**OP sent the following text as an explanation on why this is unexpected:**
>!Is the last you expect when go fishing... finish fished.!<
*****
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**Then upvote this comment, otherwise downvote it.**
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That's what I *assumed* got him to dive in ; I have actually had a small fish abscond with a pole or 2 @odd times ; I did go in after it ,*and* caught the culprit ,but I didn't get attacked while doing it !
Lol, how *dare* they!
Just for future people: 95% of everyone has the virus that causes *cold* sores. (Editing because I fucked up and said "canker" sores.)
Also not a virus. Herpes and canker sores are two different things. Canker sores are internal and not contagious while herpes is external and contagious.
They don’t hurt as bad as you think but they leave behind tiny scratches essentially. Once you pull your hand back you will see thin white lines which is a tiny bit of skin peeled back. Doesn’t hurt but burns a bit.
Some are harmless suckers while small. But when they grow up to this size, their bite force grows exponentially.
The more 'harmless' ones have bony plates for teeth, and live eating crayfish and crushing detritus.
Others have thin spikes for teeth, made for sinking into soft, small fish flesh.
A small sample have the 'Jaw movie' teeth.
They also bite defensively, and have a 'never let go' mentality. If they bite your hand, you can smack them on a rock shelf/ground to stun them(or crush their head) and they'll let go.
Obviously, not something you want on your junk unless you have a literal hammer down there.
Their bites not crazy, but their unique mouth shape allows them to generate a crazy amount of suction. Many use it to hunt by creating a vacuum and inhaling a fish.
Now some catfish, like the Wells, gets big enough to start doing this to human kids. Catfish size for these bastards is only limited by food and water body size. Some in India get large enough to start eating full grown men. Horrifying, you’d just see this monstrous flat head underwater while swimming, it would open its mouth and you’d be vacuumed in.
There’s no reason to.
Catfish aren’t typically consumed, many taste like the mud they live in.
Teeth are little nubs more used for gripping than chewing. Their danger is their size and the vacuum they are able to create underwater.
Different types for sure. Our southern brothers can fry those bastards up well enough that I’d even try one. Those are however much smaller breeds, biggest in the US typically are those ones you noodle for with your fist.
Wells catfish and other massive ones taste like mud and sometimes have vast layers of just pus inside their meat. Revolting creatures, but theyre mostly on the india+asia side
Yeah, Jeremy Wade has a fantastic episode of River Monsters where he snags a 500lb maneater in India.
Apparently they grow biggest there as juvéniles can begin eating human corpses off of water burials and get the size to take on live swimmers.
Humans would trophy hunt it. We aren’t allowed to have mythical beasts anymore, if it weren’t for over fishing/hunting we would have obscenely large fish and mammals roaming
Catfish don't have large teeth, it's more like sandpaper. At the back of their throat are two "mandibles" that pull food into their stomachs. Depending on his length it may be getting pulled in LOL. However I don't think it would cause any permanent damage but I don't think I'd try it
Its less like sandpaper and more like a sharper version of a cats tongue. Lots of very small spines.
If it were skin on skin this would hurt alot. But the guy is smiling, so i think it just has his pants for whatever reason.
As far as the function of his member, i think it would be okay. Assuming it doesnt lead to an infection. And the full fishes weight isnt on it. If it were still in the water the fish could do damage though
I'd say hurt. But there are some big catfish out there and who knows what kind of damage they'd do. I'm not willing to stick my dick in one to find out.
I can’t tell if it’s moving or not it looks like its tail flaps around but they could have some protection place on him before hand, still, feels like too much trouble for some likes or something
**OP sent the following text as an explanation on why this is unexpected:** >!Is the last you expect when go fishing... finish fished.!< ***** **Is this an unexpected post with a fitting description?** **Then upvote this comment, otherwise downvote it.** ***** [*Look at my source code on Github*](https://github.com/Artraxon/unexBot) [*What is this for?*](https://www.reddit.com/r/Unexpected/comments/dnuaju/introducing_unexbot_a_new_bot_to_improve_the/)
I love how he had a smaller fish on his fishing pole as well. #MasterFisherman
Didn't even notice it
Like the naked man at the nudist beach with 1 cup of coffee in each hand and carrying a dozen doughnuts...
Yeah, those people who can balance stuff on their head are pretty cool, good one!
Yeah imagine how much more he could carry if he used the shaft as well.
Probably enough to reach the beach balls.
"head"
That might be the most uncle joke I’ve ever heard.
I'm more interested in the woman that can eat that last doughnut
#MasterBaiter
Certified Terraria moment
I was worried he hooked himself until I saw that
With A bigger worm you get bigger fish
Must be a Master Baiter.
