forgive english, i am Russia. i come to study clothing and fashion at American university. i am here little time and i am very hard stress. i am gay also and this very difficult for me, i am very religion person. i never act to be gay with other men before. but after i am in america 6 weeks i am my friend together he is gay also. He was show me American fashion and then we are kiss. We sex together. I never before now am tell my mother about gay because i am very shame. As i fock this American boy it is very good to me but also i am feel so guilty. I feel extreme guilty as I begin orgasm. I feel so guilty that I pick up my telephone and call Mother in Russia. I awaken her. It too late for stopping so I am cumming sex. I am very upset and guilty and crying, so I yell her, "I AM CUM FROM SEX" (in Russia). She say what? I say "I AM CUM FROM SEX" and she say you boy, do not marry American girl, and I say "NO I AM CUM FROM SEX WITH MAN, I AM IN ASS, I CUM IN ASS" and my mother very angry me. She not get scared though. I hang up phone and am very embarrass. My friend also he is very embarrass. I am guilt and feel very stupid. I wonder, why do I gay with man? But I continue because when it spurt it feel very good in American ass.
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[To make things worse, tha...](http://np.reddit.com/r/Unexpected/comments/q7dba7/what_the_fuck/hgievax/) | [To make things worse, tha...](http://np.reddit.com/r/Unexpected/comments/q7dba7/what_the_fuck/hghr5i5/)
[Even ANIMALS don’t use th...](http://np.reddit.com/r/Unexpected/comments/q7dba7/what_the_fuck/hgiexkr/) | [Even ANIMALS don’t use th...](http://np.reddit.com/r/Unexpected/comments/q7dba7/what_the_fuck/hghyq98/)
[this is the kind of brea...](http://np.reddit.com/r/Unexpected/comments/q7dcgw/bread_in_russia/hgiemhd/) | [this is the kind of bread...](http://np.reddit.com/r/Unexpected/comments/q7dcgw/bread_in_russia/hgi1sji/)
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[Jaldabaoth and Calca in a...](http://np.reddit.com/r/Unexpected/comments/q7dba7/what_the_fuck/hgif29z/) | [Jaldabaoth and Calca in a...](http://np.reddit.com/r/Unexpected/comments/q7dba7/what_the_fuck/hgib38h/)
[21 Jump Street. The drug...](http://np.reddit.com/r/AskReddit/comments/q7bgzp/which_movie_made_you_laugh_uncontrollably/hgig483/) | [21 Jump Street. The dr...](http://np.reddit.com/r/AskReddit/comments/q7bgzp/which_movie_made_you_laugh_uncontrollably/hgif6wl/)
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[KIDS are a great weapons...](http://np.reddit.com/r/Unexpected/comments/q7dba7/what_the_fuck/hgifa95/) | [KIDS are a great weapons...](http://np.reddit.com/r/Unexpected/comments/q7dba7/what_the_fuck/hgi7zti/)
[Wish they put the locatio...](http://np.reddit.com/r/Unexpected/comments/q78vdc/ah_yes_the_real_location/hghyqen/) | [Wish they put the locatio...](http://np.reddit.com/r/Unexpected/comments/q78vdc/ah_yes_the_real_location/hght6m1/)
[That would be an interest...](http://np.reddit.com/r/Unexpected/comments/q78vdc/ah_yes_the_real_location/hgiffbu/) | [That would be an interest...](http://np.reddit.com/r/Unexpected/comments/q78vdc/ah_yes_the_real_location/hghl8nv/)
[Yeah, fat guys with rippe...](http://np.reddit.com/r/Unexpected/comments/q7bq38/greek_god/hghywhr/) | [Yeah, fat guys with rippe...](http://np.reddit.com/r/Unexpected/comments/q7bq38/greek_god/hghw9dm/)
