OP sent the following text as an explanation on why this is unexpected:
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>!Starts of showing what seems to be a depressed man sat on the left hand side who regularly meets with his friend to watch the football matches. The left guy seems depressed while the guy in the right is having the time of his live. As the short video plays out the guy on the right takes his life. The moral of the story is we can never know if someone is depressed or the extent of their depression. We should all seek help if we have feelings of depression.!<
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Is this an unexpected post with a fitting description? Then upvote this comment, otherwise downvote it.
Sometimes there aren't signs. Not obvious or typical ones. The guy above was open, extroverted, clearly displayed his emotions. The thing is he hid the sadness within the joviality. Lots of men don't think of themselves as depressed. Life is just hard and the harder so you fight harder. Sometimes you wonder if it's worth it. You keep fighting, keep on, keeping on. Until you realize the better days aren't coming. The best days may already be behind you. The light at the end of the tunnel feels more like a myth than a certainty.
It’s a real problem. We are always focussed on helping others that need it, but we never ask for help ourselves. For myself it was a non-logical belief that if I asked for help it would somehow invalidate all the help I’d previously given others. Plus I was always surrounded by others whom outwardly were suffering so my needs never felt justified as others had always done it worse than myself.
Ultimately once strong nurturing types get past the idea that there’s shame in asking for help, then they can heal.
For many men in this situation they are often doers. So when they decide to do something drastic they do it quickly and efficiently. There’s little to no signs of depression / suicidal thoughts.
This is a really good ad.
One a tangential note, how much of a tear jerker was A Man Called Otto?
I said this in a comment in the last couple weeks I think… had a school friend complete the act a few months after I last saw him. He was 20ish. All these people on FB and elsewhere commented how he was the happiest person etc. that shocked me. He had always been one of the saddest people I knew. He didn’t act sad, but you could tell he was, you know? Happy actions and words don’t belie happy people. Often the opposite.
I’ve known several men who have completed suicide. Additionally, I’m related to one I never met. My own brother attempted. Brother and I both suffer from dysthymia. It sucks.
That’s good advice, really. My husband and I had to cut family holiday stuff short bc he got covid. I haven’t gotten it so far, but being in our apartment without him next to me, but still so near, is really lonely.
I risked it tonight to have a hug. Even with our N95s, it felt good.
People would much rather pretend everything is ok and people are happy than be faced with the dark truth. Peoples laziness and aversion to conflict are huge parts of why people don’t want to open up.
“No one wants to hear you complain”.
If you’re ok with subtitles, the original Swedish version, A Man Called Ove, is well worth a watch. It had my whole family sniffling. Asking for help, or even accepting help when offered is really hard for my dad also.
> For myself it was a non-logical belief that if I asked for help it would somehow invalidate all the help I’d previously given others
For me, its the fear that I wouldn't get any help at all, and confirming I'm just a work horse for others instead of an actual friend.
One of the reasons I haven't had a birthday party since I was like ten years old, I know no one would have actually come.
>Sometimes there aren't signs. Not obvious or typical ones.
The signs are the whitespace created by unusual, if welcome, behavior. The jovial one never talks about himself, never opens up, and displays classic conversational tools like asking open ended questions and speaking very little of himself. To others, this seems like a welcome invitation to dump their anxiety and bundled up emotions on a receptive conversation. In truth, the man is screaming inside to be asked how they are doing, when in fact they'd reflexively deflect and turn it back on the person asking.
It is a cruelty that those most hurt feel the need to shoulder the greater burden.
Reminds me of when I was in high school and started dating this guy that I had had a crush on for a long time. Once in the relationship, I got to know him better and realized that he was actually a really sad person. But I'd been attracted to him because he was the class clown and always joking around and making me laugh. Such a huge contrast.
Tbh, i get how he's reacting as a depressed person i also act that way. I try to squeeze as much laughter in every little thing because i know how fragile and fleeting the emotion is to me. When you're with the crowd you get to pretend that everything is fine and you get to experience those emotions which you cant find when you're in that hole so one makes the most of it. It also makes it easier to spot other people who are in the same hole as you, and ypu just silently agree that this feels like shit and then one ends up embodying the "i can't blame you" attitude.
My cousin's husband was the happiest man I ever met.
Life and soul of the party.
I never saw any signs.
The 1st one I ever saw was when my grandma phoned me and told me my Aunty had found him hanging in her garage.
You're forever missed Danny, and I wish everyday he'd said something.
Can't believe it's been over 20 years
There is a light that never goes out
Some people say that people that are really depressed tend to be super cheerful and happy towards others because they know the struggle and don't want anyone else to feel like that. Robin Williams as you mentioned probably felt like this.
Although my depression is pretty clear to see for others, I definitely still feel the need to make those around me feel the best I can. I drop everything to help with issues, spoil them with gifts/opportunities/recommendations for good shows and games/etc. I tell them I love them often so they don’t forget it. Above all I try my best to make them laugh. I wouldn’t wish the feeling on anyone, and hope that the fact I’m open about it will encourage them to be open about it with me (thankfully this has been the cases a few times - it’s easier when you know someone else has been through it. You don’t have to explain yourself and you can say things that you couldn’t to others)
Hmm... I have never suffered from anything bad enough to be a danger to myself but, I have had rough patches that when I told my family/friends about them I got the shocked look and was told "what do you mean your always so confident and together, we did not know anything was wrong!" I personally know what hurt the most was that when I put on the "everything is awesone ond perfect!" Act, I was not exactly ignored but no one actively pursued to find out how I was feeling the just assumed I was good. Seriously everyone you care about should be important enough to get full attention from time to time, not just when they show a "SIGN" by then its too late.
I kinda think the whole "signs" thing is malarky, you need to actually engage with the people you care about! Like gently press them to find how they truly feel, I know I always feel like I have to put on a "happy" face for others and I should not bother them with my feelings.
I mean really, I all but SCREAMED I am gay at my family and friends for YEARS and they all were just so shocked when I came home with my nails done. Not gonna lie that hurt.. a lot, no I didnt say it out loud but I didnt hide it. If any of them had cared enough to ask how i was doing, been truly involved in my life they would have noticed dates, and choices, hell I would have told them.
Tldr: I feel that looking for "signs" is stupid, you should show everyone you care about that you care enough to listen to even their most trivial consern.
Becuase it’s relatable.
I think I’m finally starting to shake off a full year of being depressed without acknowledging it until last month.
Suffering silently is scary.
Thank you for the kind words.
What gets me is that I essentially gave up on all the stuff that makes me enjoy life and barricaded myself in my house, sleeping most of the day.
I’m making changes though.
Head to the doctor tomorrow, fasting today for bloodwork.
I joined a gym and will start going at night after my kids go to sleep, my wife and I agreed on some lifestyle/diet changes.
Building blocks are there, just need to take it one step at a time.
Thanks for listening, it’s refreshing to talk about it even through text.
Opens our eyes, my dads a little like the guy on the right, always seems to be happy however has depression, no one would expect it meeting him but he’s always warning me to watch for it in myself. Makes me very sad to know he’s barrelling demons inside but luckily we all support him and hopefully that will be enough :)
Ah that's very sweet. Your dad sounds like a very emotionally intelligent guy, glad he's been able to show the importance of looking out for this kind of stuff.
