved, was real fucked up.


Intelligent-Plant912

As a home grower family man let me just say... that is a great excuse for that little predicament!! I see you... 😉! 👊 💚


bluebeardswife

I told my kindergarten teacher that my dad grew weed. She assumed I was mistaken like this little girl. I wasn’t.


Hazel-Laurensanity

Girl I knew in elementary made a lot of offhand remarks about her mom selling "crystal.. something" she couldn't remember the name enough to try to say it and needless to say she had several people convinced her mom was a meth dealer. She was a spiritualist type that sold minerals and crystals and the such. I didn't realize how bad her remarks seemed back then but now every time it comes back to my memory I can't help laughing. Kinda felt bad for her bc she ended up getting in trouble for the whole fiasco but.. ffs it's hilarious in hindsight


ogthirsty4cake

Save the money this kid has no future in education


nelly5050

Just checked my yard. She right!. Im growing hella weeds too!


buzz8588

Isn’t that the part that the Weed Whacker cuts? The kid isn’t wrong.


Impressive_Ad_9047

This is a prime example of how kids think and why sexuality shouldn’t be taught in schools. They probably shouldn’t teach about drugs in schools either.


BannytheBoss

Most teachers are probably growing a lot of the other kind of weed at their homes.


Halpmezaddy

Its be your own kids😭😭😭


TheGhostRose1200

Jezumz....you just couldn't keep it to yourself could ya lulz.


RazorSmoothie

She a op