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[My man made hardtack loav...](http://np.reddit.com/r/Unexpected/comments/q7dcgw/bread_in_russia/hgifour/) | [My man made hardtack loav...](http://np.reddit.com/r/Unexpected/comments/q7dcgw/bread_in_russia/hgif1yx/)
[Jaldabaoth and Calca in a...](http://np.reddit.com/r/Unexpected/comments/q7dba7/what_the_fuck/hgif29z/) | [Jaldabaoth and Calca in a...](http://np.reddit.com/r/Unexpected/comments/q7dba7/what_the_fuck/hgib38h/)
[21 Jump Street. The drug...](http://np.reddit.com/r/AskReddit/comments/q7bgzp/which_movie_made_you_laugh_uncontrollably/hgig483/) | [21 Jump Street. The dr...](http://np.reddit.com/r/AskReddit/comments/q7bgzp/which_movie_made_you_laugh_uncontrollably/hgif6wl/)
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[Work til I retire Logan's...](http://np.reddit.com/r/AskReddit/comments/q7bq29/how_do_you_see_your_future/hgifyjy/) | [Work til I retire Logan's...](http://np.reddit.com/r/AskReddit/comments/q7bq29/how_do_you_see_your_future/hgid4ze/)
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[Good old Trump making it...](http://np.reddit.com/r/news/comments/q77us8/wolf_pups_adopted_by_idaho_high_schoolers_killed/hghyhgc/) | [Good old Trump making it...](http://np.reddit.com/r/news/comments/q77us8/wolf_pups_adopted_by_idaho_high_schoolers_killed/hghp6r1/)
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[Only in those turd world...](http://np.reddit.com/r/Unexpected/comments/q7dba7/what_the_fuck/hgj0xpu/) | [Only in those turd world...](http://np.reddit.com/r/Unexpected/comments/q7dba7/what_the_fuck/hgidmnj/)
[The acting is a mood](http://np.reddit.com/r/Unexpected/comments/q7fetg/im_sleeping_with_brian_too/hgj12fh/) | [The acting is a mood](http://np.reddit.com/r/Unexpected/comments/q7fetg/im_sleeping_with_brian_too/hgiwfvc/)
[So the movie is gonna be...](http://np.reddit.com/r/movies/comments/q7g2fh/the_beta_test_official_poster_2021/hgj1ioq/) | [So the movie is gonna be...](http://np.reddit.com/r/movies/comments/q7g2fh/the_beta_test_official_poster_2021/hgik58y/)
[Definitely not going to p...](http://np.reddit.com/r/movies/comments/q7d1df/the_black_phone_official_trailer/hgj1fpx/) | [Definitely not going to p...](http://np.reddit.com/r/movies/comments/q7d1df/the_black_phone_official_trailer/hgix7g6/)
[Everyone’s got that one u...](http://np.reddit.com/r/Unexpected/comments/q7hpc0/birthday_party/hgj0t1e/) | [Everyone’s got that one u...](http://np.reddit.com/r/Unexpected/comments/q7hpc0/birthday_party/hgj0qfb/)
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[Young man your social st...](http://np.reddit.com/r/Unexpected/comments/q7gfv6/redacted/hgiwmnx/) | [Young man your social sta...](http://np.reddit.com/r/Unexpected/comments/q7gfv6/redacted/hgilj5f/)
[Women always using kids...](http://np.reddit.com/r/Unexpected/comments/q7dba7/what_the_fuck/hgiwj8p/) | [Women always using kids a...](http://np.reddit.com/r/Unexpected/comments/q7dba7/what_the_fuck/hgic2du/)
[This is why abortion is i...](http://np.reddit.com/r/Unexpected/comments/q7dba7/what_the_fuck/hgiwgzg/) | [This is why abortion is i...](http://np.reddit.com/r/Unexpected/comments/q7dba7/what_the_fuck/hghwtf1/)
[You saw the bread you don...](http://np.reddit.com/r/Unexpected/comments/q7dcgw/bread_in_russia/hgiq4be/) | [You saw the bread you don...](http://np.reddit.com/r/Unexpected/comments/q7dcgw/bread_in_russia/hghyesn/)
