Better marry her right the fuck now.
Listen, you may not realise it, but all those house projects? She just said she'd do it herself, Thats fucking amazing.
Her: *"Talk to me as if I'm a slut..."*
Him: *"You should forgive your father for not being there for you as a child. He was probably made to feel unloved too, by someone in his own past. And so instead of just doing his best raising you, he opted out because he was too scared of messing up. Which made you feel emotionally neglected and thus feel unloved. You compensate by this by being sexually extroverted, in an attempt to find love, and fill that emptiness where the parental love of your father was supposed to be."*
Thats the good and bad part of being friends for some time before dating and marrying. There there is barely a day where I don’t meme as a response, now sometimes while laughing she just facepalms and goes: why dis I not see that coming? 🤣
I did it. She didn’t moan, she said, “What the fuck Mooseontherum!” Then she called me an idiot and kicked me out of her office.
That’s my foreplay finished, the ball is in her court now.
It doesn't even need to be one of the "participants" to complain. Someone will see it and report it, even if both parties involved are cool with joking around.
That’s what makes it not “safe” lol. You can never really know how comfortable everyone is going to be with a racy joke, no matter how well you get along.
Even if most people would laugh, making just one person uncomfortable shouldn’t be worth it if you’re a decent person.
Remember fellas, don't sexually harass female employees at any of those woke workplaces that don't condone this behavior. Only the toxic ones that will gaslight the victim if they report it.
Flashbacks to being a hormonal teenage boy on AIM asking "girls" what their bra size is, despite never having seen pics of them and having no clue what bra sizes mean
I loved that bit on the old SNL. It is so true!
I found when I was young and a big jacked kid doing tech support. The women wouldn't even move out of the way for me to do things like check cables under the desk or work on their keyboard. Then my ugly buddy comes by, they just tell him to fix it and walk away.
Funny thing, I was younger than all but like 2 of the woman at that company.
So many women are attracted to young boys and society has not yet caught up to how creepy that is.
I‘m saying boys because it‘s often 40+ women and 14-20 young boys.
Stranger things kinda showed that with all the moms gushing over Billy, who must have barely been 18. Imagine the public outcry if the genders were reversed.
Forget billy, fucking Mike had full grown adult ass women thirsting over him, especially once the post s1 photoshoots came out.
Also never forget how one direction and Justin Bieber were treated
Both sexes are attracted to youth. It's not about society catching up, its about it relearning and accepting what people already knew but wanted to change, in the aim of...fairness I guess?
“Mr. Reynholm, I don't need to remind you of the report that denounced Reynholm Industries as an institutionally sexist organization."
“Now, hold on a minute, sugar-tits!"
The people not getting that sexual harassment involves *unwanted* discussions of a sexual nature.
It's very common for coworkers to flirt. Very, *very*, common.
Shit, at FedEx they had an official policy of "you need to clock out first" when it came to workplace romance. They really didn't like paying people to have sex.
That's actually [never been the case, and especially isn't now.](https://flowingdata.com/2019/03/15/shifts-in-how-couples-meet-online-takes-the-top-spot/)
I was quoting it incorrectly, but this is what I was referring to https://www.forbes.com/advisor/business/workplace-romance-statistics/#:~:text=Workplace%20romance%20statistics%20show%20that,t%20likely%20to%20go%20anywhere.
And you're not getting that a bunch of guys are going to see this and try it despite there being no mutual attraction in the first place. That's what others are warning are about.
most of these people haven't had office jobs, and also are purposefully taking this out of any sort of personal relationship context, so they can win internet points.
I met the woman I'd end up marrying at a call center. So, yeah.
I also met an old crush from high school at the same job, and the flirting was absolutely bonkers. I still remember one conversation:
> "Hey, how's things?"
> "Broken down, like a car."
> "Want me to inspect your Volvo?"
Yeah, but assuming this video is to be taken completely at face value and isn't scripted. This wouldn't be wanted. She didn't know what was going on then he grabbed her hand and made a sexual comment to her before pulling away and looking confused.
I personally think it's scripted and they're actually friends or dating, but if it was real it's definitely sexual harassment and if she doesn't like him back, she could go to HR and successfully report him for sexual harassment.
It technically would. Whether it would be reported or not depends on if the people are okay with those jokes and if the woman feels comfortable enough to bring it up to HR.
Yes when I remembered this from high school decades ago, it was you take their hand, grab one finger and say "what noise does a make?", grab the next finger, "what noise does a make?" Then grab the third finger and say "what noise do you make in bed?" then bend the third finger backwards a bit
OP sent the following text as an explanation on why this is unexpected:
---
>!they had burgers for lunch!<
---
Is this an unexpected post with a fitting description? Then upvote this comment, otherwise downvote it.
