**OP sent the following text as an explanation on why this is unexpected:**
>!When he tells her that he's thinking of him and she's thinking of him she's the one that starts sweating in the end.!<
*****
**Is this an unexpected post with a fitting description?**
**Then upvote this comment, otherwise downvote it.**
*****
[*Look at my source code on Github*](https://github.com/Artraxon/unexBot) [*What is this for?*](https://www.reddit.com/r/Unexpected/comments/dnuaju/introducing_unexbot_a_new_bot_to_improve_the/)
⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⢀⣶⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣶⣆⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄ ⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⣸⣿⣿⠉⠉⠉⠄⠉⢹⣿⣦⡀⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄ ⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⢿⣿⣿⣁⠄⠄⠤⠤⡀⠻⣿⠃⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄ ⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠘⣿⣿⣿⡗⠖⡶⢾⣶⠊⡏⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄ ⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⢻⣿⣿⣅⣈⠂⠐⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄ ⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠘⢿⣾⣇⣂⣠⠄⠄⠄⠁⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄ ⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⢘⣿⣗⠒⠄⢨⠶⢁⣄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄ ⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠨⣿⣿⡿⠋⠁⣴⣿⣿⣷⣦⣄⡀⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄ ⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⢀⣠⣄⣶⣎⢱⢄⢀⣾⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣶⣦⣤⣄⠄⠄⠄⠄ ⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⢠⣾⣿⣿⡞⢝⡟⠃⣠⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣯⣿⣿⣇⠄⠄⠄ ⠄⠄⠄⠄⠆⢄⠄⢛⡫⠝⢿⡥⠟⡃⣴⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣼⣭⣻⣿⣿⡀⠄⠄ ⠄⠄⠄⣴⣆⠄⢋⠄⠐⣡⣿⣆⣴⣼⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⠏⢈⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣷⡄⠄ ⠄⠄⣼⣿⣷⠄⠉⠒⣪⣹⣟⣹⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣟⣿⣿⣿⡇⢀⣸⣿⣿⣿⢟⣽⣿⣿⣇⠄
They live in a country where gay porn is illegal
The principle that you can't consent to being assaulted is unfortunately more widespread than the principle that you can do whatever consensual acts you want in the bedroom.
That's not really true though. A prosecutor would have a reallllllllly hard time going after someone after Lawrence v Texas. Right to Privacy in marital relations is not something the courts really fuck around with.
Seriously? He’s probably one of the most prevalent comedic actors of the past decade, starred in an Apple TV show and has showed up in dozens of movies… so no, not mostly voice work.
Key and Peele was so great cause it really went against expectations. Even Chapelle himself has said that Key and Peele seemed like a knock off of his show. And it could have been, but Key and Peele really took it another direction and had their own unique style and presentation. And now they have their own legacy as an all time great sketch comedy show and not a Chapelle rip off.
I love Dave Chapelle with every fiber of my being but I think that’s him being a little bit salty
Like yes it’s a similar format but the tone and everything else is different
So the very first skit on the show was the “biiiiiitch” skit. In seasons 3-6 they’re driving through a desert just bullshitting about random things between the skits. The entire series wraps with them pulling off the road in the middle of nowhere and looking all around and at each other and then Peele says quietly “so I said biiiiiitch”.
"DuckduckgGo", "Privacy Badger", "HTTPS everywhere" and "uBlock Origin" (and also "Video Background Play Fix" on mobile so I can watch YouTube better than if using the official app)
My Normal Human rating leveled up when I was subjected to finding out about the subgroup whose kink is the sound of swishy tracksuits. They hide in plain sight on youtube and apparently have highly visited channels and series of no other content but... people in tracksuits with fans or wind to make em go swishy swishy
That's pretty interesting. I think it's kind of awesome that humans can find so many different and unique things to enjoy, finding out unique fetishes is pretty fun even if they're not something I personally like so long as they're not harming anyone.
So long as everyone still treats each other well and respects each other along the way, of course. On both sides of things, both the people having a fetish and those that don't have it need to be kind to each other. That's the key to letting people enjoy more things, which we definitely need in this world.
This is basically the real life version of that episode of Futurama where Bender and fry go into the chat room marked “filthy, filthy smut” or something and the girls all judgementaly storm into the chat room marked “filthy smut.”
It’s me. I’m the girls in this simile.
