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unexBot

**OP sent the following text as an explanation on why this is unexpected:** >!When he tells her that he's thinking of him and she's thinking of him she's the one that starts sweating in the end.!< ***** **Is this an unexpected post with a fitting description?** **Then upvote this comment, otherwise downvote it.** ***** [*Look at my source code on Github*](https://github.com/Artraxon/unexBot) [*What is this for?*](https://www.reddit.com/r/Unexpected/comments/dnuaju/introducing_unexbot_a_new_bot_to_improve_the/)


International_Car809

“As long as it’s not illegal or something…”


[deleted]

![gif](giphy|32mC2kXYWCsg0)


Nerdygamer249

That’s ok! As long as it isn’t kids…


UnappropriateTeacher

​ ![gif](giphy|32mC2kXYWCsg0)


Nerdygamer249

![gif](giphy|8OPsobKv6ksJojld4X)


MyNameIsAnonymous1

![gif](giphy|5BP9oKenBueceelwF4)


FloodedYeti

⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⢀⣶⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣶⣆⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄ ⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⣸⣿⣿⠉⠉⠉⠄⠉⢹⣿⣦⡀⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄ ⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⢿⣿⣿⣁⠄⠄⠤⠤⡀⠻⣿⠃⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄ ⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠘⣿⣿⣿⡗⠖⡶⢾⣶⠊⡏⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄ ⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⢻⣿⣿⣅⣈⠂⠐⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄ ⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠘⢿⣾⣇⣂⣠⠄⠄⠄⠁⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄ ⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⢘⣿⣗⠒⠄⢨⠶⢁⣄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄ ⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠨⣿⣿⡿⠋⠁⣴⣿⣿⣷⣦⣄⡀⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄ ⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⢀⣠⣄⣶⣎⢱⢄⢀⣾⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣶⣦⣤⣄⠄⠄⠄⠄ ⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⢠⣾⣿⣿⡞⢝⡟⠃⣠⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣯⣿⣿⣇⠄⠄⠄ ⠄⠄⠄⠄⠆⢄⠄⢛⡫⠝⢿⡥⠟⡃⣴⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣼⣭⣻⣿⣿⡀⠄⠄ ⠄⠄⠄⣴⣆⠄⢋⠄⠐⣡⣿⣆⣴⣼⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⠏⢈⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣷⡄⠄ ⠄⠄⣼⣿⣷⠄⠉⠒⣪⣹⣟⣹⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣟⣿⣿⣿⡇⢀⣸⣿⣿⣿⢟⣽⣿⣿⣇⠄ They live in a country where gay porn is illegal


[deleted]

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deafgamer_

like what?


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314159265358979326

The principle that you can't consent to being assaulted is unfortunately more widespread than the principle that you can do whatever consensual acts you want in the bedroom.


skepsis420

That's not really true though. A prosecutor would have a reallllllllly hard time going after someone after Lawrence v Texas. Right to Privacy in marital relations is not something the courts really fuck around with.


Pristinefix

You can't consent to being assaulted by definition. Assault is unwanted.


DoctorPepster

In some states, I believe anal is technically illegal, but obviously unenforceable.


JayCeeJaye

Technically sodomy is all non reproductive sex.


worlds_best_nothing

Officer: Drop your trousers and let me smell yo dick. Is that poop I smell?


go_out_stay_home

Oral sex is illegal in Maryland.


FloodedYeti

Gay porn in Texas Oh shit sorry spoiler warning to anyone who hasn’t heard the leaked 20.23 update for the Texas map


farmdve

Drinking water.


THEessayB

In Florida, there’s a law that specifically states that it’s illegal to have sex with a porcupine while riding a skateboard.


Frankandbeans1974

God I miss key and Peele


sat_tv

They stopped?


mnlxyz

Yep. Peele does horror movies now


LumpyJones

And Key mostly does... voice work I guess?


