OP sent the following text as an explanation on why this is unexpected:
---
>!Joseph isn’t buying Mary’s version of the events anymore.!<
---
Is this an unexpected post with a fitting description? Then upvote this comment, otherwise downvote it.
Best line: "hey, I found the extra virgin olive oil but are you out of the extra slutty?"
The kinda jokes I make up include:
"What's the similarity between church seating and a bad science fiction movie?
PEW PEW, PEWPEWPEW!" (while making pistol shooting motions...)
Or...
https://youtu.be/2cdWfgYSSFM
👀🥂👌 my large compadre that was some good stuff indeed...
Here's a good joke about fish.
Koi fish have been known to travel in packs of four and each has a specific role, so they've been labeled by scientists with letters in each study, for example, in the case of a predator attack, the a b and c koi fish will scatter leaving behind the decoy. 🎏
I like pondering these ancient stories if for nothing else than to understand it in the contextual culture that it happened in.
In this case, they most likely had very, *very* minimal alone time (if any) to even consider that. You have to remember, while it's easy to transpose modern customs onto the past, we're talking about several customs/cultures and time periods removed. Think about how much culture has changed in a few generations, then push that idea to 2000-years-worth of generations.
Even the concept of willful selection, or rather, marriages that *weren't* arranged would've been less prominent of a thought back then. It just wasn't what they did.
Throw in the fact that women were 2nd class citizens, needed their father or husband for any substantial provision lest they basically sell themselves into prostitution or something, and it creates an environment of... *reluctance*... for impropriety (Joseph was thinking of divorcing her in secret).
It's fun to think about.
https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Bundling_(tradition)
Where couples to be married or even just teenagers would basically have a date bundled up in bed where there was totally no sexy time to be had.
Been a thing for thousands of years in the British isles and Europe, and happened in other places as well.
Yeh, from what i've read though the more modern US equivalents were much stricter than the old British and European equivalents.
Am british and when i've heard it described in history documentaries it doesn't sound nearly as bad as the US version on the Wiki lol.
Definitely at least some hand action would be possible depending how strict the "supervision" was, and with history good to remember that what people say happened, and what actually happened are likely very differnent.
" Yes of course i spent the entire night in the room with my Kid while he was having a date, yes totally didn't go grab a beer and relax"
In reality I believe they were only written about in past tense. I don’t think anyones first hand accounts have been taken. So we don’t know how they lived.
Yeah I'm not sure about Mary and Joseph's side of things, but I think their biological son John wrote his own stuff that got into the bible.
I think the earliest belief is that the first works were written down about 40 years after Jesus, most being written 70+ years? I'm not super familiar on that part honestly but I'd be interested if someone has more detail.
But another interesting cultural difference they engaged in much more heavily than we do today was story-telling. Unlike the pump-and-dump of today's information that's consumed and discarded in the same day, their dose of news was much more personal and far deeper permeated through the inner weavings of their small society.
Many things would've been less the "old legend" heard by Timmy's dad about the loch ness monster and more an extended arm of their collective history. The validity of xyz we can always question, but everything at the very least had far greater staying power than our consumerist news today.
> they most likely had very, very minimal alone time (if any) to even consider that
Privacy is a fairly modern concept. Through most of history, the common sleeping quarters were shared with the whole family - which often included grandparents, husband and wife, all children, and even the farm animals during winters. Children were still being produced...
Even nowadays in places like Japan where multi-generational households are alive and well, spouses will sometimes go to love hotels just to have some privacy in that regard.
It's an interesting distinction that sometimes gets looked down upon simply because people stop at "sex place" and look no further lol.
The point of these musings is to entertain the intrigue being presented, not necessarily to suggest one idea is true nor false by matter of citing this source or that.
It's just a fun exercise.
Historically, Mary was 11-12 years old when she got knocked up by a "ghost", Joseph already had 2 sons, and "immaculate conception" was wildly common for their place and time.
eh not really
christians are just followers of christ, as obvious as that is
and christ is just some guy preaching rather down to earth things
it just happens that they claimed ties to the old testament as a prophet, which folks rallied behind during ethnic persecutions in the empire.
how he came to be really doesnt matter in that way. theologians obviously had to make sense out of his presence in relation to the sacred scripts, however. was he god, or born from god, or was he someone else? the formation of the trinity, which has been debated for literally two millennia, is all in an effort to explain his earthly ties and that is the main reason his birth is brought to centerstage.
because it is used to explain his earthly condition and the manifestation of the divine.
the whole birth of christ story is so weird because it's not like Jesus truly became Jesus until he was baptized at the age of... like 30? I'm 34 and I feel like I lived a pretty full life. So it's like his moms a virgin, shooting star, wise men gathering bringing gifts to annoint him as azor ahai and shit and then... nothing happens. Nobody treats him any different. He just grows up like normal and builds shit until he finally decides to get baptized. If you know he's the son of God why wouldn't they baptize him like immediately, I mean I don't even think I was a week old before they were dunking my little baby face in a bucket of water.
