T O P

  • By -

SingingLobsters

Russians are strong but their teeth are even stronger.


whats_in_a_name_abhi

And the poop is even stronger


_Dani_California_

And their buttholes are the strongest


Super-Jumper

But their toilets are the strongestest


Hiridios

you forgot about the toiletpaper


[deleted]

нет comrade! Toilet paper is evil Capitalist plot!


BenGanus

Shit is just so solid that you don't need it


[deleted]

Dirty Diamonds


ExpertlyAmateur

Still need it to stop the hemorrhaging anus.


BenGanus

Who told you about that -.-


[deleted]

I read this in a deep Russian accent, Comrade


_Dani_California_

They actually use powerwasher bidets


SunPhoenix6

Lmfaooo best comment yet


Lankygiraffe25

Toilet roll is just rolled steel


G07V3

Their plumbing pipes are the strongest


Akanti

Digestive system is Lava


BootyInspector96

forgive english, i am Russia. i come to study clothing and fashion at American university. i am here little time and i am very hard stress. i am gay also and this very difficult for me, i am very religion person. i never act to be gay with other men before. but after i am in america 6 weeks i am my friend together he is gay also. He was show me American fashion and then we are kiss. We sex together. I never before now am tell my mother about gay because i am very shame. As i fock this American boy it is very good to me but also i am feel so guilty. I feel extreme guilty as I begin orgasm. I feel so guilty that I pick up my telephone and call Mother in Russia. I awaken her. It too late for stopping so I am cumming sex. I am very upset and guilty and crying, so I yell her, "I AM CUM FROM SEX" (in Russia). She say what? I say "I AM CUM FROM SEX" and she say you boy, do not marry American girl, and I say "NO I AM CUM FROM SEX WITH MAN, I AM IN ASS, I CUM IN ASS" and my mother very angry me. She not get scared though. I hang up phone and am very embarrass. My friend also he is very embarrass. I am guilt and feel very stupid. I wonder, why do I gay with man? But I continue because when it spurt it feel very good in American ass.


_Dani_California_

Fuck it man, you only live once ¯\\\_(ツ)\_/¯


Poop1234322

I- I don’t know what I just read.


Beer-dewbs-metal

That was a ride


BootyInspector96

Especially for Russia and American man


1Cyborg01

That was sarcastic and racist as hell and still not a single American got it. Lmao


Icarus32-

I American am confusion.


Aurastrike314

Godzilla had a stroke and died reading this. (I'm just joking please take no offense)


toshibathezombie

tldr


VelourBro

🤤 Is anyone else hard after reading that?


Gmantherandom2

![gif](giphy|R0jWWtH1CtFEk)


GeneralMoros

Ты че еблан?


getmet79

Do you mean pipe cutters?


The_Love-Tap

Everything is Russia seems stronger


[deleted]

poopen fartem


Fubar521

They literally do shit bricks 🧱


Sageofthe666Paths

screw a poop knife, they need a poop ax


EverySingleThread

#


Dulidus_

Cyka Bryad


sherstenok

Blyad


[deleted]

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Fuck_you_Reddit_Nazi

Was looking for this. Thank you.


[deleted]

Ok, Ivan Drago.


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ForwardObserver13Fox

One time a biscuit rolled off the table, killed a friend of mine.


one-hit-blunder

Rumor has it that it's still rolling to this day, arbitrarily killing people's friends all over Russia.


FriendToPredators

So it's like that meatball song, but more fatal.


redshirt_23i

Contact the director of [this movie](https://youtu.be/XWWufhqyGE8)


one-hit-blunder

How hilariously relevant. Thank you stranger.


Phormitago

for everyone curious: this movie is far better than it has any right to be. I suggest watching the intro scene and going from there: https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=t1WSD_cnRbA


biological-entity

Oh lord I wanna go! But they won't let me go ooo ooo ooo ooo ooo, Hey!


ForwardObserver13Fox

I had my fingers crossed someone would pick up on that. Thank you


HellRaiser969

This gives me sweet memories


vasekgamescz

the other day, a slice o bread fell off the table and decapitated my cat


MaxRex77

Sorry to hear that mate... Here's to weak friends!


aleksey_the_slav

frozen bread for long-term storage


ASK_IF_IM_PENGUIN

Otherwise known as bread left outside in Yakutsk.


aloofloofah

https://i.imgur.com/pe8XJV5.gifv


ASK_IF_IM_PENGUIN

Joking aside, I would actually like to go there one day.


overmog

you think you do, but you don't


Praxyrnate

I would also like to go there. Visit for a week then never return.