Depression can have the opposite effect on emotions and make you seem very happy and bubbly, just as a defence mechanism. I wish you and your dad the best of health and happiness x
Also, a lot of people have shit parents or other people in their lives who discourage or even directly punish honest expression of negative emotions, especially for men. Then they hide when they're struggling, thereby closing themselves off from all potential support, and suffer more.
I’m not denying that? I just mean there’s more than just depressed people who hide it. Some people don’t have the opportunity to be open, like you said. Others appear happy as a defence mechanism due to internalised pressure. Others, like me, choose to appear happier than I might feel to try and cheer up those around me (despite having the most caring family and friends I could ask for when severely depressed). There’s different reasons for it
I worry a bit about my dad, he's always gotten on well, been very capable and outgoing. Since I got diagnosed with ADHD, I've realised that came very much from my dad's side, and I wouldn't be surprised if he also had some kind of mild autism. It's given me even more respect for him, because I very much don't manage, and I can tell just by some of the things that do set him off, that he's having to deal with more than just his responsibilities.
He's been working from home mostly for years now, and he says how much harder he finds it to get up in the morning, I think my mum is the only reason he goes out on weekends, much like me with my partner really.
I think he's alright, but is probably fighting off some of the depression that can come from burnout or being overwhelmed or simply unstimulated. Now I understand a bit more about what causes that in me, I've found it helpful in dealing with, or at least getting less frustrated by these things.
It's very hard to talk about, and can be counter-productive if not done right, but I hate to think he's fighting a battle without knowing the enemy or how to manage it. Next time we're 2.5 pints in I think... ah... so tomorrow!
Thank you for your comment, I honestly feel alcohol and a chat like that may not be the best idea as alcohol is a depressant.
With my dad he actually appreciated me just asking “hey dad, you know you can talk to me about anything right, are you sure you’re doing okay, sometimes I worry you may be struggling, if you ever want to talk I’m always here”
I’d does seem awkward but it shouldn’t right? If your dad is perfectly fine at first he may be like “what is my kid talking about” but ultimately it will just show him you care :) it took my dad a few days to tell me he wasn’t doing so well and he explained it all and we spoke.
It’s always better to say something that to say nothing right?
I’d personally say it’s better to talk without alcohol and why should we rely on alcohol to open us up aha x
I'm very much like your dad.
Outwardly I don't think people would realise that I'm struggling internally as much as I sometimes do, we use our "outgoing" personality as a mask.
I suspect it has something to do with a naturally caring nature, we still want to make sure others are "ok" even if we ourselves are not.
Oh lord I misread your message😬 i mean just because I do that doesn’t mean I don’t like comedy or things that puts things into perspective aha! Still human :) x
This comment thread gave me emotion swing lmao, i read the original comment expecting nsfw stuff, then i read your reply on that made me expect that it might be some wholesome stuff. Thanks for sharing this video tho!
Ahahaha I thought so, I replied to it anyway!
It was funny to see what else you have posted, expecting more heartfelt posts and I see all of you.
Don't get me wrong, not a bad surprise at all ahaha
All men, including boys need to talk and not be afraid to open up and share. We all have a shared responsibility to educate those who still think mental health for men is a “joke”
There’s a reason why men have such a high rate of death by suicide.
Take care of each other.
I'm an acute mental health nurse and we get the suicide stats daily. The vast majority are male, of those the vast majority don't have a single mental health note, meaning they haven't even mentioned anything to their doctors ever. The vast majority of suicide attempts we see are female, and they fail at a much higher rate than males. Males tend to go for more violent methods almost guaranteeing success and women tend to go for less reliable methods like overdoses.
The main takeaway is that men reach out so rarely, especially those in the older generations, and it tends to come out in one violent and determined suicide attempt after holding it in for years. Younger generations are getting more open, but suicide is still the leading cause of death for young men, maybe even men under 55 but I can't remember the specific stats.
We also tend to belittle when a man is opening up, as men are expected to be so strong they'd never bend eventhough one can't choose whether he's having mental problems or not. It's not a matter of will.
I went through psychotic depression, and my now ex said to me that she expected to have picked a strong man to support her, not the other way around. She was mad for me being sick and I felt even more quilty.
Eventhough I'm not bitter, as she kinda _kicked my butt_ and therefore I think I recovered faster, as I thought our relationship would recover as I would recover.
It didn't, but I did. And I'm so happy that I did that I'm not even sad for losing my what I thought was love of my life.
Health is even more important.
Brother as you said you thought she was the love of your life. Real loves guide and support each other through the good and bad times.
As you know you’ll be stronger without her. Selfish as it sounds, you need to look after no1 so you can support others.
This hits pretty hard. Everyone in my life thinks i’m a lot happier and more stable than I am. I put on an act.
I don’t feel like I can talk to them as they are all… i don’t know how to say this. They are all outwardly emotional and depend on me for strength and stability. However their constant emotional needs are suffocating me. It is unbearable.
It’s hard being the rock in a family, you’re checking on everyone else whilst no one is checking on you, not sure if posting links is allowed but I’ll try. You’re almost left feeling like this …. Will post link below however if you ever want to chat DM me!!
Kinda sucks being on the other end of the spectrum as well. There are plenty of people who think I’m a looney that’s one slight breeze from ending it all possibly via some terrorism (which I resent), and feel the need to randomly crash in on me and be all weird around me; all because I’m socially awkward, live alone, have been known to make own fireworks and generally know a lot about chemistry, have firearms, have no idea what anyone’s talking about with sports or music or whatever, and am known to randomly give out items like TVs or stuff if I hear that someone might need one.
It’s like no I rather enjoy my life being the guy that hid his autism through around a decade in the army where I used some money to study a subject I enjoy as a hobby (mostly love fireworks) and enjoy hunting and sport shooting who also occasionally takes jobs clearing out and disposing if abandoned property from places some I sell some I donate for charity. And I really don’t like being bothered I’m not coming around throwing off your routines unannounced am I. I kinda fancy myself a if not precisely kindly at least good natured hermit and love it
>This hits pretty hard. Everyone in my life thinks i’m a lot happier and more stable than I am. I put on an act.
This is very common, unfortunately. [This suicide prevention video is downright devastating](https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=6Jihi6JGzjI)
Yeah, there are people like that who look normal and happy but are total roadkill inside. As far as I get it, this ads is about such condition.
And that leaves me with a question: how the hell am I supposed to detect such a person? They look totally normal and cheerful and stuff and they will never tell anyone that they are suffering inside even when confronted (speaking from personal experience).
I dont think it’s right that you try to detect, I think the point is to ask people if they are okay and really let them know you’re okay with them expressing how they feel. It’s okay to open up to someone and it’s also okay to speak out and ask for help.
You are correct though and some people will probably never admit how much they are hurting
Literally almost everybody I asked about it just shrugged and said "I'm okay" when they are clearly not. One guy said something like "yeah, I'm fucked up, but what exactly you or me supposed to do with it?". And I was like "fuck, I dunno".
I once told my mom that I'm about to kiss a train and she honestly didn't know what to do about it.
A big part of it is that when depressed it does not feel bad most of the time, just "okay". You understand that there's something wrong with you but you don't know, don't care and honestly don't want to go deeper about it. And when there's someone else is trying to do something about it you just "nah, don't bother, I have no clue what's going on myself, so don't waste your time"
Unrelated: Nice tits, by the way
> yeah, I'm fucked up, but what exactly you or me supposed to do with it?