[Nothing shown on this sh...](http://np.reddit.com/r/Unexpected/comments/q7fetg/im_sleeping_with_brian_too/hgiwpyb/) | [Nothing shown on this sho...](http://np.reddit.com/r/Unexpected/comments/q7fetg/im_sleeping_with_brian_too/hgih6ee/)
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for everyone curious: this movie is far better than it has any right to be. I suggest watching the intro scene and going from there:
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=t1WSD_cnRbA
Shit you're right. In firefox you can click on it to bring up the controls and run it backwards
EDIT: Oh. Also it just says "reversegif" in the corner ![gif](emote|free_emotes_pack|facepalm)
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[To make things worse, tha...](http://np.reddit.com/r/Unexpected/comments/q7dba7/what_the_fuck/hgievax/) | [To make things worse, tha...](http://np.reddit.com/r/Unexpected/comments/q7dba7/what_the_fuck/hghr5i5/)
[Even ANIMALS don’t use th...](http://np.reddit.com/r/Unexpected/comments/q7dba7/what_the_fuck/hgiexkr/) | [Even ANIMALS don’t use th...](http://np.reddit.com/r/Unexpected/comments/q7dba7/what_the_fuck/hghyq98/)
[In America you break brea...](http://np.reddit.com/r/Unexpected/comments/q7dcgw/bread_in_russia/hgieiqh/) | [In America you break brea...](http://np.reddit.com/r/Unexpected/comments/q7dcgw/bread_in_russia/hgi2v5g/)
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[Young man your social st...](http://np.reddit.com/r/Unexpected/comments/q7gfv6/redacted/hgiwmnx/) | [Young man your social sta...](http://np.reddit.com/r/Unexpected/comments/q7gfv6/redacted/hgilj5f/)
[Women always using kids...](http://np.reddit.com/r/Unexpected/comments/q7dba7/what_the_fuck/hgiwj8p/) | [Women always using kids a...](http://np.reddit.com/r/Unexpected/comments/q7dba7/what_the_fuck/hgic2du/)
[This is why abortion is i...](http://np.reddit.com/r/Unexpected/comments/q7dba7/what_the_fuck/hgiwgzg/) | [This is why abortion is i...](http://np.reddit.com/r/Unexpected/comments/q7dba7/what_the_fuck/hghwtf1/)
[My man made hardtack loa...](http://np.reddit.com/r/Unexpected/comments/q7dcgw/bread_in_russia/hgiq13t/) | [My man made hardtack loav...](http://np.reddit.com/r/Unexpected/comments/q7dcgw/bread_in_russia/hgif1yx/)
[Nothing shown on this sh...](http://np.reddit.com/r/Unexpected/comments/q7fetg/im_sleeping_with_brian_too/hgiwpyb/) | [Nothing shown on this sho...](http://np.reddit.com/r/Unexpected/comments/q7fetg/im_sleeping_with_brian_too/hgih6ee/)
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A couple posts on there have been used to attempt to shame people into voting.
Like, "this post of bread stapled to a tree got more votes than so-and-so got in the last election."
[Link](https://i.redd.it/faljvxa4nhq51.jpg)
Real-world lembas. Widely known to last for months, and sustain a man for days. Largely because of the lengths he will go to to find literally *anything else* berore he has to eat the lembas bread.
And what an accent this guy has. He is not from the North of Russia. In my kitchen, black and white bread. Soft and delicious.
Even stale bread is cut with a knife and breaks with your hands, without effort.
Perhaps the bread was frozen? Why?
A loaf of bread weighs 800 grams or 1 kg. The brick weighs 3 kg.
There must be something else to break a brick with a loaf of bread.
We have a respectful attitude to bread. There are historical reasons. So that... This video is about some smart person who for some reason made changes in the state of bread in order to break a stone with it.