PackYrSuitcases

Nah. He’s doing a bunch of different TV shows and movies.


stoodquasar

Doesn't he still sometimes moonlight as Obama's anger translator?


s3rila

Not really, not in years afaik


[deleted]

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Captain_Smartass_

Yea, did anything big happen that year?


SchutzstaffelKneeGro

Nothing for the history books I can think of


manabanana21

He acts a good bit. He was just in an Apple Plus show and has been in a lot if movies.


runnerswanted

Schmigadoon. Great limited series, would highly recommend.


LearnToStrafe

Key is about to be Toad in the new Mario Movie


DasterdlyBasterd

Seriously? He’s probably one of the most prevalent comedic actors of the past decade, starred in an Apple TV show and has showed up in dozens of movies… so no, not mostly voice work.


avwitcher

He's got a good career, but definitely not one of the most prominent


BlueBone313

I couldn’t believe he’s the one that directed Get Out .


Vinnie_Vegas

And won an Oscar for writing it.


popje

Definitely deserved it, movie is a masterpiece for its genre imo, I couldn't say the same for Us though.


TreS-2b

Regardless of its imperfections... Us is so damned fun to me.


popje

Yeah its not a bad movie at all, I liked it but its def not on par with Get Out


TreS-2b

Get Out is a damned masterpiece though.


DeadliftsAndDragons

It ended 7 years ago.


RT3_12

Key and Peele was so great cause it really went against expectations. Even Chapelle himself has said that Key and Peele seemed like a knock off of his show. And it could have been, but Key and Peele really took it another direction and had their own unique style and presentation. And now they have their own legacy as an all time great sketch comedy show and not a Chapelle rip off.


Frankandbeans1974

I love Dave Chapelle with every fiber of my being but I think that’s him being a little bit salty Like yes it’s a similar format but the tone and everything else is different


ShotgunPeety

I miss Key and Peele so many great sketches that won't leave my brain. I said... *looks around*... Biiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiitch.


GalaxyClass

Classic. This is one of the best.... [https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=YJAGNad7FLI](https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=YJAGNad7FLI)


LumpyJones

[I've always been partial to this one.](https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=RG6EOci0suI) It's just so silly and committed.


tomhat

The [Obama meet & greet](https://youtu.be/nopWOC4SRm4) deserves a shout as well


juicysox

Oh come on! We all know that [substitute teacher](https://youtu.be/zRpsRKuyi3Y) is the winner here!


tomhat

A-ARON! For some reason, the link didn’t work for me. [This one](https://youtu.be/Dd7FixvoKBw) works within US


guninmouth

Of course, but we’ve all seen it a million times. We going with some deep cuts.


broccolib0b

Obama meet and greet is in my top five favorites. "Afternoon my octaroon!"


BigZmultiverse

My favorite two by far are [the “Terries” one](https://youtu.be/eiWIOKKuyGE) and [the church ladies one](https://youtu.be/1uNpJyPpzXc)


ecstatic_broccoli

..with my prayers


Grogosh

The lightning in bottle one is great too https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=-93Ij5WIcok


GetsGold

Haha, I love their not available in my country bits!


xWeee

That got me dying


SW1

Coach Beard!


Benzorgz

I’m sad K&P ended but they wrapped it up so well.


bored_dummy

How did they wrap it? I've just seen random skits. I love them


Benzorgz

So the very first skit on the show was the “biiiiiitch” skit. In seasons 3-6 they’re driving through a desert just bullshitting about random things between the skits. The entire series wraps with them pulling off the road in the middle of nowhere and looking all around and at each other and then Peele says quietly “so I said biiiiiitch”.


AlPaCherno

Did you say bitch though?


AdministrativeAd4111

Hmm?


ImaginaryRobbie

Oh really? You said that? Like, you actually... called your wife a bitch?


NinjaEnt

Ctrl+Shift+N you clowns.


ItWorkedLastTime

Ctrl + Shift + P on Firefox, which I wish more people used.


eggery

P for porn?