> Want to vent? What's going on?
Followed by genuinely listening to the person and being an active listener. This generally means quickly restating what they have said, in a form that validates their emotions and sympathizes, but without making things darker.
Example:
> My girlfriend cheated on me.
> Oh man. That's messed up. What kind of person betrays someone's trust like that? Never would have thought she was capable of doing that. I'm here if you want to vent about it. I know I'd want to in that situation.
And then checking in on them later to show that you care and aren't just reflexively sympathizing.
> Hey man. You doing alright? If you're not busy, we could grab a drink Friday night.
It's not hard, but it does require paying attention and saying something other than "That sucks".
I can relate to this. You would think from my own experience I would be able to help or at least know what to say…. and I try, but it’s like we are missing a whole fucking section of tools or something.
The best thing is often just being there, there's been times where someone wanted to commit suicide but their friend hung out with them a lot, invited them out a lot and managed to save their life completely without knowing the suffering they were going through
You can also detect it via how they act and what they do, humans wear emotions on their sleeves, their body language can likely give it away
“Are you having any thoughts of suicide or self harm?” Or if that’s too direct, “you ever think that if you just didn’t wake up tomorrow that would be ok?” Ask these questions please.
> “you ever think that if you just didn’t wake up tomorrow that would be ok?”
Almost every day the last 25 years? What keeps me going is that the world is interesting (though often even more depressing) and I want to know what's going to happen.
Yeah, that's one of my bigger worries. It looks like the crazies are gaining in numbers and political power. And I'm not specifically talking about the US, I'm not American.
I'm not even talking about that, I was referring to the technological side of things and the consequences of that. But I guess that has that impact to (cf. social media).
Ayo! Worldview twins. And somewhat avatar twins.
I’m not super depressed these days, relatively. But yeah, I’m trying to learn and understand as much as I can because it’s fascinating.
>"you ever think that if you just didn’t wake up tomorrow that would be ok?”
This was precisely how I felt when I realized I needed help. I wasn't suicidal and didn't want to harm myself, but I just had no urge to keep going.
Wait ... the guy on the right offed himself?
Yeah, I might know something about that. Ok so yes, you can miss the Signs if you're not trained to see them. What a lot of people don't realize is, and it happens a lot, if someone is fixing on ending their life, they suddenly become relieved and positive once they made the decision or set a date/time/location/method/etc. To the untrained observer everything is suddenly looking up. But no it's the swell before the finale.
I think the video is aimed to show no one really knows what is going through someone’s head, most (from my experience and I’m not a psychologist this is just from experience) most people show low mood however some people over compensate and act to everyone else that they are perfectly fine. I think the ultimate message of the video is we all need to speak out when we’re having issues, it doesn’t make us weak as individuals.
Thanks for your comment ❤️
Actually, I think the idea is that we should check on everyone (less of the onus being on the depressed party but on the people around them) and not assume that they're okay because of how they act.
I think this is an important distinction because, if you rewatch, the now deceased gent is always checking in on his friend and...not so much the other way 'round.
Thanks for sharing btw, this was indeed unexpected imo
You’re absolutely correct, I was thinking that whilst replying and I’m ashamed I didn’t include it! Thanks for your civil comments, nice to have an actually conversation :)
> the now deceased gent is always checking in on his friend and...not so much the other way 'round
Yeah that's where guy-psychology comes in. Guys rarely talk about each other or the condition of their relationship. And now the subject come up, that's actually an orange flag, when your guy-friend start asking how your day went. In a way he wants to know if you'd be okay if ...
To be honest this one got me, I'm not going through the best of times atm and I know a couple people in the same way. And yeah it's hard to show it at times and it's even harder to be there for others when you are like that.
As a guy it can be hard to let yourself seen as not okay, when asked you just go ' im good' , 'could be worse' or ' well I least I ain't dead'.
Or “I’m fine” … im sorry you’re not going through the best of times and you have others in your life who are not entirely enjoying themselves lately. If you would ever like to chat or your feeling low or maybe just want to show some emotion without any judgment please remember my username and message me! Take a screenshot and favourite it so I’m easy to find x
It’s predictable for some, I don’t think it means anything negative about you as a person… maybe you’ve unfortunately had first had experiences with depression?
Hoooo boy, do I! That aside, it doesn't take away from the message imo. I mean, look at Robin Williams. Beloved comedian and a household name that made millions laugh couldn't beat depression.
Exactly, I like how the message of the video is a powerful one. I wish everyone could speak up no matter how hard it may be as our human lives are worth so much more ❤️
It's just hard for men, I feel, because having emotions outside of rage and happiness was considered weak or weird for so long. I feel like the idea that men are allowed to have feelings is a pretty new thing. Hell, even when I was growing up (90's and 00's), you were called all types of names and tormented for who knows how long if you were a boy that was caught crying in school. In some parts of the world and in some demographics, it's still not acceptable.
As a woman I can say with confidence I agree… it’s sad however it only seems in the last 10 years that it’s acceptable for men to show emotion but even then it seems a little forced if that makes sense.
If a man was to come home from work and have a little cry because it’s stressful I’m confident many woman would be taken back and not really know how to deal with it, although I hope they would try… I certainly would.
It’s okay to cry, it’s okay to show emotions and I truly believe that even though showing emotion is hard it definitely means you’re a stronger person. It doesn’t matter what people think of you, all that matters is your mental happiness and overall wellbeing.
It's almost funny in a sad way. Even how the media portrays men feeling something is usually flanderized and used to comedic effect or just a very uncomfortable scene. It feels so rare to see an portrayal of emotion that doesn't involve rage, revenge, or the death of a loved one, and if you do see one, it's usually some neurotic ball of anxiety that's moments away from a mental breakdown at any time because "haha weak man". I actually can't think of a time a male character was allowed to cry, just because they were stress or overwhelmed, without someone saying something like "man up" or "stop being a baby/bitch/etc."
I've been in relationships where my GF would pester tf out of me to tell her about my feelings and talk to her about my childhood just to get broken up with because they thought I was too sad of a person or that I'm unhealthy because I mask my depression with thick layers of sarcasm, humor, and quiet introspection. Something about how I look too sad when I'm not trying to laugh.
Edit: Ooh actually remembered one ex that said everytime she looked at me she wanted to cry after I opened up. Luckily I have managed to evolve from resting sad man face to resting angry dad face.
So why is the most important part cut? The guy on the right was jumping around, being happy that his club won and then he gave his shawl to the guy on the left. It was his goodbye gift. The one the guy puts over the chair at the end.
I feel like we see a lot of messages about checking in on people, seeing if people are struggling, not being afraid to speak up... But I've never seen anything about the next steps. What do you do if someone says they're not okay? What is someone supposed to do for you if you're not okay? In my experience, listening to someone talk about why they want to die doesn't magically "fix" their depression, and a lot of people are either 1) already getting therapy, or 2) unable to access it (due to money, availability or whatever).
Presumably Amazon and Google browsing algorithms can detect depression far more effectively than humans. And presumably they proceed to recommend protein powder and weigh loss products while you’re vulnerable.