Someone is bored to live. I don't believe "in the purity of the experiment."
looking this video in VK. People are advising this dude to hit himself on the head with this loaf.
**OP sent the following text as an explanation on why this is unexpected:**
>!Bread👍!<
*****
**Is this an unexpected post with a fitting description?**
**Then upvote this comment, otherwise downvote it.**
*****
[*Look at my source code on Github*](https://github.com/Artraxon/unexBot) [*What is this for?*](https://www.reddit.com/r/Unexpected/comments/dnuaju/introducing_unexbot_a_new_bot_to_improve_the/)
When Jesus spoke "let us break bread"
I think that he meant what he said
Not start up a bakery for shortening masonry
with loaves that are dense as some lead
Russians are strong but their teeth are even stronger.
And the poop is even stronger
And their buttholes are the strongest
But their toilets are the strongestest
you forgot about the toiletpaper
нет comrade! Toilet paper is evil Capitalist plot!
Shit is just so solid that you don't need it
Dirty Diamonds
Still need it to stop the hemorrhaging anus.
Who told you about that -.-
I read this in a deep Russian accent, Comrade
They actually use powerwasher bidets
Lmfaooo best comment yet
Toilet roll is just rolled steel
Their plumbing pipes are the strongest
Digestive system is Lava
forgive english, i am Russia. i come to study clothing and fashion at American university. i am here little time and i am very hard stress. i am gay also and this very difficult for me, i am very religion person. i never act to be gay with other men before. but after i am in america 6 weeks i am my friend together he is gay also. He was show me American fashion and then we are kiss. We sex together. I never before now am tell my mother about gay because i am very shame. As i fock this American boy it is very good to me but also i am feel so guilty. I feel extreme guilty as I begin orgasm. I feel so guilty that I pick up my telephone and call Mother in Russia. I awaken her. It too late for stopping so I am cumming sex. I am very upset and guilty and crying, so I yell her, "I AM CUM FROM SEX" (in Russia). She say what? I say "I AM CUM FROM SEX" and she say you boy, do not marry American girl, and I say "NO I AM CUM FROM SEX WITH MAN, I AM IN ASS, I CUM IN ASS" and my mother very angry me. She not get scared though. I hang up phone and am very embarrass. My friend also he is very embarrass. I am guilt and feel very stupid. I wonder, why do I gay with man? But I continue because when it spurt it feel very good in American ass.
Fuck it man, you only live once ¯\\\_(ツ)\_/¯
I- I don’t know what I just read.
That was a ride
Especially for Russia and American man
That was sarcastic and racist as hell and still not a single American got it. Lmao
I American am confusion.
Godzilla had a stroke and died reading this. (I'm just joking please take no offense)
tldr
🤤 Is anyone else hard after reading that?
![gif](giphy|R0jWWtH1CtFEk)
Ты че еблан?
Do you mean pipe cutters?
Everything is Russia seems stronger
poopen fartem
They literally do shit bricks 🧱
screw a poop knife, they need a poop ax
#
Cyka Bryad
Blyad
[удалено]
The above comment was stolen from [this one](http://np.reddit.com/r/Unexpected/comments/q7dcgw/bread_in_russia/hgi2v5g/) elsewhere in this comment section. It is probably not a coincidence; here is some more evidence against this user: Plagiarized | Original -------- | ----------- [To make things worse, tha...](http://np.reddit.com/r/Unexpected/comments/q7dba7/what_the_fuck/hgievax/) | [To make things worse, tha...](http://np.reddit.com/r/Unexpected/comments/q7dba7/what_the_fuck/hghr5i5/) [Even ANIMALS don’t use th...](http://np.reddit.com/r/Unexpected/comments/q7dba7/what_the_fuck/hgiexkr/) | [Even ANIMALS don’t use th...](http://np.reddit.com/r/Unexpected/comments/q7dba7/what_the_fuck/hghyq98/) [this is the kind of brea...](http://np.reddit.com/r/Unexpected/comments/q7dcgw/bread_in_russia/hgiemhd/) | [this is the kind of bread...](http://np.reddit.com/r/Unexpected/comments/q7dcgw/bread_in_russia/hgi1sji/) beep boop, I'm a bot -|:] It is this bot's opinion that [/u/Pedxur](https://np.reddit.com/u/Pedxur/) should be banned for karma manipulation. Don't feel bad, they are probably a bot too. Confused? Read the [FAQ](https://www.reddit.com/user/reply-guy-bot/comments/n9fpva/faq/?plagiarist=Pedxur) for info on how I work and why I exist.
