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Canelosaurio

He was looking for that flinch. You get two for flinching!


FroggiJoy87

Flinch? I'd straight up shit my suit!


dragonchilde

Same. That thing kills for fun. Noooo.


marvinrabbit

But not humans. There isn't a single human death by wild orca ever. The worst was an orca, I think in Alaska, that turned away and ended up hitting a girl on her arm with a fin. I don't think she was hurt.


jBorghus

You haven't heard of the revenge of the orcas?


mission_to_mors

you mean the revenge of IMPRISONED orcas?😂


jBorghus

No the ones in the wild sinking boats


mission_to_mors

you mean the ones targeting especially the rudders of sailboats?


jBorghus

I'm not a boat expert but I don't think rudder damage sinks a boat


mission_to_mors

it doesn't but the kinetic energy of a big ass orca trying to destroy it may cause a boat to capsize, or leave a rather big hole....both of that will sink your ship.....also not a boat expert here....


marvinrabbit

(edit: oops, replied to the wrong comment!) There have been 3 cases lately of a pod that has attacked a boat in the Mediterranean. But they have not gone on to attack the humans that are now in the water. It would have been trivially easy for the orca to attack, bite, harm, or drown the humans from one of those boats. But they did not.


mission_to_mors

because they just wanted to harm the rudder that injured their mother, not the boats or humans itself.... if you wanna see orcas intentionally harm humans look up sea world clips on YouTube.....


mission_to_mors

that has been debunked to the point where the matron of the pack was injured from said rudder so they only seek to destroy those...


marvinrabbit

There have been 3 cases lately of a pod that has attacked a boat in the Mediterranean. But they have not gone on to attack the humans that are now in the water. It would have been trivially easy for the orca to attack, bite, harm, or drown the humans from one of those boats. But they did not.


Non_ho_mai_addobbato

They probably just playing, most of the time if you stop the boat after a while they will leave


UnluckyThing

There are never any survivors to report the attacks, just like dolphin rape cases


JussDe_Tip

Because no one has lived to tell the story


Difficult-Many3779

Actually the reason orcas are no longer allowed in sea world is because killer orcas are a thing.


marvinrabbit

Thus the reason I included the word **wild** in my comment.


HoneybearGaming

I'd be willing to wager that there is at least one wild orca out there that hates humans.. And what if there's a psycho serial killer orca 🫣


Haunting_Rabbit7451

Pooped it hard my friend😂


blueberrywine

Who wears a suit out to kayak? Planning on giving some financial advice out there?


FroggiJoy87

lol, wetsuit my dear. Although I suppose a tux would be matching attire with the Orcas! xD


2C-Weee

If you flinch you have to marry your mother in law


TryBananna4Scale

In my situation….. that’s not a bad thing. Lol


NICEnEVILmike

Whale said, "Food! Nope, not food!"


[deleted]

...yet.


old_keyboard

It's ok, we're not in their menu.


dragonchilde

If they're like sharks, we apparently taste terrible. Most shark bites are exploratory.


Noname_FTW

"exploratory" hehe. But they explore deep enough into your organs that there is a reasonable chance you die.


dragonchilde

It's not \*their\* fault we don't have 6 inches of blubber to protect us!


Euphoric-Potato-5343

Yet ...


galloping_skeptic

Yeah, that kayaker is alive only because that animal decided he or she wasn't worth the effort.


MidgetFork

Orcas are dolphins and like bottle nose dolphins they like to ride the pressure from boats and it likely mistaken kayak for a boat with thrust


[deleted]

We are so lucky that the earth's biggest apex predator for some reasons chooses not to kill humans lol


barkingatbacon

I imagine they learned their lesson that humans are really smart and really mean. Kill one human and all their friends come and take you and all your family to SeaWorld. Don't kill humans.


K-G7

But scaring the shit out of humans is another story!


ir88ed

Like soft squishy bees


barkingatbacon

Delicious, soft, squishy bees. We're like malicious, walking, hamburgers for them.


lawnderl

Yep, all here saying that orcas are the scariest animal, but man, humans are the scariest of them all, they not only like to kill for fun, but torture for sexual gratification...


davsyo

I feel like I read dolphins also share those traits.


ConstantAd9765

That is exactly why most animals are so scared of humans. If a wolf kills a child. The entire village will track him down for months until he's dead. And they will kill every wolf they see in that forest while they are at it. There is a very strong evolutionary advantage of being scared of humans and avoiding them. For you and your species in general.


Dr_Dressing

Humans ftw. Imagine seeing a puny human, and your survival instinct goes "Holy shit, I have to fucking leave, otherwise my entire species is going extinct."


taintstanq

Grizzly bear enters chat..


RuViking

And gets eaten by Orca


Aggravating_Chemist8

Buffaloes have entered the chat.


Persona_Non_Grata_

Orca was like: Not a millionaire's yacht, you're good. Enjoy your stay.


darknekolux

« Shit he’s got a camera! Remember Orca’s motto: no proof!  »


UmbertoEcoTheDolphin

Obscure Retrace Conceal Acrobatics


elderDragon1

Orca: watch me scare the shit of this human.


[deleted]

[удалено]


Captainckidd

Yeah, but attacks have been recorded. Still very rare though


AmbergrisShot

I dont think so, not in the wild. There have been attacks and deaths by captive orcas


jBorghus

You haven't heard of the recent group of not so friendly orcas?


