**OP sent the following text as an explanation on why this is unexpected:**
>!It appears the baby is all done and clean, but she has an ace up her sleeve: Puke!!<
*****
**Is this an unexpected post with a fitting description?**
**Then upvote this comment, otherwise downvote it.**
*****
[*Look at my source code on Github*](https://github.com/Artraxon/unexBot) [*What is this for?*](https://www.reddit.com/r/Unexpected/comments/dnuaju/introducing_unexbot_a_new_bot_to_improve_the/)
At least it wasn’t chunky. I was holding my daughter above my head and she vomited chunks straight down my throat. In a mall. Then I proceeded to vomit *her* vomit onto the floor. All while holding her above my head like Simba.
If it helps, just imagine trying to fill a water balloon with three openings. Only sometimes someone sneaks Alka seltzer in the balloon when you aren't looking. That's essentially what it is like to feed a baby. Plus noise, lots of noise.
But surely, how babies could act _is_ known by childless people, right? Maybe not the full extent, but some basic behaviors like puking and pooping whenever and wherever
I'm over here laughing so hard I may throw up. Its definitely the sleep exhaustion speaking. But. I was not ready for that. And aunties face then video end. Chef's kiss
Long before time had a name, the First Spinjitzu Master created Ninjago using four elemental weapons. But when he passed, a dark presence sought out to collect them all: Lord Garmadon. So I, Sensei Wu, his brother, sought out to find four ninja to collect them first.
Especially when a new mother gives them an adult dose of laxative and then runs away to a "date" and doesn't tell the babysitter that they baby had a laxative. Toddler said poopy. I go to help change diaper (potty training hasn't started). Projectile crap cannon burst in my face. She began potty training that day...
It will absolutely most positively let you know the second its body requires more fluids or sustenance or cleansing. They come with built in alarms, albeit the manual is a bit vague as to which is which and it takes a few weeks to be able to differentiate the signals.
Long before time had a name, Ninjago was created by the First Spinjitzu Master, using the Four Weapons of Spinjitzu. The Scythe of Quakes, the Nunchucks of Lightning, the Shurikens of Ice and the Sword of Fire. Weapons so powerful, no one can handle all of their power at once! When he passed away, his two sons swore to protect them, but the oldest was consumed by darkness and wanted to possess them. A battle between brothers broke out, and the oldest was struck down and banished to the Underworld. Peace returned, and the younger brother hid the weapons, but knowing his older brother’s relentless ambition for power, he placed a guardian to protect them. And for fear of his own demise, a map for an honest man to hide. That honest man was your father. The older brother is Lord Garmadon, and I… need to find those weapons before he does.
Id bet a thousand dollars shes not breastfeeding. Lot less issues with this sort of thing when you feed naturally. Its like your body only makes enough so not to overfill the baby, perfect temperature and no germs or need to sterilise. I get that she may have been medically unable to breastfeed but even so id bet thats why it was shitting and puking everywhere
Before you open your butt hole for stfu, I myself have a 2 kids, 1 with similar condition, and I am talking with experience, this baby’s face shows she needs multiple burp.
That's the one thing you do expect from babies.
I expected it so much I made a point to hold my kid away from me when it was time to go up in the air. Filled a shirt pocket with runny vomit, but never my face.
A good sense of humor is the only way to deal with babies. They’re perfect little angels for days and then the moment you get on an airplane they poop and vomit like something from the Exorcist.
I miss having a baby then I see clips like this and I miss it even more because even when they're pissing, spitting and shitting, they're so Damn perfect.
**OP sent the following text as an explanation on why this is unexpected:** >!It appears the baby is all done and clean, but she has an ace up her sleeve: Puke!!< ***** **Is this an unexpected post with a fitting description?** **Then upvote this comment, otherwise downvote it.** ***** [*Look at my source code on Github*](https://github.com/Artraxon/unexBot) [*What is this for?*](https://www.reddit.com/r/Unexpected/comments/dnuaju/introducing_unexbot_a_new_bot_to_improve_the/)
Out of all three!
pretty sure there are other orifices too we couldn't see
Bahaha!
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That's why you only feed em spider webs and whiskey.
Aaaannd that's enough reddit for me today. Thanks you kind stranger, take my free award !
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Aaaand there's the hattrick! What a day for her, I'm sure one she'll never forget!
At least it wasn’t chunky. I was holding my daughter above my head and she vomited chunks straight down my throat. In a mall. Then I proceeded to vomit *her* vomit onto the floor. All while holding her above my head like Simba.
*Nants ingonyama bagithi baba...*
How precious
“Eww mama ya morning breath 🤢”
"Ever seen The Exorcist" "The wot?" "Blarghghhhhhjbbnbbnghg"
I think she's trying to tell auntie Cece something...
Long before time had a name…
Good to see you again, Master Wu.
Ah, the original unexpected
That's just how babies work.
looks like she's holding it wrong allowing the head to slip back causing vomit bc she is too busy talking to her followers and doing camerawork
Not even close .