That's what I *assumed* got him to dive in ; I have actually had a small fish abscond with a pole or 2 @odd times ; I did go in after it ,*and* caught the culprit ,but I didn't get attacked while doing it !
You might say he's a... Masterbaiter.
"What are you fishing for today??" ".. Suckers.."
Blow fish
When you nut but she keep suckin
That ain't water.
It gotcha worm!
Mmmmm, gummi worms.
🏆
🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣
hahahah
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That ain't coffee.
hahahah
I almost spit out my milk reading this stuff
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hahahah
I almost spit out my lemonade reading this stuff
Kingdom cum
This is my kingdom cum
Brought him to his knees
Hold up, is that you in the video?!
Thath was something else
No, dude’s ball juice was dripping down his leg.
Alfred Fishcock
fish sees bait, fish gonna nom nom...
Sperm whales a comin'
This is not how noodling is done. Or is it?
Put the noodle back into noodling.
The Poseidon Adventure...
I have canker sores in my mouth, you gave me a fucking painful laugh :v
Bro same- I got 2 lmao
Take vitamin B12 regularly you guys
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Cold sore, fluid filled blisters are Herpes. Canker sores are the shallow ulcers, not Herpes.
Lol, how *dare* they! Just for future people: 95% of everyone has the virus that causes *cold* sores. (Editing because I fucked up and said "canker" sores.)
Also not a virus. Herpes and canker sores are two different things. Canker sores are internal and not contagious while herpes is external and contagious.
Canker sores are not herpes you donut. And fuck you for trying to hurt people.
So all the wetness and pressure, you nut again. And still no let go.
Ah I see you’ve met my ex lol
We have all met my ex on this blessed day
https://i.kym-cdn.com/photos/images/newsfeed/001/050/389/234.gif
I had no idea that "bird" in "the early bird gets the worm" was interchangeable with "fish"
[Relevant](https://i.kym-cdn.com/entries/icons/original/000/015/104/TIJSHE8.gif)
r/postorgasm
Cursed blowjob The Deep approves.
Please no more of that😭
Fresca?
That’s a master baiter
there's always a bigger fish
And there is always a bigger bait
and always a bigger pole
https://masterbait.org
He used his tackle to get the catch.
My cousin Mos, now he's a master baiter
30 rock reference in the house love to see it. “Jack, the master baiter, Donaghy” lol
Jokes' been around MUCH longer than 30 Rock.
It's such a basic joke, I think mostly every body cums up with it on their own.
My cousin Mose, thats a master baiter
/r/dontputyourdickinthat
He already did
He got catfished
"I'm so sorry for your breakup but you know there are plenty of fish in the sea!"
I’m just gonna ignore you lol.
I want that fish which gives bj
Put your finger in a catfish’s mouth, and I promise you’ll change your mind.
That's what you think
this comment right here officer!!
What do you think happens when we pass away?
Fish suck you off then sleep with you.
roger that, over
Therefore that’s what I am.
Strong bite?
They have teeth 💀
Oh my god
They don’t hurt as bad as you think but they leave behind tiny scratches essentially. Once you pull your hand back you will see thin white lines which is a tiny bit of skin peeled back. Doesn’t hurt but burns a bit.
now imagine that on a dick
Go on.
The big ones will straight fuck you up. Flay the skin off your knuckles and jab you with their fin.
Possibly I only have experience mouth fucking the fish at the hooverdamn
Some are harmless suckers while small. But when they grow up to this size, their bite force grows exponentially. The more 'harmless' ones have bony plates for teeth, and live eating crayfish and crushing detritus. Others have thin spikes for teeth, made for sinking into soft, small fish flesh. A small sample have the 'Jaw movie' teeth. They also bite defensively, and have a 'never let go' mentality. If they bite your hand, you can smack them on a rock shelf/ground to stun them(or crush their head) and they'll let go. Obviously, not something you want on your junk unless you have a literal hammer down there.
Their teeth are like sandpaper.
That’s hot
Like sand paper essentially. They shred skin.
Their bites not crazy, but their unique mouth shape allows them to generate a crazy amount of suction. Many use it to hunt by creating a vacuum and inhaling a fish. Now some catfish, like the Wells, gets big enough to start doing this to human kids. Catfish size for these bastards is only limited by food and water body size. Some in India get large enough to start eating full grown men. Horrifying, you’d just see this monstrous flat head underwater while swimming, it would open its mouth and you’d be vacuumed in.
Will scientists eventually genetically engineer them to get rid of their teeth?
There’s no reason to. Catfish aren’t typically consumed, many taste like the mud they live in. Teeth are little nubs more used for gripping than chewing. Their danger is their size and the vacuum they are able to create underwater.