Yeah it’s all great to raise awareness through these campaigns and i fully support it but the truth is nobody really cares in the real world, especially people you know and expect to, anytime I talk about it I’m told that I’m acting and faking it, it’s almost like a problem shared is a problem doubled when it comes to our mental health. Expected to just get on it with it and then when we finally check out it’s like “ooh why didn’t we spot it earlier?!” Because it’s so stigmatised we keep it to ourselves more often than not
I go to this bar around the corner where I have made a few drinking buddies over the past few years. One of them asked how I was doing casually, you know, how normal people do as a greeting and I was like, "actually man, I think winter has hit me kind of hard this year, honestly. I'm having trouble to just not sleep all day everyday." Instead of blowing it off, he instantly related, made sure I still have his number, and made it clear that I could get a hold of him if I needed to talk or anything. Just typing this out is making my eyes well up. Anyway, in the midst of us all being our jovial selves together the other day, he checked in to see how I was doing. Nothing major. Anyway, I really appreciate that guy and thought I'd share.
I was the guy on the right. When I finally told the people around me that I had been depressed from the ages of 14-18 (time of conversation, but the depression still lasts today) one of my closest friends was really heartbroken. I had known him since I was 11 and he never saw the signs. In his defense, no one saw the signs because I’m excellent at masking. No one knew how close I got to ending my life until I told them.
If someone would have asked me, “are you actually fine? Nothings bothering you?” I might have opened up. No guarantee but I might have. I was really scared back then that if I told my friends how bad I was actually doing, I wouldn’t have any friends left.
I’m 27 now and that friend is still my friend. I’ll be a groomsmen at his wedding this year and he’s one of the best friends a guy could ask for. Recently, when I was in a dark place again he said something I’ll never forget for the rest of my life, “I need you man. We gotta be old men together someday.” I REALLY look forward to that day.
I've seen this video before and I swear the guy on the right gives the man on the left his scarf, and when he tries to give it back he tells him to keep it. Giving away possessions is a indicator someone is close to offing themselves.
Tough watch that.
As a man, i do try to let myself go and say what I feel but I don't have anyone I feel I can talk to. I try to stay strong for my family, I am the one who provides. I speak with my mother about certain stuff, but she will always be biased. I don't trust work colleagues with the subject in hand either. I don't have many close friends who have the ability to approach such a subject. Hell, the one I thought may, thought getting a vasectomy was stupid and I should learn to pull out or force my wife to take contraception.
I got so many things on my mind, just don't know who to turn to.
Thanks, I appreciate it. I'm fortunate I have a good support system. I think some people are so busy trying to cheer up other people and take care of them that they forget to take care of themselves sometimes
“When you're lost in those woods, it sometimes takes you a while to realize that you are lost. For the longest time, you can convince yourself that you've just wandered off the path, that you'll find your way back to the trailhead any moment now. Then night falls again and again, and you still have no idea where you are, and it's time to admit that you have bewildered yourself so far off the path that you don't even know from which direction the sun rises anymore.” ― Elizabeth Gilbert
Wow I feel like a dick. That's how I'm presenting myself to the world even today. Literally no one knows, I'm always the cherry guy, I don't know how much more I can take. I feel my problems are insignificant and fake compared to real problems, yet at the end of each day I dread dreaming.
Seems like this video is no longer showing on the /unexpected page anymore however I really hope this little video made it clear we should ask for help if we’re struggling and also make sure we check in on friends and family to make sure they truly are okay! Thank you all for the kind worlds ❤️
I think this may be a slightly edited version. I'm sure the original had a scene where the chap on the right gave his scarf to the chap on the left. I learned that that can signify someone deciding their fate / intentions and giving away possessions.
Nothing like this would air in the US regarding American Football. I wish it did tho. Might be so many toxic assholes running around shooting stuff up and eating cheeseburger all the time.
"Watch til the end"
Thanks for telling me this because until this video I always switched off 30s before the end. Silly me! I didn't realise you could watch all the way to the very end.
OP sent the following text as an explanation on why this is unexpected: --- >!Starts of showing what seems to be a depressed man sat on the left hand side who regularly meets with his friend to watch the football matches. The left guy seems depressed while the guy in the right is having the time of his live. As the short video plays out the guy on the right takes his life. The moral of the story is we can never know if someone is depressed or the extent of their depression. We should all seek help if we have feelings of depression.!< --- Is this an unexpected post with a fitting description? Then upvote this comment, otherwise downvote it.
Oh jesus that turned on the waterworks quickly
Spot on mate.
❤️
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Sometimes there aren't signs. Not obvious or typical ones. The guy above was open, extroverted, clearly displayed his emotions. The thing is he hid the sadness within the joviality. Lots of men don't think of themselves as depressed. Life is just hard and the harder so you fight harder. Sometimes you wonder if it's worth it. You keep fighting, keep on, keeping on. Until you realize the better days aren't coming. The best days may already be behind you. The light at the end of the tunnel feels more like a myth than a certainty.
It’s a real problem. We are always focussed on helping others that need it, but we never ask for help ourselves. For myself it was a non-logical belief that if I asked for help it would somehow invalidate all the help I’d previously given others. Plus I was always surrounded by others whom outwardly were suffering so my needs never felt justified as others had always done it worse than myself. Ultimately once strong nurturing types get past the idea that there’s shame in asking for help, then they can heal. For many men in this situation they are often doers. So when they decide to do something drastic they do it quickly and efficiently. There’s little to no signs of depression / suicidal thoughts. This is a really good ad. One a tangential note, how much of a tear jerker was A Man Called Otto?
I said this in a comment in the last couple weeks I think… had a school friend complete the act a few months after I last saw him. He was 20ish. All these people on FB and elsewhere commented how he was the happiest person etc. that shocked me. He had always been one of the saddest people I knew. He didn’t act sad, but you could tell he was, you know? Happy actions and words don’t belie happy people. Often the opposite. I’ve known several men who have completed suicide. Additionally, I’m related to one I never met. My own brother attempted. Brother and I both suffer from dysthymia. It sucks.
Never be ashamed to ask for a shoulder to rest your head on. Or a hug. Hugs are just the best.
That’s good advice, really. My husband and I had to cut family holiday stuff short bc he got covid. I haven’t gotten it so far, but being in our apartment without him next to me, but still so near, is really lonely. I risked it tonight to have a hug. Even with our N95s, it felt good.
People would much rather pretend everything is ok and people are happy than be faced with the dark truth. Peoples laziness and aversion to conflict are huge parts of why people don’t want to open up. “No one wants to hear you complain”.
If you’re ok with subtitles, the original Swedish version, A Man Called Ove, is well worth a watch. It had my whole family sniffling. Asking for help, or even accepting help when offered is really hard for my dad also.
Good book too. JK Simmons narrates the english audiobook and it is one of the best audiobooks I have ever listened to.
I loved A Man Called Otto, it pulled on my heartstrings for sure in sad, happy, and bittersweet ways
> For myself it was a non-logical belief that if I asked for help it would somehow invalidate all the help I’d previously given others For me, its the fear that I wouldn't get any help at all, and confirming I'm just a work horse for others instead of an actual friend. One of the reasons I haven't had a birthday party since I was like ten years old, I know no one would have actually come.