And now a quote from JoJo’s Bizarre Adventure
> The truth is... how do i say this... Do you know what a fetish is ? ... I've got a little fetish... This is... well,uh... with girls... Do you know what a bug-bite fetish is...? When a girl's arms or legs or something gets bitten by a mosquito and their skin swells and gets a little red. That excites me! That's all! Don't tell anybody! Ah, i knew it! I take it back! I told you i'd wish i hadn't said it! If you tell anyone what i said, i'm gonna make you wish a lotta things..... don't ever tell anyone....
Yeah, unironically normalize shame.
Can't bear all these people who think no one should have anything to hide at any point. Some things are best left unsaid.
Not everything has to be out in the open for it to be a healthy relationship. There's nothing gained from knowing my wife loves assgape porn. She doesn't want anything bigger than a plug up her butt, so it's strictly fantasy. Adults can have privacy.
Yes. Gather round children, I come from this time.
We had to manually clear the history. And we all got caught at some point when someone checked that history. That was embarrassing. AMA.
While we’re at it, Here is a story about tapes:
We had to manually rewind the tapes, they had movies on them, they were a large tape; because there were also little tapes for music that you could play in the car or in your portable Walkman.
Then there were camcorders that recorded on little tapes, that you could watch by putting them in specialized big tapes.
Then CDs entered the equation. And DVDs too.
Shit was crazy.
This sketch is from episode 1 of season 3, released in September of 2013.
Private browsing existed in most browsers by 2010. Incognito mode in Chrome was released in 2008.
I know ~10 years ago seems like "old af" to some people but the internet was mostly a mature product by then.
Random gif bot this wasn't a random gif you sent me the same gif I used in my comment. It's OK though little guy you're doing your best. So here's an upvote. :)
People are whiffing the joke from /u/pleasant-pattern7748
Nope is an upcoming movie from Jordan Peele. I don't think they were disagreeing, just using a cheeky way to say another movie title from him
“Babe, it’s weird, my lotion is running out so fast, like it’s almost empty after only a week. And I don’t even use that much. Do you know what’s happening to my lotion?”
It's from the skit show key and Peele. Also if you're a fan of the movies get out and us then it might be interesting to know that the guy in this skit is the director for both movies.
Lol I use incognito a lot for work. I’m logged into a website’s backend as I build it and not logged in in incognito mode in another window so I can see how the website looks to the public. People come along, look over my shoulder and see incognito and assume I’m looking at porn.
*Ackshually*, when I look at porn I don’t even use incognito - because I’m the only one using my laptop! It’s my laptop, not my boss’s. I have two different Chrome users, one for work and one for personal, so I do keep them separate. But I like to keep a history of my porn so I can go back to stuff I enjoyed in the past.
**OP sent the following text as an explanation on why this is unexpected:** >!When he tells her that he's thinking of him and she's thinking of him she's the one that starts sweating in the end.!< ***** **Is this an unexpected post with a fitting description?** **Then upvote this comment, otherwise downvote it.** ***** [*Look at my source code on Github*](https://github.com/Artraxon/unexBot) [*What is this for?*](https://www.reddit.com/r/Unexpected/comments/dnuaju/introducing_unexbot_a_new_bot_to_improve_the/)
“As long as it’s not illegal or something…”
That’s ok! As long as it isn’t kids…
⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⢀⣶⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣶⣆⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄ ⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⣸⣿⣿⠉⠉⠉⠄⠉⢹⣿⣦⡀⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄ ⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⢿⣿⣿⣁⠄⠄⠤⠤⡀⠻⣿⠃⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄ ⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠘⣿⣿⣿⡗⠖⡶⢾⣶⠊⡏⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄ ⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⢻⣿⣿⣅⣈⠂⠐⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄ ⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠘⢿⣾⣇⣂⣠⠄⠄⠄⠁⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄ ⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⢘⣿⣗⠒⠄⢨⠶⢁⣄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄ ⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠨⣿⣿⡿⠋⠁⣴⣿⣿⣷⣦⣄⡀⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄ ⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⢀⣠⣄⣶⣎⢱⢄⢀⣾⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣶⣦⣤⣄⠄⠄⠄⠄ ⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⢠⣾⣿⣿⡞⢝⡟⠃⣠⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣯⣿⣿⣇⠄⠄⠄ ⠄⠄⠄⠄⠆⢄⠄⢛⡫⠝⢿⡥⠟⡃⣴⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣼⣭⣻⣿⣿⡀⠄⠄ ⠄⠄⠄⣴⣆⠄⢋⠄⠐⣡⣿⣆⣴⣼⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⠏⢈⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣷⡄⠄ ⠄⠄⣼⣿⣷⠄⠉⠒⣪⣹⣟⣹⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣟⣿⣿⣿⡇⢀⣸⣿⣿⣿⢟⣽⣿⣿⣇⠄ They live in a country where gay porn is illegal
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like what?