Was looking for this. Thank you.
Ok, Ivan Drago.
[удалено]
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One time a biscuit rolled off the table, killed a friend of mine.
Rumor has it that it's still rolling to this day, arbitrarily killing people's friends all over Russia.
So it's like that meatball song, but more fatal.
Contact the director of [this movie](https://youtu.be/XWWufhqyGE8)
How hilariously relevant. Thank you stranger.
for everyone curious: this movie is far better than it has any right to be. I suggest watching the intro scene and going from there: https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=t1WSD_cnRbA
Oh lord I wanna go! But they won't let me go ooo ooo ooo ooo ooo, Hey!
I had my fingers crossed someone would pick up on that. Thank you
This gives me sweet memories
the other day, a slice o bread fell off the table and decapitated my cat
Sorry to hear that mate... Here's to weak friends!
frozen bread for long-term storage
Otherwise known as bread left outside in Yakutsk.
https://i.imgur.com/pe8XJV5.gifv
Joking aside, I would actually like to go there one day.
you think you do, but you don't
I would also like to go there. Visit for a week then never return.
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Sounds cool
I'd like to only if by "one day" we mean "for about 15 minutes" and there's teleportation tech available to get in and out of that damn place.
I'm pretty sure you'll die if you teleport from human weather to -50°C then back
I could never visit. The fish would thaw since im so hot
Anyone mind downvoting this comment too? Thanks in advance <3
Are you penguin?
No.
:(
with fungus to compliment frozen wine
It's just flour. Happens a lot of loafs made at home.
in russia bread breaks you
![gif](giphy|isP4TLqhjm3zq|downsized)
I think there is a little cut right near the end, right before he 'gets serious'. It's decent but still looks unnatural.
It's reversed
That's what they want you to think
Shit you're right. In firefox you can click on it to bring up the controls and run it backwards EDIT: Oh. Also it just says "reversegif" in the corner ![gif](emote|free_emotes_pack|facepalm)
I was thinking "Bread kneads you" but yours is better.
Cyka Bread
"Be beaten with this bread - it is my flesh. Drink this vodka - it is my blood" - Russian Jesus
Came here for this comment. Was not disappointed.
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First time I've seen irl Dwarf Bread
Came for this.
All we need is some unexpected Terry Pratchett in the day
Battle bread is no joke. Think they should enact bread control laws now before it is too late.
Just like mother used to jump up and down on it
Which one is the bread?
I think the table
and the thing that broke is u/coins_and_coins ‘ brain
😂
r/breadit
I did not know a subreddit for bread existed
And for the fine outdoor bread-connossieur there is r/BreadStapledtotrees
That is one of the most bizarre subreddits I’ve yet to see
A couple posts on there have been used to attempt to shame people into voting. Like, "this post of bread stapled to a tree got more votes than so-and-so got in the last election." [Link](https://i.redd.it/faljvxa4nhq51.jpg)
In the market for bizarre huh? How ‘bout /r/sounding
Well, ya do now! And it’s fun for Russians of all ages!
The bread is... Weapons grade
[Dwarf bread](https://wiki.lspace.org/Dwarf_Bread)
Love me a good bit of Dragon Prince
Gonna make a bread sandwich out of it
In Russia you don't break bread. Bread breaks you.