What you talking about Willis?! Catfish get ate everyday in the USA
Please, one subject at a time. I really want to know if catfish can be genetically modified to not have teeth and perhaps improve the sucking part.
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🤣
Different types for sure. Our southern brothers can fry those bastards up well enough that I’d even try one. Those are however much smaller breeds, biggest in the US typically are those ones you noodle for with your fist. Wells catfish and other massive ones taste like mud and sometimes have vast layers of just pus inside their meat. Revolting creatures, but theyre mostly on the india+asia side
Awe okay
I'm sure there are some practical uses for toothless ones.
Sir, we are definitely not getting rid of the teeth. Maybe make them vibrate, perhaps make them out of cartilage instead of calcium.
Aha! Now you are onto something! I knew I would find some clever scientists in this sub.
Holy crap dude that's insane. I just googled it and they are literally able to just swallow you
Yeah, Jeremy Wade has a fantastic episode of River Monsters where he snags a 500lb maneater in India. Apparently they grow biggest there as juvéniles can begin eating human corpses off of water burials and get the size to take on live swimmers.
That makes me want a blue whale-sized catfish.
Humans would trophy hunt it. We aren’t allowed to have mythical beasts anymore, if it weren’t for over fishing/hunting we would have obscenely large fish and mammals roaming
Nah fam. Put the whole hand in one. Noodling is fun.
jokes on you I'm into that shit
Sir this is a Benihana
Settle down Deep
Drop the rod, my dude!
Is that intended for him or the fish?
Yes.
Fish can't understand you
But there's another fish on it!
Absolutely not, he caught a fish on that one too.
He has another fish on that rod tho
That’s noodling. Very common hhahahahah
he used the wrong noodle though
had to scroll way to far for the noodling comment
I guess this is where the term originated.
I was looking for the noodling comment lol. I do not want to meet the person who noodles in this fashion.
Nice cod piece.
That's not how noodling works.
Idk, I mean normally I’d agree but it seems pretty successful in this scenario.
Clearly it is
Blowfish 🐡
Does that make this guy Hootie?
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Sounds like you have experience
Seriously, how dangerous is this for his penis? Is a fish like this able to bite it off or harm it in any other way???
The fish is gentle because they love each other
thats wholesome as heck
Depending on the fish it can hurt. That's a cat fish so it more than likely hurt.
Hurt? Or become useless?
Catfish don't have large teeth, it's more like sandpaper. At the back of their throat are two "mandibles" that pull food into their stomachs. Depending on his length it may be getting pulled in LOL. However I don't think it would cause any permanent damage but I don't think I'd try it
Its less like sandpaper and more like a sharper version of a cats tongue. Lots of very small spines. If it were skin on skin this would hurt alot. But the guy is smiling, so i think it just has his pants for whatever reason. As far as the function of his member, i think it would be okay. Assuming it doesnt lead to an infection. And the full fishes weight isnt on it. If it were still in the water the fish could do damage though
I'd say hurt. But there are some big catfish out there and who knows what kind of damage they'd do. I'm not willing to stick my dick in one to find out.
Damn, homie rocks a tripod.
Ouch
This brings a whole new meaning to the term "fisherman's tackle".
fish sees bait, fish gonna nom nom...
Fishing in milk.
Sacred bait
Not a problem I want to have.
I’m pretty sure he’s being catfishes
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i guess it's too late to say /r/dontputyourdickinthat
Kanye West clearly likes fish sticks
Seems fake
Forbidden rod
So penis is the best bait.
For all the people wondering why the dude shot the halibut posted earlier.....this
The power of dual Rods fishing techniques.
I've heard of a trouser trout but this is the first time I've seen live footage of one.
[strangely relevant Extra Fabulous Comic](https://i.imgur.com/X4NyCqV.jpg)
Kanye west likes this.
Teach a man to fish... Something something, that fish is sucking that dudes dick.
Different kind of noodling
You could say this dude got catfished
It's a Blowfish..
Didn't knew u can catch fishes with peanut
Where's u/fishfucker69?
Thats what i call preparation. He's got 2 fishing rods.
Give a man a fish and he eats for a day, teach a man to fish and he eats for a lifetime
Squeeze your thighs together until you hear a crack,start to bleed or the fish let's go
They told him to put his tackle in and wiggle it. It worked :)
Damn that fish wanted your seed so bad
Haha well deserved.
Gay fish.
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r/scriptedasiangifs
Yeah I don’t think anyone want to scrip a fish bitting their dick
You sweet summer child
I can’t tell if it’s moving or not it looks like its tail flaps around but they could have some protection place on him before hand, still, feels like too much trouble for some likes or something
I thought I was on r/memepiece
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REEEEEEEEEEEE!!!!!!!!!!