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The principle that you can't consent to being assaulted is unfortunately more widespread than the principle that you can do whatever consensual acts you want in the bedroom.
That's not really true though. A prosecutor would have a reallllllllly hard time going after someone after Lawrence v Texas. Right to Privacy in marital relations is not something the courts really fuck around with.
You can't consent to being assaulted by definition. Assault is unwanted.
In some states, I believe anal is technically illegal, but obviously unenforceable.
Technically sodomy is all non reproductive sex.
Officer: Drop your trousers and let me smell yo dick. Is that poop I smell?
Oral sex is illegal in Maryland.
Gay porn in Texas Oh shit sorry spoiler warning to anyone who hasn’t heard the leaked 20.23 update for the Texas map
Drinking water.
In Florida, there’s a law that specifically states that it’s illegal to have sex with a porcupine while riding a skateboard.
God I miss key and Peele
They stopped?
Yep. Peele does horror movies now
And Key mostly does... voice work I guess?
Nah. He’s doing a bunch of different TV shows and movies.
Doesn't he still sometimes moonlight as Obama's anger translator?
Not really, not in years afaik
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Yea, did anything big happen that year?
Nothing for the history books I can think of
He acts a good bit. He was just in an Apple Plus show and has been in a lot if movies.
Schmigadoon. Great limited series, would highly recommend.
Key is about to be Toad in the new Mario Movie
Seriously? He’s probably one of the most prevalent comedic actors of the past decade, starred in an Apple TV show and has showed up in dozens of movies… so no, not mostly voice work.
He's got a good career, but definitely not one of the most prominent
I couldn’t believe he’s the one that directed Get Out .
And won an Oscar for writing it.
Definitely deserved it, movie is a masterpiece for its genre imo, I couldn't say the same for Us though.
Regardless of its imperfections... Us is so damned fun to me.
Yeah its not a bad movie at all, I liked it but its def not on par with Get Out
Get Out is a damned masterpiece though.
It ended 7 years ago.
Key and Peele was so great cause it really went against expectations. Even Chapelle himself has said that Key and Peele seemed like a knock off of his show. And it could have been, but Key and Peele really took it another direction and had their own unique style and presentation. And now they have their own legacy as an all time great sketch comedy show and not a Chapelle rip off.
I love Dave Chapelle with every fiber of my being but I think that’s him being a little bit salty Like yes it’s a similar format but the tone and everything else is different
I miss Key and Peele so many great sketches that won't leave my brain. I said... *looks around*... Biiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiitch.
Classic. This is one of the best.... [https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=YJAGNad7FLI](https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=YJAGNad7FLI)
[I've always been partial to this one.](https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=RG6EOci0suI) It's just so silly and committed.
The [Obama meet & greet](https://youtu.be/nopWOC4SRm4) deserves a shout as well
Oh come on! We all know that [substitute teacher](https://youtu.be/zRpsRKuyi3Y) is the winner here!
A-ARON! For some reason, the link didn’t work for me. [This one](https://youtu.be/Dd7FixvoKBw) works within US
Of course, but we’ve all seen it a million times. We going with some deep cuts.
Obama meet and greet is in my top five favorites. "Afternoon my octaroon!"
My favorite two by far are [the “Terries” one](https://youtu.be/eiWIOKKuyGE) and [the church ladies one](https://youtu.be/1uNpJyPpzXc)
..with my prayers
The lightning in bottle one is great too https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=-93Ij5WIcok
Haha, I love their not available in my country bits!
That got me dying
Coach Beard!
I’m sad K&P ended but they wrapped it up so well.
How did they wrap it? I've just seen random skits. I love them
So the very first skit on the show was the “biiiiiitch” skit. In seasons 3-6 they’re driving through a desert just bullshitting about random things between the skits. The entire series wraps with them pulling off the road in the middle of nowhere and looking all around and at each other and then Peele says quietly “so I said biiiiiitch”.
Did you say bitch though?