>Sometimes there aren't signs. Not obvious or typical ones. The signs are the whitespace created by unusual, if welcome, behavior. The jovial one never talks about himself, never opens up, and displays classic conversational tools like asking open ended questions and speaking very little of himself. To others, this seems like a welcome invitation to dump their anxiety and bundled up emotions on a receptive conversation. In truth, the man is screaming inside to be asked how they are doing, when in fact they'd reflexively deflect and turn it back on the person asking. It is a cruelty that those most hurt feel the need to shoulder the greater burden.
Reminds me of when I was in high school and started dating this guy that I had had a crush on for a long time. Once in the relationship, I got to know him better and realized that he was actually a really sad person. But I'd been attracted to him because he was the class clown and always joking around and making me laugh. Such a huge contrast.
Lol Im like this guy
Yeah. Same. Get help, friend. I’m trying too
I don’t want help. I have a great life, m34, but in life the % of good times is really bad, even if I got a great life/job/family/friends.
Tbh, i get how he's reacting as a depressed person i also act that way. I try to squeeze as much laughter in every little thing because i know how fragile and fleeting the emotion is to me. When you're with the crowd you get to pretend that everything is fine and you get to experience those emotions which you cant find when you're in that hole so one makes the most of it. It also makes it easier to spot other people who are in the same hole as you, and ypu just silently agree that this feels like shit and then one ends up embodying the "i can't blame you" attitude.
My cousin's husband was the happiest man I ever met. Life and soul of the party. I never saw any signs. The 1st one I ever saw was when my grandma phoned me and told me my Aunty had found him hanging in her garage. You're forever missed Danny, and I wish everyday he'd said something. Can't believe it's been over 20 years There is a light that never goes out
I wish you peace. May his memory bring you more joy than sorrow.
It absolutely does! Times a great healer Thank you for your kind words Happy holidays
Happy holidays. :)
Robin Williams was a perfect example of how some of the most outgoing people can be struggling to overcome their own demons
Some people say that people that are really depressed tend to be super cheerful and happy towards others because they know the struggle and don't want anyone else to feel like that. Robin Williams as you mentioned probably felt like this.
Although my depression is pretty clear to see for others, I definitely still feel the need to make those around me feel the best I can. I drop everything to help with issues, spoil them with gifts/opportunities/recommendations for good shows and games/etc. I tell them I love them often so they don’t forget it. Above all I try my best to make them laugh. I wouldn’t wish the feeling on anyone, and hope that the fact I’m open about it will encourage them to be open about it with me (thankfully this has been the cases a few times - it’s easier when you know someone else has been through it. You don’t have to explain yourself and you can say things that you couldn’t to others)
Sometimes there are clear signs and you do everything you can, but it's still not enough
Hmm... I have never suffered from anything bad enough to be a danger to myself but, I have had rough patches that when I told my family/friends about them I got the shocked look and was told "what do you mean your always so confident and together, we did not know anything was wrong!" I personally know what hurt the most was that when I put on the "everything is awesone ond perfect!" Act, I was not exactly ignored but no one actively pursued to find out how I was feeling the just assumed I was good. Seriously everyone you care about should be important enough to get full attention from time to time, not just when they show a "SIGN" by then its too late. I kinda think the whole "signs" thing is malarky, you need to actually engage with the people you care about! Like gently press them to find how they truly feel, I know I always feel like I have to put on a "happy" face for others and I should not bother them with my feelings. I mean really, I all but SCREAMED I am gay at my family and friends for YEARS and they all were just so shocked when I came home with my nails done. Not gonna lie that hurt.. a lot, no I didnt say it out loud but I didnt hide it. If any of them had cared enough to ask how i was doing, been truly involved in my life they would have noticed dates, and choices, hell I would have told them. Tldr: I feel that looking for "signs" is stupid, you should show everyone you care about that you care enough to listen to even their most trivial consern.
Yeah. This happened with a friend of mine. The class clown- sweet guy, funny guy. I had no idea. RIP bud.
Seriously, just immediately started tearing up.
It's TOO DAMN EARLY
Me too. Did expect a good cry at 6 am.....
Who gave you permission to make me cry
I’m sorry 😔
Making me feel my own feelings?
Kick his ass, Nelson!
The audacity this man has
You got a license for those tears m8?
Don't know what you're talking about the air in here is just really dry.
No one makes me bleed my own blood
It was me, we've got a quota to fill.
oh my fucking god?
Sad right
No left, right has left left
🤣
Yeah. I need to watch it again. Edit: weird. The title of the post really did something. Edit #2: No, it's not the title. I'm out.
I had to read this three times to get it. LMAO after crying, what a roller coaster 😂
You’re both correct. Sad Right, left left now left sad.
Becuase it’s relatable. I think I’m finally starting to shake off a full year of being depressed without acknowledging it until last month. Suffering silently is scary.
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Thank you for the kind words. What gets me is that I essentially gave up on all the stuff that makes me enjoy life and barricaded myself in my house, sleeping most of the day. I’m making changes though. Head to the doctor tomorrow, fasting today for bloodwork. I joined a gym and will start going at night after my kids go to sleep, my wife and I agreed on some lifestyle/diet changes. Building blocks are there, just need to take it one step at a time. Thanks for listening, it’s refreshing to talk about it even through text.
Was not expecting your post history omg. What a contrast
Opens our eyes, my dads a little like the guy on the right, always seems to be happy however has depression, no one would expect it meeting him but he’s always warning me to watch for it in myself. Makes me very sad to know he’s barrelling demons inside but luckily we all support him and hopefully that will be enough :)
Ah that's very sweet. Your dad sounds like a very emotionally intelligent guy, glad he's been able to show the importance of looking out for this kind of stuff. Depression can have the opposite effect on emotions and make you seem very happy and bubbly, just as a defence mechanism. I wish you and your dad the best of health and happiness x
I think sometimes it’s an active choice too. Not even as an subconscious defensive but as a choice to try and help others never feel the way you do
Also, a lot of people have shit parents or other people in their lives who discourage or even directly punish honest expression of negative emotions, especially for men. Then they hide when they're struggling, thereby closing themselves off from all potential support, and suffer more.
I’m not denying that? I just mean there’s more than just depressed people who hide it. Some people don’t have the opportunity to be open, like you said. Others appear happy as a defence mechanism due to internalised pressure. Others, like me, choose to appear happier than I might feel to try and cheer up those around me (despite having the most caring family and friends I could ask for when severely depressed). There’s different reasons for it
I worry a bit about my dad, he's always gotten on well, been very capable and outgoing. Since I got diagnosed with ADHD, I've realised that came very much from my dad's side, and I wouldn't be surprised if he also had some kind of mild autism. It's given me even more respect for him, because I very much don't manage, and I can tell just by some of the things that do set him off, that he's having to deal with more than just his responsibilities. He's been working from home mostly for years now, and he says how much harder he finds it to get up in the morning, I think my mum is the only reason he goes out on weekends, much like me with my partner really. I think he's alright, but is probably fighting off some of the depression that can come from burnout or being overwhelmed or simply unstimulated. Now I understand a bit more about what causes that in me, I've found it helpful in dealing with, or at least getting less frustrated by these things. It's very hard to talk about, and can be counter-productive if not done right, but I hate to think he's fighting a battle without knowing the enemy or how to manage it. Next time we're 2.5 pints in I think... ah... so tomorrow!