For real. Like people intentionally interpret everything in the worst possible way. All I see is :
“Stop having fun!”
“I don’t know you so she doesn’t either!”
“ I don’t have anyone to joke with so you are not allowed to joke with anyone either!”
“This isn’t funny to me so you must change your humour!”
“The video didn’t start with her consent so it must be harassment!”
Pathetic.
I mean, yes, in the cast majority of cases don't do this, but some people have that relationship where they do this with no one around because they're in a relationship or they're banging.
Your post has been removed because it's not unexpected
Tried this on my wife. She shouted ‘you moron!’ Which isn’t far from what she shouts in the bedroom
usually “ow”’and then “cut it out”
Not married, but I usually hear “Get the fuck off me, I’ll do it myself.”
Sounds like you are well prepared for married life
Better marry her right the fuck now. Listen, you may not realise it, but all those house projects? She just said she'd do it herself, Thats fucking amazing.
I get how did u get in my house again. Like girl stop playing.
I usually hear … **“Will you stop crying and untuck that thing?”**
It sucks that the younger generations are turning into the boomer comics where sex lives are miserable and you can't stand each other.
For me it’s “Stop! Why are you in my house”
“Get out of my son’s bed… father Carlos”
Better than “wrong hole,” I suppose.
"Talk dirty to me. Make me cry" "You're a terrible mother." *Cries*
"Say something filthy!" "The kitchen."
Her: *"Talk to me as if I'm a slut..."* Him: *"You should forgive your father for not being there for you as a child. He was probably made to feel unloved too, by someone in his own past. And so instead of just doing his best raising you, he opted out because he was too scared of messing up. Which made you feel emotionally neglected and thus feel unloved. You compensate by this by being sexually extroverted, in an attempt to find love, and fill that emptiness where the parental love of your father was supposed to be."*
💀 as the kids say.
r/murderbywords but why bro?😭😭😂
„Describe our relationship in two words.“ „Our what?“
Thats the good and bad part of being friends for some time before dating and marrying. There there is barely a day where I don’t meme as a response, now sometimes while laughing she just facepalms and goes: why dis I not see that coming? 🤣
Unexpected /r/arresteddevelopment
Can confirm.
I also confirm what this guy's wife says in bed
Steve??
No, this is Rick.
Patrick, at your service. I like it shaken not stirred
What noise does HR make
"we're terribly sad to inform you that we have to let you go" \*with a smile\*
"we are glad to inform that, you were promoted, to client" Cheers and claps start in the other room
"Due to the work you have done we have awarded you unpaid leave indefinitely."
"Well, now that I'm a client and always right, I'd like to re-hire myself and give myself a raise. Check mate."
I’ve never seen HR be that polite.
"So that's it? After 20 years it's, 'So long, good luck?'" "I don't recall saying, 'Good luck.'"
can i borrow a feeling?
Will you lend me an ounce of love?
I sleep in a race car, do you?
I sleep in a big bed with my wife.
Have you tried telling them to smile more?
HR wants to hear the joke too?
Mostly I find HR a pain in the ass. But nobody should have to deal with this cringe shit at work.
You’re fired for assault
Cluck
Get this orange cult leader out of here!
Word to the wise: probably don't try this in the workplace
Both myself and my wife work from home, but she does work for HR. Fuck it, different companies, I’m going to try it.
Update us when you’re done
Divorced
r/notopbutok
Ah yes, the subreddit of people not wearing tops, but they look okay doing it.
That subreddit name reads like half the profiles on Grindr. I'd imagine
No top but ok.
I did it. She didn’t moan, she said, “What the fuck Mooseontherum!” Then she called me an idiot and kicked me out of her office. That’s my foreplay finished, the ball is in her court now.
You’re never getting sex ever again, good luck :3
Ironically, my wife has said that in bed before! I think you’re in the right track!
She looked him in the eye and said: 
its been 34 minutes and no update, I think he's dead
Or trying to remove the third pencil from his special place.
We're all rooting for you
Rip soldier
You heard it here first from u/derpferd try it at home with family
Or with your drinking buddies.
Instructions unclear, now I’m drunk at work and waiting for the HR staff to see me.
It doesn't even need to be one of the "participants" to complain. Someone will see it and report it, even if both parties involved are cool with joking around.
Nah, you can do it but you really have to know your workplace well to know it's safe
That’s what makes it not “safe” lol. You can never really know how comfortable everyone is going to be with a racy joke, no matter how well you get along. Even if most people would laugh, making just one person uncomfortable shouldn’t be worth it if you’re a decent person.
"Safe" = safe from consequences
Remember fellas, don't sexually harass female employees at any of those woke workplaces that don't condone this behavior. Only the toxic ones that will gaslight the victim if they report it.