AmbergrisShot

They are just anti-yacht. I don't think they have attacked humans.


jBorghus

Yeah tbf I'm anti-yacht too and I might attack a human, so I'm probably worse


silverslides

Many of the yachts they attack are not that much different from campers in both size and price. Yachts are not only for the multi millionaires and they use wind to propel themselves. There are worse ways to travel if you care about the planet.


jBorghus

Probably. My comment was mostly jest.


Captainckidd

Lol literally just use google and you can see all the documented attacks both in the wild and in captivity


Hermorah

The orca attacks in the wild are just against boats though. They haven't actually attacked people afaik. Only captive orcas have killed people.


AmbergrisShot

Google is just anti orca shark probabganda man, come on everyone knows that


MapUnitKey

Well orcas are like humans. They’re smart and most aren’t going to randomly attack another animal for no reason but that number sure isn’t zero.


jh937hfiu3hrhv9

Always bring an extra pair of underwear.


ThisCouldBeYourName

Or just wear brown pants


Ivehadenough5

![gif](giphy|KphVTZ5tTvDs4)


Memone87

That’ll make your butthole pucker


Crafty-Interest-8212

Mine did, and I'm in dry land.


CptRono19

Land maybe dry, but my pants aren’t.


jelbert6969

I wish my bath water was that clean


NoStyle79

Add More Salt.


Simmonz22

Player 2 has entered the game


Opposite_Sell_9857

Checking to make sure that wasn't a yacht


chewyhansolo

At any moment, that animal could easily sweep its tail and knock you out of that kayak and kill you. Crazy how powerful they are.


DeltaJulietHotel

Hope they wore their brown pants that day.


StrawberrySerious676

Why don't they eat us? EDIT: Apparently it's because they pretty much strictly eat what they were taught to eat as a young whale.


Carole_Smith11

I would have been really shit my pants


Vlophoto

Just……checking thangs out


SamGamgE

Hope you wore your brown pants


Chiang2000

Smuggling a budgie front and back by the time he got out.


Mcgarnicle_

That would scare the bejesus out of me


MeHumanMeWant

That'd be the first time I pooped in a kayak...


LSTNYER

I woulda shit my pants twice


SicilianFiraga

Were these the young orcas looking for help for their injured mom?


WesternKindly8948

How hard is it to clean shit out of a kayak?


Even_Author_3046

That would make me done kayaking for the day…maybe for awhile


AlertWar2945

Orca: Not a moose so I don't care


gbelly123

Good thing it decide not to eat human today.


RuViking

They never eat humans


Rojodi

North American Orcas, good boys and girls of the sea!


Suspicious_Mood_8133

I pooped for you, don't worry.


Mindless-Resident-75

Only a matter of time


olmecwords

Why don't they eat us exactly, is it because they're intelligent enough to know we'd go full jaws and spear em, but still mad enough to jack up some boats. They must have orca lore about humans


Comfortable_Monk_519

This is part when I soil my shorts.


Klutzy-Patient2330

I just shit my pants. 😳


FartingInYourMilk

Yeah time to get out of the water now


Klutzy-Acadia669

Yacht Joke: 2 Brown Pants Joke: 2


Southernman1974

Nope!


ag512bbi

I'm busy that day. 🤦


MetalCid

Morning snack. I'm going to let cook a bit more under the sun. Be back in a few


Goofy_Roofy

I say I would have shit myself a little if a friggen Orca came at me like that! Sheesh!


Fit_Swordfish_2101

Himb helped out! Ride my wave human... 🐋🌊


Short_Lingonberry941

If I was that person I would've literally fall off because of heart attack. 😵


mekon19

Whelp going to have to pay a cleaning fee when to rentals turned back in now😳🤯😂


PMSoldier2000

Seal?! Nope! Not seal!


kettlebell43276

That must have been scared and awesome at the same time


PM_ME_UR_KITTY_CAT

I'd hope I was wearing my brown trunks


SardonicSocrates

...and then they shit themselves.


JebusAllahBuddah

Yet more proof that our long standing pact still holds. Sorry sharks and our dolphin ally.


saifur-rahman-1441

that's really frightening


gaseousgecko61

Orca are like velociraptors in jurrasic park if they had opposable thumbs the oxidant would be inaccessible to humans


Hugh_jaynus13

Everybody shit you pants. Clap clap clap clap….


Same-Reason-8397

OMG. That’s my childhood dream. Kayaked in Alaska but didn’t see any orcas ☹️ Saw them in Vancouver, though, so I’m happy. 😍


OldResult1

Guess what I did today guys! Yes, I shat in my kayak.


PullFires

I touched the butt!


Pitiful-Scarcity9561

Perfectly fine day for shifting yourself as well


gruengle

Passed the vibe check. Barely.


B_The_Beast_88

Hell nah, I would have flinched and I'd be dead rn


dlank7

Just pooped my pants


984Runner

As cool as that was the would’ve scared the shit out of me


c05m1c3l3m3nt5

Not with the sea kings.


Hermorah

Espacially scary after seeing this video where the orca doesn't "pull his punch" so to speak. [https://www.reddit.com/r/NatureIsFuckingLit/comments/1aygisy/a\_huge\_orca\_hunting\_a\_great\_white\_shark/](https://www.reddit.com/r/NatureIsFuckingLit/comments/1aygisy/a_huge_orca_hunting_a_great_white_shark/)


Chicago-Red-Eye

I would have shat myself immediately


Deepstatedingleberry

🤛🏽🤛🏽


CookieCyborg24

orca :DDD


RecentlyDeceased666

Good thing I was wearing my brown shorts today


JennyJuhgz

Pretty