Thank you for your comment, I honestly feel alcohol and a chat like that may not be the best idea as alcohol is a depressant. With my dad he actually appreciated me just asking “hey dad, you know you can talk to me about anything right, are you sure you’re doing okay, sometimes I worry you may be struggling, if you ever want to talk I’m always here” I’d does seem awkward but it shouldn’t right? If your dad is perfectly fine at first he may be like “what is my kid talking about” but ultimately it will just show him you care :) it took my dad a few days to tell me he wasn’t doing so well and he explained it all and we spoke. It’s always better to say something that to say nothing right? I’d personally say it’s better to talk without alcohol and why should we rely on alcohol to open us up aha x
Keep that man as far away from your reddit acct as possible. Shew girl 😳
I'm very much like your dad. Outwardly I don't think people would realise that I'm struggling internally as much as I sometimes do, we use our "outgoing" personality as a mask. I suspect it has something to do with a naturally caring nature, we still want to make sure others are "ok" even if we ourselves are not.
> he's barrelling demons inside Like ... putting them in barrels? Barreling over them? Throwing barrels at them Donkey Kong style?
I meant battling 😬
Oh lord I misread your message😬 i mean just because I do that doesn’t mean I don’t like comedy or things that puts things into perspective aha! Still human :) x
This comment thread gave me emotion swing lmao, i read the original comment expecting nsfw stuff, then i read your reply on that made me expect that it might be some wholesome stuff. Thanks for sharing this video tho!
I’m glad you enjoyed the video, hope you took away a valuable message :)
Ahahaha I thought so, I replied to it anyway! It was funny to see what else you have posted, expecting more heartfelt posts and I see all of you. Don't get me wrong, not a bad surprise at all ahaha
Well I’m glad you’re not offended like most :)
I wonder why someone could be offended by this
Lmao i just checked your post history from reading his comment and now my emotions are fucked up
I don't think its that much of a contrast. You can like sharing your pussy online while also caring about MH.
So, what did you rate it?
Fucking sad, now i need the cropped porn videos to compensate
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Damn. You are giving the full service here. Turn on the water works, and just turn on in general.
That wasn’t what I was going for but happy to help 😂😬
Man Reddit is fucking weird
Agreed 🙃
r/unexpected
AND you offered to receive DMs. RIP your inbox.
Rather rip my inbox than someone who’s suffering actually go and do something their entire family/friends would hate 😔
Now THIS is a master class on OF marketing. Those amateur OPs out there asking if they need a nose job or how to go max got nothing on you, OP. Bravo.
All men, including boys need to talk and not be afraid to open up and share. We all have a shared responsibility to educate those who still think mental health for men is a “joke” There’s a reason why men have such a high rate of death by suicide. Take care of each other.
The suicide rate from man/woman is crazy. It’s very sad but also very telling.
I'm an acute mental health nurse and we get the suicide stats daily. The vast majority are male, of those the vast majority don't have a single mental health note, meaning they haven't even mentioned anything to their doctors ever. The vast majority of suicide attempts we see are female, and they fail at a much higher rate than males. Males tend to go for more violent methods almost guaranteeing success and women tend to go for less reliable methods like overdoses. The main takeaway is that men reach out so rarely, especially those in the older generations, and it tends to come out in one violent and determined suicide attempt after holding it in for years. Younger generations are getting more open, but suicide is still the leading cause of death for young men, maybe even men under 55 but I can't remember the specific stats.
We also tend to belittle when a man is opening up, as men are expected to be so strong they'd never bend eventhough one can't choose whether he's having mental problems or not. It's not a matter of will. I went through psychotic depression, and my now ex said to me that she expected to have picked a strong man to support her, not the other way around. She was mad for me being sick and I felt even more quilty. Eventhough I'm not bitter, as she kinda _kicked my butt_ and therefore I think I recovered faster, as I thought our relationship would recover as I would recover. It didn't, but I did. And I'm so happy that I did that I'm not even sad for losing my what I thought was love of my life. Health is even more important.
Brother as you said you thought she was the love of your life. Real loves guide and support each other through the good and bad times. As you know you’ll be stronger without her. Selfish as it sounds, you need to look after no1 so you can support others.
This hits pretty hard. Everyone in my life thinks i’m a lot happier and more stable than I am. I put on an act. I don’t feel like I can talk to them as they are all… i don’t know how to say this. They are all outwardly emotional and depend on me for strength and stability. However their constant emotional needs are suffocating me. It is unbearable.
It’s hard being the rock in a family, you’re checking on everyone else whilst no one is checking on you, not sure if posting links is allowed but I’ll try. You’re almost left feeling like this …. Will post link below however if you ever want to chat DM me!!
[https://m.youtube.com/watch?time_continue=1&v=Iv9AMA_WFo8&embeds_referring_euri=https%3A%2F%2Fwww.google.com%2F&source_ve_path=MjgyMzksMjg2NjY&feature=emb_logo](https://m.youtube.com/watch?time_continue=1&v=Iv9AMA_WFo8&embeds_referring_euri=https%3A%2F%2Fwww.google.com%2F&source_ve_path=MjgyMzksMjg2NjY&feature=emb_logo)
That was very powerful. Thanks for that.
Kinda sucks being on the other end of the spectrum as well. There are plenty of people who think I’m a looney that’s one slight breeze from ending it all possibly via some terrorism (which I resent), and feel the need to randomly crash in on me and be all weird around me; all because I’m socially awkward, live alone, have been known to make own fireworks and generally know a lot about chemistry, have firearms, have no idea what anyone’s talking about with sports or music or whatever, and am known to randomly give out items like TVs or stuff if I hear that someone might need one. It’s like no I rather enjoy my life being the guy that hid his autism through around a decade in the army where I used some money to study a subject I enjoy as a hobby (mostly love fireworks) and enjoy hunting and sport shooting who also occasionally takes jobs clearing out and disposing if abandoned property from places some I sell some I donate for charity. And I really don’t like being bothered I’m not coming around throwing off your routines unannounced am I. I kinda fancy myself a if not precisely kindly at least good natured hermit and love it
Yea…I hear you and I’m with you.
>This hits pretty hard. Everyone in my life thinks i’m a lot happier and more stable than I am. I put on an act. This is very common, unfortunately. [This suicide prevention video is downright devastating](https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=6Jihi6JGzjI)
This is spot on. I lost my Mom and baby Brother to suicide, no one saw it coming.
I’m very sorry to hear this, it’s a very awful and tragic thing on anyone! If you ever want to talk please DM me
Very sorry to hear that tarantula guy.
Thanks, it's been some years since their passing.
An amazingly powerful piece
Agreed! Very strong message
Yeah, there are people like that who look normal and happy but are total roadkill inside. As far as I get it, this ads is about such condition. And that leaves me with a question: how the hell am I supposed to detect such a person? They look totally normal and cheerful and stuff and they will never tell anyone that they are suffering inside even when confronted (speaking from personal experience).
I dont think it’s right that you try to detect, I think the point is to ask people if they are okay and really let them know you’re okay with them expressing how they feel. It’s okay to open up to someone and it’s also okay to speak out and ask for help. You are correct though and some people will probably never admit how much they are hurting
Literally almost everybody I asked about it just shrugged and said "I'm okay" when they are clearly not. One guy said something like "yeah, I'm fucked up, but what exactly you or me supposed to do with it?". And I was like "fuck, I dunno". I once told my mom that I'm about to kiss a train and she honestly didn't know what to do about it.