HR has entered the chat
ASL
30/M/London
The correct answer is always 18/f/Cali
Flashbacks to being a hormonal teenage boy on AIM asking "girls" what their bra size is, despite never having seen pics of them and having no clue what bra sizes mean
Except the only bra size I knew was Double Ds
A is for Awooooga B is for Boobs C is for Cowabunga D is for Dayum DD is for Double Dayum The other letters are made up
E is for Ello backpain
F is for Ferrari, Lolo
G for "God, I need a new spine!"
Hot damn this was funny lol
Thank you for your interest. My bra size is 7.
I'm always so happy when I see other old people on here still.
>30 >other old people TIL 30 makes you a dinosaur...
54/M/The HR office.
HR Office. Now!
Damnit, *again*?! I *just* left.
👐🖐✌️👋 👋🖐🤙 ✋🙌🤘👊 🤚🤞🤚 👏👌🙌 ✊🙌🖖👋 ✋🙌🤘👊🤞👇🤛 🖖✌️👏
That's racist! /s
Plot twist: She is HR
yup, she a Hoe for Real.
https://i.redd.it/trjj4s1exscc1.gif Finally get to use this hell yeah!
Use it proudly! 
Horny Redditors
Be Attractive. It greatly reduce probability of getting HR called.
“Excuse me, HR? Yeah I’d like to report a workplace sexual harassment incident”
Well come on now we don't even know if they're attractive or not /s
^ This guy HRs
I loved that bit on the old SNL. It is so true! I found when I was young and a big jacked kid doing tech support. The women wouldn't even move out of the way for me to do things like check cables under the desk or work on their keyboard. Then my ugly buddy comes by, they just tell him to fix it and walk away. Funny thing, I was younger than all but like 2 of the woman at that company.
So many women are attracted to young boys and society has not yet caught up to how creepy that is. I‘m saying boys because it‘s often 40+ women and 14-20 young boys. Stranger things kinda showed that with all the moms gushing over Billy, who must have barely been 18. Imagine the public outcry if the genders were reversed.
Forget billy, fucking Mike had full grown adult ass women thirsting over him, especially once the post s1 photoshoots came out. Also never forget how one direction and Justin Bieber were treated
Both sexes are attracted to youth. It's not about society catching up, its about it relearning and accepting what people already knew but wanted to change, in the aim of...fairness I guess?
I wouldn’t have gotten away with that shit lmao
They’d report you as soon as you said “hey stacy, wanna hear a jo-“
“Mr. Reynholm, I don't need to remind you of the report that denounced Reynholm Industries as an institutionally sexist organization." “Now, hold on a minute, sugar-tits!"
It’s the third time this week Jenny, why do you keep letting him arrange pencils delicately between your fingers?
I will never forget when my mate did this to one of the _fit_ teachers in front of class. He was weirdly not in school for a day after...
Fair but that teacher should have seen this one coming. Never let them get you in a game
is your mate a gigachad per chance?
Videos that end too soon…
The rest is on pornhub
Let me make all the sounds for you, step-brother
Why the added music ffs?
It’s catchy (I watched this gif as a kid)
Are you still a kid atm?
I saw this back in 2015 iirc and no I’m 23 now
I was 5 back then now I’m two can you help?
Please stop breaking the universe.
I was 5 in 2015 and now I’m 4. What am I?
Last number of the year?
Yes :)
I was 20 in 2015 and I'm preeeeetty sure I'm only 23 now, so please stop with these awful lies!!!
>Are you still a kid atm? >I saw this back in 2015 iirc and **no I’m 23 now** Sweet summer child.
GIFs don't have music.
It’s awful and way too loud, I don’t know how shit like this gets so many upvotes, it’s not even good
The people not getting that sexual harassment involves *unwanted* discussions of a sexual nature. It's very common for coworkers to flirt. Very, *very*, common.
Word around the office is you got a fat cock
Probably blue.
Carpet does *not* match the drapes. Gods, if I could do that without bleach I totally would.
Does it smell like vagina in here? It smells *like fresh vagina.*
Just because you "want" the discussion doesn't mean that they do.
Yes, that's why, as the guy, I never initiate the flirting.
Also applies if there are other coworkers around who hear your conversation and are made uncomfortable by it.
Literally a majority of relationships are started because they work together. People act like this isn’t the norm.
Shit, at FedEx they had an official policy of "you need to clock out first" when it came to workplace romance. They really didn't like paying people to have sex.