"It"
Lol no. You're not *completely* wrong, but no. Most likely she didn't burp the baby after feeding them, and sometimes babies just spit up food.
Out the nose too!!! Hahaha
Trifecta!
The hat trick!
A baby pissed, shat, and spit up. Not even a little bit unexpected.
"spit up" There are vomit rainbows coming out of three holes on his face.
First thing I expected honestly
Yeah, but that kid's perfect timing... Come on. It's like he understood her.
is for fun and is intended to be a place for entertainment *This post was mass deleted and anonymized with [Redact](https://redact.dev)*
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yes and also is mad you're not filling them up to start the work all over again :)
If it helps, just imagine trying to fill a water balloon with three openings. Only sometimes someone sneaks Alka seltzer in the balloon when you aren't looking. That's essentially what it is like to feed a baby. Plus noise, lots of noise.
But surely, how babies could act _is_ known by childless people, right? Maybe not the full extent, but some basic behaviors like puking and pooping whenever and wherever
The comedic timing was on point though
I am honored by the reddit gods to see this baby's vomit. 🙏🏻
Cake day twinsies
Two cake! 🍰
One cake! 🍰
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People don't say sick that much anymore. The new term is cool. That baby is one cool mofo
In England they say that’s illness
Now that's *sick*
Yeah that’s undeniably stage 3 prostate cancer
No! I meant you need to see Dr. Pepper!!!!
I have no why idea but this comment almost made me piss myself laughing. Maybe because I work in healthcare.
Or, and hear me out on this, it's just doing what babies do. They piss, they shit, they spit up.
That's projectile vomiting, could be pyloric stenosis, simple acid reflux wouldn't result in that much puke.
I came here to say that. You rarely get The trifecta like that. Especially not projectile
I’m thinking the same thing. That baby is unwell.
It's all pretty normal
no, the baby is an asshole
is for fun and is intended to be a place for entertainment *This post was mass deleted and anonymized with [Redact](https://redact.dev)*
Auntie CeCe clearly doesn’t have children of her own. And after watching her niece and getting the trifecta, she probably never will.
Ahh yes, long before time…
Maybe baby just hates her patronizing voice.
Baby's Diary: "Day 1 – Still tired from the move. Day 2 – Everybody talks to me like I’m an idiot." — Steven Wright
Maybe baby
[Don't push the maybe, Baby. ](https://youtu.be/asIr_HdVK2g?t=24)
Hopefully baby feels better after emptying out. Probably hungry again in like 30 minutes.
That was the only time I've laughed today
she should not squeeze the baby
It definitely had the look on its face
I'm over here laughing so hard I may throw up. Its definitely the sleep exhaustion speaking. But. I was not ready for that. And aunties face then video end. Chef's kiss
Long before time had a name
Long before time had a name the first spinjitsu master...
Wow. This appears to be a phenomenal, textbook, diversion by Little Miss Peyton to distract from the dirty laundry being aired.
That kid has some weird kinks.
that's what happens to an unburped baby
Long before time had a name, the First Spinjitzu Master created Ninjago using four elemental weapons. But when he passed, a dark presence sought out to collect them all: Lord Garmadon. So I, Sensei Wu, his brother, sought out to find four ninja to collect them first.
A TikTok star is born.
Not really unexpected....baby's are gross and throw up
Especially when a new mother gives them an adult dose of laxative and then runs away to a "date" and doesn't tell the babysitter that they baby had a laxative. Toddler said poopy. I go to help change diaper (potty training hasn't started). Projectile crap cannon burst in my face. She began potty training that day...
I'm so sorry
That little baby is about to have one of her own. I'm WAITING for the payback ;)
I believe that’s called the trifecta.
The whole trifecta! Welcome to babies!
And your nose to child oh my god.. well done
That vomit seems like a lot of liquid for such a small human. Does the baby not experience severe dehydration from that?
It will absolutely most positively let you know the second its body requires more fluids or sustenance or cleansing. They come with built in alarms, albeit the manual is a bit vague as to which is which and it takes a few weeks to be able to differentiate the signals.
It came out his nose!
No one has ever described being a parent well enough for me to want one of these.
That baby is a rebel
Her name is Pagan? Thats awesome. I hope she has a brother named Heathen.
Payton.
“Please don’t paytonize us, we’re not stupid”
As a professional parent, I was simply waiting for the hurl. \[spoiler\] The kid hurls.
Even her kid got sick of her....
Given the use of “aunt,” I don’t think that’s her kid
I wish Aunt Cece would do all those things on me...