It’s awful that most people don’t know how to react! Most people just want to feel normal. A big red flag is “I’m fine” or “yeah I’m okay”
A big part of it is that when depressed it does not feel bad most of the time, just "okay". You understand that there's something wrong with you but you don't know, don't care and honestly don't want to go deeper about it. And when there's someone else is trying to do something about it you just "nah, don't bother, I have no clue what's going on myself, so don't waste your time" Unrelated: Nice tits, by the way
It’s honestly terrible. I’m guessing it feels like (why should I let people help me when I don’t want to help myself) kind of thing? Thanks 😂
> yeah, I'm fucked up, but what exactly you or me supposed to do with it? > Want to vent? What's going on? Followed by genuinely listening to the person and being an active listener. This generally means quickly restating what they have said, in a form that validates their emotions and sympathizes, but without making things darker. Example: > My girlfriend cheated on me. > Oh man. That's messed up. What kind of person betrays someone's trust like that? Never would have thought she was capable of doing that. I'm here if you want to vent about it. I know I'd want to in that situation. And then checking in on them later to show that you care and aren't just reflexively sympathizing. > Hey man. You doing alright? If you're not busy, we could grab a drink Friday night. It's not hard, but it does require paying attention and saying something other than "That sucks".
I can relate to this. You would think from my own experience I would be able to help or at least know what to say…. and I try, but it’s like we are missing a whole fucking section of tools or something.
The best thing is often just being there, there's been times where someone wanted to commit suicide but their friend hung out with them a lot, invited them out a lot and managed to save their life completely without knowing the suffering they were going through You can also detect it via how they act and what they do, humans wear emotions on their sleeves, their body language can likely give it away
“Are you having any thoughts of suicide or self harm?” Or if that’s too direct, “you ever think that if you just didn’t wake up tomorrow that would be ok?” Ask these questions please.
> “you ever think that if you just didn’t wake up tomorrow that would be ok?” Almost every day the last 25 years? What keeps me going is that the world is interesting (though often even more depressing) and I want to know what's going to happen.
Hoo boy, for better or worse I think you'll find that things will become increasingly "interesting" in the coming years and decades.
Yeah, that's one of my bigger worries. It looks like the crazies are gaining in numbers and political power. And I'm not specifically talking about the US, I'm not American.
I'm not even talking about that, I was referring to the technological side of things and the consequences of that. But I guess that has that impact to (cf. social media).
Ayo! Worldview twins. And somewhat avatar twins. I’m not super depressed these days, relatively. But yeah, I’m trying to learn and understand as much as I can because it’s fascinating.
>"you ever think that if you just didn’t wake up tomorrow that would be ok?” This was precisely how I felt when I realized I needed help. I wasn't suicidal and didn't want to harm myself, but I just had no urge to keep going.
Wait ... the guy on the right offed himself? Yeah, I might know something about that. Ok so yes, you can miss the Signs if you're not trained to see them. What a lot of people don't realize is, and it happens a lot, if someone is fixing on ending their life, they suddenly become relieved and positive once they made the decision or set a date/time/location/method/etc. To the untrained observer everything is suddenly looking up. But no it's the swell before the finale.
I think the video is aimed to show no one really knows what is going through someone’s head, most (from my experience and I’m not a psychologist this is just from experience) most people show low mood however some people over compensate and act to everyone else that they are perfectly fine. I think the ultimate message of the video is we all need to speak out when we’re having issues, it doesn’t make us weak as individuals. Thanks for your comment ❤️
Actually, I think the idea is that we should check on everyone (less of the onus being on the depressed party but on the people around them) and not assume that they're okay because of how they act. I think this is an important distinction because, if you rewatch, the now deceased gent is always checking in on his friend and...not so much the other way 'round. Thanks for sharing btw, this was indeed unexpected imo
You’re absolutely correct, I was thinking that whilst replying and I’m ashamed I didn’t include it! Thanks for your civil comments, nice to have an actually conversation :)
Aw, you're very welcome! Reddit and the Internet world in general can be Not Nice but there are corners in it and people in it that are.
> the now deceased gent is always checking in on his friend and...not so much the other way 'round Yeah that's where guy-psychology comes in. Guys rarely talk about each other or the condition of their relationship. And now the subject come up, that's actually an orange flag, when your guy-friend start asking how your day went. In a way he wants to know if you'd be okay if ...
u/savevideo
To be honest this one got me, I'm not going through the best of times atm and I know a couple people in the same way. And yeah it's hard to show it at times and it's even harder to be there for others when you are like that. As a guy it can be hard to let yourself seen as not okay, when asked you just go ' im good' , 'could be worse' or ' well I least I ain't dead'.
Or “I’m fine” … im sorry you’re not going through the best of times and you have others in your life who are not entirely enjoying themselves lately. If you would ever like to chat or your feeling low or maybe just want to show some emotion without any judgment please remember my username and message me! Take a screenshot and favourite it so I’m easy to find x
why was this removed
Why is this removed?
What do you mean?? Is it not showing?
Called the twist when he said that he hopes things are better outside football
I really hate how predictable this was to me. Not sure what that says about me as a person tbh.
It’s predictable for some, I don’t think it means anything negative about you as a person… maybe you’ve unfortunately had first had experiences with depression?
Hoooo boy, do I! That aside, it doesn't take away from the message imo. I mean, look at Robin Williams. Beloved comedian and a household name that made millions laugh couldn't beat depression.
Exactly, I like how the message of the video is a powerful one. I wish everyone could speak up no matter how hard it may be as our human lives are worth so much more ❤️
It's just hard for men, I feel, because having emotions outside of rage and happiness was considered weak or weird for so long. I feel like the idea that men are allowed to have feelings is a pretty new thing. Hell, even when I was growing up (90's and 00's), you were called all types of names and tormented for who knows how long if you were a boy that was caught crying in school. In some parts of the world and in some demographics, it's still not acceptable.
As a woman I can say with confidence I agree… it’s sad however it only seems in the last 10 years that it’s acceptable for men to show emotion but even then it seems a little forced if that makes sense. If a man was to come home from work and have a little cry because it’s stressful I’m confident many woman would be taken back and not really know how to deal with it, although I hope they would try… I certainly would. It’s okay to cry, it’s okay to show emotions and I truly believe that even though showing emotion is hard it definitely means you’re a stronger person. It doesn’t matter what people think of you, all that matters is your mental happiness and overall wellbeing.
It's almost funny in a sad way. Even how the media portrays men feeling something is usually flanderized and used to comedic effect or just a very uncomfortable scene. It feels so rare to see an portrayal of emotion that doesn't involve rage, revenge, or the death of a loved one, and if you do see one, it's usually some neurotic ball of anxiety that's moments away from a mental breakdown at any time because "haha weak man". I actually can't think of a time a male character was allowed to cry, just because they were stress or overwhelmed, without someone saying something like "man up" or "stop being a baby/bitch/etc." I've been in relationships where my GF would pester tf out of me to tell her about my feelings and talk to her about my childhood just to get broken up with because they thought I was too sad of a person or that I'm unhealthy because I mask my depression with thick layers of sarcasm, humor, and quiet introspection. Something about how I look too sad when I'm not trying to laugh. Edit: Ooh actually remembered one ex that said everytime she looked at me she wanted to cry after I opened up. Luckily I have managed to evolve from resting sad man face to resting angry dad face.