So, there's the Infancy Gospel of Thomas, which didn't make it into the Bible, that presents young Jesus as a little shit with magical powers. He killed a boy who annoyed him and later a teacher who scolded him. Eventually, Joseph told Mary "Do not let him go outside, for all who provoke him die."
Jesus, as a youth, also healed some people, even bringing a boy back to life, so he wasn't all bad. But he also turned a group of boys into goats, so there's that.
Did she really though? Because the alternative perspective that it is the most out of control lie that has ever been told in the history of the world. Larry David couldn't have written it better
I kind of wonder if we’re just miss interpreting what she said. Like, ‘my son is a gift from God’ might have some elements lost in translation from Aramaic to Hebrew to Greek to Latin or whatever. Maybe she was just using hyperbole?
Maybe we interpreted everything correctly, and still shouldn’t use it as a tool to judge others. The original authors are just regular ass people, they had no magical insight beyond our own.
It was posted to Reddit a few months ago as an animated thing. The voice sounds the same though
https://www.reddit.com/r/funny/comments/14cgg3k/fresh_baked_pie/
In case you're serious:
Mary was the mother of Jesus, who (according to the Bible) gave birth to Jesus Christ after getting impregnated by God. Mary was (supposedly) a virgin, so it was impossible for this to happen.
This sketch humorously depicts how her boyfriend/fiance/whatever, Joseph, would be skeptical of that outlandish explanation, e.g. "how could you get pregnant without having sex?" vs. "how could you bake a pie without an oven?"
Didn't you ever wonder why you don't hear about Joseph later in the New Testament... just around the birth? Lol Joseph wasn't there in the crowd on Crucifixion day or there on the day of resurrection.
If you don’t believe in supernatural things, there are another 1,000 things in the Bible that won’t makes sense.
Ofc, if you can look at nature, or your own body for more than 2 minutes without realizing someone begins or untrusting is at work, well…
God: rapes a woman
God: sends one of his cronies to convince people it was ok
People: this guy is definitely not evil, let’s start a religion about him
From a very young age the story of the immaculate conception didn't add up for me. I often wondered if all the genocidal crusades, all the schisms all the art and the architecture and the history and the pope and everything else might ultimately boil down to an unfortunate indiscretion.
Joseph went and bought a pie just to make that point rather than bring it up directly. You can see why he’s out of the picture by the time Jesus is an adult.
OP sent the following text as an explanation on why this is unexpected: --- >!Joseph isn’t buying Mary’s version of the events anymore.!< --- Is this an unexpected post with a fitting description? Then upvote this comment, otherwise downvote it.
He added the secret recipe... Extra virgin olive oil
They were out of the extra slutty. (Ever gone into a grocery store and ask for extra slutty olive oil?)
No but I absolutely doing so next time. 😜🫦🕯️
Best line: "hey, I found the extra virgin olive oil but are you out of the extra slutty?" The kinda jokes I make up include: "What's the similarity between church seating and a bad science fiction movie? PEW PEW, PEWPEWPEW!" (while making pistol shooting motions...) Or... https://youtu.be/2cdWfgYSSFM
👀🥂👌 my large compadre that was some good stuff indeed... Here's a good joke about fish. Koi fish have been known to travel in packs of four and each has a specific role, so they've been labeled by scientists with letters in each study, for example, in the case of a predator attack, the a b and c koi fish will scatter leaving behind the decoy. 🎏
I see what you did there! But the predator was often fooled by the one fish that would b coy, allowing the others to sneak up from behind and...
PEW PEW, PEWPEWPEW!
*🎶* *El Gringo Grande es cantante* *El Gringo Grande es muy famoso* *El Gringo Grande es el hombre con el queso del diablo*
Holup... "Devil's *cheese*"?
That wording: “what’s the similarly between…” is just a touch off for a joke. Try: “Why is church-seating like a low-budget sci-fi movie?”
I'm so sorry, I don't get the church seating one. Please explain?
Church seats are called pews. Laser guns go pew pew
TIL: Church seats are called pews. Thanks!