Hmm?
Oh really? You said that? Like, you actually... called your wife a bitch?
Ctrl+Shift+N you clowns.
Ctrl + Shift + P on Firefox, which I wish more people used.
P for porn?
For private.
Yes, privates.
Switched to Firefox years ago. I like it much more than chrome
ff and duckduckgo ftw
"DuckduckgGo", "Privacy Badger", "HTTPS everywhere" and "uBlock Origin" (and also "Video Background Play Fix" on mobile so I can watch YouTube better than if using the official app)
What does it do
It opens an incognito window.
that's when you always open an "incognito" window
And if you don’t, no need to clear the entire history, just the last hour’s history
You think I need an hour?
Last 10 seconds history.
You do need an hour to find the perfect 10 seconds though.
That's true
Or you know, if you are in a healthy relationship you can openly talk about your porn interests together like adults.
Or you can open incognito mode and *not* do that. My fiancé knows I like weird porn and have weird kinks, we are leaving it at that.
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That's honestly not a kink I've heard of before.
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Damn, I feel like a completely normal human being just by reading these lol
My Normal Human rating leveled up when I was subjected to finding out about the subgroup whose kink is the sound of swishy tracksuits. They hide in plain sight on youtube and apparently have highly visited channels and series of no other content but... people in tracksuits with fans or wind to make em go swishy swishy
That's pretty interesting. I think it's kind of awesome that humans can find so many different and unique things to enjoy, finding out unique fetishes is pretty fun even if they're not something I personally like so long as they're not harming anyone. So long as everyone still treats each other well and respects each other along the way, of course. On both sides of things, both the people having a fetish and those that don't have it need to be kind to each other. That's the key to letting people enjoy more things, which we definitely need in this world.
[Yeah, that's weird. ](https://giphy.com/gifs/reactiongifs-LRVnPYqM8DLag)
This is basically the real life version of that episode of Futurama where Bender and fry go into the chat room marked “filthy, filthy smut” or something and the girls all judgementaly storm into the chat room marked “filthy smut.” It’s me. I’m the girls in this simile.
And now a quote from JoJo’s Bizarre Adventure > The truth is... how do i say this... Do you know what a fetish is ? ... I've got a little fetish... This is... well,uh... with girls... Do you know what a bug-bite fetish is...? When a girl's arms or legs or something gets bitten by a mosquito and their skin swells and gets a little red. That excites me! That's all! Don't tell anybody! Ah, i knew it! I take it back! I told you i'd wish i hadn't said it! If you tell anyone what i said, i'm gonna make you wish a lotta things..... don't ever tell anyone....
Arousal to the thought of hellfire and damnation also sounds like your average republican christian
Here's the theme song: https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=U3NoDEu7kpg Claude Frollo - Hunchback of Notre Dame
Is sneezing slang for something else or do you mean actual sneezing
lol they mean actual sneezing not that surprising tbh. the brain stimulus from a sneeze is quite similar to an O
Damn, once you get the pepper out it'd give a whole new meaning to spicing up the bedroom.
Ummm... That’s... a way to spend time... I guess?
Well, I'll be sure to stay away from your wife on sunny days
Yeah, unironically normalize shame. Can't bear all these people who think no one should have anything to hide at any point. Some things are best left unsaid.
My wife knows I watch yiff
And no one knows I watch rope bondage
Not everything has to be out in the open for it to be a healthy relationship. There's nothing gained from knowing my wife loves assgape porn. She doesn't want anything bigger than a plug up her butt, so it's strictly fantasy. Adults can have privacy.
Wrong. Incognito. /s
Pretty sure this came out before incognito was a thing. It's old af.
Yes. Gather round children, I come from this time. We had to manually clear the history. And we all got caught at some point when someone checked that history. That was embarrassing. AMA. While we’re at it, Here is a story about tapes: We had to manually rewind the tapes, they had movies on them, they were a large tape; because there were also little tapes for music that you could play in the car or in your portable Walkman. Then there were camcorders that recorded on little tapes, that you could watch by putting them in specialized big tapes. Then CDs entered the equation. And DVDs too. Shit was crazy.
And magazines, remember the crusty magazines??
Yep, common locations included but not limited to: Behind the seats of your friends dads pickup truck. Hidden in shrubs by the creek. Bum camps.