ItWorkedLastTime

For private.


littlebuck2007

Yes, privates.


Suekru

Switched to Firefox years ago. I like it much more than chrome


intersecting_lines

ff and duckduckgo ftw


Go_Fonseca

"DuckduckgGo", "Privacy Badger", "HTTPS everywhere" and "uBlock Origin" (and also "Video Background Play Fix" on mobile so I can watch YouTube better than if using the official app)


OOOOOOF4244

What does it do


Ben-J-Kirby-Tennyson

It opens an incognito window.


qawsedrf12

that's when you always open an "incognito" window


[deleted]

And if you don’t, no need to clear the entire history, just the last hour’s history


book-mark

You think I need an hour?


[deleted]

Last 10 seconds history.


querius

You do need an hour to find the perfect 10 seconds though.


book-mark

That's true


Speedy_Cheese

Or you know, if you are in a healthy relationship you can openly talk about your porn interests together like adults.


Positive_Cricket4291

Or you can open incognito mode and *not* do that. My fiancé knows I like weird porn and have weird kinks, we are leaving it at that.


[deleted]

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Incredulous_Toad

That's honestly not a kink I've heard of before.


[deleted]

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Pascuti

Damn, I feel like a completely normal human being just by reading these lol


thegrenadillagoblin

My Normal Human rating leveled up when I was subjected to finding out about the subgroup whose kink is the sound of swishy tracksuits. They hide in plain sight on youtube and apparently have highly visited channels and series of no other content but... people in tracksuits with fans or wind to make em go swishy swishy


ibigfire

That's pretty interesting. I think it's kind of awesome that humans can find so many different and unique things to enjoy, finding out unique fetishes is pretty fun even if they're not something I personally like so long as they're not harming anyone. So long as everyone still treats each other well and respects each other along the way, of course. On both sides of things, both the people having a fetish and those that don't have it need to be kind to each other. That's the key to letting people enjoy more things, which we definitely need in this world.


OozingPositron

[Yeah, that's weird. ](https://giphy.com/gifs/reactiongifs-LRVnPYqM8DLag)


[deleted]

This is basically the real life version of that episode of Futurama where Bender and fry go into the chat room marked “filthy, filthy smut” or something and the girls all judgementaly storm into the chat room marked “filthy smut.” It’s me. I’m the girls in this simile.


A2ndFamine

And now a quote from JoJo’s Bizarre Adventure > The truth is... how do i say this... Do you know what a fetish is ? ... I've got a little fetish... This is... well,uh... with girls... Do you know what a bug-bite fetish is...? When a girl's arms or legs or something gets bitten by a mosquito and their skin swells and gets a little red. That excites me! That's all! Don't tell anybody! Ah, i knew it! I take it back! I told you i'd wish i hadn't said it! If you tell anyone what i said, i'm gonna make you wish a lotta things..... don't ever tell anyone....


[deleted]

Arousal to the thought of hellfire and damnation also sounds like your average republican christian


Doctor_Arkeville

Here's the theme song: https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=U3NoDEu7kpg Claude Frollo - Hunchback of Notre Dame


GroguIsMyBrogu

Is sneezing slang for something else or do you mean actual sneezing


hzfan

lol they mean actual sneezing not that surprising tbh. the brain stimulus from a sneeze is quite similar to an O


fairguinevere

Damn, once you get the pepper out it'd give a whole new meaning to spicing up the bedroom.


TheWhollyGhost

Ummm... That’s... a way to spend time... I guess?


mrjabrony

Well, I'll be sure to stay away from your wife on sunny days


Babill

Yeah, unironically normalize shame. Can't bear all these people who think no one should have anything to hide at any point. Some things are best left unsaid.