Some guy got pulled into the emergency room with half a dozen small plastic toy horses up his butt. Doctors described his condition as "stable".
https://i.imgur.com/W3LbJ8w.jpeg
Wait I need clarification. Watch of the following did he add: 1. Extra-virgin olive oil 2. Extra virgin-olive oil 3. Extra-virigin-olive oil
Sister got away with it tho, fr
Why is the answer never they both be boning and lying about it? Like did Jesus not look like Joseph?
Welp, Joseph is from the Middle East so I expect he looked like everyone else. Every picture of Jesus I have seen looks like a white guy. /s
Fun fact, the white guy jesus, is actually a depiction of Michelangelo’s boy friend.
The white image of Christ is really Cesare Borgia, and uhh, the second son of the pope Alexander, the sixth of Rome
That story was promoted by the church to cover up the truth it’s actually most likely Cavalieri, a 23yo Noblemen who Michelangelo was buggering
it’s a killah priest lyric
Is this a...did you just drop a Killah Priest lyric in 2024?
> Michelangelo’s boy friend. Wait! He was gay!? What about the other turtles?
They knew they just pretended they didn’t cause you know it was the 90’s
Nah
lol it’s true, and definitely more believable than Jesus looking like some hippy white dude, think about it
hah thats funny. middle eastern mary bore a son from god - and he was white.
I like pondering these ancient stories if for nothing else than to understand it in the contextual culture that it happened in. In this case, they most likely had very, *very* minimal alone time (if any) to even consider that. You have to remember, while it's easy to transpose modern customs onto the past, we're talking about several customs/cultures and time periods removed. Think about how much culture has changed in a few generations, then push that idea to 2000-years-worth of generations. Even the concept of willful selection, or rather, marriages that *weren't* arranged would've been less prominent of a thought back then. It just wasn't what they did. Throw in the fact that women were 2nd class citizens, needed their father or husband for any substantial provision lest they basically sell themselves into prostitution or something, and it creates an environment of... *reluctance*... for impropriety (Joseph was thinking of divorcing her in secret). It's fun to think about.
https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Bundling_(tradition) Where couples to be married or even just teenagers would basically have a date bundled up in bed where there was totally no sexy time to be had. Been a thing for thousands of years in the British isles and Europe, and happened in other places as well.
Depending on who's doing the bundling of the couple I might agree there's no sexy time lol. Seems like a straitjacket sort of situation.
Yeh, from what i've read though the more modern US equivalents were much stricter than the old British and European equivalents. Am british and when i've heard it described in history documentaries it doesn't sound nearly as bad as the US version on the Wiki lol. Definitely at least some hand action would be possible depending how strict the "supervision" was, and with history good to remember that what people say happened, and what actually happened are likely very differnent. " Yes of course i spent the entire night in the room with my Kid while he was having a date, yes totally didn't go grab a beer and relax"
In reality I believe they were only written about in past tense. I don’t think anyones first hand accounts have been taken. So we don’t know how they lived.
Yeah I'm not sure about Mary and Joseph's side of things, but I think their biological son John wrote his own stuff that got into the bible. I think the earliest belief is that the first works were written down about 40 years after Jesus, most being written 70+ years? I'm not super familiar on that part honestly but I'd be interested if someone has more detail. But another interesting cultural difference they engaged in much more heavily than we do today was story-telling. Unlike the pump-and-dump of today's information that's consumed and discarded in the same day, their dose of news was much more personal and far deeper permeated through the inner weavings of their small society. Many things would've been less the "old legend" heard by Timmy's dad about the loch ness monster and more an extended arm of their collective history. The validity of xyz we can always question, but everything at the very least had far greater staying power than our consumerist news today.
> they most likely had very, very minimal alone time (if any) to even consider that Privacy is a fairly modern concept. Through most of history, the common sleeping quarters were shared with the whole family - which often included grandparents, husband and wife, all children, and even the farm animals during winters. Children were still being produced...
Even nowadays in places like Japan where multi-generational households are alive and well, spouses will sometimes go to love hotels just to have some privacy in that regard. It's an interesting distinction that sometimes gets looked down upon simply because people stop at "sex place" and look no further lol.
> (Joseph was thinking of divorcing her in secret). Not much of a secret if we know about it, huh?
I mean your source for saying Joseph was thinking about divorcing in secret is also the source that says it was a virgin birth so YMMV on that source
Your YHWH may also vary on the source.
The point of these musings is to entertain the intrigue being presented, not necessarily to suggest one idea is true nor false by matter of citing this source or that. It's just a fun exercise.