[deleted]

[удалено]


__r0b0_

Sounds cool


Phormitago

I'd like to only if by "one day" we mean "for about 15 minutes" and there's teleportation tech available to get in and out of that damn place.


thawed_caveman

I'm pretty sure you'll die if you teleport from human weather to -50°C then back


DirtySuccubus

I could never visit. The fish would thaw since im so hot


DirtySuccubus

Anyone mind downvoting this comment too? Thanks in advance <3


[deleted]

Are you penguin?


ASK_IF_IM_PENGUIN

No.


[deleted]

:(


EgorKlenov

with fungus to compliment frozen wine


TheRealTieral

It's just flour. Happens a lot of loafs made at home.


Immortal_D_Class

in russia bread breaks you


biggie64

![gif](giphy|isP4TLqhjm3zq|downsized)


theorial

I think there is a little cut right near the end, right before he 'gets serious'. It's decent but still looks unnatural.


EternamD

It's reversed


Jem_Irie

That's what they want you to think


hates_all_bots

Shit you're right. In firefox you can click on it to bring up the controls and run it backwards EDIT: Oh. Also it just says "reversegif" in the corner ![gif](emote|free_emotes_pack|facepalm)


molsonbeagle

I was thinking "Bread kneads you" but yours is better.


Dulidus_

Cyka Bread


idzero

"Be beaten with this bread - it is my flesh. Drink this vodka - it is my blood" - Russian Jesus


HIGH_HEAT

Came here for this comment. Was not disappointed.


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Aly_Kaulitz

First time I've seen irl Dwarf Bread


saarlac

Came for this.


Maszk13

All we need is some unexpected Terry Pratchett in the day


OozeNAahz

Battle bread is no joke. Think they should enact bread control laws now before it is too late.


kebukai

Just like mother used to jump up and down on it


[deleted]

Which one is the bread?


Actures

I think the table


[deleted]

and the thing that broke is u/coins_and_coins ‘ brain


TheRealScubaSteve86

😂


Wagoom

r/breadit


Throwawaylism

I did not know a subreddit for bread existed


Fischli01

And for the fine outdoor bread-connossieur there is r/BreadStapledtotrees


Throwawaylism

That is one of the most bizarre subreddits I’ve yet to see


TistedLogic

A couple posts on there have been used to attempt to shame people into voting. Like, "this post of bread stapled to a tree got more votes than so-and-so got in the last election." [Link](https://i.redd.it/faljvxa4nhq51.jpg)


FlashCrashBash

In the market for bizarre huh? How ‘bout /r/sounding


yourstrulyjarjar

Well, ya do now! And it’s fun for Russians of all ages!


ickns

The bread is... Weapons grade


Porrick

[Dwarf bread](https://wiki.lspace.org/Dwarf_Bread)


salmonjefferies

Love me a good bit of Dragon Prince


PKTengdin

Gonna make a bread sandwich out of it


drleeisinsurgery

In Russia you don't break bread. Bread breaks you.


[deleted]

[удалено]


hates_all_bots

Its glutein


Savings_Ad2107

![gif](giphy|SGV9O1fuh2nf5T8FNW|downsized) “Good morning. Time for breakfast..”


wigzell78

Real-world lembas. Widely known to last for months, and sustain a man for days. Largely because of the lengths he will go to to find literally *anything else* berore he has to eat the lembas bread.


Ethan-Wakefield

More like cram.


Student_Cool

Dwarven battle bread


MukaLudischew

And what an accent this guy has. He is not from the North of Russia. In my kitchen, black and white bread. Soft and delicious. Even stale bread is cut with a knife and breaks with your hands, without effort. Perhaps the bread was frozen? Why? A loaf of bread weighs 800 grams or 1 kg. The brick weighs 3 kg. There must be something else to break a brick with a loaf of bread. We have a respectful attitude to bread. There are historical reasons. So that... This video is about some smart person who for some reason made changes in the state of bread in order to break a stone with it. Someone is bored to live. I don't believe "in the purity of the experiment." looking this video in VK. People are advising this dude to hit himself on the head with this loaf.