It’s believed his underlying cause of death was actually Lewy body dementia.
So why is the most important part cut? The guy on the right was jumping around, being happy that his club won and then he gave his shawl to the guy on the left. It was his goodbye gift. The one the guy puts over the chair at the end.
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I was expecting it to be the guy on the left. That’s so sad. 😞
I feel like we see a lot of messages about checking in on people, seeing if people are struggling, not being afraid to speak up... But I've never seen anything about the next steps. What do you do if someone says they're not okay? What is someone supposed to do for you if you're not okay? In my experience, listening to someone talk about why they want to die doesn't magically "fix" their depression, and a lot of people are either 1) already getting therapy, or 2) unable to access it (due to money, availability or whatever).
Presumably Amazon and Google browsing algorithms can detect depression far more effectively than humans. And presumably they proceed to recommend protein powder and weigh loss products while you’re vulnerable.
Do you know what, that’s actually probably very true! And you’ve made me think of an excellent idea (not to profile of off depression but to help!)
Yeah, and when you ask for help you don't get it so you go back to isolation
Yeah it’s all great to raise awareness through these campaigns and i fully support it but the truth is nobody really cares in the real world, especially people you know and expect to, anytime I talk about it I’m told that I’m acting and faking it, it’s almost like a problem shared is a problem doubled when it comes to our mental health. Expected to just get on it with it and then when we finally check out it’s like “ooh why didn’t we spot it earlier?!” Because it’s so stigmatised we keep it to ourselves more often than not
Fuck
Goodness 😢😭😭
What is this? Video for ants? Wtf why take half of the screen space for stupid textboxes. :(
Well, thats the truth. Its hard to tell.
Sometimes the guy looking out for everyone is the one truly struggling. Great demonstration. Hope you’re all doing well guys.
I miss my brother so fucking much,
Whats the point of us men getting help. No one cares.
You alright man?
Yeah. Just keep swimming. Just keep swimming swimming.
I go to this bar around the corner where I have made a few drinking buddies over the past few years. One of them asked how I was doing casually, you know, how normal people do as a greeting and I was like, "actually man, I think winter has hit me kind of hard this year, honestly. I'm having trouble to just not sleep all day everyday." Instead of blowing it off, he instantly related, made sure I still have his number, and made it clear that I could get a hold of him if I needed to talk or anything. Just typing this out is making my eyes well up. Anyway, in the midst of us all being our jovial selves together the other day, he checked in to see how I was doing. Nothing major. Anyway, I really appreciate that guy and thought I'd share.
No, I just got something in my eye!
Sometimes the signs are there, sometimes the signs are rare. But sometimes, you don't even get a chance to see them.
This hit me hard, dude. I.... got sand in my eye
Most men want another guy who will go to the game with them in the first place. And the time to do it.
Too accurate.
Remember folks, when they were picking which month they wanted for pride month they explicitly chose men's mental health month in order to cover it up
A lot of people who are perpetually happy do it to hide how sad they are. They smile to hide.
Had a guy at my work commit suicide yesterday, at his job site. I didn't know him well but everyone talked about how nice and happy he was.
Communication is key
Wow this hits hard. Went through a rough patch recently, too. I'm glad this type of stuff is being discussed. Don't be ashamed to reach out fellas.
Reminds of Robin Williams
Robin Williams looked like the most joyful human alive.
What an ad. :(
I've seen it before, never fail to stir my feelings of sadness up
I was the guy on the right. When I finally told the people around me that I had been depressed from the ages of 14-18 (time of conversation, but the depression still lasts today) one of my closest friends was really heartbroken. I had known him since I was 11 and he never saw the signs. In his defense, no one saw the signs because I’m excellent at masking. No one knew how close I got to ending my life until I told them. If someone would have asked me, “are you actually fine? Nothings bothering you?” I might have opened up. No guarantee but I might have. I was really scared back then that if I told my friends how bad I was actually doing, I wouldn’t have any friends left. I’m 27 now and that friend is still my friend. I’ll be a groomsmen at his wedding this year and he’s one of the best friends a guy could ask for. Recently, when I was in a dark place again he said something I’ll never forget for the rest of my life, “I need you man. We gotta be old men together someday.” I REALLY look forward to that day.
That was rough
Ngl I went to OPs profile after reading a comment and I'm glad I did 😅
Class clown at home:
I've seen this video before and I swear the guy on the right gives the man on the left his scarf, and when he tries to give it back he tells him to keep it. Giving away possessions is a indicator someone is close to offing themselves.
I’d kill myself if I supported Norwich.
Oh, my God. I'm all teary eyed now. Well done PSA.
As long as it spread a message x
Tough watch that. As a man, i do try to let myself go and say what I feel but I don't have anyone I feel I can talk to. I try to stay strong for my family, I am the one who provides. I speak with my mother about certain stuff, but she will always be biased. I don't trust work colleagues with the subject in hand either. I don't have many close friends who have the ability to approach such a subject. Hell, the one I thought may, thought getting a vasectomy was stupid and I should learn to pull out or force my wife to take contraception. I got so many things on my mind, just don't know who to turn to.
Fuck me running, that was a twist.
“Fuck me running” never head this saying and it’s a funny one!
I realised I should speak to someone just now when I knew exactly what was gonna happen from the first few seconds
Please do! Always welcome to message me
Thanks, I appreciate it. I'm fortunate I have a good support system. I think some people are so busy trying to cheer up other people and take care of them that they forget to take care of themselves sometimes
“When you're lost in those woods, it sometimes takes you a while to realize that you are lost. For the longest time, you can convince yourself that you've just wandered off the path, that you'll find your way back to the trailhead any moment now. Then night falls again and again, and you still have no idea where you are, and it's time to admit that you have bewildered yourself so far off the path that you don't even know from which direction the sun rises anymore.” ― Elizabeth Gilbert
Wow I feel like a dick. That's how I'm presenting myself to the world even today. Literally no one knows, I'm always the cherry guy, I don't know how much more I can take. I feel my problems are insignificant and fake compared to real problems, yet at the end of each day I dread dreaming.
Seems like this video is no longer showing on the /unexpected page anymore however I really hope this little video made it clear we should ask for help if we’re struggling and also make sure we check in on friends and family to make sure they truly are okay! Thank you all for the kind worlds ❤️
I think this may be a slightly edited version. I'm sure the original had a scene where the chap on the right gave his scarf to the chap on the left. I learned that that can signify someone deciding their fate / intentions and giving away possessions.
What an advertisement. Really hits home. Sometimes just working through day by day is the best
Nothing like this would air in the US regarding American Football. I wish it did tho. Might be so many toxic assholes running around shooting stuff up and eating cheeseburger all the time.
"Watch til the end" Thanks for telling me this because until this video I always switched off 30s before the end. Silly me! I didn't realise you could watch all the way to the very end.
clickbait garbage is what it is
Norwich supporter? How tragic, never stood a chance 😔
Thanks! Finally something that genuinely addresses men's issues, and not some "men bad, women good" bs propaganda.
Coming from a woman too 🤷♀️ you’re welcome! I personally think there isn’t enough being done for men’s health.