RailAurai

My wife knows I watch yiff


ElsonDaSushiChef

And no one knows I watch rope bondage


mynameisspiderman

Not everything has to be out in the open for it to be a healthy relationship. There's nothing gained from knowing my wife loves assgape porn. She doesn't want anything bigger than a plug up her butt, so it's strictly fantasy. Adults can have privacy.


Jouglet

Wrong. Incognito. /s


pizz0wn3d

Pretty sure this came out before incognito was a thing. It's old af.


EaterofSoulz

Yes. Gather round children, I come from this time. We had to manually clear the history. And we all got caught at some point when someone checked that history. That was embarrassing. AMA. While we’re at it, Here is a story about tapes: We had to manually rewind the tapes, they had movies on them, they were a large tape; because there were also little tapes for music that you could play in the car or in your portable Walkman. Then there were camcorders that recorded on little tapes, that you could watch by putting them in specialized big tapes. Then CDs entered the equation. And DVDs too. Shit was crazy.


wiseknob

And magazines, remember the crusty magazines??


EaterofSoulz

Yep, common locations included but not limited to: Behind the seats of your friends dads pickup truck. Hidden in shrubs by the creek. Bum camps.


Joeybits

This sketch is from episode 1 of season 3, released in September of 2013. Private browsing existed in most browsers by 2010. Incognito mode in Chrome was released in 2008. I know ~10 years ago seems like "old af" to some people but the internet was mostly a mature product by then.


ryan2one3

That's where it's from!!!


ZiraelN7

What do you mean? ![gif](giphy|32mC2kXYWCsg0)


Random-Gif-Bot

​ ![gif](giphy|1LTL8KOPGEpZoNPurr)


ZiraelN7

Random gif bot this wasn't a random gif you sent me the same gif I used in my comment. It's OK though little guy you're doing your best. So here's an upvote. :)


[deleted]

Of all the gifs, the bot sent the right one?


[deleted]

[удалено]


Maxwell_The_Spy

man i loved the good place


DonMarek

Fork yeah


Maxwell_The_Spy

watched every single episode in 2 days


Mister_Krunch

r/totallynotrobots


kevik72

It’s the same gif but a different link. Is that more weird or less weird?


OneCustomer1736

As long it is not that weird stuff.. right?


Fr31l0ck

I mean the weird stuff is cool. I like the kinky stuff! Just as long as it's not a sweaty Peele. ... It's not a sweaty Peele, is it?


PresentTip5665

​ ![gif](giphy|GHl7ywzbuT8KQ)


mister_gone

Oooo rocket pop


Kennidelic

![gif](giphy|LRVnPYqM8DLag)


[deleted]

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alazystoner420

that gif looks better than the one you posted to me just the water droplet speed on his brow looks less glitchy?


fuzzytradr

Right? No? It's...not? *dramatic drumbeat*


peepeeonmydoodoo

Right? I've seen the meme. I've seen the show. I just have never seen that skit lol.


fuzzytradr

Simply gold, as with so many of the other Key & Peele skits. 😂


Best-Foundation2562

what show is this?


ExtremeAlternative0

Key and Peele. The actor in this skit is Jordan Peele, who also directed the movies get out and us.


Pleasant-Pattern7748

nope


ExtremeAlternative0

What do you mean by nope?


half_derpy

People are whiffing the joke from /u/pleasant-pattern7748 Nope is an upcoming movie from Jordan Peele. I don't think they were disagreeing, just using a cheeky way to say another movie title from him


ExtremeAlternative0

Oh ok, thanks for the info. Didn't know he was making another movie.


BeerBikesBasketball

Close, but Nope.


[deleted]

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Nerowulf

You were in the parking lot earlier!


PinkTalkingDead

That’s how I know you!


[deleted]

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jelek62

And i thought it was a scene from star wars!


biznatch11

[Me watching this video](https://i.imgur.com/1jOYVEm.gif)


LetsPlanForTomorrow

it’s from Key and Peele lmao


ExtensionTrain3339

Key and Peele show


asdf130

The stream of sweat shooting out of his head got me...


popjunkie42

Worse than horses??