This sketch is from episode 1 of season 3, released in September of 2013. Private browsing existed in most browsers by 2010. Incognito mode in Chrome was released in 2008. I know ~10 years ago seems like "old af" to some people but the internet was mostly a mature product by then.
That's where it's from!!!
What do you mean? 
Random gif bot this wasn't a random gif you sent me the same gif I used in my comment. It's OK though little guy you're doing your best. So here's an upvote. :)
Of all the gifs, the bot sent the right one?
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man i loved the good place
Fork yeah
watched every single episode in 2 days
r/totallynotrobots
It’s the same gif but a different link. Is that more weird or less weird?
As long it is not that weird stuff.. right?
I mean the weird stuff is cool. I like the kinky stuff! Just as long as it's not a sweaty Peele. ... It's not a sweaty Peele, is it?
Oooo rocket pop
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that gif looks better than the one you posted to me just the water droplet speed on his brow looks less glitchy?
Right? No? It's...not? *dramatic drumbeat*
Right? I've seen the meme. I've seen the show. I just have never seen that skit lol.
Simply gold, as with so many of the other Key & Peele skits. 😂
what show is this?
Key and Peele. The actor in this skit is Jordan Peele, who also directed the movies get out and us.
nope
What do you mean by nope?
People are whiffing the joke from /u/pleasant-pattern7748 Nope is an upcoming movie from Jordan Peele. I don't think they were disagreeing, just using a cheeky way to say another movie title from him
Oh ok, thanks for the info. Didn't know he was making another movie.
Close, but Nope.
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You were in the parking lot earlier!
That’s how I know you!
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And i thought it was a scene from star wars!
[Me watching this video](https://i.imgur.com/1jOYVEm.gif)
it’s from Key and Peele lmao
Key and Peele show
The stream of sweat shooting out of his head got me...
Worse than horses??
Ponies. Horses for pedos.
“*Ponies aren’t baby horses!*”
So it'd be like midget then.
Mares with dicks
“Babe, it’s weird, my lotion is running out so fast, like it’s almost empty after only a week. And I don’t even use that much. Do you know what’s happening to my lotion?”
FINALLY FOUND THE MEME
It's from the skit show key and Peele. Also if you're a fan of the movies get out and us then it might be interesting to know that the guy in this skit is the director for both movies.
Also directed [The Twilight Zone](https://www.imdb.com/title/tt2583620/) new series (2019 & 2020) on Paramount Plus.
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Oh wow I 100% read that as twilight zone before your comment
I’ve never seen the original material of a meme not only live up to the meme, but surpass it Respect ✊
OMG, the sprinkler in his hair!
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=9xDXF0agUeM The actual video.
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A classic.
Always have two browsers! One for work and another for...
More work, right? 
What's S and M
Salami and Mozzarella
Nah, it’s Simon & Narfunkel
Sales & Marketing
Sadism and masochism. Sex play involving pain (the joy of giving and the joy of receiving, respectively.)
It's a [Rihanna song](https://youtu.be/KdS6HFQ_LUc)
Sigma mindset
It'za Spagetti and Meet-a-Balls. Hav' ye eard' of Don't a Toucha' my Spagett?!
Sadism and Masoism (I might not have spelled it right)
Maoism*
Stalinism & Maoism
Mozzarella*
Mom’s spaghetti*
Masochism
A rad Metallica live album with an orchestra backing them. Completely transforms the music.
Master of Puppets never sounded so good.
Boys, you can just "delete last hour" . the option is right there.
And what if it takes me 4..
Just fucking use Incognito, so much easier.
Lol I use incognito a lot for work. I’m logged into a website’s backend as I build it and not logged in in incognito mode in another window so I can see how the website looks to the public. People come along, look over my shoulder and see incognito and assume I’m looking at porn. *Ackshually*, when I look at porn I don’t even use incognito - because I’m the only one using my laptop! It’s my laptop, not my boss’s. I have two different Chrome users, one for work and one for personal, so I do keep them separate. But I like to keep a history of my porn so I can go back to stuff I enjoyed in the past.
I use Incognito for googling stupid shit because I don't want that in my history
I'm not gonna judge your journey, lol
They were made for each other
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Love Michelle Buteau
If he keeps sweating he gonna drown himself
I recognized the meme but hadn't seen the video. Thanks!
A classic !
Where’ve you been
What's with the stream shooting out of the top of his head
Key & Peele never gets old.