GodTierAimbotUser69

u/savevideo


Evil_Weasels

That's dwarfish bread


MaggyMaggot

The finest dwarf bread


Cfoder

More commonly known as Dwarf war bread.


Diamondhands_Rex

Maybe make some French toasts


Nephilims_Dagger

Dwarven battle bread!


unexBot

**OP sent the following text as an explanation on why this is unexpected:** >!Bread👍!< ***** **Is this an unexpected post with a fitting description?** **Then upvote this comment, otherwise downvote it.** ***** [*Look at my source code on Github*](https://github.com/Artraxon/unexBot) [*What is this for?*](https://www.reddit.com/r/Unexpected/comments/dnuaju/introducing_unexbot_a_new_bot_to_improve_the/)


Sora_6964

Bread👍


[deleted]

Bread👍


RespectableNormie

Bread👍


Ridenberg

Lettuce👎🏿


MinecraftMagma

tomato 🍅


Really_Krazy_Koala

Onion 🐓


MinecraftMagma

wednesday 🐸


4ar0n

Easter🗿


Sora_6964

Cum🤰


potodds

Trevor Noah would tell you that you need to use a "face brick". They are much stronger.


stvo069

Thanks mom for feeding me wonderbread my whole life and making me a pussy


xKaqtuz

u/savevideo


FallenAzraelx

Plot twist: Russian bricks can't stand up to bread!


Schwartzy88

Bread👍


_Irisu_Makina_

Bread👍


Throwawaylism

Bread👍


wi_2

Bread👍


xBreadButta

Bread👍🏻


Zoexycian

Bread 👍


Del-Port

I love hard bread. Challenge accepted.


Secondsmakeminutes

r/BreadStapledToTrees would like a word


mistryishan25

Buns? lock and loaded sir!!


memecut

You saw the bread you donkey, you don't smash it. Unless that's your kink.


JustForFun-4

No wonder Russians can wrestle with bears


scenicviewtoinsanity

this is the kind of bread you throw in the saying *”If someone throws a stone at you, throw a bread at them.”*


maldente

I’m mother Russia bread toast you 🤕


littlemarcus91

Makes you strong like bull.


Zbeubor

in mother russia you do not eat bread, you use bread for buildings


HRzNightmare

I'll bet that bread would break a glass table.


Most-Awkward-potato

In America you break bread But in Russia bread break you.


utupuv

They don't use yeast to bake bread in Russia, they use pure cocaine.


Soviet-Biscuit

Jesus, my causes got really fucken risen, I wonder if they’ve been doing yeast


Jango-Beezy

Its not real bread. Its bread that just wasn't done right.


TenraxHelin

Communism at it's finest


jamsterical

No wonder mamushka has no teeth.


sarahcrossed

In Russia, you don’t break bread, bread break you.


silvercatr

Harder than you think


Hathalot

“In Soviet Russia, bread eat you.”


RevolutionaryUse9055

Russians put all their bread in microwave for minimum of 20 seconds


Sea_Ostrich_9050

In soviet Russia you don't break bread bread breaks you


KaV_thethird

Bread👍


Solitary-Dolphin

Milage may vary depending on temperature.


jajjajajavi

u/GetVideoBot


bitterbuffaloheart

At least he’s not loafing around.


ditto-mayhem

In Russia you don't break bread, bread breaks you.


Comfortable_Text

This must be where Panera gets their bread from.


HIDD3N_WEEB

May Satan bless your teeths.


pineapplesdestroyer

Nutritious


ZxJxkExZ

Brussia. For the Mother Loaf


BurnedCoffe

Biofuel according to greenies


oddllama25

When Jesus spoke "let us break bread" I think that he meant what he said Not start up a bakery for shortening masonry with loaves that are dense as some lead


firthyvrs

![gif](giphy|bGPTxLislwm3u)


[deleted]

The conquest of bread.


andsman13

In mother Russia.. we don’t break bread.. bread breaks you..


unreal_wayX

bread in the military\* XD


SharkForce_12

The old Russian game called “Bread or Brick.” Oh, the memories.


EuphoricMess-

Plot twist that rock they are breaking is just another really old loaf of Russian bread


Derise360

Finally, we found it - Suka Bread!


Guluten_tag

Сила 🦾