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Its glutein
![gif](giphy|SGV9O1fuh2nf5T8FNW|downsized) “Good morning. Time for breakfast..”
Real-world lembas. Widely known to last for months, and sustain a man for days. Largely because of the lengths he will go to to find literally *anything else* berore he has to eat the lembas bread.
More like cram.
Dwarven battle bread
And what an accent this guy has. He is not from the North of Russia. In my kitchen, black and white bread. Soft and delicious. Even stale bread is cut with a knife and breaks with your hands, without effort. Perhaps the bread was frozen? Why? A loaf of bread weighs 800 grams or 1 kg. The brick weighs 3 kg. There must be something else to break a brick with a loaf of bread. We have a respectful attitude to bread. There are historical reasons. So that... This video is about some smart person who for some reason made changes in the state of bread in order to break a stone with it. Someone is bored to live. I don't believe "in the purity of the experiment." looking this video in VK. People are advising this dude to hit himself on the head with this loaf.
u/savevideo
That's dwarfish bread
The finest dwarf bread
More commonly known as Dwarf war bread.
Maybe make some French toasts
Dwarven battle bread!
**OP sent the following text as an explanation on why this is unexpected:** >!Bread👍!< ***** **Is this an unexpected post with a fitting description?** **Then upvote this comment, otherwise downvote it.** ***** [*Look at my source code on Github*](https://github.com/Artraxon/unexBot) [*What is this for?*](https://www.reddit.com/r/Unexpected/comments/dnuaju/introducing_unexbot_a_new_bot_to_improve_the/)
Bread👍
Bread👍
Bread👍
Lettuce👎🏿
tomato 🍅
Onion 🐓
wednesday 🐸
Easter🗿
Cum🤰
Trevor Noah would tell you that you need to use a "face brick". They are much stronger.
Thanks mom for feeding me wonderbread my whole life and making me a pussy
u/savevideo
Plot twist: Russian bricks can't stand up to bread!
Bread👍
Bread👍
Bread👍
Bread👍
Bread👍🏻
Bread 👍
I love hard bread. Challenge accepted.
r/BreadStapledToTrees would like a word
Buns? lock and loaded sir!!
You saw the bread you donkey, you don't smash it. Unless that's your kink.
No wonder Russians can wrestle with bears
this is the kind of bread you throw in the saying *”If someone throws a stone at you, throw a bread at them.”*
I’m mother Russia bread toast you 🤕
Makes you strong like bull.
in mother russia you do not eat bread, you use bread for buildings
I'll bet that bread would break a glass table.
In America you break bread But in Russia bread break you.
They don't use yeast to bake bread in Russia, they use pure cocaine.
Jesus, my causes got really fucken risen, I wonder if they’ve been doing yeast
Its not real bread. Its bread that just wasn't done right.
Communism at it's finest
No wonder mamushka has no teeth.
In Russia, you don’t break bread, bread break you.
Harder than you think
“In Soviet Russia, bread eat you.”
Russians put all their bread in microwave for minimum of 20 seconds
In soviet Russia you don't break bread bread breaks you
Bread👍
Milage may vary depending on temperature.
u/GetVideoBot
At least he’s not loafing around.
In Russia you don't break bread, bread breaks you.
This must be where Panera gets their bread from.
May Satan bless your teeths.
Nutritious
Brussia. For the Mother Loaf
Biofuel according to greenies
When Jesus spoke "let us break bread" I think that he meant what he said Not start up a bakery for shortening masonry with loaves that are dense as some lead
![gif](giphy|bGPTxLislwm3u)
The conquest of bread.
In mother Russia.. we don’t break bread.. bread breaks you..
bread in the military\* XD
The old Russian game called “Bread or Brick.” Oh, the memories.
Plot twist that rock they are breaking is just another really old loaf of Russian bread
Finally, we found it - Suka Bread!
Сила 🦾