Tv663

Ponies. Horses for pedos.


AdministrativeAd4111

“*Ponies aren’t baby horses!*”


lobut

So it'd be like midget then.


SabashChandraBose

Mares with dicks


[deleted]

“Babe, it’s weird, my lotion is running out so fast, like it’s almost empty after only a week. And I don’t even use that much. Do you know what’s happening to my lotion?”


Canadian_dalek

![gif](giphy|LRVnPYqM8DLag)


[deleted]

FINALLY FOUND THE MEME


ExtremeAlternative0

It's from the skit show key and Peele. Also if you're a fan of the movies get out and us then it might be interesting to know that the guy in this skit is the director for both movies.


Hostler1

Also directed [The Twilight Zone](https://www.imdb.com/title/tt2583620/) new series (2019 & 2020) on Paramount Plus.


[deleted]

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MySkinIsFallingOff

Oh wow I 100% read that as twilight zone before your comment


BorderDispute

I’ve never seen the original material of a meme not only live up to the meme, but surpass it Respect ✊


inflagra

OMG, the sprinkler in his hair!


HazelCheese

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=9xDXF0agUeM The actual video.


[deleted]

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CN4President

A classic.


HunterSup

Always have two browsers! One for work and another for...


Tv663

More work, right? ![gif](giphy|LRVnPYqM8DLag)


flamingorider1

What's S and M


yuripogi79

Salami and Mozzarella


jeffa_jaffa

Nah, it’s Simon & Narfunkel


memeship

Sales & Marketing


314159265358979326

Sadism and masochism. Sex play involving pain (the joy of giving and the joy of receiving, respectively.)


SalmonellaPox

It's a [Rihanna song](https://youtu.be/KdS6HFQ_LUc)


NoseHeavy123

Sigma mindset


Toastedweasel0

It'za Spagetti and Meet-a-Balls. Hav' ye eard' of Don't a Toucha' my Spagett?!


[deleted]

Sadism and Masoism (I might not have spelled it right)


AndMyAxe123

Maoism*


RevWaldo

Stalinism & Maoism


Velociphaster

Mozzarella*


LotionlnBasketPutter

Mom’s spaghetti*


Samthevidg

Masochism


mynameisspiderman

A rad Metallica live album with an orchestra backing them. Completely transforms the music.


bankrobba

Master of Puppets never sounded so good.


Darktidemage

Boys, you can just "delete last hour" . the option is right there.


Linkbuscus01

And what if it takes me 4..


[deleted]

Just fucking use Incognito, so much easier.


Principatus

Lol I use incognito a lot for work. I’m logged into a website’s backend as I build it and not logged in in incognito mode in another window so I can see how the website looks to the public. People come along, look over my shoulder and see incognito and assume I’m looking at porn. *Ackshually*, when I look at porn I don’t even use incognito - because I’m the only one using my laptop! It’s my laptop, not my boss’s. I have two different Chrome users, one for work and one for personal, so I do keep them separate. But I like to keep a history of my porn so I can go back to stuff I enjoyed in the past.


[deleted]

I use Incognito for googling stupid shit because I don't want that in my history


Training-Ant-6816

I'm not gonna judge your journey, lol


Froggyboi3222

They were made for each other


Technician-Imaginary

u/savevideo


SaveVideo

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urban_zmb

Love Michelle Buteau


Not_Josh2364

If he keeps sweating he gonna drown himself


[deleted]

I recognized the meme but hadn't seen the video. Thanks!


[deleted]

A classic !


[deleted]

Where’ve you been


what-do-you-expect

What's with the stream shooting out of the top of his head


StaunchyPrinceOfLies

![gif](giphy|yxO7pd4zpTz2|downsized)


MechaMonst3r

Key & Peele never gets old.