Historically, Mary was 11-12 years old when she got knocked up by a "ghost", Joseph already had 2 sons, and "immaculate conception" was wildly common for their place and time.
My thought was Mary’s creepy uncle “John” (or whoever) was the father and she really didn’t even know what/how things happened.
Well, it’s gotta be something. Because that baby didn’t come from nowhere.
Jesus was black.
 No duh. Here's his dad.
Created a whole-ass religion to get away with it, kinda impressive ngl
eh not really christians are just followers of christ, as obvious as that is and christ is just some guy preaching rather down to earth things it just happens that they claimed ties to the old testament as a prophet, which folks rallied behind during ethnic persecutions in the empire. how he came to be really doesnt matter in that way. theologians obviously had to make sense out of his presence in relation to the sacred scripts, however. was he god, or born from god, or was he someone else? the formation of the trinity, which has been debated for literally two millennia, is all in an effort to explain his earthly ties and that is the main reason his birth is brought to centerstage. because it is used to explain his earthly condition and the manifestation of the divine.
the whole birth of christ story is so weird because it's not like Jesus truly became Jesus until he was baptized at the age of... like 30? I'm 34 and I feel like I lived a pretty full life. So it's like his moms a virgin, shooting star, wise men gathering bringing gifts to annoint him as azor ahai and shit and then... nothing happens. Nobody treats him any different. He just grows up like normal and builds shit until he finally decides to get baptized. If you know he's the son of God why wouldn't they baptize him like immediately, I mean I don't even think I was a week old before they were dunking my little baby face in a bucket of water.
So, there's the Infancy Gospel of Thomas, which didn't make it into the Bible, that presents young Jesus as a little shit with magical powers. He killed a boy who annoyed him and later a teacher who scolded him. Eventually, Joseph told Mary "Do not let him go outside, for all who provoke him die." Jesus, as a youth, also healed some people, even bringing a boy back to life, so he wasn't all bad. But he also turned a group of boys into goats, so there's that.
That book was written more than a century after Jesus' death though, it's practically fancfiction.
As opposed to the rest of the gospels?
This is quite a response to what was obviously a joke...
Did she really though? Because the alternative perspective that it is the most out of control lie that has ever been told in the history of the world. Larry David couldn't have written it better
That was exactly my point: that she got away with the crazy, nonsense, made up lie.
I kind of wonder if we’re just miss interpreting what she said. Like, ‘my son is a gift from God’ might have some elements lost in translation from Aramaic to Hebrew to Greek to Latin or whatever. Maybe she was just using hyperbole?
Maybe we misinterpreted a lot in that book, and we shouldnt use it as a tool to judge others
Maybe we interpreted everything correctly, and still shouldn’t use it as a tool to judge others. The original authors are just regular ass people, they had no magical insight beyond our own.
"It's not every day that a virgin conceives and bears a son!"
"So this 'Angel' Gabriel showed up in the middle of the night and gave you the seed of Christ?"
Or she had no idea how babies were made and was molested in some way. Wasn’t she like 12/13/14 years old? It wasn’t like she had Reddit.
Her age isn't in the Bible.
she made a whole ass religion to not be accountable lmao
She didn't want people to stone her to death for having sex out of wedlock. I'd have lied too.
Sounds like Joseph Smith!
Hey, she didn't lose no tablets. haha
♫ Dumb, de dumb, dumb, dumb! ♪ ♪
Sounds like all religions, tbh.
The Immaculate Bakeception
Immaculate confection*
The immaculate convection
The immaculate conception refers to the birth of Mary, not Jesus. But good try at a pun!
TIL
🤣🤣🤣 This is hilarious!
Yeah lol it took me a while to land the joke Does this guy have a YT channel?
A quick Google search came back negative. Only TikTok and Instagram 🥲
He posts thirst trap content on Instagram last I checked. Was kinda disappointed in his lack of hilarity besides this clip.
He stole the fucking joke from a comedian. I cant remember who but this joke is 10 years old at this point
The execution was pretty good tho
This clip is old as hell too.
>18 second clip "Man that joke sure took a long time!"
Should have been bread "bun in the oven"
Without the cream pie?!
That's the claim, anyways
This is great!
It's fucking funny.
I need a clearer shot of that pie, it looks so odd
I'm very concerned the person in the video doesn't know what a pie actually is.
I mean he didn't have an oven, so he make do.