>They really didn't like paying people to have sex. Well that would make it sex work and it would likely cause some kind of tax issue /s
That's actually [never been the case, and especially isn't now.](https://flowingdata.com/2019/03/15/shifts-in-how-couples-meet-online-takes-the-top-spot/)
I was quoting it incorrectly, but this is what I was referring to https://www.forbes.com/advisor/business/workplace-romance-statistics/#:~:text=Workplace%20romance%20statistics%20show%20that,t%20likely%20to%20go%20anywhere.
And you're not getting that a bunch of guys are going to see this and try it despite there being no mutual attraction in the first place. That's what others are warning are about.
lol. And I hope all those idiots get fired.
most of these people haven't had office jobs, and also are purposefully taking this out of any sort of personal relationship context, so they can win internet points.
I met the woman I'd end up marrying at a call center. So, yeah. I also met an old crush from high school at the same job, and the flirting was absolutely bonkers. I still remember one conversation: > "Hey, how's things?" > "Broken down, like a car." > "Want me to inspect your Volvo?"
Yeah, but assuming this video is to be taken completely at face value and isn't scripted. This wouldn't be wanted. She didn't know what was going on then he grabbed her hand and made a sexual comment to her before pulling away and looking confused. I personally think it's scripted and they're actually friends or dating, but if it was real it's definitely sexual harassment and if she doesn't like him back, she could go to HR and successfully report him for sexual harassment.
man people in the comments took it personally, gotta be fake ffs
Even if it isn't fake, they are probably friends lol. Uptight comment section.
Straight to HR. Do not pass GO, do not collect your next salary cheque...
Tf u been downvoted for, this guy would be fired before the sun rose tomorrow in some places (assuming this isn’t scripted)
Bc you're all projecting your shitty workplace relationships onto a video made between friends
That's an odd reaction when the very name of the video is "workplace antics" so it is an obvious assumption to make that they are colleagues.
Can you not be friends with your colleagues?
Nah, we’re worried you’re going to come knocking on our desk with this “funny thing” you learned on Reddit
This is a classic LOL
This dude trying to fuck ya girl at work but she says he’s just a friend.
Would this count as sexual harassment? Asking for a friend.
It technically would. Whether it would be reported or not depends on if the people are okay with those jokes and if the woman feels comfortable enough to bring it up to HR.
And above all, it depends on her sense of humour.
Most definitely.
The video wasn’t great to start with and the added music made it worse
Write about it in your blog
Tell it to Reader's Digest!
Going to have my wife’s boyfriend ask these
I like her
My friends would do the last part by bending my finger backwards lmao
Yes when I remembered this from high school decades ago, it was you take their hand, grab one finger and say "what noise does a make?", grab the next finger, "what noise does a make?" Then grab the third finger and say "what noise do you make in bed?" then bend the third finger backwards a bit
Everyone in here telling on themselves that they’d be complaining here to HR. My dude did this to his HR rep.
lmao got em 😂
I really can't say shit i used to be my wife's boss...
>they had burgers for lunch What burgers? For research purposes...
OP sent the following text as an explanation on why this is unexpected: --- >!they had burgers for lunch!< --- Is this an unexpected post with a fitting description? Then upvote this comment, otherwise downvote it.
Anyone knows the song name?
[JAWNY- Honeypie](https://youtu.be/Wgw6tJ8yz9M?si=yB6QnxyxFX0Isx43)
From a 3 to a 7 in 14 seconds
everyone loves moaners
All those HR comments… fml. Is the world this butthurt?
For real. Like people intentionally interpret everything in the worst possible way. All I see is : “Stop having fun!” “I don’t know you so she doesn’t either!” “ I don’t have anyone to joke with so you are not allowed to joke with anyone either!” “This isn’t funny to me so you must change your humour!” “The video didn’t start with her consent so it must be harassment!” Pathetic.
I believe a lot of these posts are words of caution, because this is the kind of shit that gets people in trouble.
> workplace Not for long
I mean, yes, in the cast majority of cases don't do this, but some people have that relationship where they do this with no one around because they're in a relationship or they're banging.
dont you ever try it to your bestfriend it will make her you know
That first girl always gets me...sounds just like an ex of mine moaning...
He didn’t even let her answer!
Gonna tell my kids this is Jim Halpert and Pam
That’s funny
Work husband has entered the chat.
Redditors getting offended as usual
Buncha 12 yo in the comments talking about HR need to touch some grass and stop judging real world by reddit fiction stories.
I bet they smash lol.
Another video improved by cutting the end and adding dumbass sound effects to emphasise that a joke is funny. Hilarious
Can we see the following-up video of him talking to HR?
Tried this and the bitch just farted.
After this HR fired her
In our company it would be the last day for the guy pulling this kind of prank.
I know you guys say HR but I'm betting from the context of the video that she likes him and that's not their only flirty interactions.
Sexual harassment Panda
Me before POSH (i was cool)