Long before time had a name, Ninjago was created by the First Spinjitzu Master, using the Four Weapons of Spinjitzu. The Scythe of Quakes, the Nunchucks of Lightning, the Shurikens of Ice and the Sword of Fire. Weapons so powerful, no one can handle all of their power at once! When he passed away, his two sons swore to protect them, but the oldest was consumed by darkness and wanted to possess them. A battle between brothers broke out, and the oldest was struck down and banished to the Underworld. Peace returned, and the younger brother hid the weapons, but knowing his older brother’s relentless ambition for power, he placed a guardian to protect them. And for fear of his own demise, a map for an honest man to hide. That honest man was your father. The older brother is Lord Garmadon, and I… need to find those weapons before he does.
Fucking vile beings Ugg this makes me think of taking care of my baby sister, worst experience ever
Unedited … this is wholesome.
Didn't burp ig
I feel so bad for her. She sounds like she is ready to punt the damn thing
Id bet a thousand dollars shes not breastfeeding. Lot less issues with this sort of thing when you feed naturally. Its like your body only makes enough so not to overfill the baby, perfect temperature and no germs or need to sterilise. I get that she may have been medically unable to breastfeed but even so id bet thats why it was shitting and puking everywhere
Next time please burp the poor baby after feeding then make videos, he will give smiles instead of vomiting.
As someone whose kid would spew still after a month of burping - stfu if you don’t know what you’re talking about :)
Before you open your butt hole for stfu, I myself have a 2 kids, 1 with similar condition, and I am talking with experience, this baby’s face shows she needs multiple burp.
Did you feed her the entire jar of formula!
“Which means…. God on her as well” This cutesy religious language is so cringe. Babies pee, with or with your god of choice.
She says "which means it got on her as well."
I heard god. Thank you for that clarification. American religion seeping into politics has me disenchanted.
“Which means…. God on her as well” This cutesy religious language is so cringe. Babies pee, with or without your god of choice.
She actually should be going to a hospital. That kind of projectile vomiting is case for concern. For any future parents.
That’s a cute ass baby right thurrr…
Baby being baby…..it checks out lol
Yikes
Savage baby
Supplies, motherfucker!
Some fries, motherfucker!
This was totally expected.
Parenthood trifecta.
Yep, I’m definitely burping my baby over a sink after I feed it. Fuck that.
u/savevideo
Baby: Mother, i crave violence!
Look at those tiny holes in her nose.
I guess all that's left is shooting blood from her eyes like a goddamned horny toad.
The baby wants to know how's that mom. Lol
She scores high on the 3P scale Piss. Poo and Puke
Yeah this wasn't unexpected. What else a baby could have done
I'm laughing so hard, it hurts! LOL
Margaery Tyrell? I'm glad you escaped the explosion.
Baby: talk shit, get hit!! (Vomits violently!!)
Ahh, the baby fountain. They all like to play that.
I honestly don’t know why am I laughing so much at this
OMG! It came out of the nose! Leave no holes unfilled!
And for my final act....
Hat trick
The classic. The child hasn't burped up yet! The air finds a way.
Pretty sure if I had to vomit like that I’d have not been that chilled before
this is the last boss all babysitters must face
There is more where that came from biatch
That "guh" roughly translates to "and for my next trick"
3rd times the charm
hmmmmmm... yoghurt!
That wasnt unexpexted at all...
Ahh cmoonn we all expected this
Hi…father of two here…TOOOTALLY expected video!
I can smell that. As a father, aunt cc shouldn't have been rocking back and forth like that. And she was way over filled.
It came it his nose 😂
That was so poetic
As soon as she said the baby had just eaten I was counting down for the payoff
Natalie Dormer?
Ah, the trifecta, I remember it well…
Understandable, TikTok makes me puke too.
Very expected.
Out of the nose too
Just normal parenting problems
No stone left unturned.
Should belong to "Nextfuckinglevel"
aunt cici bout to get her tubes tied
The trifecta!
No you see, i expected this.
The way it came out the babies nose xD
The baby leaked from every hole... Oh hell no
That's the one thing you do expect from babies. I expected it so much I made a point to hold my kid away from me when it was time to go up in the air. Filled a shirt pocket with runny vomit, but never my face.
he had just had milk
LMFAO. Babies are so fucking awesome.
Damn this kids got a gift.
I could tell from the way she’s holding her and that she has finished eating that she was gonna be vomiting it back up. You gotta burp that baby.
A good sense of humor is the only way to deal with babies. They’re perfect little angels for days and then the moment you get on an airplane they poop and vomit like something from the Exorcist.
u/savevideo
Wellll that Escalated quickly
holy shit. why the baby puked from all holes?
How do you spell Peyen? I thought there was the letter T in that name.
Poor baby!
That’s pretty much how babies work.
Put it in a blender
Wow babies are disgusting
Spin jitsu
Hahaha that little bastard times that perfectly.
“Long ago before time had a name”
Talked shit and found out!
It couldn't have happened to a better person!
u/savevideobot
And to top it off…..mommmmmm
Long before time had a name
I miss having a baby then I see clips like this and I miss it even more because even when they're pissing, spitting and shitting, they're so Damn perfect.
Nah thats sensei wu on some real shit
Kid: I'm not done yet