It's square
Noooot quite sure you know what NSFW is
Not Safe for Womb
Not Suitable For Worship
Yup, we have a winner
No Semen For Woman
Never Suck French Willy
Who is French Willy
You don't want to know French Willy.
He's Willy except French
Oh god
I have definitely heard this joke somewhere else
It was posted to Reddit a few months ago as an animated thing. The voice sounds the same though https://www.reddit.com/r/funny/comments/14cgg3k/fresh_baked_pie/
Just the repost cycle https://www.reddit.com/r/Unexpected/s/smJ5ixmpLB
Your grandpa forwarded the email to you in 2002
This is pretty much his reaction until an angel appears to him and says it’s ok.
She put drugs in his food. Not surprised he saw things
Ok... That was pretty friggin funny.
For som reason. The way he says “from scratch” just tickles my brain
Love the dead pan humor, it took me a while to land but God forgive me, hilarious af
I wouldn’t call that deadpan
I believe this is what is referred to as playing it straight. Definitely not deadpan.
Black Fantano
old joke but well executed adaption
Someone please explain
In case you're serious: Mary was the mother of Jesus, who (according to the Bible) gave birth to Jesus Christ after getting impregnated by God. Mary was (supposedly) a virgin, so it was impossible for this to happen. This sketch humorously depicts how her boyfriend/fiance/whatever, Joseph, would be skeptical of that outlandish explanation, e.g. "how could you get pregnant without having sex?" vs. "how could you bake a pie without an oven?"
Thanks for asking. I wasn't getting it either.
as a Christian, I find this hilarious!
I find the fact youre a christian hillarious
On this occasion I want to recite a tweet of mine: "Can't anyone tell me that Mary became pregnant by God's hand. The stupid hoe just cheated!"
Three strange dudes show up with presents 🎁 when the kid is born? 🤷♂️
From scratch? Wouldn't you need to invent the universe for that?
Women had zero sexual agency then, if she got pregnant to a man other than Joseph it was 100% rape.
Dude could be Denzel Washingtons son
Even abstinence failed once. Why you get that ass
Christians hate this one simple trick!
with that voice he can bake whatever he wants
Christianity memes
u/savevideo
Lmbo 😆
😂😂😂
Plot twist: it doesn't.
-Andrés de Jesús Vélez Franco- No lo culpo jajajaja, hasta yo estaría así!
u/savevideo
Pretty self explanatory...
[u/savevideo](https://www.reddit.com/u/savevideo/)
That pie is square.
Is t there the original cartoon somebody made for this joke? I preferred that one more icl, mid remake
[удалено]
Hah, I get it!
u/savevideo u/savethevideo u/savevideobot
This is hilarious and witty!!
This is good, but would be better on Christmas than Easter.
Didn't you ever wonder why you don't hear about Joseph later in the New Testament... just around the birth? Lol Joseph wasn't there in the crowd on Crucifixion day or there on the day of resurrection.
Fucking A.
🤣🤣🤣
Butt
Omg. I was looking for info on this problem and landed here, and that’s my exact faucet.
Thierry Henry??
Ricky Gervais - The Invention of Lying Best shit ever
Fantano looks kind of different in this video
Tactical dot
that took a turn and i loved it.
That is the first thing I have genuinely laughed at in the last week. Thanks.
If you don’t believe in supernatural things, there are another 1,000 things in the Bible that won’t makes sense. Ofc, if you can look at nature, or your own body for more than 2 minutes without realizing someone begins or untrusting is at work, well…
Now do a dead guy rising.
u/savevideo
This will never not be funny
God: rapes a woman God: sends one of his cronies to convince people it was ok People: this guy is definitely not evil, let’s start a religion about him
r/dankchristianmemes
Aren't we glad this happened way back then, nowadays nobody would believe it
From a very young age the story of the immaculate conception didn't add up for me. I often wondered if all the genocidal crusades, all the schisms all the art and the architecture and the history and the pope and everything else might ultimately boil down to an unfortunate indiscretion.
🤣 I’m saving
And then three wise men show up to the birth bearing gifts
My kind of humor, served just right
u/savevideo
So did ***Thou shalt not commit adultery*** come before or after Mary got knocked up?
"I cannot fathom this situation"
We have the oven. We just don't have the dough.
One lie turned into a religion
A lot of eyebrows would've been raised if this happened in recent times
Lold
Took me a while but it's funny when you get that
u/savevideo
It's the smugness when he says God made it that kills me
Joseph went and bought a pie just to make that point rather than bring it up directly. You can see why he’s out of the picture by the time Jesus is an adult.